8
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MAY 27, 1906
Embroidery Sale Monday
A jerrat otoclt Of MM pWrs ' Embroideries and Inwrt I ns, divided InU)
four lots for Monday. Prior menu BO por cent and more Raving to you.
LOT 1 F.xtra wide Corset Cover Em
broideries, regular 3Tic values, "JOkn
at. yard a. A V.
LOT 3 Odd pieces of Kdge and Insert
ing, wnrtn up to WC yai d, all, 2C
at, yard.
LOT I Fancy Kdcm anil Ir.sertlngs. worth
regularly up to lie yard, choice, Rp
at. yarj
LOT 4 Great assortment of Embroideries
and Insertjngs, worth 20c yard, 74 C
at, yard w
BUY HON CITY LUCES
Save
fe
60
Duty
5a re
fftc
Duty
flr
.'1 ' .'.rf '';.'! "..-
ZION CITT LACE FACTORY. ZION CITY. TLI LARGEST LACE
FACTORY IN THE WORLD.
yB are sna agents for tlha exqulslt line of WiMi Laces whoso quality and
beauty la superior to any offered elsewhere at equal prices. An Import duty of HO
cent la Imposed on toreign pmaunj. iuii uvi uin uy uuina uu BwU.
nday. SEND FUtt BAMlUJo. '
owe
them Monday. SEND FOR 8AMF1
High Grade White Goods Dept.
' IN MAIN WASH COODS AISLE
We will noil you fine white good
house in this city; and we carry by far
INDIA LINONS.
Imported India Llnons, at, yard, 2-C
76c. 6&C, 6JC, 3ic and .w
Domestic India Llnnn.1. at, yard, 1
25c, 19c, 15c, 12Hc. V c and a '
PERSIAN LAWNS, at, yard, $1.00, 75c, tOo,
c, ic, isc, ic,
and. . ,'
FRENCH LAWNS, at, yard, $1.60. 11 25.
l.o, 76c, uCc, Sic, JEc - mC
and
PLAIN FRENCH ORGANDIES, at, OR
yard. Z'ic, 3f.c, 2'Jc and
TRENCH WASH MOU9RELINES, at.
yard. U.S. $1.00, 76c, Vc, Site 25c
MERCERIZED BATISTE at, yard. $1.00,
SAn, 7uC, DUC, 03C, Wt, .wv lJ '
anil....
at 25 por cent cheaper than any other
the greatest stock from which to select.
WASH CHIFFONS, at, yard, XQn
$1.50, $1.25, $1.00, 75c, 50c and
ALL SILK WASH CHIFFONS, at," 1 "
yard, $2.50. $1.M, $1.75, $1.50 and -
IRISH DUIITIK8, at. yard, 3?c, 01r
36c, 25c, lite. He and a aw
SILK WASH NOVELTIES, ut, OC
yard, 75c, toe, 3c and tJSt
ENGLISH JACQUARDS. at, yard. OCr
$1.00, 75c, 6w, a&c and -uv
EYELET HOLE EMBROIDERIES, C
at, yard, $1.PS. $1.76. $1.50. U:m and... lP 1
ST. GAl'L SWISSES, at. yard, $1.50, $1 25,
U 00, 86c, 75c, Cic, 59c, 50c, 4ic flClr
and v --W.
3COTCH SWISSES, at, yard, 75c, 1Q-
69c, 60c, 39c. 25c and
DOMESTIC SWISSES, at, yard. tf)c
26c. 19c, 15c, 12 "Ac and vw
SEND FOR SAMPLES.
High Grade Dress Linens
Plain and Fancy Colored
In MaJn Waah Goods Dept. Here is the finest line in the West.
Dress Linens,
2 yards wide
45-Inch Dress Linens,
at yard
86-Inch Dress Linens,
at yard
Waistlngs Linens,
36-lnch wide, at yd:
Handkerchief Linens,
36-lnch wide, at, yd.
Fronting Linens,
36-lnch wide, at, yard.
1.00
1.25
) 85c
) 75c
) 65c
65c
9c
50c
3c
65e
SOc
Sic
1.S0
1.25
1.00
75e
45c
3c
1.00
85c
C9c
59c
Art Linen, 3C-lnch round
thread, at per yd
Batcher's Linen, 36-lnch wide,,
for dresses, at yd
" 59c
50c
J 29c
50c
SOc
Colored Dress Linens,
at yard
SHRUNK
MfSLIN, LINEN
FOR DRESSES
29c
25c
59c
50s
I 45c
fS9c
I 25c
J lie
FINISH
$1.00 will
start a Savings
Account. Hper
cent interest
will greatly in
crease it.
in
THE RELIABLE STORE.
Our State
Bank
pays k per cent
interest on Sav
ings Deposits.
