April 15. 1900.
Words of Praise Vell-Merited
XJY TV. WELL-KNOWN ARTICLI1
A MOTHER'S LOVE.
WHAT IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A MOTHER'S LOVE?
TIIE OMAHA ILLUSTRATED BEE.
SO much has been written by the standard medical au
thorities, of all the several schools of practice, in
praise of the native, or American, medicinal plants
which enter into the composition of Dr. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery, that in attempting to quote from the
various works on Materia Medica one hardly knows where
to commence, since they are so voluminous that only the
briefest and most imperfect reference can be presented in a
ehort article like this.
Briefly then let us say that the "Golden Medical Dis
covery " was named from the sturdy little plant Golden
Seal, the root of which enters largely Into its composition.
Besides this most valuable ingredient, it contains glyceric
extracts of Stone root, Queen's root, Black Cherrybark
Bloodroot and Mandrake root.
Finley Kllinjrwood, M. D., an eminent practitioner of
Chicago and Professor of Materia Medica in the Bennett
Medical College of that city, in his recently published work
on Therapeutics, says of Golden Seal root : "It is the most
natural of stimulants to the normal functions of digestion.
Its influence upon the mucous surfaces renders it most im
portant in catarrhal gastritis (inflammation of stomach) and
gastric (stomach) ulceration."
Many other authorities as well as Dr. Ellingwood extol
the Hydrastis (Golden Seal), as a remedy for catarrhal dis
eases of the nasal passages, stomach, bronchia, gall ducts,
kidneys, intestines and bladder. Among these, we may
mention Trof. John King, M. D., author of the American
Dispensatory; Prof. J. M. Scudder, M. D., in his "Specific
Medication" ; Dr. Hale of the Hahnemann Med. College of
Chicago; Grover Coe, M. D., of New York, in his "Organic
Medicines," Dr. Bartholow of Jefferson Med. College, Phila.,
and scores of other leading medical writers and teachers.
All the foregoing eminent authorities extol the curative
virtues of Golden Seal in cases of stomach, liver and in
testinal weakness, torpor and ulceration of bowels. Dr.
Ellingwood recommends it most highly, " In those cases of
atonic dyspepsia when the entire apparatus, including the
liver, is stagnant and inoperative." He also extols it most
highly in the many weaknesses and derangements peculiar
to women and says, "It is a most important remedy in many
disorders of the womb." Golden Seal root (Hydrastis), is
an important ingredient of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip
tion for weak, nervous, " run-down " women.
But to return to the " Golden Medical Discovery " it
may be said that Its curative properties are not wholly de
pendent upon Golden Seal, valuable as it is, as other equally
potant ingredients add greatly to its value and in fact are
not less important than the Hydrastis, or Golden Seal.
Iu all bronchial, throat, lung and kindred ailments,
Stone root, Black Cherrybark, Queen's root and Bloodroot,
each plays os important a part in effecting the phenominal
cures of " Golden Medical Discovery " as does Golden Seal.
All these ingredients have the endorsement of prominent
practitioners of all schools of medicine for the cure of dis
eases of the bronchia, throat and lungs.
Of Queen's root, Prof. King says j "An alterative
(blood : purifier) unsurpassed by few if any other of the
known alteratives. Most successful in skin and scrofulous
affections ; beneficial in bronchial affections ; permanently
cure bronchitis ; relieves irritations ; an important cough
remedy; coughs of years' standing being cured; aids in
blood-making and nutrition and may be taken without
harm for long periods."
Queen's root, Golden Seal root, Stone root, Black
Cherrybark and Bloodroot, all articles extolled by leading
practitioners of all the schools, as the very best of cough
medicines, are made especially valuable when combined with
chemically pure glycerine which greatly enhances the cura
tive action of all these ingredients in all bronchial, throat
and lung affections, severe coughs and kindred ailments.
