2 HIE OMAHA DAILY BEE: SUNDAY, FEHRUAUY 25, 1900. Tim Omaiia Sunday Dee E. KOBE WATER, EDITOR. PUBLISHED EVERT MOKNINQ. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Tally Bee (without Sunday), one year.. M OO Daliy Km and Sunday, one year ' Illustrated Wee, one tar J- Sunday Bee, one year Saturday Bee, one year 1 " DELIVERED BT CARRIER. Dally Bp (Including Sunday), per week. .173 Dally Wee (without Sunday), per week..l3 livening Bee (without Sunday), per week ! Evening Bee (with Sunday), per week.. loo Sunday Bee, per copy 50 Address complaints of irregularities In de livery to City Circulation Department. OFFICES. Omaha The Bee Building:. South Omaha City Hall Building. Council Bluffs 10 Pearl Street. Chicago 1640 Unity Building. New York 150 Home Life Ina. Building. Washington 601 Fourteenth Street. CORRESPONDENCE. Communication relating to news and ed itorial matter should be addreaaed: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order Sayable to The Bee Publishing Company, nljr J-eent stamps received as payment of mall account. Personal checks, except on Omaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted. THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss.i C. C. Rosewater, secretary of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, aays that the actual number of full and complete copies of The ' Dally, Morning. Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the month of January. 1906. was as follows: 1 SU.MO 17 at. BOO t 81,TO IS Ul.TTO I si, rm i 8i.4in 4 81.TT0 82.1240 1 81.KIO 21 80.UM 1 82.MUO Ti 81.40O T ao.ioo n 8i. two 1 81.T80 24 81.4711 Sl.tllK) 26 81.8711 10 32.0UO 28. 81.410 11 8i.i 17 aa.aao 12 81.IVJO 28..,.. 80.0N0 U 82,4441 29 81.S150 14 21),u:m) ao ai.auo 15 81.K70 U 81,500 16 81,770 Total 1,003.400 Less unsold copies..., 11,0.1ft Net total sales 0t2.451 Dally average 82,01 0. C. ROSEWATER. Secretary. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this list day of January, lDvi. (Seal) M. 11. HUNGA'IB, . Notary Public. WHEN Ol'T OF TOW!. Subscribers leaving; the city tem porarily should bave The Oca mailed to them. AUdreaa will be changed as often a requested. The Funatnu cauul will be equipped wltlt locks, but If all goes well It will be always open to all the world. Mr. Vanderbilt aliuuld have remem bered the Texan's advice aud not bare pulled bis gun unless be iuteuded to UKO It Bad air way be discovered la the St. Got hard tunnel, but Switzerland can not be considered up to date In railroad ing until water la found in the stocks. . The railroad rule question is fast ap proaching that point where United States senators who bave been sitting on the fence will bare to crawl down on one tide or the other. With over $1)21.000 in his strong box when he failed, J. Whlttaker Wright proved himself a tyro at the game com pared with some American financiers not. so widely advertised. - If Idaho will abolish the "inner circle" of the federation of miners and the federal government dissolve the "inner circle" of captains of high finance life would be more tolerable in that state. The next man who steals a sack of flour in Omaha within reach of the erlmlnnl ftfvlalnn . tt IKa .Hut.!. will have to serve at least one term in the bakery before he is allowed a loaf. . When those 20.000 miners in the southwest go on strike we should have OUr Coal bias full, for n onnl atrlko In Kansas means' more to Nebraskans than total suspension of business in the an i. ... i TKa MnM. .1 I . n . At 1 1 V uc uc it cuuur ui me .xeuranita in dependent, which for years has been practically the otHelai organ of the populist party in this state, is vouched for as a "sterling democrat." Shades of Tom Tibbies! From the fact that it bus provided hlra with a comfortable job at satlsfac tory wages during good behavior I'nul Morton could not be expected to find much fault with the report of the Arm strong committee. General Orosvenor of Ohio may be retired from congress, but that will only tfrl -n tit.n ...skba (.. . ...... I li . . 1 . aw uiui umiv uuic w ai'i'iy ma luteins to his farorlte field of political arithme tic. An election would not be the rea thing without Orovenor's politico weather forecast. Aud now farmers are called upon to boycott all but co-operative elevators. The order will le as effectively obeyed as the order to them to hold their corn, which was one of the master strokes of the defunct farmers' alliance. .