THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: SEPTEMBER 15, 1907.
Tile Omaha Sunday Bek.
FOUNDED lir LDWARU ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha Postofllce as second
class matter.
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l'illr Be (without Sunday), per week..lOo
Evening Bee (without Sunday), per week c
Evening Bee (with Sunday;, per week.. .100
Address all complaints of Irregularities In
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' STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas county, s:
George B. Tischu'k, treasurer of The
Bee Publishing Company, being duly
sworn, says that the actual number of
full and complete coplei of The Dally
Morning, Evening and Sunday Bee prlntel
during the month of August, 107, was as
follows:
X 36,750 17 ,840
X 86,940 1 8 88,800
t 87,040 It 87 130
4 35,900 20 87,000
1 37,440 l 36.640
36,830 12 36,390
t 86,700 23 36,960
1 80,880 24 36,950
t 36,660 2$ 36,600
10 36,820 26 38,780
11 35,650 27 30,880
13 37,340 21 86 460
13 37,110 2 36,500
14 36,700 80 86,640
It 36,770 81 36,140
1 36,850
Total 1,138,330
Less unsold and returned copies. 11,346
Net total 1,126,374
Dally average 36,354
GEO. B. TZdCHUCK,
. Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before me this Slst day of August, 1907.
(Seal) U. B. HUNG ATE,
Notary Public
WHEN OUT OK TOWN.
Bnbscrlbrrs leaving the city tern
porarlly should haw) The) Dm
mailed to them. Address will be
changed aa often aa requested.
As to Senator Foraker, be Is Btlll
playing political solitaire.
"What's tlie score?" will booh be
transferred from the diamond to the
gridiron.
All this talk about Belling the Phil
ippines ig wasted breath, bo long as
no customer Is in sight.
Mr. Bryan may call Mr. Taft "the
Great Postponer," but the title really
belongs to Walter Wellman.
SU11. those Hindus la Washington
have not been treated much more se
verely than they were-ttt home. '
' Washington advices Indicate that
the Department of Justice is still de
termined to nail the Lumber trust.
An English Journal criticises Mark
Twain for his "flippancy." The Eng
lish still insist upon having serious
humor. -
Secretary Taft says there are too
many millionaires. Most people think
too many of the other fellows are mil
lionaires. Delaware proposes to increase its
revenues by taxing tombstones. Del
aware authorities have a weakness for
grave problems.
Our Nebraska railroads are not so
cock-sure that they want to fight every
act of regulation by the state as they
were a week ago.
A New York man has applied for a
divorce because his wife insists upon
wearing decollete dress. In a word,
he hopes to win by a neck.
. New Englanders have named a cave
.vpurgutory" because no one can enter
it. This does not agree with the ac
cepted notion of purgatory.
If Mr. liarriman will tell his Wall
street associates all about what he saw
In the west he may at least in part
allay their fears of impending calamity.
An organization known as "The
Searchers After the Perfect Life" has
been formed in Chicago. For obvious
reasons its work will be outside cf
Chicago.
"The upper berths are just as com
fortable and desirable as the lower,"
says a Pullman official. - Did rou ever
see a Pullman official selecting an up
per berth T
Fortunately the dates arranged for
President Roosevelt's western tour
bring him In and out of St. Louis with
out endangering the stability of the
Sunday lid.
It is said that President Roosevelt's
message to the next congress will be
the longest he has ever written. He
need have no fear it will not be read,
however long.
Judge Parker explains that he haa
not said he would refuse the demo
cratic nomination for the presidency.
He simply holds that it Is some other
man's turn to take the beating.
While the State Railway commission
la reducing rates on grain. It la not a
good time for it to consider raising
rates on cream or on any other staple
article of transportation. If any
changes are to' be made in existing
freight schedules, they should go down
ward and not upward.
RUXNIXQ tTlLD On PLATO ROO DS.