Who can doubt the efficacy of such a compound, when
scientifically made up, as in Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery ? Who can doubt that it is a most effective rem
edy for the several diseases for which' its ingredients are so
highly recommended by the formost writers on Materia
Medica t
It is in the etira of the more chronic or lingering, per
sistent, and obstinate cases of bronchial, laryngial and lung
affections, attended by hoarseness and severe cough, which
if neglected or badly treated would generally have run into
consumption, that "Golden Medical Discovery " has won the
highest praise from all who have observed its marvelous
control over these and kindred affections. It is no cheap
compound made-up of trashy ingredients for free distribu
tion, that curious people may experiment upon themselves
as with the many fake nostrums so commonly sent out as
"trial bottles." It has a forty year record, embracing many
thousands of cures behind it, is sold at a reasonable price
and may be found in all drug and medicine stores in this
and many foreign countries.
It will be seen from the above brief extracts how well
"Golden Medical Discovery" is adapted for the cure of all
blood diseases, as, scrofulous and sktn affections, eruptions,
blotches, pimples and kindred ailments ; also that it is
equally good in all Catarrhal affections no matter where
seated, and for all cases of indigestion, or dyspepsia, torpid
liver, or biliousness and as a tonic and invigbrator in all
manner of weaknesses, and in nervous debility and prostra
tion the above extracts amply show.
Much further information as to the properties and uses
of "Golden Medical Discovery " and Dr. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription for weak women, will be found in a little book
let of extvActs from standard medical books which will be
mailed ret to any address on request, by letter or postal
card, sent to Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
All the several Ingredients of Dr. Pierce's medicines
will be found, from the reading of this little booklet, to
have the strongest possible professional endorsements and
recommendations for the cure of all the diseases for which
these medicines are recommended. No other medicines for
like purposes have any such endorsements, They are non
alcoholic, non-secret, safe and reliable.
"Who ran to lielp me when I fell
1 And would some pretty story tell.
Or kits the place to make it well,
My mother.
A MOTHER'S worries are many. She sometimes for
gets her own lxdily discomforts because of her over
powering love for the child. She becomes broken
down, sleepless, nervous, irritable and feels tired from
morning until night. Many mothers of experience can tell
yon that at such a time they have been relieved, benefited
and strengthened and put into proper health by taking a
prescription which their mothers had told them was the
best woman's tonic and nervine to be taken at such times.
Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription has enjoyed an enviable
reputation for over a third of a century. In all that time it
has sold more largely in the United States than any other
tonic for woman'a needs. Dr. Pierce made up this pre
scription from native medicinal roots without the use of a
particle of alcohol and for the single purpose of curing those
diseases peculiar to women and when there is a lack of
womanly strength to bear the burdens of maternal duty.
How few women come to this critical time with adequate
strength. The reason why so many women sink under
the strain of motherhood is because they are unprepared.
Is preparation then required for motherhood? asks the
young woman. And every experienced mother answers
"Yes." "I unhesitatingly advise expectant Mothers to
use Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription," writes Mrs. J, V.
G. Stephens, of Mila, Va. The reason for this advice is
that Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is the best prepara
tive for the maternal function. No matter how healthy
and strong a woman may be, she cannot use "Favorite
Prescription" as a preparative for maternity without gain
of health and comfort. But it is the women who are not
strong who best appreciate the great benefits received from
the use of "Favorite Prescription." For one thing its use
makes the baby's advent comparatively painless. It has in
many cases reduced days of suffering to a brief few hours.
It has changed the period of anxiety and struggle into a
time of ease and comfort.
A DUTY WOMEN OWE THEMSELVES.
"Good actions speak louder than words," so, too doe
the testimony of many thousands of women during a third
of a century speak louder than mere claims not backed by
any such record of cures.
Miss Emma Petty, iu6S. Olive Street, Indianapolis,
Ind., Past Vice-President, Daughters of Pocahontas, Min
neola Council, also Organist, South Baptist Church, In
dianapolis, writes: "For several years I suffered from female
weakness, which was a serious drain on 'my vitality, sap
ping my strength and causing severe headaches, bearing
down palna and a general worn-out feeling, until I really
had no desire to live, I had many medicines recommended
to me and tried many, but did not get permanent relief
until I took Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. In two
months I was much better and stronger, and in four month
I was well. Have had no more disagreeable discharge, no
more pain; so I have, every reason to praise ' Favorite Pre
scription.' I consider it without an equal for ills of women.
