TTTfi OMATIA DAILY BEE: SATURDAY, MAT?CIT 7, 1f03. Tim OmaHa Daily Bee. rOCNDED' BT EDWARD nOSEWATER. VICTOR KGBEWATEK, EDITOR. Rntered at Omaha Pustofflca a second class matter. TERMS OP FUI1SCR1HTION: Tally Ilea (without Bunday). one ear..H00 liclljr b and Sunday, ona year (00 Bunday Bee, ona year i-M fcaturday bee, ona yaur 10 DELIVEHKD BY CARRIER: Dally Ilea (Including Bund,)), per week.ISc iJfcilr Bee (without Bun-lay), por week.ltfc Evening licit (without' Hundaj). pT week c Evening Be (with Sunday), per wwk.lOc Addreaa all eomplalnte of Irregularities In delivery to City Circulation Department. OFFICES: Omaha The Bee Building. Bouth Omaha City Hall Building. Council Bluffs IS Bcott Blreet. Chicago lwo University Building. New York Ut Home Life Insurance Building. . Washington T2S Fourteenth fltreet N. w. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to ncwe and edi torial matter ahonld be addressed, Omaha bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order payable to The Bee Publishing company. Only 2-cent stamps received In payment of mall account a. Personal check, except on Omaha or eastern exchanges, hot accepted. STATEMENT OF CIRClAl. VTION. .. ftate of Nebraska, Douglas Coutny, a : George B. Taachuck, treasurer of The Bee lAibllahlng company, being duly aworn, aya that the actual number of full and complete contra of The Dally. Morning, ICvenlng and Sunday Bee rrlnted during the month of February., 1908. waa aa fol low!: 1 t 36.760 16..... . 30.100 i .....J M.300 IT S8.900 I.. M.180 II 36.930 4 38830 1 30,730 1 38,910 20. r 36,300 ... 36.080 21..;;....... M.340 7 Sfl,M 22 .. a30 I...... 86,030 23 38,500 35,000 24.;......... 36,300 10 36,M0 II 36,70 11 36,100 2... 36,490 11 30,9.00 27 W.M0 1 3OJ00 21 86,380 14 86,100 29 3650 II...... 36,110 Totals 1,046,660 Leas unaold and returned copies. 8,437 Net total 1,039,113 Dally average 36,631 QKORUH B. TZ3CHUCK, Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before me this 2d day of March, 1903. ROBERT HUNTER, Notay Public. wiiE.i oct or TOWS, afescrlbera Iravlag (he city tern porarllr ahonld have The Be a,Ul te them. Address will be changed attest aa requested. The two perils Just now are "predatory wealth" and "predatory pollUclang." Kentucky la the flrit state to prove that tobacco Is worse than whisky as a crime breeder. It may help If Mr. Maxim's inven tion of a noiseless explosive Is used in the Fourth of July fireworks. A French woman has com to this country to urge "corset for mon." Most men are rather fond of them already. The democratic statesman from Hall and the republican statesman from Lancaster might hold a consola tion party. The navy may not be In the beBt condition possible, but it la believed that It will withstand any bombard ment of paper bullets. . Those New York to Paris autolsts probably never stop to think that this Iowa and Nebraska mud is just what is needed for the wheat crop. A New York anarchist asserts that self-preservation la the first law of nature. That Is one excuse for the elimination of the anarchists. The United States is negotiating an arbitration treaty with Switzerland. Boston may quit losing sleep over fear of an attack by the' Swiss navy. I 1 . . '. Japan has ' sent a commissioner to learn how the city of New York is governed. If he finds out, he will be doing a favor by telling the taxpayers of New York. The Atlanta Constitution la urging the holding of a national farmers' fair. It will be held In Omaha next December and Georgia farmers are cordially invited. If coming events cast their shadows before, the democratic national plat form to be promulgated at Denver pext July will fill nearly two newspa per columns set in small type. . Ouess the money panic is over all right A Chicago bank has refused to accept a pall of pennies for deposit unless the patron first wrapped them In packages of twenty-five each. Now, don't all speak at once. Which one of the Nebraska delegation is to be cast In the role that Is to pre sent the nam of the Nebraska candi date to th Denver convention? 1 Vs aa MSs f Dtluala 4 n .