Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, December 06, 1902, Page 6, Image 6

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

DJl"ia.niKl H, IMPS.
i TTTT ., - . ,
Tiie omaha Daily Bee
Dallv He. (Klthnut Rnndnv). Ons Year.. 14 )
ljallv lip nnl HnrtrlHV. (na Year 6M
Illustrated bee, Una lfir 2"U
Sunday Uee. One Year '
Saturday Den. Uni Year 1
Twentieth Century Farmer. One Year.,
n.llv (without Runtlav). oer cony.... 1c
Daily le-e (without Sunday), per wpik....l!c
Daily Bee (Including feuniid), per week..liO
Bunday Km, per copy Jc
Evening Uee (without Sunday!, per week So
ivening tie (Including Bunday), per
week ...........IOC
Complaints of Irregularities In delivery
should ba addressed to City Circulation De
Omaha The Bee tulldlng.
South Omaha-city Hall 13uljdlng, Twen
ty-nfth and M Streets.
Council HI u IT s 10 Pearl Street.
Chicago live) Unity Huilding.
New York I'ark Row Building.
Washington Fourteenth Street.
Communications relating to news and edi
torial matter should be addressed: Omaha
Ilea, Editorial Department.
Business letters and remittances should
be addreseed: The ilea I'uousning y.m
pany, Omaha.
Remit by draft, express or postal order,
..i.i.. i Tha I'lii.iUhlnii Company.
only 2-cent stamps accepted In payment of
mall accounts, personal checks, except on
Omaha or eastern exchange, not acceyicu.
Di.i. Vul.raeWa llnnirln fVmntV. SS. J
Menrce H. TzHchuck. secretary of Th.
. pir,liahlnv ( Vim nan v. belnK duly sworn.
says that the actual number of full and
complete copies of The Daily, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
month of November. I)l. -was as follows:
1 S1.4TO r 18.,
I 2,40O 17..
t ... 81,000 U.,
31,3ftO 13..
t 41,o5 20.,
34,850 21.
7 81,210 22.
1 30.S4O 23.
39,BTS 24.
10 81,300 25.
II .......... S0.9TO 28.,
12 80,700 27.
It,820 28.
14 ......B0,T80 29.
14 ........81,310 W.
..... 38,3 to
Total ' oaa.ttio
Lesa unsold and returnes copies.... ,l37
Net total sales aa,T8
Net average sales 80,70o
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before m. this win Yk"HUNQA
(Seal) Notary Public.
The Jokes at the Mark Twain banquet
were evidently too much for Tom Keed,
No matter how late the first cold snap
cornea, It la alwaya too early for 1m
provident people.
In the list of measure! that are no
likely to get through congress at thla
session, that anbaldy bill can be placed
near the top.
Congressman Llttlefield baa not an'
nounced bla withdrawal from the apeak
ership contest, but ,lt la not necessary
that he should.
(governor Oummlna heartily approves
the president's message ,on the tariff
question, although he notca that It does
not go aa far as "some of us hare gone."
A. point for druggists and liquor deal
ers: No applicant for a liquor license
who has advertised hla notice in The
Bee baa ever been refused a license on
account of defective publication.
Governor Mickey has given It out that
he will not remove present appointees
in state institutions unless there Is some
good reason for a change. Governor
Mickey haa the right Idea In this.
We thought the World-Herald would
finally come to the point of admitting
that Its chief objection to President
Roosevelt's message comes from the fact
that the message had elicited favorable
comment from The Bee.
. Postmaster Hammond of Fremont
cannot refrain from throwing himself a
few bouquet In his letter of resignation.
The fact that this is the season when
cut flowers come high seems to be no
deter to this piece of extravagance on,
his part
And now It Is proposed to cut off the
graft of the clerk of the district court
as member of the insanity board. The
law fixes the salary for this official at
$3,000 a year, which ought to be ample
to command the most competent service
without side lines tnd perquisites.
Many boles have been found In the
South Omaha city charter that want
patching by the coming legislature. If
our memory serves us correctly, when
the South Omaha charter was originally
enacted those who claimed paternity
for it' insisted that It was perfection
On no other point are regular army
officers so unanimously agreed as that
the .abolition of the canteen has been in
Jurtous to the military service and to the
morals of the men. So unanimous and
emphatic is their Judgment that it will
surely modify public opinion to a. con
siderable extent
Nebraska county commissioners will
endeavor to have the legal requirements
for full value assessment enforced on
all property in the state subject to the
Jurisdiction of local assessors. When
ever the grand assessment roll is put on
a full value basis make sure that the
people will not stand for the railroads
being taxed on a mere fraction of their
market worth.
