llovv Rodney Imitated rpa.
APA, I'm K years old; how soon
shall. I be a big man and able
to smoke the way you dor'
asked Rodney.
Papa laughed, and said not
until Rodney learned to go to bed when
be was told, and pointed to the dock.
Rodney suld no more about it, but all
the same he thought a gnat deal.
One day when mamma was 111 and Jane
vim cross, poor little Rodney fo.lt very
lonely and forlorn. He went down to the
kitchen to see cook, but cook did not
want to be bothered. He went upstairs
agnln to tho nursery. How dull and quiet
It seemed! Even Dick, his beautiful new
rocking horse, had no attraction for him.
What should ho do next? Ah he looked
around tho room his eye suddenly fell
apon an object lying upon the edge of the
mantel. Was It, could it be a cigar It
was. Kodnoy remembered how papa had
placed It there during a skirmish they had
had the evening before.
Now, Rodney wanted to be a good boy
and do whut was right, but he took his
first wrong step by dragging a chair to
the flrepluoe and reaching the cigar, which
he carefully handled. "Ugh! It don't
smell very good," said Rodney. "I won
der If It tautcs as bad as It smells?" Tho
temptation was strong to place It be
tween his lips.
"It tastes pretty nasty;
gooder when it's lighted?"
perhaps It is
thought Hod-
Iey.
Ah, Rodney! Rodney! It Is always the
first step that counts. Matches were
within reach, und the llttto boy next
lighted a match another piece of dis
obedience. Ho lighted tho match and held it to the
cigar, as he hud watched papa do so
many times. He puffed bravely uwny for
some time, as ho thought he hud heard
papa say that people did not like to iimoko
at first. Pretty soon a very queer feeling
came over him, and It occurred to him
that papa always leaned buck In his big
chair when he smoked, and that he would
like to He back In a big chair, too.
Ho he got down from the chair; but,
strange to say, all the furniture in the
room began to run away from him nnd
dance around the room. He wanted to
run, too, but ho could not tlnd the door.
"1 want my mamma! Oh, where is my
mamma? Whore Is Jane? Where Is
everybody?"
No one came, and Rodney staggered
Into a corner and luy there, feeling very
111 and very much frightened.
When Jane came to take him for a walk
she found a little wlilto-faeed, woeliegono
boy on tho floor, and beside him tho dead
cigur which told the sad tale.
Kodney has changed his mind now about
smoking, and although he still wants to
be a man, he says he will never, never,
never smoke again!
. The Original I'arle Sam.
Although the nickname "t'nelo Sain" la
almost universally applied to our country,
many, perhaps, huvo not heard the story
of Its origin. The following account U
quoted from "Watson's Annuls of Pennsyl
vania," published in the early half of the
last century;
"The name grew out of the letters 'E. A.
U. 8.,' marked upon tho army provisions
barreled up at Troy for the contractor, El
bert Andersot., and implied tho initials of
Ms name, and 'IT. 8.' for the United States.
It happened that these provisions were In
spected by Samuel Wilson, usually called
by his men 'Uncle Sum.' One of his work
men, upon being asked the meaning of the
letters 'E. A.' and 'U. a,' replied, archly.
' "
that It meant Elbert Anderson and Uncle
Sam (Wilson). The joke went round mer
rily among the men, some of whom, after
ward, going to the frontier, and there
partaking of the very provisions which
they had assisted to puck and mark, still
adhered to calling it Uncle Sam, and as
everything else of the many appointments
bore also the letters 'U. 8.,' Uncle Sam be
came a ready name, first for ull that ap
pertained to the United States, and finally
for the United States Itself a cognomen
which Is likely to be perpeutated, as that
of John Hull for old England."
The Wise Gnome,
Within a deep and darksome wood there
lived a learned gnome,
And in an ancient saucepan he made his
coiy home.
Ills name was so Impressive It filled every
one with awe
'Twas Dlomed Diogenes Demosthenes da
Uraw.
Ills tamo for wisdom was so great that
even passing birds
Would stop und listen eagerly to Dlomed's
wlBe words.
One day two little jub-jub birds were
walking that way.
They paused und Haul: "Oh, Dlomed, do
teach us something, pray!"
