January 1. lOOT.. 8 TIIE OMAHA ILLUSTRATED BEE. High-Grade Wash Goods Department COMMENCING MONDAY MORNING. JANUARY 2. WB WILL CtASE OtTT ALL OUR FALL AND WINTER WASH OOOP8 AT VERY LOW FIGLims. $1.00 mercerised! white and striped and white and figured waistings the best grade made- JljCf will go at, yard 60c mercerised waistings the fine Imported stripes aud figures loC will go at, jard " $L0O fine cream knot voiles, will close .25C at, yard .'. - - All our 69c. 49c and 39c suitings or mixtures will go 7S t. T.rd All our 25c and 29c suitings, will go 1 fl C at. rard w WOOL DRESS GOODS SALE All winter wool gnofa mnst go now. All heavy salting, all winter fancy mohairs, all novelties, all heavy mohairs everything must go In order to make room for tb largest line of spring dress goods that ever waa shown In Omaha. All heavy suitings that aold at $1.50 will go at, yard All hoary suitings that aold at $1.98 will go at, yard All heavy sultinjts that aold at $2.50 will go at, ynrJ. All heary suitings that sold at $3.00 to $3.50 will go at, yard All Priestley's fanry mohairs that sold at, $1.9856 and 58 Inches wide, yard. 98c 1.39 1.69 1.98 1.19 LANDSDOWNE We are exclusive ajrenu for this fabric In Omaha. It Is going to be the most popular silk and wool goods f C yard, now v . 14 THE RELIABLE STORE. Broadcloths In all the fashionable C fl fl shades, at, yard, from $1.00 to. ..?.U U Chiffon broadcloths, worth $2.50, at, yard , All wool waistings and silk and wool waistings, at, yard, Itfc to ...1.98 .1.00 Watch our ads for the Great January Furniture Sale, an event of great economical interest Domestic suitings that sold at 15c and 19c will go 111 t. runt WV All fanry suiting novelties will go at 40 per cent olf. Arnold's best Flannelettes 18c quality 111 I 10c and at, yard IsSC at, Banaby and other fine Scotch ginghams worth 15c will go 12t$c Flannelettes. 7' w yard .... . H f 10c PLAIDS ARE VERY STYLISH-A11 UK- new Mail Orders Promptly Filled. Goods Guaranteed. All styles In French plaids for waistings j and shirtwaist suitings, at, yard 75c nt, yard The most complete lining stock and tailor trimming stock west of New York. JULrJU L y I IU vJ January Clearing Sale of Men's Fine Clothing Copyright 1904 bj Hrt Schsffner 6- Mar ner, latest styles and best fabrics Clearing Sale Price $7.59 Youth's Long Pants Suits, $5.00 Either double or single breasted styles, in fancy mixed and plain colors. $5.00 to $7.50 Youth's Overcoats at $5.95 and $5.00 Long and medium lengths, in oxford gray, fancy mixed and plain colors. Some Tersely and Timely Told Tales that Are Both Grim The Point of View. D 1 VR. WEIR MITCHELL relatea th following story of Dr. Stivers of t New York: l'ft It seems that Dr. Stivers had tmLttmJ a large dispensary cllnlo, and hardly a day passed that one or more cases of felon did not appear. "It won't hurt," wu always his comforting assur ance to the patient If - the latter evinced signs of distress. The good doctor's turn came ha. con tracted a felon himself. He poulticed It for about a, week and walked the floor with pain. One day his assistant surgeon said: "Why not lance it, doctor? It ought to have been dons week ago." "No doubt." replied Dr. Stivers. Then, after a long breath, he added meekly: "Perhaps perhaps you'd better, do It now." "All right," saW the assistant. "Put your finger on the table." - Dr. Stivers did as ha wsa bidden. As the a-sstant took up the knife the doctor cautioned him. "Be gentle: that's an awful sors finger." . i . "It won't hurt," remarked the assistant as he jabbed the sharp steel Into the fln gr. There came a, howl of agony from Dr. Stivers, and, grasping his finger In his other hand, be fairly danced about the place, ' giving