THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: MAY 12, 1P07.
0
The Omaiia Sunday Ite
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSE WATER
VICTOR ROBEWATER. EDITOR.
Entered at Omibt poetoffic a second
Class matter.
TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION.
Pally ftte (without flunday). opt year. .WOO
I'ailv ! and Sunday one year f
H'lnday bee, one year 2i
baturday bee, on year l aO
DELIVERED BT CARRIER,
"ally Bee (Including Runday), per week..lRe
I'Mly be (without ftunaayi, per week... 13
Evenlna He. (iithmK Bun.iuvi Dr weak. n
Evening Bee (with Bunday;, per wrek....luc
Address complaints of In eKUIarltles In
Uvery to City Circulation Department.
. OFFICES.
Omaha The Bee Building.
South Omaha City Hail Building.
Counrll Bluffs 10 Pearl Street.
C'hlraoio Unity Building.
New fork 15" Hume Life Insurance Bldg.
washlngtnn-Rni Fourteenth Street
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communication relating to nrwi and ed
itorial matter ahould be addreased. Omaha
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REMITTANCES.
Remit by drart, exprene or poatal order,
Payable to The Bee Publishing Company.
Only 2-cent alanine received In payment of
mall accounts. Personal checks, except on
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THE BEE PUBLISH LNO COMPANY.
TATEMENT or CIRCULATION.
Nebraska. Douglas County, sa.
Charles C. Roaewater, general manager
ef The Ree Publiahlng Company, belnjT
. I ,worn. aya that the actual number
of full and complete copies of The Dally,
Morning. Evening and Sunday Bee rrlnted
during the month or April, 1807, wae aa
1....
M,7Q
S4.O.0
4.110
4.390
34.330
34.3U0
31,400 '
84,380
84,460
84,500
34.410
5,790
35,680
93,400
34.B0O
17. i
II..
II..
10.,
II..
12..
21..
14.,
25..
tt. .
17. ,
II..
19..
35,000
8 5. 00
4.840
5,010
33.350
35,090
35,300
5.430
6,470
u,340
85,680
34,600
35,510
36,660
..
4 . ;
I;;;;:;;;;;
il::::::::::
It
It::::::::::
4,830
Total
l oan 41 n
La unsold and returned coplea. 8,864
Wet tll... 1,038,646
Dally average 84,384
CHARLES C. ROSE WAT EH,
General Manatee
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to
nie inis uin any or Atrll. 107.
(BJ.) M. 11. HCNCJATE.
Notary Public.
WHEN OUT OF TOWS.
Sabserlbrrs leavlac the city teen,
porarlly ebenld have The Bee
tied tbrm, Address will be
banaied as oftea aa requested.
IX the weather man will only order
th right thing for Memorial day all
will be forgiven.
A market report notes a shortage in
the ginger supply. The bleachers
had already noticed it.
The New York Sun refers to Bryan
as a "phonograph..? However, ' you
can stop a phonograph.
Senator Depew does not think it
necessary to announce that he will not
be a candidate for re-election.
' "The Flower of the Ranch" is to be
produced In June. Appearance must
bfl lffifl.TO1 hV til O hunlfwavl BaaanA
John L. Sullivan is an ardent sup
porter of Taft There must be a sort
of fellow feeling among the "big 'uns."
Texas reports that the potato crop
Is looking well and the corn is fine,
and potatoes are in the field or in the
tin-
Ireland is about as well satisfied
with the proposed home rule bill as It
couia De with any bill that did not pro
vide home rule.
"Who knows when Bryan will be
gin to talk?" aska the New York Mail
Just as soon as he finds someone who
has time to listen.
Sympathy cannot be withheld from
the widow of "Silent"' Smith. She is
to receive "only" $25,000,000 from
her husband's estate.
The medical congress in' session at
Washington has discovered that tuber
culosis cannot be cured by either
theses or resolutions.
.The gloom would be thick enough
to cut If farmers were worrying as
much as Wall street financier are
over the crop outlook.
A supply of Carnegie hero medals
might properly be forwarded to the
people who are patronizing the street
carl la San Francisco.
The New York girl who has had
eight husbands and Is only 27 years
old ezplalna her low average by the
xaci ibbi sue is not a native or isew
Ytwk. ' .
