X
THE OMAHA SUNDAY REE: SEPTEMHEI. S. 1JK)7.
(5
A PILLAR OF THE OLD SCHOOL
Characteristic Anecdotes About Ala
bama's Old-Fashioned Senator.
ROMANCE OF HIS TOUTHFU1 DAYS
nw lit? Casae) e Ran for the eaate
Friendship of Pettas and Mor
fn iffow Eirtp from
Ifamorlst's Repatatlon.
A life of four score snd six years, em
bracing momentous epochs In American
history, an argonaut In '40, a fighting cham
pion of the Ixist Causa, and chosen United
gtstea Senator at the sge of 75 these form
the framework of the biography of the lata
Edmund Winston Pettus of Alabama. For
yere ha wit one of the moat tnteest
trg figures tn the United States senate.
Me was homespun' and old-fashioned, a
man of plain and homely pech, without
oratorical flourishes, but with the knack of
t getting easily and quickly In the heart of a
Question. He spoke with a quaint, high
pitched drawl, drawing his metaphors and
similes from the scriptures and always
' balding the attention of the senate. When
ever he arose to apeak It was like the
sudden opening of a forgntten page In
American hlatory.
Many entertaining anecdotes are tnld of
Senator Pettus. He told this one of him
self: "When I was a boy down In Alabama
the hunting and fishing were still prime
and I waa very fond of my rod, my dng
and my gun much fonder of them than
of my books. I didn't like going to school
and played hookey frequently to go fish
ing or hunting. When I was about 17 I
fell deeply In love with the daughter of a
neighbor. One day I went to her house to
e her and found her on the eallery water
ing violets. Her sunbonnet was hanging
by Its strings down her back, and the sun
light fell on her pretty face and shining
hair and she looked very lovely. I stood
and looked up at her and I just couldn't
help plumping right out the question:
"Mary, I said, 'will you marry me?'
" 'You go Wong,' she answered. "Who'd
marry any one as Ignorant as you are?
Tou won't go to school, but spend all your
time hunting and" fishing.'
"I was ashamed and heartbroken," the
senator continued, "and I answered not a
word. I knew Mary was right. I didn't
miss another day from school that term
and the next fall I went away to Clinton
college, up In Tennessee, where I spent four
iwni. su wijs umv a Kept away irom my
sweetheart. But when I returned from Hol
iest I knew a llttlo Greek and Latin and
other things and thla encouraged me to go
to see Mary again. I found her again on
the gallery and I stood as I had stood be
fore looking up at her from the ground.
'Mary,' I said, 'I've ben to school and I'm
not as Ignorant as I used to be.' Well,
'Mary,' I Bald, 'I've been to srhool and I'm
but I knew It was all right. We were mar
ried the next year."
They lived together In the greatest af
fection and happiness until the death of
Mrs. Pettus less than a year ago.'
After tho War.
After the war he and another young
lawyer settled down to practice law at
Belma. They were miserably poor and
a fee of 1109 seemed like a fortune. But
somehow Pettus' partner got hold of a
very Important claim case for a northern
concern and won It. They received the
tremendous fee of $15,000. When Pettus
got his share of it he looked at the Im
mense sum of money dubiously, and re
' marked to his partner, "Well, this will
rtainly keep us -out of the poor house,
vut how about the penitentiary?" He
' couldn't make, himself feel It was honest
to make so much money In so short a time.
He was very fond of a quiet game of
poker. A few years ago he spent the sum
mer at Tate Springs, Tenn. One day a
friend met him walking away from the
hotel, and asked him where he was ' go
ing. "I'm going to that little white building
among the trees over there," the senator
answered, pointing to the only gambling
place In town.
Inmates of the
A RIB, Aug. J2. Henry James once
said of the French people that
their philosophy of life was forty
years ahead of the times. It Is
a philosophy that nisi U mm K A.
1 - - - - -"-
cti -rood and bud Ih.-l i.i. .1..
.,. ..I., -turn
cheerful smile, the same careless ,rUg of
the houldrs.
One finds it exemplified In Its most hope
less environment at BC Laiare. the women's
prison of Paris. It Is a great, dreary build
in, this St. Lasaro. but no one seems to
feel any sense of Its gloom or pathos.