While we know that the people of
Omaha are Just now blindly enamored
of Juvenile courts, detention homes,
child labor laws, children's play
grounds and everything that appeals
to them In the name of the children,
The Bee deems It its duty to enter
protest against the scheme to vote
1 60,000 of park bonds to be used to
purchase public playgrounds in vari
ous parts of the city.
Members of the Park board seem
to be at variance as to whether these
proposed playgrounds should be ac
quired out of the proceeds of bonds
chargeable against the taxpayers of
the whole city, or whether the cost
should be assessed back to the prop
erty In the vicinity deriving direct
benefits from such Improvements, the
same as has been the practice with
reference to new parks. Irrespective
of the Incentive which the voting of
these bonds would give to real estate
deals In which the city would get the
worst of It, The Bee sees no reason
whatever for Inaugurating the plan.
In the first place, the champions of
children's playgrounds shut their eyes
to the difference between Omaha and
eastern cities which they want to imi
tate. New York, Philadelphia, Boa
ton and Baltimore are built up solidly
with narrow streets which leave no
room for healthy exercise by children.
Omaha, on the other hand, Is one vast
playground with wide streets, de
tached dwellings, front yards, back
yards and vacant lots within the reach
of every child.
In eastern cities the public schools
are hemmad in between big buildings
with nothing but a narrow brick-paved
courtyard for the children to turn
around In. In Omaha we have nearly
forty public schools, with commodious
yards attached to each of them, fur
nishing ample playground for all the
children in attendance. If some of
these school yards need enlargement,
that would be an easy matter, but
there is no good reason why they
should not serve as playgrounds all
the year round as well as during the
months the schools are open.
Furthermore, Omaha has a number
of well located parks, a corner of
which Could easily be used for sum
mer playgrounds if the school yard
playgrounds needs augmenting in hot
weather. To invest $50,000 or any
other large sum In public playgrounds
in a city like Omaha on which returns
could be had for only a small part of
the year would be a waste and an ex
travagance absolutely unjustifiable
when so many more necessary public
improvements are imperatively needed,
v The time may come when public
playgrounds In the congested parts of
our city will be desirable, but that is
yet' ten' or twenty years ahead, and
that emergency will be taken care of
when It arises. .
THE POST CARD CRAZE
The souvenir postcard, which at
one time was looked upon as an un
mitigated nuisance, now promises to
be a blessing, bo far as the Postofllce
department of the government is con
cerned. The growth of the souvenir
card mania has been so rapid that
postal officials are already figuring
upon it to do away with the annual
postal deficit. The souvenir postcard
was of French origin and was devel
oped In Germany, but its use has be
come bo universal that it has become
accepted as a fixed part of the system
of communication. It has Bupplanted
the long-winded letters formerly writ
ten by travelers and enabled them at
less expense of time and money to give
their friends a more Instructive idea
of what they are seeing.
Some idea of the use of the postcard
is furnished by newly completed statis
tics. At the New York postoffice, the
dally average of domestic postcards re
ceived for distribution outside of New
York is 80,000, while the carriers in
New York City distribute dally an
average of 160,000 of these souvenirs,
25,000 of them coming from foreign
lands. One steamship alone brought
65,000 souvenir cards in its mails to
the United States. 0
Officials of the Postoffice department
at Washington state that the use of
these souvenirs has increased 60 per
cent during the three months of sum
mer travel and that it Is already some
thing of a burden to handle the dally
receipts. The government, however,
Is encouraging the use of the souvenir
postcard as a business getter by a re
cent order permitting messages to be
written on the left half of the address
side. Every city and village In the
nation has a souvenir card and the
recipient is never at a loss to get some
thing suitable to send in return. The
government's Interest In the develop
ment of the fad arises from the fact
the postage on a pound of souvenir
cards is about 40 cents, as against a
nominal cost of transporting them, so
the more the fad grows the smaller be
comes the annual postal deficit.
