TIT 13 OMAITA DAILY IIEE: WEDNESDAY, MATtCII 18, 1903.
Tile oniaiia Daily Bee.
K. nrjii:VATF.K, KDITOR.
PUHMHllKll KVKRY MORNING.
TKRMH OK PlHH'RM'TION.
JDaily Bee (without Sunday), one Year.. 14.0)
lally liee Hlirt Sunday, One Year
Illustrated liti-, on.- )pr
Hunday I'.re, one i'rar J i
HaturoHV Ue, unp Yenr 1
iwentle'th Century Karmer, one Year.. 1.0)
DKI.IVKKKO HY CARHIKH.
f)ally I!ee (without Sundny), per ropy.... Zc.
ally Bee (without Hund.-iyi. per week. ..12.!
(ally Hop (tricludlna Sunday), per week.. 17c
Kundav Hee, per ropy
Evening lie- (without Sunday), per week o
livening Ueo (including Sunday), per
week 10n
Complaint!" of Irregularities In delivery
thould he addressed tj City Circulation De
partment. OFFICIOS.
Omaha The liee Hulliilng.
Bouth Omaha City Hall Hulldlng. Twen-ty-lltlh
and M Kneels.
Council Bluffs -n l'earl Street.
Chicago lt)4 Unity Hulldlng.
New Yorlc-a'.Js Turk How Hulldlng.
Washington aiil Fourteenth Street.
C( KKK.SI' )N DK.NCK.
Communications relating to news and edl
;rtul matter hhonhl le aildrunaed: Omaha
&e, Editorial ljcpartmeiit.
' HKMITTANCK8.
Kemlt by draft, express or postal order,
pavable to The Hee Publishing Company.
Only 2-cent stamps accepted in payment of
mall accounts, personal chocks, except on
Omaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted.
THE HICK PUBl-lSUING CO.Ml'ANY.
STATEMENT OK CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss.:
George B Tzschuck. secretary of The Bee
Publishing' Company, being duly worn,
aays thai the actual number of full nnd
complete copies of The Dally, Morning.
Evening and Sunday H printed during the
month of February, 1!'3, was as follows:
1 IHt.lU" 1 iiW,li2!
2 ;u)ao n '. ai.aao
I 'M,XU 11 31.B40
4 ao.HH IS 31.4M)
t ;;o,4!M 19 3I,4fW
6 30.5TO . 20 81,4110
7 :i0,03O 21 81,070
t uit.stoo D2 atvjus
ft 30.610 23., 31,030
10 8n,ftOO 24 31.N50
11 .10,(1514 28 31.4lt
12 30,0-40 26 31,020
13 80,040
14 30,570
27 31.000
28 31,780
Total...... H&3A.VA
Less unsold and returned copies.... U.304
Net total sales S44.00H
Net average sales 80.145
GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
belore ma this 2lh uay of February. A. I.
1903. M. B. HUNGATK,
(Seal.) Notary Public.
Our Dave will now Bet about to have
blmself "prominently mentioned" for
loine otber Job.
It Is pretty snfo to Infer thnt William
I. Bryan as a Juror means William J.
Hryan as the whole Jury.
What could be 'more fitting than to
launch Shamrock III on St. Patrick's
day as an uuspiclou omen for Its quest
it Anierlcu'sVun. -
A special order should be placed forth
with with the weather man for some of
his best brand for tho day of the presi
dent's visit to Omahii.
Dave Mercer was tho only applicant
for the position of director of the census,
out President Koonevelt felt himself free
to let the place seek the man rather
than tho man seek the place.
County Treasurer Elsiisser has made
(.Bother . monthly statement telling In
vhat banks the county money Is depos
ited but there Is not . word telling
where the Interest ' earned on this
county money Is planted. .
The Board of Education will retain the
rule agulnst e employment of married
women as teachers in Its revised code,
but tho rules will be promptly sus
pended as usual wlieuever a case arises
backed by a strong enough pull.
The task of City Electrician Schurig
to locate fifty electric street lamps at
200 different street Intersections must
ho very much like that of the newspaper
editor who has twenty-live columus of
reading matter and ouly ten columns of
(pace. I
Congressman Do Armoud extends an
Invitation to erring democrats to come
back, but falls to say whether the In
vitation reaches any further than the
rear seats, which Bryan said the peni
tents must occupy for a probationary
period before moving up front.
One of the addresses at the Jackson
day banquet of the Iriquols club at Chi
cago was intended to give the demo
crats a look Into 1004. The trouble is
that most of tho shrewd democrats
are already filled with apprehension
that they will have uothlug but a look
In 1004.