U Omaha were only up against a
city election now the successful ticket
would need but one plank In its plat
form a ptodge to restore the city
pavements promptly to more perfect
condition.
Mr. Bryan's Commoner gives thir
teen reasons why democrats should
support their 'party's position. One
would think Colonel Bryan would fight
shy of the thirteen hoodoo after all
hU disappointments.
Andrew Carnegie not long ago ex
pressed sorrow for the children of
wealthy parents deprived of the Joys
of maternal cares. He should send the
same message of sympathy to the
Spanish heir apparent
The deliberation with which Gov
ernor Sheldon shakes the plum tree
shows that he possesses an over,
abundance of patience which would
eome In right handy for th office
seekers In the waiting line.
An extra session of the legislature is
considered a possibility In Illinois,
while in Missouri It la a realty. The
Nebraska legelature Is all the more to
be congratulated en having finished Its
Job at the regular session
The business of the busy world may
be resumed. Royalty may shed Ha air
of expectancy and suppressed rxclt
ment and get back to talks of war,
peace and bridge whist. The stork
may go back to its never-ending pil
grlmsge, carrying an ordinary basket.
having, after a tedious and unex
plained delay, delivered that important
package at the palace of the Bourbon
dynasty, complying with all the forms
of courtly etiquette. The publishers of
the city directory of Madrid need hold
the pages open no longer. It Is a boy,
to be named Capet, and will probably
be baptized as Alfonso, after his doting
father.
To the Spanish people and the world
this advent of an heir to the king and
queen of Spain is a matter of exceed
ing importance, fraught with political
significance and carrying possibilities
that may greatly Influence the future
of the proud old nation. But, just the
same, there is the human side to it
all, the same curiosity, the tense mo
ments, the mingled feelings of enthusi
asm and emotion that marks the birth
in the peasant's hut and the following
exchange of congratulations and cigars.
The average American, however, will
be disposed to feel a little sorry for
the tiny visitor at the royal palace at
Madrid. Report tells how King
Alfonso, proud as a peacock, entered
the reception room accompanied by the
ramarara mayor, or mistress of the
robes, carrying a huge silver tray, upon
which was lying the new-born royal
babe, covered with delicate lace gar
ments; how Premier Maura took
charge of the precious bundle and,
after a whispered conference with the
camarara mayor, communicated the
fact to the distinguished company of
potentates, courtiers and functionaries,
in the words, "Gentlemen, it is a
prince."
Somehow that does not sound right
to American ears. Why did not
Premier Maura shout, "It's a boy," and
slap the minister of the interior on
the back and start the ' handshaking
while one of the court flunkeys was
passing the Flor de Punkos? The lit
tle stranger begins life with a terrible
handicap by having been born a prince
instead of a boy. For him there will
be no kindergarten, no rough and tum
ble bouts at the old swlmmin' hole, no
"follow the leader" chases "through
streets and across country, none of the
fights and frolics and joys and sorrows
that enter into the development of the
boy.' He is destined to a Ufa of royal
espionage and court etiquette, the
pampered hampering certain to elim
inate most of. the red corpuscles be
fore he arrives at the age when he
roust assume the royal duties to which
he has been born.v
Americans will not withhold congrat
ulations to King Alfonso and Queen
Victoria on the" birth of the prince,
but the congratulations will be ex
tended with the mental reservation of
regret that the heir was not born a
boy.
A DESIRABLE BRAUD OT BOOXE.
During the dark days of the war of
the rebellion, so the story goes, Gen
eral Grant was apparently sulking In
his tent before Corinth, Iuka, the
"Hornet's Nest" or some of those
other battlefields of the south, refus
ing to consult or confer with the mem
bers of his staff who were advising re
treat and holding councils of war to
determine the best way out of the
mess. Complaints were . made and
stories circulated to the effect that
General Grant was on a big drunk and
President Lincoln was advised of the
situation. The veracious historian re
ports that Mr. Lincoln expressed a de
sire to know what brand of whisky
General Grant was drinking and ex
plained that he would like to supply
generous Quantities of the same brand
to other generals in the union army.
According to advices from the
Congo country, another brand of in
toxicants has been discovered that
might serve a splendid purpose, if In
troduced la this country and used un
der proper restrictions and regula
tions. The report states that the
Congo natives, so long as they are
sober, are tricky, treacherous, thieves,
robbers, murderers and wholly bad.