An Extraordinary Purchase and Sale
Through onr New York resident buyer, Mr. O'Connor, 'we secured the surplus stocks f three women's gar.
tnont manufacturers.
Wash Suits, Wash Skirts, Wash and Silk Waists at One-Half to One-Third Price
The modern way and our way of selling stocks of ttiis kind Is to mnrk them at the same ratio of diseonnt which
wc receive. We have done so in this case and the prices moan a saving to you of half and more on your purchase.
$10.00 and $1100 WASH 8tTITS, In Jacket
and shirt waist tlyle. beautifully de
signed, daintily trimmed, K lift
choice OmJM
$00 pretty Wash Suits, In ginghams, linens,
lawns, SwlHses and batistes, all colors
and white, worth up to $7.60, O n:
choice
175 WASH SUITS-Mado of Indian Head
Shrunk Muslins, full skirts, piped with ,
colored materials, worth regalarly Ot
$4.00, choice f
MANUFACTURER'S STOCK OF SILK
UNDERSKIRTS.
Divided Into three lots. Tha best values
ever shown.
LOT 1 Silk Underskirts, worth" T, Oft
regularly $10.U0 and $U.f0, at JC7
LOT 2 Silk Skirts, worth regularly O QS
K50 to $S.50. at
LOT 3-Small lot of Silk Under- O Cf
skirts, worth regulay $5.(1). at. .. '-''
WHITE LINEN PRESS 8KIRTS, 1 eZ(
worth regulurly $3.00. Monday "U"
$5.00 Linen Skirts on sale Monday, 2
$10.Ci0 and $12.00 Tanama Skirts, newest
styles and colors, Monday, )5
.
GREAT CLEARING OF SPRING SUITS.
Our custom of never carrying over suits
from one season to another is well known.
ft
and we Intend to follow out that custom
this season. To thiit end we have marked
several hundred of our bt-m kiiIIs at prices
which are sure to move tliem quickly.
$15.00 ETON SUITS with clrculur fl QC
skirts, in this sale at
HANDSOME TAILOR SUITS In great as
sortment of new styles and materials,
$1K00 and $20.00 values, tit 11(1
choice.. IU.VV
$25.00 and $30.00 Tailor Suits, artistic In
design, elegant in material and finish,
unmatchabie at our sale 1 A Qll
price i
ATTRACTIVE WAIST BARGAINS.
Women's $2.00 Waists, In line qu-iUty
lawns, gnat bargain, Iti"
at JJm
NEW GOLF WAI8TS, made of line
madrases, splendid ussoi tiiK-nl, j oU
$5.00 Lingerie Net and Jap Waists, 2 QCl
la Monday's sale at JJ
See our new IIonie-Made Wruppers. OSi
at, $5.0o down to i.u
CHILDREN'S WHITE DRESSES for con
firmation and graduation, ages 2"
4 to 14, at $o.w) down to a4,J
FROM $ TILL 10 A. M. Women's OQc
75o Dressing Sacques, at tTW
FROM 9 TILL 11 A. M. Women's Moire
and Sateen Underskirts, . 7iC
We Have A Right to Crow
Our 15th Furniture Anniversary
Just 15 years ao we started our
Furniture Department with two rock
ers and two pnrlor tables. Today 'we
have three floors 00x120 for sales
room and two the same l.e for stor
nge, loidcs one wlnle flimr In our
warelioiise at 10th mid Dodnc 1 his
all for fiirnltnre. TtiN urotli ha not
come by chance. It has come by linrtl
woi k and the IHx-rnl support of tlio
public.
To show our appreciation of this
patronage and to properly cole-brute
onr IStit annivcrMtrr we In'ln Mon
day a grand cut price sale.
uhk Ftm Tin; niA K t.(;s.
Every article marked with a Wuo tn
goes nt a genuine rrductlon. The old
l-rlce Is still tliere, and tlie new one shows
the cut.
Tun have cleaned hoi!---, or hive built a
new home. I HIS IS A (101.T1'.N OTTOR
TI NITY I'OR You. We have rtiillt up
this business by giving ood artlclos at a
lower price. '
Those prices arc now still lower. Do not
fnll to take advantage of this great offer.
Look for the blue t:igs. Most of the arti
cles are so marked. 81' ITS, WEDS,
CHAII'S. HiK'KVIis, TM'l.l'f, DESKS.
COUC1IU3, DRKSSl-atS, ClUFFONlERta,
elc, etc.
In Our Millinery Department
Monday you will find a bright, fresh, now showing of summer hats. Lnca
hats, lingerie lints, duck hnts, Milan straw hats, chip straw lints and hntj
made of pyrovalln braid, ell trimmed 'with flowers, plumes and dainty sum
mer novelties.