- a Tk a 1.1 UW VMMB w DO J el HQ fiuu III ' spend $1,000,000,000 on a navy If be could get the money. It is one of the Joys of the day dreamer to figure on what he would do If he had the money. , Senator Bourne has offered to bet $10,000 that "President Roosevelt will i bo named at the Chicago convention." Senator. Bourn la determined to get tils share of attention; let It cost him what it may. ' A witness before a senate commit- -tee has testified that the American navy was woefully . Inefficient In the war with Spain. It is Interesting to ''not that the inefficiency was not cjia- . covered by Spain. If anarchUts must carry on their work of attempted assassination, let us hop they follow the example of ' that Chicago "Red" and attack none but men who ar well armed and ' know Low to shooU SAME OLD DEtfOCBATlO FLdTPORM. It was to have been expected that the democrats of Nebraska In promul gating a platform should make It era body the well known views of Mr. Bryan so as to furnish a guide to the platform makers In th Denver' con vention, where his third nomination for the presidency is assured. It was also to have been expected that in for mulating such a platform much that is old and little that Is new would be In corporated Into It. In these expecta tions, no one will be disappointed. Comparison of the platform Just put out by the democratic state convention with thst put out a. year ago by the Nebraska democrats shows that this year's platform Is mere repetition without change of substance or phraseology In nearly every plank and that the new material In It consists only of those pronouncements grounded upon "the recent panic and the conditions growing out of It. Mr. Bryan wrote the platform In 1907 and has simply added a few paragraphs to bring It down to date and make it pass current In 1903. The new sec tions are those which deal with stock watering and stock gambling, bank deposit guaranties, the Aldrlch and Fowler bills and the stricter enforce ment of immigration laws against the admission of foreign anarchists. In many of his positions on public questions Mr. Bryan Is not at variance with the republicans, but on others, such ns the tariff, the management of our island possessions, the annihilation of industrial combinations rather than their regulation, he Is In direct vari ance with the republican position. It Is on these variations that the issues of the coming national campaign will be made up and they will furnish the theme for most of the campaign discussion. CARRYING CONCEALED WEAPONS. The demand for stricter enforce ment of the laws prohibiting the carry ing of concealed weapons, emphasized by the recent anarchistic outbreaks, has a champion In Brigadier General F. D. Grant, who has gone on record in official condemnation of the prac tice of allowing soldiers to carry con cealed, weapons when off duty. A coast artilleryman was convicted at Fort Preble, Me., for assaulting a fel low soldier and was sentenced to re duction In the ranks, three months' imprisonment and a forfeiture of pay. The court-martial recommended clem ency on account of sixteen years' faith ful service, and because of a claim of self-defense. In approving the sentence of the court-martial. General Grant reviewed the facts, which showed that the trouble started "In a public dive main tained In violation of the law In the city of . Portland, Me, a prohibition state," and that when the soldiers ad journed to an alley to" settle their dis pute, the accused man drew a revolver and shot his comrade In the leg. Con cluding, the general says: The practice of carrying concealed weap ons la without any justification, la reprehen sible, and when reeort Is unnecessarily had to a deadly weapon, endangering the life of a comrade, much more punishment should be awarded than waa done In this case. If the professional soldier, trained In the use of firearms and fully instructed as to the right to use them. Is not to be allowed to carry concealed weapons when oft duty, as General Grant in sists he Is not, it is difficult to under stand how any ordinary circumstances would justify a private citizen In toting a gun. There will be a decrease In the homicide record when every man caught with a concealed weapon is arrested and punished. PREPARING TO FROD CONGRESS. According to reliable Information from Washington, President Roosevelt has determined to Interfere with the plans of certain leaders, in both par ties, of reactionary tendencies who have been figuring on rushing the big appropriation bills through and greas ing the way for an early adjournment, leaving many of his mora important recommendations to come up at the short session under the head of "un finished business." The Roosevelt policies meet the approval of a ma jority of the members in both bouses of congress, but some of the political bellwethers have apparently committed themselves to Inaction at this session to avoid considering various subjects which might have an influence in the coming campaign, until after the presi dential election. President. Roosevelt Is much in earnest in desiring the legislation he urged upon congress in his annual message. Regardless of the coining campaign, he holds that the adminis tration work, already so well begun in the railway rate law