JtOTtnbtt 12, 1P0R.
4
TIIE OMAIIA ILLUSTRATED BEE.
Omaha's Citizen Soldiers Their Record and Their Need of Quarters
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IN QUARTERMASTER'S OFFICE, MILLARD RIFLES, COMPANY I, SECOND REXil-
.AROUND THE PIANO, .THE THURSTON ItlFLtES EINQ "RAMBLINQ" AND OTHER POPU
LAR DITTIES.
GAME OF WHIST AT THIS GUARDS' ARMORY SOCIAL RECREATION IN TUB READ
ING ROOM.
Oh for the gift of. the ancient hardH. . admlftHion the Thurstn Rifles received th
Who Kinf uf VHlur In ye oldt-n time, mvernop'n run nreinrH hir , i, ..-
To ound the pralHe of the Omaha (Suarrls "nor cup presented by. Goernor
And make them famous In every clime. Dawes for the best drilled company In the
9 8ANQ Wilma Jarratt In a 8lale- ineV were not allowed to keep It,
local paper May 22. 1S96. She drew however, because It was learned that Cap-
her Inspiration from the martial lRm Btnar11 "au not oDserved some minor
point in tne regulations or the competitive
contest. So the cup was returned to the
Omaha Guards, which company had pressed
them closest In the contest.
The Thurstons have always been prize
winners. During the month of May, 1893,
they were the only complete company from
scenes which attended the Inter
state drilling contests of that
month and year at Memphis, Tenn. She
was so thrilled with the brightness and
teauty of that military review, which she
had witnessed, and In which she had seen
the companies of her own cltv earning off
the first honors that she could not restrain Nebraska to compete In the interstate drill-
a note of triumph. ,n competition at Memphis, Tenn. Here
But It Is not the Intention to exploit the they took four first prizes and the first
splendors and pompous displays of military Pr,le for Individual drill. They came home
accomplishment in this article, except Inso- wtth ln P1"1 m"ney to . their credit,
far as these tvlumphs give a reason for Tnl" a remarkable record when It Is re-
moro serious considerations. Yet who Is meinhered that the company was a new or
ganization. Since that time it Is a question
which Is the leading company In the mat
ter of discipline, the Thurstons or the
Omaha Guards.
The first actual service of this company,
as with the Omaha Guards, was during
the packing house disturbance August 9 to
there who cannot see In the glitter of uni
forms. In the burnished arms, and the flag
over all. the tangible expressions of q,tir
deep, undying patriotism? Can we afford
to dispense with our militia companies?
The First regiment of the Nebraska Na
tional Guard was organised by Colonel L.
W. Colby In 1R80. There are at present two 12- 1S94 at South Omaha,
regiments of twelve companies each. Three
of these companies are located at Omaha.
They are tha Omaha Guards, or Company
G. of the Second regiment; the Thurston
Rifles. Company L, of the First regiment,
and the Omnha Light Infantry, Company I,
of the Second.
' Veterans of the Service.
Of theao companies the Omaha Guards ts
the veteran company. It was organised as
an Independent company October 24, 18X7.
Part of the Flsrhtlnar First.
Then comes 'the late Spanish-American
war, during which, as members of .the
famous First Nebras'iu Regiment of United
States Volunteers they won a name and
showed a valor which will make them dear
to this state and clt They spent a year
and six months ln the Philippines, and were
In every Important engagement from the
time they landed until they were recalled.
Notably they assisted ln the Spanish cam-
That It was so organised was due to the PaB". and the a"ault on tn C" of
fact that the reglmenu of the state mllltla Manila, when that .trongnold fell Into the
were then completely filled. The original hand8 of th Americans. They then assisted
nromotera of the comnanv were W. A. " P""c" " ln iy lor two momni,
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Is no real pleasure In, being a member of us 1200 a year. As our expenses are over
the mllltla nowadays. At Is a constant tax tl.COO the difference must be made up by
on a man's pocket and-hls patience. Quar- the members out of their own pockets or
ters are scarce and rents always going up. by calling on their friends. I don't think
My work has taken my Interest away from this should be necessary. If a body of
the guards of late, but I would like to see young men are willing to devote their time
the companies here provided with suitable and energy to perfect themselves as' sol
quarters. There is no reason why the dlers, those who benefit should provide
them with a home. The Commercial club
would, without any trouble, bo able to
raise funds to build a suitable armory. It
could be done by Inducing the large cor
porations, such as the railroads, packing
houses and other large employers of labor
to Join with the business houses and, help.