The old line insurance men would like
to name the new deputy Insurance audi
tor for Auditor Weston. We presume
the Fraternals' would be willing to
make a few suggestions, too. The la
urauce auditor, however, is really ex
pected to look after the interests of the
policy holders rather than the policy
writers, and. while be should have ex
ptrlence In Insurance matters, he should
e a man known to have the stamina. to
itand up against the Insurance com
panles whenever necessary.
The only ground alleged on Ixunlf of
tlie transportation companies In Justlfl-
cntton of a general advance of rates Is
what a prominent rnllroud president de-
i-rilMs bs "the Inm-nsod cost of living
for railways." No doubt wages and
the price of material have advanced,
but the officially verified fncts regarding
rallrond earnings do not give warrant
for a general advance of charges. The
following figures taken from the reports
to the Interstate Commerce commission
chow the gross and net earnings and
net Income of 1le railroads of the
United States for five years preceding
and including 1901:
Gross Net Net
Earnings. Earnings. Income.
1H97. . . .J 1,122,0&9.773 $369,665,000 S 81,257,606
1S!8.... 1,247,325,621 429,352,345 140,319,421
1S39.... 1,813.610.118 456,641,119 164,154.813
1900.... 1.48T,04,814 525,616,303 227,260,447
1901.... 1.588.526.037 658,128,767 241,611,318
Thus the net income over and above
fixed charges and taxes lias Increased
within five years almost exactly 300 per
cent. It is nowhere claimed that the
average advance of wages to railroad
employes during the same time has ex
ceeded 15 per cent, Including .the ad
vances that have recently been made.
But whatever the increase may have
been, and whatever the advance of
prices In all the elements comprising
"cost .of living for railways," they have
not prevented the corporations from ac
tually trebling their net Income cer
tainly a rate of profit to magnificent that
It ought to satisfy every legitimate
This statement, however, does not
comprehend the entire profits on trans
portation, for in a very important sense
the amount of earnings Invested in per
manent Improvements may be consid
ered aa profits since their effect Is to
Increase profits for a long future period.
The amount of earnings devoted to
maintenance of way grew from $115,
000,000 In 1805. to f220,0O0,0O0 in 1901,
and for maintenance of equipment from
$108,000,000 in 1895 to $184,000,000 In
1901. Notwithstanding these and many
other appropriations, the companies
were able to declare devldends In 1901
$29,834,090 greater tlian in the preceding
The enormous profits demonstrated by
the reports of the roads come from gen
eral prosperity, from the Increased .ton
nage which active Industry has pro
duced, and there should be a fair appor
tionment of the benefits. Certainly the
employes of the roads should have their
share In Increased wages, which upon
the whole they have not yet secured.
But they are not more entitled to such
advance than the general public Is en
titled to its share in decrease of rates.
The astonishing result of a 300 per cent
increase of net Income In five years is
sufficient to provide both for Increase In
wages and decrease in charges, and yet
leave a remainder of benefit to stock
holders many times greater than that of
either, the employes or the patrons.
The .proposition submitted to the Ger
man government by President Castro of
Venezuela not proving acceptable, it is
stated that steps will be immediately
taken by Germany to collect the debt
claimed to be due German citizens by
the southern republic. It is understood
that Castro represented that it is im
possible for Venezuela to pay the debt
now, no matter how much she may de
sire to satisfy immediately the claims
against her, and suggested an agreement
providing for deferred payments. The
proposition, it appears, the German gov
eminent regards as inadequate and being
especially designed to gain further time.
There is no doubt that Venezuela is
not in a financial condition to at once
pay this debt, said to be, about $2,000,
000. That country Is practically bank
rupt and its revenues are less than its
expenditures. This is undoubtedly well
known to the German .government
which there is reason to believe would
be dlRposed to be lenient were the Ven
ezuelan government to fully acknowl
edge the obligation and show an honest
intention to settle It. This, however, Is
not President Castro's way, though per
haps he will change his tactics when
be receives an ultimatum and finds Ger
man warships at the ports of Venezuela
for the purpose of collecting customs if
satisfactory arrangements are not made
for the payment of the debt within a
reasonable time.