and other meas ures of that character, cannot be con sidered complete without this supple mental legislation. While some of the matters may have to go over until the short session, or until the new con gress meets. It is understood that the president will oppose adjournment until congress considers these meas ures: A new employers' liability law.' A low restricting the Issuance of ex parte Injunctions In labor dlsputea. A perfected anti-trust law aa a substitute for the Sherman act. A law for valuation of railway properties, and regulation of stock and bond Issues of corporations engaged In Interstate com merce. The president believes that the peo ple are back of him In his advocacy of the enactment of these measures by congress. Th whole course, of con gress has furnished an Intimation of Intention to defer action. Unlimited ilm has bn allowed for discussion of bills that have not Involved any great principle or held any particular Interest for th whole people. Th president's plan for compelling action has not been revealed, but there Is no on who knows more than the president about spurring congress on. He dem onstrated his ability In that line when, by messages to congress and open let ters to the public, he aroused a senti ment which forced an unwilling con gress to take prompt action - on the beef scandal, on Cuban reciprocity and on the railway rate act. Resumption of these tactics would doubtless con vince congress of the necessity of abandoning plans for adjournment In April or early May and giving Imme diate consideration to some measures demanded for the benefit of the entire nation. liOW MVCll LVNOtRt At a meeting of th populist state committee held at Lincoln last Janu ary a motion to dissolve the party or ganization was voted down and a call for "ft state convention" ordered in which 612 delegates would be entitled to seats.. The state convention has been duly held. State Chairman Manuel publicly proclaims that "In a private meeting" there were 122 del egates present, while In the public meeting it was plain that not even that number held up hands. And yet the same state chairman adds. "This is the largest convention the populists have had for many years." , Taking Mr. Manuel at his word and accepting his count of noses, the ques tion propounds Itself, How much longer Is the fusion farce to be kept up In Nebraska? The populist party once mustered 80,000 votes for John H. Powers, running for governor in 1890 against nominees of both the old parties. In three elections It won out with its candidate for governor and once had possession of all the offices in the state house and both branches of the legislature. Since 1900 the populist organiza tion has been nothing more than a pig-tall to the democrats, kept up by a small group of professional politi cians using it as trading stock for nominations or promises of appointive places. The vast majority of the rank and file of high privates tfho embraced populism with honesty of purpose have gone bacii to their former party affilia tions. The Bo-called leaders, how ever, continue their masquerade, de luding themselves with the idea that they are fooling somebody. The steadily dwindling column of follow ers behind them proves that those who are willing to be fooled have become mighty few in number. PAYING DIVIDENDS WITH SCRIP. The Public Service commission of the state of New York, which has very large powers overthe management of railway and other corporations, has just rendered an Important decision by refusing to allow the Erie railroad per mission to isBue scrip, representing a dividend of 4 per cent on its second preferred stock, to be paid on Novem ber 1, 1917. The proposition of the Erie is not a new one, having been frequently adopted throughout the country. It has been one of the factors entering Into the general overcapitalization of the big corporations. It has become almost a common practice for railroads and other corporations to declare fancy dividends, In some cases issuing addi tional stock and apportioning it in lieu of cash. In the Erie case, the scrip offered as a dividend bore interest and, in effect, became a liability of the company, instead of a surplus asset. The Public Service commission, in denying the application, declared that dividends must be declared only from surplus profits and only when these profits can be disbursed in dividends without depriving the corporation of the necessary working capital. Had this rule been in effect for the last half-dozen years, there would have been no such marked inability of rail way managers to secure funds for needed betterments and extensions. I nder the "high finance" methods of railway