THE OMAHA RUNT) AY KEK: FEBRUARY in. 1903.
It
Tiie Omaiia Sunday Beg
FOUNDED nT EDWARD BOSEWATTR.
VICTOR ROBEWATER. EDITOR.
Kntered at Omaiia Poatoffica a arconii
claaa matter.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Pally Ba (without Sunday), one year..M0
Dallr Bee and Sunday, one year 100
Sunday Bee, one year.... 1.50
Saturday Bee, ona year 1M
DELIVERED BT CARRIER:
Dally Bee (Including Sunday), per week..ir,c
Dally Be (without Sunday), per week..lOo
Evening Bee (wlthuut Bunday), pet Weak 60
Evening Bee (with Sunday. per week, 10c
Address all eomplainta of lrregularltlo
In delivery to City circulation Department
OFFICES.
Omaha The Bm Bulldln.
South Omaha City Hall Building.
Council Bluff 1R Scott Street.
Chicago 140 tTnlveralty Building.
New Tork 160 Home Life Inauranoe
Building.
Washington 725 Fourteenth Street N. W.
, CORRESPONDENCE.
Communication relating to newa and edi
torial matter should be addreascd, Omaha
Bee, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, eipress or postal order
payable to The Bee Publishing Company.
Only t-cent atampa received In payment of
mail acoounU. personal checks, except on
Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
Etata of Nebraska, Douglas County, .!
George B. TtnctMvk, treasurer of The
Bee Publishing Company, being duly sworn,
says that the actual number ot lull and
complete coplea of The Dally, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during
the montb of January, 10S, waa a fol
lows
1 88,800
1..' 36,120
17.. 36,300
ll....- 38,160
It 36,400
20 36,660
II.... 36,410
12.... k 36,140
21 36,350
24 36,460
45 36,640
It 36,100
27 36,140
SI 37,130
29 38,060
10 38,830
11 36,860
S 36,380
4 38,400
1 80,300
96,340
T 38,600
I..... 38190
38,380
t 38,410
11 86,380
11 36,150
11 38,430
14 36,880
ll......... 36,300
It 88,100
Totals 1,133,830
Leas unsold and returned coplea.
8,450
Net total 1,114,840
Dally average. 35,963
OEORQE B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
bafora ma this 1st day of February, 1908.
ROBERT HUNTER,
Notary Public.
WHEW OUT OF TOWIf.
Subarrtbere leaving the city tem
porarily ahoald have The Be
mailed to thrm. Address will be
chaaiaied mm Item mu requested.
Aa a prophet, the ground hog is a
bird.
It would be interesting to know
what District Attorney Jerome doeB
between Thaw trials.
"Tariff revision must wait." says
Speaker Cannon. T. Revision is one
of veterans among waiters.
Abe Ruef declares that he kept faith
With hi friends. Apparently he also
kept about everything else he got hold
of.
James J. Hill declares that It is time
"to stop the ghost dancing." Perhaps,
but It is hoped the ghost will not stop
walking. '
'
The government is punishing, men
who refill whisky bottles. The men
who empty them accomplish their own
punishment.
The report from Chicago that there
is an epidemic of thefts in Pullman
cars may be new to people who do not
travel in them.
Senator Aldrlch says it 1b either his
bill or no financial legislation at this
session. The alternative is apparently
gaining popularity.
San Francisco has started work on a
new union depot to cost $20,000,000.
Kansas City's new union depot Is still
In the blue print stage.
"Has Mr. Bryan any sound argu
ments to support his conviction of
democratic success this year?" asks the
Brooklyn Eagle. Certainly. Mr.
Bryan'a arguments are all sound.
Not being vegetarians, John W.
Oates and his son, Charles G., have de
cided to keep away from New York un
til Wall street is able again to furnish
Ha regular rations of lamb meat.
. An eminent doctor In one of the de
partments at Washington declares that
10.000,000,000 microbes are every
moment feasting on every human
frame. It you don't believe it,
count 'em.
