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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 13, 1906)
THE OMAHA" DAILY BEE: SUNDAY, MAY 13, 1900. Timely and Tersely Told Tales A T TUi: International Sunday Prhocil rnnvrntlon nt Louisville, Kv.. In answer to the roll cnll of states, reports Wfre verbally lven by tho varlmis state chair man. Whn the Ijcne Ptar state was railed a brawny specimen of southern manhood Stepped cut Into the a1le and with stri dent mice exrlnitncd: "We represent tho great state of Tolas. The flrwt white woman born In Texas Is still living; she now has a population of over three mil lions." There was a pause of bewilderment for a moment, and then a voice from the gal leries rang out clear and distinct: "Bend the woman out to Wyoming we need her." Everybody's Magazine. Quirk Heeovery. Congressman Tou of North Carolina tells of a visit to a court In his native state where public business was nearly Inter rupted by the cracking of peinut shells, for most of the spectators seemed to be eating the toothsome "goober." Finally the judge lost hi temper and announced that he would fine the next peanut cracker IS. All was quiet for awhile, when sud denly came a loud pop. The offender was brought before the bar, reprimanded and fined. "Tour honor," begun the man, In tones of humble apolntry, "I did not mean to offend against the dlirnlty of the court. 1 hesrd what your honor said about not popping peanuts and Indeed, sir, I did not violate the court's order." "What In tho thunder, then," roared the Judge, "were you doing to produce that; Infernal disturbance If It wasn't peanuts?"' "May it please your honor. It was a pe can." At this tho Judge nearly fell out of his chair, and the crowd Indulged In roars of laughter. "My friend." said the Judge, all 111 humor gone, "your plea Is well taken, for there la a fatal variance between tho evidence and the Indictment. Mr. Clerk, amend that order I made a While ago so as to Include a $10 fine for eating pecans In this court room." New York Tribune, Le.t Vnproiertedf Two sons of Levi were walking down the streets of a large city. One was a citizen and the other was a friend who had Just landed. A large. Imposing building was passed, and the newcomer Inquired what It was. His friend said: "It Is a horsepltal." "Vot is dot; vot do dey do mlt dem?" was the next question. "Veil, I dells you," said the first speaker. "Von of my neighbors had a sickness und he vas taken to dere horsepltal und cut open und his appendix was taken out." "Ach, hlmmol!" sakl the visitor, "vot a pity ho didn't have it In his vlfe's namo." Judge. Wanted II I in to gee His Father, When the late Bherman Hoar, a lawyer of recognized ability, left the law school and opened an office in Ponton, his father, Judge Hoar, was at the height of his legal reputa tion. The young man's first client was an Irish man, and the case, though only some small matter of a boundary line, was one that re quired the examination of a number of deeds and records. Mr. Hoar accordingly told his client to come back In two daya for his opinion. Tho Irishman left the office, evidently very reluctant at the delay. Turning at the door, he asked: "Couldn't ye give mo the answer tomorrow, Misther HoarT" "No, no," was the reply, "Come on Thursday." The client was ns far as the stairs. Then he turned and tiptoed back to the door and put hla head Inside, with a finger to his lips: "Whist!" he whispered. "Couldn't ye get to see your father tonight, Misther HoarT" Boston Herald. A Matter of nqalllbrtom. Dr. Torrey, the English evangelist who was recently conducting meetings In the west. Is a man of ready wit, which he uses with effect when Interrupted while speak ing. On one occasion in London a bibulous fellow arose and announced, waverlngly, that he did not believe everything In the fclble. "I don't see how anybody can walk on water," he declared. "Can you do it. Dr. Torrey?" "Well, I can walk on water better than I can on rum." Harper's Weekly. India Balked at the Altar. Albina Chavarrla, the Pueblo Indian, and Cora Marie Arnold are not married and probably will not be. Obstacles too great to be overcome barred the way in Denver and they have decided to "call It off" for awhile. Chavarrla will take the train to his home In Bartta Clara Tueblo. The chief bar to the marrlsae was that this strangely assorted couple were unabla to find a minister to marry them. Miss Arnold Insisted that the ceremony be per formed by an Episcopalian minister, and no minister of that denomination could be found who would unite them. Parson T. A, Vrsell, who has married many queer couples before, at first announced his wlU llngness to tie the knot, but later recon sidered and said that ha could not be a party to such a marriage. The same disappointment confronted them In Banta Fe, where they recently sought a minister to marry them. Feeling that any further attempt to And a