As soon as they get at their favorite
drink, however, they are moved to
confess all the wrongs they have done
while sober. They tell all about what
they have ' stolen, the murders they
have committed, the crimes perpe
trated against their fellow men and
the public and. In effect, sponge the
slate of its list of their misdeeds.
Even the Woman's Christian Tem
perance Union might be willing to sus
pend their campaign against the rum
demon for the common weal If this
brand of fire water could be Imported
from the Congo country and used Ju
diciously In America. Think of the
good that might come It this confession-producing
Intoxicant could be
supplied to Harrlman, J. P. Morgan,
John D. Rockefeller, Rogers, Lawson,
George Gould and all. the captains of
Industry and corporals of high finance
with an Invitation to a little gathering
where a .stenographer would take
down the stories of how they got It!
What might be accomplished by having
the Congo drink substituted for cham
pagne at a banquet of the life Insur
ance managers or the dinner of the
officials of the trust companies! How
much trouble might be saved It city
officials la a town like St Louis, an
Francisco, New York aad Philadelphia
had Congo cocktails served as they
have towels and soap! How much
bettor the clvio life of the nation
t
would be If the Congo mixture were
administered with the oath of office.
The prospect would be Indeed en
trancing were it not for the domestic
fly in the ointment. Suppose the
American housewife should get on to
the potential powers of Congo booie
and insist that ber husband do his
drinking at home. The Woman's
Christian Temperance union and the
temperance organlxatlons would find
their occupation gone. On sober sec
ond thought, or second sober thought,
Congo may keep Its favorite tipple,
leaving America the brand that makes
Its patrons cunning rather than con
tiding.
HOMEOPATHIC HOME RCLE.
ine irisn, wno have saved every
country but their own, are in a painful
quandary as to the degree of enthusl
asm or scorn they should show over
the bill providing for alleged home
rule In Ireland. For once the domi
nating Influence in the British Parlia
ment has been honest with Ireland
Mr. Birrell's bill does not pretend to
grant Irish home rule, but offers some
thing "equally as good," with a prom
ise of future concessions ind improve
ments if the Irish show an appetite
for it t
Mr. Birrell's proposition gives the
Irish people a real and substantial
part in their local government by plac
ing the educational, industrial and ag
ricultural interests of the country un
der the direction and control of those
they may select as their representa
tives. It creates a council or govern
ing board of 106 members, eighty-two
of which are to be selected on a fran
chise basis. The council has no power
of taxation, but will have final author
ity in the disposition of revenues
amounting to $20,000,000 pet annum.
The British government retains pos
session of the agencies for the admin
istration of the law and the mainte
nance ot order. It will continue to
be represented at Dublin castle by a
lord lieutenant, who need, however,
no longer be a Protestant, and who
will control the Irish constabulary
the feature of the bill to which the
Irish nationalists will most strongly
object
The advocates of home rule for Ire
land are placed in an awkward posi
tion by the bill. They know, as do
the promoters of the measures, that
it ' la a compromise, an artificial
scheme aimed at party ends by dex
trous trimming between opposing
forces. While the bill is ostensibly
supported by the liberal ministry, now
In power, the fact remains that the
liberals piped low on the Irish ques
tion during the campaign that carried
them Into power and do not feel
pledged to any radical action. While
the measure la thus distasteful to the
home rule advocates, they are In doubt
as to whether it Is better to accept It
on the theory that a "half loaf is bet
ter than no bread," or to reject it and
take chances of securing no conces
sion that would constitute a step, even
a short one, toward their ultimate
hope of home rule, pure and slmpre.
The powers of self-government, how
ever limited, gain 6trength if only by
continued exercise, and this Is the co
gent argument In favor of the accept
ance of the half-hearted concessions
to Ireland's demands, made possible by
the proposed bill.