operation, the practice has Brown of distributing surplus earnings down to the last cent in dividends, thus making the stocks look hlghlv at tractive to Investors and speculators, vhlle funds for Improvements and ex tensions have been secured by Issuing new r.tock or new mortgage bouds, all of which placed an additional tax on tlio future earning capacity of the roada. Had not the dividend rate beon di&proiiortionately raised, the railroads would have still been able to pay regu lar dividends and provide working capital. There will be less financial Erlef In railway circles, If the roads follow the rule laid down by the'Publfc Service commission and limit dividends to actual surplus earnings. It takes cleverness to make a good liar. While the World-Herald boasts that "every county but three" was represented in the democratic state convention, its own roll call shows nine absentee counties and the coun ties that were fully represented by complete delegations could be counted on the fingers. As to being the best attended democratic convention ever held in Neb:aska, the records will show that there have been Beveral democratic conventions held in this Rtate with much better attendance. Colonel Bryan throws a special bou- iuet at the World-Herald for remain ing steadfast and true during the dark days of 1896, when so'many demo cratic dallies fell before the )landlsh ments of the "money power." Mr. Bryan knows why the World-Herald etood steadfast He knows all about the money poured into It by Marcus Daly, W. A. Clark, John A. Crelghton and the other sliver mine bulllonalres who wanted an organ and were willing to pay for It City Electrician Mlchaelsen Insists that It does not do Omaha any good to be represented aa suffering from ft handicap In the cost of power for fac tories, especially when It Is not strictly true. The way to get new enter prises for Omaha Is to proclaim the advantages we offer to show that the proposed factory or Jobbing house can be made more profitable here than at some other competing location. The four democrats In the Kentucky legislature who voted for Bradley for senator have been denounced by Mr. Bryan as "embezzlers of power" have been burned In effigy at Frankfort and have been lauded at democratic mass meetings in other counties as patriots and saviours of the state. The Ken tucky democrats are in fighting trim again against each other. The Omaha Commercial club wants the freight houses of Omaha kept open long enough to accommodate all busi ness which may be offered by the ship pers. This seems to be a reasonable request, and If the railroads are on the square in their professed desire to co-operate with their patrons they will make more satisfactory arrangements. Two or three of the presidential electors endorsed by the democrats are still masquerading under the name of populist What will tbey do if the St. Louis convention puts a dyed-in-the-wool populist ticket in the field without waiting for the aid or consent of any democrat on earth? Omaha postofflce receipts continue to show up better this year even than last year, which was high water mark. It is safe to say that in any compara tive table showing the business of all the postofflces of the country Omaha would hold its own against any other city of its class. Kansas City te, doubtless glad that Wu Ting-fang did not go through that town on his way to Washington. He would have been certain to have asked some embarrassing questions about the new union depot that was started about the time Confucius died. Prof. Starr of the University of Chi cago has gone to the wilds of Africa to search for a lost tribe of. cannibals. It is a. risky job, of course, but the professor prefers it to staying at home and listening to the campaign spell binders. Of course, it .will be merely coinci dence that the 6llver service to be pre sented to the battleship Nebraska and the fleet that has been rounding the Horn will arrive at San Francisco about the same time. Mr. Taft is very anxious to break up the conditions which keep the south solid in the democratic ranks. He ought to encourage Mr. Bryan to attempt to dictate to a few more southern legislatures. Chance for the Experts. 