Outside In the early morning .will be
standing a group of people waiting to see
relatives or friends, a characteristic Paris
Ian group. A young man of the Apeche
type, hat well pulled down over a low brow,
(very high collar and kln of that waxen
paUor peculiar to Uie Parisian bouluvardler;
three smiling, couettishly dressed women
without hau. a dean little old man who
talks to himself and emphasises the mono
logue by beating ,-uh hJi ,Utfc. M
pavement, and a sharp faced 111 Da girl
whose red stocking bang down over a
UaJU.d pair of Uxoa much tea big for
bT. It is this last who spaaka, addressing
ail tba groapL
Tt come to nng my sister soms of her
uda. She's bnen pinched again. It s the
fourth lira."
"Oh. weli.- answers the pale young man.
that's- a rUfht, Utile oj.. Tou wlU knew
the rnad when your turn cam."
Whu U smiling aid purler pens the
cates a nun curat forward to rectivo the
visitors and to take tho things they bars
TarousTht or Vi ailow Uuua tho interviews
they ask, fur.
e fexga coeua an the riffht are tha
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friend.
"Eut, General," said his friend, "you
know that place Is run by two of the
worst card sharps In Memphis."
"Yes, I know," grumbled the senator,
"but there Is no place else to play." He
would rather take the chance of being
cheated than forego his little game.
Breaking Into Office.
He waa 75 years old when he first went to
Washington, and SI when he was re-lelected
tn V-n. At that time the legislature un
animously set aside a law as old as the
state, which requires that a senator-elect
shall appear In person to accept his election.
The s'.ory of how he at last came to ac
cept political office Is probably apouhryphat.
but Is so characteristic that It ought to be
true. It Is said, and widely believed, that
In 1S!H he desired and appointment to tho
federal bench In Alabama and asked the
support of his senator, James l Pugh.
"Why, Pettus," Pugh Is stated to have
said, "what put Into your head this notion
of running for office? Tou are altogether
too old. We want young men on the
bench."
"Well, I may not be young enough for the
bench, but I'm not too old to go to the
senate," Mr. Pettus Is said to have replied.
Whether the Incident occurred as nar
rated, or not, in three years the aged
lawyer was occupying Senator Push's seat
In the upper house.
Characteristic Chivalry.
Senator Pettus was a chivalrous old souL
The senators have an elevator set aside for
their own use. Others entitled to privileges
of the floor are permitted to use It, but
when a senator touches the alarm button
three times, no matter how many there
may be In the car, It goes scooting to wait
upon the senator. When there are persons
other than senators to enter the car the
others must stand back and wait while the
senators enter. Then frequently the door
Is slammed In their faces, so there may
be no delay In getting the senator where
he wishes to go.
One day Senator Pettus was In the car
when Senator Turner rang the bell. Ahead
of Senator Turner and oblivious of his
presence were a senate clerk and his wife.
The little lady, exercising the privilege of
he"r sex and being the nearest to the ele
vator door, undertook to step into the car.
"Senators first,", said the elevator con
ductor, thrusting the little woman back to
allow Senator Turner to pass In ahead of
her. Turner was so absorbed In conversa
tion that he did not notice the rudeness
and stopped Into the car. Senator Pettus,
away back In the corner of the car, how
ever, did notice It and he commented on
It sot to voce, he probably Intended, but
loud enough to be beard. Including a cuss
word or two.
"Blank, blank It," growled the gallant
Alabama senator, "that iBn't decent to
make a woman stand back for any man."
Senator Turner heard the growl which set
the steel car vibrating, and when he re
alized what had been done he bowed to
the woman and apologized.
A Shot at Beverldge.
Senator Pettus nearly became the humor
ist of the senate. He escaped that doubtful
distinction only by strong self-control.
Everybody remembers how he squelched
Senator Beverldge when the Indiana sen
ator made his resounding speech on the
Philippines.
"We had a wonderful declamation yester
day from our great orator wonderful,"
drawled Senator Pettus the next day after
Beveridge's effort. "It was marvelous In
all Its parts. It was so marvelous that I
dare say such a thing has never before
been heard of In the senate of the United
States. When you get a genuine orator
he Is absolutely absolved from all rules of
logic or common sense. (Laughter.) When
It Is necessary. In the ferver of oratorical
flourishes, to prove any proposition, true
or false, rules of common sense and the
decent observance of what Is due to others
must not stand In the way of maintaining
my reputation as a great orator.
