THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: THURSDAY, NOVEMBER ion; The Omaha Daily Her EtROSBWATKH, tUITOR. rrnumiiKD hvery morning. TKRM?Or BCB8CRIPTION. rily Bee (without Hunday), one year. M V Iialljr Bee and Hunrtav. one year .' Illustrated Bee, nn year i W Sunday Bee. on year M Maturday Bee, "ne year . l.W DELIVERED BT CARRIKR. 7ally Bee (without "iinday. per week.. .120 Pally Be (Including Bundar). rr week.Ko Evening Bee (without flnnday), per week So Kirenlng Bee (with Bunday), per wwlt,,.. Rundav Bee, per copy Sc Address complaints of Irregularities In de livery to City Circulation Lepartment. OFFICE8 . Omaha The Bee Building. Month Omah a OR y Hall Building. Council Bluffs 10 Fesrl Street. Chicago im Vnlty Bull-ling ' New fork lino Home Ufe Ins. Building. iWsshlngton Ml Fourteenth Street. CORRESPONDENCE. Oommunicatlons relating to new and ed itorial matter should be addreaaed: Omaha Bee. Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. .Remit by draft eipress or poatal order, riayabla to The Bee Publishing Company. Inly 1-cent stamps received aa paymenV of mail accounts. Personal rhecka. except on Omaha or eastern eKchsnges, not accepted. THE BEE PUBLISHING) COMPANY. , STATEMEJiXtQF CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas county, aa: C. C. Roaewater. secretary of The Bee Publishing Company, beln duly sworn, aaya that the actual number of full and complete eoples of The Dallv. Morning. Evening and Sundav Bee printed during tha month of Octotier, 1905, vu as follow I S2.IO0 i 30.700 t...k 80,000 4.... si.aao I . .1 A1.320 ai.nao T...... :i2,io I 9O.01O si, (mo i.... si, too n. ........... at. too 13.... 8O.T10 II. ..., 30.N30 14 81.N10 !!...., 30.400 it ao.Tuo Total Lest unsold copies... , Nat total salts Daily average 1? JIO.BSO II SO.OBO i xn.eao 10 80.920 n 31.010 n i.bo a ao.970 24 3O.90O m ai.ioo 26 BO.HHO 80,810 a si.Mio a iio.too 30 II 1,000 ii so.eoo .iHK(.H40 104)01 Wia.84 ao.TIT C. C. ROSBVVATER, Secretary. Hubscribed In my presence and awr.rn to before me this 31st dav of October, 1. (Seal) M. B. HUNOATE, Notary Public. WHEH OCT OF TOWS. Sabeerlfcera tearing; tha elty tam orarlly ahoaM hare- Tha Be saaUlea than. It la better tha dally latter frasa hen. Ad dreaa will fee ckaagal a eftaa as reqaestea. Omuha will be written down in big rod letters In the Salvation Army cal endar If Commander-in-Chief Booth has her iay and her way. - a "Rantankerous" Manning demon strates that the fury of a woman corned la piishd clone by the fury of a lobbyist severed from his salary. Now that Rt. Joseph policemen are unable to attribute all the box car rob lerles to Pat Crowe they are making a few arrests of home talent. The canrtklntesv tnr thavacant eonnty upertutendency are already aa thick as blackberries in June, and still more are sprouting In every precinct of the county. An Italian Immigration otHcer has dis covered that Texas offers unexcelled ad vantages for his countrymen. That pro verbial democratic majority will some day totter. The resignation of the second assist ant city attorney creates another va cancy for a few weeks, which will be eagerly sought or by eminent jurists la loese parui. With Speculators "boosting" the price of football tickets in Chicago promoters of the game will have further difficulty in keeping the game out or the "pro fessional", class. . No one can doubt the resolution of Russian reformers when they can hold heated discussions on the streets in weather cold enough to freese steam boats in the rivers. Wisconsin politicians who are specu lating upon the probable course of Gov ernor La, Follette can get a pointer by learning what the big corporations don't want him to do. The law and its administration In Ne braska is to be the text of the add reus to W delivered by the president of the Nebraska Bar association. This has no reference to the no-treat law. H'iUSr. OBGAMZATIO.V III the organization of the new house of representatives It is thought that Speaker Cannon will keep things very much as they are, except In so far aa changes in the peraounel of the house make It necessary to shift men from one place to another. It is the under standing that in most of the commit tees there will bo a strengthening of the republican lines and a weakening of the democratic, which if done will be pretty sure to cause a vigorous protest from the minority party. Indeed, it Is said that democratic representatives who have beard that this is proposed have expressed themselves in vigorous terms, indicating what may be expected in the way of resentment if the report shall prove to be well founded. Changes in the chairmanship of several impor tant commutes will have to be made, but It is not likely that this will causa the speaker any serious perplexity. .As now