A California judge has decided that
It is not Incumbent upon a pedestrian
to keep out of the way of an automo
bile. Perhaps not, but the average
pedestrian thinks more ot his life than
he does of his legal rights.
Explaining how he happened to ex
change his lariat temporarily fur a
quill. Mayor "Jim" says, "I will prom
ise I will never, try It again." Now, if
Mayor "Jim" will only maJte some
mor promises like that
A statistician figures out that it
takes a ton of coal an hour to heat the
house and senate chambers at Wash
ington. Too bad they cannot devise
some way ot utilising congressional
hot air for heating purposes.
The due d Chaulnes, In getting a
llcepja to marry Miss Shonts, swore
that he had no occupation. Ot course
he could not be Jailed for vagrancy, as
the marriage ceremony will prove that
be has visible means of support.
. New. York courts have held that
railroads must respect the "This side
up" inscription on boxes and parcels.
Let the good work go on until the pos
tal officials pay some attention to the
"la Haste" adnionlUoa ou envelopes.
KOSflf VtLT AND TATT.
There Is no Question that Theodore
Roosevelt Is the most pppular man In
American public life.
There Is no question, either, that If
he were an outspoken candidate for
renomlnatlon and re-election, or even
a receptive candidate, the republicans
of Nebraska and of every other state
in the union, with not more than two
or three exceptions, would be almost
unanimously for him.
But Mr. Roosevelt has not only re
fused to stand as a candidate for re
election, but has In positive terms de
clared that he Is not a candidate and
will not become a candidate and would
not accept a nomination if gWen.
Under these circumstances and foe
the very reason that they want the dis
tinctive Roosevelt policies carried out
in full vigor by his successor, the true
friends of President Roosevelt have, In
unison with him, turned to Secretary
Taft as the logical standard bearer for
1908.
It goes without saying that Mr. Taft
would not be a candidate If Mr. Roose
velt were a candidate. Being part and
parcel of the same administration, Mr.
Taft could not In decency and would
not seek a nomination desired by the
president In whose cabinet he is serv
ing and in whose closest confidence he
must be.
Mr. Taft and Mr. Roosevelt rep
resent the same element of the party.
They have been identified In the same
work, and an administration 'under Mr.
Taft would be more nearly a continua
tion of the admlnstratlon of Mr. Roose
velt than an administration under any
other man. .
It is plain that only beeauBe of the
president's declared purpose not to
serve as president after the expiration
of his present term, and because the
sincerity of that declaration is not open
to suspicion, Mr. Taft has consented to
become a candidate for the republican
nomination. If the friends of Mr.
Roosevelt, still clinging to the notion
that they can force him to run again.
considered their own actions seriously
they would realize that their own sin
cerity Is impugned by their insistence
that the president does no mean what
he says, or is playing for a nomination
for which he is urging another.
Just as the president was tremen
dously pleased last year that the re-j
publicans of Nebraska took him at hlB
word and declared In their platform.
after endorsing his policies, that Mr.
Taft Is "pre-eminently the man under
whose leadership these policies would
be perpetuated," so he will bo even
more pleased to have the republicans
of Nebraska true to Mr. Taft and give
him their support this year in conven
tion and election.
OKLAHOMA TO TUB FORK.
A member ot the, Oklahoma legisla
ture has discovered something not cov
ered by that fearfully and wonderfully
made constitution adopted by the new
Btate and has promptly set' about to
remedy the defect. He has offered a
bill, which the house has passed with
a whoop, providing . that every hotel
shall furnish its beds with sheets not
less than nine feet long and, with ref
erence to dining room furnishings,
that "no cup, dish, vessel or receptacle
for food shall have cracks visible to
the naked eye." The reports state
that the senate will undoubtedly pass
the measure as it comes from the
bouse, perhaps amending It bo that the
wash room towel shall be changed at
least every Saturday night and the
common guest comb be sent to the bar
ber once a month, at least while the
legislature is in session.