- Senator Klkius sees a "solecism" in "the reporting of the Hepburn bill by a democratic Senator. He will probably ' consider It a real breach of courtesy , should the senate decide to pass the bill without permitting him to amend it to edeath. t The selection of Hot Springs, Ark., for the nest meeting of the International Association of Chiefs of Folic indicates , that these officers of law and order hare a good Idea of combining pleasure with business by going to a place where they can Inspect the tiger in Its Inir. 1. The supreme court of Nebraska has ruled that the law prohibiting the sale of liquor to minors does not make It unlawful for a minor to buy liquor for the use of another xrou, provided be Informs the liquor seller of that fact "jJut what U the little boy lies) AX APPEAL FROM CAESAR When Judge Munger rendered his de cision dissolving the Itijuuctlon to pre vent the collection of taxes levied Under the state appraisement upon the Union Faciflc and Burlington railroads It was expected that the railroads would gracefully render unto Caesar what be longed to Caesar and pay their taxes In Nebraska without further contention. There was absolutely no excuse or pollia- tlon for the attempt of the railroads In question to coerce the people of Nebraska by the starvation policy, or to seek to evade their Just share of the burdens of government. There Is not another state In the union Whose people have so tamely submitted for more than a quarter of a century to arbitrary taxation on the part of the railroads lit the shape of excessive tolls levied upon their products. Never In the history of Nebraska hove the railroads been more prosperous and never have their earnings approached the enormous volume of the pnst two years. With nearly double the equipment and with all the marvelous Improvement In facilities of handling the products of this state, the railroads have been fre quently unable to meet the demnud for locomotion and cars. Although this enormous Increase in their earnings has correspondingly Increased their value in the markets of the world, they still have the hardihood to withhold their shnre of the tax levy to meet the ordinary ex penses of state, county and school gov ernment and deliberately seek to exas perate the people of this state Into an other political revolution. It Is not a wild presumption to predict that that revolution Is not very far off and when It comes to a test of strength between the people of Nebraska and the railroads, the railroads with all the tre mendous power they wield will find themselves overwhelmed Just as they have been In Wisconsin nnd other states. In the irrepressible conflict which they are forcing upon the people of this state the battle will not involve simply the right of the state to assess and tax the railroads in proportion to their value, gauged by their earnings and market price. Thoroughly aroused the people of Ne braska will stop nothing short of com pelling the railroads to reduce their freight rates to the level of the rates that prevail In the adjacent states of Kansas, Iowa and Missouri. Even the maximum rate bill passed in 1803 to fix the freight rates In Nebraska 30 per cent higher than those prevailing In Iowa will be repudiated as outrageously too high. The railroad magnates who have ruled Nebraskn through corrupted legislators and subservient state officials will dis cover to their sorrow that they have made a great mistake when they ordered the Nebraska tax case appealed to the supreme court of the United States. Long before that tribunal has had on opportunity to pass upon the questions at Issue the supreme court of public opinion will have rendered its decision In Nebraska through a popular verdict at the polls that will make further ap peals to Caesar unnecessary. A SUCCESSFUL ADMIX IS Tit A TIOX. The Fostoffice department Is closer to the people than any other department of the government. Therefore the char acter of its administration is a matter of great importance and Interest to the public. Fostmaster General Cortelyou has been at the head of the department for nearly a year and In that time be has instituted some reforms that have already proved beneficial to the service and will be more so In the future. Re ferring to this the Washington corres pondent of the Boston Transcript points out that Mr. Cortelyou has striven to put the department on a business basis and to a lurgo extent has been success ful. He has reduced the Influence of congressmen in postal affairs to a inlal inuin. Fourth-class postmasters have been taken out of polities absolutely and presidential postmasters have been made to realize that the service they render the government, and not the service they render the politicians, will In the