willing minister would be vain, the couple decided to give up the thought of marriage. The two have expected some day to be married ever since they met In City Fark, Denver, eight years ago. Tragedy and dis appointment have followed the two during all that time. Two years ago when the marriage was about to be performed a tragedy occurred which put an end to the plans for the time. Mrs. Benter, at whose house the couple used to meet, was shot and killed by Frank G. Senter, her husband, who then com mitted suicide. Last year, when they were almost ready to be married. Miss Arnold's stepfather, Flank Wilder, committed suicide by Jump ing from a ateamer Into the Quit of Mexico. He was violently opposed to the marriage. Last week Miss Arnold determined to orlng the engagement to an end by hiarry ng Chavarrla. Bhe went to Santa Clara Pueblo and for some weeks resided at Es panola, a town near by. Falling to find anyone there to marry tlfem, the two went to Santa Fe and were snubbed by all the ministers. They then went on to Denver and received the same treatment. Miss Arnold is 52 years old and the Indian fiancee 65. ! All Wronz. Captain William Elllnger, the noted oyster grower of Chesapeake bay( said recently; "Once I dined with an English farmer. We had ham for dinner a very delicious ham, baked. The farmer's son soon finished his portion and passed his plate again. " 'More 'am, father,' he said. 'The farmer frowned. 'Don't say 'am, my son' he said, 'say 'am.' " 'I did say 'am,' the lad protested. In an Injured tone. " 'Tou said 'am,' cried the father, fiercely. ' 'Am's what it should be. 'Am, not 'am.' "In the midst of the squabble the farm er's wife turned to me with a little depre catory laugh, and said: " 'They both think they are saying 'am.' H New York Sun. Choate as an Interpreter. Rufua Choate was once trying a case be fore Justice Shaw, and one witness who took the stand was a minister. "What is your name?" asked Choate. "Eiekiel Lee," answered the witness. Justice Shaw, not hearing readily, leaned forward and asked Choate what the wit ness said. "He said, your honor, that his name was Eaekiel Lee," replied Choate. ' "What, Is your occupation?" continued Choate. "I am a humble candle bearer of the Lord," replied the witness. Justice Shaw bent over the bench and Inquired what the witness had said. Choate responded, aaylng that the witness had said that he waa a humble candle bearer of the Lord. "Of what denomination are Vou?" ques tioned Choate. "f am a Baptist," replied Lee. Again Justice Shaw leaned forward and asked what the witness had said, and Choate replied, "He said, your honor, that he was a dip candle." Boston Herald. You might be able to think of the very name we want for this new delicious bottled beer of ours, and just for putting that idea down on the coupon below and mailing it to us, you may get $500.00 in cold cash. An investment of a postage stamp might bring you this little fortune, and think what that could do for you. 1 W. Jill ( ' -' 0', II if I' I mm m 7TT ,T7 Mf We want to break away from the brewers' habit of naming their beers "Bavarian," "Pilsener," "Wiener," "Bohemian," "Muench ner" and the like, because this new beer of ours is different it is better than other beers. The names like the ones we mention are meant to indicate the kind of foreign beer they imitate. We want a name appropriate for our beer which contains the best qualities of all these beers without their heavy, sticky substance. We have carefully studied the taste of the public during all the fifty years we have been brewing beer in Omaha and now offer a beer to please the public not a beer that merely pleases us. You Owe It To Yourself To Try. Contest Closes May 21, 1906. ConditlOllS Contestants may suggest as many names as they desire. The names must be short, easy to pronounce and suggestive. No names ending in "ine" will be considered. The name must be one that we can register, so no proper name will do or no dictionary names except as descriptive of a certain quality of our beer such as "Velvet" or "Silk" to indicate its smoothness. Suggestions received after May 21, 1606 will not be considered. Open to Every Man. Woman and Child We have put our 50 years of' brewing experience into this beer, using nothing but the finest Bohemian hops the, best barley grown in the Northwest, the finest rice India produces and our pure, sparkling artesian spring water that gives this beer an individual flavor and tonic effect that no other brewer can imitate. It is light in color, light in weight and full of nutrition. We want a really good name one that will "hit the nail on the head." We make " This Liberal Oiler ol a $500.00 Prize so as to get the serious consideration of a great many people so let us have your suggestion. m i 7 MWM tli i Name Contest Dept. Fred Krug Brewing Co., Omaha, Neb. I submit the following names for your new beer., My name is. Address , City