Linens, Muslins, Sheetings and Domestics
At Keenly Cut Prices for Monday's Selling In Our Great Domestic Room.
46-1 n. Indian Head.
at
36-ln. Argo.
at
36-ln. Rendrag,
at
32-in. Linen Finish,
at
34-1 n. Scotch Linen Finish,
at
...19c
...15c
.. 18c
.12ic
...10c
Bend for samples.
High Grade Wash Goods Dept.
In this department we keep
all colors perfectly fast, etc.
English Silk Ginghams, at, yard,
$1.00, 69c and
French Zephyr Ginghams,
at, yard
Anderson's Scotch Ginghams, at,
yard, 25c, 19o and
ORGANDIES
French Organdies, Carreaux
116, at, yard
French Organdies, Lino
19uS, at, yard ,.
Silk Organdies, at, '
yard
only the .very best and choicest wash goods;
50c
39c
15c
50c
SOc
59c
Silk Spot Organdies, at, 50C
PureSilk Organdies, at, 39c
French Organdies, at, m.
yard IVW
Silk Novelties for shirtwaist On
suits, at, yard, 60c, 39c and StJ
Ih this department will be found Organdies,
Ratlstes, Mulls, Ginghams, Percales,
Koliennes, etc., at, yard, a6c, 19c, 71r"
15c, LIViC, 10c, 8c and 4'w
BEND FOR SAMPLES.
72-Inch Bleached Satin Damask Table
Linen six patterns to select from goods
that sell regular at $1.75 and $2.00 f JO
yard, for Monday only, yard
72-inch Unbleached Table Linen, guaranteed
all pure Irish linen, worth $1.00 fic
yard, at, yard UVk
Pattern Table Cloths, bleached, 24 yards
long, hemstitched border all 4 nu
round, worth $3.00 piece, at l.JJ
Napkins, silver bloached, all linen, good
-' size, sells regular at $1.50 dosen, )
Bleached and Unbleached Turkish Towels,
extra large size, double warp, Q .
worth 1-fcO and 15c piece, at "w
81x90 Bleached , Seamless Sheets, made,
from the best brands pt sheeting, sells
regular at 75c piece only six to Qn
customer at, pair u"
72x90 Bleached Sheets, good value at 60c
piece as long as they last at, 37 4 C
A fine, soft finish Bleached Muslin, free
from starch, worth 8&c yard, Elr.
at, yard UW
Fine Sheer India Llnon, made from Sea
Island Cotton, worth 15c yard, '71n
at. yard 3
Domestic Room Wash Goods'.
Specials
Silk Mull and Silk Dots, in all new spring
shades, worth up to 35c yaiu,
at yard lOw
Printed Batiste and Orpandies. all new
patterns, extra fine weave, worth fOr1
up to 25c yard, at, yard Ivlfc
Percales in medium and light shades, full
36 inches wide, all well Known brands,
sell regular at 15c and 18a yard,
at, yard
10c
Dress Ginghams, book fold, all new shades,
extra line quality, worth 15c , 1 1
yard, at. yard lJ
Dress and Shirting Ginghams, medium and
light colors, worth loc yard, at,
yard
Chambray Ginghams, In plain blue, brown,
pink and black, worth luc yard, Tlr
at, yard 2
Swiss Lawns, In all new spring effects,
good values at 10c a yard, to close rVn
at, yard -b
Standard Prints, In navy blue and as
sorted dark shades, worth 6V40 q lr
yard, at, yard "
Unbleached Crash Toweling, all
linen, worth loc yard, at, yard.
6ic
Hayden's Grocery Dept., the Greatest in the West
Our 4.98 hats are creating quite a sensution. Customers tell us they never
saw such values. Monday we will mark about 100 more hats for
quick Belling, at
Silk ribbon toques, all trimmed, ready to wear, $8.00 values
Rp3Cial Monday
Milnn straw hats, trimmed with flowers and s'.lk, others with straw
quill and velvet bands, chick and nobby special
Hats trimmed to sell from $5.00 to $6.00
for ,
Duck hats, trimmed, from $2.75 down it C
to : tJz
One lot of untrlmmed straws, worth up to $3.00, for 25c. 15c
and
..4.98
...i.98
1.98
1.98
10c
Phenomenal silk Bargains Monday
Our fifth great shipment this season of C. J. llonnet Silks hus'Just arrived.
Our low prioos on theso silks have been a surprise to everyone. The secret
of our low prices Is twofold first In the tremendous increase in sales, second
in the buying. 8ISE THKSK SPLKNIM1) NKW SILKS MONDAY.
COOL SI IKS FOK HOT WKATHFJt.
