BOW SUMFTEM
MALLEDAY WO A BM3DE
jqgr rescuinp her Kitten
j
from he top of a
ATNKVIU.E, Ala., will next k celebrate the
y y I cat wedding that began In a kitten romance,
B fl I and Sumptcr Halllday will take as his bride
JL XL I Miss Tom Woodley. the belle of 1 layncville
whom hp won hy ways t hut make the swains
of Havnevllle angry to think about.
Similiter Halllday won his bride by rescuing
" Toots," her maltese kitten, from the top of
the tall, Mender linn pole that Mood on top of the town hall
Hplre Itn tip being litt fee t above the level of Hayne avenue
after hnlf the young men In the town had been trying des
perately to bring the kitten to the ground and failed.
Mis Turn Woodley Is the prettiest girl and the daughter
of one of the rlehest cotton brokers In all thtit district of the
black belt of Alabama, and the young men of the town bowed
dow n to her and worshiped, and all who never had asked her
to marry theni were trying to get up their courage.
They were so many that Miss Tom didn't know which
she liked best, but It was said and stated and declared all
(round ton that "If Sump Halllday wahrn't so Infehrnally
shlfless Tom Woodley'd mahry him In a minute."
nut on that subject Miss Torn remained disdainfully
silent.
Went to Sleep When He Called.
As a suitor Pump was, to say the least, unsatisfactory.
Once or twice a month lie got up enough energy to cull on
Miss Tom In the evening, and they sat in the hummocks on
the porch, but the culls generally turned out unsatisfactorily,
as Sump had a habit of dropping to sleep In his hammock
under the soothing Influences of) the soft wind wandering In
from over the cotton fields heavy with the scent of wisteria
or magnolia, bringing the distant songs and banjo pickings
of the negroes, and of the moonlight. And when he snored
Miss Tom usually left him and retired Indignantly to the
house.
Kverybody In Ilaynevllle " nllowcd " that Sump was
lazy. He wouldn't work but he had a habit of just sitting
around, loafing and laughing, and then making more money
on his little speculations In cotton than the hardest workers
In the town coi Id amass. His case was hopeless, too. for
when he was reproved for being " shlfless " Sump laughed
Ms soft, easy, musical laugh that made hltn friends with
everybody who heard It. and paid no attention.
Nobody could understand It, but somehow Sump accumu
lated a lot of real estate and his cotton crop usually turned
out well and he always hail money to help some needy planter
who was caught without ready cash.
MaJ. Ned Purcell and Will t'pley and Jack Clendcnnin
and Col. Hugh Hayne not to count a lot of others were
openly and professedly In love with Miss Tom and they re
mained awake when they called, and they called as fre
quently as she would let them, and whispered pretty senti
ments to her. Nor did any one of them snore so they could
not understand why they had not been accepted, either In
dividually or collectively by the handsome girl.
Toots Starts a Quarrel.
Miss Tom was 1! In April, tall, black haired, black eyed,
and slender, with the graceful slenderncss of a willow twig.
There was only one living thing In the world outside of her
own family that she confessed she loved, and that lucky
thing was " Toots," her 5 months old multcse kitten. The
men stood around and admired and envied " Toots "all
except Sump, who calmly lifted the kitten by the nape of its
neck, hoisted it out of the hummock, and tossed It to the
floor when he called.
' Why, Sump Halllday." protested Miss Tom. " You
might hurt my poor kitten."
' I wouldn't hurt him," said Sump. " I wouldn't hurt
any animal lessen 'twas a mule, but I don't like cats. When
we all get married 1 ain't going to have cats around the
house."
But by that time Miss Tom really was Indignant and she
left Sump alone on the porch, so he made himself comfortable
until Col. AVoodley, her father, came out and joined him In a
smoke and Invited him into the house to have something
else.