Ex-Speaker Henderson has been too
long Identified with the west to sep
arate himself entirely from western In
terests, no matter how far east he may
go in the pursuit of professional duties.
Colonel Henderson Is a western man
through and through and will never feel
perfectly at home except iu the west.
The convlctl-m of women for capital
or other serious crimes almost sluinl-
taneouidy lu many parts of the country
Indicates either that the sex Is Incom
ing less hrw abiding or that the sympa
thy usually excited by wnu-en prisoners
Is Itelng dulled. This might lx a good
subject for the club women to discuss.
It Is said that when two soothsayers
f used to meet on the streets of ancient
Borne they could not help laughing In
each other's faces. The same condi
tion arises whenever two members of
the railroad lobby at Lincoln mention
to one another the' subject of dlstrthu
Uon or rauroaa terminal values as a
reminder of Its handy use' as a pretense
to fool the people
The people of Denver aro preparing to
act under the new constitutional amend
inent, which permits them to frame
their owu charter aud to enjoy the full
measure of municipal home rule. The
Denver tharter ought to be up to
date, and at any rate will conform to
the wishes of the jntqikt ftiiu are to be
governed uuder It. lieuver and Kansas
City lead Omaha lu the matter of local
aelf-governuient and Omaha, must soon
fuUow to keep up with tho procession.
A FOIST OVERLOOKED.
Before the revenue bill Is agreed to
In a form that provides for the assess
ment of property at 20 per cent of the
full cash value our legislators should con
sider the serious consequences that will
Tollow such a departure. When the bill
was iu Joint committee the first point
said to have la-en decided upon was that
assessments in the future should be on
the 1'H) per cent basis. Every argument
presented was iu favor of full value
assessments and not a single substantial-reason
was advanced to support as
sessments upon a fractional basis..
Experience throughout this state as
well as lu other states has Invariably
been that fractional assessments pro
mote Inequality and Injustice, which
cannot be covered up under the, full
value assessment plan. It was to rem
edy abuses that had grown up under tho
old form of assessment that the, sep
arate tax commissioner scheme was
adopted for Omaha, South Omaha and
Lincoln, and In each a wonderful reform
has lK-en worked by the inauguration of
full value assessments. By raising the
total valuation of taxable property to
something like its real worth the tax
rate has bpen steadily reduced until H
has In each of these cities reached nor
mal proportions.
The lawmakers at Lincoln evidently
do not realize what the legalizing of the
fractional assessment plnn means. For
Omaha it means that whereas this year
property has been assessed at 100 per
cent for city taxation next year It will
be assessed at only 20 per cent. It
means that where the grand total of as
sessed valuation for 10(1.1 Is more than
$100,000,000 next rear it will appear to
be only about $:0,000,000. It means
that while the city tax levy In Omaha
this year Is less than 0 mills next year
It will be upwards of TiO mills.
The position In which Omaha will be
placed by such an advertisement can
lo readily appreciated. It will be her
alded everywhere that Omaha's taxable
wealth has shrunk to one-fifth of what
It was before and that the tax fate has
been multiplied fire or six times. Tho
damage done to Omaha by Its Inflated
census 181)0, followed by the drop In
the figures for 1!X0, will be Incompar
able? to the damage wrought with In
vestors and possible Incomers by such a
showing of decreased property values
and skyrocket taxes.
What Is true In this respect of Omaha
will be true also f South Omaha' and
of Lincoln, each of which will suffer
Irreparable Injury by the proposed
change In the basis of assessment.- On
the other hand. If the legislature re
traces Its steps and goes back to the full
value basis It will bring the assessment
roll of the state as well as of Its cities
up to within an approximation of Its
actual worth and the advertisement
thus given to the world will be worth to
our people hundreds of thousands of
dollars In new Investments and tens of
thousands of Increased population. It
to be hoped the legislature will recog
nize Its mistake and make this correc
tion before it 4 too lat.
j . - fttSTERN AdRlL'VLTVRK.
' The past few years of western agri
culture have been of a very satisfactory
nature and the promise for the coming
year is to the highest degree satisfac
tory. Looking to the past the agricul
tural producers of the west have the
amplest reasons for thankfulness. The
years have been filled with the most
abundant harvests aud the best prices
have prevailed for all the crops. There
has never been n time in the history
of the country when the average of
farm products commanded better prices
than during the last three or four years,
or when they have had a better market
or better' prices than they are receiving
today. This Is one of the considerations
that needs to be thought of In estl
mating the general value of the home
market. The common notion Is to re
gard the value of our home products
according to the exports, but this is a
mistake. The real value of these pro
ducts is to be determined by the do
mestic commerce in them, which is
many times more than the foreign
trade.
