THE 03LAIIA DAILY -JJEE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1002. la r Amusements Theater-goers were forced, last week, to gratlfr their desires for amusement with vaudeville. The only offering at the Boyd worthy of not being Augustus Thomas' splendid play of the west and western people, and Inasmuch aa the piece was seen her two season'! ago with the origi nal cast, the same aa la now making the play such a great success) In London, In eluding Theodore Roberta, Wattle Earle, Vincent Serrano and other equally aa well known. It attracted little attention tare from the few who did not aee It at that time. The audiences were accordingly rather small. At the Orpheum the bill, the Orpheum road show, was easily tho best that has been seen at this theater during the season and each performance attracted enough people to comfortably Oil tho theater, while on Sunday and Friday nights, the latter being military night, standing room only was to be had. Undoubtedly the iiost Interesting feature of the program, least to Omaha people, waa the act of ne Omaha Guards Catling aectlon, or c they were billed, the Union Oatltng Guards. Their reception nightly was enthusiastic, to ea the least, and It was well deserved, el nee the act la without question one of the moet thrilling of any In vaudevl'lo today. . The eight young men who constitute the Omaha Guards' Gatllng gun aquad, which returned to the city last week for a brief atay at the Orpheum, after having spent ' tlx months en tour, during which time they have appeared at themajorlty of the leading theater throughout the country, feuve a vastly different Idea of the life of a theatrical performer than they did be fore they mad their debut here a season ago. Their experience a related to dif ferent friend here during their stay last week are at wide and varied a all the ramification of etagedom Itself and would Oil a volume that would make decidedly Interesting reading. In a conversation with the writer Captain Arnout, speaking of the trip and the vlewa of the men regarding theatrical life, ald: "The boya have dis covered that the life of an actor, usually looked upon by young men outside of the profession aa being a thing of beauty and Joy forever, I In reality much more pleas ant la anticipation than in realisation. One experience much the same monotony a la found In any business or profession, and X think perhapa a little more. Of course the traveling I not unpleasant, since there are enough of us to keep each other company, and where we play a week In large cities there are almost always point of interest enough for us to look up to make the time past rapidly and pleasantly. When we firt ttarted out It waa pretty much every fel low for himself and to his own taste, but we oon found that thl waa a rather lonesome way to enjoy ourselves, as there were no two who wanted to do the tame thing or go to the same place, o w finally decided to have one man look up and make inqulriee about the different polnte of interest and then all take them In together. Thla it our present plan, and wt And It much mart pleaaant than any we have yet tried. During the teven dayt of a week it I only necesary for u to be In the theater about four hour all told. Our act run about lx minute, It take us ten minute to get Into our uni form and that long again to change to our atreet clothe, so you tee wt have all but about a half hour of each day to oureelves. Holldaya alwaya looked forward to at home with to much pleaaure art particularly dull among theatrical people, wh of eourt always tad themselves hundreds of miles away from home and loved one. Christ mas and New Tear't were tpent in Ban Francisco and aside from the packages and letter which wt received from home there wat llttlt to gladden our hearts or make nt realise fully that tt wat a holiday. All holidays mean doubla work for ut, aa wt play an txtra matinee, of course, wt don't mind the work to much, but wt must t on hand at tht theater at a certain time and that epoll th afternoon for us, and you might say the entire day, for ttnee the boys have been on the road they have formed the habit of Bleeping rather late and breakfast and lunch are usually aten at tht tama timt of day. Tnanas turkev and cava thank la Indianapolis. Tho only pleaaanl thing I can remember about the day wa that the proprietor of the hotel where the en tire Orpheum company wat atopplng gave a little tpread for