Matters stood that way until May '.'4 a momentous day
In the history of Hayneville the day that Miss Tpm Woodley's
cat disappeared. The kitten had formed a habit of climbing
trees, posts everything it could find. That morning Miss
Tom hud taken It In the trap with her while she did some
shopping and had left It washing Its face with its paws as
It sat on the cushions of the trap. When she came out of
the store the kitten had disappeared. She searched the stores
and the street, searched the city building across the street
then she gave some small negro boys a handful of pennies
and ordered them to hunt the kitten. They scoured the town,
but not a trace of " Toots " was found until late in the
afternoon, when one of the little negro urchins, pointing up
ward with one black finger, called otft, " Dan he am, dan
Fourteen Times Disappointed
hhhkOI'KTEKN times disappointed In love, fourteen
Ft times Jilted by women who suddenly found that
i they loved an ither man bettei Trank Messang of
Covington, Ky., has at last found a woman whose
f- 9 love for him lasted at least to the altar, and, they
I'' both think, will last to the grave.
Messang, the most jilted man in the world, at the age of
07 yeurs, has wedded Louisa Wullweber, aged 45, whose love
he won despite the fact that he was forced to tell her, " You
are the fifteenth woman I ever have loved."
And, after fourteen starts on his honeymoon, Messang
finally got uway as the Itev. Hugo Flserlohr loosed the bar
rier and he and his bride are spending their honeymoon in
California (California. O.)
Hoth the bride and groom are as pleased as they can be.
The groom declares that all his disappointments served to
bring him into wedlock with the right woman, and the bride
declares that her husband's practice in lovemaking with four
teen other women has made him an Ideal ioer. So they have
lived happily ever afterward.
"The first of my fourteen disappointments," remarked
Messang. after he had tetured his license, "was away back
In Klio was a little dream. A blonde, and plump and
pretty as a speckled bull pup. We loved each other to death
utmost and I spent most of my wages buying her Ice cream
and taking her to the theater. Hut she threw me down and
married a shoe drummer. I saw her In the Fifth street mar
ket in Cincinnati a few wteks ago. She a fat.
" I guess I didn't fall In love then for two yeurs-nd then
I went daffy over the prettiest slenderest little girl that ever
threw pork und across a lunch counter. Veil we got engaged
and were going to be married In the fall. She made me save
money she was one of two of them who did so she must have
been In earnest; but she dodged tie and married a barber.
"1 fell out of love with her and Into love with another
without stopping and this time It was a buxom little widow
with two children that lived up on the Vine street hill; but,
after we wire engaged and hud planned our future, she mar
ried the landlord und saved two weeks' rent. She had the
nerve to Invite me to the wtddtng.
" The next year I got engaged to a gl.'l up at It bunou, but
after we hud set the date she wrote to me and broke off the
engagement. She was the best of them till, for she felt real
sorry about it, but simply could nut resist the temptation to
marry a 400 acre farm adjoining the town.
" By that time my love affairs got to be the wonder of all
my friends. The girls used to offer to get engaged to Me and
pay all the expenses, Just to get me to go with then. They
felt sure that the moment I announced my engagement to
them some one else would come along and want to marry
them. My friends would bay, ' There goes Frank with his
new fiancee. There'll be a wedding pretty soon.' They didn't
mean that I would get married, but that the girl would find
another husband and drop me.
" I was shaken so many times that I was like a fellow
with the ugue, and really got so I liked It. I think perhaps
that some of those girls got engaged to me Just for practice
when there wasn't any one else handy, and 1 got to thinking
that I would die an old buchelor. I was engaged to fourteen
of them that threw me over and I got b tck six of the rings,
which was a pretty good average. i
"I finally found one that would go the route to the altar
and she really was the only one In the world for me. She
ain't much to look at, but we are tied hard and fust now. No
.mora lings back for your I'ncle Frank."
L mmt kMlMJ r:'-','..v,r
HX J wim v
VoodJey
he am. I done foun' him.
Miss Tom."
1
Cat at Top of the Flag Pole.
Prcuthless he arrived nt the Woodley mansion and broke
the news. A few minutes later Miss Tom, with Will Upley,
was standing on the sidewalk opposite the city hall, gazing
up toward where Toots, frightened and helpless, was standing
on top of the flag pole that rose above the city hall spire.
