Tur. Iixi;stkati:i Bi:i;.
Published Weekly by The llci: I 11 1 1 ! I M 1 1 1 r l .-t
Coinp.Hi, lire Building, Omaha, Neb.
Price, Go per I'upy pur your, 12 00
Kntered lit tin' Otnuhii I'ostollloo in Second
CIiish Mull Matter.
Por advertising rules nddrcss publisher.
('omtniiiili'iilliiMH robttlng to photograph or
irllclc.i for publication t-houlil In- .id
ilrrHni'il "I'Mllur Tliu Illuxtiiitcil II ,
Oiimliii "
Pen and Picture Pointers
Among other i I'lilinrlt Ioh cif I'ti'NliI -lit
Itnos'ivclt Im 111 unwillingness to In' phn
tcgrapltld. N'h mini Iiiih boon iik ie persist
ently sought )' On' puslii'iH u( Imiiiiuih mid
iqueiuorH of 1 ' 1 1 1 - ii;iii lie and lid liliill bus
II II III TT op IlitOKPN HOW WHO II s
IIHHN MADIS SI PI'ltlNTHNDP.NT Oh'
SCHOOLS IN Ill'A.M
motu c (HlHiMitly declined io have nnv
thing to tin with tlii'in. Ilu Iiiih during the
Inst ten years lii'i'ii more grosly ami
malignantly caricatured than nnv other
lllllll III public life. Prom the time he (.nil.
Id Hie very front ux one of New Yolk
pollco Dill til I - Ml ii in I M one of the men wtio
gavo tliu great in' I ropollH n renllv lion .
mill ellleletil government until today the
men who ilni for the nppnsit Ion or h
have delighted III oxuggornt I ni; the faelil
diameter 1st Irs of the primdmt in th
writer have ! lighted l,i exaggerating ns
ii'.eiitnl mill pir-niiiiil i mi 1 1 f leu Id n m Mnnv
people have iIiiih lieep mlHleil iiiih tiling
Mr. Itnosovclt. TIiom ' who himu him omler
Miami how eruel have been the mixrcpr
Ki'titatlotiH of a partisan preHH In dealing
wllh t til h nan We of Hie went Know him
llllrly well. He llllH heen atunt.g us hn
eiilen our lireiel n ml Halt, hax llveil our lift
Mini knowx of IiIh own knowledge what hi
many of llx fellow citizens of New York
ran nevei omprehenil. TIiIh 1h whv The
llee tills week reproillli'i'H the ilit lire willed
wax taken hy Mr Hoxtwlek down In Kan
huh one morning In the early summer nf
liiiiu. Mr I'.noxovclt wax on lil-c wav In
iiklahotua (hen to nlleml a reunion of ih
ii vn try reylitictit of whleh lie wax eolonel
al the I'loxo nf the Spanish war -the fauio'iH
Hough Itlilerx He hint not vet heen Humi
liated for vlee president. In the picture he
xliowx wllh the xlmple dignity of American
inatili'Kiil, xtniiillng nt Hie rear of the train,
without attetupl at pose, merely waiting
for the nrtlHt In xnap the xlilltter. No hel
ler picture of Theodore Itooxevelt Inn ever
lieen taken
Nehraxka'H soldier hoyx cot a rattier
ilmnp, colli welcome to Omaha, hut It onine
altogether frntn the weather. The people
took every opportunity to xhow their In
terext In the National (Sunril, and Hie few
hoiirx of sunshine that were allowed during
Hie time of ihe cainp found groat erowdx
at l''ort Omalia to watch the drills and Ihe
routine of camp life. The veloriinx of th
guard and there were many out -did not
mini! Hie had weather, lint It wan rallier
rough on (he youngsters who were out fo
the llrxt time These were given a most
vividly practical lexxon in the hardships
mid luconveulenrex of a soldier's life. In
THE ILLUSTRATED
HON It Sl'ISNCIS ill'' MOT. NT AY It.