NATURAL JAP HABUTAIS
19-ln. C. J. Bonnet Black Taffeta,
at, yard
27-Inch C. J. Bonnet Black TalTctas,
at, yard
36-lnch C. J. Bonnet Black Taffetas,
at, yard
$1.00 3S-lnch Black Taffetas, at,
yard
$1.60 36-lnch Black Peau de Soto,
at, yard
$1.26 3C-lneh Black Taffetas,
at, yard
69c 27-Inch Black Jap Silks,
yara
19-inch wide, at, f(lr
yard .gJ-
27-Inch wide, nt,
yard, 6Sc, 50c, 45c and -.-,CJfc
36-inch wide, at, yard. 79c, 65o 4QC
Fancy Habutal, Rndias and China Silks,
27 Inches wldo, special at, tlr"
yard, tiln; and -'w
COLOR CHINA SILKS 27 inches A(n
wide, at, yard -avw
Wool Dress Goods
Closing out' all spring wool dress
make them go:
100 pieces of 811k and Wool Eollennes, 45
Inches wide, light weight for -summer
dresses, all colors, black and white ex
cepted, and also changeable colors these
goods sold at $1.00, $1.25, $1.50 and $1.98
yard. Monday all will go at 'irr
a yard OOW
50 pieces of strictly AH Wool Black Pan
ama, the 85c grade, Monday C(lr
only yard
goods, llere are the prices that will
GRAYS.
We are closing out our $1.98 grays OQ
at-a yard I.OS
Allour $1.50 grays 1.00
All our $1.00 Mohairs, In fancy CQC
colors J js
All our summer striped Cream 2
Suitings at yard lJ
Several othor lines ot goods will be
Closed out Monday.
Stock the largest, goods the freshest and
rices always the lowest.
lbs. best Pure Cane Granulated
Sugar $1.00
10 bars best brands Ijiundry Soap 25c
10-lb. sack best Granulated Cornmeal.l2Vo
1-lb. pkg. Condensed Mince Meat 6o
1-lb. pk. Corn Starch 4c
The best Soda Crackers, per lb 6c
Xcclo Breakfast Food, per pkg..' 70
Bromangelon or Jell-O, per pkg 7Vxs
OU Sardines, per can So
POTTED MEAT SALE.
U-lb. can Veribest Potted Ham 4c
'A-lb. can Veribest Devilled Ham 4c
4-lb. can Veribest Potted Tongue 4c
Flannel Dept.Specials
10c and 12V4o Outing Flannels at 8C
12Hc Cream Shaker Flannel, best Qlr
quality, at yard OJv
25c White Wool Flannel, Q .
wide, at yard IO
17c Drapery Sateens, large assort- O 1 ,
ment of patterns, at yard ISI
18o Drapery Cretonnes, all new ni
patterns, at yard 1IV
$2.00 White Fringed . Bed Spreads, Mar-
seines patterns, extra large etQ
size special JJ
$1.50 White Fringed Bed Spreads, large
Bize, Deauiuui patterns 1 Oji
each .-. lo
$1.25 Bed Spreads, full size honey- Qr
comb pattern '"v
$1.00 Crocheted Bed Spreads, large size,
Marseilles patterns I- tQr
special UUW
tt-lb. can Veribest Devilled Tongue 4o
K-lb. can Veribest Potted Beef 4o
4-lb. can Veribest Potted Turkey 8-jc
Vi-lb. can Veribest Devilled Turkey.. ..8Hc
H-lb. can Veribest Potted Chicken 8Vc
Fancy Santos Coifce, per lb loc
Fancy Marlcabo Coffee, per lb 17l-40
Fancy Porto Rico Blend Coffee, per lb..iioc
BUTTER AND CHEESE SALE.
Fancy Full Cream New York White
Cheese, per lb 15o
Fancy Full Cream Wisconsin Cream
Cheese, per lb 15c
Neufchatef Cheese, each J. 3c
Sap Sago Cheese, each 7H
FRESH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.
Fancy large Juicy Lemons, per doz 15o
Fancy large Juicy Oranges, per doz 15c
fancy large ripe Bananas, per doz 12o
Six bunches fresh Radishes 6c
Two bunches fresh Asparagus 5c
Four heads fresh Lettuce ,....6o
Fancy Wax or String Beans, per lb..i...l0o
Fresh Spinach, per peck 6o
Five bunches Pie Plant 6o
Fanoy large Cucumbers, each 6o
Five bunches fresh Onions 5o
CANDY. CANDY. CANDY.