u after the tvenlng performance. "One of the llrat thing we do after arriv ing in town I to look up th military com panies, If there art any, and pay them a Ytslt. Of all of thoae w havt teen drill to far I cannot recall ont that excella our an comDanlea when It comet to perfec tion la military evolutlona or knowledge of tactics. Wt havt been received coraiaiiy and treated splendidly by the military or ganlxatlont of the different cities wt havt visited to far, with on exception Indian spoils. That la where tht battery It lo cated which won aecond prise in the artll larv claaa at the national encampment held in Mnmnhla. Tenn.. aome year ago. Th Omaha Ouarda' gatllng section entered la h. onmnatitlnn and von first prise. This teemed to be a thorn In the aldt of tht In dlanaoolla company, and wt wert not re ceived with open anna by them during our engagement tber. "How does th drill take la the different cities?" "Very well. Indeed. I cannot re call a city where w havt played that the audlencea have not been particularly en thusiastic over It. In Canada It wat really tht hit of the whole show, at leaat to far a applause end enthuslaam goea. The Canadiana seem to bt partial to anything military and they mada It particularly A Prompt action pleases Buffalo people. Get down to causes at once. Bad backs are caused by sick kidneys. Jo cure backache cure the kidneys. One remedy sure to do it. Doan's Kidney Pills Core all kidney ills. ' ! ; ": No time wasted trying to cure other troubles. For kidneys only. - Endorsed by citizens of Omaha. Mr. J. W. Edward. 2T3S Fowler street, say: "I moat aaj that I bad not much confidence tn Doan'a Kidney Pill be fort I used them, but I was o troubled with ymptom 0f kidney complaint and suffered ao severely that I wat compelled to do something, and went to Knhn St Co' drag store for a box. They soon convinced me of their valut and after completing the treatment I was not troubled." pleasant for u, both socially and otber- wlae. In 8aa Francisco, too, they were very alee to us. There were any number of soldiers In 'Frisco and, of course, they are always enthusiastic over an act of a mill- tary character, we nave received many compliments oa our work by military of- flcers. and it Is those that are most gratify- I ing to me. dots, since omcera are Dener qualified to Judge of Ita merit than any one else. We hava bad compliments from tuitriBuoi. wuu uito 1 0s been appearing la vaudeville for a In the Oermaa and British armies, and they ,, or.r m ye(tr "Auer a Rag Pictures all urge ua to make a tour of Europe, as- fumi... . fnPln , -,.Pf.,nm.. surlng us that our apeclalty would be a Dig nil inert on account 01 me military spirit of the different European countries. "Have we such a trip In prospect? Tea. but nothing definite has or will be decided about It until we reach Chicago, which will be within a few weeks. Mr. Beck, the di rector of the Orpheum circuit, wanta to manage us and book a tour abroad for ua next season, under the' same terms of our present contract, but the boys do not seem willing to work for the same figure longer than the end of the present season. They realise that a trip abroad would be quite a novel experience, yet they are not overly anxious to take It unless the terms are exactly to their liking. We have submitted our figure to Mr. Beck and will know within a few week positively as to our future movements. "The conduct of the members of the squad has been most exemplary during the trip ao far. Not once has the manager of the Orpheum road show found It necessary te 'call them down.' aa the saying goes. This much can hardly be said for another act upon the bill and we are prouder of it than anything else about the trip, Frank James rushed Into the llme-llt circle down at Kansas City and demanded that the courts restrain the presentation of "The James Boys In Missouri." because, forsooth. It glorified outlawry. That's Just where Frank made a mistake. His stric tures on outlawry are well taken, but come a trifle late from him. Had he commenced on this line sooner say forty years ago be might have become a useful citizen, but he wouldn't have known nearly so much about the business he engaged In during the best years of hi life. Also, he might v. muiifli h fmrmm hi. have modified the terms of his petition If " na gone 10 see me piay oerore going Into court. He would have found in It I little that glorifies outlawry, but