1 Detroit Free Tress. If It should cost a corporation $300 for killing a Pomeranian dog, what would bo the remunerative figures for wiping out a reputable American citlsen? Spread of Liberty. Philadelphia Inquirer. The shah now dodges his J t V boir.l with almost as much regularity a he bn'ta bin breakfasts. The descendants ! I'srius and Xerxes want their liberties. Coppering; (he Colonel. Cleveland Leader. Kentucky la always Interested la wI'M Colonel Watterson has to say, biK of lute It puts a large copper on anything he offers In the nature of political advice. Impossible Mixture. Philadelphia Inquirer. Nineteen Prooklvn automobiles recently made an "economy test." The effort to make an automobile and economy mix la tool stunt, but It's just like Brooklyn to try It. "Jealous of Honor." ' New York World. The committee of Washlnirtnn rnr. pendente has found auilty of Indiscretion two of their number who did press agent work for the Electric. Boat company In the recess. Their action has been prompt, as Ifshould be. The Washington corres pondents are properly jealous of their repu tation. Practical Christianity. Springfield Republican. Secretary Taft Is a direct and sensible speaker, conveying the Idea of soil, lit v nnrt poise, and If the effect of his Sunday talk in tspringiieid Is not to add to the financial aupport of the Young Men'a Christian as sociation, our people will be at fault. His address was not a lay sermon, sfter th fashion of William J. Bryan, but was ad mirably adapted to the occasion, and of especial value aa giving a new sense of the dependence of the federal government upon the helping hand of thla Dractlcal Christian organization In dealing with our foielg.i possessions and undertakings. Kinetic Energy Kinetic is good word. H means "powcrto anaLe thinp go." A fat bank, account, a rock on the edjt of a ruH, a barrel of ifunpoMfdcr, and SCOTTS EMULSION afl contain "kinetic energy." so lt professor tctls us. Power b stored up in Scott's Emulsion This force let loose in (he system of the coewanpiivc grra him the strenjtk to take on nrw flesh. It b I powerful flesh-producer. AJDraashs.1 So, mad $L00l OTnr.R I,AD THAW Ot R. Indications are that rousti sledding Is ahead for two projects In the Kngllsh llo- ersl program religious teaching In the ele mentary schools and the liquor business. Former rrcmler rtalfour. leader of the minority In the Mouse of Commons, has bitterly assailed the liberals for both rro- pos&ls and tha debate promises to wago hotly. It Is accepted that If either or both of these measures pasa the Commons they will be defeated In the House of Lords. The school measure presents the Issue as to how far money raised by taxes shall tie used to defray the expenses of re llglous teaching and to what extent shall such teaching be allowed. The bill aa In troduced by the president of the Board of Education relates only to elementary schools and proposes that schools which receive support from taxation shall be un der the control of local boards which shall offer no de-nomination tests for teachers. A bill similar In Its provisions was rejected by the lords last year and Its relntrodue tlon at the present session Is In the nature of a challenge which the lords will proba bly not be slow to take up. On the temperance plank ot the adminis tration, the liberal proposal is to cut down the number of licensed places throughout the kingdom by some 30,0)0. which on Its face appears not very difficult. It Is com plicated, however, by the fact that a liquor license has come to be looked on by its owner as a vested right with a permanent property value. The liquor business In the kingdom has grown to Immense proportions and the revenue from It Is sufficient to sup port the British navy. It Is a big under taking for the liberals and few look for success at the present session of Parlia ment. The suffragettes found rather cold com fort In the adoption by the British House of Commons In allowing the equal suffrage bill to pass the first reading by an over whelming vote. What looked like a victory for the measure paled to a defeat when, without opposition, the measure was quietly referred to a committee of the whole house, which simply means that it has been shelved for the, present session. The action simply gave the members of the house an opportunity to express their pious opinion In favor of the claims of the suffragettes without requiring them to go on record la favor of the enactment of the measure Into law. Diplomatic circles throughout the world are deeply interested In the recent maga sine article from the pen of Baron Speck von Sternberg, the German ambassador at Washington, in which he explains that Germany has no design or desire to ac quire by conquest, annexation or absorp tion either Holland or Belgium and he aleo Intimates that Germany Is not going to be aggressive in forcing its Interests In Morocco or other countries. The arti cle is accepted as Indicating a change of German policy, as It is known that Baron Sternberg Is very close in the counsels of the emperor and would not have writ ten the article without Imperial sanation. It maks a decided