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A '
Tradition' ( Tahiti.
TIEN I first went to Tahiti," Bald a
traveler from the south teu, "I
landed on one of the remote
Islands. The first night I went In
state to visit the chiuf. lie was a
line old fellow, fully six feet two In height,
and a man every Inch of him. I happened
to know people who had lived on hla island
(or a time. Through an Interpreter he
asked me all kinds of questions about then)
if they were well, If their hair was gutting-
gray, how much money they had, etc
Then conversation languished. .
"At length T heard him repeating to the
Interpreter a word that sounded like yonel
ulwan The Interpreter seemed to catch
It finally. He said:
" 'lie wants to know how Is John L. Sul
livan? Ia be fighting as hard as everr
" 'Oh, no,' I aald truthfully. 'John L. Sul
livan Isn't champion any more. He was
beaten by a big man from the west, and a
nan from the big Islands beat that man,
and another big man from the west beat
him.'
"When this was told to the chief he
looked me all over and said something in a
Very positive tone.
" 'He tells me said the Interpreter, that
he doesn't believe you. He thinks yoa don't
like John I Sullivan.'
"Everywhere I went on the Islands it was
the same story. When they found that I
was an American they all asked for John I
"It appears that the Americans first be
gan to come In numbers to the Islands
about the time when John Ia was supposed
to be unbeatable. These Americans Intro
duced the boxing game.
"It was a great hit. Every native wanted
to loam. And when the Americans told of
their great champion the natives took It all
In and made him a tribal tradition." De
troit Free Press,
Gettlas His to Work.
Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt, the president
of the Woman (Suffrage association, was
citing diplomatic ways of making children
Work.
"A Chicago woman," she said, "has a
little boy who hates to practice writing.
Last fall she told me that In this mattor
of writing she could do nothing with the
lad. But In December, when I met her
again, she said complacently:
" 'Well, Harry spends quite two hours a
day now at his writing regularly.'
" How In the world,' said I, 'did you bring
tills miracle to pass?'
"The woman winked slightly.
'I told him,' she said, 'to make out'. In
his very best hand, a list of everything he
wanted for Christmas, and be has been at
It ever since.' "New Tork Tribune.
nooning Ills Plghtfns; Blood.
"Uncle Joo" Cannon tells this story of
his early days in the practice of the law
In Illinois:
Patrick McDonald, an Irishman, was a
well known character in the town of Dan
ville. He was a loud talker and was con
stantly "butting In" where he wasn't
wanted. Harrison Wheelock. who was
known throughout the country by the con
traction of "Hat," was another local celeb
rity. Wheelock was talking with a fellow
eitizen In the main street one afternoon
when McDonald came up and attempted to
participate in the conversation. "Get out
of this," Bald Wheelock, and when McDon
ald attempted to parley, the former made
a lunge at him with his strong right arm.
McDonald ran like the wind and Wheelock
was close after him. Later in the day
Wheelock was placed under arrest by a
constable on a warrant sworn out by Mc
Donald, who charged that Wheelock had
threatened him and that he felt his life
endangered.
"Hat" Wheelock retained Cannon, then a
young lawyer struggling for a reputation,
to defend him. The case, which was heard
before the local Justice, attracted a large
number of the townsmen. McDonald had
given his version of the affair when "Uncle
Joe" started In on the cross-examination.
After leading him on for a while, Cannon
asked. In all seriousness:
"Mr. McDonald, you say that you are
afraid of being deprived of your life by the
defendant?"
"I do, sor," McDonald replied.
"Then you admit that Mr. Wheelock, the
plaintiff, can whip you?"
"Not by a long sight. I kin lick a dosen
of him."
"That's all, Mr. McDonald," responded
the young attorney. "That's all, your
honor," he said, turning to the court.
The justice, with great dignity, dismissed
the case.
First Uiiobi la Wisdom.