"Ay, ay," tho ancient gnome replied; "now
listen well, you two;
A bit of Information 1 will gladly give to
you.
Ton lustrous luminary empyrean queen of
night
Our libratory, vibratory, lunar satellite,
That rotary orb revolving "round our
sphere terrene
Is but coagulated curds, tinged chromium
berylllne!"
Although a bit bewildered, the Jub-jub
birds said, "Oh
Oh, thank you, dear Diogenes; that's what
we wished to know."
Carolyn Wells in April St. Nicholas.
Aa Interesting; Kx perlnient.
It is an acknowledged fact that a body
which will scratch another body is gen
erally harder than the first body; thus
diamond Is harder than gloss, glass la
harder than marble, nnd so on. A steel
point will scratch a piece of iron, and is
therefore harder than copper, and this
brings us to the conclusion that It should
be possible to drive a needle (which, of
course, Is of Bleel) through a penny, the
latter being an alloy of chiefly copper and
other metals. Hut it will be useless to try
to drive tho needle Into the penny as you
would a nail into a piece of wood, for the
needle, being made of steel and therefore
brittle, will snap at the first blow. But
here Is a remedy: Drive the needle through
the center of a cork and then place It well
on the middle of a penny, which In Its turn
has been placed upon a bolt or piece of Iron
with a hole In tho center. Take a heavy
hammer nnd strike the cork several times
violently In the center, when you will lind
the eeedlo will have been driven through
the penny. This experiment can be done,
but it is not easy, so when it is success
fully accomplished it is quite a foat.
A Cot nays ring-Pong.
In Bedford, Mass., there is an 8-months-old
kitten who plays ping-pong by himself
and does many tricks which are often per
formed by dogs, but seldom by cats. He
will sit in Imitation of a rabbit while he
begs for a bit of meat, and will do a regu
lar dance on his hind legs In return for a
second helping.
Tiger Is as Inquisitive as a monkey. If
a box comes to the house ho Is the first to
want the cover removed. He gets Into bu
reau drawers, Inspects the contents of vis
itors' suit cases If the lids are left un
fastened, and last Christmastime, when a
tree, hung with presents, was placed In one
of the rooms. Tiger, after looking it care
fully over and perhaps wondering why he
hadn't noticed It before, climbed up to an
easy perch among the branches and pro
ceeded to eat the festoons of popped corn.
When there la no one disposed to play
ball with Tiger he calls the game himself,
and at once becomes the whole team. He
throws the ball into the stir, bata It about
with his paws, runs to the top of the staira
for a throw-down, and after winning a hot,
hard game, curls himself up In a punch
bowl for a snooze.
When callers come he usually takes a
conspicuous station from which to look
them over. Some he will select as friends
and show them that in his estimation they
are all right by looking them wide-eyed In
the face, arching his pretty back and
smoothing his sides on their clothing.
Those who do not impress him favorably
be lets alone. New Tork Times.
The Modern Baby.
They say that I must not be rocked,
Because my brain might addle!
If I could speak, they would be shocked;
I'd call that fiddle-daddle.
And yet, of course, they ought to know
Still, I can't help but wonder
If some one rocked them years ago
When folks were upt to blunder.
They stand around me, looking wise.
And say they must not pet me;
A gentle pat to soothe my cries
They claim would further fret me.
My raising must conform to law
Down to each Jot and tittle
Did people hold them off with awe
When they were buld and little?
They say that bouncing me la sure
To make me very nervous,
That children's frames cannot endure
Such sadly thoughtless service.
Yet these phlegmatic scientists,
Kre they began to toddle
Were bounced until their chubby fists
Played tattoos on the noddle.
When I stretch out my willing arms
Inviting them to frolic.
They rise in wondering alarms
And talk of croup and colic
It's hard to be a baby now;
They will not pet or jump us.
And when 1 sleep, my peaceful brow
Must lie struight with the compass.
When I grow up, of course I'll be
A triumph scientific;
But really It stems to me
My hard luck Is terrific.
If 1 could only speak my mind
But then they would not thank me,
One unbanned custom they would find
They still think they may spank me!
Chicago Tribune.
Dolly Varden's First Party.
