(Copyright. 1003, by Amy R. Haskell.)
A nH T . , r TVt t ll'.alslnnllin'l
I I official life, society for the first
year i iuuu-",
mate In which she t perpetually
face to face with the least de
sirable reflections In the mirrors. During
the second year she succeeds In straight
enlng out to her own satisfaction and. In
cidentally, that of her guests and acquaint
ances, the question of precedence. And
just about the time that her husband's
term expires and they drift back to their
native city, she discovers that all this
while she might hare been one of a delight,
ful and Independent clique, if only she had
known the ropes.
Social life at the national capital divides
itself along two distinct lines officially and
temperamentally. The official divisions are
determined by certain unwritten laws
handed down from administration to ad
ministration. These must be observed at
all functions of an official nature, but,
having done her duty In thla respect, a
woman Is free to make such friends as
she elects. Dut woe unto the woman who
does not observe first these official dis
tinctions, or who, through motives of per
sonal friendship, givjs precedence to a
civilian when representative? of official life
are also her guests. Fnm the president
himself to the department clerk, all aro
slaves to these social laws.
The woman who is experienced In Wash
ington life, whose husband has served more
than one terra, knowa her social code so
thoroughly that sho dispatches all official
duties by routine and has ample time to
enjoy such relnxatlon as appeals to her
sisters in private life.
Custom and the Inordinate clamor for
rank and the right of precedence have sep
arate the "smart set" of official life into
various small nets, or cliques, which on
ter'tain among themselves and keep Jealously
aloof from nil other cliques sa.c on such
occasions as the prescribed state or offi
cial "affairs" make appearance and osten
sible cordiality alnicst obligatory.
What might be termed the "White
House" set consists of the chief executive
and his family, the members of his cabinet
and their wives and daughters, and the
chief Justices and families. In sdditlon to
meeting at purely official functions, there
is likely to bo a more friendly feeling
among them, evidenced by Informal dinners
and even simpler forms of entertaining.
The diplomatic corps forms another small
clique, marked by . the most pronounced
forms and ceremonials in the capital. The
representatives of the monarchies In par
ticular know their etiquette as the Moham
medan his Koran, and In their limited
circle are wheela within wheels, the watch
ing of which gives the humble outsider
social vertigo.
In the matter of formal entertaining, par-
I i a recent Dunquei m new turn
J3k I ex-Congressman McAdoo of New
Sm 1 y ,..., tri. Mn.nl
I m i . i T V.BI.
jersey preaiueu. nn u-uiub
SM-j words pertained to the coal situ
ation, and he aroused great
laughter when he told of his returning from
Europe. lest year. When he arrived he was
holding a handkerchief over his eye. A
Hibernian customs officer asked: "Why
are you holding your eye under cover?"
"There's a bit of coal in my eye," re
sponded McAdoo. "Ah, bringing in coal,
are you. sir? You'll have to pay a duty
on that."
At the samo banquet Hon. Henry Burke
of Philadelphia said: "One of the wittiest
retorts I ever heard was of an Irish lady
la Philadelphia. Her husband bad heard
a riddle, 'Why are you like a donkey?'
and the answer, 'Because your .better half
is stubbornness Itself.' It gave him an
opportunity to get a glorious dig at his
wife, so when he got home he asked,
'Ellen, can you tell me why I am like a
donkey?' and she answered, 'I suppose it
was because you were born so." "
Marshall P. Wllderwas" recently engaged
by Mr. Vanderbllt, whose charity is dis
played in many ways of which the general
public wots but little, to entertain the In
mates of one of the Keeley Institutes. After
the entertainment, relates the New York
Times, the humorist was taken on a tour of
Inspection about the place. Some of the
patients were still highly delirious, and
shouted In their mad ravings In a manner
to make even the humorist shudder. One
of them suddenly roared front his ' room
that it was full of snakes, and was wild
In his fear of the Imaginary reptiles. Sud
denly he changed his tone and declared
that there was a woman In his room, and
then relapsed into silence.