While this measure may be looked
upon as' a joke in some centers of a
more effete civilization, it is a very
serious matter in Oklahoma. Men
run to legs a good deal in that country,
Instead of to waist measurement, and
there is a real demand tor sheets long
enough to cover the lanky guest and
protect' him against both bronchitis
and chilblains. Then, some of the
more fastidious insist that they want
plenty of linen to wrap around their
spurs and still leave a few extra feet
to tuck in on cold nights. The demand
for uncracked china Is equally well
based. The Oklahomans are paying
more attention to their personal ap
pearance since they became citizens ot
a state and nothing is more annoying
to a man who has put on his "biled"
garment before dinner -even if they
do still call it "supper" only to find
that a leaky saucer has allowed bis
coffee to leave tracks on his freshly
laundered shirt front. The Oklaho
mans know their rights and are deter
mined to insist upon them.
RAILROADS AXD THE LAW.
Railroad managers of the country
are making a determined effort to se
cure a postponement of the operation
of the law which provides that no era
Hoye who handles train orders either
by telegraph or telephone shall be on
duty more than nine hours out of the
twenty-four at offices operated night
and 'day. or more than thirteen hours
at offices operated during the day time
only. The law Is to go Into effect on
March t, next, and a number of rail
road officials are asking President
Roosevelt for an extension of time,
asserting that It is impossible to secure
enough telegraph operators to comply.
The presldeut has referred the request
to the Interstate Commerce commis
sion, which has given the railway man
agers three weeks to present their
arguments. 1
In this cass the railways are trying
the same tactics they used so success
fully to secure a suspension of the saf
ety appliance law. They succeeded In
deferring Enforcement ot this law for
a halt-docen years, alleging their la-
ability to secure suitable signal devices
and the Impossibility of securing uni
formity among railroads in brakes,
cbuples and other safety appliances.
In the meantime, the accidents to pas
sengers and employes on railroads,
which the law was designed to prevent,
have continued with no sign of de
crease, and the nine-hour law was
passed as a result of the showing that
many of these accidents were directly
traceable to overworked operators and
dispatchers, who had, as a result, neg
lected their duties. The plea ot the
railroads for an extension of the time,
therefore, must be regarded as nothing
less than a request to continue the old
causes of so many disastrous accidents,
imperiling the lives of travelers. Some
encouragement, however, is held out in
this statement of the Interstate Com
merce commission: ,
The power to extend under this proviso
Is extremely limited. We are therefore of
the opinion, without deciding more defin
itely In advance"" of "full hearing-' upon
such applications as may be made, that
"good cause" for extension la not shown
when H is merely made to appear that the
law ought not to be enforced at certain
stations because the number of train orders
handled la small and there Ih no need of
Increasing the force of employes. Neither
would It be good cause to show that addi
tional operatoia cannot be obtained at the
wages now or heretofore offered. If It ap
pears reasonably certain that higher wages
would procure the requisite number.
CONDITIONAL PARDONS.
As editor for a day of the local pub
lication known as "The Chancellor,"
Mayor Dahlman, In apparent extenua
tion of his profuse pardoning of police
court prisoners, makes a suggestion of
conditional pardons for petty offenders
which is worthy of serious considera
tion. The mayor insists that most of
the police court prisoners are up for
minor offenses, such as drunks, va
grants, quarrels between man and wife,
and "what these poor devils have done
is nothing but abuse themselves, for
which they must stay in jails such as
our county and city afford, crowded ail
the time." As a remedy, he proposes
the law be changed "whereby the po
lice judge could pass a conditional
sentence or the mayor could issue a
conditional pardon dependent upon the
good or bad behavior of the one par
doned." Mayor Dahlman's plan of relief li
practically an adaptation of the parole
law to police court offenders committed
to the city or .county jail, similar to
the power of parole lodged In the gov
ernor with reference to penitentiary
convicts. . If the conditional pardon
given to the mayor were hedged about
with proper safeguards to prevent
overdoing and . to insure against its
corrupt use, It would, no doubt, be a
desirable Improvement over ,the exist
ing system. These conditions should
restrict the conditional pardon to first
offenders, making' the condition a
promise not to violate the law again
and a second offense should entail
punishment without possibility of par
don, either conditionally or uncondi
tionally. The conditional pardon should also
be reserved for the benefit of offenders
who are really Identified with the com
munity rather than for transients who
come here to prey upon our people.