The kitten had climbed up through the building, out on to the
roof through one of the little windows cut in the tower, up a
water spout, evidently, to the top of the tower, and then
from the little platform from which tile flag pole rose had
clambered up on to the flattened top. where It rested, unable
to get down.
The flag pole rose eighteen feet from the top of the
tower. Will I'pley offered one of the little negro boys TsJ
cents to climb up and get the cat, but the pole was slender
and polished, and after two efforts the boy gave up, and
others, mounting to the top of the tower, tried again and
again,
" I reckon your cat must stay up there. Miss Tom," said
Sump Halllday as he approached and lifted his hat.
" Get him down for me. Sump." she pleaded.
" I ain't going to risk my life for a kitten. I'll send a nig
ger boy after it." remarked Sump, earning a glance of scorn.
" Course," he continued. " if you really want me to I'll go."
A crowd of tlie curious began to collect and Will I'pley
remarked that It would be better If they walked home, and
he assured her that he would do all In his power to rescue
the kitten, saying, also, that It probubly 'would come down
at night when It got hungry
Couldn't Persuade It to Come Down.
At 0 o'clock that night Miss Tom made Inquiries regarding
the kitten and learned that It was still on top of the tower,
every effort to reach it or to persuade It to attempt the
downward climb having failed.
The next morning " Toots " was still a prisoner, and half
the people of the town were watching the top of the flag
pole, where the poor kitten turned around and around, meow
ing plteously and stretching down one paw as If to make
the effort to slide ilown the pole.
Enrly in the " evening "which is southern for afternoon
there was a council of war at the Woodley mansion, and
among those present were MaJ. Ned I'urccll, Jack Clendennln,
Col. Hugh Hayne, Will I'pley, and a lot of the younger
swains.
The chances of rescuing "Toots" were discussed for
some time and Miss Tom decreed that the kitten positively
must be saved. Just as she made the statement there was a
soft snore from the hammock near the corner of the porch
and she glanced In that direction and saw with scorn that
Sump Halllday had dropped off Into a little nap during the
discussion of ways and means. The girl cast one disdainful
ITID has skipped over l'lano. 111., and the cltl-
azens of that thriving little city are thinking of
sending a n-w map to the littlt god of love with
l'l.ANO marked in big letters on It. Whether
Cupid thinks the self-hinders they make down
there are sufficient to tie the knots without his
aid or not can only be guessed, but the fact re
mains that l'lano has more eligible bachelors to
ihe square Inch than any town in the ceir.ial west.
I'nmariied men and ex-married nun are so numerous
that It keeps the tailor buty repairing their cwthes and sew
ing on their buttons. The laundries charge extra for mending
hosiery anJ shirts. Recently, when the town was left without
a tailor, a philanthropic citizen took pity on the buttonless
bachelors and spent a week persuading a new tailor to come
In and fill the want.
In the town, with Its 1.004 persons, there are more bachel
ors and grass widowers who live lonely lives than In any
town of twice its size in the state. There are three classes,
those who live alone and do their own housework, those who
eat at one place and sleep ut another, and those who live with
their relatives.
"Bachelors' Inn " Is Crowded.
" Bachelors' Inn " houses twenty-five bachelors that Is,
men who wire born bai lKlors, acquired bachelorhood, or had
bachelorhood thrust upon them by divorce courts. There are
enough eligible men In that one house to fetadden the hearts
of many lonely women, and enough In l'lano to make the ex
pression " old maid " obsolete In two or three counties.
The plight to which the women of l'lano are reduced Indi
cates thit these bachelors shy at the sight of women, for a
short time ago there was t-uch a scarcity of men escorts that
the mayor was called upon to ask the town marshal to escort
women to their homes when they arrived on trains In the
evening. It may be that the buchelors werj not notified of the
coming of the women.
The bachelors, however, have u wonderful reputation for
bashfulness. They shun women and play games by them
selves In places where there Is no rustle of skirts. Recently
a crowd of bachelors formed a dub of their own, rented
grounds, and constructed tinnla courts, where, safe from the
Incursions of matchmaking mammas, they play in peace.
Plenty of Girls and Scenery.