While originally the souvenir post
card was a mere pleasantry, the world
Is becoming educated, through Its use,
about places it never thought of be
fore, simply because everybody sends
pictures and views, In postcard form,
to everybody else. The cards range
from pictures of the Sphinx and the
first log cabin at Three Oaks, Mich.,
to the Congressional library at Wash
ington and the conductor firing a hobo
from a limited train In the desert.
One abuse has crept Into the use of
the souvenir card, however, that ahould
be eradicated promptly. The Wisconsin
postmasters, In convention last week,
passed resolutions denouncing the ob
scene or suggestive postcard as an evil
growing at an alarming rate. Such
cards can have no value, educational
or otherwise, and their use should be
suppressed by punishing severely the
men who sell them. With that excep
tion the souvenir card Is proving a
beneficial educational Institution tW
servtng to be encouraged.
A ROYALTY LWIXO DEMOCRAT.
The congressman-editor of our ami
able democratic contemporary, Ju6t re
turned from an extended sojourn
abroad. Is already giving evidence
through his newspaper of Imported
Ideas acquired while hobnobbing with
royalty.
Colonel Bryan made a globe-girdling
trip only to proclaim on regaining his
native land that notwithstanding all he
had observed In the most progressive
nations of the world, he was still con
vinced that ours is the most enlight
ened and most popularly responsive
government on earth a nation enjoy
ing priceless liberties possessed by no
other people.
But not so with our distinguished
congressman - editor traveler, who
comes home apprehensive of the sta
bility of our free Institutions and eager
to go back to the monarchical 'forms
which our ancestors shook off more
than a century ago. His ideal govern
ment now is that of Great Britain, and
this is how he voices his admiration:
How Is It with the British empire, from
which in the name of self-government the
t'nlted States seceded?
What happens when the British Parlia
ment enacts a law?
Can its operations be suspended by the
Judiciary as here? They cannot.
Can British Judges by virtue of assumed
superior wisdom or virtue to that of the
Parliament declare the law Invalid and un
constitutional? They cannot.
Can the king veto It? He can but he
dare not. That veto would cost him his
throne.
As seen through the spectacles of
this eminent royalty-worshiping dem
ocrat, the American people have con
demned themselves to stand Idly by to
see their laws when made "exposed
helpless before executives and Judges,
perhaps to be maimed or to be put to
death," while the British people, when
their Parliament has enacted a law,
"have got it."
We agree with the conclusion of our
amiable contemporary that "the differ
ence Is worth thinking about." The
people of Great Britain have a king
handed down to them by heredity and
a House of Lords, to which admission
is determined by birth, and with al
most equal authority to that of the
popularly elected House of Commons.
The people of the United States, on the
other hand, must be content to be
sovereigns In themselves, each on the
same level with the other in point of
citizenship. They must submit to a
government established by the people
and for the people and endure methods
of legislation and means of testing its
validity, fixed by their own constitu
tion, reserving to themselves the right
and the power to change their funda
mental law at will.
- Colonel Bryan has defined .a demo
crat to be ' "one who believes In the
rule of the people." According to the
Bryan definition, our democratic editor
congressman should be debarred from
assuming the name:
THE IQNORAMVSES VP AORTH."
Senator Benjamin Ryan Tillman of
South Carolina baa returned to his
home after one of his roost successful
seasons on the Chautauqua circuit. In
an interviow with the Savannah Press
Senator Tillman says:
I enjoy preaching the gospel of white su
premacy to thoso miserable ignoramuses
vp north. Yes, I get enough out of it to
compensate me for the work.
I find about four-fifths of the crowd with
me on the race question everywhere I go.
The politicians are the ones who oppose my
views. I have taken a number of hand pri
maries, and most of them are more unani
mous than any X have taken in South
Carolina,
No, I am not permitted to talk politics
in my lectures. I am confined to the raco
question by my contracts, but that Is really
the only question that divides this country.
It has divided the north and south for the
last fifty years and If It wasn't, for the
negro they could get together.
