Gleanings from the Story Tellers' Pack
V T1IK hnnUot tendered Am- never hiiw 11 middur crowd of Scotchmen.
basBitdor Choato by tho Lotus 'They thought it it rollcctiou on tlio national
club, Now York, Mark Twain enstumo of tint earl, who hail dnno tho
worked olt UiIh Btnry : diners tho honor to appear In It. Well, Tour
"A linn of Inwyers-wo'll Hay jours havo paused slnco then anil now tho
C'hoato was one of tho members earl regards that ns n Joke and tells It nt
tho linn, tho other partner being least once a day, .105 days In tho year."
Mr,
of
u Hebrew, Mr.
wcro talkliiK
Choalo's eo-reHponilent
one ilay over tho
Tho torn ami tattered remnant of n con-
elofl j
olnncl
ti.t.l ,..1.1 lt.,.1 link i,iiiitmii1l,ifr irmtri
Choato said: 'You'd better let .no attend , ,.lf,pcctln" on
to that.' Ami tho next .lay Mr. Choato ,,,,, ,,.,, ,,.,' r n,i,n-
nmount they would charge, a client for rf(.Uwul ()110 imy, towar(, tho t.lofl
their Borvlees-sorvleos In what they call I . wn ,lnC(, ,
Tho Hebrew drew up a bill for $M)0 ami Mr. . ... .. ,.,..,., Lmr:
hamleil him u check for K,000, saying:
That's your Hharo of the loot.' Then this ,, Sun,
numiiio iionrow gciiuoimm in iiuiiiu .iium
Ha lil: 'AlmoHt thou persuadest mo to bo-
eomo u Christian,' Ami tho world said
following day. Tho soldiers were million-
Ishod to "do their prettiest," relates the
"Just braco up as though your clothes
vcro brand new' uniforms and ns though
This is n rising man. Wo must savo him V " " tn nn.l plenty
from tho law. llo should be a diplomat.' "f haven't any bugles left but
Tho world looked beneath this anecdote " "" ' ' v. "
and reasoned that a man who could thus ''' ' "'"V Imrrol. Now.
take care of his private Interests could well ?' ' Z"ot
look after tho commercial Intoiests of u
growing country of 70.000,000.
you let her go for nil site's worth." Thus
fpoko tho colonel
Tho next day tmo tho genornl to "In-
s spect" tho poor, half-starved fighters, and
At thu sumo gathering Senator Depow to'.d ns ho appenrci' In tho distance tho colonel
a Btory that was about n dinner given In gnvo tho order to "lino up." As tho coin
New York boiuo years ngo to tho earl of mnndlng olllcrr drow near tho colonel
Aberdeen, governor general of Canada and shouted, "Now, Smith, let her ko!" and
head of the Clan (lordon. The earl attended turned to dilute tho genornl.
In full regalia, "tho wearing of which," itiit not a noto camo from tho big barrel
said tho senator, "consists of leavlitK off drum,
tumu artlcteu of ilrens wo deem quite cs- Tho colonel, red In tho face, turned to-
sentlal. At tho dinner" bo continued, ward tho drummer nnd again shouted his
"1 nut on tho earl's right. Choato was next order fur "music."
to mo. Just nfter tho carl seat ml himself Hut still tho drum remained ns mute as
Choato whispered to me: 'Chnuncoy, nro ho harp of Turn's hall fame.
Aberdeen's legs really tmro?' I raised tho Infuriated nt this open dleochdlcncc of
tablecloth cautiously and gnvo that scratch orders, and In tho prosonco of tho com-
that all Scotchmen appreelato and said: mnndlng otllcer, too, tho colonel rode down
'Yes, Joe, they are.' When Choato got up to tho lino, nnd, ns hp reached the rcfrnctory
tpeak ho said: '(.entlenien, my Invitation drummer, cried out:
did not convey to mo tho Information that "Sny. Smith, whnt In nnd do you
tho earl of Aberdeen wns to bo horo tonight menu by not boating that hlnukcty-hlnnk
In full resnlla, If I had known it I would dium?"
havo left my trousers nt home.' Woll. von "I can't, colonel," whispered Smith,
"The old drum W full of chickens nnd half
of 'em are for you."
The eolrnel paused but a moment beforo
lu shouted so that tho general nnd tho
soldiers might hear:
"All right. Smith, but If you wore too
sick to play tho drum, why In nnd
didn't you sny so?"
One day Inst week, relates tho San Frnn
clseo Wnve, n Uerkoley student In ono of
I'rof. L, Dupont Sylo's classes camo Into
thu recitation room so Into that tho Kngltsh
teacher mado n mild remonstrance nt the
extreme tardiness of tho young man.
"I'rofessor," replied tho young fellow In
excusing himself, "my watch wns slow. I
tdiall havo no faith In It nfter this."