much that glorlfle. the Jame. brother. He would nave listened to himself and the late la-1 mented Jesse spouting nlatltudea and I heroics at an astonishing rate, accompany- I ... . .,.... i .cui BujuBBui; i witn appropriately athletic action and circumspect conduct. It 1 their mission I In th niiv .riii. I.. .... I vent robbery and to protect the helpless, an toe wane engaging in nonest toil to I earn means to provide a frugal living. In one part of the play. It Is true, they swsar to aevote tneir lives to revenge on a cowardly gang of guerrillas and horse- thieves, but even tbtt vengeance takes a nobla form, for in tht very next act w art shown tht James brother engaged at preventing th robbery of a train. Ia doing thl they exterminate all of tht out law but one, and he. Bob Ford, by name. 1 apared to shoot Jesse In tht back the only point In tho play at all consistent with fact known concerning tht Jame brother. Frank Jame failed to secure the retirement ot thla unhealthy bit of I fiction from the stage, but If bt bad won ha would have performed at least one pub lio service during bt life. It I to be feared, however, that his course will but advertise the play and himself. Coming, Greats. Frederick Nell Innet, almost "Omaha's Own," la coming back for a too-short stay, only four concerts at the Boyd, beginning today. He comet fresh from a tour of the middle west, where bt hat been adding new friends to bit already long list and achier Ing new triumph for hi band and his baton. At Denver, where he played all last week, one hypercritical young man took ex captions to Innes' style as a conductor and Mnallv AhiArtr1 Ia hta Invlnv mm fha K. nA play. Now, tome of you Omaha people jut try to iizubiu inuva nut aiugiag mm me band play. Why, that earnest enthusiasm of the man that leada him to forget every thing but the muslo Is tha greatest part of bis success. It waa what made him great aa a trombonist. In tha dayt when wt knew him only at a soloist. It 1 part of bis genius and find ita vent In spite of him as he weave those wonderful tone picture that delight all who listen to hi player, Innet I a worker in fact. It waa a musi cian who said genius 1 hard work and ljls success i tn direct result or his unre mitting effort. Ho baa a band so strangely orchestrated that It gives all that delicate effect of an orchestra uid at the same time preserves tht martial brilliance of a concert band. H hat changed Its Instrumentation somewhat sinca his laat visit to Omaha, but preserve th effect of th old day of "Love ts King," of the "Dane of tho Skeletons," of the wonderful Tschalkowsky tons picture ot "1812," of Rubenstela't "Kammenol Oatrow" and Wagner overture that en tranced tbe listeners other timet when Innet waa her. Red band and Royal band, and banda from other placet, may coma and go and make friends' in Omaha, but none ot them will conquer the place la the popular heart as did Innea. HI pro gram this year art interspersed with scene from th operas, sung by very ca pable people. Four conoert will bt given In Omaha, matinees and evening on Sun day and Monday. David Belasco'a vividly realistic drama of love and war, "Th Heart of Maryland. will bt teen at tha Boyd for four perform ances atartlng Thursday night. "The Heart I of Maryland." with Ita evenly-balanced east, the romanticism of Ita scenic lllustra- lions, tie effectiveness and Intense Inter est of Its realistic climaxes and above alt the exceptional directness of Ita diction, will never fall to attraot tho popular ad miration and sympathy. The bill opening at the Orpheum today wln preBent for the moet part acta new t jcj ptrooa. Katherlne Bloodgood, the pr1m4 aonna wno occpiee the headline nosltlon. nva a recital at the Tranamla- llMppl wpo,itt0n, where she waa presented 4 tpecai feature by the Illinois state commission. Admission was by Invitation na onIy a Htaltti number heard her. She A racm,n BTa(jes aa artiste studio and froln ,trlp, of torn c)otn ukea from hl. rag bag constructs pictures. "The Crimson Mask," a little comedy, will be presented by Marie Dupont and company. Eva Mudge, a winsome soubrette. Is one of the young American actresses who. In the lan guage of the press agent, "captivated Lon don" laat year. Her specialty consist of singing and dancing, with the added feature of rapid change of costume, wearing a different dreas for each of her songs. The Rozlno have been seen here In their comedy, acrobatics, aa