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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 11, 1902)
n II . 1 1 '. w-vs i r m vv i f ! :L ,.liK. . L 11! l I Tt:;"t "id... ri I V ELECTRICITY BUILDING, LOUISIANA riRCIIAPE EXPOSITION WALKER & KIMBALL, BOSTON AND OMAHA, ARCHITECTS. Stories Cast in a Religious Mold P EOPLE of the middle west have should sen the Bplondld archbishop we hae ways give when 1 no to u strune special Interest In this story which was recently related ty Dean Stubb3 of Ely, England: "Bishop McLaren of Chicago had for his secretary Archdeacon Rushton, an Englishman, who had married a Canadian Tho archdeacon was a Yorkshlreman. Tho children of the union were born In Chicago. One day the youngest boy came home from school. His lesson in history th:it day had been about th" war of Independence. He asked his father and mother If they were 'Britishers.' They sfcld they were. 'Well,' replied the boy, "I don't care. You had tha king's army and we had only a lot of farm ers, but we thrashed jou.' " the trouble to enter the sanctunry. A few Sundays ago he was announced to preach at a popular church, and the family who en tertained him had a little daughter who was very fond of attending service. When the family got ready little EIslo flatly refused to go with them. "I don't want to go to church," she de clared. "What's tho matter?" asked the mother, much surprised, "are you III?" "I don" like the bishop," confessed the child. "Oh. Elsie, that's a wicked thing to say!" gapped the mother. "I hate the bishop," insisted the little one. "Tell mother why," said the hostess. "Well," Bald Elsie, confidentially, "the bishop preaches so long that I can't keep awake, and he preaches to loud that I can't go to sleep." As the divine tells the story on himself, It's probably true. The members of the Amlsh, a peculiar re ligious sect, mostly agriculturists, are very numerous In Lancaster county, Pennsyl vania. They have been credited with small ser?e of humor, but this anecdote of a re cent political campaign will prove to the contrary. An orator sought to Impress a gathering near Paradise, In that county, with hla loiflr tirlnplni? tiimflf down tf thp .Naturally, ne expectcu tne pinre wouia dc ,(,V(ll of n,g ljstpn,,r3 by c)alm of ruraI crowded Inside; Instead of this he was sur- brtn "Why. I was raised between two prised to find it only moderately full. 'Why.' hlls of rorn .. hp dpt.iare(1 ..amj ood's sun he demanded of the pi.stor. 'dnn't you let B,.in h, .v. ,-,.- nnn m. .. Wn n In St. Louis for our residence." church.' - Just then the deacon came ith the plate There is a certain bishop whose piety Is aI1,i George dropped a coin. Everything umiuestioned, but who has an unfortunate Rn,.,,.,i favorable, and the young man habit of preaching very long sermons. He learned with a sense of generosity. Then has, besides, an exceedingly sonorous voice, the minister made the announcements for and people living anywhere within a block the week, and concluded with the whollv of his church can hear hlra without taking unexpected announcement of the day's col- "Soine years ago," raid a preacher, "we Inaugurated in our Sunday school the prac tice of our children quoting seme Scrip tural text as they dropped their pennies lrio the contribution box. On the first Sunday In question n little shaver walked up and said: 'The Lord loveth a cheerful Klver.' nnd In dropped his penny. 'Charity shall cover a multitude of slr.s.' and In dropped the next. 'It Is more blessed to give than to receive,' quoted the third, and : .i oa. Just then up walked a little fellow with the unmistakable remnants of molasses candy on his chubby face, and, as he dropped his cent, he bawled out: 'A fool and his money are soon parted." " "Dr. Talmage, during his visit to England In 1870," says the Ixmdon Chronicle, "had been engaged to preach In a church In one of the large towns of England. On arriving at the building h? found It besieged by a throng of from l.VOW) to 20,00,0 people. this crowd of people come in?" 