indicated, the , chairmanship of the most important committee in the house of Uie Fiftv-nlntlrngress, that of appropriations, is likely to go to a Minnesota representative, either Mr. Tawney or Mr. McClearr, either of whom is fully qualified for the position. Every effort is to be made to keep down appropriations wherever practicable and a strong man Is therefore needed at the head of the committee. It is expected that the committee on ways and means will have a new chnlrraan, it being un derstood that Representative Payne of New York is not regarded as quite equal to the task of floor leader, which de volves upon the head of this committee. There will be some other changes in chairmanships, but these are of Inferior importance to the two mentioned. It appears that the opinion obtains at Washington that the house session 111 be a busy one and perhaps char acterized by quite the usual amount of talk. It is likely that a number of in vestigations will be proposed and it is to be expected that the democrats will make an attack upon the executive de partments generally. The Washington correspondent of an eastern paper says: "A dominant note will undoubtedly be economy. Probably no river and har bor bill will be passed. Printing esti mates will be cut down largely. Sec retary Bonaparte's autagonlsm to naval extravagance will be In evidence. There will be a demand for higher sal aries here and there fwhlch may or may not be granted) and there will be large appropriations for Panama purposes. Prospects are now evidently against the initiation of revenue legislation." The probability Is that the organiza tion of the house will not be unneces sarily delayed. The re-election of Speaker Cannon being assured, he will doubtless be ready to announce the com mittees very shortly after he resumes the speakership. The house should be well settltMi down to business before the holiday recess. - . A DEPLtTKD Fl'XD. The $10,000,000 appropriated last year for Panama cannl work Is about ex hausted, only a few hundred thousand dollars remaining. The pay roll at pres ent amounts to something like $t)O0,0iM) a month and there is not enough money on hand after the payment of the bills to meet the December pay roll. It Is stated that there are bills unpaid for material and supplies which should be paid at once, the delay being quite op pressive and unjust to the creditors of the government. This, at the very inception of the work, is somewhat of a reproach and suggests that there has possibly been a lack of Judicious business judgment and management on the part of the commis sion. There is no allegation of extrava gance or waste, but It does seem that the appropriation might have been so managed as to have extended at least to the meeting of congress, so that no creditor of the government would have had to wait for payment. Of course this will be one of the first matters to receive congressional attention and prob ably an emergency, appropriation to' carry on the work without serious Inter ruption will be made Immediately after the house and senate are organized. It would undoubtedly be disastrous to have the pay rolls go unpaid for even a few weeks. It Is a regrettable condition and one which probably will not occur again. j i T-a strong public demaud. In which all con servative bankers would unite, for lis adoption. There Is unquestionably dan ger In a system which allows banks to raise the rate of interest as was re cently done In New York and a remedy Is manifestly desirable, if It be possible to provide one. The exercise of such a power may easily be productive of enormous mischief and injury to legiti mate business. the belief that the men who Indulge In "high nuance" are guilty of acta which, when committed on a smaller a. ale, land tha perpetrators behind prlaon bars LATT lit PA B r.WE.V T KXTRAVAOASCK On recommendation of the city attor ney the council has raised the salary of the second assistant city attorney from $1,500 to $1,8XJ a year in the face of section 21 of the charter, which reads aa follows: The compensation or salary of all offi cers and agents of the city not herein specified shall be fixed and determined by ordinance and shall not be Increased or diminished during the term for which such officer Shall be appointed. The adoption of the resolution by the council Involves two specific violations of the charter: First, that no office can be created by resolution, aud, second, that no salary for an office already es tablished by ordinance can be raised le gally during the unexpired term. If the raise in salary is made for somebody not yet appointed it cannot be made by reso lution in any event, but must be made by ordinance. And this brings us face to face with the rank Imposition upon the taxpayers in the division of the law