ntteranoa to many long drawn out "Oh's!" "Why, doctor.". aai4 the assistant sur geon. "Its heard you tell patients hun dred of time that it didn't hurt to lance a felon." "No doubt you have." groaned Dr. Stivers, "but that depends upon whloh end of the knife a man Is at." New Tork Her ald . - Hew. Mlk Kaew. Two workman were, engaged In digging a wU whan suddenly a portion of the earta gavs way falling on and knocking down on of the men. . His companion caJied to hint and listened anxiously for a reply. "Pat speak, man;" cried Mike again from above, vars ye toadT" "No, B. L. BALDWIN a CO. General Insurance Agents Insurance Exclusively 1221 FARNAM STREET RESIDENCE BURGLARY AND THEFT INSURANCE, WITH A SPECIALLY ATTRACTIVE POLICY. Established 1891. Incorporated 1900 $12.50 Suits at $7.50 Garments whose worth can be read ilj recognized by the most inexperi enced buyers. Great variety of materials, in fancy mixed and plain colors Clear ing Sale Price only 7.50 $15 & $18 Suits, $10 This is an exceptional bargain op portunity. Newest styles, best fab rics, nobbiest colors and patterns cro to make up the finest line of iesi ime oi .$10 hand-tailored gar ments you ever saw at the price $12.50 Overcoats, $7.50 Finely tailored, fashionable cut coats, in all the newest shades and best patterns Clearing Sale price 7.50 $t5-$18 Overcoats, $10 Every garment hand-tailored, in the best possible man $10 Mike," came- the answer with a groan. "I'm not dead, but Vm apachless." With out more ado Mike set off for help as fast as his legs could carry him. Thumping loudly on the door of Pat's kinsfolk he summoned help, explaining that Pat had been knocked spachlesa and was burled by the earth In the well. "Who told ye so?" was the unexpected matter-of-fact Inquiry. "He told me hlmsllf," retorted Mike, Indignant at his word being doubted, "and begorra, woman, If ye don't bellev me come and ask him and he'll tell ye It'a the truth I'm spaklng." The Tta Uer. Domestic Nerve. Mrs. A. E. Matthews, the superintendent of the Immigrant Girls' Home of New Tork, was talking about the servant ques tion. "Never," she said, "was there such a de-t mand for good servants as there Is today. Our home tries to meet this demand, and in Its efforts It has good success. Maids from It are sufficiently Intelligent to be re spectfulto know their place. They de mand, however, humane and decent treat ment. Give them that and they work well. They do not make such errors as once were characteristic of a cook of mine. "She waa a good cook, but she had not been trained to rVcognlze her position. Thus, on the occasion of the arrival of my new winter bonnet, she came upstair to look at It, and after Bhe had given It a careful Inspection she said: " "What a darling of a bonnet! Won't you tell me who's your mllllrjerT I want to get one just Ilka It for myself.' "Baltimore Herald. Why the Bcitar Survived. Soma years ago the Inhabitants of an English town were moved to charity by the arrival of a cadaverous looking beggar with a barrel organ. He carried a large placard announcing that besides having a large family to support he had "but six months to live." He reaped a plantlful harvest, -and Dnalley disappeared, aoon to die of his JANUARY CLEARING SALE OF SILKS ' Monday we Inaugurate our annual clearing of silks. Our policy of opening each season with entire new lines, makes it Imperative to close out hundreds of pieces fine silks at a fraction of their real worth. Great Clearing of Plain Colored Silks I Great Clearing of Fancy Silks Great Clearing of Black Silks ALL SILK WHITE Worth 50c for WASH SILK 25c 400 PIECES ELEGANT FANCY SILKS Broken lines, one or two pieces of each style all select TP-, A Q L Cl shades