ni:w riiAiitMAN op Tin: iowa iti:-
I'flll.U'AN STATU CISNTItU. COMMIT-
ti:i:
point of attendance, getieinl Interext shown
and results accompllxhed tin) encampment Ix
ald to he away the hest ever held In Ne
braska. All the Nehraxka xcliooluia'amx did noi
no to Hie rtilllpplncH, a fact attested by
Hie handsome group recently phutogrnpho I
at l!i iirvii. It was Hie occasion of the
mooting of the county Institute, conducted
by Superintendent C. Smrha. Jr. Ne
braxka'.s place at the head of tliu states In
the matter of education, the census show
ing that this xtnte has the lowest per
ceutiiKO of Illiterates In the union, Is one
of which all Its cltlenx are proud, and
none worn more so than the school teach
ers This place hax hern won by the wlll-
IllK co-operation or parenis ami leiicaers,
the eat of the one beltiK aided by the will
ingness of the other to foot Hie hills. When
llr. (ioorKo K. Maclean was Installed ns
chancellnr of the Unlveivity of Nebraska he
called attention In his luaiiKural address to
EE.
tho fact that It Is possible In Nebraska for
a pupil to ko through fchool from tho
kitiilcrKnrlen to tho nlmteenth Rrndc tho
doKree of doctor with no expense save
that of board and clothes. In tills lies the
xircimth of tho Hate's school system. lMu
eatloti Is not only thoti ukIi, hut Is abso
lutely free Nowhere are the chlldteu af
forded better opportunity to receive com
petent Instriii lion than ili;ht here In Ne
braska. new minister cf the kdhpoI will bo for
mally welcomed to Omnha today, when Hev.
Philip (!. Havldson will be Installed as
rector of St. Matthias' parish with the
rl'uallstlo pro lure of the Protestant
Mplsiop.'il ihurcli. Itev. Davidson wax
born In 1 s In Carth.ii.'o, 111., and before
enterlni; tho ministry was env'ai;ed In vari
ous parts of the country In newspaper
work lie Is a Kraduiite of tho Western
Theological seminary In Chlcauo mid has
been etiKHKid 111 elllllch votk III ChlrnRO.
Havana, 111., Canyon City. Colo, and
Macon. Mo. While In Macon Itev. Mr.
H.ivldsou wax Insttumetital In caitslt.i; the
purchase of a rectory for the parish and
bonlnnliiK the erection of ii now church
St. Matthias' parish possesses one of the
mi st beautiful church rdlllcos In the wosi
and a devout and etiernelle i oiiKi oKailon
Piof. II. II. Hlatt, who will sin .'I'luteuil
tho eilucatliitial work III tho Island of (iiuim
Is a product of Iowa and Nebtnska When
appointed to Ills ptesi 111 position lie was
ptlticlpnl of Ihe schools al SarKoni. Ctnior
cotinty. Previous to that he had boon con
nectcd with t lit schools of llroken How and
hold tho position of cnuut.i superintendent
of Custir county, lie Is a uraduate of Hie
Iown State university and betore reinovim:
to Nebraska was lilentllleil with lite lire
paratory school for the Iowa uiilversilv
I'Tfteen-yi ar-old HI villa Howe of Omaha
Is probably the youimest actively cmid md
stenographer in tho I'tiltod Sialo There
may bo outiKor ones piofixxhiK lite title
of stenographer, but few If nnv of Miss
Howe's ane are competent to enter Into the
liusv. everyday whirl of business actlvltv
She la a typical child of the west, holm: a
native of Cheyenne, Wyo Her education
Septi'lulnM' 'J'J. HM)1
was obialned in this city She i a Jni.li
tor of John I). Howe of army hcidiiuarter.
lion. It. II Spence of Mount Ayr. la., th '
newly elected chairman of the republican
xtnto central committee. Is a lawyer i f wld.