have also the Three Weston musical entertainers, who promise something new. The Faust sisters will con tribute a stunt in the art of terpslcbore and the klnodrome will appear again with the latest moving pictures. Commencing with Sunday matinee the management of the Trocadero announce the "In Gay Paris" burleequers, an or ganisation of considerable magnitude. The two burlesques are entitled "A Hot Wave" and "A Cold Shoulder," which are full of comical situations, gorgeously 'staged. The several acts In the olio Include Gil Brown, "the twentieth century coon;" the Hlrsch borna, Swlsr warblers; Hinston and Frisco, European novelty; Novello, the human snake; Let Toknem, singer of sweet songs; King Charles, "the wonder;" Evans, Devees and Evans, the eastern atars, and Dal ton and Boyle, In scenes from Arkansas, The engagement Is for the entire week with dally matinees. Playa and Players. Tt la said that Booth Tarklngton may write a play for Cecilia Lortua to star in. Mr. Brown-rotter nas aeniea ine report, lhat Bho wouId vlglt UnUed 8tates this winter. Augustus Thomas has begun work on a f.tT pla3J. of J? England life to be called Geo. Thjlt : , to ., . ,n atrel and variety company, opening In Louisville about April 1. Eleanora Duse probably will begin her A MotMna n m nnrla in vt a n x fro m kri r ill xJebler ft Co., in Boston next October. air Henrv Irvlnai celebrated his 65th birthday at Rochester, February 5. He leceivea many messages ot congratulation, ..Do 1 ..,! I. ..M ha l Orleans engaging real levee negroes for a Lonaon production oi uncie xom s caoin. Frank J. Perley will produce a new rou steal, comedy entitled "The Wild Rose" at tne uamcK tneater, rniiaaeipnia, next month. Billy Clifford, who was recently divorced from his wife. Maud Huth. says that he will shortly be married to Miss Evelyn Cor- bln of Minneapolis. Edna Wallace HoDDer Is out with the announcement that the title of the musical comedy In which she will star next season Is "The Gold Digger." It Is now rerjorted In New York that a musical comedy Is being written around 'Huckleberry nnn" in wnicn Jerome syk.es will star tiext season. Jerome K. Jerome'a "Miss Hobbs" has been translated Into the Russian language nd wl" a be presented la St. re tent burg by order of tha czar. Paul Kester baa dramatized Mark Twain's "Tom Sawyer." Charles Frohman win present it next season, but aa yet tha actor for tho title part has not been se lected. Ethel Barrymort Is sharing tho tame Sopularity which her mother, the late eorgla Drew Barrymore, had as a co medienne. In "Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines" the has scored an unquestioned success. At tho D resent time there are no less than nine companlea engaged In presenting rioraoora- in iorwign countries, five ot them are In England, one In Australia, one In India, one in South Africa and ona In New Zealand. The Bostonlans have scored a exeat suc cess with "Maid Marian" in New York, and it Is more than likely that the company will finish the season in the big metropolis. Eugene Cowles Is to make a tour under thtt .... o( the Kukim nnwi nn i ana wonccn company, pia.ying lyceunt cir cults. The performance will consist of a concert first part, followed by a one-act operetta. One of tho members of the Eugenie Blair company was stricken with smallpox at Port Huron. Mich., laat week and the en ure aggregation was uuaranuned for three days Tn a small house on the outskirts of tne city. "Arlsona" was produced at the Adelphl theater, London, February S, and, accord ing to the cables, was received enthusi astically. The critics speak in high terms of the play and company. Theodore Rob erts, Vincent Serrano, Edgar Selwyn and Olive May made conspicuous successes. Stuart Robson says the proudest moment I of bis life was two weeks ago, when sixty- eight pages of the congress and the senate attended hla performance of "Th Henri. etta" In Washington, and asked for the honor of meeting him, and the little fellows niea past him one by one, each shaking his hand. Mr. Robson was himself a ruura during the thirty-first congress. Charles Hawtrey's contract with Charles F?0",!"", J1", J?T 1"! toTJhref XT," weeks each season. Mr. Hawtrey will end his engagement at the Garrick March 8. Next season he will continue in "A Mes sage from Mars," and the following he will be seen In "The Man from Blankley's." Fanny Rloe has been writing a book based on her versatile