"She must have been a snake-charmer,"
murmured Wilder, as they moved on to the
next ward.
"Yea, I aro from Minneapolis," said E.
P. Buss, general western representative of
the Berlin machine works, quoted by ths
Washington Post, "and I suppose that It la
up to me to tell some story Indicative ef
the hostile feeling . exist trig" between -my'
burg and St. Paul, our Beat little rival
cross the river. The latest ofle 1 know
Is of the Minneapolis Norwegian who was
feeing prevailed upon by an importunate
Cliques in Washington Social
4
..V- i
MRS. R0O8EVELT. IN "S'ACT 1V3
WELL. AS NAME, WASHINGTON'S
SOCIAL, LEADER.
tlcularly in giving dinners, the hostess is
frequently confronted by the question of
precedence In Its most formidable form. It
takes infinite tact to seat those whose
knowledge of their social righta seems for
the tkno being their most absorbing prob
lem. While rights of procedure go to for
eign ambassadors and ministers, should a
chief Justice and his aides be present they
hold equal social rank. Thi senatorial
contingent clain-a the same position; hence
the only safe path for the hostess to fallow
Is to avoid entertaining o.ficfals of equal
rank at the same dinner.
Men uay be too busy to make a social
mountain out cf a mole hill, but with
women It is a burning question. It Is still
debated whether the wivi 4 cf cabinet min
isters ehould call on the wives of the mem
bers of the supreme court or vice versa,
and at all dinners daughters of justices and
senators expect to precede daughters of
private cltlsena. Many heart burnings and
the severing of friendships have followed
infringement of this rule. It may be Inter
eating also to learn (hat strangers call
upon the ladles of the official world first.
Probably the most enjoyable of the sets
now in existence is Mrs. Roosevelt's pri
vate musical ccterle. in which are found
many of her friends, irrespective of rank or
condition an innovation which may surely
be granted the "first lady of the land." for
she may net show partiality or special
friendliness to any one when fulfilling her
official duties. As tho wife of the presi-
J
Gleanings From the
book agent to buy a bible. The flaxen
haired man from the cold peninsula was all
but persuaded when be happened to glance
within the volume and ran across the
name. St. Paul; he threw the book down In
disgust, saying, 'Aye tank you can't fool
me Into buying a book that has anything
to say about St. Paul.'
"At least, that Is not so old as the talc
of the Minneapolis minister who was fired
by his congregation because he took his
text from St. Paul," said Mr. Buss.
"It always pays to be conservative," aald
Internal Revenue Commissioner Yerkes,
quoted by the New York World. "Now, I
recall the case of the man from Dyers
ville. Dyer county, Tenn.
" 'I can lick any man In Dyersville,' he
announced one day on the main street of
that Tillage.
"There was no response. 'I can lick any
man In Dyer county,' he then proclaimed.
"Still there waa no reply to the chal
lenge. Emboldened by the success of bis
. bluff, the man shouted, 'I can lick any man
' In Tennessee!'
"At that a long, lank mountaineer peeled
off his coat and wiped up the street with
the boaster.
".'Gentlemen,.' said the braggart, as he
brushed off his clothes, 'the trouble with
me Is that I scatter teo d urn much.' "
A woman with her little son, a child of
4 years of age, Inquired of a man standing
In one of our railway stations: "Can you
tell me what time the next train leaves for
Scranton?" -
"At t-t-wenty m-m-nlutes' p-p-past
f-f-four." About ' Ave minutes later she
' again put the same question to the same
man; and he repeated the same answer In
the same stuttering way. When she ap
proached him for the third time with the
same query he. said to her: "W-why do
y-y-you a-s-ask'me s-s-so m-m-many t-t-
' times? ' : I-I a-a-al-ready t-t-told you
t-t-twlce."
'. "I know you did," replied the woman,
'"but my little bey likes to see you work
: your mouth.". .! .
y. , - - ' '.