experience and more than ordinary abllli
llu was born In Henry county. Illinois
In 1S.12. Ills parents removed to lnwa when
ho wns three months of nue. He has beeti ,
resident of the state ever since In 1S7J
he locnted In Klnuuold county, and in is? ,
commenced the practice of law in Monti'
Ayr, havltm' uraduated the same vi ar In in
the law department of the Iowa State titn
vorslly. lie has been county nttomej two
terms, and ax u member of the tlrui of
Henry Spetice won many notable and
Important eases, lie was a dolomite to
th- St. I.ouls national republican i nven
tloti In lv!' and his loin- iieeti pt'omlto nt in
politics He has feplc si nteil tin- Hinhtli
cotiuressli-nal district n the riu .eniral
cntnmltloc during the past f-ur v.iirs, his
election as hairuiaii of ihm In d tipiorrlm.
two weeks nK()
i:i-vina howi: a YotTiii'ii, sti:n-
OC.HAPIIKIt.
Selections from the Story Tellers' Pack
JN 'I'lli: niouutuliiH of llerks county.
Pennsylvania, whole Hutch shrewd
ness matchoH Hutch thrift, the pro
prietor of a hotel wax hai'Kalului; for u
u Hitpply of chickens, relates Yoilth'B
Companion.
"Now, look here, Krcil," Slid the hot.-l
man fatiilllarly to the fanner, "don't vou
feed them chickens bcfoio you brlliK 'em
here, and don't you let 'em K't wot."
"All 1'lnhl. Charlie," xabl the fanner, "but
1 don't want to see 'em mo hungry."
"That'H all ilitlit. I'red. but 1 ain't n
paylu' tl! ceiitx a pound for corn and I
ain't u-buyln' waler at the same rule."
"All rlnht. Ch.ulle, and I'll IuIuk my
xiales nloliK."
"No need of that. I'lcd; I've not Kood
scalm horo."
They parted iiud I asked Hie hotel man
Jiixl what ho uieatit.
"Oh, Kred'H all rlKht." ho s lid. "He's one
of tho squarext men alive, but all the Rime
I ain't n-payltiK live wolnlil for chlckenx
xtillTed full of wet coin and with wel
fentherx. Hut don't mlxunderxtntid mo.
I'Ved'H ii siiuare man."
I walked down to Prod's farm lie was
jolly and xuilliUK. "Charlie's a lino fellow."
ho said, "one of the siiiarost incti In the
county, hut I'm KoIiik to take them scales
all tliu same."
"Tho late Kiikimid I'Meld wax notoriously
Impiovlili'iit, Ills chronic liard-uiuiesx belui;
a sort of byword ainoiiK Ills liitlmatoi."
said an obi friend of the poet recently to a
New York Times man "Hut he mntiaKod
to Kct a Kood deal of fun himself out of
the paucity of his own resources.
"Once at one of those Hoiul-publlc func
tions held In a saloon, where every iniiti Is
a host who Iiiih the price and every mall a
KUest who Iiiih the tlilr-it. I'Meld as usual
went broke There happened to be a
haimer-on In the crowd, one of those whoso
considerable ambition Is to say tho have
shaken hands and lunched kIiihhos Willi a
celebrity. CalllllK the poet to olio side he
said- 'Now I hope you'll take no offense
but I understood ou to say you had run
short of moiioy If that is true I would
bo Kind to oIiIIko yon with a ten.'
" 'How dare you.' snapped I'Meld. alTecllui!
Kreat Indignation 'I don't oven know M ill'
name.'
" 'Iti'K oui' piitdon a thousand Hiuih'
loxpondod the other, 'I meant no offense I
. KSitre yiU 1 thniiKht maybe vou mlulii
l o able to use ihe money Please forget M '
"I'leld wax silent for a moment as if In
deep thought and then slowlv drawled
"'l''ornnl II' All rli;ht: I will on one
condition.
" 'On what condition "
" 'On condition that you make It tlf
teen.' "
Wit Thulium. Ills excellency, the Chinese
minister, on one occasion listened with In
louse npprovnl and much Industry cf
thniiKht to William (llllctte's perfornintico
of his own play, "Secret Service." and asked
In reverenHal courtesy to be presented 1 1
the ai'tor-author.
