Scenes atCommercial Traveled Picnic
Photographs Taken by The'ltce
Staff Artist at Council Itluffs
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CLERKS OF THE COURSE LOOKING FOR STARTERS.
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FAT MANS HATE JUST BEFORE THE FINISH.
I'NI'KR THE TREES Wlill.E dTHEItS "SIM iRTEl '
WHEN THE Mi:i;iEI) WOMEN TOEH THE SCRATCH
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START OF THE (IIHI.S- FOOT RACE.
StanditiK C. I Pisron. Sheldon. Ia.; A. E. Brav. Council Bluffs; T B. Slmme, Sioux City: Clav B. Platner,
Council Bluffs: A. V. Wfldul, Sioux City; L. Zurmuehlen, Council Blufta; W. A. Gray, Des Moines; C. R. Rohde, Water
loo; V. N. Oarretson, Mason City.
Sitting H. H. Smith, Des Molnea, prand spntlncl; M. J. Brnizell, Shpldon, grand conductor; C. R. Olmstead. Sioux
City, Brand secretary: J. R. Granor, Mason Citv, grand councilor; J. T. Helwlg, Council Bluffs, grand past councilor;
M. A. Struhle, grand Junior councilor.
OFFICERS AND DELEGATES IOWA COUNCIL U. C. T.
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START OF THE MEN'S HW-YARD DASH.
When Men of the Cloth Are in the Merry Mood
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I toddy for the Huke of ex-
auipiv. i ue uui'iui &aiu inia
change was bud for him, and sug
gested his taking a dose surrep
titiously whenever he sent for his shaving
water. Some time after the doctor called
again, and the old servant met him with
tears In her eyes. "Oh, doctor, doctor!"
she exclaimed, "the meenister's gane clean
daft, clean daft! lie's sending for bis
shaving wather frae mornin" tae nicht!"
"My brethren," said the old colored
preacher, "it was this way: When the
Israelites passed over It was early lu the
morning, while it was cold and the ice was
strong enough so that they went ovi r all
right; but when the Egyptians came along
It was lu the middle of the day, and the
sun had thawed the lee so that it gave
way under them and they were drowned."
At this a young man in the congregation,
who had been away to school and had come
home, rose and said: "I don't see how
that explanation can be right, parson. The
geography that I've been studying tells us
that ice never forms under the equator,
and the lied Sea Is nearly under the
equator." "There, now," said the old
preacher, "that's all right. Use been
'spectln' some of you smart Alecks would
be askin' jest some such fool question.
The time I was talkin' about was before
they had any Jogafries or 'quators, either."
Rev. Charles Dalmer, pactor of Holy Cro3a
Catholic church et Isaitimore, Is a man of
peculiarities In many things, but bis no
tions that strike some people as odd are
generally based upon sound common sense.
One of his pet aversions is the bestowal of
long names upon children.
"I don't believe in them," he says. "They
make me tired. Sometimes people come
here with a baby to be christened. I take
It In my arms and ask: 'What is her name
to be?
" 'Amelia Ella Martha Washington Jones,'
they answer.
"Then I look at them in a way they
don't understand and I ask: 'What are
you going to call her when you want her
to stop playing with the matches and go to
bed?'
" 'Ella,' they answer.
"And I go on with the service and chris
ten the child Ella. I wouldn't load the lit
tle things down with any such burden as
Amelia Ella Martha Washington. The
parents think she's been christened that,
and if it's any comfort to them I'm satis
fied. It's their fault and I didn't have any
band In It."
The late Rev. Dr. John Henry Harrows,
president of Oberlin college, and formerly
pastor of a Chicago congregation, us d to
tell a little story concerning an experience
of his own that may be worth passing
along. It was at the lime that Dr. Harrow
was making arrangements for the holding
of the great congress of religions in Chi
cago. He had an immense correspondence
to take care of and found It necessary to
employ a stenographer. The young woman
was pretty. It is not to be Inferred that
there are any but pretty women stenog
raph! rs, but the one employed by Dr. Har
rows was especially comely.
The doctor fitted up a workroom on the
third floor of bis home, where be and the
stenographer toill hard day after day,
undisturbed by callers and well away from
the noises of the streets.
The work of preparing for the congress
was. still going forward on February 14,
when the doctor's little son became ex
cited over the sending and receiving of
valentines. The boy had been running
about the neighborhood handing love tokens
to the children he knew anil many had
come to him when he remembered that h"
had a father up on the third floor, in ad
dition to the One in heaven, doing to ills
mother, he proposed that they send up n
valent I lie.
"Well," said Mrs. Barrows, "It is very
nice of you to remember your father. How
would It do for me to write a valentine
for him and let you take it up?"
The boy was delighted ut the idea and
his mother wrote upon a sheet of paper:
"I'lei.se kiss the bearer."
This she placed in an envelope, which
was properly sealed and addressed to thv
doctor. The boy started upstairs with his
valentine, but be had been running around
a good deal during the morning and his
legs were weary. When he had reached
the second floor he met the pretty stenog
rapher, who had started out after postage
stamps or something, and asked if she
wouldn't be kind enough to hand the note
to his father.
She took the envelope, gave the child a
pat on the cheek and ran back upstairs,
w here perhaps promoted by female cur
iosity she wailed while Dr. Harrows
opened his valentine and mid in his wife's
handw rit ing:
"Please kiss the bearer."
Here Is where Dr. Harrows always cut
the story off.
Maine furnishes a story that illustrates
the grotesque character of some prayers
which are offered in entire good faith. Some
time ago all earnest prohibitionist enme un
awares en a lone fisherman, who happened
at Hip moment to lie quietly drinking some
thing from a black bottle. He was so much
scandalized by the sight that at the prayer
meeting that evening he referred to the
incident as follows:
"O Lord, we a.-k Thee to turn from his
evil ways the poor besotted sinner I seen
this afternoiu suiting rum from a black
bottle against the peace and good order of
the state."
It so happened that the sinner referred
to was present at the meeting, ami at the
conclusion of the prayer arose and offers I
the following petition:
"O Lord, Thou knowest that when the
brother seen me I was not drinking rum, a.i
I don't like It, but Scotch whisky, which
Hip doctor ordered me to take to keep away
iheumatiz, and Thine be the glory forever.
Amen."
Will Moody, son and successor at North
field ff the late Dwight I,. Moody, tells the
following fclory, apropos v,r recent theolog
ical i vents, about a young convert in the
Salvation Army, who, earnest and zealous.
was imbued with the Idea that be must
speak lo everyone on the subject of religion.
He was especially moved one day while
traveling to address a somewhat auti re
Individual seated Just in front of blm.
the shoulder, he put the
'My brother, are yon a
Touching him on
usual question:
Christian?"
"Sir," was ihe
reply
iiml perhaps wi'h
it shade of impatience "I'm a professor
in a theological M-minary."
Hut this only seemed to call for renewed
effort, mid the young man was equal to
it. "My dear brother," he said, "as you
value your soul, don't let a thing like that
stand between yen and the Lord"
Pointed Paragraphs
Chicago News: An irresistible impulse Is
one we yearn to follow.
When a man is short he is naturally more
or less crusty.
Only a great man can successfully dodge
undeserved glory.
Ee nomy is the foiindat ion on which all
large fortunes are built.
If a man Is unable to blush there'u little
hope of reforming him.
Little mice gnaw at a big cheese and lit
tle, vices gnaw at a great virtue.
If the evil in man is visible it is an easy
matter to overlook all the good.
The more mistakin a man makes the
tasier it is for him to invent excuses.
If the Creator ever made a failure It wa:i
probably due to an attempt to make a man
who could please his neighbors.