department and the appointment of aupernumerary attorneys, assistant attorneys and spe cial attorneys. At the present time the salaries of attorneys directly connected with the law department of the city are as follows: City attorney ; I 1.500 First assistant attorney 2.000 Second assistant attorney 1.D00 City abstracter l.fcuO City claim agent 1,200 City prosecutor l.JOO Another . oat eat Threatened. New Tork Tribune. There Is a disquieting rumor that New York's 4"0 have shrunk to eevrntr-nln''. Those who have been counted out will prob ably demand a recount. Oet Off the Trail. New York Bun. Borne Indians In the Roaebud reservation are tooling devil wagons. As a matter of mere pictorial Imagination, think of the dynamic possibilities of our copper-colored brother, well "tanked up" and In command of a speed eating "teuf-tcuf." Golua; Bark on Hla Frlenda. Chicago Chronicle. Poor old Chauncey Depew deprecating contributions by corporations to political campaign funds Is a spectacle for gods and men. If thire had never been any such contributions what would have been Mr. Depew s political standing? Shortage of Army Officers. Chicago News. Before making provision for an Increase In the officers' list, however, congress will want to know how far the Incidental ser vice assignments of which General Chaffee speaks are necessary. The tendency to as sign military men to civilian positions, to sit at roll-top desks and perform office routine, gains ground unless It is watched. To make provision for filling the vacancies created by Indispensable army duties, out side active sen-Ice is, of course, another matter. At worst the shortage of officers in the army Is far' less serious than Is the similar deficiency In the navy. Total $10,900 To this must be added the special at torneys of the water board, $2,000, and the attorney for the echool board, $500, making a total of $13,400, chargeable to the law expenses of the city. With a city attorney and two assist ants drawing $7,000 a year and a city prosecutor drawing $1,200, there Is ab solutely no excuse for the employment of a regular attorney by the school board or of special attorneys for the water board. Under a rational munici pal government the law department of the city would be so organized as to transact all the legal business for every department of municipal government, In cluding the Board of Education, which has no interests to subserve in conflict with the municipal government. The same Is true of the legal services of the water department. In every other city where water works have passed under municipal ownership the law depart ment of the city conducts all the busi ness that calls, the water board Into court, or requires the water board to prosecute claims against private clti zens. Sooner or later, there also will be at least a partial merger of the county and city law departments. The county law department, as nt. present conducted. draws $S,2h) a year out of the county treasury, so that In round figures the city and county law expenses for regu lar attorneys and special attorneys range from $22,000 to $2.".000 a year. To Easily Dlaronraaed. Cleveland Plain Dealer. He who aays "I will" over and over to himself and tries and who keeps on saying and trying Is bound to win, whether he be only eighteen years of ae or eighty. The trouble with the average man or woman Is to be found In the too ready disposition to give up. The king uhe will) is dethroned ions; Derore eighty, sometimes before sixty na even before forty. The individual ininKB no naa lost lils chance, and the scripture says: "As a man thlnketh In his heart so Is he." He thinks he Is not aood for much and so thinking; he Is not good tor much he has lost his grip. HI&ASO.XS FOR THANKSGIVING. la the Why not hold an extra aesslon of the Nebraska legislature just to make an in qifjry into the perquisites of the pro fessional lobbyists who hang around Llncolu. periodically and thereafter. s Opposition congressmen are In a quan dary at the present time because they cannot tell whether they favor a sea level canal or one with locks until the recommendations of the prestdeut are made public. . (Colonel lloff q( the medical depart went finds that two Russian soldiers died aa the result of battle to one who died of disease, but he abould explain whether thla Is due to the good mark man ship of the Japanese or the excellent hygienic conditions of the campa. With . the American Federation of Labor making preparations to carry an injunction suit to the United States au preme court there la soma possibility a rula in this matter will be established which all may follow a thing to be de- aired no matter what the rule may be. The statesmen, calling themselves na tional patrons of husbandry ar still In session, discussing the