experience, and adorned with her happy gift of humor, and is only holdlrc the proof sheets back tn Include In It the experiences of her present season in vaudeville. Its title Is "Rtan Life as I Have Found It." and it is founded on a laimrui aiary wnicn sne nas kept, beainnlna- with her earliest atruarlea tnr success when she stsxted a a child en tertainer. Musical Tht arrangement for the appearance ot Kubellk baa been made. He will positively appear In Omaha, and at th Boyd theater. Thl 1 a gratifying announcement. It wa feared that the concert would have to be at th Coliseum, but the Olympian god who preslds over th destinies ot the muses averted that dlaaater. I have been told by the committee that while the management demanded a heavy guarantee from Omaha, they wert going to play Lincoln without a guarantee. Wa havt teen some rare Instances of eastern musical managers out here In Omaha, and from tht specimens we have seen we are not much Impressed with them. But then what w lack they them selves make up tor. Mr. Gurlits 1 doubt less a very shrewd man, because he Is an eastern manager, but Mr. Gurlits could do no better than consult with Mr. Greu, or his representative, Mr. Strakoach, with re gard to Lincoln and Omaha. Inne today and tomorrow. Matinee both day. That 1 sufficient The program today, will Include th "Feit Overture" of Lasses, the Bach Oounod "Ave Maria," "Dan Macabre." "Kamtneaol-Ostrow" and other old-time favorite Innea isms, vocal scenes from "Faust." etc, la th afternoon. Ia the evening ther will bt tht beautiful Mlgnon overture, Parsifal music of Richard Wag ner. The vocal scene will be from "Car men" and the lighter muslo will be inter spersed. The Mendelssohn "Spring Song," arranged for wood winds, will bt a festurs. Inaes was always a good program maker, but he has takea the greatest car to present a program that will fill tha bouts j)aoada. aXuraoon. It 1s not uauallz the most propitious time for a concert and Innet has appealed to the musicians and music lovers with a tremendous program. Imagine tht Tschalkowsky overture, to- hengrln (selections therefrom), Including the "Dream," sung by Mis Frances Boy den, who was to enthusiastically praised la this column last year; the "Love" muslo and the "Magic Fire," from Die Walkure. Albertl will ting tht "Prologue" to "Pagliaccl." Do you know It? It alone It worth the price of admission. In tht evening there will be an overture. "Tri umphal," by Rubinstein, tho teeond Hun garian rhapsody ot LJsst; Gottschalk Last Hope" and scenes from "Lucia, In addition to other beautiful thing. The soloists. In addition to those men tioned, are Slgnora Adela Borghl, Slgnor Zernl and Kryl, tht cornetlst. These art red letter occasion. Tht place, Boyd' theater. Mr. Charles Hawley Keefer, pianist, will have a recital by hi pupil on Tuesday evening of this week at his residence, 8715 North Eighteenth street. Under th auspices of the Woman' alli ance of Unity church a most enjoyable musicals was given in that comfortable and pleasant edifice on Wednesday evening last. The program was arranged by a master hand and tho usual mixing together In aa Indiscriminate .manner of presentations by leading professionals and amblttoua ama teurs was on this occasion omitted. Mr. Joseph Gahm appeared as pianist and wa interpreted a composer. Hit piano number were at usual most heartily re ceived. Why were two such beautiful number placed tht first' on tht program? Just be cause tt I customary, I suppose, but It 1 a custom which should be done away with. I should think that artists who play tht piano would make a move toward abolish ing the thing. I would like to tee pro gram graded according to the musical standing of the participant as far as pos sible. Certainly It 1b not right that the biggest artist ot the bunch should "play the prelude." Nlcht war? . On this occasion also Mr. F. Hatson Wright, organtBt, appeared only at the laat. An organ "poatlude," as It were. Miss Helen Burnham sang Mr. Gahm's song "Do You Ask What tht Bird Say?" very plead ingly and gave aa an encore the "Cradle Song" of the same composer. Mr. Baumelster played In hi usual In telllgent manner and Mrs. Neely and Mr. Manchester were splendidly received. The Cecil tan quartet made an Instant hit On Shrove Tuesday, or, as the date ap peared on the program, "Mardl Gras," the people at the Sacred Heart convent were delightfully entertained by a classic