The clown in the old-fashioned cir
cus used to announce, "We have got
your money, and that's what we're
here for." Senator Tillman Is work
ing the same game. He is to rest a
week or ten days and then make a
fresh start on fifty lecture dates that
will take him through the west and
northwest, occupying his time, at $200
a night, until he will have to report to
congress, on December 1. He is a
wise advertiser and Is his own press
agent. His apparently casual remark
about "those miserable ignoramuses
up north" will be heralded throughout
the country, as he Intended It should
be, and will start a controversy In
every city where he Is billed to lecture.
The result will be more business at the
box office and more money for Till
man. If the attendance shows signs
of dropping off Tillman will probably
apply to the police for a bodyguard,
expressing fear to which be Is a
stranger that efforts will be made to
prevent him from discussing the negro
question.
It is useless to discuss Mr. Tillman's
assertion that "four-fifths" of the
crowds that hear him agree with him
on the race question. Tillman fattens
on opposition and any time he finds
four-fifths, or .even a majority, of his
hearers agreeing with him on the race
question be will change his attitude
and advocate something cer.taln to put
him In a hopeless minority.
Tillman has made a lot of money
by getting himself misunderstood. He
has the reputation of being a "nigger
hater," a fighter, something of a bully
and an Ishmaellte, with his hand
against the existing order of things.
As a matter of fact,' the negro em
ployes on bis big South Carolina plan
tation love him; he Is something of a
poet and dreamer, a mild-mannered
man among his friends, a student and
a philosopher. He makes up for his
Chautauqua stunts Just as a mollycod
dle on the stage makes up for the part
of the blood-thirsty villain, ;"becauee
It pays." He has a warm spot under
his vest for "the miserable ignor
amuses up north" and room In bis
pockets for their dollars. Those who
know him quietly laugh at hiB methods
and tactics and sincerely regret that
they prevent the man's hearers from
getting acquainted with the real Ben
Tillman.
A PAR FETCHED PREDICTION.
Ebcnezer J. Hill, a veteran member
of congress from Connecticut, haa been
having a dreamof American expansion
that holds small promise of ever com'
lng true. In a recent address before a
church audience at Stratford, Mr. Hill
said:
This continent will be ours. The Panama
canal will be our southern boundary and
our northern shores will end at the Arctio
ocean.
In an address in the United States
senate a few years ago, John M. Thurs
ton described the United States aa
"bounded on the east by the Atlantic,
on the west by the Pacific, on the south
by the national conscience and on the
north by the old enemy." Mr. Hill has
improved on that by fixing the line of
the national conscience at Panama
and obliterating the old enemy on the
north.
There is always the possibility that
Canada may ultimately become a part
of the American union, but the fulfill
ment of that dream Is most remote.
The Dominion is prospering marvel
ously and rejoicing in its political in
dependence. Commercial union may
come in the lifetime of the young men
of today, but political union cannot be
expected for generations.
The problem on the south Is of alto
gether a different complexion. Our
nation is destined to play an Impor
tant part in the future government' of
the trouble-breeding republics of Cen
tral America and steps have already
been taken to aid them in forming a
peace pact looking to more stable gov
ernments. The completion of the
Panama canal will make It necessary
that peace be maintained in the Central
American region, but the United States,
in ' encouraging and promoting such
peace, can have no plan of territorial
expansion in that direction.- The na
tion will desire and aim to remain at
peace with all the Latin-American peo
ple between the Panama canal and the
Rio Grande, but it cannot, unless the
entire mode of life, thought and opin
ion of the American people change
rapidly, think of absorbing them Into
our political union until the popula
tion conditions there are completely
changed.' ' '
TH1C EASSIXQ Of POLITENESS.
The Keystone Telephone company of
Philadelphia has issued an order which
threatens another' step toward the
abandonment of the Aid for.ms of, polite
conversation now, unhappily, .almost
obsolete. - -The "company has directed
its 450 operators to cease hereafter"
saying "please". to JpatronB, while tlje
patrons are requested to observe, the
same rule. The company bases its
order on the ground that the change
will save a great deal of time dally.