All the ingredients entering into Dr. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription are printed in plain English on each bottle
wrapper. Dr. Pierce thereby shows that he is not afraid to
tell his patients just what this medicine is made of. This
is not true of any other medicine especially designed for the
cure of woman's peculiar ailments. The "Prescription" U
also the only woman's medicine sold through druggists
that does not contain a large percentage of alcohol; it con
tains not a drop.
As an indication of the high esteem in which the medi
cal profession are coming to regard the several ingredients
of which Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, for weak and
ailing women is composed, we have room here to insert only
the following:
Dr. John Fyfe, of Saugatuck, Conn., Editor of tha
Department of Therapeutics in The Eclectic Rbvibt?
says of Unicorn root (Helonias Dioica) one of the chief in
gredients of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription: "A remedy
which invariably acts as a uterine invigorator and always
favors a condition which makes for normal activity of the
entire reproductive system, cannot fail to be of great use
fulness and of the utmost importance to the general practi
tioner of medicine."
"In Helonias we have a medicament which more fully
answers the above purposes than any other drug with whit A
J am acquainted. In the treatment of diseases peculiar to
women it is seldom that a case is seen which doeo not
present some indication for this remedial agent."
"The following are among the leading indications for
Helonias: Pain or aching in the back, with leucorrhcea;
atonic (weak) conditions of the reproductive organs of
women, mental depression and irritability, associated with
chronic diseases of the reproductive organs of women,
constant sensation of heat in the region of the kidneys:
menorrhagia ("flooding"), due to a weakened condition of
the reproductive system; amciiorrhccL, Ariring from or ac
companying an abnormal condition of the digestive organs
and cn annemic (thin blood) habit; dragging sensations in
the extreme lower part of the abdon:en."
If more or less of the above symptoms are present, no
invalid woman can do better than lake Dr. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription, one of the leading ingredients of which is
Unicom root, or Helonias.
MEN AND WOMEN
should have a medical book handy, for knowledge is power.
They should know about anatomy and physiology. They
should have a book that treats of the sexological relations of
both sexes out of and in wedlock, as well us how and when
to advise son and daughter. Has unequaled endorsement
of the press, ministry, legal and medical professions. The
main cause of unhappiness, ill-health, sickly children, and
divorce is admitted by physicians and shown by court
records to be the violation of the laws of self and sex. A
standard work is the People's Common Sense Medical Ad
viser, by R. V. Pierce, M. D. Send 31 one-cent stamps for
the cloth-bound book, or 2: stamps for the paper-covered vol
ume. Address Pr, R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Timely and Tersely Told Tales for Both Young and Old Readers
A Shock AH Around.
T AN unexpected Interruption in
an aftor-Ulnner speeoh Senator
Uule amlled.
vS'J'l rheso words, he Bald, "sur
imttJ print and confuse me. Thev
Live Wh't h oun lrl ot 1- re
ceived one night.
"This young girl sat In her bedroom with
a, novel. H,r halr wa, down anJ hep
Were In red slippers. Now and then, ex
tending her white arms, she yawned.
You see. It was very late, and down
ataira In the parlor hor older alster wua
entertaining a young man. She naturally
felt a deep Interest In the entertainment.
Sho was waiting to hear how It would
terminate.
"And at last there was a sound In the
hall, a crash aa of a closing door, and It
was plain to tha Impatient girl that th
young man had gone.
"She threw down her novel, and running
forth, peered over the balustrade down Into
the hall's Intense blackness.
" 'Well. Maude, she suld, "did you land
fclmr
"There was no Immediate reply to her
question. Tlwre was a silence, a peculiar
silence, a silence with a certain strained
Quality In It. Then a masculine voice re
plied: " She dd.' "New yortc Tribune.
Holding; the Qacrn.
Sammy broke suddenly Into the parlor
ne day and came upon his Aunt Mar
garet sitting on Mr. Brown'a knee.
