THE OMAHA DAILY BEE; WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7, 1001.
0
The Cleverness of Dan
1 (Copyright, 1900, by Sojiims Mnc.Mantia.)
Tho cllvcrnew of Dan there was no
comln up till. Like Jimmy Creedone
klckln' gun, ho banged all over went afore
him an' all that came afther likewise,
Thcro was wanat an' there was a poor
KthrURclln' earncnthnr
lookln' for work on' put an advertisement
in me papers to mat cfTect. The Icadln'
butcher In Buhl I tl WI1 nt that art llmu
Koln' to fit up new prlmUos an' move lntll
lacm Deicaso 1113 tnrailc had become too
Ercat for tho mil' nt.iml ir vo a a.
slgnlu', cute vaeaboue, this butcher, al-
wayi mryin to get the upper hand Iv every
wan ho done business with. An' If they
wor poor, so much the better; he could
worry them then as ho wished an laugh
nt them for ilmir nntn it tfwv trlml it.
take the law Iv him, he havln' the long
purse, coum lot them bavo law till they
cried, "KnouRh!" Well, this fella wanted,
as I said, new prlmlses fitted up an' ho
wim jusi men turnitr over In his mind
all the schaymcs he could think lv for net
tin' them fitted free by fair dint Iv roguery.
So when he sors tho poor sthranne carpen
ther's advertisement In the papers he
whistled till himself an' slnt for hlm. An'
he made a conthract with tho poor carpen-
thcr for hlin to take the whnln ilnln- Iv
the work at 20 poun' (which wasn't near
jumcoj nn nave it nnlslied bo a sartln
day for a lump sum. Wrltln's was dhrawn
up atween them then an' there an' alKiml.
Well an Rood, the carpenther went to
work on the premises at wanst an wrought
like a black every day from early mornln'
till late at night an' him us happy an a
klnic. thlnkln' Iv his filch rnmi inni.
tho Ann money he was cnrnln' for thn wife
an me weans away at homo. Hut, behold
ye, his employer hud take n rlirht rnnil nftrt
to glv him raoro to do than he could do
in conmractcd tlmo nn' tuk morn nor 3b
poun' worth lv work out Iv him an' like
wise didn't hurry him, ho that It was two
days, or maybo three, after tlmo when the
work was done an' tho carpenther applied
for his pay. "Oet out, yo Bcoundhrll, ye!"
says his employer. Cot out lv here and ro
about yer business and thank Rod that
I'm lenient enough to lot yo off without
suln' ye for breach lv conthract, ye bare
faced rofiuo, ye!"
Thn poor carpenther, he hadn't three
pence In bis pocket, an' ho meandhered
off, up an' down the cowl' sthroots lv Dub
lin, with a lump Iv grief In tho throat lv
him, an he cryln' Inside his heart for Mary
an' tho children at home. When ho was
tired enough to dhrop he sat down on a
doorstep, an' the lady Iv tho house, scoln'
him, come out an' listened till his story
She tuk him lntll tho houso nn after she'd
made him put a hearty malo undher his
westcoat. glvo him a letter to Counselor
Dan O'Conncll, an' tould him to lose no
tlmo till he'd be with Dan an' have his
advlco on tho matthcr. "If there's ono
man In the three kingdoms," says alio,
"fit to get ye squaro with tho villlau that
chaltcd ye. It's Dan." The poor fella
thanked her with all his heart, an' was
with Dan nforo ho had his mouth wiped.
Dan hecrd his story from beglnnln' to end
without soyln' a word, nn' he then tuk
flvo minutes moro In thlnkln' lyln' back
In his chair with tho eyes In htm shut.
Then ho Jumped till his feet,, an' takln his
hat an' stick, says ho, ''Como with mo!"
The poor fella didn't know what Dan's
game was, but ho knew enough iv Dan
to ax no questions, but put every trlst In
Mm. Dan tuk him up wan Btrcet an' down
thn nlxt till they reached the street In
which tho butcher had his malt shop. "Take
notice," says Dan. says he. now, 'lv what
yo'll sen In his windy uswo pass." tVaet
the malt shop both lv them marches, nn'
there was the carcass lv a fine sheep, the
butcher was after dhressln', hung up bo Its
heels In tho windy. When thry got around
the next corner Dan halted, and ho axed
him If ho had taken notice. "Yls," says
tho lad; "there was tho carcngo of a bravo
sheen thore." "Illcht." nva n o
Dan begins an' opened up till him a vory
clover plan entirely he had In his head.