Business Interests should consider a na
tional, guard as so much insurance. They
pay the police and deputy sheriffs fur pro
tection. But If the police and sheriff fall
they call on the National Guard! Tt would
not be necessary to build a costly build
ing or provide any luxuries. All that
would be necessary would be a substantial
building large enough for a drill hall for
all and a locker and lounging room for
GROUP IN FRONT OF THE OLD OMAHA GUARDS ARMORY ON CAPITOL AVENUE.
state or . the cltyj might not furnish an
armory J.' , , ,
What U Seeded.
Major O. G. Osborne says: "The boys
cannot drill In a barn. They must have
an inviting place to meet. They must have
rooms where they can enjoy themselves.
There are too many., attractions to expect
that young men will put up with priva
tions for the sake of berng patriotic. At
present the boys dig Op for all the accom
modations they have, An armory should
be provided, with a drill room, a place to
store arms and equipment, club rooms and
reading rooms. These need not be elaborate,
but at least comfortable. An annrcmrlntlnn
for an armory, I think, would be better eacn company. There should also be a
than rent." i i . shooting gallery, for a man muat Warn
Captain A. W. Kroeger of the Omaha how to "hoot to be of any value. All the
Light Infantry says: Vir we only had c,tle8 of tne eB8t Prvlao armories for their
money we could build up a good third n'tla. Even Council Bluffs, as small aa It
company and a fourth no doubt. The 250 has PTOVlde1 the finest kind of a home
allowance from the state may be enough for 1,8 company. It will be necessary to
in the country, where the rents are low a something toward building very soon
and where the quarters are often free, as or ,ne Omaha companies must go out of
is the case in Kearney, but it is entirely l8tenre- Rent have been raised so that
too small here, where the cost of accom- u i8 now Impossible to get a place to
modatlons of the most, galling narrowness Q"ater a company."
must be paid for at aa increasing rate."
W. B. TenEyck says: "You can put me TheSO Were Intelligent Elk
down as one In favor of better provisions
for the accommodation of .the military w bad "topped at his cabia for Uie
Vompanies here. They have never had the night, for the tact that we bad been driving
support morally or materially from the peo. 'n the rain for Half a day wasu't lnducive
m,' ,', During this time they were detailed to take Captain W. E. Baehr. In the Omaha not only been faithful to the interest of Douglas, the Daily News building. The pie of Omaha that was their due. I remem- to our wanting to camp ouU
and S B Reed Permission to bear arms chargo of the custom house. In which capa- Light Infantry are Captain Sues, Captain tha commonwealth, but have paid the ex- are at present located on the third floor of when the Omaha Guards came back He was a griszied old teliow. but atraight-
and Parade was secured from Adjutant cUy they had more deIlcat situations to Baughman, Captain George Seres, Captain pense of maintaining their organization as the building which stands on the northwest from Kansas City, after having won the backed and trim built, wltn a little twinkle
General A V Cole April 11 1888 but there bande than any other company in the Ne- Ed B. Cooper and Captain A. W. Kroeger. well. corner of Fourteenth and Douglas streets, nrst prize for maiden companies, that we In W eye and a big perpetual quid of to-
was ho financial encouragement, nor did braska regiment, or, ln fact. In the whole $ 1 Here they have only the scantiest accom- marched from the station to our quarters In bacco In bis mouth. Altnoujjn ne was not
the state agree to furnish supplies nor Eighth army corps. At the first Intimation Who Foots the Bills. Quarters for the Guard. '-modatlons. There Is no place for company the old Casino and no one cheered nor at aU extravagant wltn his words, we felt
uniforms A subscription by Omaha cltl- trouble with the Filipinos they with their When the question Is asked, v"What of Look briefly over the history of the com- drill and if they have It at all they must looked our way except Mr. Hayden during that he-must nave a goodly store of reml-
zens of t3,000 enabled the company to buy regiment were sent to the outer line of de- the armories of these companies? Who panies and see what kind of accommoda- or"l the streets. the entire distance. For the, most part niscences, If we could only get him to open
and furnish the old Casino skating rink at t Santa Mesa. Here they helped foots up the bills?" we are Introduced to tioni they hav Had to t content with. It Is very hard for a drill company to tnat nas bcen the treatment since. It la up. ' .