The coercive measures which Ger
many threatens to tako will not be In
terfered with, it is safe to eay, by the
United States. President Roosevelt evl
dently had this matter In mind when he
said in his message regarding the inde
pendent countries In this hemisphere
"It behooves each one to maintain order
within its own borders and to discharge
Its Just obligations to foreigners. When
this is done they can rest assured that
le they strong or weak, they have noth
lng to dread from outside interference."
There have recently from expressions
of opinion abroad, elicited by the Ger
man and British claims against Ven
ezuela, that lu regard to the conduct o
the various American republics the
United States should accept 'the respon
slbllity. It is argued that this country
cannot properly enforce the command
to European nations of hands off in re
gard to affairs in this hemisphere with
out holding Itself ready to answer fo
the good conduct of its wards the other
republics. The United States, however,
has never Interposed any obstacles to
the collection of a Just debt from any of
its sister republics w hich were disposed
to repudiate their obligations to the citi
sens of foreign powers. Our protection
to the independent countries of thl
hemisphere applies to their territory, but
does not assume to shield them from the
payment of their Just obligations.
If Venezuela persists in her attitude
regarding the German and British
claims she must take the consequences,
her only guaranty so far as the United
States is concerned being that her terrl
tory shall remain Intact The proba
blllty Is, however, that President Cas
tro will conclude that the wiser and U't-
ter way is to come to terms and effect
an amicable settlement.
The retail dealers of Omaha and
throughout the various Nebraska cities
and towns will endeavor to secure from
the coming legislature a modification of
the present exemption laws In those pro
visions which they think unfair to them.
The exemption laws are designed to
protect the wage worker and salaried
clerk upon whose earnings a family de
pends for support, but not to stimulate
and encourage deadbeatism and Impos
ture. '
The safeguards of the law should be
thrown around extreme cases on both
sides the merchant who hos been Im
posed upon should le considered equally
with the unfortunate customer who by
stress of circumstances is unable to pay
his bills promptly. The honest man
should not force a merchant to take re
course to legal enforcement of a Just
and undisputed claim any more than
. . a 1 . II 1
an honest niercnaut snouiu oo coiupeuuu
to suffer by dishonesty hiding behind
legal exemptions.
It is to be hoped that whatever
changes may be made In the law aa It
now stands will look to both parties to
the contention and that a solution fair
to all may bo arrived at
The president said that it is much to
bo desired that our consular system be
established by law on a basis providing
for appotntmeut and promotion .only in
consequence of proved fitness. Two bills
are now in congress providing for re
form In the consular service and It is
reported that the State department is
engaged in drafting a new bill that will
probably be presented during the pres
ent session. The measure now in the
senate was framed by .Senator Lodge
nd Is based largely on civil service
regulations. It is apprehended that this
would prevent Its acceptance by the
house of representatives, in which there
Is considerable opposition to the classl
fled service. Another consular reform
bill was Introduced In the house at the
last session which Its author, Repre
sentative Adams of Pennsylvania, be
lieves will be more acceptable ,to that
body than the senate measure.
The civil service commission. In its
last report, urged the application of the
merit system to the consular .service.
It pointed out the importance which
that service has attained and said that
n order to maintain and increase our
industrial pre-eminence we ought .to
have by far the best consular service in
the world. "We should have the quick
est and most reliable information as to
our opportunities, as well as business
representatives who are able to Improve
them. This can only be done by a con
sular service which is uniformly in
structed and alert" After indicating
some of the defects in the service as at
present constituted and which are in
evitable under the existing system, the
report says: "Good men can be secured
even for the smaller places when faith
ful service in those places becomes the
appropriate portal for entrance to higher
positions. The service will then be
more uniformly filled by men of Intelli
gence, .while the Wither qualifications
of integrity, fidelity and energy will be
enhanced by the prospect of promotion
for good service. It is to the competitive
system, which has so greatly Improved
the other . parts of the service, that we
must look for the permanent betterment
of the consular branch."
Unquestionably the consular service
of the United States is now more effi
cient than ever before in our history.