Nothing but good stiff, hard labor sen
tences will quarantine the town against
vagrants and keep the hoboes moving
around the city. Above all, the law
should be fixed so that the machinery
of the police court cannot be used to
persecute some poor unfortunate in
order to hit through him at some one
else. The mayor ought to have the
power of unconditional pardon' for all
clear cases of mallciouB prosecution.
PAY OF AMERICAN DIPLOMATS.
With administration leaders In both
branches ot congress urging the strict
est economy in the matter of appropri
ations, there is slight prospect that
congress will consider favorably the
recommendations of Secretary Root for
liberal appropriations to build resi
dences lnVorelgn capitals for use of
American diplomats and consular
agents, and for a fund to be used by
diplomats and other officers of the
government in entertaining guests of
other countries. The recommendations
will probably be discussed with the ef
fect of giving the American people and
congress some Interesting information
on conditions abroad which make
diplomatic and consular life unattrac
tive except to men with long purses.
Americans are prone to smile or
sneer at the elaborate receptions In the
courts of Europe and at the participa
tion of America's representatives in
such functions, contrasting these af
fairs with the times when Ben Frank
lin and James Madison represented this.
country in Europe and refused t6 take
part In such functions. But times have
changed, however. Compared with
those of other countries,' the pay 'of
American ministers Is small, although
they are royally entertained at their
foreign posts and must do a great deal
of entertaining in return or be dis
credited socially. This formal social
life Is as much a Dart of the official
duty ot the European diplomat as any
act connected with his posltipn. As a
result It has become our custom, al
most necessary, to appoint only very
rich men to diplomatic positions at
European capitals. Ambassador Reid,
for Instance, pays more each year for
rent of his London residence than his
salary would amount to for a four
years' term. In the diplomatic service
many ministers and consuls are com
pelled to live in boarding houses or in
cheap-residences, or pay out of their
own pockets the money necessary to
place them In the same rank with the
representatives of other countries.
Secretary Root's recommendation of
a fund ot $225,000 a year for consuls
and others to use as an entertainment
fund Is backed by an argument fresh
in the public mind. On their way to
the Tarlflc, Admiral Evans and Ms
officers have .received courtesies from
the governments of most of the South
American countries. These courtesies
must be returned or make America
seera mean before the world, and the
bills for the return entertainments
have been paid out of the pockets of
Admiral Evans and his fellow officers.
The Issue raised by Secretary Root's
recommendations is more than social.
ABOVT QIQOLlXn OIRLS.
What solemn owls they must be in
Philadelphia, anyway. Officials of the
Rapid Transit company, of that city
complain that the unrestrained hilarity
of the high, school girls in the street
cars is demoralizing the service, mak
ing fools of some of the conductors
and annoying and distressing elderly
passengers. The complaint Is made to
the school authorities and the principal
of one of the high schools is reported
to have cautioned the girls to be more
sedate. This would be provocation to
cause one to break out laughing, if it
were not for tear of shocking some
staid citizen of Philadclpha.
Happily, however, no dyspeptic com
plaint from a nervous traction official
nor word of caution from a bespec
tacled teacher can check the super
abundant spirits of the average Amer
ican high school girl. Rich in health,
rosy In the very joy of living, her effer
vescent Bpirits will continue to bubble
over, In the natural relaxation which
comes before and after confinement in
the school room, and street car patrons
who cannot enjoy her laughter ought
to get out and walk. Let her laugh
while she may. There Is plenty of
time for tears later.
HELPING THE FARM SB'S WIFE.
New York state has taken the' lead
In a movement that . should be ex
tended to every , state in the union.
The aim is to improve the domestic
conditions of the farmer and his fam
ily, with particular reference to light
ening the burdens of the farmer's wife.