No Irishman worth his salt will be
satisfied with the present measure any
more than be can be satisfied to rest
content with the miserable conditions
of his country, and If accepted It will
be with the clear provision that it
must not prejudice Ireland's claim on
Justice nor prevent the country from
prosecuting Its home rule campaign
until the reforms demanded are fully
accomplished, by piecemeal or other
wise. r ARM ISO Off WALL 8TRKET'
Farmer Wilson, head of the Depart
ment ot Agriculture, has undertaken
a strenuous task In trying to -convince
Wall street that one chinch bug does
not make a crop failure any more than
one swallow makes a summer. Sec
retary Wilson has cited a long line of
distinguished precedents to show that
the country has never escaped crop
destroying bugs. Every year some
section turns up with a new insec.t that
has spoiled the wheat or other crop
over on the "north forty" and the rec
ords of the department fall to disclose
any year In which some farmer has
failed to plow up his wheat and plant
corn or timothy. These depressing
Incidents in the agricultural outlook
are as certain as the housewife's an
nual discovery of a hole In the fly
screen on the dlnlug room window
and Just about as potent In their effect
oa the public welfare but Wall street
refuses to see It that way. Wall
street Is convinced the sunshine Is
bearing the crop market and that we
are all destined to starve to death be
fore time to put la the winter stock of
coal.
The May bulletin ot the Department
of Agriculture Is less disappointing
than was expected by the Wall street
farmers. While the winter wheat has
been marked down a peg In the scale
of rating, the ever-assuring provision
Is appended that a little warm weather
will bring the crop up to the general
average. The farmer wno wonts in
the field Instead of at a mahogany
desk In Wall street Is not much wor
ried over the prospect Ha knows tt
has been cold and raw and that la or
der to get his .crops In the ground at
seasonable time, he may have to go
to work at 4 a. m. Instead ot at 6
o'clock for a few weeks and do the
chores by lantern light, but Is not
otherwise alarmed. He has been
studying the law of supply and de
mand and he know that If the oats
crop cut Is a little short and the wheat
output a few bushels shy of last year's
record he Is going to get as moch for
his summer's work as he did last year,
and perhaps more.
The farmer Is a busy man on a down
grade, and even Wall street will be
astonished to discover what ha will be
able to accomplish In the months be
tween planting and harvest time.
TPS OER.V OF THE TRUST OCTOPVB.
The publication of the official report
of the debates and proceedings of the
Nebraska constitutional convention
held in 1871 discloses among many
other interesting things the germ of
the modern trust octopus. It seems
that the convention undertook through
a special committee of which General
Charles F. Manderson was chairman
to arrange for taking down in short
hand all that transpired during Its
sessions, in order that posterity might
be accurately Informed as to all the
lights and sidelights thrown upon the
workmanship of their new constltu.
tion. This committee, with leave of the
convention, solemnly submitted the
following report, which was unanl
mously adopted:
1. The only shorthand reporters to their
knowledge within the state are John T.
Bell, John Hall, Dan Brown and John
Gray, who form a business partnership
under the name of "Bell St Co."
2. These gentlemen are competent, re
sponsible and well fitted for the work.
I. They agree to give their undivided
services In reporting and transcribing the
proceedings durlnjr the convention and have
the coi y ready for the printer as speedily
as requ red by him.
4. They demand for this servlre 130 a dey
during the session of the convention.
6. This is as cheaply as the work can be
done and the compensation is below the
usual rates paid.
Tour committee therefore recommend
that Messrs. Bell & Co. be employed at
the rate of compensation asked for the
purpose named.
It will not take a microscope to dis
cover through this report the modern
trust octopus in its infancy, although
It seems to conform more to the type
of benevolent trust about which we
some times read. Having corralled all
the stenographic talent within the
young state Into a business combine
of four partners this incipient trust
had the constitutional convention com
pletely at Its mercy. It was do busi
ness with the combine or do no busi
ness at all. To think that under such
circumstances a demand should be
made to be allowed to perform the
work for a compensation "below the
usual rates paid" testifies to the pa
triotism, loyalty and self-sacrifice of
these original trust promoters.
With this Illustrious example before
us a public apology is due from those
who have contended that bo good trust
could ever exist.
DESCKMAyTf OF THE SIGNERS.,
Jamestown proposes to call a re
union in the time of the exposition of
the descendants of the fifty-six men
who signed the Declaration of Inde
pendence and committees are already
at work corresponding with officers of
the different colonial and patriotic so
cieties of the nation with a view to se
curing a list of those who can tract
their ancestry, even by devious routes,
to some member of that group that
framed the most remarkable code of
constitutional principles the world has
known. As these descendants are lo
cated and Identified they will be of
fered special Inducements to visit the
exposition and bring their friends.