There are in it many capable and faith
ful men, as the consular reports attent
Our manufacturers and merchants are
kept well Informed as to commercial
conditions abroad and very generally the
consular officials are attentive to their
duties. There are some defects, how
ever, that need to be corrected and It is
especially desirable that the efficiency
which has been reached shall be main
tained. The country wants a consular
service as nearly perfect as it is possible
to make such a service and In order to
attain this it .must be divorced from
politics and proved fitness be made the
basis and only test fo appointment and
promotion. That Is the principle ob
served by European countries in regard
to. their consular service and there is no
sound reason why it should not be ap
plied here.
Opponents of the power canal project
are trying to confuse the public mind
by setting up contesting claims to the
water rights. This game is so trans
parent that anyone can see through It,
Its object being by delay to prevent any
action on the franchise ordinance. The
people of Omaha have been discussing
a power canal so long that they will
have no patience with mere obstruction
lets. If Omaha is to have cheap power
tho sooner It comes the sooner will it be
in position to build up its manufacturing
enterprises and expand in every direc
The hotel catastrophe at Chicago was
obviously due to criminal disregaid of
the simplest principles of safety in con
st ruction. The hotel was built of highly
inflammable materials, the escapes de'
fective and the general arrangeiueut
that of a. fire trap. The responsible au
thoritles utterly failed in their duty. It
was a building In which fire was likely
to occur and in which. If it did occur,
there was. certain to be terrible loss of
life Such carelessness is a high crime
in fact, and It ought to be made so In
law. .
Druggists and liquor dealers are dis
covering that tbe holdup practices of
piratical newspapers have no limits
when once encouraged. The Bee's posl
tlon as the newspaper of largest clrcu
latlon in Douglas county, entitled under
the law to the publication of notices of
liquor license applications, has been re
peatedly upheld by the courts against all
competitors, but that does not stop
other newspapers from trying to shake
down license applicants by threats,
savoring closely of blackmail. Instead
of one holdup, liquor deBlers are now
threatened with two holdups. The only
thing fW them to do Is to advertise In
The Uee and refuse to be bled by the
pretenders. I-ct them remember that no
applicant for n, license who has adver
tised in The Bee has ever been refused
a license on account of defective appli
cation. If the object of President Stlckncy Is
to sell to competing companies his new
Chicago-Omaha line, it looks as if be
might secure a handsome price. How-
ever, it Is due him to any that lie de
clares that the object Is not to selL
One Wise Kicker.
Philadelphia Press.
The Pennsylvania railroad management Is
wise ! opposing a general advance in
freight rates. There has been no good rca.
son presented for any such general In
crease and It Is to be hoped that It will
not take place.
The Slogan of Optimists.
Indianapolis Journal.
When President Roosevelt wrote ot Amer
icans as "men with Iron in their blood" he
could not have intended to include those lit
tle Americans who distrust the abilltv of
the people to solve great and difficult prob
lems. He did not refer to calamltyltes and
Labor Wants a. Dividend.
Indianapolis Mews.
The representatives ot 170.000 railroad
men, who are in session in Cblcaco. evl
dently believe that the prosperity resulting
from increased freight rates should not be
restricted in its beneficial effects f and we
who pay this tax, perforce, are rather In
clined to agree with them.
Looking- for Tronbla.
Buffalo Express.
The sultan of Bacolod, who calls the
American "hogs who eat hogs" and chal
lenges them to fight. Is a great man of
the island ot Negros. Formally he was
a friend of the American, but Just now ha
haa turned the light of his countenance
away from them. There Is a postofflce and
money order office at Bacolod. and It is
easy to Imagine the sultan going to the
office within a few days and writing a
new letter to the Americans, telling them
toat tbe last one was all a mistake.
May Become a Lost Art.
Kansas City Star.
One of the things in this changing world
that ought to be preserved Inviolate
against the touch of Innovation la apple
pie. Properly constructed, with an ingen
ious regard for hygiene and for pleasing
taste, an apple pie is the very apothesls
of cookery and no token ot modern de
generacy Is more mournfully apparent
tban the great scarcity of the sort ot In
telligence and discrimination necessary to
the production ot apple pie, pure and un
defined and divested of all adjuncts and
appurtenances which vitiate the palate and
impair the digestion.
Ofllceholdlna; aa a Bnslnesa.
Detroit Free Press.
As a rule the officeholder works mors
hours for less money than almost any other
private In the great army of the employed.