Yet Piano has plenty of girls, pretty and talented, and sev
eral wealthy and not old widows, almost enough of them to
supply each one of the oachelors with a good wife.
And, also, the country around l'lano is as beautiful and
I gwlne git dat tin clntses from .'' '' ' ''"'. ' - El I J '',.'.''' '
nJ ' lt:;
glance In the direction of the hammock, and, holding her
head erect and with her eyes flashing, she said:
" I will marry the man that saves ' Toots.' "
Instantly all the men were on their feet and starting
towards the city hall except Sump, who continued to slum
ber away peacefully In the hammock. The news spread
through the town like wildfire, and within a short time half
the population and most of the negroes were gathered in
" the square " to see the attempts at rescue.
Colonel Hayne Couldn't Climb the Pole.
Hugh Hayne claimed the first right to attempt the rescue.
He ascended to the top of the " cupola " rapidly, stepped out
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romantic as any in Illinois. It Is in the heart of the lovely
Fox river region, where the hills are covered with beautiful
foliage, where the roads i.nd lanes wind In and out through
groves along the river, a country where Cupid, one would
think, would make his favorite hunting ground.
So it seems that, for sorr.e reason, Cupid has skipped over
Piano and left the hearts of bachelors and maids untouched
by his arrows.
There are rich Ixiehelors and poor bachelors, handsome and
homely bachelors, many of excellent families, successful In
business, some specially gifted. They belong to every class of
society, from the pulpit to the " hired " man, and yet, with
many women verging on "old maldhood." they do not wed.
Women Show No Pity.
That the hearts of the women ure untouched either by love
or Its cousin, pity, for these bachelors is Bhuwn by a recent oc
currence. A professional bachelor In crawling Into his last clean
shirt two days before his belated consignment was due to
arrive from the laundry ripped It wide iim n.
The haberdasher's store was closed. Kvery bachelor friend
wore shirts too large for him. In uespair he let his sad plight
become known, hoping that some tender heaited woman would
take pity on him and offer to sew ip the rent. Not one volun
teered, and, pasting the tear together with court plaster and
trusting to luck, he attended the function.
The editor of the local paper, seeing the dire plight of his
bachelor constituents, went up to Aurora and offered subsidy
to get a tailor to come down and attend to the mending for
the single wretches.
Partial List of Bachelors.
Here is a partial list of the candidates d'i matrimony who
have either been turned down In caucus or refused the nom
ination: 8. II. Ness, photographer, lives with mother. ? ?
lien dlsen, lives with his mother.
John Filhy, married one month, divorced.
Arthur Tisdey, painter, lives with relatives.
Herman Thurow, retired farmer, lives with daughter.
'. H. Barnes, widower, shoe merchant, lives alone. .
Cyrus Morris, manufacturer, lives with brother.
Orrln Robbina, manufacturer, " ept bachelor quarters with
his father until the latter married the eister of his son's
former wife; now keeps bachelor quarters by himself.
I.. P. Marble, painter, lives alone; has fine garden, frui s,
und a big flock of chickens.
The Rev. Ir. Charles E. Henr minister, Baptist church,
lives with sister.
I J t
Thomas Welch, retired, lives with sister.
Frank Harden, lives alone.
John Jl ill, bookkeeper, lives Willi relatives.
Frank Zimmerman, blacksmith, lives wiih relatives.
Dr. Ohlwein, dentist, boards; sleeps part of time in his
office.
W. R. Taylor, druggist, grass widower, bleeps In store.
Henry Knle, merchant, lives w th sister
John Stuhle, saloonkeeper, lives alone.
Jess Sheer, liveryman, eats at restaurant, sleeps In office.
John Spolum, boards with mother, sleeps in his store.
Louis Lanphear, lives with relatives.
Some More Matrimonial Prizes.
F. II. Earle, president F. H. Karle Manufacturing company
und Kurle Metul Bed company, proprietor of Bachelors' inn.
Adam Booker, Ice man, sleeps over drug store.
Dr. Gilbert Beck, veterinary surgeon, lives alone.
Ijizelle and Clyde Agler, lives with mother.