various para mint Issues of tbe past aa well aa of the. future, which la a most gratifying evidence that hotel rates at Atlantic City bare gene down sine tbe close of tua bathing sea so. If the reduced flat rate which the water board has ordered for all water consumers that occupy the smallest class of dwellings is pronounced legal by the courts, what will be the use of buying the works, even if they are ap praised ever so low? What object would be attained by municipal owner ship if the city can arbitrarily fix the a rates regardless? Is not the flat rate order a part of the program for making the tangle In the courts more tangle some aud providing the special attor neys of the water board another oppor tunity for Increasing their fees? 8TBOXOKR CONTROL OF BdXKS- Washington advices state that In his annual report Secretary Shaw will huve something to say about reckless finan ciering In national bauklng aud will recommend a stronger and more direct control of the banking system -'by the federal government. It Is said that the secretary of the treasury la disgusted with what be regards aa the lack of conservatism showu byxbe banka and particularly desires to correct the sys tem by which the banka are able to raise the rate of Interest, as waa done recently in New York. He la understood to be of the opinion that legislation can be devised whereby the government can assume the part which was played by one of the great banka of New York when other banka had raised the rate of Interest to a height which came near to causing a panic la tbe stock market. and can even do more by preventing the rate of Interest from being hoisted at all. Mr. Shaw would have aome thlng done to put an end to the frequent appeala to the Treasury Department for money to speculate with. Whatever the secretary of the treaa nry may have to say la thla matter will certainly be regarded with very great Interest by bankers and tha business public generally. If he can devise practicable plan for doing away with tbe arbitrary action. In the matter o raising Interest rates, by banks which give aid to speculation. 1t wilt nndouht i edly meet with general approval and a Harvest or Nature's Bounties I Corn States. Chicago Inter Ocean. The com crop of the United States this year is not only the largest, but the best on record. Wt are having the greatest In dustrial activity In the nation s history. It is a record year in textile manufactures and In the demand for Droducts. Betnii nd wholesale merchants, In spite of the election holidays lat week, report In creasingly heavy sales. There Is more activity In all leading Industries. Freight movements on the railroads centering In Chicago are on an unprecedented scale. All these are Indicators of continued pros perity, but the greatest of all la the un precedented yield of corn. The product of our corn belt this year Is 2,70T,933.(O bushels of corn, or six times as much as is produced In all the rest of the world In one year. The money value at current prices of this single crop is 1.245.649.180. The corn crop Is not only large, but It Is of superior quality. Large as the crop Is, there is demand for all of It and for he 81,000,000 bushels held over from last year. Kansas has E8,(,000 . bushels more corn than last year,- Missouri M.OOO.OOO. Indiana 44,000.000. Illinois! 9.00O,0OO and Ohio 12.000. 000 bushels more. -The great corn states of Iowa and Nebtytska had a phenomenal yield in 1904. but each reports a gain of J.000,000 bushels this year. With an increased demand for home con sumption In all the corn states and with prospects of an Increased foreign demand, the heavy yield of corn means ready money to the farmers of the corn holt. Ready money In the hands of the farmers moans heavier purchases at retail stores and that means heavier demands on the wholesale establishments and on the factories and foundries. In fact our prosperity Is built on the sure foundation of harvested crops, and In the west corn Is king. A medical credit guide Is to be Issned in St. Louis for the benefit of doctors. dentists and druggists, which will con tain the names of 75.000 persons in that city who are good for their bills and 15,ooo persons who are noj: good. Here is an opportunity for an enterprising Omaha specialist in debit and credit marks to fill a long-felt want. The statement of Oage E. Tarlell that life insurance companies systematically charge more than the cost of Insurance in order to create a big reserve fund was unnecessary In the light of previous disclosures. The big life insurance com pany which first scales Its charges to a business basis should have little trouble In getting business. Senator Burton wanted it distinctly understood that he would do nothing for his clients incompatible with his duties as United States