and in the very best quality silks that sold at 75c, 85c, 98c, $1.25 and $L50 sell at JDC'tJC'QjC Clearing Sale of BLACK TAFFETA 24 lmhea wide, at BLACK TAFFETA 27 Inches wide, worth $1.00 on sale at '. BLACK TAFFETA 30 Inches wide, worth $1.25 on sale at , BLACK MESSALINE 30 inches wide, worth $1.50 on sale at BLACK PEAU DE SOIE 30 Inches at Flannel Department Extra, heavy Bleached Shaker Flannel at, yard So ltic Outing Flannel, Fancy Stripes and Checks, at, yard HJ Hest Made vard Wide outing Flannel, at, yard bo 26c While Wool Klnnne . at. yard lio 4uc All Wool Skirting Flannels, 30 Inch wide, stripes and check at, yard 2w Best Made l jinforters, flilkollne, at, yard 80 10c Extra wide and heavy Shaker Flannel, at, yard 6Q Bed Blankets Our $3 51 SO-SO, all wool Grey Bed Blankets, at, pair $3.50 Our S3.9S 12-4 tan and grey, nearly all wool Bed Blankets, at, pair 2 9S Extra good tan and grey Cotton Bed Blankets, at pair 6o Our 12-4 Grey Bed B ankets, at pair, $L2o 200 pain of Sample Be J Blunkets at leas than cost. The Largest and Freshest in IS pounds pure cane Granulated Sugar.. tl. 00 48-lb. sack High Patent Minnesota Flour 1140 Large sack Corn meal 12V4o 10 pounds Breakfast Oatmeal 30c 10 pounds good Japan Rice 25c 7 pounds hand picked Navy Beans 25c 10 bars best Jaunury Hoap 2Tc 2 cakes Toilet Soap 5c Condensed Mlnca Meat, pkg 6c Pearl Tapioca, Sago, Hominy or Farina, lb SHc 6-1 b. palls pure Fruit Jelly or Apple Butter 15c 1-lb. jar pure Fruit Jam 7V4c 011 or Mustard Sardines, can 8'4o 3-lb. can solid packed Tomatoes 7V4o Incurable dlaeace, everyone supposed. Four years later one of the native ministers met him In a distant city carrying the same organ and legend. "I saw you with that notice four years ago." he said sternly. "Well, It ain't my fault. Is it," whined the immortal one, "If doctors make mis takes?" Beer Rons at Hla Approach. Dr. H. W. Wiley waa talking about the "poison squad" tests that he makes to de termine the effect" upon the health of cold storage meats. "In these tests," h said, "It Is necessary to be cautious- As cautious," h added humorously, "as was the lawyer with the barrel of beer. There was once a lawyer who kept in his cellar a barrel of the finest Bavarian beer. Naturally he waa cau tious of this expensive beverage. He did not permit every Tom, Dick and Harry to enter his cUlar alone. "One day a job of bricklaying needed to be done near the furnace. A bricklayer was sent for and on his arrivel the lawyer presented him to his butler. " 'James,' he said, 'this Is the bricklayer whom' you know of. Take him down into the cellar and show him what is to be done. And, by the way, James, when you come up bring the barrel of beer up with you." "At this point the bricklayer Interposed' with a sarcastic smile. " 'I ain't afraid,' he said, 'of a barrel of beer.' " 'I'm sure you're not.' said the lawyer. 'I believe, though, that a barrel of beer would run at your approach.' "Washing ton Post. Caution. H. EL Buenneyer, the president of the Amateur Skating association, was talking .bout the caution that Is needed in the practice of figure akatlrg. "On must- be very cautious," said Mr. Buermeyer, "for there ar 'point In cer tain fancy figures wher a fall might mean a fraotured skull or a broken arm. At the him time, though, on does not need to carry caution to extreme. On doe not need to act ilk th old Boatonlan In the tavern. "This Bostonlan sat on evening In a tavern drinking beer with three companions of his own age. Th other drank their beer slowly a sip or two every Ave min utes. But the old Bostonlan, the moment a full glass was set before him, drained It down In a jiffy. "The friend on his right noticed his queer conduct " 'I