Seventeenth and Douglas streets. This was meet and repulse the first attack of the In- the fundamental object of this article. In The Omaha Guards first met for drill la- get suitable- quarters. . They have often not because there Is any sentiment against So. a"er supper, when we had turned tha
the first armory. On March B, 1888 A. H. "urgent during the first weeks of. Feb- all the eighteen years of the history of the old Casino skating rink near Seven- been obliged 'to move because the march- the Guards, but It Is .Jack of , sentiment kitchen' Into a library, by , spreading a
Bcharff of General Crook's staff, became ruary, 1S4. The First Nebraska regiment military organizations In Omaha they, have teenth and. Douglas. Here they were Ing was found to be Injuring the buildings, either,, way. I hope to see better things, week-old paper, which our friend watched
' . . . k.u V. n th. tl. ne maivh i i .. j. . i. . i. . - . . . . . , . - , . . Tf tint It wilt nnt nmvlu ma n - n 1 1 , K mlth ffrutiiv bvm nn I hit t U III M and lfltLnnd
the first regular captain of the company, vcnc, ... UBVcr Ttvuuy ml uu. quartered ior niieen years, inis Duiiaing m.oiner instances me rent nas Deen sue- "v v un -
and under him the company attained a from that point to Malolos, the stronghold After the companies were entered as part gradually came to be used for nothing else cesslvely raised beyond enduring. This last companies here disband." .our cracker-box chairs against the aid
great degree of proficiency. It won Its of Agulnaldo'a forces. of the regular mllltla of the state they re- Bnd slipped out of repair. It required con- Is the stern fact that is facing all the com- . $ ot the cabin we began pestering him with
first trophy October 30, 1888. In a competl- ceived from the state treasuries 10O a year siderable extra expense to make it pie- panies at the present moment. - Money Well Speat. fool questions.' But we didn't. learn any
tlon with the Dodge Light Guards of Coun Omalia'a "Baby" Company. to meet the cost of an armory. In April sentable. And be It .said, casually,-a mil- Constantlne J. Smyth says: "Money spent more than that he was a retired prospector,
ell Bluffs. This was the bridge trophy. The fourth company to be organized In of tne present year the state leifislature Uary companycan not be maintained in . - Interest In the Movement. the direction of an armory Is well spent, who had made his pile and was now taking
given on the occasion of the opening of the Omaha was the Omaha Light Infantry, or passed a bill Increasing the appropriation a barn. Finally these quarters were aban- of late the Omaha Commercial club has y n"a l" fa,r-8lzed hR" on the life easy-also taking ln any tourists that
Omaha and Council Bluffs bridge. In No- Company I of the Second regiment of the t0 $250 per company. This Is the sum total doned for accommodations ln Crelghton taken an increasing Interest In the mllltla srund floor- New Tork hai Provided mag- might stray his way. And when be told us
i . Ko., .,, rtKi rr tho Nebraska National Guard. This was organ- 0r ii the state has done for its mllltla; hali of -n th. Pnmrianie thev have been i .. w nlflcent armories. Philadelphia, gives 1600 that his pile was nothing more nor less
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ovis ft ' v o an aAMjiiiunri Ulan a pirn Ul leuiu, wo VUI LAlltljr nets
1500 toward rent for each company ln the curious to know how he could have accu-
state. There Is no reason why Omaha mulated enough eHt teeth to have secured
could not provide as well. We have had himself a competency.
some famous companies here. Prize win- "Well. I'll tell you, that's If you'll aay
benefit of the Guards and $2,000 was raised.
This was expended for uniforms and equip
ments. On June S, 18SA, Hhe Guards won
the first prize in the drill of maiden com
panies at Kansas City, where they had to
compete with ten other companies. The
, prize offered was $1,000. In October of 1830
Lieutenant H. B. Mulford solicited and se
ized in marcn, iwi. apiain iausm.... aside from rurnisning mem wnn arms ana tho mo8t fortunate In the matter of suit- templated toward securing quarters for
wan me i.i ov i:UiiiiiiaiiU:i . laiijun uuuurniB, uu fnyuig me mui.iu- abl- nla. in drill. To maintain these .i. . a ...., . i. ..i.. i .