Prof. Alfred Cook, formerly v professor in I'nlversity of
Pennsylvania, left to write on sociology; lives alone III his
quarters with large supply of books.
Charles Bailey, teanoaer. lives alone.
George Bissell, carpenter, lives with rtlatives.
Ijiwrence Bell, manager Northern Illinois Telephone com
pany, lives with relatives.
Bert J. Sears, son of the richest man In Little Rock town
ship, lives with f.ulier.
Charles Tenney, retired, boards.
Dana Gall, teamster, boards.
Orvllle Kilts, lives with mother.
Wajren Keeh r, farmer, lives alone.
Charles Lawson, lives ulone.
Frank B. Tyler, retired, widower; lives villi mother.
There are others, but this will supply the demand.
Meet but Never Love.
There Is no lack of entertainments to bitng the bachelors
and unman led women together. There is a fine golf course,
literary societies, a society for the collection of blstoih al data
concerning the Fox river valley, and many other organiza
tions, but they seem to lead In every ot.ier way except toward
matrimony.
The conditions are su"h that the ministers and Justii.s
would starve if they depended umn marriage fees.
Hut there is always the expict.ttlon thai some day ('lipid
will descend upon l'lano and find the happiest hunting grounds
In all Illinois.
Qum-ptcr ITallicLay
upon the three feet square platform, and gazed upwar.l
toward the top of the pole, where the kitten was meowliu:
and looking down. He had divested himself of coat, waist
coat, and slioes, and without an instant's hesitation he st.u t
ed to climb the pole. Five feet he went up. then the sletnl i
pole began to sway and rock perilously, until It seemed thi"
It would break and dash the daring youth to death again.-1
the pavement below. Twice more he lifted himself by ln
hands, then a cry of horror and affright arose from th.
crowd. The pole bent outward and seemed about to snip
Hayne hung on. looking longmcly upward for an Instant
then,' seeing the impossibility of the feat, he slid down to tin
little platform and reluctantly descended to the ground.
Then Will I'pley insisted upon trying, claiming that In
was lighter than Col. Hayne. but after getting ti n fe, t up
the narrow pole. he. too. iv:n forced to give up.
The others. Just as brave and Just as anxious to make tie
attempt, saw the Impossibility of the feat and all stood j:.i.in.:
upward In hopelessness.
Just about that time Sump Hallldny was wakened up by
Miss Hetty, who Is Miss Tom's younger sister.
"Sump, you shif'less, lazy, get-up-less fellow," she sail
shaking him. " Wi.ke up. Tom's a-going to marry th' man
that saves her cat."
"Huh How's that?" inquired Sump, waking up.
Miss Hetty repeated her Information and added details.
"She ain't a-goln' to do nothing of the sort." said Sump.
" She's a-goln' to marry me."
" You'd better be getting a hustle, then, If you want me
for a sister-in-law."
"Sump " Forced to Make Attempt.
So Sump stretched himself, climbed out of the hammock,
and walked slowly down towards the city hall. He arrived
on the scene Just after the failure of Will I'pley and joined
the crowd
"Here's Sump Halllday," some one sang out. "He'll
rescue the cat."
" I reckon I'll hev tuh," remarked Sump, as he started
slowly across the square.
The crowd cheered when Pump disappeared inside the
city hall, and those who had started away returned to see
the laziest man in all Alabama attempt the feat that two of
his rivals bad essayed and which the others feared to attempt.
Kuhip was inside the city hall for quite a while and the
crowd, watching for lilm to appear through the little window
at the side of the tower, wondered at the delay.
Finally, after ten minutes, he stuck his head out of the
window, laid something on the ledge, crawled out, lifted the
something on to the platform at the base of the flag pole,
can fully hauled himself up and sit down on the platform.
Then lie lifted the object which he had carried up and
commenced to saw the Hag pole off near the base.
St
Rescues the Cat and Gets the CM.
The crowd let out one wild whoop of Joy and the five
crestfallen suitors stood dejectedly watching Sump until he
sawed off the pole, lowered it down the side of the tower
carefully so as not to shake the kitten from Its perch, care
fully deposited the kitten In his coat pocket, picked up the
saw und clambered In at the window.