It is doubtful if this alleged saving
in time is sufficient Justification for an
order limiting the supply of politeness
that fa already running low in this
hurrying age. It does not take leng
for either the .telephone operator- or
the patron to Bay "please" and -the
little word is oft a lubricant that makes
' v. , t
even the commercial and Industrial
wheels of the busy world run more
smoothly. It takes the raw edge off a
command and lends strength' to ' a re
quest. The word "please" is one relic
of the polite forms of our fathers that
should not be lost. It Is inexpensive
and returns liberally on the Invest
ment.' The argument that it consumes
time is not tenable, because everybody
has, time enough and to spare for a
little politeness.
THE BOY8 IN BLUE.
The announcement from Washing
ton that the War department is con
sidering the advisability of abolishing
the olive drab, the khaki and other
colors in the uniforms worn by the
men of the army and navy and return
ing to the beloved old blue , will be
cheering news to the public, particu
larly to the old veterans and their de
scendants who have ' never become
fully reconciled to the change in the
color of the uniform' of the nation's
defenders.
The proposed change, it is under
stood, is due to an impression among
officials of the War department that
the proprietors of places of amusement
will not discriminate against enlisted
men of the service. If they are dressed
in blue uniforms, instead of the olive
drab now used for summer wear and
the khaki that la worn In winter. It
is admitted that the present dress has
a rough appearance and it is thought
that proprietors of amusement places
object to It Just as they do to a laborer
appearing in overalls and Jumper. It
Is proposed, therefore, to issue a gen
eral order requiring enlisted men, at
least when on leave, to wear the blue
uniform and thus appear "dressed up."
Whatever the reason for the order,
It will be welcomed generally. The
American people have an abiding love
for the blue uniform of the American
soldier. It Is generally regarded as
much of the soldier's equipment as his
arms and munitions of war.
A French physician describes
hysteria as "a form of mental depres
sion characterized by the retraction of
the field .of personal consciousness and
a tendency to the dissociation and
emancipation of the system of Ideas
aud functions that constitute person
ality." . Many have felt that it waa
something like that, but have been
unable to explain It In snch simple
terms.
Governor Sheldon has promised to
bring his staff to Ak-Sar-Ben's next
Initiating' performance, but has not
yet increased the supply of colonels
available for the occasion. His prede
cessor in the executive chair would
have had a whole army of gold-decked
retainers commissioned by this time.
Complaint is made that the Ne
braska corrupt practices law holds
down the candidate too closely in his
expenses in a direct primary fight. The
way to make the corrupt practices law
elastic Is for the candidate to run on
all tickets and give himself the maxi
mum expense account on each.
J. Plerpont Morgan Is making elab
orate preparations for his attendance
trpon the conference of the Episcopal
church on the same scale that he would
for the preliminaries of a big bank
merger. John D. Rockefeller should
take pointers If he wants to syndicate
the Baptist brethren.
The Department of Agriculture esti
mates the value of the poultry and
eggs of the country for the nresent
year at $500,000,000. The housewife
who has to buy either poultry or eggs
at prevailing prices will be easily con
vinced that the estimate is not exag
gerated.
Senator Depew says $100,000,000
of American securities formerly held
In France have been bought by Amer
icans, but he cannot learn the identity
of the purchasers. Oh, well, several
Nebraska farmers have sold their
hold-over supplies of wheat.
Some statistician has figured out
that 500,000,000 people live In houses,
700,000,000 in caves, huts or tents
and 250,000,000 have no regular shel
ter. The last number must Include
the dwellers In flats.
Armed men are making it a daily
business to rob the people on the street
cars In Los Angeles. We have felt all
along that Los Angeles would get tired
of using Its climate alone for advertis
ing purposes.
Senator Hemenway of Indiana says
the tariff will be the main issue in
next year's campaign. And to think
that Hemenway got his start by being
Uncle Joe Cannon's chief lieutenant
in the houBe.
Secretary Taft is on his way to the
Philippines, but that will not prevent
Colonel Bryan from continuing to de
bate with him as if he were his only
competitor In the presidential race.