future govern when the question of retaining them In office comes up. Congressmen have had fair warning that merit it the rule In the choosing of post masters. The department has been completely reorganized under Mr. Cortelyou. The work of reorganization, begun last De cember, is. now an accomplished fact. Very soon after entering upon his duties he found that a great weakness was the division of authority over certain In timately related branches of the service. He brought together, as pnrts of the same working organization, such branches of the department as were In terdependent. A radical change, was made in the distribution of duties and the results have Justified this action. It U stated that the postmaster general Is now devoting a large share of his time to the reorganization of the rural free delivery service, the first Important change in which will go luto effect at the beginning of July. At that time the supervision will pass from rurul superintendents to postofflce inspector. The postmaster general Is understood to hare other well-defined plans for im proving the postal organization. Two hundred and eighty thousand persons are now employed In it and Mr. Cortel you believes a private business concern would maintain closer relations with its omployes than the postal department maintains with these men and women. He therefore Is gradually moving to se cure tills friendly authority over the a i my of employes and hopes to in time estubllsh a definite system of super vision over the whole working force. Another almof Mr Cortelyou is to put the rostofrlce department' on a self-sustaining basis and. the house committee on postofflces'ltud postroada Is now lay Ing the groundwork for corrective legls latlon with a view to making the service self-sustaining. Mr. Cortelyou has shown In the office of ostinaster general a very high order of executive nbflity and it Is unquestion able that the service has been much Im proved since he took charge. Some things necessary to place It upon a thorough business bnsis have not yet been accomplished. Some difficulties have not been overcome. But that they will le Is not to be doubted. Having de cided upon a policy the postmaster gen eral has the persistence and patience to carry it Into effect. The excellent record he has already made will be much ex tended before the expiration of his term. XEtT YORK'S DECLIXIXO CREDIT. I,u st week New York City 4 per cent bonds sold for the average price of 108.052. It appears that this was a lower price than 3Vd per cent bonds of that city have been sold for during the past ten years. According to the Sun this decline In New York's credit is due to the municipal ownership agita tion. It says that Inquiry as to the suc cess smaller cities of the country have had In disposing of their bonds recently shows thut many of these smaller cities where municipal ownership has not be come a fad as yet have sold their securi ties at prices higher than New York, On the other hand, the same investiga tion has shown that thirty cities, of Europe that have taken up municipal ownership have seen their bonds de preciate by thirty to forty points since they embarked on such a policy. The Sun further says that as a result of the steady drop In the price of bonds of the city, the values of estates have been considerably offected. How much the agitation for munici pal ownership has to do with the decline of New York's credit it would be ex ceedingly difficult to determine, but doubtless this Is not the only Influence and perhaps not the strongest The po litical conditions ' in the metropolis. It seems reasonable to assume, have no little to do with the fall in the price of bonds. The strong socialistic tendency there, as shown In the large vote polled by Hearst for mayor, Is certainly calcu lated to make capitalists cautious In buying the city's bonds. The possibility of the city falling under the control of a socialist administration may well cause some apprehension as to the future value of Its Iwinds. In oil probo billty this has more to do with the de cline noted than has the municipal own ership agitation. SEXATOIt DOLLITER'S POSITIOX. Senator Dolllver is to be congratulated on the courageous and firm stand he has taken in not only refusing consent to the emasculation of the Hepburn railroad rate regulation bill but in voting with the democratic minority of the Inter state Commerce committee to have the bill reported back to the seuute without amendment. Corporation politicians, who delight in parading their republicanism, and cor poration organs that sail under