recital by Mr. Joseph Gahm, pianist; Mr. Max Bau melster, violinist, and Miss Helen Burnham, soprano. Answers to correspondents: W. A. M., Lincoln, Neby Your letter doe not give any Information a to what kind of a club you and your friend are Interested In. Is It Instrumental or vocal? Is It organized with a view to the study of orchestral or choral works, or the literature of music? When you furnish me with a more detailed Idea ot what you want I shall be glad to offer yon any assistance I can. D. C. B., Culbertson, Neb. It 1 a pleaa ure to bear ot the organization of uch musical club as you are working up la tht outside town. It mean much for th fu ture of muslo in tht community. At to your questions, I would say that probably th best results will be attained by omitting the boy's voices. Unless they are very good they will not be satisfactory. I have never favored th blending of the volcea of boy and women on one part But then lot ot people do. Boy separately, or women sep arately, in my Judgment, give the best re suits. You will have to be your own Judge as to the balance ot tone. It I a good Idea to get your tenor first and then build your other parts according to their (the tenor') volume. There la no fixed rule aa to balance ot part. - You might, for in stance, get three contralto who would overbalance a dozen of sopranos. A to the name of musical selections, do you want acred or secular? Tht South tidt Maennerchor gavt Its flrt concert last week under the direction ot Mr. Charles Petersen. The club was as sisted by Mrs. Wagner-Thomas, Mr. P, Laux and Mr. Schaber, soprano, basso and tltherist, respectively. Tho genial, but hard-working organist of All Saints, Mr. Simms. declares that he "never played before the queen," but does before all the saint. I am glad to know thl of Mr. Simms. Wouldn't he play the deuce before the queen, or the king, either Young people should never play with either the king, the queen or tht Jack in front of them. It 1 rude, and then it might lead to gambling by mean of slot machine. But this la a digression. What I wanted to say wa that the All Saint musical ves per services which were to popular last Lent will bt resumed today. Mr. Hannegan of St Louis, Mo., will sing a aolo. Mr. Parthenla Neely will sing "Eye Hath Not Seen," by Gaul, and Mr. Simms will pre sent some new and interesting organ num.. bars. The choir will present two beautiful anthem. I have received from the musical library of Miss Nora McCabe, Mornlngslde, Coun cil Bluffs, a program of a concert which was given In New York on November 18, 1884. The soprano soloist was Miss Char lotto Walker, the contralto Miss Carrie Morse, the tenor Mr. Theodore Toedt, the basso Max Hetnrich, the only, the organist Mr. Walter Damrosch. and the conductor Mr. Leopold Damrosch. The work given wat "St. Paul" of Mendelssohn. THOMAS J. KELLY, Marie Swanson. Harpist. 829 8. 18th St SATURDAY MORNING MUSICALE First of Leatea gerles Given at Llaln. get Gallery Scores a access. The first of the Lenten musicals took place at the Llnlnger art gallery Saturday morning. The attendance wa good and was ot course largely made up of well known aoclety people. The musical treat afforded on this occa sion was a recital of songs by Mr. Lewis Shaw of Bt. Paul, accompaniments thereto AHUGMEJITl. f i i i ii ii a Kubelik is Coming . , being played on the piano by Mr. Rosen berger. Mr. August Mothe Borglum played two plan solos, each being aa etude, the one by Chopin and the other by Rubin stein. Tht program wa original. Instead ot "part" 1 and I, the event were pro a-rammed "first division" and "second division." The division Idea t a good one, It make the delicate suggestion of the division ot opinion as to the program's merits and the merits of the artist. Then tbert wert quotations between the titles, which were printed In red ink, and which divided the program nicely. Then at the end a quotation and sentence read, I noia It fit that wa shake hands and part," Mr, Rosenberger at tht piano. The group ot songs which occupied the second place on the program wa decidedly nrnnna tn a matinee muslcale. It bad a suggestion of a light repast. "Serenade. "Corn Flower." "The Sweetest Flower.' Mr. Shaw bad evidently read ot the action before the Omaha city council anent dogs barking by moonlight, because the last rniin enntalned these ominous titles: "A Barque at Midnight," "Still Is the Night. "Let Us Forget." Mr. Shaw