Into Mr. 'Cillleite's four-hy-slx inik-wltlio
drefsltiK rnom "crowded his excellency and
his KUlte, nil liowltm Kracefullv and unrnll
Iiik their little tan hands from silk sleoios
in ho chiHpixl In lilllelte's llrni American
urasp
"Do you work this way every nlnlit for
many tteeliH'- asked the diploma!, driving
a idercliiK kIiuico al Mr (illloite
"Yen, many tnoiitliH, ami years If pcop'e
will Miami It," iptoth Sir William of Man
hattan "How di you make this sort of a play
so ln.'iini Iful a xtory not Intorefereil with
In tiny way by the characters?"
To tills question Mr. (iillcttc could u d
unfold mi Impromptu drama recipe, mi he
took refuel) In the uuiIiuhIi of the special
(3 1 1 lotto wit In Its solemn v in of b ylshness,
and answered:
"Tho bext way Ix to write your play llrxt.
ami then chuck In the characters where
they do the least harm."
An actor In the vaudeville tells tho fol
lowing x'ory In the Clipper on a certain no
tor of piomliiciico who happened to be illn
ItiK in a restaurant where those of his posi
tion nuil pretensions were seldom seen one
of those places where people of small meniib
and no stylo take their modest meals.
Tho vandovlllaln sat at the next table and
overheard Ihe order kIvcii by his profes
sional brother, whom he knew by sIkIiI
only.
The colored waller listened attentively
and wax obnu'ved to blink his eyes saine
wluit doubtfully when the Kticst ordered
"llsh vlth tartar sauce," but without ipics
tlonltiK wont on ahsorbitiK the rest of the
order.
In due cnuiHo of I lino he served the llsh
hut hroUKht no sauce.
"Whore's that tartar sauce'" demanded
tho actor.
"I don't know nothln' 'bout dat sauce, suh
-I spects I'll haf to auk do boss, suh." and
tho tnyxtltled darky swtini; olT toward the
diwk, where, nfter a few words wllh the
proprietor, he came hack with a bottle of
Worcestershire xauce and put It on tho
l a hi f. xayltiK'
"Do boss so ax how wo aln'l putt In on
no Delmonbo iIok in ills yer part o' town
nn' dat's de tartist sauce wo'x not, suh."
A very well known lawjer and his wife
were In London this summer, and the wife
had to he operated on for appeudlclti' as
soon a x xho arrived. They wore ureut
ftlendx of Mr. Chotilo, and t ho atnbaxsaib r
sent at once to Inquire of her condition ami
kept her room supplied with Unworn
Tho llrsi day the wax able to walk i ill
husband and wife met the aiuh.ix'iidi r on
tho street. Mr Choate nulckly Jutnpid fr.tn
his hansom and Joined them with eat;or
protestatlous of delight at ineetim; his
friend iiKaln.
lie warmly shook both the hands of his
comrade and ankod a doen questions nboul
his health, his address and his probable
stay In London. The wife, who had been
KtnndlliK by waltliiK for her turn, Dually
said with a pout, "Why, Mr. (Mtoate. you
don't tnke any notice of me You haven't
spoken a word to me yet I really bcllevo
you have forgotten mo."
"My dear madam." said Mr Choate. "I
must court's that I did ml roniKliIri' you
w Ithotit your npp"iid."
A poor Scotch woman la dyli'K and liet
husband n li her bedside rotitos London
Spare Moments After a time the wife took
In r husband's hand and Bald.
"John, we're now in' to pari. I have been
a Kudu wife to you. haven't I?"
John thought a moment.
"Well, just tulddlltiK like Jenny, you
know," anxious not to say too much.
Analll Ihe wife spoke.
"John," she said faintly, "50 maun
promise to bury me in the auld kirkyard at
Str'avon beside my tulther. I enuld na rest
In peace amotiK unco' folk In tho dirt ami
xtnoko o' (ilaxHow."
