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f lOMMENCINO on his first meeting
I I with James McNeill Whistler,
1 " I f u rlr Twain la ronnptAil mu aav.
Ing: "I was Introduced to Mr.
Whistler In his studio In London.
I had heard that the pilnter was an incor
rigible joker and I was determined to get
the better of him If possible. So at once I
put on my most hoplessly stupid air and
drew near the canvas that Mr. Whistler
was competing 'That ain't bid,' I said;
"It ain't bad, only here In this corner'
and I made as if to rub out a cloud effect
with my finger 'I'd do away with that
cloud If I was you.' Whistler cried, ner
vously: 'dad, sir, bo careful there. Don't
you pee the paint Is not dryT' 'Oh, that
don't matter,' said I, "I've got my gloves
on.' We got on well together after that."
Didn't Change Her Name.
General J. B. Gordon tells In his recently
published autobiography the romance of
giuff old General Ewcll of the confederate
army. In his early manhood he had been
disappointed In a love affair. When he was
promoted to the rank of major general he
evidenced the constancy of his affections
by placing upon his staff the son of the
woman' whom he had loved In his youth.
The fates Ceerced that Ewell should le
shot in battle and become the object of
tender nursing by this lady, who had been
for many years a widow Mrs. Brown. Her
gentle ministrations soothed his weary
weeks of suffering and a marriage ensued.
Ewell never seemed to realize, however,
that her marriage to him had changed her
name, for he proudly presented her to his
friends as "my wife, Mrs. Brown, tlr."
Miss Anthony Outdone.
An amusing anecdote Is told of Susan B.
Anthony, Illustrating her keen sen.e of
humor. In company with -her niece and a
party of tourists she was sightseeing In
Europe. A Capuchin monastery was in
cluded In the tour. They had scarcely en
tered the monastery before they were pre
sented with that bane of travelers a book
for the registering of names. The pen pre
sented was an especially refractory one,
and it was with a great deal of pain and
labor that the names were written out.
Thin the visitors were Invited to Inspect
the building.
The party hud proceeded some way when
Miss Anthony's absence was noted. "Where
la Miss Anthony;" "Where's Miss An
thony," was the cry. No one knew. A
searching party was Instituted. After a
long hunt they discovered Miss Anthony
leaning over the register, slowly, deliber
ately and painfully writing the following
incendiary words: "Perfect equality of
rights for women civil, political and re
ligiousis today and has been for the last
half century the one demand of Susan B.
Anthony."
But It was demonstrated that even the
Capuctan monks do not entirely sympa
thize with "advanced" women. Shortly
afterward the same party returned and
looked with curiosity to see what had be
come of the daring Inscription. With equal
painstaking care and determination as that
displayed by the great "suffragist" a mem
ber of the order, bent on expurglng dan
gerous heresies, had taken his pen and
crossed and crlscrossed the words so that
nothing remained of Miss Anthony's fa
mous sentiment but an Ignominious
smudge.
Jarring Naval Dlanlty.
A little story Involving Rear Admiral
Rodgers, the commandant of the Brooklyn
navy yard, and a very raw marine re
cruit came out recently, when Colonel
Splcer called the green marine before him
to be lectured. Admiral Rodgers and Cap
tain Perry, the captain of the yard, were
making a tour of inspection, when they
passed the marine doing sentry duty, who
failed to salute them.
"Don't you know enough to salute when
an officer passes you?" asked the admiral,
going back.
'Qee!" exclaimed the marine. In a tone
of most uncomplimentary astonishment,
"are youse fellers officers?"
The admiral ordered him to present arms,
and the man nearly fell over himself In
his awkward efforts to obey the command.
"Here, let me have your gun," and, tak
ing the piece, the admiral showed the man
how to present arms gracefully and prop
erly. "Now," said the commandant, hand
ing back the gun, "let me caution you
that a sentry must not under any circum
stances ever give up his arm."
"I seem to le putting my' foot In It for
fair," said the green marine, looking dis
couraged. An hour Inter the admiral and the cap
tain chanced to pass the same sentry aguln.
This time he presented arms with a flour
ish that almost knocked his head off.
"Hey, did I do it all right that time?"
he yelled after the admiral, seeming to feel
hurt when he received no answer from the
dignified commnndant. Philadelphia Led
ger. How to Be Sure (A Get Married.