The great bulk of the agricultural
trade of the west Is not In foreign lands,
but iu our own country. While the pro
ducers of the west send many millions
of their products abroad, they sell of
those products at home hundreds of
millions more than are shipped out of
the country and at better prices than
they receive for foreign shipments. It
Is thus a matter of the utmost import
ance to our producers that they should
preserve the home market for them
selves. Western agriculture Is today the sub
stantial fact In the national prosperity.
Without it nothing else can be of en
durance. It Is the maiustay of national
prosperity. Fortunately the outlook for
it is most satisfactory.
WHAT IS THE DEMOCRATIC WEAl
The American people seem to be pretty
well satisfied with what is the repub
lican idea of public iHjllcies. They ap
proved those policies in the last two
national campaigns by overwhelming
majorities aud there has been nothing
since to cause them to regret thut action.
On the contrary the increasing pros
perity of the country and the steadily
growing development industrially aud
commercially have convinced the great
majority of the Intelligent iioople of this
country that they were exactly right lu
putting the republican party in control
of the government In 1SIHJ. It is per
fectly safe to say that nobody has suf
fered In his material interests because
the republican party has been In control
of the government during the last six
years. )u the contrary it Is an Indis
putable fact thut tht prevalence of re
publican policies has given tho country
the greatest progress and power that It
has ever known in all its history.
Yet lu the face of this, absolutely ap
parent to all men of Intelligence, what
do we hear as the democratic Idea of
what should be done? There was a
banquet In Chicago Monday night at
which prominent democrats expressed
their opinion as to what should be done.
There was not absolute agreement te
tween them. On the contrary some of
the icakcrs were wide apart as to
some of the most Important Issues that
are now eugaglng public attention. One
of the spetikers on that occasion, a man
who occupies a prominent position In
democratic councils, declared that "the
democratic party will never attack the
freedom of those who have lawfully
made fortunes to make them larger."
Another speaker took the position that
It Is the duty of the democratic party
to take a course which would mean the
destruction of every corporation that Is
In the nature of a trust, regardless of
the consequence upon the general In
dustry of the country.
We get In these carefully formulated
Ideas of democrats from different sec
tions a view of the party Ideas. The
eastern democrat recognizes the expedi
ency of not committing the party to
an unqualified revision of the tariff,
while the western democrat Is ready to
slaughter the principle of protection.
That the latter represents the very gen
eral democratic Idea there can be no
doubt, but It Is an Idea that cannot
succeed. The American people have
had experience with It and they do not
want a repetition of It. Still It Is the
prominent If not the only democratic
Idea of today and promises to be the
leading Issue of that party In the next
national campaign.
THE AMERICA'S CT'P.
The launching of another sloop If
that be the proper title to contest for
the America's cup, which has just taken
place In Scotland, Is a niattcuof interest
that Is not confined to sporting circles.
The fact that the famous cup has been
held by this country for more than half
a century has given the contests for It a
very great Interest and the promise Is
that this interest will be quite as acute
next year as at any time In the past.
The British determination to win back
the cup is as strong as ever and Ameri
cans heartily applaud this spirit. It
contributes to a sport which is abso
lutely without objection and which Is
really beneficial to the yachtsmanshlp
of the two countries. It Is said that the
new yacht which Sir Thouias Llpton
will bring over for the next contest will
be a wonder and there Is no doubt that
we shall be able to produce a yacht that
will also surpass all predecessors.
The railroads have been so successful
In pulling down their taxes In Omaha,
Lincoln and South Omaha by the sep
arate tax commissioner system, which
raises the assessments of all private
property while requiring the acceptance
of the mileage figures without change
fixed by the state board, that they are
willing to extend the system to the city
of Beatrice. This generosity on the part
of, John, N. Baldwin and hit associates
Is certainly striking. The legislature
might as well pass a law exempting the
railroads from city taxes altogether.
The German Reichstag has made an
appropriation for participation lu the
St Louis exposition, notwithstanding
the fact that the celebration of the
Louisiana purchase brings France to the
fore as the original owner of the terri
tory. But If the facts could be ascer
tained they would doubtless show that
the number of former subjects of Ger
many now settled In states carved out
of the Louisiana acquisition exceeds by
many fold the number who can trace a
French lineage.
Although It has Its hands full with the
fight for the equal taxation of railroads
and other property the Beal Estate ex
change cannot afford to overlook the
county assessment which will soon be
under way. What has already been
gained In the direction of more equitable
valuations for real and personal taxes
must be safeguarded against backsliders
and still further progress recorded.