change, apparently, In the German policy. The German Col onlal society has been for years advocat Ing German colonisation in South Amer Sea and plans have been pressed for tho acquisition of German territory in China, the break-up of the Austrian-Hungary em pire and Germany's absorption of one' half of the dual empire, the Germanlza tton of a portion of Poland and an alll aribe between Germany, Denmark. Sweden and Norway that would check Russian aggression In those countries. All Eu rope would rest a little easier If Baron von Sternberg's announcement of the new program proves to be more than a mere diplomatic disavowal of the - former Im perial plans of colonial extension. Consul Julean H. Arnold of Tamsut writes as follows regarding the feasi bility of shipping American lumber Into Formosa: "As for the market in Formosa, I am able to state, as the result of an Inter view with one of the largest dealers hero, that there Is considerable American lum ber In use in harbor and railroad works. At present this lumber comes via Japan. That which Is In special demand is the Oregon pine girder, measuring twenty- five to thirty feet In length by one and one-half feet square. These are used In bridge and trestle work In railway con struction and repair for piles and girders In harbor improvements. Extensive har brfr Improvements in the port of Takao, South Formosa, are at present being In augurated. Harbor improvements In Kelung, North Formosa, have been In progress for several years and It will re quire four years more to complete them. That there Is considerable lumber used In these works Is attested by the fact that the dealer in question stated that his contracts for supplying such materials ranged In amounts from $5,000 to 126,000 gold from time to time. The freight rate on lumber from Japan to Kelung la $1.60 per forty cubic feet. At present this dealer pays 65 cents gold per cubic foot for lumber of the dimensions above speo- iried. In spite of the heavy bounties that have been paid to sugar growers In New South Wales, Australia (about $1,300,000 aince the fiscal year 1901), the area devoted to the cultivation of the cane crop is de creasing rather than extending. In 1906 the cane sugar area was 24,679 acres. In 1907 it was 20,601 acres, and a further decline Is expected for 190S. This fall ing off In the acreage devoted to sugar cultivation is. to a large extent, attri buted to the superior attractions of dairy farming. The International agreement for the policing of Macedonia has degenerated Into a farce. The officers appointed by the different nations for the purpose of protecting life and property and pre serving peace, however brave and effi cient they may be, have found that they have not sufficient power to carry out their plana or Instructions. Everv f- fort tliy make to suppress riots falls for lack of aupport by the Turkish troops assigned to help them. The Turkish civil nd military authorities evidently con done or encourage every act of lawless ness perpetrated against the Macedonians. The International agreement will not amount to anything until tho powera in terested back up their plans of reform with a sufficient body of troops or con stabulary to enforce the orders of the district rulers. Doesn't Mean Clararettes. Kansas City Star. The physical director of Columbia uni versity finda that among the students smokers are healthier than those who do not use tobaco. Columbia Is going tp be responsible for some more of these sprightly aged people who on their 101st birthday anniversary attribute their longevity to the fact that they have al ways drank three cupa of strong coffeo. smoked seven pipes and used snuff thirteen times a day. Severity of the Strtaareary. Washington Herald. Who can dobut that hard times are upon up, when the wife of a waiter In a well known New York restaurant compl ilns that alie la having to practice the moat rigid economy in order to keep within her weekly allowances ef M for clotbea? To the woman who fcakes, Royal is the greatest of time and labor savers. Makes home baking easy a pleasure-and a profit! MM a4 The only O&king, Pomler toade from Royal GfKpe Qre&za of Tartar With minimum trouble and cost bis cuit, cake and pastry are made fresh, clean and greatly superior to the ready made, dry. abxmdinme-Ghop variety. , A r!l; POLITICAL DRIFT. The Knox presidential boom Is not en tirely dead: It is still sending out circu lars. In the event that Uncle Joe Cannon misses it this year there will be other years and Uncle Joe Is still young. Governor Hugties. his friends figure now, will have at least 146 votes on the first bal lot in the Chicago convention. Necessary to a choice. 