The senate rocked with laushter. Pettus,
wagging his chin whiskers, chewing tobacca
as he spoke, and occasionally mopping his
big head with a red bandanna, was Irresis
tible. Senator Pettus himself was almost
scared at what he had done, but he had
made up his mind years before that repu
tation made by fun making could not lead
to solid success, and he seldom afforded
the senate such an opportunity for mirth
as on the occasion of his reply to Bever
ldge. Senator Pettus was always a champion
Parisian Prison for Women
LAZARH THE WOMEN'S PRISON IX
clothes of the prisoners. These are all
taken away from them when they enter the
prison, to bo kept until such time as the
owners srs entitled to go out Into the world
again. When the finery la all discarded
the new Inmate puts on a uniform a coarse
gown with fichu, a neat little bonnet and
wooden shoes.
All their weapons of charm are taken
sway from them all but their natural
coquetry, which no power can divest them
of. FVbus srs tied with care, hair puffed
out under the demure cap, and the first
thing relatives are asked to brief to St.
Laaaro Is a looking glass. ,
Tea, every woman there, no matter how
poverty strUJten, old or ugly, has bar bit
i'f a mirror hung up In her cell, and more
often than not it reflects a happy, smiLji.g
and prexty face. They seem to esjoy this
ciiange of costume, and sometimes a new
conwr will try a few steps in the wooden
shoes whan the sister In charge Is not
looking.
In one oorrtdor are tha woman whose
children have been barn In the prison. TChe
mothers look happy and the children are
rolling- about heaiiliy and rusy as children
anywhere.
"They do very well here." says the nun.
"They aro warm and comfortable and ev
eryone spoils them." '
Next to the corridor of the babies who
are bora hers Is that of the old women
who will d! here, and very pleased with
their life they look as they sit chatting of
former stx eases in the day of their youth
and beauty.
In a workroom la a nun with two women
helping bar t xnsxid Unas. Oma Is the girl
of the dignity of the sena'e. When the
chamber was In disorder thst Is. when
conversation among the senators had
reached a point that Interrupted business
the mere suggesOrn en the part of the
presiding cfTieer that the Junior senator
from Alabama should be called to the
chair woe sufficient to bring order. When
he presided he handled the senate as a
schoolmaster conducts his school.
Old-Time Friends.
Senators Morgan and Fetf.is were friends
from boyhood and furnished the only case
of a state having senators, both residents
of the same city. The fact that ho was
from Selma was urged against Mr. Pettus
when he became a candidate, but tho fact
did not weigh against him.
During the last four cr five years the
time In warning each other to be careful
of their health. Morgan always Insisted
that his colleague should consult the doc
tors, for whom he had little respect Some
thing over a year ago Senator Pettus,
working hard on a law case, was attacked
by vertigo. His sons told him they were
going to call a doctor. He assented, but
stipulated that there must not be more
than one.
"You're sure there Is only one of you?"
said the senator after he had got Into the
carriage with the doctor. The doctor, evi
dently thinking the senator desired to say
something confidential, solemnly assured
blm they were alone.
"Well, I'm mighty glad of that," said the
senator with a sigh of relief. "I'm sure
I'll get well If there Is only one of you. I
never could survive a consultation."
Persons who knew them best said that
really they bad few things In common ex
cept a fondness for chewing tobacco. They
were the only democrats In the senate who
voted against the railroad rate bill. Sena
tor Mcngan had announced his position
publicly, so when Fettua also voted "No"
many thought be was following Morp-an's
lead. Tet It was said that he had arrived
at his own conclusion by an entirely dif
ferent road.
"These two old fellows are against ratt
regulation because It vlolatts the confed
erate constitution," said a Capitol wit when
the vote was taken.
Senator Pettus' last speech In the senate,
In which he had to till that his colleague
was seriously in and might not be able
to again attend to his duties, contained a
eulogy for his lifelong friend and colleague.
If you have anything to trade advertise
It In the Kor Exchange columns of The
Bee Want Ad pages.
Plays, Players and Playhouses
(Continued from Page Pour.)
which should do great things toward further
establishing a clientele. Kvenlngs at 7:45
and 9:15, with dally matinee at 2:30.
Ellery's gTeat bandof Chicago will open
the season at the Auditorium on Monday
evening, September 23, and continue In
daily concerts for one week. . On the
opening night the entire house has been
taken by the Masonic fraternity, as a part
of their semi-centennial celebration, so
that no tickets will be sold for that night.
The general puhllo will be accommodated
during the other six days of the week,
both afternoon and evening, at very reason
able prices, and the series of programs, Mr.
Ellery promises to present, will undoubtedly
surpass anything In the line of band music
that Omaha people have heard for years.
Beginning on Monday, September M,
Gregory's great spectacular display, "The
Fall of Jericho," will be put on at the local
ball park under direction of William A.