All regular 40o Candles, per lb ...20o
All regular 2oo Candles, per lb loo
Fancy new Marshmallows, per lb lOo
Sale of Carpets, Rugs, Draperies
When it comes to real value-giving
For one more week we will continue our
ALL WOOL INGRAIN CARPETS Cfli
this week, at, yard O VV
S6c GRANITE CARPETS, heavy "'7jtn
quality, sale price, yard "1
76o Tapestry Brussels Carpets, Vlth etlf,
borders, at, yard "
$1.00 Velvet Carpets with borders, '7fir'
sale price, yard -'
6x9 Tapestry Rugs, regular $10.00 Q SO
value, at OiOO
6-9x9 Scotch Body Rugs, regular fi OQ
$9.00 value, at -'-"-'
9x12 Tapestry Rugs, worth $18.00, f A HQ
special -. 14. VO
9x12 Axminster Rugs, worth $25.C0, fi QQ
special IO.VO
our carpet department certainly excels.
great bargain ottering In this dept.
SPLENDID LACE CURTAIN AND
DRAPERY BARGAINS.
60-lnch Couch Covers, worth $1.6, flft
choice !Ow
60-lnch Couch Covers, worth $1.76, 1 iq
choice
60-inch Couch Covers, worth $3.50, O
choice
ZION CITY LACE CURTAINS.
The high quality and beauty of these
curtains are winning scores of friends
daily. This sale offers exceptional saving
opportunities.
Curtains worth $1.25, at, Q8C
Curtains 'worth' $2.00," at, 4 A(
pair
Curtains worth $3.50, at, O AQ
pair
Other qualities in proportion.
Odd Lace Curtains, worth up to Cr
$i60, at, each, 26c and -w
49c
75c
1.10
69c
98c
85c
39c
6Sc 19-inch Black Taffetas, O, Imported Pongees, special bar- ROq
at, yard t)01 gains, at, yard, $1.00. 75o and
76o TO $1.00 BILKS, consisting of 27-lnch Novelties, 27-lnch Taffetas. 19-Inch Fancloa
and l-inch plain Silks on bargain counter Monday. Surprising bargains, 390
at, yard, 65c and
Great Shirt Sale Continues
The sales Saturday in this department were immense, uuv . k.-vv-
n,. .trk that, it wm imnossible to snow ail ai one nine. wuhuj by
lines, even better values than those of Saturday, will be brought for
MO S 11.00 B111K.10, w
laundered bosoms, collars.
detached, all new pattern;
76o and.
vrrciM'R BALBRIGGAN
DRAWERS, plain ad
MEN'S SOFT SHIRTS. WORTH UP TO
$3.50, AT $160 AND 88o-In silk, ging
hams, mohairs, Imported Madias and
other fine materials. In all colors, both
plain and fancy, soft collars and ties to
match, worth up to $3.60, at Q8c
$1.60 and.. a
MEN'S MADRAS SHIRTS, with soft or
pleated bosoms, collars attached or de
tached, worth up to $2.60, at, 7oC
$1.60, 8o and
great snap, at
ana
MUSLIN UNDER
Ladles' Skirts, Gow,
worth double, at $1
and
33cio
47
fiAR BARGAlo-
and uorset
8o, 75o 50C
Other Splendid Monday Bargamsi
LACE GOWNS An immense lino of ladies' white and rr'al" , VVt era
embroidered and lac-e trimmed. Robes and Eiubroiderctl Shirt Waist -aweri
all at lIALx, ItEULUUt riutiis. ,
12.50
15.00
.10.00
.4.50
$1.50 Shirt Wail
at
25c Ladles' Ne
at
15c Embroider
each
The best lot
SOc Silver Belt
for
50c Hand Bug
for
tt Patterns,
kwear.
$25.00 LACE GOWNS.
at
$30.00 LACE GOWNS,
at
$20 00 EMBROIDERED ROBES,
at
$9.00 NET ROBES,
at
$1.00 Shirt Waist Patterns, 4Qc
at
$2 25 Shirt Waist Patterns, UoC
VAL LACES A great purchase of the finest quality Val "jLaues, regular 25c 10c
values, on sale Monday at, yard I ,uw
75c
10c
d Handkerchiefs, 5C
nff-mA
we nave evoi
China Department Sipecials
Handled Sherbets and Custard On
Cups
Two-quart Crystal Water ISc
ritchers "v
12 to 14-lnch Crystal Vases 10c
each ,v,w
Decorated Dinnerware, odds and ends of
open stock, cholo) Xr
each "w
3c
Thin Blown waier Tuniblers
eacn l
10O-plece Inecorated Havlland Dinner
Sets, lmpoit order Just re- E 7Ci
celved pe' get liJ. 1 J
TinTop Jcy Glasses- 1q
Majolica t irowlers two-quart 19C
, Tersely Told Tales Both Grim and Gay
Wker the San Rarely Shines.
kEORGB ADE was talking ; about
Gl London and London weather.
I "April, May and June are de
lightful In London," he said, "but
the full and winter season la on
tun, cold,- wet fog.
"A Parsee visited London last fall. II
dined with a bishop one night, and the
bishop tried to convert him. The Parseea,
you know, are sun worshipers.