Great progress has been made in Im
proving agricultural life and condl
dltions in the last decade. The men
and boys of the farm have attended
the farmers' institutes and the short
term courses of instruction at the ex
periment stations. The girls have
been sent to town "to school and have
had advantages and education as good
as those of their sisters in the city.
Millions have been spent ; on fancy
stock, in improved seed and other
millions In labor-saving machinery for
use of the men, but the patient farm
er's wife, the hardest-worked person
on the farm, has been allowed to go
along in" the old way. bearing most of
the burdens of the family and sharing
few of its Joys.
But tow the legislature, of New
Tfork has appropriated $5,000 to en
courage the work of organizing
women's institutes throughout the
farming districts of the 'state. More
than forty clubs, composed entirely of
the wives of farmers, have already
been organized, and it Is proposed to
carry the organization Into every
county, with a general plan for ex
tending It to other states and giving
the organization a national scope. In
these clubs helpful lectures will be de
livered and the views ot members ex
changed on such practical matters its
economies of labor and food, the main
tenance of sanitary conditions, care of
the sick, first aid to the injured, gar
den making and house -decoration.
Much has been written about plans
for keeping the boys on the farm. In
a recent address President Roosevelt
asserted that the nation must look to
the boys and girls now growing up on
the farms for its most virile and valua
ble material for citizenship in the
years to come. Theorists and practical
men havedlscussed plans for making
farm life more attractive for the boys
and girls, but none of the plans sug
gested hold so much prospect of suc
cess as that of broadening the life of
the farmer's wife, who, after all, as the
mother of the boys and girls, exerts
the all-powerful Influence over them.
The transfer of Rev. M. P. Dowling
from the headship of Crelghton univer
sity will be regretted greatly by the
friends of that Institution In Omaha,
not only because of the commanding
personality of Father Dowling, but also
because of the remarkable progress
which the university has made under
his direction. We must all realize,
however, that Father Dowling has been
kept In charge of Crelghton university
much longer than is customary in the
administration of institutions managed
by the Society of Jesus, and that we
have been especially favored by having
him with us so long. It need hardly
be said that he will leave Omaha with
the best wishes of the ejitlre com
munity for his success In other fields
and with the hope that some day he
may return to continue his work among
us.
Mr. Bryan's Commoner is sure that
Governor Johnson of Minnesota Is not
the man for the democrats to nominate
for president, but It would not object
so seriously to htm as a candidate for
vice president, even though that would
put him in line under certain con
tingencies to occupy the executive
chair. In Its view. Governor Johnson
would be all right to help draw the
democratic chariot, provided he were
willing to pull tandem and let Colonel
Bryan be the lead horse.
Mr. Bryan and Mr. Hearst are de
bating with one another as to which
et them first proposed to make, our
currency more elastic by direct loans
of treasury notes on security furnished
by the national banks. That old green
backer. General James B, Weaver,
could probably prove fo any one's satls
factlon that he was cultivating the
germ of this seed forty years ago, when
he was arguing that all the govern
ment had to do to pay Its debts was to
hand out its I. O. U's.
M. Tardleu, a French professor now
lecturing at Harvard, says war be
tween Japan and this country is inev
itable and that he cannot predict peace
for more than three months. Well,
by that time the country will be In the
throes ot a political campaign and will
not be disturbed by so trivial an affair
as a war with Japan.
New York wholesalers report that
"an unusually large number of mer
chants from the west are In New York
making their purchases for the spring
trade." New York cannpt get over
its surprise because the west refuses
to borrow either money or trouble.
Employes lu the Westlnghouse plant
raised $1,000 to entertain their fore
men at a banquet. The foremen
vetoed the banquet and asked that, the
$1,000 be given to the families of the
men out of work. That 1b real char
ity, although the brand is rare.
A French scientist asserts that per
sons who rise immediately upon wak
ing from sleep are subject to many ail
ments, including madness. Yes, and
the- person who does not rise that way
Is subject to being docked for being
late at the office.
There are indications that some
other aspirants will soon be following
the example of Senator La Follette by
announcing that they have no hope of
being nominated this year, but are
working with one eye to their chances
in 1912.