-" The : Michigan 'delegation to congress "Is
telling stories about the late Governor
Pingree.i '.f
' "One night," aald Representative Cor
Ilss, "just before Pingree left the governor
ship, be thought he would like to put out
'
MRS. CORBIN. WIFB OP GENERAL
CORBIN. LEADER OF THE MIL
ITARY CLIQl'E.
dent she novor Infringes upon the unwrit
ten laws of precedence, but as Mrs. Roose
velt she opens her parlors occasionally to
those who appeal to her personally. These "
affairs are of the simplest sort, and Mrs.
Roosevelt is usually assisted by Miss Hag
ner and Mlr.g Alice Roosevelt.
Second cimes the clique composed of
private citizens, who make up a small pro
portion of Washington's "smart set." These
people are of large means, entertain lav
ishly and, having no axes to grind, choose
their friends from any of the antagonistic
official circle.
The most exclusive set and the smallest
In point of numbers Is composed cf the old
Washingtonlans, who regard with aversion
the official element. Their social functions
consist of quiet teas and dinners, given
without ostentation or display.
The nearest approach to aristocracy In
Washington may be found imons the army
and navy people. Generation after genera
tion, drawing prestige from deeds of valor
in many wars, have gone to Annapolis or
West Tolnt. No more polished men are to
be found in America, and they hold their
own In matters of etiquette and cere
monials with the foreign representatives.
Social opportunities abroad and tho Inde
finable polish which Is gained only through
travel are theirs. The .men marry women
of wealth and family, and while among
themselves they adopt a less stringent coda,
at official functions they are sticklers for
the prestige and precedence due their rank.
Story Tellers'
a farewell message to his enemies. He
wrote about 20,000 wcrds. He was on the outs
with about all the newspapers In the state
and he didn't know how to get the message
printed. He finally made up his mind he
would pay for It as sdverttsing and he
called up one of the owners of a Detroit
paper by long-diatance telephone from
Lansing. Pingree told the publisher what
he wanted and after a lot of figuring the
Detroit man allowed he .could print tho
stuff for $1,233.26.
" 'What!' roared Pingree over the tele
phone. 'Now, you git out, young man. I'm
willing to retire one member of your firm
for this Job, hut I ain't going to put them
all on Easy street at the same time.' "
The teacher had been explaining to the
class in etymology the meaning of the word
"gamy" as an ending In compounds and had
taken as illustrations the three words
"polygamy," "bigamy" and "monogamy."
' "Polygamy, ch'Hren," she explained, "is the
condition of having several wives; bigamy,
the condition of having two wives, and
monogamy, that of hsving only one wife."
After discussing various other roots and
' words, relates the Philadelphia Ledger, she
reverted to those she had first explained
and put questions to test the knowledge of
' her. pupils. . "Now,, children," she said,
"when a man haa many wives, or a woman
has many husbands, what do we call It?"
"Polygamy," was the response.
"And what Is It when there are two wives
or two husbands?"
"Bigamy."
"Very good. But it the right state of
affairs exists, and. a man has only one wife
and a woman only one husband what Is It
then?"
"Monotony.". ...
Judge Adams, the county court Judge of
Limerick, In presiding at a lecture on Irish
-humor at the Irish Social club, in London,
spoke of the humors of Irish matchmaking.
According to the well known proverb, mar
riages were made In heaven, but anybody
who knew rural Ireland knew that very
oftea marriages were - made in public
houses. ': They were generally mads on
Shrove' Monday; and the talk between the
parties concerned was not. of Jove, or con
stancy, or of blue eyes and golden hair, but
mostly about rows and aheep. pigs and
feather beds. It often happened that a
Life
Id both the senatorial and rongresslonal
cliques there Is much friendliness. This Is
due probably to the fact that so many of
the various members, with their families,
cams from the aame portions of the country
and were friends or acquaintances prior to
the exodus to Washington official life.