, The surprised eouple hastened to pull
wool over the youngster's eye.
"We are rehearsing fur a little play,
Sammy," explained Aunt Margaret.
'yes, Samuel," at!dd Mr. Drown, with a
oueh of sentiment in hla voice; "I am now
holding the queen,"
"You must be., good at It." answered
Sammy aa he backed out of the room; 'I
heard Unci Jack say that you held four
queens last night" Upplncotta Magazine.
Went f tKc Ilottom.
Up among the hills of Sllgo, Ireland, lies
a small and mysterious lake much famed
in that haunted region. One day a noted
English professor, exploring tlie hills, was
asked by his native guide If he would not
like to see tha lake, "for Its no bottom
at all, sorr." .
"How do you know that, rat 7" asked
the professor.
"Wnll, surr, I'll tell ye." agreed tha
other. "Me own cousin was showln' tha
pond to a gentleman one day, aorr, and he
looked incredulous like Just as you do and
me cousin couldn't stand It for him' to
doubt his word, sorr, and bo he said: 'I'll
prove the truth of me word,' he said, and
off with his clothes and into the water he
Jumped."
The profeasor's face wore an amused and
qulsslcul expression.
"Yes, sorr, In he Jumped," continued the
guide, "and didn't come up again at all,
at all."
Hut," objected the professor, "I don't
see that he proved the point by drowning
himself,"
"la It drowned? Dlvll a bit drowned at
all he was. 8ure, didn't a cable come
from him next day In China askln' for hla
olothea to be sent onT"
Lost llallroad.
"A champagne dinner once coat St. Jo
seph. Mo., the I'nlon Paolflo railroad."
said W. H. Smith or Maryvllle while In a
reminiscent mood the oth-r night. "The
Vnlun Paclfto aid bill was up for consid
eration in congress In the early '60s. It
fixed St. Joseph as the eastern terminus
of tha road. While the bill was under con
sideration a banquet waa held at St. Jo-
iirasoTis oudedI
CROCKED Or CLIIH FPFT r,etr. aid at any reasonable are. ess be made straight,
wnuuaiu Ul liLUD rCCI satural sad tul. lb. m.ihode uee3 are mlldi no eetilug,
SO PliatOf tSrtl. SO aevM e nelnlnl tMUm.nl n an bl.i k ...4 .h ...nil la -. m .
PUTTS PKFiC wlu treated 1 tlai tble Inetltullon', will retail la bo defaraiilji
I ui I ulOLMO( partial will ale-are ! preheated: tha healtk and etrenirth of tha
pattest is at onoe bupruvedj the gruwih But Interfered vita, fluur part to never oaoU.
SPINAL CURVATURE ela.'.'.'.XVoia
by tbe saw sod Improved moibcxla la uee Serai
planar rarla, (all or leather Jauseta sre aeer
tailo.sd. JVaoioa of peilebt recently cared,
sier sll ordinary metbuU hare tailed to adord
ruller, will be furulaliod oa application,
HIP nKFl'.F cared without mrgleel
nil UIOtMau eperatloaa or eouflalug tho
pattern to bad. Atieoeeeea, shortening deform
ity and luaa of motion ehosld always be pre
vented, and. If already preaent. oan nasally be
eurod. TUo methods Qaod hare to the core of
It In Diaeace la all Its stages are radically dif
ferent and more aoeoeeaful than thoae generally
omplujud. Write fur Information. ,
PARALYSIS and RESULTING DEFORMITIES
for ao olaae of alDletiuna baa creator prepare,
tion for auoceaafnl treatment been made. De
formities of the llmba, joluta, or foet, resulting
from pareJyele, eea always Le oo erected without
aemleal operations or sorer treatment, her
Strata ahottld aeTer be neglected; children serur
outgrow It; It Is sot Incurable.
bid, uaniii, Llmba sad deformities retainer from
Kneamsiiain are eacetaafully tree ted wlihuui pain.