Affectionate Gentleness.
Washington Post.
Why Is It that when a man suffering
from heart disease Inherits a large sura
of money his relatives break the news to
him as suddenly as possible?
9 t Llarht Breaking; In.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Five thousand tubemakera have returned
to work In Cleveland. Their employers have
probably decided that it wasn't Roosevelt,
after all, who tied up business.
Big; Work for Strong; Main.
' Louisville Herald.
Only a strong man can follow Roosevelt
now. The people will have no other, and
his task la set for him In such broad pro
portions and with such sweeping circum
stances that he may well hesitate upon its
threshhold.
The Real Difference.
. Pittsburg Dispatch.
After all, the Issue la that President
Roosevelt thinks the United States ought
to control the great corporations. Ilia op
ponents think the great corporatlona ought
to control the United States, and are angty
because they cannot control even the pres
ident. A Temporary Makeshift.
Philadelphia Record.
The strongest argument Senator Aldrlch
makes for his curreney bill la that It is
a temporary makeshift to give the country
a safe financial standing place until meas
ures of real and permanent reform can be
considered and adopted. He declares that It
will not block the way to suitable and sub
stantial currency reform.
CIRIOUS COHJI FACTS.
What a Utile Improvement In Col
tare of the Cereal Means.
Saturday Evening Post.
Few people realise what even a little
Improvement In corn culture means.
During 1906 the United Slates grew
95,000,000 acres of corn. This area pro
duced 2,880,000,000 bushels of corn, worth
in round numbers $1,300,000,000. By sim
ply adding one kernel to each ear you
add $1,620,000 to the returns from the
area producing corn.
This Increase Is infinitesimal in itself
and very few farmers who have adopted
Improved methods, or used pure-bred
seed will admit that less than two to
three bUBhels per acre can be secured.
Figure a little further. Aa stated above,
in 1906 the corn crop covered 90,000,000
acres. By Increasing the yield one bunhel
to the acre, and figuring this at 45 cents
a bushel, the total value of the corn crop
Is Increased $42,750,000; by Increasing the
yield two bUHhels, $86,500,000; three bUBh
els, $128,250,000; four bushels, $171,000,-
000; five bushels, the atupendoua sum or
$218,760,000.
The economic possibilities ot the corn
plant are almost unlimited. At the Na
tional Corn exposition whlcn waa neia in
Chicago, October 5 to 19, 1907, one of the
most interesting exhibits was that of
household articles made from corn. This
consisted of rugs, portiere, table covers,
mats, picture frames, etc., made from the
corn plant.
More than 600,000 acres of unproductive
swamp land within a radius of S00 miles
of Chicago can be made great cornfields;
first by drainage, and, second, by the
application of potash or phosphorous or
both. The first-named clement Is usually
the one munt needed and can be applied
at a comparatively amau robi. mui
these waste areas will eventually become
great cornfields Is almost certain. True,
they will grow truck crops, but any con
siderable Increase in the area devoted to
truck will render the business unprofit
able by glutting the market. The ever-
Increasing demand for corn will absorb
almost any extra area witho.it any ap
preciable effect upon the market. Land
which now grow nothing can, at a cost
of a few dollars per acre be made to pro
duce annual crop of from ulxty to eighty
bushels per acre. This has been defi
nitely demonstrated during the iast few
years by at least three experiment sta
tions in the middle west and hundreds of
practical farmers.
About ona-third of all the land under
cultivation In the United State is de
voted to corn. It rs grown on K0 per
cent of all the farms In the country. It
Is worth more than two and one-half
tlmea the wheat crop the grain second In
importance.
No grain lends Itself so readily to scien
tific Investigation and improvement aa
does corn. About twelve year ago the
agricultural experiment stations began to
appreciate this, and today no study Is
as popular aa the study of corn. Almost
every state haa Its corn growers' associa
tions, a few have corn breeders associa
tions, and al the corn states have annual
corn schools, annual judging contests and
ischoola of Instruction for expert judge.
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H. J. Penfold & Co.