Kourke, who will manage the show for the
Woodmen of the World. It Is for the
benefit of the latter organization and will
be given under Its auspices. The show
itself Is a combination of drama, extrava
ganza and fireworks. Three hundred peo
ple are needed for Its presentation, and a
complete set of scenes illuminating Inci
dents connected with the famous siege
of Jericho by the Jews under Joshua make
up the show. It concludes with a mag
nificent display of fireworks, the whole
combining Into one of the most enjoyable
outdoor productions ever offered. Per
formances will be given each evening dur
ing the week.
PARIS.
who threw vltrol at a faithless lover not
long ago.
"Yes.'" she says In speaking of It, "I am
sure he will lose an eye, though I only
meant to burn his neck. I never do have
any luck."
The other girl Is a tall brunette from the
Midi, who has been here four times for
theft. She stole first because her little boy
cried with hunger. That sent her to Ft.
Lasare for two months.
After that work was even more difficult
to get. One doesn't cpme out of St. Lazare
with a spotless reputation. When asked
what she will do when she has served hr
terra this time, she replies with a bright
smile:
"Ob, Til have to go to Italy or some place
far away from Paris now. I'd work If I
could, really; Td be a faithful and devoted
domestic If someone would only pay me
M francs a month. Bat na one wQl, so I'll
hsvo to go on stealing. One must live, yu
know." And the nun sitting by nods sym
pathetically. Saturday Is a holiday and each girl is al
lowed to take a book from the library. So
they pore assiduously over "The History
of Prance" and "The History of Civilisa
tion" or literature of that class, for fiction
is not permitted In St. Latare.
One leaves the prison with sympathy In
one's heart, but not depression. How can
one be depressed In the fare of such child
like enjoyment and calm resignation to In
evitable circumstances? It Is not when
they go Into this prison thst they leave all
hope behind; It Is more likely to be when
they go out Into tha world again.
WATERED STOCK IN FOOD
Every Art lele of Dirt Ceatalne at Largo
1'roportloa of Aimu
Flnld.
How much a pound do you pay Tor
water T
Not what you draw from the faucet, dear
madam, but the water you buy at tha
market.
Tou don't buy water at market, say youT
Indeed, you are mistaken. Tou purchase It
there every week In considerable quanti
ties, and the price you pay for It Is well
nigh staggering.
For Instance, yon go to market and buy
a porterhouse cut that weighs two pounds;
that Is to say, when the butoher puts It
on his scales It looks as though you were
getting two pounds of steak. It never oc
curs to you to reflect that the meat and
bona contain, scattered through their tis
sues, no less than two tumberfuls of plain,
ordinary water.
In other words, slightly more thsn half of
the steak is water, which at S cents a
pound la a good deal to pay for such a
commodity. But, whatever you may choose
to purchase, you are up against the same
fluid proposition. Tou buy a six-pound leg
of mutton and tha market man carges In
cidentally at the regular rate for three
pints of water which It contains. If you
pick out a chicken for roasting that weighs
two pounds and a half. It holds one pint of
water. A ten-pound turkey contains two
quarts.
It Is much the same way with fish. A six
pound shad contains just about a quart of
water; but the roe. taken by Itself. Is less
than one-third solid matter. A lobster Is
nearly one-third water, and when you buy
a quart of oysters and take them home in
a pall almost nine-tenths of what the can
contains Is water.' The average flsh that
lies dressed on the stall in the market la
about slx-tehths water, and even a salt
cod, which looks as if It were one of the
dry est things In the world, holds a pint of
water for every two pounds of meat.
If, In view of these facts, you look for
foods that contain least water, you will
find that nuts answer the description.
Chestnuts, It Is true, are nearly one-third
water, but black walnuts, English walnuts
and butternuts contain only 1 per cent or
less of water, while pecans, hickory nuts,
Braill nuts and almonds run from 1", to
S per cent. Peanuts are 7 per cent water.
However, they are not really nuts, but a
kind of pea.
Next to nuts the dryeat food In the world
seems to be oyster crackers. Anybody may
prove It to his own satisfaction by trying
to chew and swallow a dozen of these little
biscuits, without taking anything to drink
Incidentally, Inside of Ave minutes. The re
sult will be Ignominious failure. Indeed,
thus consumed they sre like so much Dead
sea fruit, becoming literally nonswallow
able. Let us suppose that you Invest your
good money in eggs; It Is not likely to
make you better satisfied If you know that
the dozen "strictly fresh" ones, for which
you pay 30 cents, contain nearly a pint of
plain water. But milk Is worse, being 87
per cent water; while even the butter,
which Is comparatively water free, holds
11 per cent of the fluid. Cream cheese Is
three-fourths water.