County. .State. Omaha Bee. Gossip and Stories About People of Note M Texans la Texas. "A native Texan Is almost an anomaly In Texas," said F. B. Wilkes at the Lexing ton recently. "That seems a strange state ment to make, but It Is a very true one, nevertheless. Tou know, Texas Is all com paratively new country, and most of the people there art from north, of that sec tion. It will be different In another gen eration, but today the first thing ono asks another on being introduced to him Is: Where are you from, slrT It Is told of a certain preacher out there that one Sunday when hla church was pretty full he asked: " 'How many native Texans are there In this congregation? ""Seven men arose. " 'How many men are there here who are not living under their own names?' "Not a man arose, but there was an aw ful period of suspense there for a while, until the pastor gave out the closing hymn." Baltimore News. Recent Progress Made in the Field of Electricity Electrical Engineering; In India. 1 r TT TJ IT1 a .vMnnflu a irvant I I fur electrical engineering In India.. I A f ...1 rn 1 1 KUa Lie. hun - V ' J 1 1 . IB UH II HII III. t with a capital of $10,00o.(Kin to construct a uydro-electrlcul power installutlun In Kashmir by humor ing the Jchlam rlvrr. The avallaUle power la practically unlimited and will be Utilised for an electric railway 200 miles In length to connect Abbotabad with Bprlnagar, to propel a large fleet of power ful electric dredges, which will be em ployed In safeguarding Kashmir against disastrous floods, and In reclaiming val uable rice producing tracts of laud from the marshes; to supply the motive power for many proposed factories and thus serve to oonvert Kashmir Into a great center of manufacturing Industry, and to Impart new energy to tho great Bilk in dustries of the province. Tower will also be supplied for local tramways and light railways, and for driving punkahs In the big military cantonments of northern In dia. The price of ekctrlc power will be less thun halt that of steam power. The Scheme Is said to be the blKgest of Its kind In the world, but It Is not likely to keep that prominence very long. y Savins Waste liy Eleetrlclty. Writing on the electrical methods for avlng the wastes the ICelcvtrtcal H.vlew makes the following pertinent remarks: "Never before hue so much attention been given to ways and means of reducing the losses la Industrial works of all kinds. Not only Is the operating machinery care fully studied fur opportunities of saving energy, but the methods of doing work are examined so as to deteet wasted time, and the cost of apparatus Is compared with the savings secured through it, la order that that solution which is the cheapest In the end may be adopted. Shop methods are being systematized and more expensive machinery is being Installed so as to increase the eillclcncy of the estab lishment as a whole, and thus reduce the cost of working, either by rutting down the total expense or by Increasing the output for a given operating cost. - Some times gains are male In both directions. In this Important Uevelopmtnt, electrical methods are playing a Urge part. The power-producing part of an establishment, by adopting lctrioal transmission, oaa be concentrated at one point, a It ehould be fur the most efficient working. The electric motor not only Increase the e in put and Improves the product of Individual machines, but renders possible a better ar rangement of the shop. The elect rlo light supplies the Illumination necessary for the best work during the dark hours of the day, and the telephone and telegraph have .wonderfully Increased the efficiency of communication. "Such developments In Industrial works naturally turn our attention lrto other fields. We aee the losses going on at all water powers, and seek to turn to useful purposes power that has been going to waste for ages. Again electricity oomes to our aid, enabling us to deliver, at points where It can be used, a large pro portion of the power which has heretofore been lost, and which could not be em ployed effectively by older methods. Every year records new Installations of this character throughout the different parts of the world, and capital is constantly seek ing for new water powers, which offer a profitable investment for development, and which either give rise to new industries or save fuel that would otherwise be con sumed. Any conservation of our fuel re sources today Is of great Importance be cause we are unfortunately still forced to employ Inefficient methods of convert ing them Into power. "The success of the hydro-electric de velopments naturally turns the attention of the engineer to other possible sources of power. One ef these is the waste tak ing place at blast furnaces. The value of the gas heretofore allowed to escape Is now fully realized, and probably within a few year this source of waste will be largely eliminated. Power distribution