the re publican flag, will assail Senator Dolllver ond taunt him with affiliation with the common enemy and especially with Fltchfork Tillman, but honest republi cans who do not wear the brass collar will respect and honor him for his manly attitude In championing a meas ure demanded by the great majority of the American people. Honest republi cans who believe in the square deal will applaud Senator Dolllver for braving the odium that might attach to his tem porary affiliation with Senator Tillman In a good cause. Itallroad regulation Is not a party issue. It concerns nil the people and is favored by oil the people regardless of political creed or section of country. It is the burning issue of the hour and must be met and settled right by con gress and the president. If Fresident Boosevelt and the present congress do not settle it right, the American people will see to it that the next congress and the next president shall settle It right. It Is no disgrace or dishonor for a republican to stnnd up in congress shoulder to shoulder with democrats in support of a measure designed to curb the power of rapacious public carriers and confine; them within their orbit while at the same time safeguarding their patrons against excessive exac tions and ruinous discriminations. The man who divests himself of partisan prejudice uud even sacrifices party ad vantage to accomplish such a great re form has nothing to fear from partisan crimination or vituperation. HUME RULE OUTLOOK How far the present British ministry will go toward granting Ireland home rule no one can foretell with any degree of certainty, but the Indications ore favorable for at least a decided improve ment lu the administration of affairs In that country. The statement made In the king's address at the opening of Parliament, which of course was a ministerial utterance, that there was under consideration plans for Immedi ately Improving and effecting economies in the system of Ireland and for Intro ducing therein the means fur ussoclatlng the people with the -conduct of Irish affairs, was certainly eucouraglng to the friends of home rule. That It was re garded as significant by the opposition was shown lu the amendment proposed to the addres. declaring that the loyal ists In Ireland were alarmed by the statement In the speech from the throne, and of still greater significance was the overwhelming vote KW to 88 by which the amendment was rejected. Mr. James Bryce, chief secretary for Ireland, replying to the unionist sup port of the proposed amendment, de clared his unutterable adhesion to the principle of self-government for the Irish people. He said the speech from the throne meant nothing more or less than what the premier and other of the liberal leader had outlined in every public utterance prior to the late gen eral election and this had been approved by the English constituencies. Mr. Bryce declared that home rule had no terrors for him and that the demand for It was one which no constitutional gov ernment could deny. This statement by the man who will mould and direct whatever remedial legislation Is applied to Ireland's political and economic grlev ances was of the utmost significance, Amounting to an almost positive declara tion that Irish home rule will be a fea ture of the administration of Sir Henry Complell-Bonnerman. While the ministry may not grant Ire land absolute home rule, the utterances noted very clearly foreshadow that the Irish people will have a voice In the dis position of their own affairs hereafter and perhaps that Is all they really de sire. One thing is evident and that is that home rule for Ireland Is no longer the bogy It was when Gladstone Intro duced his home rule bill and there was organized the conservative-unionist party to overthrow the liberal lender. A FAR-RE ACHIXQ IXVESTIOATIOX. The Investigation ordered by congress of the action of certain railroads in carrying products owned by themselves under conditions supposed to hamper the shippers of those products ond to work Injustice to the public, is likely to be far-reaching in its effects. As passed by the senate the resolution, which was' prompted by the alleged combination between the Pennsylvania railroad and some other lines, applied only to the carrying of bituminous cool, but the house amended It bo as to In clude anthracite coal and oil, thus broad ening its scope so that the railroads of many sections of the country may be brought within the Investigation. .Doubt less the amendment will be accepted by the senate. The inquiry will be prosecuted by the Interstate Commerce