say, Alexander,' he said, 'why do you always swallow your drink in on mouth ful r " 'Once,' the other answered, 'I had my glass knocked over.' "Baltimore Herald. A ' Lara; Mine. Senator Patterson of Colorado tells of a Cripple Creek character named Burns. H was an odd person, who always, no mat ter what his work, wore what used to b called a "Prince Albert." He struck a rich vein of ore, and named that th Prince Al bert Being of a generous and convivial disposition, this lucky fellow was, of course, surrounded by many self-seeking friends. When he and they were In tnelr cups some of them, with an ey to the mala chance, managed to wheedle out of Burns, on one pretext or another, a deed of a share In his mine. With royal prodigality h scattered deeds about among his retainer and camp followers, until finally something had te be don, nd th cas waa take a Into court TAF I fOsJ WJC Fine Black Taffetas worth 75c on sale 49c 69c 79c ,98c 1.75 wide, worth $2.50 on Bale , PLAIN ALL SILK STRONG FETA All colors worth . 75c, at Al Wool Challles, at , Henriettas, at , Wool 38 inch Suitings, at, Skirtings, mixed, at , 30c All 50c 1000 other burffalns GROCERTINVENTORY the City. GREAT REDUCTION SALE 3-lb. can Boston Baked Beans 7H 1 3-lb. can Hominy, Squash or Sauer Kraut TC4c n i , t". i. T - T" TUrt 4 i-iu can r.nriy guiio Diueu cm t- 2-lb. can Sweet SuRar Corn 7Wc I 2-lb. can Wax, String or Lima Beans... 7Vic Choice California Prunea. lb SVic CJnolce California Peaches, lb 5o Seeded Raisins, pkg ' ?Hc Cleaned Currants, lb 64c Xcelo, Egg-O-See or Malta Vita, pkg... 7Hc ! GREAT INVOICE SALE FRESH FRUITS. Fancy Mixed Nuts. lb. .l5Hc . lfc Larae Juicy Navel Oranees. doz Large bright Cape Cod Cranberries, qt. 7l4c New Colorado Honey, rack. 12c 12o i Juicy California Lemons, dos... Senator Patterson of Denver was one of the lawyers. He had: Burns on the stand. "Now, Mr. Burns," said Senator Patterson, "will you please tell the court how you can explain your conduct? The! evidence shows that you have deeded away twenty nine twenty-fourths of your mine. What have you to say to that?" "Well. Mlsther Patterson." replied the witness, "you must remember, sor. that the Prince Albert Is a very large mine." Archbishop Ireland's Joke on Illmaelf Archbishop Ireland doesn't mind telling a joke on himself. The . archbishop always dresses so unostentatiously that no one could guess his episcopal rank from his street garc Traveling one aay in a rural district, he met a good-natured woman In the car who, after some general conversa tion, asked him: "You're a priest, father, aren't you?" In a bantering mood the archbishop thought he'd try a quibble to put her at her ease, so he answered: "No, my good woman, I'm no longer a priest." The woman gave him a pitying glunce. Then she said, soothingly: 'Oh, the Lord help us, father! It wasn't the drink, I hope?" New York Sun. For Home Consumption. A northern man who had read many stories of "moonshiners," but had grthe.eJ very hazy ideas (if their habitat, went on a vacation trip last summer through the mountains of Tennessee. In a most Inac cessible region he was amazed to dl cov.r .n Immense field of corn, evidently mure than enough to .upport the population tor .r,7nH wh.;h. h . oabln for dinner h. mad Inquiry about It of bis hostess. "Pardon ma, ma'am," h said, "but I shouldn't think anybody could run a wagon down th trail from thJs valley to Sunr.se." "No, suh, I shouldn't reckon they could." "And there isn't any way of getting from here to the river or anywhr clu except by that trail?" v "No, suh, I reckon they ain't" ''Well, then, ma'am, how In the world do you folk aver man&g to market all th corn you raise In her?" Th woman, suddenly startled out of het composure, looked at him Intently.