"Up in my bailiwick," said Colonel Abe
Gruber, "there is a Hebrew and a son of
the Ould Bod, who are near neighbors and
friends, but the descendant of Brian Boru,
who manages to make just enough to keep
him from week to week, has long been
filled with wonder as to tho causes which
make for the prosperity of his Hebrew
friends. To clear the matter up he called
on his friend, who, by the way, bears the
same Christian name as mlno, if it may
be so called.
" 'Abe,' said Mike, how is It you fellowi
are all bo prosperous? What do you do?
. Let me in on the secret.'
" 'Well, we're wise,' replied Abe. 'We eat
fish.'
" 'Pish, Is It? What kind of fish?"
"'1 sell 'em was Abe's shrewd reply.
"'How much aro they?' said Mike, his
curiosity now thoroughly aroused.
" 'Five dollars apiece.'
" 'I'll take one,' said Mike finally.
" 'We don't sell less than three, said
Abe, sizing up his man.
" 'Well, I'll take a chance, said Mike.
'Give mo three.'
"Abo went over to his safo after pocket
ing the $15 and brought out three diminu
tive fishes of the dried variety. These he
handr.l 1r Mike, who looked them over
careful!. -m1 finally took a bite from one
of thorn.
" 'Say, Abe said Mlko suspiciously,
'those things tasto a divll of a lot like
Bmoked herrings.'
" 'Now, you see said Abo In seeming
glee, 'you're getting wise already.' "Now
York Times.
A Traaredy in School Life.
Barrott Wondell of Harvard was citing
examples of anti-climax.
"A school master," se said, "had a visi
tor. He took this visitor to the play
ground. Here a half-doson boys were at
play, while a seventh, a lad of most In
telligent appearance, sat writing under a
tree.
" 'The boy at work said the school mas
ter, 'is Brown. I -am prcud of him. See
him, how diligently he applies himself,
while his friends waste their time In Idle
ness. I wonder what he can be writing?
Tomorrow's Latin prose, I fancy. We'll
find out.'
"Ho called Brown to him.
" 'Here, Jimmy, let me see that, he
Bald, and he extended his hand for the
paper.
"But the boy flushed and hung back.
No, sir he stammered. 1 don't want
to.'
' 'Note his modesty the school master
whispered to hie friend. Then he went on:
Come, Jimmy, come on. Let me see
what you have been writing there.'
"Still the boy demurred. But the school
master, Insisting, at last secured the pa
per, and this is what he found on it,
written in neat Imitation of a feminine
hand:
" 'Please excuse my son James from
school today, as he Is needed at home.' "
Palmerttaa Sat Him Dowm,
When the late Lord Palmerston, who had
a keen sense of humor, first put up for
the Parliamentary representation of Tiver
ton, and had duly Introduced himself to
the electors In the usual manner at a
public meeting, a youth, scarcely out of
his teens, mounted the platform and re
quested permission to ask his lordship
some questions.
The audience appeareed somewhat as
tounded at his Impudence, but the veteran
statesman showed neither annoyance, sur
prise nor contempt. Cooly, quietly and
clearly he answered question after ques
tion, till the malapert querist appeared
satisfied.
"And now, young mnn," said Palmers
ton, "may I be allowed to ask you a ques
tion?" "Oh, certainly, my lord; most certainly,"
replied the unsuspecting catechlst, "any
thing you please."-
"Thank you. Then may I Inquire, does
your mother know you're out?" asked his
lordship, gravely, and the youth made a
hasty exit amid roars of laughter. New
York News.
One en Cnlver.
F. L, Colver, president of Frank Leslie's
publishing nouse, tells the following as an
illustration of the quick wit of an Irishman
who was sent to take some furniture to
the storage warehouse preparatory to the
family going to their summer home.
Colver, who was In the library, heard
sounds of unusual pulling and blowing as
one of the men was staggering downstairs
under a weighty piece of furniture.
"What are you taking down," he called
out, "tho Ifght oak dresser?"
"No, sor," panted Pat, "sure Ol'm takln'
down the heavy .mahogony one."
Mutt Carpenter's Aside.