" 'Here you are, my friend,' said the
bishop reproachfully, 'a man ot culture,
'widely traveled, generous, brave, wise, and
yet you worship the sun. How can ydu do
ttT I can't understand how any sensible
person should worship a created object such
aa the sun.'
" 'Ah, but you should see it once,'' cried
the Parsee warmly. 'You hava no Idea
what a splendid thing It Is.' "
Ills Peroration.
The following was part of a young attor
ney's peroration on argument, of demurrer
In one of the courts recently; "May It
please your honor, this is a stupendous
question. Its decision by you this day will
live In Judicial history long after you and
I shall have passed from this scene of
earthly glory and sublunary vanity; when
the tower ot Pisa shall be forgotten; when
Watrrloo and Borodino shall grow dim In
the distant cycles of receding centuries;
when the names of Eugene, Marlborough
and Napoleon are no longer remembered;
when the pyramids of the Pharaohs shall
' have crumbled into dust; when the hippo
potamus shall cease to Inhabit Its native
Nile; even then your ruling upon this de
murrer will still fMirvlve in the antique vol
umes of legal lore aa frestiV green and im
perishable. The case, your honor, origi
nally concerns the cost of two new hats
and an umbrella."
What Wis Doctors Shoald Do.
The wise doctor takes his patient's pedi
gree first. It saves him embarrassments,
such aa. for Instance, that of the physician
who said: "Ah, 1 see," after examining
bis tongue and feeling his pulse. "Sallow
complexion Imperfect circulation seden
tary occupation want of outdoor exercise.
You ought to be in the open, air as much
as possible. By tha way. what might be
tbo nature of your occupation?" lie was
a trifle slacaered to lsaja that hia patiaat
was a gardener. Another doctor was
waited upon by a man who confessed to
playing in a local brass band. Shortness
of .breath was the trouble in his case.
"Ah, that accounts for It,',' said the medi
cal man. "That brass band is the very
worst thing for you. You'll have to give it
up , at once. What Instrument do you
play?" "The big drum." cam the unex
pected answer. New York Tribune.
Convinced by th Jary.
Don Powers, on of Maine's leading law
yers, was at one time defending some men
who had been charged with assault and
battery. Th case was being tried before ,
Judge Peters In Bangor.
The strength ot Mr. Powers' argument
was so great that, although th accused
were thought guilty by nearly every on
present, the Jury returned a verdict of not
guilty.
After the acquittal of the men, the
Judge, who had been impressed by , th
argument, sold:
"Brother Powers, there is no doubt as
to the man getting a beating, but who do
you think did it?"
"Your honor," replied Mr. Powers, "I
always thought my clients did until the
Jury said they didn't." Boston Herald.
w Mark Twain Story.
A new Mark -Twain story Is going th
rounds. It wss told during a recent dinner
In this city. Th humorist takes long rides
In th country In his auto and one day the
mud was so . deep that the machine stuck
In It. On a railroad near by an Irishman
waa seen, bossing a gang of Italians. "I
called to him." said Mark, "and he brought
the whole bunch over to lift the machine
out. We clashed right away. The Irish
man insisted on bossing the Jub and I
wouldn't atand for it. 'AH right,' said the
Irishman, and he took hip men back to the
railroad. There was nothing for me to do
but give In. I sat in the car for about an
hour and then railed for the Irishman to
come back. 'Am I to be boss?" he asked.
'You are.' I aald. And he was." Pittsburg
Dispatch.
A Clerical Correction.
President Roosevelt has a pet story about
a negro preacher who, in delivering a force
ful sermon on theft, volleyed forth:
"I befo' ma twelv ebiokaa thlsvaa,
lncludin' that thar BUI Sanders."
Sanders resented this clerical attention
aud threatened his reverend detractor" with
a broken head and a slander action, unless
a retraction were made next Sunday. The
apology came In due course.
"What I should 'a' said," th minister
explained, "was I ae befo' me eleven
chicken stealers, not lncludin' Bill Ban
ders." - .
Mark Twain's Story for Schoolboys.
Mark Twain on his last visit to bis old
home Hannibal, Mo. told to the achool
children a true atory about a schoolboy.
"This boy," he said "awoke one morning
very ill. Ilia groans alarmed the household.
The doctor waa aent for and came post
hast. " 'Well,' said tha doctor, as he entered
th sick room, 'what is the trouble?'
" 'A pain in my side,' said the boy.
" 'A palu in the head?
"'Yes. sir.'
" "Is the right hand stiff?'
" 'A little.'
'How about th right foot?
" 'That's atiff, too.'
The doctor winked at the boy's mother.
"'Well,' he aaid, 'you're pretty sick, but
you'll be able to go to school on Monday.