by electrical methods offers the solution. It has already been put Into practice at a good number of such establishments. The coke Industry offers another Illustration of a great loss of energy, but as yet we do not seem to be able to meet the condi tions existing at the coke ovens so as to make the utilisation of these gases profit able. That It will be done some day can not be doubted. It may be brought about by Improved apparatus or by the ever- Increasing demand for power or the con stantly rising price of coal. There are other Instanoee where large amounts of power are allowed to go to waste, either because we are not yet able to oonvert them into useful forms,' or because the methods at present available would prove too expensive, in general, it is the latter reaaon which forbids the undertaking. The value of these power source depend upon future developments." Mark Twain an "Easy Mark." ARK TWAIN told the spectators at the billiard tournament In New Tork recently what he knew about the game, and kept them laughing while he talked. He aid. among other things: "The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition. Once when I was an underpaid reporter In Vir ginia City, whenever I wished to pjay bil liards, I went out to look for easy marks. One day a stranger came to town and opened a billiard parlor. I looked him over casually. When he proposed a game I answered, 'All right.' "Just knock the balls around a little so that I can get your gait," he said, and when I had done so, ho remarked: "I will be perfectly fair with you. I ll play you left-handed." I felt hurt, for he was cross-eyed, freckled and had red hair, and I determined to teach him a lesson. He won first shot, ran out, took my half dollar and all I got was the opportunity to chalk my cue. "If you can play like that with your left hand," I said, "I'd like to see you play with your right." "I can't," he said; I'm left-handed." An Expert on Poison. Prof. Robert Ogden Doremus the noted chemist who dletl In New York a short time ago, aged 83 years, was a well known expert on the effects of poison. Prof. Doremus had been connected with the New York college and the College of the City of. New York, as Instructor In chem istry, for nearly elxty years, and for more than forty-five years he had occu pied the chair of chemistry In the Bellevue Hospital Medical college. He equipped the first laboratory In the United States for Instructing medical students In analytical chemistry. At least SO.Oui) young men have been his students. It was he who first showed the greitt practical value of chem istry in criminal cases. For thirty years he made analyses for coroners and district attorneys In the most Important cases, and through him many Important cases were decided. In 1862 and 1863, 'while In Pari developing the use of compressed granula ted gunpowder, he lectured before Napol eon III and his . generals. The French government adopted his system. Thirty year ago Prof, and Mrs. Doremus were, perhaps, the best known leader of society in New York. A Crnshlno- Shot. Winston Churchill, the English convert to liberalism, is making a reputation for sharp wit. His curt retort to a woman heckler, "Madam, I will not be henpecked," was the best thing of the recent cam paign. He' Is now raising a mustache. A fair lady was being taken in to dinner by the. budding politician. "Mr. Churchill," she said, "I like your politics as little as I like your mustache." It should have been a crushing shot, but not so to Churchill. His reply was on the Instant: "Madam, you are not likely to come In contact with either." Work and Pay of Anthore. "H. O. Wells In his youth often wrote 8.000 words a day," said a publisher, "but he can do this no longer. His output now Is but 1.000 words a day 300,000 words a year two books. George Moore has at times written 10,000 words a day, but as a rule he only writes 600 words, .and there are time when, for days at a stretch, he destroys every line written. Conan )oyle once wrote a story of 12,000 words at a sitting. It was one of the best of the 'Sheloek Holmes' series, too. This writer' average output, though, Is below 1,000 words a day. Clyde Fitch dors 600 words a day, Plnero does 3), Joseph Conrad does S00, W. W. Jacobs does 400, Hall Calne does 1,000, J. M. Barrle does 600, Henry James does 1,000, W. T. Howells does 1,000. The largest Incomes are made by Clyde Fitch, Tlarrle, Hall Calne, Plnero and Miss Corelll. For these writers It 1 a bad year that brings In less than ITO.OnO. Marian Craw ford. H. O. Wells and Conan Doyle make 125,000 or 830.000 a year. As for the rest not en make less than. 85,000, and In lucky years this minimum 1 tripled or quadrupled." Why Editors Are Wealthy. A KanBas editor eases his feelings In this style: "A child Is born In the neighbor hood; the attending physician gets 810. The editor gives the loud-mouthed young ster and the happy parents a send-off