497. There Is an effort to prolong the discus sion of Senator J. Ds.vls' remarks suf ficiently to keep him from feeling that his lame needs another boost. Mr. Bryan has never flourished a big stick, but democracy recognises him with more or less reluctance as tho man who controls the "O. K." stamp. Governor Hughes Is reported to have Welsh, Irish, Scotch, English and Dutch blood In his veins. But, best of all, he has good American brains In his head. We can hardly keep from trembling when we think of the things that would be likely to happen to those suffragettes If the Brit ish House of Commons were run by "Uncle Joe." Speaker Cannon has been elected a mem ber of the Society for the Suppression of Unnecessary Noises. This, perhaps, will enable "Uncle Joe" to handle Mr. John Wesley Galnos even more effectively than usual. Colonel GoeUials announces that the Panama canal will bo open for business January 1, 1915. Hence it will appear to Ohio republican that even If the colonel misses It by a few months the opening Is likely to occur during Taft's second term. WEEK-END SMILES. "Tou never can tell," observed Urcle Allen Sparks, "what lasting results may be accomplished by an earnest word spoken at the right time. Many a man has had the shape of his nose changed for life by calling another man a liar." Chicago Tribune. "Did you' get any of that bargain rib bon T "Ves," answered the athletic girl proudly, "I bucked the line for seventeen yurds." Washington Herald. "They say wages are going to be reduce! all along the line." "That's too bad. Pretty soon our plumb ers' helpers won't be making any moro than a regular army officer." Life. "He is of the romantic school of poets." "What are they?" "The kind that think they have no troubles as long as they can have groceries charged." Nashville American. "Why are you clapping your hands, me good man?" asked the cook. "I was trying, madam," anawered Tor ick Handout, "to give that cup of cawfea an encore." Washington Herald. Old Lady (who had Riven the tranin a nickel) Now, what will you do with It? Hungry Hobo Waal, ye see. mum. ef I buy an auto, there ain't enough left to hire a ahofur. So I guess 111 pet a schooner. I kin handle that meaclf. Bohemian. Towne I.UHchman Is trouhled a great deal by hla wlfe'a insomnia. Hrowno I dldn t Know that before. . Towne Yes, she usually has a severe at- tack of It every night when he comes In late and then the trouble begins. tiilla delphlu Prcaa. Betty That case haan't come on yet. Isn't the law's delay maddening? C'isale (absent-mindedly) Perfectly frlpht. ful! I've been six months getting that young barrister to proiose I London Opin ion. Mr. Shvboy It's very cheerful within, but very dismal without. Miss Ketcnem witnoui wnair Mr. Shvbov Why crer without you. of course, dearest girl. Arkansas Demo crat. Ms he a great doctor?" 'Well, his patients are always at the head of the procession." Nashville Ameri can. Roa-ers There'a Gregg over there. I d like to catch hia eye. Randall Well, here! Talte my umnrein. Teacher What is the future of "I love." Lulu? Chicago Maid I divorce. The Bohemian. "How's Vas.ar fixed for ba. ball the coming season?" 'I'oorly. I hear their star pitcher has gotten the slim craze, and lost al her curves." Kansas City Journal. Harper'a Weekly. How did Jones man an his money? "Judicious speculation." "And how dd for Sprains, Bruises, Cuts andBirms,use Trial Bottle lOcta. There was never anything made that equaled Omega OH for Strains, Sprains, Brnlaea and Barns. Its powers to reduce swellings, to re lieve pala and to renoTe stUfnaas are extraordinary. Brown lose his fortune?" "Dabbling 'n stocks." Cleveland Leader. First Artist They tell me Gaybov has gone to the had. Another case of ex travagance, I suppose. Second Artist Not exactly; twins and doctor bills, I believe. Chicago News. SfHlXi IS COMING. B. B. Kiser in Chicago Record-Herald. Spring Is coming, we may know It by the willow s golden gleam. By the old familiar longing to sit down In peace to dream; Spring is coming, we may know It by the ehrieking of the Jay And the smith winds that are Mowing out of gardens far away. Spring is coming, wo may ' know It by the sunsets, warm' and ml. By the soft and gentle cooing of the doves upon the shed; Spring Is oomlng, we muy know It by the lilac's swelling bud And the yelling of tho teamster who Is driving through the mud. Spring is coming, spring Is coming, let us bravely otlng to hope. There will soon he dandelions gleaming on the distant slope; Spring Is coming, we msy know It by the loud appeals they make Who live down along the rivers when tho Ice begins to break. 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