Let me see, today is Saturday and'
" 'Is today Saturday? said the boy in a
vexed tone. 'I thought it was Friday."
"Half an hour later the boy declared him
self healed and got up. Then they packed
him oft JO school, for it was Friday after
all." y 4
Ronah Riders la Trouble.
One night la camp Roosevelt told us the
story of one of his Rough Riders who had
Just written hlin from some place in Ari
xona. The Rough Riders, wherever they
are now, look to lilm in time of trouble.
This oue had come to grief in Arizona, lie
waa in Jail. So he wrote the president, and
his letter ran something like this:
"Dear Colonel: 1 am in trouble. I shot
a lady in tbo eye. but I did not intend to
lilt the lady; I was shouting at luy wile. '
And tha presidential laughter rang out
over th treetops. To ., another Rough
Rider, who was in Jail,- accused f horse
stealing, ha had loaned $ to pay counsel
on hi trial, and, to his surprise, in due
time th money came bsck. Th ex-Rough
wrot that bis trial never earn off. "W
elected our district attorney," and th
laughter again sounded, and drowned tha
noise of the brook near by. John Bur
roughs in th Atlarttlc.
WealtUfii Water.
Dr. R. A. Torrey, the evangelist, was
condemning drunkenness.
"Fur my part," he said, "I with all the
whisky dealers were like a certain western
one, a hard-headed old Scot, who grew
rich In the trade.
"After he had grown rich th old man
built himself a fine house a limestone
mansion on the hill, with a park around It,
with conservatories, stables and outbuild
ings In a word, a palace.
"One day the old Scot rode In the omni
bus past his fine house. A temperance man
pointed up at the grand edifice and said
with a sneer:
" 'It was the whisky built that, wasn't
It?'
" 'Na, na, man; the water,' the Scot an
swered.' "Philadelphia Bulletin.
Babn Documents.
"This document." suid Senator La Fol
lette, anent an unreasonable petition, "re
minds me of the letters that a civil servant
in India sent to the government.
"The man waa a babu, as the educated
Indian natives are called. He was in
charge ot a state library, aud the docu
ments in this library were being eaten by
the rats. Accordingly he applied to tha
government for weekly rations for two
cats.
"The rations were granted him, and sev
eral weeks, passed, w hen the awvernment
received from lilm this letter:
" 'I have the honor to Inform you that
the senior cat Is absent without leave.
What shall I dor
"Receiving no reply, he wrote again as
follows: .
" 'In re absentee cat. I propose to pro
mote the Junior cat. and in the meantime
to take Into government service a proba
tioner cat on full rations.' "Washington
Post.
Entertaining Little Stories for Little People
M
Senatorial Conrtesles.
"You're a liar:"
"I ain't."
"You are."
"So are you."
"You're another."
"I ain't."
"Then we ar both liars."
"All right, let it go at that. Have a
cigar r Clvelaad Plata Dealer, .
How Teddle Made Friends.
UZZER. sere's a new little girl In
to house next door, and I'z going
out to make fwlends."
Its??l Bo Teaaie ran out. ana u wun
VSiliiJ as the little girl spied him he
waved his arms and shouted boisterously,
"HI. little girl zere! Come over her and
Play."
Th little girl looked at him in silence for
Just a moment. Then she turned and ran
Into tha house.
Teddie was amazed at the result of his
invitation. For a minute almost he wanted
to cry. Then he went straight back to
his mother.
"Muzzer, sat little girl won't play. She
ran away from me, and I think she's a
mean, naughty, little girl."
Now from her window mother had seen
Just what had happened, so she smiled
and said, "Not a mean or naughty little
girl. Teddle, but Just a shy little girl."
"What's shy?" asked Ted.
"Bashful, timid. She looks Ilk a very
gentle child, and there waa nothing gentle
about the way you shouted, 'HI, little girl
there! Come over here and play.' That
frightened her."'
Teddie hung his bead. ,
"Next time the little girl comes out, it
you go quietly over and speak gently to
her, she will not be filghten' d, and I think
she will be glad to play with you," added
mother.
"Girls is gentle, but boys Is boys," Teddle
said, loftily.
"Would you rather have father called
a man or a gentleman?" asked mother.
"Fazer's a gentleman," Teddie said with
emphasis.
"A gentle-man," mother repeated slowly."
"That is exactly what the word means.
And now, if there's any little gentle-man
about here, I'd like to see him kiKS me,"
added mother with a smile.
Teddie smiled, too, and throwing his
arms about his mother's ncrk, he kissel
her heartily.
"Muzzer, can I have a rosy apple?" he
coaxed. '
"Why, yes, dear," mother replied.
"Muzzer, dear, can't I have two?"
"Well, Just two If they are not too big."
Then, quite sat tailed. Teddie ran out
again to play.