"My dear follow," said Sylo, "what you
need Is not faith, but works,"
When Fltzhugh Leo wns govornor of
Virginia, relates tho Saturday Evening I'ost,
lie responded to nn Invitation to attend n
reunion of voternns In ono of tho cities of
Florida, llo went to n fashlonnblo hotel,
expecting to hnve to pay n fancy prlco for
accommodations, but not prepared for tho
staggering rates ho found framed on the
door of his npnrtments,
"I wns not, nt that time, In n position to
Incur extrnvngant expenses," be says, "nnd
tho only way thnt I could seo out of my
predlcnmcnt wns to go to tho clerk nnd
statu thnt nn unexpected matter of pressing
Importance demanded my Immcdlato return
to Hlchmond. This progrnin I carried out,
nnd then, brnclng myself, nsked how much
my bill wns.
"'Your bill?' snld tho hotel man. 'Why,
you don't owo us nriythlng, It's np honor for
this hotel to hnvo tho govornor of Virginia
ns n guest nnd wo could not think of nc
ceptlng pny from you.' "
"No, thero wnsn't 'much romnnco nbout
Kphrnlm, snld the postmaster, stroking his
benrd thoughtfully Kphrnlm hnd been tho
grent man of tho town, relates Youth's
Companion, nnd his death thu day beforo
had cnlled out reminiscences to which tho
postmnster seemed anxious to contribute.
"I don't B'poso If you'd tilled Kphrnlm or
put him under tho stono breaker you could
hnvo drawn n tenr out of him. Never saw
him lnugh. Likely enough ho never kissed
his wife or ono of his children.
"And yet ho wasn't n hard man. I cnl'lato
ho often cried or laughed Inside, but 'twas
n't his way to show It. And ho wns n nat-urnl-born
business man, up nnd down, top
to too, nnd thnt pnrtly nccouuts for It, too.
"IVyo ever hear how ho popped to Aunt
Eleanor, his wlfo? Happens I know, because
sho nnd my wlfo was cousins, nnd tho por
secdln' tickled Kleanor so't sho hail to tell
of It.
"Kphrnlm wnsn't over n tnlltntlvo feller,
nnd ho didn't go nround much with tho
other young folks. Jest stayed home nnd
tended to his knlttln' work, ns it ware, but
ho wns well thought of by everybody nnd
Klennnr and her pa nnd ma nlways mado
him welcome.
"So ho enmu In sort o' ensual ono p'tlc'lnr
Snt'day night nnd snt nround ns usual,
puttlu' In n word now and then till Kleanor's
pa went out to see a sick cow ho had nnd
Eleanor's inn started off up chamber somo
wheres, And then Kphrnlm spenks up nil nt
onco nnd ho says:
" 'I'd kind o' llko to marry you, Kloanor,'
snys he.
"'Sho!' says she. 'Would yo?' Sho was
dumbfounded nnd couldn't think of any
thing clso to say.
" 'Yes, I would,' says he. Ho novor moved
out of his chair, but ho looked her right
squnro In tho eyo, real friendly. Tvo got n
placo o' my own, yo know rented, but I can
tako It back 'most nny time nnd J230
out on Interust, and enough besides to stock
the placo, I mako yo nn offer,' ho snys, 'nnd
I'll hold It open for yo till next Safday
night."
"Elennor was stnrln' at him nil tho tltno
mind ye, with her mouth open, And beforo
sho could get nny word to put Into It. 'It's
time I wns gotttn along homo,' Ephrnlm
says, 'so I'll bid yu good night, Elennor.
"Woll, that wns nil thero wns to it.
First off, Kleanor wns ,mnd nt his raakln nn
offer so-fashion, nn' leavln' It open Jdst
ecch n time, 's though ho'd been dlckcrln'
for n yoke of steers. But when sho camo to
think It over eho realized It was only Eph
rnlm's wny nnd sho believed ho llkod her,
nnd sho know sho liked him, nnd bo sho
took him up, nnd neither of 'cm wns ever
sorry for it.
"No, Ephraim didn't mako ho romantic
no gettlu' down on his knees nnd wrltln'
poetry and scch-llko (loin's. Hut If you
over ecu n woman belter pervlded for and
moro upllftid nnd moro wnltcd on by Inches
than Aunt Elennor wns, I'd llko to havo yo
p'lnt her nut,
"Actions spcnlc loudcr'n words, they sny,
nnd I cnl'lato Hint's true. Thoro's women
In this town would bo wlllln' to forgot thoy
wns married if they could bo treated llko
li u inn n beta's now."
It wns n long rldo througn a desnlnto nnd
dangerous country, reports tho Philadelphia
North Amcrlcnn, nnd tho politician sought
to relievo tho monotony by philosophic
musings on his recent victory nnd embar
rassments thnt even success brings.
"Hold up your hands!"
Tho stngu coach gavo n lurch nnd stopped.
Tho rny of light thnt shot Into tho vehlclo
turned tho spaterlng rnln Into myrlnds of
evnncsccnt gerns.
"What do you wnnt?" nsked tho politT
clan, with n firmness that showed thnt he
had faced danger before.
"Your money."
"Hero It Is,"
"Your wntch nnd dlnmond ring."
"They nro yours."
"I must sny yor good-natured, anyhow,"
said ono of tho highwaymen.
"Not nt nil. Aro you suro Hint's nil you
drelre?"
"What In thunder did you think wo
wanted?"
"I was nfmld" nnd tho polltlclnn's volco
trembled n little "you wanted nn omco."