Leading Opticians 1408 Farnam Street
EHMO noil, ED DOWN.
The greatest gain In any life Is the loss
of greed.
Greatness never was bought by the sale
of goodness.
There can be no right manners without
right motives.
No church can be cleaned properly by
soft soaping the saints.
He who haa no time to get ready la
never ready at any time.
A man Is worth what he gives the
world, not what he gets from It.
Half the friction of life comes from
having our tongues .too well oiled. '
Envy la the habit of losing our own
happiness while longing for another's.
The sermons that do most effective
work in this world are those on two legs.
The lines of eternal grace In any charac
ter have to be cut with extremely shuip
tools.
There Is no promise of a crown of right
eousness for proficiency In regulating
your neighbors.
A good life is Impossible until one
knows that there Is ever something more
desirable than living.
You cannot cancel the custom of prey
ing on your fellows by occasional praying
to your Father above.
Locking the heart against the drafts of
sympathy Is the swiftest way of Im
poverishing the whole life. Chicago
Tribune.
PEnSOXAl, AND OTHERWISE."
'General" J. 8. Coxey, ot hobo army
fame, shows signs of returning to life.
Up in Winnipeg, Sabbath marriages come
under the law prohibiting work on Sun
days. '
Bachelors who received leap year pro
posals In the form of valentines are need
lessly secretive. You can spot 'em a block.
The Due de Chaulnes fiddled his way to
the heart of Papa Shonts and Theodora is
happy. Let not the story of Mme. Anna
Gould mar the coming festivities."
Of all the obituaries of the late Judge
Hargls of Breathitt county, Kentucky, not
one that has come' to notice bears the
hoary old chunk of pathos, "He died be
fore- hi time,"
Franco, the receding Portuguese premier,
has had as warm an experience on the
toboggan as the miner who slid down the
side of Pike's peak squatted on the "bosom
of a scoop shovel.
California is looking about for a bunch
of money and has tackled the rebate bu
reau of the Southern Pacific railroad. Four
thousand cases of rebating have been put
up to the State Railroad commission. If
they are made to stick the maximum fine
In each case would pile a total of $s0,000,000,
and put the Standard Oil fine on the bar
gain counter.
To celebrate the corporate union of Pitts
burg and Allegheny, the Chamber of Com
merce of the united city has Issued an Im
posing pictorial and statistical boost for
what the authors proudly designate, "Pitts
burgh the Powerful," In which the dis
credited "h" looms up like the chair of a
potentate In a lodge room. "Fourth In
manufactures, second in banking capital,
Clrst in tonniige," are the three classes of
the boosters. Kqually Impressive and
unique are companion picture of the city
with fires and fires burning, exhibiting
the smoky atmosphere for which Pittsburg
Is famous.
BOGl'S OLD WOULD FOHTCINES.
Still Credulous American Are Regu
larly Taken la.
Lesljo' Weekly.
A much reeded warning Is Issued by
United States Consul General Wvnne, of
London, against the swindling operations
of a class of English lawyers who Induce
Americans to believe that Ihey are heirs
to large properties In England which are
being administered by the government.
How hopeless the effort of these heirs to
secure these old World fortunes are may
lie seen from Mr. Wynne's statement that
"In the hunt for mythical fortunes I have
found absolutely nothing, and my predeces
sors for forty years have not been able
to substantiate a Blnple claim for property
by American helra who offered to prove
their descent from a branch of some Brit
ish family." This credulity on the part
of Americans la on a par with the plrlt
of snobbery which makes American par
ent welcome aa suitors for their daugh
ter all comer from the other lde of the
'Atlantic who can show thein any creden
tials, whether forged or real, as hearers
of Europeun titles. Both characteristics
are a reproach to the public.
THE GREAT AMERICAN HOME PIANO
The Kimball mS?E
There you have It in u nut3hell
Made In the finest American factory, the Kimball la a typical
American product.
Found In thousands of homes all over the country, the Kim
ball Is a typical home piano.
Sold at a moderate price (on partial payments If desired), the
Kimball is within the reach of pearly every family.