Another cheer greeted him as he reappeared from the
city hall door and started down Hayne avenue toward the
Woodley mansion.
" Here's your cat, Miss Tom," he said, as he walked up
to the porch. (
Miss Tom went Into ecstasies over the cat, while Sump
stretched himself In the hammock and closed his eyes. When
she went for cream for " Toots " Sump rocked easily In the
hammock.
" You are going to keep your bargain. Miss Tom?" ho
inquired.
" I suppose 1 will have to."
" I reckon you will." he rejoined. " And when we get mar
ried I'll give that cat away to Susie. I don't like cats."
:99w59
Strangest Club in the World
1'SSIA has outdone Rome in its golden day, out-
I rivaled the splendor of ancient Athens, paled the
I glories of beautiful Paris. In Kharkoff a town of
I .1.1.. I, ln.l,.nll,a ,l, A I
oi" ii iiiiir-n-uuiB ,i me Fl "i'ir "i iiieru a never
have heard there Is a club, the most wonderful
and beautiful and also the most degenerate-that
the world ever has known.
The " Sylmrites Cercle " of Kharkoff Is the most luxurious,
the-most beautiful, the most degenerate of all the clubs the
world ever has known, and the lavishness, the luxurious
ncss, the beauties of the club have Just been revealed to tin
world because a ncwsimper man Impersonated one of the
members and secured an entrance to the palace at Kharkoff.
where never before the foot of man who was not a member or
an employe was set, but which have been tried by scores of
court beauties and lovely women from France and from all
the Russlas.
No woman dare tell that she ever has been a guest in
the Sybarites Cercle. but hundreds have been entertained
In that white marble den.
The Gram) Dukes Cyril and Boris-themselves the lead
ers of the exquisites of the Russian grand ducal cliqin -are
among the leaders of the Sybarites Cercle.
There acre twenty main limnan beings the richest of
Russia's young nobles who formed the cinie and. at the
cost of f Iok.usi, they built in Kharkoff a miniature white
marble palace, Mulshed with rare woods ami with Inlaid doors,
with beaten bronze and silver handles and plates, with silver
chandeliers. No one III Kharkoff ever saw the inside of the
mystic palace except the workmen and the members of the
dub and, when It was finished, these twenty exquisites fur
nished It ut tile cost of tens of thousands of dollars, donat
ing rate paintings, rich tapestries, und gold ami silver si rv
lces. Then an lOngllshman named Gowi r a renowned chif
was engaged with a corps of assistants who never left the
kitchen, and a dozen beautiful girls wire employed as wait
resses, and, ilad In the Grecian style, they were called upon
lo serve the banquets to the twenty young, human animal
who pose before the world as men.
The fame of tin- dub spread and other males of the same
sit sought intranet- to the club only to be refused -but the
members Invited thereto the women of highest rank and
greatest renown and wonderful feasts were given by them,
followed by orgies that would shame ancient Rome.
The plates on which the rare viands of the world are
served to tin- Sybarites are studded with rubles and opals
and diamonds and pearls, the table napkins are of lint st
silk, drawn Into beautiful patterns, the bull towels and
sheets for the In tls ure of pure silk, webbed finer than a spiil- r
can draw tin in and, allogether, I lie clubhouse Is the most
w omliTf ul in the world.
In court circles of St. Petersburg and Paris und Vienna
the beauties whispered of the wonders of the Sybarites pal
ace and. in time, the curiosity of Kurope was aroused o
I. now whut went on within those white marble walls at the
grand ducal resort at KharkofT.
It was known that the Englishman Cower was paid
fains) a Vear to cater to the twenty, an-1 that each of tho
nu mbers paid IJ.fitio a year dues, bt sides paying for sp clal
t ntertainint-nts.
M. Kozuikoff. a Journalist, determined to penetrate tint '
lip Merles. He impersonated a nn inln r who seldom i an.tj
from St. Pt ti rsliurg to Join in the luxurious orgies und wrote
for his pais r a description of the clubhouse and Its contents.
i i
si
1 1
n
a JV