'Oh,' said nioment there was a pause, and the poll- lection. "The collection today," said he, "was U7.V (ieorge hadn't much to say all the way to his fiance's home. Funeral Flowers "The open barouche filled with flowers sometimes seen preceding the hearse at the head of a funeral procession," said an undertaker, quoted by the New York Sun, "contains flower pieces too big to be put In the hearse, some of which, at least, are too big to stand up In a closed carriage. So where there are many largo pieces they are (sometimes all arranged in an open carriage, making a display that never fails to attract attention. "From this conspicuous display of Mow ers, which Is one most likely to be seen at the funeral of a person of foreign birth or descent, the practice changes down to m display at all, as In the case of the far more numerous funerals at which there are no flowers carried or only such as can be laid upon the coffin or carried within the hearse. "In some rases, where there are many large flower pieces, they are carried In a carriage with the top half open to give room for things that would not stand un der the top closed. Hut the more common practice when the flowers are so many tin to require a separate vehicle for their transportation Is to carry them In a clc;d carriage, with, no display at all. In many he, 'each person Inside has paid 4 shilling ,,,., f:lm.ylng ho n!1(j ma( aB lmpre88on. "H'"8 ,he, "wers can a" ba P1""''1 ln ,no ii, K--v iu. ...... ............. was about to continue his harangue, when a ' " ...... ....... ...,, preach from the text. 'Without money and Amlshman In the rear of the hall inter- 8re many a,era ln,,rp "re carried to the without price.' He changed his subject." rupted- "A pumpkin I know what he C4"metory "n'y BUin beautiful or appropriate means" pieces as can actually be laid upon the I "Baptizing days" are great events among coffin Itself. the negroes of the south. On one occasion jt .ag a aark rBlny Sun(Jay nKht, yet "u U8,,(1 to he 'hat all the flowers re- j the old black preacher took two candidates, tne African Methodist Episcopal church was celved at a funeral were sent to the ceme- I one a middle aged, sedate, quiet man, tho crowded to the door, relates the Phlladel- l,'rr ani' Placed upon the grave, to waste other a young, excitable fellow, out In the rhla Times. Just as the old colored and wither, and they were subject also to i stream where the water was waist deep, preacher was about to pronounce the bene- Pilfering hands. Now flowers that are In j He put the older one down nrst, wno came diction Brother Thompson Jumped upon BU'n rorm as to be suitable for the pur up. folded his arms, looked dignified and one of the benches and shouted: "Brothers pious. The younger one, after being put and sisters, when I came In dls church fo under, came up greatly excited and shout- night I had an umbrella and I laid It ln one Ing: "Olory! Olory! I seed de Lord! I ob dese aisles an' some one dun take it seed Him in de water, right down dar at away, an' I know Just zaetly who It am. an' de bottom!" The older one, patting him on if da don't bring It to ma house afor next lr,,""p 'he happiness of the living, the shoulder, said: "Hush, honey, hush; dat Sunday I'll expose 'em afor de whole con- "While there are many flowers still sent warn't de Lord. I seed it. It was nothln" gration." ns funeral offerings, there are not so ma.iy but a terrapin." Brother Thompson did not attend the PH f'inerly. The phrase 'kindly omit 8 services the next Sabbath, but It was 'lowers' is literally Interpreted and the A story Is told of a negro evangelical ,.arned from his ner.hew that w..ntv. sending of flowers mere and more eon pose are, it may be, given away after the funeral services to some institution; per haps some Institution for children, where instead of simply willing and fading as they would otherwise have done, they con- mlnlster who held night services In a chapel umbrellas were left at his house during the lumeriy useu vy tne Aiigucau cuurcn. jii week a hymnal which had been left he found ; an old familiar hymn suitable for his ser- Robert Vaun, colored, jf Philadelphia, and mon, but the Roman number CXIX some- his wife quarreled ovr religion and as a what confused him, and he was embar- result found themselves in the police court, rassed as to how to announce the hymn. "It's Just because I won't Join them As was the custom he read the stanzas blame old feet washers that my wife brings through, seeming still con'used. He then "e here," said Robert. "She says she's reread the firet stanza, which did not seem a saint and that all the other feet washers to aid him ln helping the congregation, now are saints, and they go to the other place very much bewildered. Trovlng redoubt- on wings. I