But h kept watch over toward th other
house, and by and by he saw the little girl
coma out again.
Then very quietly he trotted over there,
and from her window mother saw him,
and saw what he held in his chubby hands
behind his back.
"Little girl," said Teddle, "I've somefing
nlc for you. Which hand will you take?"
Th llttl girl put her finger shyly to
her mouth.
"Which hand?" repeated Ted. And then,
as she a as too bashful to answer, he held
out a rosy apple to her.
"Zat'a yours," he said. "Ze biggest on.
And I's anuzzer for myself. And my
name's Teddle Clark, and I'd like to play
wla you."
The gift of the rosy apple quite won the
little girl, and soom mother saw them play
ing nicely together.
And when Teddle came In at dinner time
he said, "Sho's a awful nice little girl,
muxzer, and her name Is Tina, and she
likes to play all so games I like, too."
Minneapolis Tribune.
A Dlsh-Waahlas; Game.
One day at school during the afternoon
recess some of the girls In thn fifth grade
were sitting under the big maple tree In
the school yard.
"I Just hate to wash dishes," declared
Mamie Cary.
"So do I." said Grace Brown.
"And I dun't think there Is a rrlrl here
but has to wash dishes and wlre them,
too." continued Mamie.
"I do," "So do I." "And I." ''And I," an
awered a number of the (iris.
"And don't you all hue It?" asked Mamie.
"I like to wash and wipe dishes," said
Majorle Dean.
"Why. Majorle'" cried l.a'.f a dosen girls
at the same time.
"Yes, I do. It's lots of fun," replied
Ma.'crle.
"Then you must wash dtehra different
than I do, said Mamii. "I never s.iw ary
fun In It."
"Why do you like it, Majorle?" asked
Flora Gray.
"Tell us; please tell us," cried the other
girls.
"Yes, do." said Mamie.
"Your bands get so greasy."
"And th water's hot."
Then they llsunsd wall Major U began
"Well.'jr began Majorle, "I guess I used ta
dislike wash dishes as much as any ol
you glryii tin ono day mamma told me how
to playi a eajne while I was working. 1
make I V-Heve that the dishes belong to fanf
Hies thj dinner plate to one family, th
saucenf t0 another, the cups to aaother and
like thati Ant WDen I put them In tl
big dishim i j,iay they're at a plcnio and
ere all A.aviriK a good time. It helps you
to keep! them clean when you play they're,
real peJbpla. I havn't broken a dish sine
I bogajn triat way. Then when I put them
in the cupboard I play they're going home
from Uhe picnic. I used to Just hate to put
the dishes on the shelves and I never could
re"ieinber where, they belong, but now I
Justl pUt the families together first th
dlnjiVr plates, tln the fruit plates, then
the sVucers and it's the most tun."
"1 'ver thought of making a game of
it," fcij Flora. Our Little Ones.
ludillv 'rii
" 'flrf evening shadows
ti i f n ,"H tuJu' time,
y'Vn my baby, dressed
Cuddle Tim.
lows gather,
e, i know,
. A ,. ... . ... 1 a .wl
"tunes a-iomping to niu so;
Co ;r;es and ben of me to hold him
. hi my knets and "rcek-u-bye,"
A j the purpling sun sinks lnwir
In the gh amine Wi-biern lty.
' i he cudillrs to me nearer,
As the tin linlit h ttly g.owa,
iii'l across the du.-i.v portals
(Ghostly llii kerlr'.n hi. a low. tlnowef
And two i'i::!t d at mh atxut nit
Are clavp.'d tlghtei for a ki--Ali,
wits ii -her, ran r n eki.i''
Piuced all. .ut one's neck than tills!
And I clasp and hold him closer,
' Little touxVd head of Kol 1,
Ax he begs dad for a ""lory"
' Which a hunilnd tutus I've told;
ffjeiis lo havn m "1.11 It ovr"
Of the quuir.t lie.! I'l.lii.K Hood.
Or the bear M-tli.i' Inopy fun-ily
Llvinj in the i:. . -j. d.iik wood.
Soon the drooping, drx.plnj lashea
I Cover up two eye .' bio v." a.
And the tousled ! 1 Hold -n
On my breast t:n. r wer clown;
I)wer yet, till deep in . luinUrr,
l uddlea ties i,, , ... !, lies.
With the glory iff s nset
in his sleeping, dreaming eye.
In his eyes. In whose 'r luster
Mhlnes the b.iiutv of f dnAii.
Till I know th it Into lit amlai.d
My wee -colon bend l-s forio.
Ah. the sweetness of l:; pleasure.
Making lift r.ne frolden rhyme.
With a dlmled babe to fondl
When It 4rau onddl timet
V
JUs Jufr.-lao BTmna, ,
s