For every hour that he spends in the per
formance of his' public duties he must
spend at least another hour in keeping his
fences in repair. If he Is elected by the
people he must begin his. work for a re-
nomination as soon as he is elected. If he
holds a subordinate position he must retain
his Influence In his precinct or his services
will not be In demand at the city hall.
It is Bard work and expensive work and the
glory of It all is sadly tarnished.
Hands OH a Good Policy.
Detroit Free Press.
1 President Rooeevelt is right in refusing
to recommend that this government mix
up In any way with Venezuela and its Eng
lish, German and other foreign creditors.
If the moneyed men of Wall street want
to discharge the obligations 'and accept
pledges of future payment from Venezuela
they will be doing a favor to the country,
and probably a greater one to themselves,
for It is disturbing to have foreign war
ships in western waters and foreign offi
cials in charge of western customs offices.
There la slight chance for permanent harm,
but it has a perceptible effect upon timid
capital, which Is absolutely essential to
speculative operations, particularly when
they are carried on at the present stu
pendous scale.
Downfall of Populism Traced to the
Washington Post.
Probably no man who pays so much for
his beefsteak that he feels he is guilty of
extravagance every time he buys a porter
house will admit that the beef trust can
give any good reason for existing, except
that it persists in doing so. We are Inclined
to view every doughty "trust buster" as a
champion of the plain people and an eco
nomic hero. We could view the aggres
sions of the vast combinations of capital
with equanimity so long as they confined
their operations to making steel rails, or
carried terror to the other side of the At
lantic by tbe vaunted "American invasion."
But it Is different when the American citl-
ten is forced to pay as much for a lump
of liver as he used to expend for a Juicy
But the fact remains that the beef trust
can be accused of one public-spirited deed,
although, perhaps, the motive was not
purely philanthropic.
Ever since the settlement of Nebraska
and Kansas these states have been af
flicted with lean years in crops and favored
by others equally fat. But the trouble was
that during tbe lean years, when the hot
winds bad scorched the fields and destroyed
the crops, the farmers disposed of their
stock at famine prices, gave away their
cattle or allowed them to starve. If
bounteous crops came In the following
year they found the price of corn so low
that they burned it tor fuel, and the sum
realised on one-half the produot would not
build a good crib around the ntber half.
To feed the corn to stock was out of the
question, for the output of five acres would
not buy a calf. This state of affairs re
sulted in poverty snd populism.
Here is where the beet trust came to the
front. Three or four years ago tbe Ar
mours and their brethren in business of
fered to sell cattle on credit to farmers who
gave evidence of having sufficient ability to
feed them. A mortgage was taken on the
cattle, which were to be delivered at the
stock yards at Omaha and Kansas City
when fattened. The farmer ran no risk,
and his investment was merely the corn
he could not sell. The beef trust likewise
ran no risk, barring exceptional dishon
esty on the part of the farmer.
la this way the farmers west ot the Mis
souri river have been aided in playing the
lean years against the fat years. It is re
sponsible for much of the prosperity for
which the republican party has taken am
ple credit. Populism has practically died
out and largely on account of beef
In the mines, upon the ranch, in the woods, Dr.
Price's Cream Baking Powder can be trusted. Keeps
fresh and of full strength through rough usage, in
damp and heat, until used, and always turns the
food out just right. Dr. Price's Baking Powder
renders the food more eatable, wholesome and
These great qualities are peculiar to Dr. Price's
Baking Powder and make it valuable and best for
use in the household everywhere.
The prise pussle In Chicago is to tell
whether Mayor Harrison or Bob Burke runs
th. city machine.
Ferry Belmont is willing to make an
other run for congress in a New York dis
trict two years hence. Perry needs the ex
ercise and the district needs the money.
Kansas republicans paid out (13,136 to
elect their ticket In November, according to
a statement recently filed. .Two years ago
th. same kind Of an undertaking cost them
Senator . Clark of Montana is slated to
succeed Senator Jones as chairman of the
democratic national committee. Senator
Clark is well heeled and the committee
needs th. money.
Congressman Orosvetior of Ohio, the emi
nent political prophet, is exercising his
prophetic talents on th. ship subsidy bill.
Th. weather bureau looks with envious
eyes on th. Ohtoaa't marvelous prescience.
Prtncs Jonah Kunia Kalauiauole, who
represents Hawaii In th. next house of rep
resentatives, is the first royal person to en
ter the congress of the V'niled States. Al
ready there Is much speculation as to Just
how ho will b. addressed.