From the very beginning, the founders and builders of the
Kimball have aimed high.
. The piano has pushed hard the leaders for first place, even
though its cost does not nearly teach the maximum price In up
right pianos.
What the dreams of the Kimball people are for the future.
whether they expect to go up, up, as they have been going, and some
day manufacture the leader of all pianos, we do not know.
but this we do know, the Kiniballs we have been getting late
ly from the factory (and we have a full supply now) are even better
than they have ever been. ' '..
The Kimball star Is still rising. We sell a new Kimball for
1300. Pay 18.00 monthly.
It you cannot call, send for catalogue and prices.
A. HOSPE CO.
1513 DOUGLAS STREET.
Branch Houses Council Bluffs, Iowai Lincoln, Neb.j Kearney, XrtV ,
HS
., ..d-:tvt .vvST
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"I don't see," remarked Mis Gaddlc,
"why she should go and marry that old
man for his money.''
"Whv," asked Miss Oldday, "how else
could she get It?" Philadelphia Presa
"When that curious Mrs. Gadabout sighed
sentimentally that she wan but a withered
plant in the rosebud garden of girls, why
did you tell her she was an evergreen?"
"Well, Isn't she a rubber plant?" Haiti
more American.
Prudent Mamma Dora, haa that young
man who comes to ee you any visible
mean of support?
Miss Dora They're not much more than
visible, mamma, but he can't help being
slender, can he? Chicago Tribune.
"Rev. Mr. Gasklt Is an eloquent talker.
Isn't he?"
"Well, If you think that he can talk you
ought to hear his prnyers! The Inst time
he offered up an Invocation In congress
they gave him three cheers and a tiger."
Cleveland Leader.
"La' night.;' said Count Nottacenta, "I
geeve da leetla heent to Mees Rnxley flat
1 would like she should marry weeth me."
"And did she give you any encourage
ment?" asked his American friend.
"1 donta know. She Justa say to me:
'W'nt kinda da nerve food you use?' "
Philadelphia Press.
Toss She had the nerve to tell me some
professor had told her her voice was very
good.
Jess Well, .you can never tell; things ara
sometimes deceptive.
Tess What are you talking about?
Jess Why her voice may renlty be better
than It souVd.--Phlladelphla Press.
Mrs. Parkway It must he lonpsnmp when
your husband has to make one of his long
canvassing trips and !e away from home
for a week or more.
Mrs. Nexblok Yes; but Harry Is real
thoughtful. He has tnuirht the parrot to
use Just the kind of languaRe he use
when he' about the house himself. Chi
cago Tribune
GIVE I S M EN.
Bishop of Exeter.
Give us men!
Men from every rank,
Fresh and free and frank;
Men of thought and reading,
Men of light and leading,
Men of loyal breeding,
The nation's welfare speeding;
Men of faith and not of fiction,
Men of lofty aim In action;
'Give us men I say. again.
Give us men!
Give us men!
Strong and stalwart ones:
Men whom highest hope Inspires,
Men whom purest honor fire.
Men who trample snlf beneath them, '
Men who make their country wreath than
As lta noble sons.
Worthy of their sires.
Men who never shame their mother.
Men who never fall their brothers;
True, however false are others;
Give us men I say again,
( Give us men!
Give us men!
Men who, when the tempest gathers.
Grasp tli- standard of their fathers
In the thickest fight;
Men who strike for home and altar,
(Let the coward cringe nml falter),
God defend the right!
True as truth though lorn and lonely,
Tender, aa the brave are only;
MPn who tread where saints have trod.
Men for country home and God;
Give us men! I say again again.
Give us such men!
"
Wearing the
u Wrong Glass
May prove more injurious to your
eyes than wearing none at all. Not
every man who calls himself an
OCULIST
1PTICIAIV
is competent to fit spectacles.
We show you and explain to you
why we are right, and guarantiee
results.
NO C II A HUE VOll TESTS
HUTESOil OPTICAL GO.
EXCLUSIVE OPTICIANS
213 South Sixteenth Street.
Factory on the premises.