senator and then ap pareutly waa one of the first to forget the understanding. a. The great assemblage gathered in the Auditorium to greet Commander Booth of the Salvation Army shows that Omaha can fill that building on occa slous. The occasions, however, should come oftener. The "conservative rate regulation measure which the railroad senators are urging upou tbe president means a rail road measure pure and simple. Tbe people will have none of such "conservatism." BIT OP WASHISCTO 1,1 FK. Minor Scenes and Incidents Sketched on the Snot. The bureau of engraving and printing which turn out clean paper money, in ternal revenue and postage stamps In the highest style of the art. Is preparing for its annual meltlns scene. This consists In inducing to pig metal all plates pronounced obsolete and condemned to the melting pot. There are at present some twenty-five or thirty tons of such plates awaiting destruction, and the work of getting It out of the way will begin very shortly. The committee that takes stock of these obsolete plates consists of three men, one of whom Is appointed by the secretary of the treasury, another by the commissioner of Internal revenue, and a third by the comptroller of the currency. A represen tative of the Postoffice department Is also present to take note of the old postage stamp plates and witness their destruction. It Is expected that this committee will be appointed within a week or so, and that It will Immediately proceed with the work. Tha destruction of these plates consists In reducing them to liquid metal In the furnace of the Bureau of Engraving and Frlntlng. running the metal off Into rough pigs, and disposing of It as such. The practical working of government in dustrial arbitration In the Vnited States and In other countries Is the subject of an exhaustive investigation reported In the bureau of labor official bulletin which has Just been issued. The paper is a statistical account of laws and results of their op eration, the record being brought as closely to date as the necessary reports and docu ments permitted. It includes all laws in any land which have been enacted for the purpose of providing means fur the settle ment of collective Industrial disputes. For the United States it shows that at the beginning of the year 1906 twenty-four states had passed laws for Industrial at nitration or conciliation and one other state by Its constitution directed such legis latlon. The earliest law upon the subject was passed in Maryland In 187$. How Many Birthdays? You must have had 60 at least! What? Only 40? Then it must be your gray hair. Ayer's Hair Vigor stops these frequent birthdays. It gives all the early, deep, rich color to gray hair, checks falling hair, and keeps the scalp healthy. The best kind of a testimonial -"Sold for over sixty years." Haas by tha J. C. Ajt Ce., lwll, atsM. Ala MuaOtotursra of AYlH'a8aR8APABai.-F8rtklood. aTXR'S PILLS-For eonit Ipstiea. AYBm'SC&BKRY PICTOHAIr-FotCosf U. ATSR'8AGnCBR-For malaria aadagaa. The weather bureau, like other denart ments of the government, is constantly In receipt of queer letters from all kinds of people who want to have the weatTler regulated to suit them. Not only do let ters containing complaints against the w-eather, come to the bureau, but the tele phone Is constantly used by people who want to And out what kind of weather they are going to have on a certain day, because, the questioner explains, he wants a clear day at that time, because he Is going out of town on a rlcnic or an out ing. The inquiries generally are In re gard to weather on a date two weeks ahead. Two weeks Is the favored period, and many of the inquiries show very bad temper when they do not get an answer to suit them. The most remarkable mes sage, or rather, ridiculous one, ever re ceived by the weather bureau, was one from a man who said he was a great friend of the cabinet officer under whose direction the weather bureau was. Tha man claimed that he had big Influence, with the secretary, and if the weather bureau would make arrangements to pro vide a nice, sunshiny day for him on a date two weeks ahead, he would recom mend the weather bureau to his friend, the secretary, and he added as an extra Inducement that If the bureau would manufacture a beautiful day to order for him, he would send a cripp 5 bill to ths clerk in charge on the day following. He stated that the reason he wanted a good day was because he was going to take his mother-in-law and some visiting friends on a car rldo to the Great Falls, and did not want to get wet or have the lunch spoiled by having to postpone the trip. The clerk who received the request wrote the man the following reply: "There la only one who can grant your request, and he is too far away to be reached by mail or