American missionaries in China are
getting uneasy again for fear of Boxer
outbreaks against the foreigners. While
no one will justify or excuse ill usage
of Americans In China, we must admit
that our treatment of Chinamen In
America has not at all times been cal
culated to establish special friendliness
for us among the Chinese.
Salvador and Guatemala have settled
by arbitration differences which under
other circumstances would certainly
have served as a pretext for war. Un
less this arbitration virus can be wilted
out the natives of South and Central
America will be threatened with com
plete deprivation of their customary
recreation.
The Department of the Missouri will
le without a resident commander at iu
headquarters here In Omaha from April
1 to July 1. when the new general In
command Is expected to take charge
Since the outbreak of the Spanish-
American war tills department has been
sort of , a step-child in the military
family.
Fad of the Thoughtless.
Philadelphia Press.
Grover Cleveland ays he didn't know
any one thought of sliver these daya. Cer
tainly not; it's a matter for the thought
leis.
Exposes Overworked.
Washington Post.
The New York customs officials are so
ungallant as to report that the female in
spectors are failures. The woraea have
hard times in trying to set into the po
sitkns the politicians covet.
Popularity of the Iowa Idea.
Minneapolis Times.
The "lows Idea" Is not an unpopular
one In the west. It appeal! to the farmer
who must pay arbitrary trust prices for his
Implements, his building material, his wire
fencing for the many manufactured ar
ticles he uses while he himself receives
bo benefit from the tariff. The republican
leaders will hare to bravo lbs trusts and
their threats defy them ana Ustea to the
demands of the people. In this matter or
there will be serious losses in republican
states next year.
Coming- Home for a "Sqeare."
ChlcBgo News.
Consul-General Blttlnger. who aroused
the Ire of the people of Montreal, where he
was stationed, by declaring that he could
not get a "decent meal In all Canada,"
need suffer no longer. The government.
acting on the complaint of the Canadians,
has furnished him with unlimited oppor
tunities to take all bis future meals In the
United States.
Trleka In All Trades.
Buffalo Express.
Naturalist John Burroughs Is after Er
nest Thompson Seton with a charge of
trying to mislead the public on the sub
ject of the Intelligence of the lower ani
mal. For Instance, because Mr. Seton says
a fox lures the hounds upon a trestle Just
In time to be killed by a train. Mr. Bur
roughs observes caustically that no fox
ever bad a watch or a time table. Tut.
tut, John; the public has money enough to
buy books from both of you! Why try to
ruin a brother's business?
Molllfylna- Influence of the Pass.
Chicago Tribune.
It would be easy to get rid of the pass
system If the railroads did not believe they
were the gainers by the bestowal of free
transportation on members of legislatures.
Judges and other public officials. The rail
roads believe free passes have a soothing
and mollifying Influence. The Influence may
bennflt the railroads, but It certainly does
not benefit the general public. The ordinary
citizen who has to pay when he travels is
much in favor of the abolition of the free
pass system, but he seldom can persuade
the legislature of his state to enact a law
against it.
iermnn-a Trade with Venesuela.
New Tork Tribune.
Among the Interesting statistical facts
contained In a late volume of the Consular
Reports Is a tabular statement of the val
ue of Germany's trade with Venezuela. Tho
Imports Into Germany from Venezuela from
1897 to 1M1, Inclusive, amounted to $11.
685,800, about 2 per cent of Germany's total
Importation. These Imports seem to have
fallen oft since 1897. when the highest fig
ure was reached. On the other hand, tho
exports from Germany to Venezuela have
Increased, the highest figures having been
reached In lflftl, when they amounted to
$1,666,000. While the figures Indicate that
Germany Is Increasing its business with
Venezuela they show also that the trade
Is small, and an Inconspicuous figure In the
commercial records of Germany.
SO.OROl 9 CLAIMS OF REFORM.
Railroad Observation on the Pro.
Tlaiona of the Elklne Law.
rittsburg Dispatch.
It Is Interesting and somewhat amusing
to find It published in the railroad col
umns, as coming from railroad sources that
a new regime is to be inaugurated by the
going Into effect of the Elkins bill forbid
ding railroad rebates. It la beard that this
Is "one of the most far-reaching pieces of
legislation;" that It "will not affect the
business methods of the larger systems,"
but It will Injure the smaller roads "by
denying to them the privilege of grant
ing rebates to secure business."