Her mother called her "Doll;" her
grandpa called her "Dolly Varden." und
she was u little girl 4 years old. One day
her father brought her a letter from the
postofllce. It was small und pink, und
looked good enough to eat. Dolly Varden
could not rcud, so her fulher lei.d It tor
her. It said:
"Miss Jenny Barry requests the i! rure
of Miss Dolly Vardtu s ennpuuy next
Wednesday afternoon from 3 till 5 o'clock."
Jenny Barry was another HUlo girl, a
very dear friend of Dolly Vurden's who
lived Just a little way around the corner.
When Dolly Varden heard what was In
the letter she was so pleased that she
danced around the house ull day, Blngiug:
"I'm going to a party a really, truly
party purty to Jennie Barry's party yes,
I am."
Wednesday came at last, and as soon aa
dinner w;is over Dolly Varden begged to
bo dressed at once, for fear she would be
late at the party.
So mamma brurhed the nice long curls
over her lingers, put on the little red shoes
and a white dress with a little red sash,
and said: "You may go now. If you do
not like to wait." But Dolly Varden went
Into tho parlor and sat down In a big arm
chair near the window. She did not want
to be the first one there, and so she waited,
thinking some other little girls would come
along soon, and she could go with them.
But do little girls came that way, and so
she watched and waited and grew very
tired, for you aee she bad to ait very atiO,
so aa not to muss the white drees.
After a long time mamma came Into tho
parlor. "Why, Doll,'' ahe said, "what are
you waiting for? You must hurry, now; It
is half-past 3."
"There haven't any little girls gone yet,
mamma, and I don't want to get there tho
first one."
Pretty soon mamma came in again, and
said: "Come, Doll, if you are going at all
you must start now. It is 4 o'clock."
But Doll said, "Oh, I'm afraid if I go
now I'll be the lust one there, and I'd hate
to be."
So Dolly Varden still sat In the big arm
chair and watched; and no little girls went
by, because they had all gone around an
other corner long before, and Bhe grew
very unhappy Indeed.
She wanted to go to the party, but she
was afraid to, and the more she thought of
it the worse she felt. And there was the
party Just around the corner!
Pretty soon the big tears began to roll
down over the pink cheeks, and after a
little the nice long curls were all In a
little heap on the arm of the big chair.
Then, all of a sudden, the front door
opened, and a little girl came In. She
looked round and saw Dolly Varden all
dressed up, crying in the big armchair.
The little girl ran over to her nnd put her
arms around her, and said, "Why, Dolly
Varden! Why couldn't you come to my
party?"
Then Dolly Varden sobbed while she said:
"I I could. But I didn't want to be the
first one there, and then I I was afraid
I'd bo the the last one, and and so I
didn't come at all! Oh-h-h!"
Then Jenny took her arms away from
around Dolly Varden and folded them and
stood up straight and said: "Well, you
are a baby ,and I'll never Invite you to
another party as long as I live!" and she
went home.
She kept her word, for she never had an
other party. But Dolly Varden was In
vited to many othe.rs, and she always went
early, for she had decided that It was bet
ter to be the first one than the last one,
and better to be the last one than not to go
at all. Youth's Companion.
The Land of Someday.
There's a wonderful land fur awuy, away.
The blissful land of Someday.
We watch for it always, uiul wonder why
It keeps slipping off to the sweet by and by.
'TIs a very strong land, this land of Some
day, Which we're sure we will find Just over the
way;
When we think It quite near, it will flv
Without ever stopping to tell us good-bye.
i
Oh, a very queer land la the land of Some
day! And we're sure 'tis crammed full of all that
Is Ray;
And when we find It our work will be won
derful fun.
And we'll never, no never, leave one thing
undone.
t
I wish, oh, I wish, I could reach in some
way
The beautiful, beautiful land of Someday.
Kor there, I am such, we never would find
The work we should do so far, fur behind.
In this wonderful land, the land of Somo
day, The children who live there, I've heard peo
ple say,
Have the loveliest time, I've even been
told.
Their pupa and mammas don't know how
to scold.
And the hoys and the girls In the sweet
Someday land.
Just hurry right off at the word of com
mand. And do all they're told, and are never heard
to say,
'I'll not do it now, I'll do It some day."
Cleveland Leader.