A pound ldaf of good wheat bread, de
livered by the baker at your door, contains
about two-thirds of a tumberful of water.
But when it comes to fresh vegetables the
trouble becomes gTeatly aggravated, inas
much as only a small percentage of them
Is solid substance. Tomatoes, for Instance,
are 4 per cent water, spinach 93 per cent,
lettuce SI per cent, string beans 83 per cent,
cucumbers 81 per cent, shelled peas 78 per
cent, cabbage 77 per cent, sweet corn off
the cob 76 per cent and beets 70 per cent.
Potatoes and turnips are not so bad;
they are only about two-thirds water.
When fruits are considered It appears that
apples and oranges have the same per
centage of water as potatoes, while pears
run up to 76 per cent and strawberries to
85 per cent It seems surprising that an
apple and an orange of equal size should
hold Just the same quantity of mater, but
It should be remembered that the skins
are counted In, and there la a lot of fiber
In an orange.
Probably, If you were asked to mention
Take
I Of ths hlirflawC.'
Sit Z "that i? da kcrAhJ hiH at.ta,nDt,s. un,te a decla? that coffee i, a form of slow poi,on-a pernicious drag. They
drink ft On thJ 11 .1 a i ?' clos,the 1lver' colors the weakens the heart's action and ruins the digestion of all whJ
drinkk. Oa the other hand, doctors declare that a pure bottled beer, properly brewed from Malt and Hops, and fully aged, Tike
.cm. DeWed horn,, on b, phon. o, rn.il. S.4 .11 c.(es, mIoo.., h.,.1, ..4 bu",. SW fon" .? "IwrT
John Gund Brewing Co., La Crosse, Wis
W. 0. HEYDEN, Manager, 1320-22-21 Leavenworth St, Omaha, Neb, Telephone Donglaj 2341
the most watery ft fruits you would aay
tho watermelon. But tha fact la that, ow
ing to the great thickness of the rind and
to the quantity of fiber Composing the pulp,
tha watermelon, takes as a whole, is rela
tively dry, being only a little mora than
one-third water. Another dry fruit, com
paratively speaking, Is the banana, which
Is a trifle less than one-half water. In an
ordinary "hand' of thirteen or fourteen
bananas, such as you buy from the Italian
render who comes to the door, there., is
about a quart of ths same expensive fluid.
To sum up, It appears that a very large
proportion certainly a good deal mora than
half and probably as much as two-thirds
of the money which you spend tor food
supplies Is devoted, whether yon are will
ing or not, to the purchase of water. That
such should be tha case seems regrettable
there Is consolation to be drawn from the
In these days when living Is so high, but
reflection that the water helps materially
In rendering tha food digestible. If what
wa eat lacked a large measure of this In
gredient It would be likely to disagree
with us and to set the difficulty right wa
should be obliged to Incur extravagant
doctors' bOhL Philadelphia Record.
Early Struggles of Mansfield
(Continued from Page One.)
Belasoo, the sage manager, appeared in
front of the scene, holding up his hand to
secure attention.
"When the curtain rises," said Mr. Bel
asco, "there will be a round of applause.
It will not be necessary for you to ac
knowledge It; It will be for the scenery."
Mansfield was a Wonderful mimic. With
the exception of Nat Goodwin, no one In
his time could equal him In his Imitation
of vocal peculiarities, but he disliked to
exhibit his mimicry on the stage, believing
It to be a part of the stock in trade of
an actor, which should be used sparingly.
Nevertheless, all who knew him can tell
some very funny stories of the effects
of his mimetic gift. He would frequently
bring It Into an argument; as, for Instance,
once at a private supper, he was arguing
thst the English and American critics
are apt to accord too high praise to a for
eign actor because they do not appreciate
the superiority of the French and Italian
languages In dramatic use. In his argu
ment, by way of Illustration, he trans
formed himself Into Sarah Bernhardt, now
Into Ludwlg Barnay, and now Tomaso Sal
vlnl. It was while he waa Salvlnl, deliver
ing a tirade of the choicest Italian, that
the serving maid entered the room with a
full tray, which. In her astonishment,
she dropped.