telephone." IS IT TO I. At Gil t "He Who Smiles at Other's l.anses Merita m Smile at Ilia Own." Bt. Paul Dispatch. It Is the custom to smile broadly at any mistake In examination papers, for a mis take in a mental concept, or the misuse of Hlah Finance Swlnallne. San Francisco Chronicle. The collapse of the Shipbuilding trust exposed a bare-faced attempt to swIndU the public. Tha revelations made at the time showed the actors up In a very nasty light, but the Inquiry Into the affair of the Near Tork lifs ' Insurance '. companies la adding to our Information and deepening a word, appears to many people aa a most amusing thing. The statement that "the cry of an elephant is plaintiff." or that "arbitration la government by injunction and disapproved of by all right-minded men," or that "habeas corpus Is bringing a dead body into court as evidence." has roused the nllrth of the people at the ex pense of Nebraska, our most literate state. It la rather a curious national sense nf humor, this delight of ours In the mis placed or malformed word. It is not a kindly thing, for It always means mirth at the expense of someone else, and It Is not even a safe thing, for one does not need to live long In this Imperfect world to dis cover that every man In It misuses or mis places words, has some grammatical or rhe torical or lexicographical cape that he never rounds safely, from Mr. Roosevelt to the alderman of your own ward, from Barret Wendell to the professor of your own college, from your clergyman to th members of your own household. This kind of mirth, then, is the unholy toy of your consciousness that you don't make the mistake. But it is an ostrich variety, for your own mistake is quite as bad, viewed from the standpoint of perfection aa that of the educational aspire nt who stated that "the elephant's cry la plaintiff." But, after all. the Nebraska examina tions seem to us to betoken the fact of the failure of Nebraska eduratlon, and wa refuse to smile at that failure since the published comparative report gives our own state of Minnesota a larger degree of illit eracy than Nebraska's. He who blackens others does not whiten himself, and he who smiles at other's grammar or rhetoric mer its a smile at his own. The mistake out there on the plains Is a double one, but chiefly the educators are to blame, who asked such questions of persons who could answer such answers. It Is true that law terms, even the simplest of them, such as these were, have very' hasy purlieua In the minds of the majority of people. It Is not at all surprising; the law defines these terms so exactly, and the practice shrouds them In aa much uncertainty as possible, so that the wayfaring man, much more the Nebraska high school student, may be excused from any great delinquency If he does not know their meaning. It Is no doubt quite time that simple terms, such as these, should be current speech-property, and every man should have enough ele mentary law education to Veep him out of court, even out of the court of American mirth. But the laugh or the sneer should reully be on the educators who taught so little and expected o much. These answers were no doubt publixheii In order to con tribute to the ).y of the nation. Nebraska not having developed a Mark Twain or a Iooley or a Wallace Irwin or a William F. Kirk. But a sense of relative responsibility would have kept tesv papers and their la mentable an"t ih ked In tha literacy of NrbrufUa's boast) d reputation. The Washington correspondent of the New Tork Tribune calls attention to the shucking condition of the Oreenough statue of Washington on the cant front of the Capitol. This is known as the shirtless statue, depleting the father of his country in reml-nude classic style. The heroic figure is of Italian marble, which Is incapa ble of withstanding the variable climate of WashlhKton. with its freezing winters and exceedingly hot summers, and each year a part of it crumbles away. The lat est damage has been done to the right eye of the figure. A large piece near the nose has dropped out. This gives the otherwise dlKnifled and serious face a curious expres sion. In addition to this the base has split and pieces have chipped out of the baldric which supports the sword. Ever since the statue waa brought from italy sixty-five years ago on board a mer chantman, and placed In the Capitol it has been the' butt of wils in the house and senate and has been criticised by con noisseurs. The statue was provided for by a resolution Introduced In the house Feb ruary 18. 