has a good voice, nicely placed. or rather not misplaced, a clean enuncia tion, good breath control and Intelligent Interpretation. He Is not one of the tightly singing baritones one so often hears. His tones are free, easy and pleasing. He Is a mooA exDonent ot artistic singing. Is not this enough? It waa announced that a few minor changes would be made in regard to the next dates. The recital next week by Mrs. Genevieve Clark Wilson will take place at Mrs. George Barker's, the following one at the Llnlnger Art gallery, the next at the Herman Kountze residence and the last one at tome publio place not yet decided upon. PRATTLE OP THE YOIKGSTERS. Guest What a splendid dlnnerl Don't often get aa good a meal a this. Little Willie (son of the host) We dpn't, either. "I know what makes tha hall and snow,1 aid 4-year-old Agnes. "What darling?" asked her mother. "The angels up In heaven sweeping off the sidewalk," was the rtply. "Well, Kitty," said the caller, I hope you art atudying hard at school and trying to make something of yourself." "Ye, ma'am," Kitty replied. "But when I get to be a woman I'm going to marry some tall, handsome man named Guy. "Can anyono tell me what a meter It?" asked the "teacher of a primary clas In an Allston. Mass., school a few days ago. Only one llttlt lad raised Hi nana, ine teacher nodded, and the child said: 'It's a thing you chop meat with. My nana is a butcher and he's got two of them." Little Flossie bad been aent to the drug store to get some dyestuft and forgetting the name of it she asked: "What is tt folks dye with?" 'Oh, various things," replied the druggist "Heart failure, for Instance." , "Well," said Flossie, "I suppose that will do. Give me 3 cents' worth, please. "Willie, dear, do you know where the zero mark Is when you look at tht ther mometerT' "Yep." "Go out on the back porch, please, and look at the thermometer, and then come and tell me bow high the mercury la above the lero mark." Willie goea out and return. "Mamma, It' Just tht length of my linger nail above zero." Representative Sibley of Pennsylvania ha a beautiful bald pat. It chine with gll tening smoothness. A few day ago, relatea the Washington Post, a little girl was visiting at Mr. 81b ley' handsome home on K street A sh Bat near the congressman In the library enjoying the open fire on the big hearth funny thought seemed to strike her, for she laughed out loud. "Mr. Sibley," she said presently, "wouldn't you Ilk a rabbit painted on your head?" "Like what?" queried Mr. Sibley, aa be smiled upon hi little visitor. "A rabbit painted on your bead," re peated the youngater. "Why?" asked the Incautious Sibley. "Because," said the little one trium phantly, "It would look Ilk a hare." Don't think you have drank the ne plus ultra of wine until you have tried Cook' Imperial Extra Dry Champagne. Fatality. Chicago Tribune: "When I began busi ness," said tht plutocrat, wearily, "I made a vow that whenever I had earned an oven million I would quit" "Why, you've done that, many time f-over, long ago," aald the other man, "yet you are still accumulating." "That' th curse of It Whenever I think I've made the even million I find on figuring It up It' either a little more or a little lest and I've got to renew the strug gle." And he sighed heavily. Opea every evwalac S631 Faraaaa Street. We have Juat received a full stock of the new KdlHon Records, and they are the GREATEST SURPRISE ever made in the TALKING MACHINE WORLD. Every one ia cordially invited to call and bear these new Procese Recorda. Talking machines at all prices. iss Blanche Sorenson, VOICE CULTURE, Room 202, Boyd Theater Building. Tuesdays and Fridays. Bfl S OU THE a iMRT A MAGAa EISB U Begins its THIRD YEAR with (he MARCH NUMBER. OUT TODAY. It has BEATEN ALL RECORDS ot magazine publish ing la Brilliant, strong, thoroughly entertaining noTelettes. Charming variety, perfect literary finish, pleasurable diverting Interest of la hundreds of clever short stories. Essays, human in theme, vigorous. Incisive, clean-cut, commanding thought and leaving Impression. Verse, pure, delightful. Sketches, aphorisms, witticisms and Jokee that sparkle literary diamonds. Physical production excellence of paper, printing and binding, tasteful cover. Unparalleled list of contributors, Including from both hemispheres the brightest ' men and women of the liter ary and social world. x Some of them are: , , FIRST SECOND THIRD FOURTH