Send For This Book
IT'S FREE FOR THE ASKING
II tells of aa eiperlenre f over M Tears la the ireetueal of
DeforBiiti.a and rarelTeia and how thee conditions eaa be
eorreaied wltUool surirtcal oi.eraloua, piair Pari auultoeiloa
br paiuful lrMiaie of any kitd. Lr It.
This Is th only Utoroagkly oqatppod InstltoUosi de
voted so the cur lad Mmntiai ef tleforsniu. Ksara.
luauoo tad MBsetltatloa by snail r la pcraoat. fro ( mil
t barge. Heferesoca f uruUlied ou appUeattiosu f aatphleta
Bea.1 ob rque4
THE L. C. MoLAIN ORTHOPEDIC SANITARIUM
sioo riise strcct. sr. touts, mo.
CROCKED and DISEASED KNEES
nj-"'-.- '
seph. It waa attended by many ot the
leading men of the town. After thoy had
filled up on chumpagne a question arose
as to which flag should float from the city
hall. The confederate flag waa finally de
cided on and in the morning the Stars and
Stripes were hauled down and the Stars
and Bora hoisted. The news reached Wash
ington that very day while the Union Pa
cifl bill was still under consideration. Sen
ator Pomeroy moved that the name St.
Joseph, Mo., be stricken from the bill and
Omaha, Neb., be substituted. The amend
ment carried and St. Joseph thereby lost
tha Union Pacific" Kansas City Journal.
Inspiration.
The Rev. Edward A. Morton of Boston
told this story at a recent banquet of the
Ancient and Honorable Artillery company
In Boston: "A woman went marketing In
Faneull hull," said the minister. "She
stopped before a stall where were displayed
fowl bo aged an to seem almost unsalable.
'What do you sell thoee for?' Inquired the
woman, wondering if the proprietor would
dure call them chickens. 'We usually soil
them for profits, marm,' was the curt re
sponse. 'Oh,' said the woman, 'I thought
they were patriarchs.' "
A Lively Run.
James B. Connolly, the writer of New
England deep sea flailing stories, who ac
companied Captain Bohlln in the achooner
Fleur-de-Lys on the truns-AtlantIc yacht
race last summer, told an Incident the
other night that- occurred when the gal
lant little vessel waa In dock on the other
side, and the crowd, which had heard the
story of its rough voyage, came down to
admire and ask questions.
"Is It true," asked one, "that you sailed
with part of your deck under water all the
way across?"
The mate beckoned to one of tha crew.
"Oo aloft with a bucket of fresh water,"
he said, "and wash the salt oft the mast
heads." New York Post.
The Deacon's Deal.
Or. W. Robson Notman, pastor of the
Fourth Presbyterian church at the corner
of Rush and Superior streets, Chicago, is
fond of a good story. He dropped in at a
Christian Endeavor social for a few mo
ments one evening, and the president,
catching sight of him, callod upon him for
Entertaining Little Stories for Little People
A
An Indian I.rgend.
N Indian Btory that has been
handed down and Is still believed
by many Indian tribes Is one
about the transformation of
leaves In lb birds. Lxing years
atio, mion the world was young, the great
spirit went about the earth making It
beautiful. Whenever his feet touched the
ground lovely trees and flowers sprang up.
All summer the treea wore their short
green dresses. The. loaves were very happy,
nf)d they sang their sweet songs to the
breete aa It pasced them. One day the
wind teld them the time would soon come
when they would have to fall from the
treea and die. Tills mads the leaves feel
very bad, but they tried to be bright and do
the best they could so as not to make the
mother trees unhappy. But at last the
time came, and they let go of tho twigs
and branches and fluttered to the ground.
They lay perfectly quiet, not able to move
except as the wind would lift them.
The great spirit saw them and thought
they were so lovely that he did not want to
seo them die, but live and be beautiful
forever, so he gave to each bright leaf a
ralr of wings and power to fly. Then he
called them hla "birds." From ths red and
brown leaves of the oak came the robins,
and yellow birds from the yellow willow
leaves, and from bright maple leaves he
made the red blr1; the brown leaves be
came wrens, sparrows, and other brown
birds. This Is why the birds love the trees
and always go to them to build their nests
and look for food nnd shade.