Americans have a natural and last
ing pride in the signers, based almost
solely upon their work and not at all
upon their ancestry or their personal
ity. "That all men are created equal"
was a declaration contained in the
opening sentences of the document, a
declaration accepted in a much nearer
literal sense today than was possible at
the time ot its promulgation. Pride of
ancestry is aa commendable today as
ever In the nation's history, but it has
ever weighed less than the pride ot
achievement. The American Is meas
ured by his deeds rather than by the
accomplishments of . his i parenta, and
the dissolute scion ot an honored aire
is lost in the struggle tor recognition
with the rugged, honest son ot the
humblest toller.
The reunion of the signers may
serve a purpose la letting the country
know what has become of the de
scendant of the men whose work has
made such an Indelible Impress on the
national life and history, but It will
fail to attract any particular attention
or admiration to the descendants un
less they are worthy on their own ac
count In bis plea for lower taxes made be
fore the State Board of Assessment the
tax commissioner of the Union Pacific
Is quoted as saying that his company
paid taxes amounting to 1962 per mile
for Its entire system and $458 per mile
In Nebraska. Either the tax commis
sioner manufactures his own statistics
for each occasion or the official report
of the Union Pacific is wide ot the
mark. In the annual report of the
company tor the year ending June 90,
1906, the total amount ot taxes paid
Is given at 91,709.602 and the mileage
ot the entire system at a fraction over
6,664. Making the division, we have
a tax payment of Just 9S00 per mile.
It the average for the whole system Is
only 1200 per mile and that for Ne
braska 48 per mile the Union Pacific
must be an even more successful tax
hirker In the other atates traveraed
by it than It la in Nebraska.
"Woman roust not think that to
benefit mankind aha must necessarily
become a wife and mother," says Sec
retary Taft The next day the report
was started that President Roosevelt
Is not encouraging the Taft presiden
tial boom.
Krving Wlnslow of Boston has
elgoed a testimonial to a patent medi
cine advertised to produce a drugless
sleep. The country and the constitu
tion are In no danger if trving feels
it safe for him to go to sleep again.
"William J. Bryan wants to take
the democratic party Into political co
operation with William R. Hearst"
says the Cincinnati Enquirer. There
could be no silent partner In a deal
between Bryan and Hearst.
The heir to one of the comfortable
estates In New York admits that he
has expended $27,000,000 In "houses,
horses and yachts" in the last five
years. Just another evidence ot the
Increased cost of living.
"What Is the quickest method ot
learning Spanish?" asks a correspond
ent. Join the United States marine
corps, stationed at Ouam, Havana,
Porto Rico, Manila and other former
Spanish possessions.
If all the public domain In Nebraska
appropriated by land fencers through
dummy entries can be gotten into the
hands of real homesteaders the popula-
tion figures ot this state will show up
uncommonly fine In the next census
exhibit.
Where ForaUee Looms.
Chlcaro Record-Herald.
Foraker's friends admit that Taft will be
able to swing Ohio. There is still a prob
ability that Foraker may be able to poll
the colored vote of Brownsville.
Greatest of All Creeds.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Mark Twain calls charity a magnificent
religion. It Isn't likely that anybody will
be able to find any serious flaw In Mark's
definition.
Crowdtnar the Porters.
Washington Post
A dispatch from Omaha says ail con
ductors on the Burlington Una are required
to go clean-shaved and wear white linen,
with collars, neckties and vests. After a
while they may be expected to put oa as
much style as the porters.
Peril of Pet Phraaes.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Men should be careful in originating pet
phrases. "AH Quiet on the Potomao ' killed
a big general: "Rum, Romanism and Re
bellion" knifed a big statesman: "The
Publlo be D d" embarrassed a big cor
poration, and "Dementia Americana" lost
a big law suit.
Cheaper Life laearaae.
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
The first to become a law of the measures
rowing out of the agitation for cheaper
life Insurance was signed by Governor Guild
Saturday this being a bill to charter the
"Mutual Direct Life Assurance society,"
which starts with a guaranty fun of 1300,-
000 and alms to sell Insurance "over the
counter" or without the uae of an expen
sive agency system. Whether it proves a
success or not will depend largely upon
the disposition of Its officials to avoid other
extravagances of the old-line companies,
particularly salaries, 'and their ability to
keep the public acquainted with the con
cern and the lower net costs of insurance
which It is to provide.