commission, which Is to report from time to time to con gress on the progress of the Investiga tion, and after the adjournment of con gress to the president as occasion may require. It Is stated that taken In con nection with the decision handed down last Monday by the supreme court the resolution has afforded some ground for anxiety to pro-railroad- advocates who do not like the Idea of government in terference. It is also said in reports from Washington that predictions are being made to the effect that within the next few weeks many suits will be filed by the Interstate Commerce coin mission to restrain railroads from vio lating the low In the way Indicated in the Chesapeake & Ohio suit, as to which the decision of the supreme court was rendered. The action of congress In this matter will have very general popular approval. In his explanation of the resolution Mr. Townsend of the house .committee on Interstate ond foreign commerce said: "It Is alleged Hint hundreds of owners of coal mines nnd oil fields are prevented from operation for the reason that the ronds which under the law should serve them, either fall entirely In furnishing the menus of transportation or else furnish them so Inadequately as to make operation unprofitable." The allegation Is unquestionably well founded nnd will be so shown by the investigation. If It shall be made ns carefully and exhaust ively as it should be. It Is noteworthy that there was no opposition In the house to the resolution ordering the investiga tion. And now the public Is promised n new sensation in the real reason why the United States decided to retain the Philippine Islands, the facts having been kept In secrecy all this time. There are, doubtless, a great many reasons that moved Fresident McKtnley and his pence commissioners to insert the clause In the treaty providing for the transfer of the Philippines to the United States. But the treaty would never have been ratified but for the efforts of William Jennings Bryan, who personally went to Washington ond belabored demo cratic uud populist senators to vote for It. The change of the vote of Senator Allen of Nebraska alone would have defeated the treaty, but Its defeat would have deprived Colonel Bryan of an b-siie on which he foolishly thought he could ride Into the White House on his second trial. The Independent telephone operators representing 100 companies in Missouri have held a two days' conference In Kansas City, with a view to effecting n merger, and the sentiment is said to have been unanimous In Its favor. And this reminds us of the numerous and varied telegraph companies that were wrestling for business many years ago ond finally were merged ond watered Into one huge company, now known os the Western Union, to avoid disagree able and unprofitable competition. It does not take a great stretch of imagi nation to anticipate the marriage of all the telephone companies, dependent. In dependent and monopolistic, under one Bell. Jones always lias paid the freight, including the expense of the legislative and couucllmanlc lobbies. The meanest libel about the street railway is that no reductions are made to the adult passengers, whether they stand ou the front platform or rear plat form, or hang on the straps, when as a matter of fact a very respectable per centage of Omaha street railway patrons pay their fare in a countersigned script, bound In booklets, and generously Issued without money nnd without price. If Congressman Norris should have his way he would donate tho public domain in Nebraska to the state In order to get rid of it. but this unique method of disposing of the public do main would meet with some obstacles. A bill to give away several million acres of land in order to get rid of It has not the remotest chance of raising con gress; but, even if congress were tlls posed to make the donation, It would not be desirable. The acquisition of this vast land grant would saddle uin the state n bigger white elephant than was ever raised In the kingdom of Slam. It would, moreover, generate more Job bery and graft than oil the penitentiary and saline lands Nebraska was ever called on to distribute through the la mented Boss Stout. Bichord Manstield has authorized the announcement that he had formulated plans for retiring from the stage ond closing his theatrical career In the spring of llHii). But Mr. Mansfield may be prevailed upon to change his mind. Other great actors, great actresses nnd prima donnas have formulated plans for retiring from tho stage and played forewell engagements for years and years after they had