$
Doggie Knew What it Meant.
A dog trainer says that there Is on
sound which a trick dog never forgeta. It
is tha exclamation "Ip!" very short and
sharp.
In teaching a dog to turn somersaults,
we will say, a harness Is generally used,
nd when the trainer says "Ip!" over goes
the dog, whether it wants to or not. After
a while It learna to associate the sound
with the motion, and gradually the harness
Is discarded.
Walking along one of the Philadelphia
streets recently, this trainor passed a dog
that he recognised as a public performer.
Just for fun the trainer aald "Ip!"
Quick as a flash doggie turned a back
somersault on the sidewalk. The passersby
were openly amused, while the dog trotted
gaily off with the air of one who has done
his duty.
Barefooted Bravery.
A thrilling scene was witnessed In
Twentieth street, between I and J. in Ban
Francisco, some few years ago. Th people
In. that neighborhood were horrified to see
a team of horses come dashing along the
street, drawing a carriage. In which was
seated beautiful girl not mora than I
years old. The carriage bounced along
the rough street, and everybody expected
to see it overturned every instant. The
little tot held fast to the aides of the
vehicle with a bravery that was surprising
In one so young. Women screamed, some
nearly fainted and strong men remarked
that the child could not escape death.
Presently a barefooted boy, who could not
have been over 12 yeare old, was seen to
dash right in front of the swift-running
horses, grab one of them by the bridle and
cling deeperately to It. He Jerked the
horses and yelled to them, and finally
managed to turn them Into a fence corner,
where they were stopped without any
damago being done. It was a most daring
feat on the part of the boy, but those who
gathered about the carriage cheered the
brave lad to th echo.
Johnny's I -a at I.lttle Word.
Johnny and his father were Bitting
around the reading table after a good din
ner. Johnr.y was busy studying a spelling
lesson In words ending in "ous," while his
father read the evening paper.
"Oh. papa," called Johnny. "What does
bilious mean, please?"
"Why, it means 'sick,' feeling bad, you
know full of bile."
Johnny was satisfied and hent over tils
book once more. Father began on his
paper again and everything waa still for
a few minutes.
"Papa," called Johnny then.
"Now, Johnny," ald his father, "you
must not bother papa while he his reading
his paper. But now that you have In
terrupted me, what Is It that you want to
know?"
"I Just want to know what 'plenteous'
means, please, papa."
"Now you ought to know what 'plen
teous means, Johnny. It means a whole
heap, abundant r full of plenty, don't
you see? Now go on with your studies and
don't bother me with your foolish ques
tions." Johnny was a little hurt and kept very
still for some time, studying his lesson
without looking up.
Finally he began to twist around In his
chair and clear hla throat In an effort to
attract his father's attention, but father,
was very deep In his paper and did not
look up.
"Papa," snld Johnny, timidly.
Papa kept on reading and made no an-aw-r.
"Papa!" colled Johnny, In a louder tone.
Father crumpled Ms paper up and looked
at Johnny hard. "Johnny," he said, se
verely, "I teld you not to bother me with
questions while I am reading. Now if you
spak to me agiln I shall have to aend you
out of the room."
"Well, papa, can't I ask you Just one
little word?"
"Tsa, Just ob. word and remember this
is the very lust."
ell, papa, if I was full of apple pie,
would I be pious?"
Tale of a Tea Table.
Betsy Bobbity baked a bun
A beautiful, big, bevutcmng one,
bo light that it lalny shone witn pride,
Witu ouiranls a-plenty aula insiue.
Patsy Poppity peeled a peach,
A pear m.u a piuia and put mem each
In a liny pie t. mi a troeied top,
Aa line as luoae in tile buHer a eiiup.
Three little maids to the pantry flew
'lo look for tlie disl.ea pins, una bme.
And a teriibie tiageuy nuppi-nea next
And my: but tim luiee lit no muida were
Vexed!
Young Puppety Pup cam racing by,
And tne little red table caugnt me eye;
'1 lien never a bit ho cured not he
'liutt he hadn't been asaed lu In dainty
tea;
But he ate up Betsy Bobbity's bun,
With all of tne currant every one,
'Hie three llttlo pk-s ul a single bile,
And everything else Inei was In sight!