Ilelplnsr People to lelf-Help.
World's Work.
In Amerioa we are Just learning that the
greatest gift you oan give a blind man is
the ability to earn his own living. Denmark
extends that boon to the halt and manned
as well as to the blind. A workman crippled
in a Danish faotory knows preolsely what
to de. He goes to the school for disabled
workers and learns to s support himself
without the lost arm or leg or finger, as
the case may be. The school has made aa
exhaustive study of trade chances for
ortppled folk. It provides tools, food, medi
cine and tree orthopedlo treatment for its
unfortunate pupils, buys their work as
soon as It Is salable and ones they know a
trade finds them positions.
PERSONAL, AND OTHERWISE.
Pittsburg follows the Omaha example of
muscling dogs.
Merely as a guess, not a prophecy, straw
hats will be in style about the Fourth of
July.
The fortune left by New York's "Silent"
Smith shrunk from STO.OOO.OCO to fS.OOO.OOO
when It was Introduced to the Inheritance
tax law.
Dom Luis Philippe, son of King Carlos
of Spain, Is about to go a-wooing to
neighboring courts. He Is 11 years of age
and wears his name in eighteen sections.
The finding of a can containing g60
tn a Philadelphia brickyard lends yellow
color to the belief that the statehouse
contractors sought In vain to bury the
graft.
A tower TOO feet high la projected for the
Allegheny court bouse at Pittsburg. The
Iron city Is willing to take the risk for
an occasional whiff of untainted atmos
phere. Critics who have performed surgical
operations on Kipling's "Songs of Martha"
would have some warrant for cutting in
If they, too, received 10 cents a word for
their work.
The government expert commissioned to
view and examine the condition of Missis
sippi valley clams has reached he spot
and announces that he caa perform his
duty without a stenographer. I
An Alabama embessler who made off
with UOO.OOO Is pronounced "financially In
sane." Had be taken W.OOO and left the
balance of the roll he would have gone
down on the record as orasy,
A Missouri girl of the doubting elass
who Insisted oa getting "close to nature"
in a storm, was knocked silly "by a hall
stone as large aa a hen's egg." Where
Ignorance la bliss tis folly to be "shown."
President Mellen of the New York, New
Haven A Hartford railroad declares the
company's property is worth twice aa much
as its capitalisation, but the assertion Is
not Intended to help tax assessors la per
forming their duty.
At the rate of progress toward home
rule scheduled -by the Birr ell bill, orators
whose delightful Imagery picture "Ire
land, a nation" on festive ooeaalons, need
not revive the meau script for some years
to come.
New York's thirst la wonderful in Its
vigor and a marvel to measure. The table
of liquid measure long alnoe abandoned
the Job to the money eoeje. A little over
WOO.OW.000 cancelled lut year's bill, and
this year's thirst Is esteemed more dim
cult to satisfy thaa any of Its predecessor.
Uttle old New Yorkers may be pardoned
for eeoastoaalty forgetting the climate.
jfKU'f Minn ,,, yl,f, x,. i; J.
m sr: 1 r
; Bva :reiii iumawn,enaa oouar ttt. p- ,
m
, price t.
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
Virtue for profit will become vice for more'
profit.
Kindness Is a seed that never finds a bar.
ren soil.
The best friendship Is that which brings
out the best In us.
What we call destiny often Is only a mat
ter of determination.
The true man fears the power of sin move
th&n Its punishment.
Mending your ways Is the best way of
mourning over them.
If you would lose all force think always
of your own feelings.
You can tell tha character of any age by
the place it gives to character.
If you cannot hat hypocrisies and evQ
you are not likely to love virtue.
Many a man who Is proud of being wicked
la. really only weak In the hoad.
The man who never thinks of the feellnga
of others is sure to be devoid of epidermis
himself.
A man never has any trouble about hi
habits when he is carried away by aoro
great work.
Success often meana to get what others
want, but what you do no longer have any
appetite for.
Many pulpits waste so much time on an
Invisible devil that there is neither light
nor heat left for men. Chicago Tribune.
CANNED VOICES.
Possibility of the Phonograph ae a
Historic Witness.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The arrival in this country of phono-
graphlo records of the voice of the Oer-
maa emperor, to be preserved at the con
gressional library and at Harvard uni
versity, calls attention to the possibilities
of the phonograph as a historical witness.