- Then she assumed an air of nonchalance again. "Why, uh." she said, "w don't mahket no cohn fom hereabouts. W generally manage to us all we raise In thet pahta" As the northerner wended his way up th trail that afternoon he had occasional glimpse of a sharp-eyed small boy follow- Ing at a respectful distance behind, who declined to come nearer or to go away, When he had come again into a city and related the experience his Tennessee friends looked serlou. "That' as close a call as you'll ever have," said on ef them. "They sure took you-all for a revenue officer. Next time you go up In these hills and see oorn. you eat all they put before you, but shut up about the rest." 3 An Unexpected Effect. Joseph Jefferson recalls th following story frlm his rich store of plctuiesju theatrical experiences. Sardou's "Cleo- pair" was being played by an Indifferent company, the leading role especially leav- Ing a great, deal to be desired. Th ptec dragged. For the death scene thejnanage- ment had arranged a novelty, a mechanical asp carefully wound up and set In motion for the fatal moment. unfamiliar to him, and asked if she were . At the proper moment the toy raited Its a member of his flock, head and, as was expected, gave a shrill "Oh, no," waa the tearful reply. "I am a hiss betcr plunging It fangs Into th arms Methodist and belong to Mr. Blank's con st th quoMtn. Luxlug th momsat e la- gregatieu, but as John' case Is contagious PLAIN COLORED MESSALINE SILKS Splendid shades, fl. worth $1.00, for OZfC Ml the Crushed or Broadtail Velvets that sold up to $1.50 and 12.00 in all colors on sale 9.8c Popular Priced Dress Goods IN OUR DOMESTIC ROOM. 50, 58 and 60-ln., all wool suitings, worth up to $3.00 yd. 50c 54 and 56-in., all wool suitings regular price from $1.50 to $2.00. at ." 4ij A laite line of Henriettas, Serges, Albatrosses, Etc., worth up to $1.25 a yard, at Waistings, all wool flannels worth 50c yd., will go at, Cashmere, Novelties, Suitings, worth 5t)c a yard, at . . 75c French Flannel, at 39c 2r.c 25c 29c 2:k 25c 2."c 25c go. too numerous to mention, all must TAKEN TO COMMENCE MONDAY Larire ripe Bananas, dos 12o California Figs, pkg 6o GREAT INVOICE SALE TEAS AND COFFEES. Golden Rio Coffee, lb 12Ho Fancy Golden Santos Coffee) lb lie Fancy Maricaibo Coffee, lb l'Hc H. B. C. Mocha and Java Coffee, lb 20c Interior Mocha and Java Coffee the finest blend on the market, lb 25m Tea sittings, in luc Choice Sundried Japan Tea, lb 25c Fancy Basket Fired Japan, Oolong, Gunpowder or English Breakfast Tea, lb 350 Great reductions In every department prior to Inventory. tense silence which ensued a vole was heard to remark: "Well. I agree with the' asp entirely." New Tork Herald. Was Too Bad. There Is a young woman in a certain remote part of the city who has aspirations to become a musician of note. Occasionally Bhe overestimate her strength. A short time ago she wan obligingly giving an ex hibition of her skill to a patronising com pany by picking her steps. through a Hun garian song. One of the sympathetic vis itors ventured the remark: "Do you know that thing Miss Pmasaer it piaying 8 awfully d.fflcult?" "Difficult!" echoed the other, who plainly showed an ab'nce of musical taste. "Dif ficult; I wish to heaven It was Impossible!" Philadelphia Ledger. Fit for Any Man's Bride. R. B. Ilunna of Fori Wayne, Ind., who has just been recommended for postmaster there by Congressman-elect Gllburt ol tho Twelfth die ti let, la a handjum man. ml among the persons noticing his l.koness in the newspaper in connection wlih hi ap pointment was a woman at Shlp.