been expected to retire. In this respect Illustrious actors do not differ from eminent men In other professions. There Is a well defined rumor afloat that all the sheriff's field deputies, office deputies, Jailers ond turnkeys ore plugging owny for Broatch. Aud yet John McDonald was the very man who moved to make Benson's nomination unanimous. Consistency has never been a Jewel In the snout of a full grown political Oinahog. Tho advance of foot bull reform In the University of Nebraska Is said to be measured by the fact that the newly engaged couch for the coming year' will receive $r00 less than his Immediate predecessor. In other words, there will be r(0 less of professionalism In the game In l!Xl than there was In 1!05. Friends of Senators Allison nnd Dolll ver are doing them no good wheu they Intimate that the agitation In Iowa for the election of United States senators by direct vote Is Is a blow aimed at them. No senator who has done Ills' full duty need feur a direct vote. Pipe Drenm. New York Post. French briar Is now said to come from Scotland exclusively. With amber from the celluloid factories and Havana leaf from Connecticut, the smoker has a good beginning for his reveries. Soandlnar n Strange Note. New York Mail. Speaking of congratulations, about the queerest thing in that line Is the felicita ting of American musical composers on the fact that the negroes and Indians are going to supply us with a national music some time. Compounds "Chaser" for St. Louis. Chicago Inter-Ocean, I Now the thing. for St. Louis to do is to become reconciled to our microbes. The fact that she persisted In the follv of cunn ing that suit against our pure water dis charge is conclusive proof that she needs them. Fart of Hnnian Nature. Baltimore American. The new queen of Denmark la called "the mother of her people." And In this connec tion It may be noticed that while the most Independent nations resent any attempt at paternalism In the government, they are willing to accept any amount of "mother ing." That Is something of which a man never entirely outgrows the desire or the need. Where Are the Poets t New York Sun. Never before this year of grace 1904 has Tyranny oppressed Freedom wltho'ut some Milton wrote of the Alblgenses, Dyron poet to sing the wrongs of the oppressed, sang of the Greek struggle, our Massa chusetts poets of the negro's wrongs. But here i.nd now Is a people the Russians scourged with whips for a century and with scor-lons for a year, a picturesque rabble fL.iting for their rights and the rights of mankind against a picturesque despotism and not a line of verse do we give them, unless It Is a sonnet or two from Alfred Austin's bread and butter muse. There has been no poetry on the Rnsstan crista because there have been no poets. In the Anglo-Saxon world Is the race of poets ext'nctT PERSONAL 1D OTHERWISE. One of the many bright sides of the weather la that the oldest inhabitant is hushed. A man named Sorrow was vice president of Chicago's busted bank. That's about all the depositors get. Jollying aside. General Grosvenor has one fulfilled prophecy to his credit. He said he would be defeated for renomlnation. He was. Los Angeles Is about to absorb some ad jacent territory, giving the city an area of TOO square miles. Los Angelenot need the ozone to expand their lungs. St. Louis Is not cast down by the judicial vindication of Chicago microbes. Since the lid was screwed on the town has previous little use for water as a "chaser." Count Bon! continues to emit lamentations of the Jeremiah order. There Is little hope of soothing his melancholy until the count ess stretches her purscstrlngs to the limit. As though their cup of trouble was not overflowing, heartless people In Illinois ask the railroads to settle a little matter of 15.000,000 of back taxes. Verily, this Is rub bing it in. A Chicago woman was awarded HO 0 punitive damages for kUse3 extracted with out her consent. Thus another profitable Industry Is added to tho repertoire of Chi cago women. Congressman Rede Insists on substituting the stork for the eagle as the national bird because while "the eagle can only scream, the stork delivers the goods." A string of six little Bcdes shout approval. An Illinois man, whose dignity was rudely jarred at an Initiation by riding a mechan ical goat Instead of the real thing, wants t-'.OuO damages from the lodge. When a Jlner doesn't get all that's coming to him he ought to get the cash. "Senatorial courtesy" is a wonderful in stitution. A new member of the upper house who referred to a colleague as "the gentleman