AU-Steel Passenger Cars.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Another railroad Is experimenting with
all-steel passenger cars. It is a matter for
regret that travelers cannot appreciate the
chief advantage tf these Inventions until
they have first been mixed up In a wreck.
A Knock for Whlnera.
Chicago Record-Herald.
When a $40,000,000 bond Issue Is more than
four . times oversubscribed It is not easy
to draw a long face and whine of hard
times and ruin. New York's experience
with its big Issue haa several lessons for
the whlners.
Pride Goes Before the Pall.
New York Post.
The exposure of one of the great Cali
fornia land grafters came about because
of his refusal to shake hands with the
"dummy" who had made fraudulent en
tries for him. ' Yet we are told that the
personal factor has been banished from the
large affairs of modern life.
Making; Too Much Money.
'Indianapolis News.
Prosperity has Us objectionable features.
For instance, Just when the eloquent legal
talent of the railroads Is striving to de
monstrate that the 2-cent fare law will
ruin the corporations thoughtless people
become restless and do so much traveling
that the railroads make more money than
ever.
Army Insubordination.
Boston Transcript.
Fifty troopers from the farriers' school
at Fort Riley who attempted to release a
comrade and attacked the jail at Junction
City, Kan., were fired upon and repulsed
by the sheriff and his men. This occur
rence teaches us that colored regulars do
not monopolize all the insubordination In
the regular army, and Is a reminder that
discipline may be slack in other posts than
those on the Rio Grande. The largest num
ber of colored soldiers supposed to have
raided Brownsville was twelve, and yet at
Fort Riley fifty troopers can undetected
steal out to break the law. Apparently
there is need of an lnvestlgiftlon that In
vestigates. SECULAR SHOTS AT TUB PULPIT
New York World: That Nebraska ex-prize-fighter
who has taken to the pulpit
will change his plan of battle, presumably,
by handling his adversary now without
the gloves.
Pittsburg Dispatch: Another preacher has
given up the work to solicit life Insurance,
because the pastoral salary. In these days
of high cost of living, would not insure
existence. It la not a cheerful commentary
on latter-day Christianity, but is probably
a sign of the times.
Chicago Record-Herald: Annie Besant
says she Is the present owner of the soul
of Mme. Blavatsky. One of the disagree
able features of 'theosophy is that an in
dividual cannot pick out the soul h or
she would like to have, but must accept
any kind of a soul that comes along, and
demands admission.
Baltimore American: Explicit preaching
instead of the mure polite implicit discourse
has caused friction in a Georgia church.
The supersensitive conscience does not
trouble the pew sleeper, who takes his first
wink Just before the collection box passes
around and becomes alert with the du
nilnle's rousing climax.
Brooklyn Eagle: Because of his charac
ter, attainments and position In the church
the new .Archbishop of Boston Is worthy
of . the cardlnU's hat with which rumor
has already Invested him. . But rumor has
created so many cardinals of whom the ap
pointing power bus not approved that a
consistory announcement of Mgr. O'Con
nell's promotion should pe patiently await
ed aud not too ban illy antlclpr
Put Your IVIooey
in Diamonds
The safest and surest Investment on the market today
Is a Diamond. Thoy are constantly Increasing In value.
Take advantage of my L1HKK.VL t'HEDIT l'LlN-a small
payment down and the balance In weekly or monthly pay
ments will make you the possessor of any piece of Jewelry
in my shop. IAYLWllUATK.
A. Mandelberg
1522 Farnam St., Omaha
EHMU.VS BOILED DOWN.
Ideals of character are the conscience of
society.
Ho never finds himself who never denies
himself.
You never will find faith by running away
from faefs.
The highest religion Is to do the lowlles
things well.
They who pour ouA their hearts never
empty them.
A man may deceive himself, but he never
fools destiny.
Truth cannot be found while squinting at
popular opinion.
Our roughest experience often arise from
our smoothest tricks.