FIFTH SIXTH -SEVENTH - Jullen Gordon, (Mrs. Van RenHtielner Cruaer), Caroline Duer, The Countess of Warwick. Elizabeth Duet, Richard Le Galllenne Gertrude Atherton, Rev. Braddln Hamilton, Edgar Fawcctt. Charles O. I. Roberts, Clinton Snollard, Barry Pain, Raroneps von Hutten, Gelett Burgess, Countess Loveau de Cha vanne, R. K. Munklttrtok. John Regnault Ellyson, Huffleld Osborne, Josephine D. Daskarn, Rden PhlllpotU, i Molly Klllot Sea well, Guy Wetmore Carryl, Kdlth Sessions Tupper, Kate Masterson, Ethel Watts Mumford, Justus Miles Kormnn, Mrs. Burton Harrison, Mrs. Poultney Blgelow, Mrs. "William Allen. M. E. W. 8herwoot H C. Chatrleld-Taylor, Elgar Baltus, Katrina Trask, Mrs. Stephen Crane, Bliss Carman, Julian Hawthorne, Ella Wheeler Wilcox. Edward 8. Van ZUe. Prince Vladimir Vantatsk) Among these are many whose work you love to read. Borne of them will bt found In. every number of this magazine, the prodigious success . of which has caused the publishing world to acclaim It simply A MARVEL. LAST AND OB ST Nmber of readers entertained, lighted, charmed, satisfied devoted friends all over the world where English is read. Tell your newsman always to reserve & copy for you, or ask him to l?w.ard to us your annual subscription, which he will gladly do. We make NO "special offers," have NO club rates. Each number of THE SMART BET Is worth doubla tht price 2S cents. If you have read it you know this to be true If you have not read It, buy a number and you will know It to be true. THE MARCH NUMBER, OUT TODAY, CONTAINS: ARABY (Leading; Novelette), m . THE GAIETIES OF PARIS, - . THE PENANCE OF HEDWIG, - . ' WHKH WHIG MET TORY IX) NO AGO, -A LITTLE HIPPER IN SAN FRANCISCO. DAPHNE, - ... A WOMAN OF IDEALS, . THE PRINCESS, - . , . " And Forty-One Other Blamed Contrlbntlont. Send NOW your subscription for one year, $3.00- Remit In cheque, postofflce or express money order or registered letter addressed to ESS ESS PUBLISHING CO., 1135 Broadway, New York. r AMUSEMENTS. BOYD'S 1 WoodsdTt grsess THIS AFTERNOON AND NIGHT. MONDAY MATINEE AND NIGHT INNES BAND to people. Including- France Boyden, Albertl. Zernl. Kryl and BORQHI. th Italian "Carmen," In. scenes from grand opera (not In costume.) The great anvil chorus. Price Mat. 25c, Wc, 75c. Night 25c, 60c, 75c. $1.00. TELEPHONE 1631. WEEK COMMENCING Sunday Mat., Feb. IG. Catherine Bloodgood Queen ot Song. Auer's Rag Pictures Art in the Rag Bag. Marie Dupont & Go. In "Th Crimson Mask." Eva Mudge Charming Soubrette. The Rozinos Comedy Acrobats. Three Vestons Musical Entertainers. Faust Sisters Terpslchoresn Artists. The Kinodrome With the Latest Moving Pictures. Every Night. Prices lOe, 25o and BO. - ill OF CLBTBRRBII Alfred Henry Lewis, Martha MoCuUoch-Williams, Albert Blgelow Paint, Theodosla Garrison, Clement Bcott, Max Pemberton, Madison Caweln, Clinton Rosa, Harriet Prescott Bpoftord, Frank Roe Batcheider, Carolyn Wells, Charles Rattell Loomla, Vance Thompson, , I Onoto Watanna, t I.loyd Osbourne, Paul iAtirenoe Dunbar, John B. Tabb, Milan Bell, Frank Dempster 8herman, Charles Stokes Wayne. ds- By Baroness von Hutten By Edarar Salt as By Lilian Bell By Alfred Henry Lewis By Gelett Bararese By Bliss Car nan By Kate Jordan - - By Justus Miles Farm am 4 Performances STARTING THURSDAY David Belasca's Komaatls Drama, A Marvel of Statecraft! Strong Situational Exciting- Cllmaaoel Novel Belfry Seeaol Price Matinee 2Bc, 60c. Night. ZSc, (Oo, 76c. 11.00. Miaco's Trocadero MATINEE TOliAY-lOe. SOa. Entire Week. Including Saturday Kveninav WITHOUT AN EQUAL. - the- "In Gay Paris Buries Nliasa II LIKB OLD WINK-A RARE TREAT ii x wo aurieaques written Especially for Thl Com pany, Entitled ''A HOT TIME" MATINEE PRICES 10. COLD SHOULDER" 20c SMOKE IP YOU LIKE I-arge Chorus, Living Pictures, Pretty Girls From Ever OH me. Who They Ar ' n r . it u. ivu aj i ne wth Century Coon. THE HiRSC'H HORNS, . Swiss Warbler. NOVELLO, The Human Snake. HINTSON and KR1SCO, European Novelty Act. E VAN'S. lEVEES "nd EVANS, The Eastern Stars. DALTON and HO VLB, Seenes From Ark an nas. EMMKTT and POKTEK, EVENINQ PRICES 10. 20 30c SMOKE IP YOU LIKE Two H)iowh 'n a 1 1 v uaiiun o.veiung :is Telephone 2( There are good seats left but you will miss setting your favorite il you do not telephone In Unit. Matinee 2:16. Evening 1:15 Mr. Kelly's Studio Is now reopened (or th sea son ot 1902. Student received. Ton production. Art staging. STl'DlOl 1802 Farnam, Daildgi Biict