don't know which place she able, he straightened himself up and seemed means. But I do know this, that when to grasp the situation at a glance and in a 1 leave this world for the other I want to stentorian voice exclaimed, "Brethren, let K ,n the regular way, and I don't want " sing the Skee-six hymn." wings, wheels or anything else." "Now, Robert, the only way I Bee out of When Archbishop Patrick J. Ryan of aimcuiiy w ior you io join your wire Philadelphia was a very young priest he church," said the magistrate. Robert said he was an out-and-out Bap tist, and would not change. "Before I would Join the feet washers' denomination and parade up and down the streets In my bare feet I would die." Rev. Alexander Allison, Jr., of Thlladel- rihiA tplln A litnrv of a vnimir mnn who took a Chicago priest who was visiting the his best girl to church, and when the time uun i i iiy, ne pointed out the house as for "collection" came around, rather OBten- the residence of the head of the local tatlously displayed a I", gold piece. Fre- rhurrh. The Chicago priest said, with sur- sumlng upon the engagement to marry that had been made to her, the young woman 'Why, you should see the splendid reel- placed a restraining hand upon the arm di'n.e we have In Chicago for our arch- of her fiance. "Why, don't be so extrava- t.ishnp." gant George!" she exclaimed. "Vs." responded Father Ryan, "but you "Oh, that's nothing," he replied. "I al- as stationed in St. Louie, where Arch Mshop Kenrick presided ever the diocese. The latter lived ln a very small, unpre '"nfloug house, scarcely In keeping with his rsition In the church, fine day when Father Ryan was passing ne house of the archbishop accompanied by fined to relatives and immediate friends. While the burial rasket of today la made richer and more rostly than ever, the mod ern tendency as to funerals Is all the time toward greater simplicity in the publi display." JSm .Ukakes short roads. 'iXnd light loads. (TjrMEASE Vood for PVrtrt1iinfT that runs on wheels Sold Evorywhoro. It by STANDARD Oil. CO. 1 . . . . : . ... : ,. -j ''V ,; . I $!hT7 '?. s . . j z: . ' - " ' . WOLF HOUNDS AND THEIR Ql'ARRY NEAR BEAVER CITY, Neb. Uelationsliip Mixed lawyers occasionally run across some singular cases In the courso of their prac tice. A member of that guild recently re ceived a call from a new client, a man bent upon recovering a sum of money advanced upon a note ami not repaid. "Who is the defendant'.'" asked Hie law yer. "h, she's a relative of mine." "How nearly related?" "Very nearly." "But, my dear sir," persisted the lawyer, "you must be more explicit." "Well, she may bo my inollier-in law." "May be? Then you are likely to marry her daughter." "I've already married t lit daughter." TAKEN AFTER A Kl't'CESSITL CHASE "Then, of courso, tho defendant Is your moi her-ln-law." "Perhaps you'd better hear the whole story," returned tho client. "You see, a year ago we lived togt-tlier, my son nnd I. Across the way lived tho widow Foster nnd her daughter Mary. I married Mary and my son married tho widow. Now, perhaps you can tell me whether my son's wife is my mother-in-law or my daughter-in-law." The lawyer did not answer. The prob lem was unfamiliar, lie wns not ready. "I don't think I can take your case," h, ni l. "Il priHentH loo ninny compll allons" "Very well," returned tho man, taking his hat, despondently. "But thero's one thing 1 forgot. Since our double wedding a child hart been born to each of us. 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Ii.miI.I tint .1 M,ir,l.ul n.-nil ! tut for our literature on our Kaliii.un M'.lithlvI'i-rKMl hvirillatxrand M.-.l-I. altjl I terns Cravain. We will eii. tr.-e treat laii ami liUTal ir... alao a.tvi. e Ir. f. l urra e. rtam 1 1 ..rrfaixiiiilf iif airietlv i iirill.l. iitlal Slid Invited I'lai 11 eiiVfl.iM-a UK,. I 111 r.'I'IMKir. M ... url M...II, ui I ni it at.' for w. 11. K.,. una :h; 10:1 1'.', torn Mum hi haunaa Cuy, Mu. I'r.v..i .Mri a, V. o. ilox oiij" PRICES REDUCED IVaI'20 l .Mi Vapor Bath Cabinet earl, yuakiir " " .50,c fl' I 1 ii Face A Head Ktoam. All. h. r Ouality lawt. Uiiaraiited. fi. r.w iiu Bn "Ouakcr." t I Write for our Xrw Vmt. Iilru,?' ""' 'al CO-D.t oiler. I. .ilhlll't llil.i it. Your I... cnyioa. now plau, nvw ful .HI.,., llu.ti.,,. K, K'r-,7 "wmT Vr'"?"n H.HS f, U. T M'.rM Hid... t ZlmLLZ When Writing to Advertisers Always Mention The Bee. .'ft 7i man n