and gets JO. When It Is christened the minister gets 810, the editor gets 800. It grows up and marries. The editor publishes another long winded article and tells a dozen lies about the "beautiful and accomplished brldo," the minister gets 810 and a piece of cake and the editor gets snoo. In the course of time It dies. The doctor gets from 82S to 8100, the undertaker gets from 850 to 8100, the editor publishes a death notice of the death and an obituary two columns long, lodge and society resolutions, a lot of poetry and a free card of thanks and gets 80000. No wonder so many editors get rich." Illalne's Memory, Edward Standwood'a new biography of James O. Blaine says: "The few glimpses we get of him at this, the schoolboy period of his life, not only suggest the future politician; they show In something like maturity the traits for which he waa afterward famous. He knew every boy in school by name. Perhaps there was no accomplishment which more endeared him to casual acquaintance of the first meet ing. His reputation In this respect some time led people to expect too much," the same account continues, "He himself re- ! lated that he waa accosted at a town In Ohio, after one of his meetings. In tho traveling canvass of 1884, by a man who referred to his memory for faces, and asked if Mr. Blaine remembered him. "Evidently Blaine did not, but before his tongue made the confession already ap parent on his face the man said, with un concealed disappointment: 'Why, I wis in the crowd at the station when you passed through here In 1876, and stood right before you." "VISITING mm Ul lONEE Our Wedding Goods are the recognized standard, the engraving being done by skilled craftsmen. Insur ing perfect satisfaction and the latest and most fashionable sizes. On request samples will be sent by mall and orders executed Just as satisfactory as if ordered In person. fl. I. Root, Incorporated 1210 Howard Street Omaha, Nebraska lis 'iy rfsiiii 1 il. im i. v 'in yiurzzj . AN EVERY-DAY STRUGGLE Men and women of every occupation overtax the kidneys and suffer dally miseries when the kidneys begin to fall. Any work that is a constant strain on the back is bound to hurt the kidneys. The lifting, digging and planting of farm work, the constant bending over a desk or sitting at a sewing machine, working for hours on Jarring, Jolting wagons or railroad trains; the stooped positions and the reaching, pulling and heavy lifting of a hundred differ ent trades all these are hard on the back and must wear, weaken and In jur, the kidneys, because the kidneys are In the very part of the back that feels the strain. When the kidneys are sick every exertion sends a sharp, stinging pain through the back or loins, and you are weary and tired all the time. Many tasks,' like housework, that do not require great physical strength are very trying on the back and kidneys. That is why backache la so common. That is why so many women are un naturally weak and tired and sleep less. Doan's Kidney Pills have cured thousands of working men and women Every picture tells a story" have given them strong backs for their dally work. Doan's Kidney Pills help the kidneys to do their duty to eliminate the liquid poisons from the blood and to send pure, health-giving blood to the muscles and organs. We would sincerely advise every man or woman whose work is hard on the back to take an occasional dose of Doan's Kidney Pills. It will keep the kidneys well and the back strong, and keeping the kidneys well Is half the task of keeping the body well. OMAHA PROFF. Mads Johnson of 2202 Clark St., says: "The opinion I formed of Doan's Kidney Pills and expressed through our Omaha papers In the spring of 1899 has not changed, although it is I now seven years since I took the treat ment. I was laid off from work on ac count of backache at the time I com menced using Doan's Kidney Pills. Their use quickly ended the trouble, ' and because of this positive and prompt relief afforded me I did not hesitate to 1 recommend them. Any preparation . which performs the claims made for it j as affectively as Doan's Kidney Pills : deserves the endorsement of the pub- i lie." lis- Vc)' 3i j Wsy, xn,wmmm.m 9mnrm A GOOD TOAST DESERVES THE BEST DEER. THAT CAfy DE BREWED Always popular because It Is pleasant, refreshing and apetlslng, JETTER BREWING CO., So. Omaha Omaha Headquarters: HVOO P. BILZ, 14th and Douglas, Tel. 1643, Phone . Council DlufTs Headquarters: LFE3 MITCHELL, 10U MvJa Street, Tel. 80. 5u Zr3 life' P I DOAN'S KIDNEY PILLS. Bold by an de tor. Price 60 eent, FOBTEK-MILBUBJf OO, Buffalo, N. T., Proprietors. To and From P. sa wM 40 FCLLflW THE FU3 Rates, sailing lists, diagrams of steamers, beautiful illustrated and descriptive pamphlets, via All Reliable Ocean Liners for the asking. Wabash City Ticket Office 1601 Fanura Street or addreas Harrj L Uoares. C A. P. IL Wab. R. R. 0MJLHA. CEKLaSXJL P. & MediterrsvneaiL, European,