He
says the matter was broached to the Audl-
" - r, ,. ',". : . r ' J" ... aola P'aces 10 arm. 10 mainiain mese them. Among the most enthusiuBtlc m
Under him the company gained its greatest uais at the rate of $2 per day while they places thP flrBt due8 ass(!8ged amounted to bers in this project is O D Kinllniter
strength He was succeeded by Captain were actually engaged ln the annual en- K per montl member and tne actuai 8ayg tne matter wa- Droached J ,
oeorge oeres, oUl ..u.i.y '' "'" campments. cost to each during the vear was. to speak t,i... ht .i " --"! ...r. rr,EO win- -wen, in ten you, mats you ii aay
mustered out. The company was reorgan. That this provision is entirely Inadequate com)(.rvat,vely. $.'. Such an expense was fuaed. The eld market house on Thirteenth h J."".." ".P won't tell anybody else fer if. a perty
Ized by Major Osborne in 1904 during the to meet the expenses of the companies ln
" . " r , ,, .:.. . . . . . ,i iiiaiier iu niuBi ui mo wjiu. m and t'ap toi was also cons dered. He says:
month of June CapfMn Ed B. Cooper then a city like Omaha a statement of actual ,ater,.ear, tne montnIy dueg have been re. ..Wnat;he need la a goodi new arm.
cured funds to purchase a gatling gun and u"""u; . 1 "l Z" expense. .urn.sneauyv.ap.aH. duced to $1 per month per member, which ory. one that will accommodate four com-
"l"r "r - OI .lne ' u; means that there ts usually a deficit which panes at least. It don't have to
IM'Bn IJUllllllallulllS Ullivl mw j--it-ii.- ii is as iuuowb; cxpeiiucu IVI
afterward a gatling section of the Guards
was organized. The Omaha Guards won
the governor's cup - from the , Thurston
Rffles during ' the state ' encampment ln
August, 1894, and the gatling prize In- the
Interstate contest at Memphis, Tenn., con
ber Si,"" 1904. Being the youngest company rent,
ln the city, it has been found that the task vice
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o aeep.ua up ,,..., . on captain, oonu wm. -u., iarKe amount of money been made by pub
ins . w uw "imprnuuu Ul pan.es, i.w, ior ...ciiuiiis ...u .. w .. ,.,-.,,,,.. Th. ,he caM
help ln their last extremity. We haven't rich vein that you all could get a piece of
done It before. It. Is time we should do it if you wanted, and I would not want It
now." , ( ' . spoiled," he said.
captain w. l. .Faehr says: "No one will of course we all promised eternal secrecy.
mo ii.ui.., - means that there is UBual y a deficit which paniec at least It don't have to be an , i 7. . ui u pniinim. guruu wkv),
is as follows: Expended for armory nwt fce ma(Je th, , , or tw rate building at aH out a place where 7" endless struggle w. have hadtut to ourselves we began to figure how w.
.. tm; for lights. $130; for Janitor ser- mQre forjunate Pmemberll. Only once In they can Z to drill" and have a few th, 1h,",ory of h" Thurston Rifle, to would Bpend the money if he should let u.
, $110; for telephone W; or premium th- MJy of tne ftmana Guardg ha any lnUame J tx 'n'i: " " he " the''
captains bond with the surety com- amount of mon made by . ,urni8hed it, one comnanv with l1 I?0.1? h.ave "Vou see. n.e and my partner, him thai'.
d,...t.l in .hut eltv rt..r.n, .h mnn.h t oder companies and the cost of maintain- equipment. $18; for Incidentals, stationery, mentioned. Puhlie. ball
' Inn mm !. a la SAtiara . tn.rn.mm mnvuslnAa tunlln inttniin tt O . '
May, 1896. This prize was $600. No other " " H ,vw
rash prizes have been won, although the
company, still holds the governor's cup for . - given , oy me s.alB am. - to reach Into their pocket, at once and say: Omaha' Guards during the late war, In th W i Lrli I,.? there wa8 n,or muny ln' Bo we
proficiency In the state c.nteets. Such I. a brief outline of the mllltla com- teft of J PX4.60: th" "WeU. how much do you want this time?" whlch ne held the rank of first lieutenant "Jurin .$?wt?X?J?.V Went t0 hUnUn' ,,d tmf,pln'- V dld'
Of actual tervlce this company has seen Pn'e ?l fv" " " ' 1" W V,i T h-7 The history of the Thurston Rifles Is the and was detailed to the commissary depart- t " V wTIu --. T; nne tne nr8t w,nter una .tt" .""rpr.sea. to
nave pur eis. leein inai.we naa got pan oui
as much as all the rest o' the flxln's, so, as
fur. and hides meant a lot of work, we
sorter decided to go for Just the teeth
alone. i . -
but as a mllltla company to become Com- whenever -th. guest, of the city required raisea py '"V" tbe Patterson building, then to O.toff's hall at care. I am in favor of a policy In the an endless auibuht of work. On account ot 8t" long-range gung and
pany G ef the Second regiment of Ne- they should be received with dignity J" I wmpeUtioM Sixteenth and California streets. Then they Btat t0 reduc, the necessity a Irge ot members leaving the city or engaging fwr 'em. and we got m too. It
braoka Volunteem. ruriiiir th flnunlnh,
becoming tneir tame, ll you reaa me. comp...r. ... "'T-.. nf mmi.tn nnrt their rm v.. ..... . v..,.... .i... " was a Dlty. but then somebody else would
' " . . , ... i v. . n,im( In 1 1 1t 111) T nlS vw v. maiiuiiiK ai illy v iiinnniB i v imddiuid w " .udiiudo iiib, iii iiui mil. ui maul- -
papers, magazines, tactic manuals, etc..