-hewana, north of Goshen, who Is the mother of three daughter, ail of them unma.rled. The woman wrote a Fort Wayne papar as follows: "Dear Mr. Editor: Having seen In your valuable paper the announcement of Mr. B, B. Haniu for the uext postmaster, and noticing by his picture that be must be a good looking young man and above the averag!' ,wriit "."m" k """" married. If single. I will send h.m pnoto- TaI'h" ot ,m " ughier. """ "' be beat in th country for good look. Thy can cook anything from sparaiibs and sauerkraut to roast turkey and plum pud ding. 1 have trained them to keep a hus neat and tidy and themselves likewise all of which would be most valuable to a " v , " ' , " " " postmaster or anyon looking for a lit companion, iut oues 1101 me gooa book say that 'It la not good for a man to b alone r. MOTHER." An Apt Reference. An Instance of legal courtesy occurred not ,on ,n wete room. A law-. " w,ln m" lu " brother lawyer engaged In a ( heated dl- cusslon. Th latter maintained his position. claiming ha could nnd hi authority, and began to turn over .the page of the statute book, when quick as a flash Mao said: "You will find what you want on page , section ." Mao's opponent looked up the reference and found th law governing Idiot. Th Oreen Bag. . Jolt (or m Minister, A young clergyman relates an Incident that occurred shortly after he was or- dalned. He had been called to a small town In central New England, which sup- ported a Methodist church In addition to his own, th latter being of th Baptist denomination, On night a few week after his ar- rival, he was awakened by a woman, who Implored him to make haste, as her hus- band was very ill and had expressed a dealr for spiritual consolation. Hurriedly dressing, he accompanied th woman, On . th way to her house the minister remarked that his companion face was Half Price Sale Continues Thousands of ladies', misses' and chil dren's high grade ready-to-wear gar ments, including suits, coats, skirts and waists At Half Price Nothing reserved, every garment must go. That the great value of our offer ings is appreciated is daily attested by the hundreds of satisfied buyers who throng our great cloak department. Monday we will add 1,700 new gar ments to our already tremendous stock. Come Early Monday In Our Skirl Section The entire stock of a bankrupt New York manufacturer to gether with all our own high grade stock of skirts, at half price. AU $C00 Skirts at 2.98 All $10.00 Skirts at 4.98 Handsome Walking and Dross Skirts, worth up to $12 aud $15, at 6.50 A Belated Shipment 500 new, Ladles' Coats Just received will be added to the stock Mondny and sold at half price. $7.50 Lndli's' Coats 3 7S $.00 Ladles' Coats 4.43 $14.5)0 Ladles' Coats 7.45 $20.00 Ladles' Couta 10.00 $30.00 Handsome Fur Lined Coats, nt 15.0!) Ladies' and Misses' Suits The most magnificent stock to be found In the west offered without re serve at half price. v All $8.00 Suits at 4.43 AU $20.00 Suits at 10.00 eenuurui uowus, iw value, cnoice 3U Children's Coats TOO children's coats which we do not want to invoice worth up to $(j.us your choice for , 2.95 Early Shopping Inducements From 8 till 9 a. m., Women's -IP From V till 10 a. m. Black ?n Flannelette Wrappers at XjC Mercerized l.mleisi.irts OlC From SIO til! yu0 a. in. Children's coats In great variety,' each $1.00 I did not like to ask Mr Blank to come to see him." Room for the Procession. In front of the residence of a judge In a pUaaar.t village In New York state stand at Intervals cf a few feet three orlglr.al "monarchs of the forest." One day a dis tinguished lawyer, having tarried too long at the wine cup, decided to walk home. l.nnce turnM him in the direction of th judge's residence. Suddenly locomotion was arrested by direct collision with th first of these famous trees. A model of manners, the lawyer made as profound obeisance as his condition would allow, and with an earnest "beg your pardon" moved on, striking the noond tree. After securing his hat and apologizing he passed on, only to run Into No. 4. Extending th right hand of fellwsh;p, he humbly ejacu lated : "Stranger, excuse me!" And barking up against the judge's fence he stn ,d with folded arms, cruised face and lingered a full half hour when a good Samaritan passed. "I say, squire, what are you doing therl?" "Why, don't you see, you fool!" hic coughed the learned counsel, "I'm waiting for this procession to pass." Marked According to Order. A story of British stolidity Is going th rounds. A certain wealthy American In London dropped into a shop to purchase a set of decanters. As the purchase represented more money than he bad on his person at th time, he gave his address at th hotel and instructed the assistant to mark them C. O. D. Th assistant mad a not of the request, but the purchaser waa surprised to find th goods left at th hotel without demand foi payment. When th parcel wa unpackkJ however. It developed that each decanter had been beautifully engraved In twining letters, "O O. D." Philadelphia Record. brand Polities. Senator Cockrell and Joseph W. Polk of Missouri, were to make campaign addresses tn th lima town on th same day. They left St Louis together, and until a late hour chatted tn th amoklng compartment Quaker Maid THE WHISKEY WITH A REPUTATION Awarded the Gold Medal at the Louisiana Purchase Expo sition for Purity, Quality and Perfection of Age FOB BALE AT ALL LEAPINO HABI, CAFES AND DRIO STORKS S. HIRSCH & CO., Kansas City, Mo. 'it www 4 ? -ii i AH $15.00 Suits at 7 50'' All $:10.00 Suits at 15,'dO $1MUM uowns at $75 Women's Waists In taffeta, peau de sole, etc., an exceptionally line Hue worth up to $0.U8 your choice 2 98 and Gay When they finally decided to retire Mr. Folk noticed the senator remove his shone and then carefully place them under the covers at the foot of his berth. He could not restrain his curiosity. "Why do you plaoe your shoes In bed with you?" he asked quizzically. "Sh-h-h! Not a word!" said the senator. "I am to address a peculiar class of my constituents tomorrow. They are gentle men from th tali timber. If I left thos shoe out the porter wculd polish them, , would he not?" "Mot assuredly he would," said Mr. Folk. "Well, down In this part of the country the people don't stand for statesmen with p jllshed shoes." Th Wnetn In the Case. Representative Hay of Vireinla tells of an altercation In a colored club in Richmond that resulted In nearly all the r.'.embers being hauled before a police mngttr.ite. "You wer present during this trouble?" y asked the magistrate of a witness. "Yes. yo' honah." "Then tell us. In a few words, Just how the difficulty began." "Well, yo' honah," replied the darky, with mwrh gTavlty, "I think It was when the chairman of de entertainment commit tee swatted da secretary ovah de head wtf de lovln' cup." Collier's Weekly. Oeorsre Ade's Kmmy Ross. Judge Saunderson. who Is praotlrlng law In Everett. Wash., formerly lived In Kent land, Ind., the boyhood home of George Ad, th humorist. "Ad was a peculiar character In his younger years," says the Judge. It mad my office a sort of lonflng pise during th little time he spent In lonflng. He was em ployed on a farm owned by a hanker. On day he walked Into the offlo and said te me: " That man I the best I ever worked for.' " 'Whyr I asked, for I knew that some thing funny waa coming from Ad. " 'Well,' he replied, 'h doesn't ask a man to do a day' work In ten hours he gives him sixteen.' " Suoom. Rye B t ft i"'. a 1 a. " V J IS. ' .1? Ik is 1 1",