Revenge is never so sweet as when we
refuse to entertain It. ,
You cannot be a leader and lose sight of
those who are to bo led.
You cannot travel toward heaven If you
turn your back on truth.
Some talk so hard about duty they have
no strength left for deeds.
The shortness of the day excuses no man
from greatness of endeavor.
The mournful saint works a good deal
more harm than the cheerful sinner.
If we never do the things we do not like
we never will be able to do the things wo
desire.
There are too many folks trying to meet
the world's hunger for love with essays on
affection, Chicago Tribune.
PERSONAL A .VI J OTHERWISE.
The next time Walter . Wellman essays
the part he should hitch . his balloon to
time. .Tim files. . , .
Pushing up the price of whisky a notch
Is another soak for the consumer, provided
the consumer likes 'to souk himself.
Admirers of ' the 'convicted boodlers of
Ban Francisco Insist that they are Inno
cent. Insistence proves tho admirers In
nocents. The National Association of Master Bak
ers, In session In Chicago, voted to Increase
the association's reserve fund. They need
the dough.
The Department of Agriculture announces
that bedbugs feed only twice In forty hours.
The department Is determined to Justify
its appropriation.
A New Orleans paper reports thnt the
Elks of that locality have pulled off "a
bamboula." In the lingo of Lake Pontchar
traln "bamboula" means "a high old time."
Mr. Wellman's dash to the pole has been
dashed by persistent adverse winds. In
a competition of that kind It takes some
thing of a gale to beat Walt to a stand
still. Panama canal diggers have reached a
mighty high record of energetic activity.
It Is . said the output of dirt equals tho
record of last year's campaign In New
York state.
The put-away wife of Artist Earle did
not shed any tears at the parting. A roll
of $XO,0u0 for the pursuit of happiness,
coupled with the Joys of grass-widowhood,
effectively tightens the lid on weeps.
The most Imposing nature fakir In the
tribe comes perilously near provoking tho
blg stick. He is a ship captain of New
Bedford, who has brought Into port a
story of a 1,000-mile trip In tow of a school
of whales. Every whale escaped.
Post-mortem contrasts between the per
sonal assessment rolls and the schedules
filed In the probate court bring Into view
the mental vagaries of Chicago men. One
man, who paid taxes oil $3,000 of personalty,
leaves 1100,000 of that class of property.
After Dinner
DRAW up a chair close to that of yourl
wife and talk over tho question of the ptir
chnse of a piano; consider it logically;
listen to the views of one who h'xn
economy In your domestic affairs i
much at heart as you. And while the
Conference la in progress don't forget to
take Into account the obligation that rests
upon both of you to prepare your children
for a useful life, one that will be of credit
to the name they bear.
Perhaps you would like a few pertinent
facta to help you In the discussion, a few
words of advise to show that the pur
chase of a piano s not such a formidable
undertaking and that the ownership of
one is not beyond your resources.
In the A. 1 loupe Company's store new
planoa can be bought fur $125. 1145, $15.
fltO and $235 and on up to $1,000. These
prlcea are absolutely the lowest in the
United States for the same grade of goods.
Whatever Instrument you helect will be
placed In your home upon the payment of
a small amount of cash.
Instead of paying for the piano all at
once you can do It In small Installments,
A. Hospe
1513 Douglas Street
We do expert piano
1 i-VfTf
Another, who acknowledged only $100 fof
tux purMisea, left $3u0,0u0 to hlH helrg.
As a vehicle of absorbing fiction the a
uuge personalty schedule puta the kibosh
on Colonel Mulberry Sellers.
DO M I : T I C 1'l.KtS A N T It I K S.
This poet," an Id Teas "speaks of 'spoon
drift on tho bosom of the waters.' I sup
pose 'spoon-drift' is a nautical tuim."
"1 fancy," said Jess, "that 'spoon-drift
means when you aro out in a boit alnn
with 'hlin' and Just drifting." Philadel
phia Press.
"Mny I have the next dance, Mlo Pes
chls?"