$35: total $964.60. From this deduct the
$250 given by the state and a balance is ctl
have always meant a deficit. It is custo- in.'
mary when a ball Is mentioned for the boys j. x. C. ' Kennedy,
h- BlufTs has furnished its one company with renoorcd and before we had nad a d ad now
of excellent quarter, while Omaha and the of the lniprovement the owner or. mana7er p',,,
state of Nebraska have done next to noth- at hmv'hi . . , arouna up in
he went on, "was ; dlggin'
the north country, and lifter
at least broke his; contract with us and we , perty lotig stretch of dull luck we de-
member of the , w " Hen -o ever since. 1 nave clded W8 d have to get after something
member or the often been on the point of giving the whole thera wa. mor. readv munev in. So we
the following: On August S. 1894, they were ""'""" "" .Vmiiar How hava these nlBtory of constant moving. They first ment. says: "The money question of the on paying "
marched to the wene. of th. packinghouse municipality. They have always .tood panies I. J" drilled In Erfllng's hall at Sixteenth and mlUtla companies in Omaha has always 0n pay,n(r-
strike In South Omaha, where they did pa- ready to serve he city a. protector to hwwIi n.T the bistort of" the com- Corby streets. From there they went to been a financial nightmare. They have al- . Aa m B.rrropo.lU0
trol .ervice for three day.. During the Prewv. the public peace Inviolate They four "tnJ na. "'n Morand'. dancing academy, then located at way8 been crowded for cash, and the work Captain A. D. Falconer say. "The
Month of May. vat. they were mustered have aiwaj-s turned out to maae a aisp.ay pan.es a .r .m u . Fifteenth and Harney, from there to the f the officer, ha. been full of worrv and tnalntainina of a mllltla comnanv rmilrpi
a i ii . riMrnrH nr vnn varui hi rnmruinifui vtiu win iiiiriii, uvo.i utj m. i iv f v v
Aineriusn war vney .aw service in me "V"- , " , . wT,m .kn.it m.t tho exnense of three wer stored at 3-'8 twutn urteentn. wnen have better militia companies. It can not bership, we are constantly after recruits. " a v.u.r. -..aL .
mobllUatlon camp at Chlckamaua. Tenn- nnd the name, of many of our most honored 0 "tTt were not they were reorganized they had quarters be done as long a. the member, must It 1. the hardest kind of work to get men - And w. got them, elk so scared of
Their losses from camp disease, were .1- "d Influential men. Take the nam, of Xltj In the old Brown building at Fourteenth furn,8h . ,he' mean. of their maintenance, to Join and ask the to pay $1 per month thatwell. I . don't like to tell yen.
most a. great a. the losses of th. Thur 4c8D,an nd 8ee w' y" """T' ,iuon. nad tn ?most every case en "d Douglas. After this they used the The state could well afford to buUd am,, dues for the privilege of drilling. It would rou may not believe It. bt them
ton Klflea. who were In active campaigns In the ttnaha Guards they are Cap a n Petitions had in almost e ery ca rooma , Pa,v New, buiIdnK for toma ieg , ,t th , t m The not be hanJ lt ofh inducements could there elk knew we lust wanted their teeth,
ln the Philippine Islands. After returning. 8:harff. C.pU n H. B Mu lford. fj ud ""t." "c a clntest. time. At present they are drilling in Eagle of the itat. and the country at large de- be offered besides drill. As it I. now. th. whenever we got a bunch of 'em cor-
they wer. reorganized Into the mllltla. W. B Ten Eycke. Captain Ell Hodglna, heavy cost ol " ch bov. haU. where they have been for the last pends on an effective mllltla and It has done average expense, of thl. company are nered they would run up a tree. Jab their
,CaPn, ; n ? rnnt ntaln who ha" been " patent In drill and so two years. Zxl to nothing to make it effective." abenit $90 a month: $50 rent. $10 lights. $7 teeth into It. and break them off: yes. sir.