Is the course oi his prayer the other
morning Chaplain Couden of the house be
sought th. dlvlB. blessing on "th. depart
ment of Justice." Congressman Bbattuc of
Ohio said: "The chaplain probably meant
t. say th. suprem. court, or els. b. remem
bered that th. attorney general Is from
Pennsylvania and needs ail th. help h. can
Negroes of Alabama have called a meet
ing, to be held in Belma, December 11, to or
ganise, It is d.clared, a new republican
party, int. which they h.p. to attract some
of th. whit, men of th. state. Th. negro
leaders say that th. 1.000 registered segroes
Js th. state wlU b. the ana whit.
men who do not believe th. negro should be
discarded entirely after so many years ot
affiliation will help.
At tho opening of congress last Monday
the man who received the most floral stten
tlon was Senator Piatt of New York. His
desk was smothered with floral remem
brances, while that of his colleague. Senator
Depew, was conspicuously flowerlesa. It
was a delicate way of testifying to Senator
Piatt's talent at the pie counter.
Speaking of the question of presidential
candidates in 1904 the St. Louis Republic
(dem.) says that "this is the year for dis
cussing the impossible possibilities." And
it adds: "Old Missouri is calmly, modestly,
waiting for the ripeness of time. Out her.
w. have two or three possibilities war
ranted to stand any kind of weather."
Cleveland Plain Dealer: "Her.", more
trouble. There's been an overproduction
of 7 "oo.OoO barrels of salt."
"Well, you can't call that fresh trouble."
New York Sun: Jinks Who was Walt
mink1-! think he was the fellow that
suid, "I'll write It out in this Una If It
takes all the paper."
Philadelphia Press: "I was thinking of
having the ushers offer my picture for sale
at, Hay, II each," said the conceited actor.
"Why not sell them at their face value?"
suggested Mr. Crlttlck. "Make it 34 cents."
Washington Star: "Dar I. two kin's o'
friends," said Uncle Eben; "dem dat wants
to do you favors and dem dat expects you
to do favors fob dem. I kin tell you In
one guess which kin' you has da mos' of."
New York Sun: Mum da Styla lie bet
her a kins Yale would win.
MIfs (Junbuma And how did It come out?
fie Style A tie.
Miss Uunbusta Is that so?
MIhs de Style Yes; I was at the wedding.
Chicago Tribune: "No." said Mr. Wu,
aa he stopped pacing the deck of tha vessel
ajoit u4roa lA ax mm
- V
lea, now fast receding from his view. "I'
can't say I was really a popular man In
that country. No brand of cigars ha. var
been named after ma."
Philadelphia Press: Casey (th. stone
mason) I hwat's the row below? ,
Casaidy (the hotlrarrler) Bhura', Engllxli
Jim just fell from the second dure t the
Casey That's an Englishman fur y.
Shure, it win two hours ago I told him a
Joke, an' 1: . took him all this tolm. to
Chicago Tribune.
Oh, Gentle Reader, kind and good
you muorn your
Just when the sun con to begem
The world with Joy It ihe a. ra.
While you beguile your wppetlte
My reading who was kll.ed last night.
This bard of alabaster orow
And streaming locks b. makes his bow
And bids you
'"1 he top ' th. mornln'."
II. takes the strap from off hla grin,
And shows his line of Jest and quip.
And bits of nonaense, such as men
Are aald to relish now and then;
A song, perchance; and sermona, to.;
And divers other stunts to do
Hut. first of all, as has been Mid.
He bows his deferential head.
And bids you 1
"Th. top o' the mornln'."
Th. morning has a top, you know
'Tis where tha best Impulses grow
Where goldenest of sunbeams slant
Across the gorgeous good-lu'k plant;
And If you're at tha morning's top
Then you may pluck that lucky crop.
So, first of all. and from the heart,
permit him, at the very start.
To wish you
"Th. top o' th. mornlnV
Oh, Gentle Reader, good and kind.
To brava an ante-breakfast mind
That mind cold, calm, dlapasHlonate
With which you view your cup and plate
Require, a courage without allp:
Keguirea an ooseleas finger tip.
Your humble servant haan't that
but beaa you'll note hla lifted hat.
And bids you
"U'ia tan th. nuarnla'