"Wool, weel, Jenny, my woman," said
John, xcothitiKly, "we'll Just try ye In Olax
Kow llrst, an' nln ve dlnmi he unlet we'll
try yo In Str'avon."
Storlex of yankee xhtowdness have al
ways been widely circulated, but when
one nets ahead of a yankee there Is vcr
Utile said about II. especially on the part
of the man from the north. Several days
nun. relates the Memphis Scltultcr, a hotel
keeper at a small station on one of tho
roads running out or Memphis put Ihe
laugh on a drummer from the north In a
very mind way and the travelltm man wax
compelled to beat a hasty retreat. The
drummer arrived at the hotel about S
o'clock In the evenliiK mid fearliiK Hint he
would not ho able to itet any supper he
asked the landlord what he could net to
eat.
"My friend," said tho hotel keeper, "1
can kIvo you anything from a pickled ele
phant to a lirollul canary bird's tciiKUc
for supper tonight."
Tho drummer looked at the man nnd
thlnklnn that ho was 'ostitis', decided to
call his bluff.
"All right, my friend," said the drum
mer, "I'll tnke some pickled elephant."
"Very well," said the host, "I'll go and
Kot It.'
lie was none about Uve minutes and when
he returned said:
"All rlKht, sir; supper will be ready In
11 moment. You'll have to take a whole
one. ax wo don't carve them after dark."
Tho drummer decided that he was not
very hungry and took xotue cheese sand
wiches. Vice President Unosevolt was not alwas
the inlqhty hunter, relates Harper's Weekly.
Ho has had Ills day of being afraid of big
game Hut that was many years ago, when
he was a woo little boy In short trousers
and used to play tag In Madison square In
Now York.
Opposite the square, on the east side,
stood a Presbyterian church and the sexton,
while airing the building one Saturday, no
ticed n small boy peering curiously In at tlm
half open door, hut making no move to
outer.
"Cntno. In, my little man, If you wish to,"
said the sexton.
"No thank you." said the boy. "I know
whnt you've got In there."
"I haven't anything lint lit t Io boys
tliajn't bee. Come In."
"I'd rather not." And the Juvenile Theo
dore east a sweeping and somewhat appro
hetiMvo glnnte around the pews and gal
leries nnl bounded off to play again
Still Ihe lad kept returning once in a
while and peeping In When ho went lfomo
that day ho told his mother of the sexton's
Invitation and his ttnw llllngness to ac
cept it.
"Hut why didn't you go In, my dear'.'"
she asked "It is the house of (Soil, but
there is no hirm in entering It quietly and
looking about."
With some shytiosx tho little fellow con
fessed that ho was ariabl to go In becauso
the zeal might Jump out at him from under
11 pew or somewhere.
"Tho zeal? What Ix the zeal?" the
mother Inquired.
"Why," explained Thuudore. "I suppose
it is some big animal like a dragon or nil
alligator. I went there to church last Sun
day with t'ncle K ami I heard tho min
ister rend from the bible about the zeal and
It frightened nie."
Down came the Com ordance from tho
library shelf and one after another of the
texts containing tho word "zeal" was road
to the child, whose eyes suddenly grow big
and his voice excited, as he exclaimed:
"Thai's i-th(. last you road."
It was Psaliu Klx. '.i- "I'nr the zeal of
thine house hath eaten mo up."
John Jae Jackson, Judge of tho I'nlted
States court for tho northern district of
West Virginia, who has completed tho ror
tletli year of his service on the federal
bench, lives at Parkershurg. W. Vn. Ho
wis appointed by President l.lmelii on
August 3. mm. and with one exception,
when the ronredernto rnrces held the Wost
Virginia Charleston so that he could not
roach the place, he has never missed a
term or court. Ono or Judge Jackson's
brothers has boon govt rnnr or his stnto
mid the other has bctn ror nearly thirty
years Judge of a state court
--
Tho late I'tilted Stntes Sonntor and At
torney flenotal Augustus II. (Snrlnnd. (Sen
oral Thomas C. Hindmnn. (Seuernl Patrick
Cleburne and Kgbert II. Ilngllsh. late chief
supremo Juxtlco of the Arknnsax supremo
court, are named by prominent Arkausana
nH lit men from whom the state mny select
Its two repteseutntlves In the proposed
Hnll of Panic at the Louisiana Purchase
exposition In St. Louis
Prof John A IMeinlng of the United
Slates coast and geodetic survey hns ar
rived In Honolulu for tho purpose of erect
lug nnd maintaining, near Pearl harbor, a
uiagnlllceiit stntlon ror observing and re
cording the variations of the compass. This
Is ono or rour such observatories decided on
by tho Treasury department, of which tho
one at Cheltenham. Md , has already boon
built. Another will he built at some other
Atlantic const point and a third nt Sitka.
