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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 29, 1906)
BY CATliSf W "WEILlLcF
Jound and tee-p
HE tnont mortorn of Rubalyats must dal with the most modern sub
ject. And Carolyn Wells Is the exceptional humorous woman who has
undertaken the Jovial task.
In characteristic fashion she dedicates her book (which Is to be pub
lished next week by Dodd, Mead & Co.)
"To the crank
That makes the machine to,"
6he calls the devotee with a "honk":
Come, fill the tank, adjust the valve and spring,
Your automobile garments 'round you fling;
The bird of time wants but to get away;
(I think that name's a rather clever thing!)
Why, if the soul can know this glorious game,
I All other stunts seem dry and dull and tame;
This- is the ultimate, triumphant j'oy,
Automobile elation is its name!
None but the motorist knows how true this rings. Bui there are other con
siderations that must have weight.
Tis only a beginner, young and green,
Who thinks he wants an odorless machine;
What fragrance is to rose or violet, '
So to the motor car is gasolene.
'Tis but a toy on which one spends a pileA
And brags about it for a little while;
Ambition rises and the foolish man
Sighs, and prepares to buy another style.
Of course, the first machine Is only a beginning, and It Is not the first step
which costs here but one car leads on to another. The motorist plunges In re
gardless. You know, my friends, with what a brave carouse
I put a second mortgage On my house
' So I could buy a great big touring car,
And run down chickens, dogs,, and even cows!
For it my future income did I owe,
And with mine own hand wrought to make it go;
"TJxe T)ird of Time "
.V- . .
fL- v. I .s .ti iivy inn ca
II F r '- S. a V TT"'. . .Ta.
. i--'- t'' "a V ii ii i n n i 1 1 ii - -m J
Not one will tell of it when he returns 1
As for ourselves why, we deny it too.
What! Out of oily nothing to invoke
A powerful something,- born of fire and smoke!
An unremitting pleasure if it goes,
An everlasting worriment if broke."
The chauffeur, too, may work with skill; you hope that he will mend the
thing; perhaps lie will.
Ah, love, could you and I with him conspire
To fix this sorry scheme of tilings entire,
Would we not take it all apart, and then
Remodel, with no danger of back fire?
Ah, make the most of time we yet may spend
Before we, too, into the dust descend;
Dust unto dust. Under the car to lie,
Sans coat, sans breath, sans temper, and sans friend!
But there Is possible relief from all these woes. ,
And that reviving herb whose tender green
1 Upon the julep cup is sometimes seen,
Ah, interview it lightly, for you know
You'll need your wits to manage your machine.
There Is another Intoxication than that flavored with mint
Why, if your car can fling the dust aside.
And flying, through the air of heaven ride,
Were't not a shame; were't not a shame, I say,
Within speed limit tamely to abide?
' What! Without asking, stop our speed immense?
And, without asking, jail ward hurried hence!
Oh, many a cop of this forbidding mien
Must rue the memory of his insolence!
nave you time for moralizing on this flying trip?
I sometimes think that every shining star
Is but the tail lamp of a motor car;
Why, evert aajvCydtd.
-STevOe wotil cl t.tve
And this was all the wisdom that I reap'd
"We cost like thunder and like lightning o!"
But tl,- uuii hliie Is n. t all. It la uly the if i;iiiulug of the outjay which
Blunt follow :
I had to luve.a Mi.ikeskin auto coat,
A L'Ub.er t"t inu:t, lined wi;h Thibet goat;
A Meering apron, and a keeping bag;
l"nr thcN? thini help a inotorer to mote.
AnJ Hi.'. i hi v luikiie in kit, aid hamper, swell,
Kcibi'ea iue U many a ha.d earned dollar 1 Well,
1 5crme-ti Tries -thiTvk. -fhaA pverv .Slvmi-h.'
Si is bui ie Toil Lamp a Xotor CKr.
I often wonder what the dealers buy
One-half so easy as the folks they sell.
Equipment of the best uud car the finest, the prosioets are sometimes real-
Indeed, with my big car I've run so long,
It seems to me there's. always something wrong;
Faulty ignition, or a blown out shoe,
Or may be the compression is too strong.
Then to the laughing face that lurks behind '
The veil, I lifted up mine eyes to find
Two pouting lips, demurely murmuring,
"I don't see why you ever bought this kind!"
Indeed, I've learned to treat it as a joke
When nuts work loose, or carburetors choke;
And then, and then the spring, and then the belt,
A punctured tire, or change speed lever broke!
A look of anguish underneath the car,
Another start a squeak a grunt a jar!
The aspiration pipe is working loose!
The vapor can't get out! And there you are!
lie stopped and tinkered, and the things he aid!
Why, even saints and sages would have cuss'd
If, speeding through the world their tires had bust!
Like foolish people now, who-e words of scorn
Are utter'd while-their rrouths are stopt with dust.
But the rescuer Is on the way. So why ileKpalr?
When suddenly nn angel shape va- seen
Approaching in an up to date machine,
Hearing a vel, which he uttered me,
And bade me :uell of it. 'Twas ga-olene!
The Miing of d:illy life owes something to tlie luotor cur, peihaps -and
there'll a moral, too, if we would mi- It.
Strange, is it not, that of the myriads who
Have empty tanks and know what to do,
' t . rj7 w1 -r.- l II -t
Which leap'd from eirth in its mad ecstasy,
And into pr.ce went -p?edin fa-t and far.
"And when at last yuu've mastered Lvlts and bolts,
When, with no fear of siJe slips, jars or jolts,
Your sixty h. p. racer licks up miles
At lightning speed turn on. a few more volts! 1
'I hen in your glorious success exult!
W hen your car plunges like a catapult,
Sii tight! Hold hard! I'as everything in sight!
And you viill be surprised at the result!
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