Like the president of the United States,
Senator Cockrell of Missouri Is a warm
advocate of early marriage and the large
family.
In conversation not long ngo with a suc
cessful young business man of Kansas
City, In whom the senator has been Inter
ested since tho former's boyhood, Mr.
Cockrell bluntly Inquired of the young man
why ho did not marry. "You're doing
quite well," said Mr. Cockrell, "but you
would do better if you got a wife. Take
my word for it, she would help you might
ily." An incredulous smile came to the face
of the young fellow. "Perhaps you are
right, senator." he responded, "but I am
not sure that I could find one. You see,
my life has been such a busy one I've
had little opportunity to cultivate tho
qualities that attract a woman. I'm that
diffident where women are concerned that
I doubt I should know the way ' to go
about securing a wife," he added, some
what Jocularly.
"Tut, tut. young man!" exclaimed Mr.
Cockrell, grimly. "If the worst come to
the worst you might, bearing In mind the
rule of 'following the line of least re
sistance,' get acquainted with an old
maid!" New York Tribune.
Raked in the Pot.
The visit of Joseph Jefferson to Wash
ington rts revived a story related by
"Billy" Florence, with whom Jefferson was
associated years ago. Poker was a hobby
with Florence and he ueed to tell poker
stories by the yard. One of his favorite
anecdotes told during his last vUlt to
Washington had Senator Vest of Missouri
as its hero. ,
According to Mr. Florence, Senator Vest
once sat In a poker game In which It
seemed he had not a ghost of a chance to
win. He was a young man and the other
four men were old stagers. They knew
Mr. Vest had Just been paid a lurge legal
fee and they set about relieving him of
the responsibilities of so much wealth. The
place was a little town and the game was
played in a small shed, which had no
other covering for the earth floor than
a lot of fresh wheat straw. A dry goods
box served as a table. The cards were
"stacked" and almost at the beginning of
the game there was a Jack pot. Mr. Vest
opened It on three queens. As the cards
were "fixed" the other men held even bet
ter hands and raised before the draw.
Mr. Vest stood the rslse and drew two
cards, one of which happened to bo the
fourth queen.
The gamblers, not expecting that chance
would so better young Mr. Vest's hand,
went after him warmly. An outsider, who
was a confederate, looked over Mr. Vest's
shoulder and aaw his hand. He held up
four Angers, nodded, winked, coughed and
did everything else he could think of to
warn his friends, but, confident In the suc
cess of their card stacking, they paid no
attention. He saw that Mr. Vest would
break the whole party before the betting
ceased, and In desperation he lighted a
match, dripped It on the straw-covered
floor and made for the door. The gam
blers sprang to their feet, but Mr. Vo.-it
remained perfectly cool. He took time to
call, laid down his invincible queens,
raked In the stakes, and as he went out
the door, his coat talis on fire, he re
marked, blandly: "Let her burn, I take the
pot." .
Knemlea Heroine Friends.
In the early days Of North Dakota Sen
ator Jud La Moure and Alexander McKt n
zle, tho latter famous as the most during
sheriff in Bismarck, wero bitter personal
and political enemies. Whatever one
wanted done was sure to be opposed by
the other, and they carried their enmity
to each other to grcit and sometimes ridic
ulous extremes for men as level-headed as
they were In ordinary matters. Each had
a host of friends and these were arrayed
In hostile camps, political, social and busi
ness. The two men have become recon
ciled, however. Some time ago McKensle
got Into trouble In Alaska and narrowly
escaped a prison sentence for contempt of a
local judge, from whose Jurisdiction the
Iiismarckiun rerroved a prisoner. After a
hard right McKenzle was released and re
turned east, broken In health. For mcnths
he has been lying In a St. Paul hospital,
hovering between life and death and de
serted, by a majority of his former friend.
Here li's old enemy. La Moure, four.d him
and at once took up his station at the bed
side of the stricken man, ministering to
his every want with the solicitude of a
mother. Mainly owing to La Moure's care
ful nursing McKenzle Is recovering his
health and expects to leave tho hospital In
a week or two, when hla old-time adversary
will escort him to Bismarck. It Is sife to
say that the friendship thus establh-hed
will never be broken. McKenzle a few
years ago was a perfect specimen of phys
ical mnnhood, standing six feet four Inches
and being built In proportion.