Alaska.
At tho country home of Clara Morris, on
tho Hitdfon. there has been trouble; lately
In the orchard The orrlmrd is lust below
Clara Morris' bedroom and from her win
dow she enn hear plots by marplots overy
time she listens
These disturbances usually take place In
the night and the next morning the orchard
is round to have been robbed. , few nights
ago she hoard whisperings fiom below, then
limbs of trees were gentlv shaken. Tin n
came whl,ers again She got up and stole
to the window nnd In her manliest and
deepest voice said:
"(Set out of there!" Silence. A pause.
Whispering again.
"(Sot out of there or I'll shoot!"
"Aw, Jlinmle, pick up do bag. lt'x a
woman klddlu' us."
And "Jlminle" took the bag.
Kx-(Sovornor Itamsoy or Minnesota
reached another lilt Unlay on Sunday, Sep
tember S, and, when congratulated by hlx
rrlendx, said: "I'm probably is" years old.
as you say, for almanacs don't llo e.xcont
about tho weather and the patent medi
cines. Hut I hardly feel tho Ml, though
I'm freo to conross to tho 7." llo
became llrst governor of the territory of
Mlnnesntu Juno I, IS lit. nnd his friends xav
ho "holds tho blue ribbon ax llrst gov
ernor" now surviving.
Pointed Paragraphs
Deccnsed Individuals pay no bills.
It is usually the bettor half that gels Ihe
worst of it.
Is isn't the stage that nee. Is elevating
it's the public.
No wonder the up-to-date gill limps after
being vaeclnatid.
Klcvatots lift many 11 discouraged mortal
up in tho world.
Modern iiiixhlis are a unci ess as dime
museum attractions.
Paradoxh ally speaking, fast colors are
those that refuse to tun when washed.
It serves tho boat-iofklng idiot right If In
after yearx lie lias to rock the cradle.
Tho To.xa.t Hteer Is a pretty tough cus
tomer, espc dally when you moot him in a
cheap restaurant.
A fool man keeps quiet when he ought 10
tnlk nnd 11 fool woman talks when she ought
to keep quiet.
Kvery time a man Ix too sick to go down
town his wl'e begins to wonder how she will
look In mourning.
If a girl omits pickles from tho luti.'h sh"
puts up when a young man escorts her Io a
picnic his case Is hopeless.
After reading an account of a man who
had faBtoil forty days an Irishman said ho
would rather starve than fast ror a living
Just a Little Fable
Haltltnoro American: Onco Upon n Time
a Coarse, Sarcastic Man married a Timid
(Slrl who Insisted Upon doing lur own Cook
ing. One Day she handed Him a Slice or Some
thing that Looked like tho Cross-Socllon
o( a Tombstone.
"What'nth'dlckens Is This?" asked tho
Cruel Husband, Gazing Moodily at Ills
I'ront Tooth, which had Hrokcn oh In the
lMgo or the Mntorlal.
"That Is Angel I'ond," replied tho Pond
and Trusting wire.
"Angel rood?" ho Yelled In Unseemly
tones. "Then I Declare Myself right Here
nnd Now. I'm going to Hnekslldo. No mer
uit y for mo In n Place whom tho Pood Is
Like that."
Moral: Don't gel too Mnthuslnsllc with
Your Press Notices