The fact of the matter Is that the Elkins
Mil enacts nothing new whatever, except
as to methods of enforcement. The Inter
state Commerce commission has forbidden
rebates, drawbacks or any departure from
published rates for sixteen years. When it
went Into effect ' tWTe were the same
"copferences" of railroad officials concern
ing its observance, with the ultimate result
of concluding to disobey It. Whether the
Elkins bill In re-enacting thtt prohibition
win enjoy any more permanent obedience
remains to be seen.
As to the assertion that it will work do
change on the larger Systems, the only com
ment is that ir that Is so and the larger
systems obey the law they have been woe
fully misrepresenting., themselves. They
have time and time 'again, In urging the
legalization of pooling, declared that they
were not obeying the law, and Attorney
General Knox recently afforded cogent
corroboration of the self-accusation. Tho
allegation as to the smaller lines Is a
curious darkening of the subject. Tho
smaller, like the greater, lines are for
bidden by the new law as they have been
for sixteen years by the old one tc secure
business by granting secret rebates to their
favorites. But neither large nor small
lines are forbidden to attract business by
an open reduction of puollahed rates, equal
to all shippers, without favoritism.
VAST RAILROAD SYSTEMS.
Eight Groopi of Lines Embrace Over
Half the Country's Mileage.
Wall Street Journal.
The total mileage of the lines which will
be operated either directly under control of
the Rock Island company after the pur
chase of the St. Louis ft San Francisco if
the proposed deal goes through, or In very
close connection with the lines so operated
will aggregate abojt 16,000 miles of read.
The total mileage. Is mada up as follows:
Mile.
Rock Island (operated)... 7.1SS
Rock Island (under construction) 9H
li. & T. C, K. & W. T.. etc 4i0
Total 8,5l
Miles.
St. Tj. & San Francisco (last report)... 3.4M
Projected and under construction (est.) ft)
Arkansas & Choctaw '
Louisiana A Arkansas 2
Kastern Illinois 73s
St. L... M. & S. E ' 42)
Pcre Marquette (traffic alliance) 1,83
Total .' 7.2M
Grand total l,82i
It cannot be stated that the system as
outlined by these figures Is by any means
complete, nor docs, the outline take any
account of connections east and west to
the Atlantic and Pacific seaboard. Pera
Marnuette Is Included because, although
ostensibly It la held merely by traffic al
liance, the personnel of its directorate and
many other sins Indicate that the traffic
alliance Is very close to actual control.
This grand total does not maHe the Rock
Island system by any means the most ex
tensive system In the United States. For
the purpose of comparison the following
table of systems, comprising the great
railroad groups of the country. Is useful.
In compiling It the annual reports of the
companies w?re not closely followed. For
instance, It wottli be obviously unjust to
compare the mileage of Rock Island and
Pennsylvania without giving the latter
credit for Ita practical control of Baltimore
ft Ohio and Norfolk ft Western and ita
semi-control of Reading ft Chesapeake. For
this reason the total mileage of the two
former, and half the mileage of the two
Utter, are Included in the total mileage of
the Pennsylvania system, and halt the
mileage of the Reading ft Cbeeapeake Is
also Included In the Vanderbllt system.
Similar liberty Is taken with the Gould
roada, all lines controlled ty the Gould In
terests being grouped under the caption of
Gould system. Illinois Central Is some
what arbitrarily Included in the Harriman
system. The comparison follows:
Name of System. Mileage.
Harriman system (Union Pacific, etc.).L'1.3l
Northern Securities ...is 377
Pennsylvania lo.Hdl
Hock Island f ?
(I.iuld system 'riij?
Vanderbllt 1.572
Canad'an Pacific -32
Atlantic Coast Line system 8.S13
These eight systems embrace llO.OUO
mll. or more than half the total of the
country.
CONSERVATISM 15 TIIE WEST.
Effect of Prosperity In Danlshlng
Radicalism.
New York Evening Post.
Today the west not only has the ability
to care for Itself, In a great decree, but Is
reaching out for places in which to Invest
some of Its savings. Recently the state of
Nebraska, which forty years ago was an
open plain trampled by buffalo, and ten
years ago was affirming with vehemence the
vagaries of the Ocala platform, lnveste.1
$300,000 of ita permanent school fund In
bonds of the staid old commonwealth of
Massachusetts. It took them at 3 per
cent, a rate lower than could be afforded
by the eastern banks at the time. Tho
state bank commissioner of Knnsas esti
mates that 68 per cent of the $80.00.000 in
the banks of that state is owned by farm
ers, or those who depend on agriculture
directly for a livelihood. It Is little wonder
that the legislators chosen by a constitu
ency where new conditions and new ideas
prevail, are Inclined to caution.