An Amnalaar Breach.
Peneral Ian Hamilton, recently visiting
in this country, figures In one of the bst
campaign stories of the Botr war. The
incident happened during the campaign last
of Bloemfonteln, when Hamilton had com
mand of an assorted column, half Canad'an,
half regular, that cemposed the extreme
right wing of Roberts' army.
General Hamilton reviewed the Csnadlan
Infantry one day In a small village for the
purpose of telling them they must stop the
plundering for which they were so notorious
that they had earned the nickname of "(he
Thousand Thieves."
The column had Just drawn up and was
waiting for Hamilton to begin the review
when a ragged rooster ran out from a hut
and across the front of the line. A kind of
shiver ran through the volunteers. Sud
denly a private left the ranks and took
after tho rooster.
"Halt!" shouted Hamilton.
The soldier ran on. He shortly overlook
the rooster and turned back, wringing the
neck of the fowl. As he passed the gen
eral he noticed the fierce scowl on his face.
The soldier was an Irish boy from Toronto
and not easily daunted, but this time he
temporised. Throwing the defunct rooster
at the general's feet, he said:
"There, new: I'll tache ye f halt whin
the general says so!"
History records that the column laughed
and the general smiled. Also that the sol
dier got only two days In "quad" for one
of the most bare-faced breaches of disci
pline In the records of the most Irregular
corps In the army.
New Impressions of America.
New Impressions of America are being
borne In upon the Baron Cederstrom. Pal
tl's husband, dally. His latest strengthens
his belief that the American people are
thoroughly accommodating.
The buron wus walking up Broadway
with Mr. Franoke, treasurer of Puttl'a
company, when a number of pieces of the
Are department upparatus dashed by. The
buron stopped short In admiration.
"Wonderful!" he ejaculated, admiringly.
"Wonderful! What magnlllcent horses!"
He watched the apparatus out of sight
and was greatly surprised when, a few
blocks further up the street, he met It
coming back. He remarked to Mr. Francku
that he thought It was a great deal of
fuss to make for what apiwured to be noth- '
Ing, and Mr. Francke replied, carelessly:
"Oh, didn't you understand, baronT I
arranged :hnt for you. I thought It might
please you."
The baron's gratitude almost caused him
to fall on Mr. Fruncke's neck. "That was
more than kind of you," ha exclaimed,
"and I appreciate It highly. This Is cer
tainly a wonderful country and you Amer
icans are wonderful people. I have never
before seen any so hospitable and accom
modating and no willing to put themselves
out to olillgo a stranger."
When Mine. Patti hoard of the exhibition
arranged for the baron's Wnellt, however,
and heard his praises of Mr. Francke'B
kindness, she had no comment to make,
not even thanks for the baron's entertainer.
She merely looked at her husband. That
wus all. New York Times.
It Wouldn't Do.
The lute Dr. Cyrus Edson was a great
athlete In his youth, and to the Inst he
wus not prouder of his fame as a physi
cian than of his fame as an oarsman. Dr.
Edson rowed in the notable Columbia crew
of 1878 at Henley.
Talking one day about athletics abroad.
Dr. Edson said: "Our college yells are an
amazing thing to foreigners, who have no
yells themselves. The 'tiger-sls-boom-ah' of
Princeton the yell 'I yell, yell, yell,' of
Cornell and our 'brek-ek-ek-co-ax' and
'whorah' and so on amuse tho good people
across the water enormously.
"I well remember the visit of the Cornell
crew to London some years ago, and the
comments on this crew's yell that an Eng
lishman made. Cornell was to row the Lon
don club, to which the Englishman be
longed, lie repeated with a laugh the
Cornell slogan 'Cornell, I yell, yell, yell,
Cornell, and then he aatd:
" 'It would never do for us to adopt a.
similar yell, would it? It would never do
for us to shout: "London, done, done, done.
London!' "
Borne Things Omitted.
Returning voyagers from England bring;
back this story, told by H. Clay Evans,
consul general at London; An American
from Buffalo went abroad! He vlelted
Paris and afterward fell on London, where
he boasted of hla knowledge of ParirUn
customs, meals, wines, pictures and every
thing else the traveler sees and gets. "Of
course," said Evans, "you enjoyed some
pommes de terre In Paris?" "Not at all,
not at all," replied the man from Buffalo.
My wife is traveling with me."