If they had such things as phonographs
when Demosthenes lived, we ot the twen
tieth century should be ablo now to hear
the voice of the mighty ancient whose
oratory has com down to us as tradition.
We could compare him with the orators
of our time and discover for ourselves
whether he was, after all, so great. Think
what a queer sensation we should feel
to hear the vole of Julius Caesar ad
dressing the Romans; to hear the Emperor
Nero playing a solo upon his flute or re
oltlng one of bis verses; to hear the voice
of St. John preaching In the wilderness;
to hear William Shakespeare speaking
Hamlet's soliloquy, or Abraham Lincoln
delivering bis Oettysbury address.
Hereafter, however, It will be the privi
lege of mankind to hear the volcee of
men after they are dead.
When they '
themselves have turned to dust, Theodore i
Roosevelt, Emperor William, Edward VII., 1
Marcella Bembrlch, Enrico Caruso, Mark ;
. '. , ... , . ' .. '
Twain and others of the great constelln-
tion of today will give their messages of '
politic, or song or philosophy to the race. ,
of earth. j
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ova ruoi
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DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"They say soothing musio will make food
more digestible."
"I don't believe It. My wife always sing
lullabys while baking biscuits." Cleveland
Hum Dealer.
"Ah! prrtty lady," sold the fortune tHer.
"you wish to be told about vi.ur future
nuBu&na r
"Not much," replied Mrs. Galley.
"I've
iband I
come to learn where my present husband
is wnen ne s absent." .Philadelphia l'reea.
"Well, Mr. Cashit, Is your daughter get
ting the higher education?"
"HigherT If the test Is In tuition fees.
I gueHS she's getting about the highest
education going." litUtlmore American.
Knlcker-i9trange they dldnt name the
baby after Its rich uncle.
Bockor No, he looked at It and said
he'd give them 110,000 not to do it. Smart
Bet.
"There's a fool born every minute."
"Pometimes two fools.'
"Huh?"
"You have a twlnbrother, haven't you?
4ieveiana Laaei
"Miss Pechls " said Mr. Tlmmld. at tti
other end of the enfa, "If I were to throw
you a klse I wonder what you d saj?
"Well." replied Mies Pechls. "I'd sav vo
were the laziest man I ever saw." ftoilas;
dclphla Press.
"If you should meet an old beau and he
should squeeze your hand, Mrs. Franke?"
"I should be anfrry."
"But If he should not?"
"I should be disappointed." Kansas City
Times.
Oaddle I should think,' now that your
wife's been dead over a yeur, you'd look
around and get a good one this time.
Henpck-My! Id like to, but I wouldn't
dure.
(Jaddie Why not?
Henpeck liecHtise Maria told m If I
did she'd come back and haunt m. Cath
olic Standard and Times.
TUB JO V OF A TASK.
Detroit Free Press.
Bend to the task, my brother, that rises
at break of day,
Tarn to your struggle smiling and fear
lessly go your way;
Faint hearts are merry-makers after their
work ia done,
But a brave man lautfhe at dangor and
smiles when a task's begun.
In the thick of the flKtit. my brother. In
the heat of the battle now,
When your Bhoulders are stooped with
burdens and the sweat la upon your,
brow:
When the weight of your task oppresses.
when you're weary at heart and faint.
Take one stop more In the distance; go
lorwara wiuiout cumpttuui.
When the shadows of evening lengthen
and the sun suds In the sea.
And night nprnds her nubia mivntle, hiding
the rond from Thee;
If you carried your burden bravely, and
nl -n ii ii !u f (Ii. vnnr Haiat
You'll have earned from the Ood of Slum-
our a sweet tuiu uuurueii rceu
go, bend to your toek, my brother, and
smile as you go your way,
Though your road is beset wlih troubles.
you'll come to the close of day;
And you'll tuke to vour courh at evening,
For wlta tTlLT .mil.
at a begun.
THH MB1)1MNT-Tht note, of a com-
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tn i-iayer a part, tin ideal virtuoso .
Uchnhiue. The MEUIDANT the most
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mienm-a ii enouia be piaved. This Is li
xamiiblu on
any other plano-Player. l
other hand.
it does not in the Ieat
o oowxstzo
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r
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