This growth in conservatism In western
communities Is, after all. only a repetition
of the history of other sections nnd oth"r
lands. With possession conies responsibil
ity. Responsibility steadies a state as It
does an individual. It has broadened and
liberalized the west, not alone in Its gen
eral laws, but In Its more local applica
tions of the functions of government. The
new outlook has convinced the possessors
of the plains that the old ways are the sure
ways, and that human nature Is much the
same east and west when tt comes to the
care of one's own. East and west are to
day more closely linked In business Inter
ests than ever before. The probloms of
each appeal to tho other; the prosperity of
one Is reflected in the other's brightened
skies. While the good crops have had their
part In furnishing a basis for the west's
prosperity, the latter la likewise due In
some degree to the better management, tho
more conservative plans, the eaner views,
which have prevailed. There is promise
for the future In the fact that this attitude
has now become a fixed one in the west; for
It means a preparation for any period of
depression that may come, and a per
manency In development which makes
states reach the highest plane of influence
and power.
"WATER" A.U GOOD WILL.
Chicago Professor Thinks the Fluid is
Good Thing in Franchise Stock."
Chicago Journal.
One of the able Instructors at the Uni
versity of Chicago has created a stir by
defending the practice of "watering" se
curities on the ground that this practice
Is but "capitalizing good will."
But good .will and "water" seldom go
together. One Is opposed to the other.
Good will, undeniably an Important asset
In business, is the result of giving value
received to the public. This policy, whether
followed by dry goods store or traction
company, gives margin for no considerable
percentage of "water." There are excep
tions, of course, to all rules, but as a gen
eral proposition. It can be said that
"watered securities" are based not on good
will, but on some sort of a monopoly a
monopoly through franchises, patent rights,
or control of natural resources.
Take the local traction stocks, for In
stance. Can the "water" be explained on
the score of good will? Were Chlcagoans
ever accused of cherishing good will for
the traction companies? No; the "water"
stands for the franchise rights which gave
a monopoly to the existing companies.
Again, the watered cecurities of the Stand
ard Oil company, the corporation which
mada the University of Chicago what tt is
today, represent monopoly not good will.
Where there is monopoly seldom Is there
good will. The more a company "waters"
its securities the less popular, as a rule,
does that company become with the public,
because the added securities are made pos
sible only by a monopoly which enables
the corporation to exact more than legiti
mate profits. "Water" starts at the line
where honest earnings cease.
Go through the whole list of corpora
tions and you will find that those com
panies which are not Intrenched back of
monopolies have llttie or no "water" In
their stocks. The absence of monopoly
makes competition possible. Competition
makes dishonest profits Impossible.
"Water" Is possible only through exorbi
tant profits.
PERSONAL NOTES.
John Wesley Bon, who was a member
of Mark Twain's "Innocents Abroad" party,
has Just died at the age of 79, at Pine
Bluffs, Ark.
Charles M. Schwab Is returning to the
home shore and Is said to bo the picture of
health. This will entitle him to a place
In the patent medicine gallery.
General A. W. Greely, chief signal of
ficer of the United States army, has signed
a contract with a cable company of New
York for the construction of a submarine
cable to connect Seattle, Wash., with Sitka,
Alaska.
Alfred Belt, the richest man In the world,
is recovering from his recent serious and
supposedly fatal Illness and has gone to
Hamburg for recuperation. Most of his
vast wealth was accumulated In the dia
mond fields of South Africa.
Rev. Dr. Newell Dwight Hillls thinks
authors should be taken into a room and
shot, so great is the output of books. Dr.
Hillls has recently written a book or two
himself, but, of course. It would be rude to
suggest that the shooting should begin with
him.
James H. Hyde of New York, first vice
president 'of a life assurance society, is
credited with having broken all southern
railroad records the other day, when he
traveled on a special train between Jack
sonville and Savannah, 172 miles. In 153
minutes, with a stretch of seven miles In
four minutes. It cost him $1,000 to do It.
Police Commissioner Greene was ques
tioning a detective about a certain case.
"Tell me what there is in it." said he.
"Well," responded the sleuth, "I believe
that is. It Is my opinion my theory Is that
If the clues we are now looking for" "See
here," interrupted the commissioner, "how
long did you serve on the Buffalo police
force?" ,
Dr. Ames of Minneapolis also fastens
the blame upon the newspapers. Appar
ently there never was an honest man yet
who had aomehow acquired the reputatlou
of being a crook but he was the victim of
journalistic malignity. The only remedy.
