i mmmmim ' i mi mow era phmhbbmhbhh ir i
-rtir, ' rpi iiiii ! nil f if' 7C3.' .' '
fTSTOllY Is t old nf a plljsicmn ill
t'liltm who hud mismanaged "
family seized lilm ami tli'il lilm
up. Init In tlio night ln munngod
In froo himself ami escnpod by sw limning
a river, which cut off pursuit.
Wliun lu reached homo liu found Ills son,
who IiiiiI Just begun to Bt tidy medicine,
poring over IiIh books. Ilo wrung out Ills
wot clothes mid. turning to (liu student,
wild gravely:
"My hod, ilnn'i liu In a hurry with your
liooKs; tho first and most Important thing
Is to Irani how to bin Imi."
An old 1 1 1 a 1 1 1 1 1 1 - who had It noun Oovoruor
Taylor of TonnosBio. from his childhood
came Into IiIh olllco and began nt onco to
plfinl for tho pardon of her huslinml. who
was thi'ii 111 prison, reports tho Louisville
Com lor-Journnl.
"I.iiwh liri'ss yo' life, Marjo lloli." sho be
gan, "I wlsht you'd pnlulon tint pi' olo nig
guh Jim. Ilo ain't no good for nulllu' no
wliar. Ilo Jes' dut usolcss an' trlllln', ovon
at homo, diit liu calm do no mo' don sorter
iicrapo uroun' an' Kit a little, sotnpen for
wo-iill to ont, an' he sholy ain't no good
down dar In tint pen."
"I can't do It aunty," tho governor s.ild
"I am bolng abused every day Whit's Jim
Gleanings from the Story Tellers' Pack
In there for?" ho naked, seeing tho llttlu
light that wan left dying out of the old
woman's eyea.
"Wy Mnrso Hob, dey Jes' put him
In dar fur iiullln' 'pen earth 'cop' lekln'
one po' little ham outon Mr. Smith's smoke
house. We outen meat, an' do ole nigguh
didn't do iiullln' 'cop' tek do ham fur ter
keep wo-all film slnrvln'."
"Well, now, suppose I should pinion Jim,
what good would that do you? Ilo Is so
ornery and trilling." ttto governor was spy
ing, when tho old woman broke In with tho
reply:
"W'y brojs you, Mnrso Hob. wo Is outen
meat agin an' wo Jes' got to havo anothah
ham!"
Arehblshnp Ityaii of riiihulelphla Is
Known throughout his diocese as a wit. A
Columbia, freshiuaii who halls from Wash
ington was accompanied by his mother
when ho caiuo to New Yolk to matricu
late at the university. On their way north
they stopped nt I'hlliulelplila and called
upon tho archbishop, who Is an old friend
of tho family, relates tho Now York Times.
"So )ou thought It necessary to come on
with our son?" Archbishop Hyan said to
the lady In the course of their conversa
tion, "Yes, Indeed, 1 want to see lilm Installed
5
In a house that Is properly kept, and to see
that his room Is conveniently Bltuated to
the tire escapes," replied tho mother.
"Well, now, I take It that tho other fire
escapo is not too far away," said tho arch
bishop, smiling.
"I don't understand," said the puzzled
lady.
"I mean tho church," replied his grace.
When Father Mat hew, the great Irish
temperinco leader, was In tho height of his
successful labors, relates Youth's Com
panion, bo endeavored to convert I,ord
llroiigh.ini to teetotnllsm. Hrougham ad
mitted that he drank wine, but pleaded
that his use of the stimulant was most
moderate.
One night at a dinner party Father
Mathew amused the company by pinning
tho green ribbon and silver medal of tho
Abstinence society on Ilrougham's coat.
"I'll toll you what I'll do." said
llrougham, "I'll take the ribbon to the
llouso of Lords, whoro I shall find old
I.ord -, nnd I'll pin It on him."
This announcement was received with
shouts of laughter, for tho noblo lord In
question was famous for the extent of his
potations. However, Hrougham carried out
bla promise, and, meeting the gentleman a
few evenings later, said "I have a
present for you from Father Mathew," at
tho same time swiftly slipping the badge
and medal over his head.
"Thank you," said the peer quietly, "and
now I'll tell you what It is, llrougham, I'll
keep sober from this night."
Tho best part of the story is that ho
lived up to his word, greatly to tho amaze
inent of his friends nnd to tho delight of
Father .Mathew.
Daniel Hengan. chief clerk of tho Hoard
of Public Works, relates the Milwaukee
Sentinel, was deeply Immersed In n long
string of figures which told the story of
the number of linear feet there wero In a
certnln piece of street work In process of
accomplishment, when thero came a soft,
sweet voice on his off sldo:
"I'leaso buy a War Cry, sir."
"What th' hcll-oween. do I. What will
I do with a War Cry?"
Tho chief clerk's frown faded Into a
broad smllo and his eyes sparkled as ho
turned them upon tho modest little Salva
tion Army lasslo that stood at his elbow
holding out a paper. It was momentary,
however. Tho frown returned and ho ap
plied himself to his figures,
"Please, sir, I wnnt to make a Christian
of you,"'
"Well, get out your plans and specWca-
tions," grullly responded the absent-minded
Daniel.
Tho other employes of tho olllco broke
forth Into a peal of laughter.
"Oh, yes. I forgot. 01 vo all these
heathens n Wnr Cry," exclaimed tho chief
clerk, coloring to tho roots of his hair and
handing tho girl a half dollar.
While addressing John D. Ilockcfellcr's
hlbio clnsj at tho Fifth Avcnuo HantlBt
church Hooker T. Washington said that In
organizing the Tuskegco institute lack of
funds made it necessary to use some rather
dilapidated structures as school bulldlncs.
An old negro employed about the place was
iiih L I uuii'u iiv .nr. ns ri in pinn rnn tiinftin
w.,t iivnt.j ,iii-i,j iiii;ii nao vo
bo used for school purposes.
"You must be n stranger around hero,
boss," remonstrated tho old darky, "to
want that henhouso cleaned out by day
light. Charles Major, thf nuthor of "When
Knighthood Was In Flower," was compelled
to admit recently that ho had been cleverly
trapped by a Toledo lasslo of tender years.
Mr. Major spent tho summer at Petnsky,
Mich., relates the Saturday Evening Post.
So did the littlo Toledo f,'-, Th author,
IC'ontlnued on Eighth Pago.)