from Idaho," apologized for calling him a gentleman Instead of senator. Senatorial courtesy accepted the apology and donned a complacent smile. Consumers of gas In certain Jersey cities are disposed tJ doubt the Integrity of the miter, and, like the kid and the phono graph, mould like to smash its face Just to sea the works. The trouble seems to be that the old reliable meter failed to notice the reduction from $1.60 to 11 and rolled up bills to the old level. Jersey Innocents seem to forget that meters register the air as well as the (us f Uinred In. Piano Bargains ALL MARKED IN PLAIN FIGURES n Prlca Only. It's the Hospa Plan. You Will Llka It. Victor Piano, mahogany, slightly used..... flflA Wellington, oak, upright, slightly shop-worn ft 10 Vose & Son, ebony, large upright in good condition ft B0 Vose & Son, mahogany, large size upright, slightly used .$175 Walworth, mahogany, almost new ...$200 Straus Tlano, slightly shop-worn, mahogany .9175 1 Square Piano, Wllhelm & Schuler, rosewood 933 1 Square Piano, J. P. Hale, Rosewood $25 Payments from $3 to $6 per month until paid. All above Pianos are fully guaranteed and yoti take no chances. We also carry the Cramer Piano $190 on small payments, and tbe higher grades tho Kimball, the Knabe, the Kranlch & Bach, the Bush & Lane, the Hallet & Davis all marked in plain figures. One price to all, on easy payments. a. hospe co., inaat rroof Piano Tuning, f 2.BO. Join the Cut-Prlce Sheet Music Club, 10c. 8ERMOSS ROII.KD DOW. The keen eye needs the kindly heart. Menial work may be noblest service. There's no argument equal to a happy smile. Imaginary evils have more than Imagi nary effects. Homes are often closest knit about some grave of separation. Earthly prudence Is a large part of heavenly providence. They who live off the flock are never willing to die for It. You cannot travel toward heaven with your back turned to honor. The life that would be fruitful seeks showers as well as sunshine. One of tho worst offenses agalnBt hu manity is the pretense of divinity. The leaders of men are not the ones who are trying to get ahead of their fellows. It's not the man with a putty backbone who Is most truly resigned to the will of God. If you are going to do good work for all men you will have to be against some men. The saddest people In this world are those who are always fighting against sor row. When two churches find a bone of con tention you may be sure the devil has the meat. Success Is not In an endeavor to do a great thing, but In repeated endeavors to do greater things. Many a man thinks that taking a lease on a front pew gives him a freehold on a corner lot In heaven. In the European cathedrals they gather the dust of the dead, but In the American churches the great thing is to get the dust of the living. 8ECII.AH SHOTS AT THE PCLPIT. New York Tribune: Bishop H. P. Tur ner, colored, does his race and himself a bad turn In denouncing the American flag as "a dirty and contemptible rag." He should go to school to Booker T. Wash ington a decade or so, for he would then know more about the banner he despises. San Francisco Chronicle: The telephone Is being used by a revivalist In Lorraine, III., to spread the gospel. There must be a special brand of hello girls In that city, otherwise the experiment would be more likely to win recruits for the other place, not to be mentioned, than converts for heaven. Philadelphia Press: The priest in St. Gabriel's parish, near Haileton, has aban doned the practice of preaching funeral sermons on the ground that the mai who has lived a useful life needs no eulogy over his coffin. As a matter of fact, in death, as In life, It Is the bad fellow that needs praying for. Philadelphia Record: A pious statistician complains that the cost of four first-class American ships of war Is greater than the annual expenditure of all Christendom fur converting tho heathen. But then he over looks the consideration that these ships may be necessary to convince the con verted heathen that they ought to stay converted. Boston Transcript: The new overseer at Zlon City surely has a lively sense of meta phor. His first proceeding has been to raise nearly $40,000 by contributions after a vigorous appeal, In which he told the people that he wanted them to "self-sacrifice until your skin Is worn off." The ap peal Is especially picturesque, In view of ouulde opinion that Zlon City is more or less of a skin game anyway. Brooklyn Eagle. We have heard of the man who wears the livery of the Lord to serve the devil in, but It remains for this glorious era of enlightenment to