$
One of the habits which Mr. Mansfield
had, and an odd one for these times, was
letter writing. Ha waa very fond of writ
ing long letters to his friends, in which he
poured out his feelings and recorded the
impressions of the moment. All who know
him well must have many of these letters
written by him In that clear, strong hand
with all his I s dotted and t's crossed,
and In the best of English, with an occa
sional apt French or German phrase for
good measure. It cannot be said of him
that he wrote the story of his life In
his correspondence; but a collection of his
letters for a term of years would be a
splendid record of his changing moods.
Many a column of stories of Mansfield
will now get Into print, and probably most
of them have been told before. One of
the best of his yarns concerned his early
experiment with Richard In London. He
was very anxious to have Irving see the
performance, and tell him what he thought
of It, and one night, sure enough, the
great man came to the Gtobe, and after
the play was ushered behind the scenes.
He entered Mansfield's dressing room, and
the young actor waited patiently to hear
his first utterance. Irving looked him up
and down, and then asked, "Do you
sweat T"
Another good story he told at his own
expense concerns the first performance
of "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" In Boston
In tlte spring of 1887. He devoted the first
fortnight of that engagement at the Mu-
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j M The Whiskey &Yl H
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imker
WINNER OF
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mtb iff TTcrrr
D. A. Sampson, Gen'!
seura to Baron Chevrlal and Prince Karl,
while the new play was put in rehearsal.
"Oh, I see, said old Mrs. Vincent, the
veteran of the company, "we are going
to have Trince Jekyll and Baron Hyde.' "
After he was married to Beatrice Cam
eron in lbM, Mansfield took a house tn
West Eightieth street, where he was wont
to entertain royally on Sunday evenings
when he was In tovn. Afterward he
bought his Riverside Drive house at One
Hundred and Fourth street, and his country
home In New London, where he also had
a yacht. Bailing had been his favorite
pastime lately.
Mansfield's repertory, built up since he
achieved his first real success. Included:
Baron Chevrlal. "A Parisian "Romance;"
Herr Kraft, "In Spite of All;" Jadol,
"Monsieur;" Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde;
Richard III; Beau Brummel; D"n Juan;
Nero; Tittlebat Titmouse, "Ten Thousand
a Year;" Bluntechll. "Arma and the Man;"
Shylock; Arthur Dlmmesdale, "The Scar
let Letter;" Dick Dudgeon, "The Devil's
Disciple;" Rodlon, "Crime and Its Punish
ment;" Napoleon; Cyrano de Bergerac;
Henry V: Beauclalre; Marcus Brutus; Ivan
the Terrible; Alceste, "The Misanthrope;"
Don Carlos, and Peer Gynt.
True Business Instinct.
Ed. was a mighty bright negro belonging
to a famllv In Columbia. Tenn. He had
been a faithful servant for many years,
and b? saving and carefully Investing hi.
wages he had belied the usual thrlftless
ness attributed with more or less Justice to
the majority of his race.
His master was an attorney, and one
-a Drug or a
.1 e , .
M
aid mye
Sales Agent, Omaha,
morning, before he had arisen, the lawyer
was- called upon by Kd. who said:
"Say. Iioss. Ah wants yo' ter draw me
up a mawRldge."
"A mortgage?" asked his master. "What
do you want a mortgage for?"
"Well. Ah's done lent Unc' Llsha $5, an
Ah wants a inawgldge on his cow an
ruff."
"For how long have you lent tha
money ?"
"Ko" one monf."
"One month: Why, the Interest on that
amount for that time wouldn't pay for tha
paper a mnrtgace Is written on."
"Ross." snld Ed , scratching his head.
"Ah ain't carln' nuffin' to' dat Intrust; Ah
ins' wants dat niggah's cow an' caff."
udge.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
A woman needs no eulogist; she speaks
for herself.
One way to forget other people's faults is
to remember your own.
Ill humor, like chemical preparations,
often come from a retort.
It Is Impossible tn drown sorrow; It has
been In the swim too long.
The man behind the white apron may
be a bartender or a bar tough.
A man's narrowness is one of the things
he doesn't want heralded broadcast.
In thin world the hardest knocks wa get
are delivered by our supposed friends.
A man should remind his wife occasion
ally that a little credit la a dangerous
thing.
Beware of the pensive maid, young man;
she Is spt to develop Into sn expensive
wife.
If at the age of SO a girl hasn't met her
Ideal man she tries to Idealise some man
she has met.
A mixture of emery powder, sweet oil
and kerosene Is said to be excellent for
cleaning the teeth of a saw.
In accord with the eternal fitness of
things there are times when the milkman
should be whipped Instead of the cream.
Chicago News.
Food