Again there la, especially among the new
comers, a bond of sympathy between tho
women In their struggle for recognition, all
meeting the same formidable unknown eti
quette of official rules in Washington.
It must not be forgotten, too, that there
Is a vast army of lesser government em
ployes who flock to tho official receptions
and balls, and who fancy that they are
enjoying tho highest of social life. This
Bet probably contains the oddest and most
amusing of the types. The callow youth
who has recently acquired an appointment
and who attends his first "reception," la
not quite certain whether he should wear
a dress suit and high hat at 4 o'clock p. .
in., or retain his business suit with his
favorite red lit. He usually appears In a
tnotely assortment of clothes, having tried
to effect a compromise, shakes hands awk
wardly with his hostess, stands about for
a bit and wishes he had not oome. But he'
usually goes again and after a while learns
something of the conventionalities. This,
type Is omnipresent. The women as a rulo
are more adaptable and make tower blun
ders. Then there Is, too, the eternal visiting,
floating population acting Washington, who
find It nice to return to their rural homes
and tell their friends that they attended
this or that reception. In many cases
they mako th samo laughable mistake of
not going as casual onlookers In street
attire.
Among other -Interesting sets Is one that
consists of a small srmy of young women
who represent the four sections of tho
country woll-bred girls, daughters pf
men of wealth, who spend winter after
winter In Washington at samo "finishing
school." They ostensibly take a courau In
this or that thing, but their real motive la
to enjoy the social functions to which they
can obtain entre.
One of the best known and perhaps the
most successful and popular of these
"schools" has as its head a southern
woman of Infinite tact and good breeding.
She has personally, by birth and breeding
an entre to many of the most exclu
sive affairs. Irrespective of the social
cr official status of the entertainer, and
"her girls" thus often obtain a soc'.al
footing and invitations where even the
most esger of some other set finds It Im
politic to break down the barriers. These
young women hear all the best music, go
to all the best shows, are carefully chap
eroned on all occasions and are perhaps
the happiest of all who participate In tho
queer social life of Washington. ,
Pack
bride and bridegroom met for the first time
at the altar. A young girl one rushed Into.
the house of a girl friend of hers and said:..
"Mary, Mary, I'm to be married In the.
morning!" "Yerrah, to whom?" Inquired
her friend. "To one of the boys of the
Donovans." "To whieh of them?" asked her
friend. "Well," said the bride, "'twaa.
rather dark near the fireplace and I didn't,
rightly know which." The judge mentioned
another case where a woman called out to
her daughter an hour earlier than usual of
a morning: "Mollle, get up at once!"
"Yerrah. for what, mother?" "You're to be
married today, Mollle." "Indeed, and to
whom?" Inquired Mollle. "Now, what's
that to you?" replied the mother.
In one of the large manufacturing es-
tahllshments in Philadelphia sn Irishman
was employed to watch one of the en-'
trances. '
One day the superintendent saw the Irish
man was neglecting his duty, and told htm
to go to the office and get his money, as
his services were no longer needed.
The superintendent went away on bust-'
ness that day, and was gone about a week
or' ten days.
On his return he happened to be passing
this same place, and was surprised to find
the Irishman he had discharged still act
ing as watchman.
He said: "I thought I discharged you a
couple of weeks ago."
"Sure," ssys the Irishman.
"Well, why didn't you get out when you
were told?''
"Oh! I know when I got a good boss, it
you don't know when you have a good
man." Needless to say, he Is still there.
One of Dr. Lorenx's compatriots chuckles
every time he tells this anecdote, which Is
told as nn actual occurrei.co in the great
surgeon's career.
"The doctor was always very charitable,'
and treated a grsat many people gratui
tously. Among them was a poor little g'rl
in whose case he was deeply iutersat!.
One morning Dr. Lorens happened to tuoet'
her mother, and was surprised to hear that
his patient had died a few daya before.
"Why dlm't you send for me when the'
change came?' he asked.
"We were going to do so, sir, but we
thought it better to let the dear child die '
a natural death," was the tearful answer