Former Assistant Attorney General James
M. Beck told the fo'.lowing story the other
day of "Matt" Carpenter, the famous Wis
consin senator. Carpenter was pleading
a case before the Supreme Court. Be
fore he got half through with his argu
ment tho Judges had made up thoir minds
that his caso was without merit, and, more
over, that he was unprepared. When he
finished his argument and counsel for the
other side got up to reply the Judges
whispered to each other, nodded, and then
tho chief Justice said:
"I don't think it will be necessary to
hear from you, sir."
Carpenter's opponent was very deaf, snd
he could only tell the chief Justice was
addressing him. He turned to Carpenter
for aid.
"What did the chief justice say. Matt?"
he whispered.
"He said he'd rather give you the case
than listen to you," Carpenter bawled in
his ear. New York Times.
What the Lion Tamer Feared.
L. T. Mlnnlck, of Pottsdam, Ohio., who
once traveled as head of a circus, has
many stories of the tricks and manners
of the show folk and of the wild animals
they carry about with them.
"Along In the days Just before his death
Colonel Dan Boone, the famous hunter
and trainer," he said, "developed a fear
of bronchitis, which grew to be a regular
nervous mania. He would go Into the
cage with a snarling lioness with young
cubs without tho slightest fear, but was
scared to death oi a bieexe. Ona diy,
after an exhibition fight with the fiercest
' lion we had he came out of the cage
and said to me:
'Louis, this will prova the end of ma
yet'
4 "Good Lord, colonel I said, 'you aren't
losing your nerve? You surely are not get
ting afraid of that brute?
" 'Afraid of that dog!' he said, disgust
edly. 'Afraid of my bat I Nothing of the
sort. But these cages are the worst places
for draughts in the country. I know I'll
catch a cough some day that'll prova my,
death "-Louisville Herald.
The Bey aeealated.
Baron Moucheur, the Belgian minister,
visited Baltimore last luoiilh. At a dinner
In Baltimore he said:
"The spirit of business enterprise anal
speculation is what impresses me most pro
foundly in America. For Instance, X was
riding one day on the outskirts of Wash
ington, and at a certain place I dismounted
and gut a little boy to hold my horse. I
was gone about ten minutes, and on my
return 1 found the first boy gone, and an
other, a smaller one, standing at tlie
horse's head.
'How Is this? I paid. 'You are not the
boy I left my horse with.'
" 'No, sir,' said the tiny urchin, 'I speck
Hated and bought tho Job oft the other fel
low for a dime
"Of course, after that,"1 the minister
ended, "it was Impossible for me to 'bear
the market."
How a Wnlter Lost a Tip.
At one of the Kansas City hotels where
the colored waiters give especially good
Bervlee, but a.ways expect adequute .re
munerations for the same from the guests,
a waiter was especially officious the other
day in serving a man from whom he ex
pected a liberal tip. When the meal had
been served and he was standing off at
one side, eagerly looking for an opportun
ity to be of service, lie said to the guest:
"Didn't yo' have a brothah heuh last
week, sah?"
"No," said the one addressed, "I believe
not."
' Well," continued the waiter, "then waa
a gem'man heah at mah table what looked
ve'y much like you, and he was so well
pleased with the service that he gave ma
60 cents when he left'
The guest had by this time finished his
meal, and as he arose he said to the ex
pectant servitor:
"Come to think of it, Sam, that was
my brother that was here, and I guess ha
paid for the whole family. He may be
back again In a week or two." Kansas
City Journal,
Incident of Collesre Life.
.President Flan of the Illinois Central
railroad tells tho following tale of his col
lege days: Some of his classmates went
to spend the "week end" at Oiirrlson's,
and amused themselves on Saturday even
ing with a little game of poker. On Sun
day they were all assembled In the Fish
family pew when the rector ascended the
pulpit and 'gave out this text: "And
Ephrlam went out with a full hand."
One of the young collegians leaned over
to Mr. Fish and whispered:
"Say, Stuyv, what a d d fool EpUraloa
was." New York Times.
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