t. T:d f"Uht" , T'tTLl loyal to thneed. o7 he ate who were The Omaha Light Infantry hav, always W. J. Foy. hs, been connected with the telephone. $6 Janitor rv.ee and about 118 and all w. had to dp wa. to go along with
The first rival company to the Oma'ia A . D. V alone r In tl Thur.t JJ - nlm w ie. betn on the move. They have occupied Nebrska National Guard for elghteei a month for miscellaneous, such a. library a basket and pick out what we wanted."
Guard, was an organization known as the Cap U n ":--'-y. deTtl" .acrifice of their inddual In- successively the Masonic Temple halls. Ger- years, more or less. He has held all offices supplies. Insurance, postage and repair, to And that's how he got this pile of elk
SfUZ ZrZZ urt;?alrmri:nryec0a.te.the.r,,ve,hav. mania hall, quarter, on Fourteenth and up to the rank of captal. He says: "Ther. furniture. The .Utt. of Nebr.ska ."'
I "". fc-J'TW' mH MlnmMIWWnn , n jmil W ITlf Tl II I II I flBI W 1 1 IJ IIIIH III 1 n r "t
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independent cumpany and was altacned to
General Cook's vtaff for brigade purposes.
They first drilled In St. Phllomena'm hall,
w hich was situated at Ninth and J Inward
streets, loiter they occupied quuit.-r In
the Ware Mock. Finally they used a hall
connected with Crelghton college. They
were trained by General Kenyon of General
Crook's staff, and during the greater part
of the time Coiistantiue J. Smyth served
as cuptain. The state never allowed them
anything for armory purpose., although
they received remuneration when thoy were
railed on to drill with the brigade. During
this time Lieutenant Green, also uf Gen
eral trook'. staff, wa. drill-master for'the
Omaha Guards, and a very pleasant rivalry
existed between the two organisation..
Financial matters was the great burden, as
it Is, and has been. In all the companies.
The company was disbanded in lkti9.
Record of Tbnrstoa HI Bra.
The Thurston Klflea were the next com
pany to organize. They were first orga
nized u. a marching company t., doslai In
the republican campaign during the autumn
of 1&& After the campaign wa. ever th.
comradeship among the members had be
come so congenial that It was determined
to make the organisation a permanent one.
Captain A. 11. Scharff, who hud been
connected with the Omaha Guards for sis
years, but who had severed hi. connection
wttb them ln lt93, wa. chosen as their first
captalu. They at once took rank with the
Omaha Guards, and since then have been
the most formidable rival company. With
the first reconstruction of the slat or
ganisation, the Thurston Rifles were ad
mitted as Company L of the First Regi
ment of the Nebraska -National Guard,
lu the first state encampment after their
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OMATTA CtTATtDS, COMPANY G. SECOND REGIMENT. K. H. O.
nruTtSTON hifxl"3.' coirrANT u first nEcnrrNT. "K.-itr n
vulge the secret to any of us Denver Post.
Prattle of tho Youngsters
Small Kthel had accompanied her parents
to a family r-.'unlon and upon returning
home she astonished her . mother by ask
ing: "Mamma, was papa related to us
before he married Into our faintly?"
Ragged liny I'leiine, sir, give a poor
orphan a few pennies."
Pedestrian Have you no parents?
Ragged Hoy No, sir. They were divorced
last week.
. i.
"Come, now," said mamma, who had
t.ken the children for a wulk through th.
Zoo, "let's go home and see papa."
"Oh, no," protested Klle, "let s see these
other monkey, first."
Pa Twaddles I can't see why that young
idiot who is calling on Molly hann't senna
enough to go. It's midnight.
Tommy Twaddles 'Tain't his fault. He
can't go Bister's settiu' on him.
"Johnny." said tl.emother of a strenu
ous urchin, "how is it Willie Jones win.
a prize each week at school, and you
never get one?" .
"Hugh!" rejoined Johnny. "He don't win
l.othlii' but 'good-conduct' prizes. The rest
of us fellers don't want iu."
Tommy's Grandn.oti.er (In the capacity
of hostess) You're welcome to eat all you
want, dear, but bow on earth can a .Urn
little boy like you hold so much?
Tommy (with his mouth full) Hugh I
You don't know how I stretch whaa I eat,
f randmal