Dora Doppity cried, "Dear me!
W'hut a capital liui to give a tea!"
And aha put tne little red table out,
W tin three Utile chairs set round uuout.
And Betsy Bobbity's Baby Blue,
And Patay Popplly'a Pieoious i'rua,
And Uor Doppity s Ijauy iiee
Vt ere oeked lu tomo to u cnaiiiilng tea.
But never a word the three guests said.
As they gaxed with a aml.e right slrailit
ahead;
And never they showed the least surprise,
AUhuugn, right under their very eyes,
The rude and ravenous Puppety f.
Ale all that they were to have had for
tea!
Which Bhows us plainly that Baby Blue,
And Palsy Dee, and the precious Prue
Were well brought up and clearly knew
That tho proper, ladylike thing to do
Wats never to inak remarks at tea,
Whatever they ciianced to hear or seel
Bl, Muhulaa.
$
A Strange Perch.
A party was once crossing the plains,
when the advance guard sent back word
that the first buffalo was In sight. Many
amateur hunter eagerly volunteered for
the chase and soon quite a squad of men
were traveling at a good round gallop to
ward the supposed game.
On approurhlng the animal it was found
to be an old lame ox, which had been
turned out by some caravan to die. The
disappointment which prevailed in this
crowd of neophyte hunters, on discovering
this mistake, tan be better imagined than
described.
The poor ox apparently had no Idea of
giving up the ghost quite yrt. He was In
good health and spirits and showed aluna
of bring pleased to sea a while man autn.
The little birds of the prairies had used
him as a perch. This office he appeared
quite accustomed to perform, for he did
not disturb the flock that waa then occupy
ing hla back. How ha had ascapvd the
wolves was a miracle.
a talk, much to the surprise of the minis
ter. This was the story he told as an Illus
tration of his feelings:
"I am reminded of the good old deacon
who was wont to attend prayer meeting
very regularly, but who always chose the
hour as a time for a aomfortable nap.
The old man, likewise, was fond of a good
game of cards. He was taking hla usual
snooxe during the prayer service one even
ing when the minister said:
" 'Brother Blank, will you please lead In
prayer?"
"Brother Blank was too far In dream
Ian dto hear, and the fact was a source
of much embarrassment to his good wife.
" 'William,' she whispered, giving him a
nudge, 'William, wake up; It's your time
to lead.'
" 'Why, no it Isn't,' said William, aleeplly,
'for I Just dealt. "Record-Herald.
The Three "G'm."
8. 8. Breese Stevens tells of an old col
ored minister whom he heard preach la
Richmond, Va., not long ago.
"It seems," says Mr. Stevens, "that th
church treasury was represented by a
deficit, and on thla occasion the worthy
colored clergyman's discourse waa directed
toward urging hla congregation to make
their donations a bit more liberal. Hla re
marks, In part, were something like this:
" 'Now, dls heah ch'ch needs Jds' three
things, an' dey all begins wld "Q." Pry'l
grace, grit and greenbacks. De good Lawd
sends us grnce; I'ae got do grit, and yo' ma
brudders, Jes' got ter rustle 'roun' fo' Ue
greenbacks.' "New York Times.
Father' Forgotten Classic.
William hud just returned from college
to spend his spring vacation. One of the
things most noticed by the young man
wua Fanny, ths daughter of SI Perkins,
a near neighbor, who had during Ills ab
sence changed from a tomboylsh school
girl into a very beautiful young woman.
It aeems his father had also noticed th
change and remarked to hla son:
"William, have you noticed how old Bl
Perkins' daughter Fanny has shot up?
Seems to me she's gettln' to be a Jolly
handsome young critter!"
"She certainly Is, father," said William,
enthusiastically. "Fanny Is aa beautiful aa
Hebe!"
"Where's your eyea, boy?" objected th
father. "She's a durn eight punier than
he be! Old 81 la as homely as BUI Jones'
bull pup." Harper's Weekly.
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