1W2, and was executed In Florence by Horace Greenough of Massachusetts. It was intended originally to rest in the Capitol directly over the spot intended for Washington's tomb, and for years did obstruct the center of the rotunda under the jrrat dome, but senators and representatives could not stand the criti cism the figure attracted In this position, and It waa finally moved out of doors, despite the fact that it was well understood that exposure to rain and frost would ruin it. Several years ago congress made an effort to protect the statue from further deterioration by providing a wooden struc ture to be placed over it In the winter. This unsightly shed was ued for a time but abandoned In the laat two years. There was a time when vandals and relic hunters used to harass the ptatue. but for some time it has been overlooked by them and left to the solicltlotis care of ( the workmen, who give it a skin of hot parrafin every winter lefore the frost sets In, and who come around In the spring and scrub It and patch Its cracks and gaps with plaster. The ravages now sre particularly noticeable, and as the features wear away, the figure, with Its patches of plaster. Is becoming more and more ridiculous. The statue Is twenty feet hlKh and weighs twenty-one tons. Elliott Woods, superin tendent of the Capitol, will recommend to conrress that the statue he removed to one of the places where relics are stored In Washington, or that a Greek temple he placed about It, so that it may easily be protected from the weather. The statue thus far has cost the government $IJ. 170.74. I'KHSOXAI. !OTF.S. Gaynor and Greene are to be reindicted. The authorities seem determined that, not withstanding the diffidence of the prison ers, they shall have all that Is coming. Ir. Harper has finished his work ns president of Chicago university so that It can be turned over to a successor. His physicians have told him that his expecta tion of life Is short. Ir. Charles Cooper, who Is shortly to retire from the editorship of The Edin burgh Scotsman, is an Englishman who went to Scotland to seek fame and fortune. H was born at Hull. There Is some compensation for the labor of carrying around a superabundance of flesh. A New Tork woman weighing 130 pounds fell from a fourth-story window and wasn't seriously Injured. Fat cushions are useful In emergencies. Governor Herrlck of Ohio was elected by the largest republican plurality even given a gubernatorial candidate in tho history of the state and was defeated for re-election by the largest democratic or opposi tion plurality fever given In that state. The fire drill practiced In Chicago proved Its worth recently when the children turned out and squelched a prairie which threatened to engulf the school building. The problem of plowing firebreaks around school buildings is now added to Mayor Dunne's stock of troubles. Lieutenant Illlse, the German officer who was sentenced to six months' imprison ment In a fortress for criticising German military life in a book called, "In a Little Garrison Town." seems to have fared well In the end. He has married a wealthy German woman and settled down In Switz erland. Ontario's new postmaster general, A. B. Aylesworth, who is seeking election to Parliament In succession to Sir William Mulock, Is described as closely resembling Abraham IJncoln In appearance, bolns: six feet six Inches In height, spare, a lifelong temperance worker, a champion of provin cial rights and a strict Presbyterian. Secretary Taft has traveled lOO.ooo miles, or' four times the distance around the world at the equator, since May 24. 190. when he became governor general of the Philippines. In the five and a half years since his call from the federal bench he has spent IW0 days on the ocean, or almost one year. He has passed six weeks on railroad trains. A recent enlistment at the regular army barracks in St. I.ouls was that of Tolbert von Watson, a native of Vienna. His father Is an officer in the Austrian army and the young man la a cousin of Aus tria's military attache in Washington. Private von Watson speaks and writes nine languages. He is 2ti years old and haa studied medicine in this country as well as in tha Austrian capital. is, and we kind o' thought we'd rather have the bowlln' alloy. It brings more trade." Chicago Tribune. "Why don't you contribute something t' the eause of reform?" "Well." answered Senator Sorghum. "It has boon said that I have already done as much as most men to make reform neces sary." Washington Star. Watkyns What a charming fellow Scrib bler Is! He Is as Kood-natured as the day Is long. . Wylklns Well, perhaps he Is. but you Just ought to hear him howl and swear when he is at work. He Is a night editor, you know. Somervllle Journal. First lawyer Don't you think we are giving our client unnecessary trouble? Second lawyer Yes. but we'll charge him ror It Smith a Magazine. "A man doesn't really get any sense until he is 40 years of age." "What's the application?" "And then no business house seems to care to employ him." Philadelphia Bulletin. "Great Britain is going to commission to Investigate asylums." "How stupid those think all our Idiots Cleveland Plain Dealer. send over a our Idiot Britons are! They are in asylums." "You'd better go slow In your drinking." said Goodman. "You know what it will do to your constitution." "Oh." replied Galley, "my constitution s gone now; haven't anything loft now but my buy-laws." Philadelphia Ledger. MIRTHFI L RKMAHKS. "What! You say your brother lived twenty years In America and never learned a word of English? How in the world did he manage to transact business?" "Easy, my frendt. easy. He lifted in Milwaukee." Pittsburg Post. Sophomore Can't you work the .home folks for money? Junior No; everybody works but father. New Yolk Sun. "That was a terrible crime committed yesterday." "It was so. Have the police made any progress toward apprehending the guilty partlca?" "Oh. yes. They've persuaded the news papers to take the matter up." Ixtulsviile C ourier Journal. "Pousebury's physician told him to go In more for athletics." "And Is he going to do It?" "Sure. He's bought a golf stick and six eaM-s of Scotch whisky." Chicago Record Herald. "Haven't you any public library In this town'" asked the stranser. "No, sir," said the native. "There was a man that offered us a library once, but he wanted the bulldln' where the bowlln' alley A AITIIOH'M WOKS. W. D. Nesbit In Chicago Tribune. Ten years ago I took my pen In hand and wrote a thrilling story Of gentle maids and gentlemen. To which I looked for gain and glory. The publishers expressed their woe And said with It they'd take no chances; "Historic tales are all the go The market's dull on pure romances." I leaped in the historic field; I wrote a novel full of kings Upon eHi-h puge the trumpets pealed And lances clashed, and pther things, Alas! When It was finished I Was plunged Into a paroxysm Of woe, with: 'Nos-Hdays they'll 'Uy No tale that has no realism." I wrote a realistic tale Wherein I called a spade a spade "We want the ship, and sea, and gale." Was the next answer that thoy made. I stralghway wrote around a plot Which kept my readers on the ocean The publishers said: "Now, we've sou To strike the David Harum notion," My next was David Harumlsh And full of sayings wise and quaint. By that time folks wore crying: "Pish!" At any book containing "aln t." I tried to make my characters. Though countrified, be strong and noble; This word came from the pulillsliei s: "The fad Is for the automobile." An automobile story next I tried to have put Into print. ' Too late and then I was perplexed Cntll I got this gentle hint: "The auto tale has run Its course The stuff that catches readers now, boy Is that which breathes of life and force And which for hero has a cowboy." My cowboy novel Is begun And still I sit and fume and fret For fear that ere the book Is done My hopeful plans will be upset. I've wasted time and thought and Ink It fairly drives me to a passion When I look at my work and think How quickly things go out of fashion. A 8kln of Beauty t a Joy Forevor. DR. T. Follx Oourtud't Oriental Crtam or Mcglo! Boautlflor. Tm. PlmolM. reckUM, Moth PBtchM, na Try oieum on Wutf. u4 tU- u Hoed tb tMt of T TMrt, bd la to baurnlaM w Utlt U UbfUitt fa propyl 7 mwii, orpl noaoantar, felt of almlUr ntnf. Dr. L. A. fltrro al4 to o )adr of Ut fetuU Ion psuttntt i f la4laa wtU ttaa tha. I vaiioainaif MJoaroBtTa Cream' aa Ut tea harmful of u la alia praptrftiloDft.1' for aala by ail dm; gM and Fanor Oooda Draltra In tha Unltd Sum, C&4a a4 Euiapo, (LBLT.KOPIIIIS. Proa, 37 Brett J Sire IwTai Give Thanks for Friends On Thanksgiving Day for friends are anong life'a most precious gifts. No friend will be more permanent or beneficient than a policy Jn the Banker Re serve Life Company of Omana. It will he;p you to save; provide comfort in old age if ou live, and take car J of your fjrr'ily If you die. For particular-., address, Bascom H. U obi son. Home Office, Omah a. Browning, King & Co ORIGINATORS AND SOLE MAKERS OF HALF SIZES IN CLOTHING. "The Inspiration of fashion," said Beau Brammel, "Is the tir ing of the old and a craving for the new." We're at Your Service. The right kind of clothes at the right kind of prices. The kind of clothes that you and all practical tueu like to wear. If you don't know what you want our showing of winter things will help you out. The "half sli " we are making now In clothing Is Just what tbe public has been waiting for a long time. And now there Is no question about "nt." That. Is assured and we can truly say No Clothin; Fits Like Ours. Splendid list and the beat of llalr dashery Is our forte, as well ns clothes. You know where we are locAted. Fllteenth and Douglas Sts. Broadway at S2ad Street NEW YORK OMAHA NEB. Factory, Cooper SqsUra t