It seems to us, la for the honest men,
alias crooks, to have a newspaper organ
of their own.
Herreshoff, the yacht builder, was walk
Ing near bis shops In Bristol, R. I., one
day last week when a camera fiend (one
of bis pet aversions) took a shot at him.
Herreshoff started after the offender and
soon caught blm. The man resorted to
diplomatic talk, but the yacht builder
would not listen. Wresting the oamrra
from the owner's grasp, he extracted the
offending plate and ground It to bits with
bis beel.
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nipples obi the Cnrreat of Life la the
Metropolis.
A definite move toward a municipal elec
tric light plant has been taken by the city
authorities. A statement by the commis
sioner of the lighting department urging
the establishment of such a plant has
received the approval of Mayor Low and
the Board of Estimate, and a bill will be
Introduced In the state legislature at an
early day authorizing the city to build and
operate a lighting plant. A club would
thus be held over the heads of the com
panies, and, unless they make It to the
city's Interest to deal with them, a city
Tlnnt will be built. That the city author
ities are In earnest Is further evidenced
that the preparation of plans and an esti
mate of the cost of a municipal lighting
plant have been ordered. The commis
sioner's report gives the comparative cost
of lighting paid by 175 cltlee, Including
those that operate their own plants. His
figures show that New York pays tfce
highest price In proportion to its popula
tion nnd that the charges here are wholly
out of proportion to the cost of produc
tion. A forceful argument for municipal
ownership Is supplied by the showing that
six cities that operate their own plants,
burning 2,000-candle power lamps, pay an
avrrago price of $r,6.45 per lamp per yeai,
while New York has paid $146 per lamp
for the same service.
When a young man named Edward
Barton was arraigned on a charge of in
toxication In the Gates avenue police court,
Brooklyn, reports the Times, a woman el
bowed her way up to the bench.
"Your honor," she said, "this man came
to my house on New Lots avenue last
night and, representing himself as a de
tective, got In to a fight with my hus
band." "What is your same, madam?" asked
Magistrate Furlong.
"Spellit." she replied.
"Why, how can I spell It If I don't
know what It Is?" said the magistrate,
astonished. "Can't you spell your own
name?"
"Of course, Judge," returned the woman
with a puzzled air. "It's S-p-e-l-l-l-t."
"Oh, I see; that's your name. Spellit."
aaid the magistrate. Then turning to the
prisoner: "What have you to say to this?"
"It is not true that I went to the house
of this Mrs. Writeit," declared Barton.
"Spellit," corrected the magistrate.
Tho court was beginning to get Into a
bad tangle over the name when the magis
trate cut things short by directing that a
charge of impersonating a policeman be
made against Barton, and he Was held.
To the music of a brass band Mayor Low
drove the first spike for the first rail In
tho tracks of the subway last Saturday
afternoon. There was much speechmaklng
and congratulation that this great Im
provement for which New York has watted
so long Is now within touching distance of
accomplishment.
As soon as the mayor laid aside the
brand-new cteel hammer with which be
drove the spike Into Its bed a hundred
tracklayers began laying rails along the
already prepared cedar ties, and the bril
liantly lighted tunnel rang with the rapid
blows.
The ceremony took place at the Fifty
ninth street circle station, near the site
of the Virginia hotel. There were present.
In addition to the mayor, President Forbes
of the Board of Aldermen, Comptroller
Grout, the borough presidents, a large
number of aldermen; John B. McDonald,
the subway contractor; August Belmont,
president of the subway company, and
many Invited guests.
. As the Invitation was not sent out until
late, the public was hardly aware that
tha formal beginning of the tracklaylng
was about to take place. Had It been
generally known, there would have been
such a demand for Invitations that It would
have been Impossible to grant half the de
mands, owing to the limited space In the
station.
The officials of the subway company are
now certain that the trains will be running
by next fall.
The car was bound uptown, relates the
Evening Post. In the Sixties, two hand
somely gowned women, evident 1 bent upon
an afternoon of "five o'clocklng," took
seats. At once the' pair engaged In an
absorbing and not too gently modulated
conversation. In which the relative merits
of "ettamine" and "voile" were discussed
with all the precision of experts. Sud
denly one of the women looked out of the
window upon the Central Park landscape,
and gave a little squeak.
"We're almost there, and 3 look a per
fect fright, I know," she exclaimed.
"You do look warm," returned her com
panion frankly. "You'd better." She held
out a little silver box, which had been
dangling with other silver things, at her
chatelaine. The lid of the box was open.
It disclosed a tiny puff and powder.