"I'm engaged, Mr. Onlley."
"(! what's the odds? Why, I'm mar
rled." Baltimore American.
"Oeorgo was Just going to propose to m
last night."
"And what happened T"
"A tiro blew up and then he couldn't
think of anything else.'" Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Towne Of course, the scheme is a good
one, but do you think your wlfo will ap
prove of II ?
Browne Yes, If hy careful hinting I enn
get her to formulate It herself, and make,
her believe It's her own. Philadelphia Led
ger. I
Dyer I don't object to my wife having the
last word.
En pec I wouldn't If mine would cut out
some of those before It. Smart Set.
"Bllklns tells mo he Is getting awfully
tired of living alone."
"I would think he'd marry and settle
down."
"I was talking with him ahout It ths
other day. and ho says he doesn't know
whether to (ret married or buy a phono
graph." Milwaukee Sentinel.
"I am thinking." snld Miss Elderflowr.'
"of taking a trip to visit friends In Chlna.jk.
"My you would be so popular thcrear
gushed Miss Pert.
"Do you think so?" simpered the other.
"Yes, Indeed," replied Miss Pert." "Out
there thev are so respectful to age." Phila
delphia Press.
Hp Ainu! I can never marry you. '
Plie Why so?
He Because your father Is In such
shady line of business.
She How daro you sav that?
He Why. didn't you tell me yourself h
was an awning manuacturer? Judge.
HOW I.O.XG WILL THEY LAST?
' Minna Irving In Leslie's Weekly.
A fellow with plenty of money
Is sowing his oats with a dash
That Is making a swift excavation
In the Pnfffr i.nnluiiilniF !-
On playing tho ponies, and autos,'
ciiorua Bins uoaaung a uxt.
And bridge, he is warning his substunce
llow long will it last?
A frisky young matron of 20 '
Is wllchlngly giddy and gay;
She lllris In a Dimmer outrageous
Whenever her huHtiunds away.
There are strolls on the beach in the moon
light,
And iidts In a motor car fast.
And trips Into town with admirers
ilow long will it lust?
The faddist who starves for a theory,
And Im-iikfaHlH on muft'.ns of straw.
With a peanut and milk for his dinner.
And for supper a bean eaten raw;
Who believes wo can live without cooking.
And at mutton and beef Is aghast
Is getting too thin for a collln-
How long will it lust?
The atheist scoffs at the notion
Of a Being of wisdom supreme;
A myth lie considers the. Bible
Ami h . u v ... 1 1 Iia uu i. - i '
... .., .t ia tx uream.
In the mould a glittering logic
ins Hrifument specious a east
1,i'.,w'1,.on:'ar, ' 1,10 '-mace-
When riding our favorite hobbles
hi i i V 1,tvenjy Kate
- miuiiwi our rate.
T!:dwi; r,'ti ,h-9. ? . du"gm
When' touched bVternuV: ory-''
Positing from $H to $10 a month in ao-
ordance with the price of the instrument
you select. For this there 1. no increase
'i the price, no additional charge in fact,
ther than small Interest per annum.
In the Hospe plan of selling you W1H
?lnd an assurance of the best values and
he fairest treatment. The prlcea Quoted
you are the prices quoted everyone. They
are always firm because we do not dis
criminate. Commissions are not rlvan
here and therefore, unlike most piano doaj
ers, we do not have a sliding scale and
Increase prices. for protection from Insist-
ent claims of the commission takers, many
of whom force these claims after the
piano is sold.
Last, but not least, we are factory dis
tributers for Krunlch & Back. Kimball,
Krnkauir, Melville Clark, Bush & Lane,
II. P. Nelson, Hallet & Davla, Conway,
Cable-Nelson, Wiser Bros., Cramer, Imper
ial. Whitney, Illnzo, Schullhoff, Arlon,
Dunbar, Kingsbury, etc., etc.
We save you $50 to $160 on a plMwv
If you cannot call, writs for prices.
Company
tuning and repairing,