produce the man whose devotion to business Is so intense that he does not mind compound ing a "wine" of wood alcohol, hard cider and coal tar dye to serve to Christians at the communion table. Commissioner Darlington has discovered that the wine sold by the commercial benefactor Is so made. Pathos of Male Vanity. Atchison Globe. After a man has been told that his hair Is getting thin on top for the first time In his life he finds out how to handle a hand glass. If Your Collar Gaps, Sas or Pinches, go rx quarter size one wtvy or other, j Our quarter size collars are made by the best makers in the land. The Arrow Brand 15c, 2 for 25c. CORRECT STYLES AND SHAPES. High Band Collars, Twin Point Collars, Collars for swagger young men and styles for the plain business man. Every shape that is just right. You always get HERE exactly what you want in a collar. Browning, King &. Co; Ft. & WILCOX, Manaaar. DOMK1TIC PLKASAKTRIBS. 'Harold, are you sure you con support me In the style" "To which you are accustomedT Tea, dear, but 1 can't support you In the style to which I am accustomed. My salary will have to do for two hereafter, you know." Chicago Tribune. "The day of the boss Is over," said tha talkative man. "Married or single?" Interjected the man Who hadn't spoken before. Thoughtless listeners deemed the ques tion Irrelevant. Philadelphia Ledger. Rachelor I hear there's a new arrival at your house. Pater. Pater Lh-huh. Bachelor Well, I'll have to have a cigar n that, won't IT Pater Er well, you'd better have two cigars? Cleveland Leader. "I have come," murmured the suitor, "to ask for your daughter's hand." "A-ah, snapped the father, "can you support her In the style to which she hum Deen accustomed?" "Better than thnt! I can even keep her supplied with bonbons and matinee tick ets!" Pittsburg Gaxette. "I don't see your wife often, Mr. Huck Step." "No; she's always In some sort of charit able work." "What particular work Is she engaged In?" "I believe she Is trying to save Niagara now." Indianapolis News. "What was the most Important bill you ever had anything to do with?" asked the Interviewer. "The bill thnt did most for mo," an swered Senator Sorghum, "was a bill tor services rendered." Washington Star. Mr. Cadd No, Indeed. I never associate with my inferiors: do you? Miss Pepprey Really, I can't say. I don't think I have ever met ny of your Inferiors. Catholic Standard and Times. "Yes, that's Borroughs. He's an adept at constructing short stories." "You don't say? He doesn't look liter ary." "He Isn't. I mean he can think up more ways of telling you he's broke than any other man 1 know." Philadelphia Catholio Standard. The camera man had Just returned from a scouting expedition to a wedding. "Anv luck?" asked the city editor. "Luck! 1 should say so. 1 was ltcknd twice, arrested once and got a snapshot at the groom Just as a shoe hit lilm In Uie neck." Philadelphia Ledger. Henrietta Whitewash I suttlnly am 'spl clous ob Ferdinand. Eb'ry lettah he writes me he swears ter be eternally true an' axes me ter hasten de weddin', as he am plnln' away wlf love. Mrs. Whitewash Wa-al, I don't see nuf fln' 'apicloua 'bout dat. Henrietta Whitewash Oh, It ain't dat But he always adds a postscrlpturei "P. B. Burn dls lettah." Judge. people: will talk. John Q. Saxe, You may get through the world but 'twill be very slow If you listen to all that Is said aa you go; You'll be worried and fretted and kept In a atew For meddlesome tongues must have some thing to do And people will talk. If quiet and modest, you'll have It presumed That your humble position Is only assumed. You're a wolf In sheep's clothing, or elso you're a fool; But don't get excited keep perfeotly cool- For people will talk. And then If you'show the least boldness of heart. Or a slight Inclination to take your own part. They will call you an upstart, ooncelted and vain, But keep straight ahead don't stop to ex plain For people will talk. If threadbare your dress and old-fashioned your hat Someone will surely take notice of that, And hint rather strong that you can't pay your way; But don't get excited, whatever they say for people will talk. If your dress Is In fashion, don't think to escape, For they criticise then In a different shape You're ahead of your means, or your tai'x or'a unpaid; But mind your own business, there's naught to be made For people will talk. Now the best way to do Is to do aa you please, For your mind. If you have one, will than be at ease. Of course, you will meet with all aorta of abuse; But don't think to stop them It's not any use For people will talk.