"I guess I will," said the woman of the
first part, and without more ado, and ut
terly oblivious of the concentrated gaze
of the other passengers, she daintily tapped
her nose, chin and cheeks with the puff.
Then, drawing down her veil again, she
handed the puff back to its owner, who
closed the lid of the little box with a snap,
and let It dangle at her belt. The con
versation had gone on untroubled by tho
facial operation.
"Lord, no, I'm used to It," said the con
ductor. "I used to think It was funny
when I first saw them do tt. A woman is
liable to put a dab of powder on anywhere.
Only not all of them carry such nice little
boxes. One woman passenger we have gets
on regular at Seventy-second street and
carries loose powder In her satchel. She
dips in her handkerchief and brings out
a cloud like an upset flour barrel. And
the strange part of It Is. they never seem
to mind how many people watch 'era do It.
Once the old party I was speaking about
produces her powder shower right next to
a fussy old chap, who Is pretty well mado
up for a man himself, toupee and dyed
beard, and all that. He stood It for a few
minutes, dusting his coat as the powder
fell. Finally he turned to her and said:
" 'Madame, don't you know that you're
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violating a rule of the War department?'
"The old lady stops flirting her hand
kerchief, and eyes blm. 'What have I got
to do with the War department?' she says.
" 'They use smokeless powder nowadays,'
he says, and then gives me the wink to
stop the car In a hurry. And It's a bless
ing be did. too."
POINTED REFLECTIONS.
When the doctors want to Impress the
laity they go to work and think up a new
name for an old dlseaae. Somcrvllle
Journal.
"Shall I brain him?" cried a hazer, and
the victim's courage fell.
"You can't; it is a freshman. Just hit
him on the head." Puck.
"The first thing to be done," said the
committeeman In an Important lone, "Is to
organize. Therefore"
"1 beg your pardon," said an older mem
ber. "We have not been photographed
yet." Judge.
"I'm told," said the prison visitor, "that
before you got here you were one of the
leading men In your profession."
"Well," replied the convict, "I certainly
was in the van Just before 1 arrived here.
Chicago Tribune.
Laura You have met the two Johnsons.
What do you think of them?
Maude Well, the one Is terribly simple
and the other Is simply terrible. Brooklyn
Ufe.
"What qualifications havo you as a
Street railway conductor?"
"I worked three years In a sardine pack
ing establishment." Fllegende lilatter.
"Some people, I believe, still maintain
that oil and water won't mix."
"Well, that's true."
"Nonsense! Rockefeller Is a member of
the Baptist church." Philadelphia Press.
Romeo But hpw did you Induce your
father to give his consent? You know, you
told me he was deadly opposed to actore.
Juliet I know, but when I told him It
was you he said perhaps It might not be so
' bad; that you weren't much of an actor,
anyway. lioston Transcript.
"You set too high a value on money,"
said the friend.
"Maybe I do," answered Senator Sorg
hum, "but so far as I have been able to
learn, money Is regarded as the most valu
able thing yet discovered." Washington
Star.
INFORMATION WANTED.
Chicago Newrs.
A fond desire for knowledge Is within my
bosom burning.
I positively ache and yearn for any sort of
learning. ,.
In youthful days I did not, and, as might
have been expected,
My early education was moat shamefully
neglected.
But now the case Is altered. I am ever
realizing
The fact that what I do not know Is mora
or less surprising.
That fact I've just discovered, to my great
est consternation,
And that explains my present warm desire
for Information.
I make no false pretensions, for my Igno
rance la shocking.
The very simplest subjects are my feeble
powers mocking.
I'm short on metaphysics and on specula
tive logic,
I do not snow a thing about the science
pedagogic.
I'm destitute of Hebrew and of Sanskrit
and of Persian,
And cannot tell the merits of the old or
newer version.
In chemistry I'm weak. I don't know
much about vibration,
I am absolutely lacking when It comes to
information.
I used to think I knew a thing or two, but
I'm confessing
A little brief experience has lately got me
guessing.
The only thing I know Is 'that my strong
folnlst are not mental,
vp abandoned all Ideas of Ideals trans
cendental. I've lost my old-time confidence and now
am meek and humble.
But when I think It over I have little
cause to grumble.
My wife taught school till married, but her
ireaent occupation
mparting to her husband all her stock
of Information.
the Kitchen nwgicfan
Don't Walt
Until the eyes give out and yoa are
compelled to stop work. If your
eyes feel strained, get the proper
glasses at once.
Bring your eye troubles to us.
J. C. HUTESON & CO.,
11 J 8. 16th St., Paxton Block.
FITS LIKE OUItb.
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