An' the lad, for all that, ho was good
hearted an' Hlmplo-hearted, was cuto
enough afther a fashion, an' he tuk In all
Dan sayed, and guaranteed to Dan that
ho'd act his part lv It to the letter. Then
Dan sent him back down the streot agalu.
Tho man walked boldly lntll the butcher's
hnp, an' after takln' a vlzay lv tho sheep
that was strung up In tho windy, lookln' it
round an' round, with tho eyo half closed,
like a man that knew all ever was known
or could be known about malt, ho sthrlltcs
It a tip with the little rod ho carried in
his nan', and says he to the butcher:
"How much a poun'?" says he. "would
ye be afther nskln' for tho little pig?"
"For what?" says tho butcher, taken
aback.
"For tho little plg-for this little pig,"
says he, tapplns It again with his rod.
"The sheop, yo mane ye gommachan,
ye!" say the butcher with disgust at tho
fella's Ignorance.
"The sheep I don't mane," says the lad,
"but tho pig this littlo pig hero."
"Ach. yo Ignorant boathune," says tho
butchor, "don't you see that's sheep?"
"Come, now," says he, "nono iv yer
thricks upon thravelers, If ye plalse. If
I'm from tho counthry atself," says he, "I
can know a pig when I see wan. There's
pUs t!.ere as well as In -Dublin"."
"Faith," says the butcher, lookln' pointed
at him, "I don't doubt yo wprd there," an'
then the butcher himself an four or ilvo
cronies that wor in awappln' gossip with
him, went lntll regular fits.'.
"Come, come." snv th. t.,t nr .u.i....
UtUil i
como hero to bo made game I v. Tell me. It
mo price iv this pB be tho
poun'."
"Ve know-nothln' omadhawn. ye!" onys
the butcher, "didn't I tell ye it was a sheep
and not a pig?"
"N'obbut ye confounded know-nothln'
omadhawn yersclf,"-nays, tho lad. appearln'
to got warm on It. "dldu't I tell ye it was
a pig au' not a sheep?"
Well, the butcher an' his cronies went
from wan lit iv laughln' lntll another at
this.
"I wtsht," eays tho lad. when they got
through, "I wisht," says he, "when ye will
show yer Ignorance th.it I could make o
pay for It be nslns lv a bait."
"A bMt!" says tho butcher. "Whoro
v.-oulU the likes lv you get monoy for
baltln'? I wl.iht." says he. "I could make
you pay for your Ignorance be a bait, If ye
wor o'i'.y worth tuppence-ha-penny, which
ye aicn't."
An' with that, out from his breast pocket
the lad pulls a littlo bag with 30 sovereigns
an' a runnln' sthrlng in It, which Dan
O'Conncll Imd handed to him for tho pur
pose at the corner, an' he counted out tho
thirty gold pieces.
"That's some little savin's ' mine," says
he. "Arc yo able to cover It?"
Faith, tho cheatery oye lv tho butcher
clWtonrd, an' ho bounced away an' In a
erack'wan back agalu with his own bag, an'
counted out 30 gold sovereigns, too an'
placed beside the other 30.
".Vow," says the lad, "who's to be stake
holder an' who's to bo Judge?"
The butcher axed him If ho had any ob.
Jectloas to wan lv tho lads that was standln'
there actln'.
"Why," says tho man, "I haven't no
objection In the wide wurrP to any iv
yer friends they're dalcent men an'
honeit, I'm sartln sure, an' would wrong
no man but," says he. "with all that 1
think It would be a sort Iv morn eatlsfac-
I. e.. Dan OTonnell, the great Irish
opltator ami liberator,
tory to all parties rtnsarned to lalve the
matter to sonic parson who hasn't been
llstenln' to the dispute an' doesn't know
either It us."
'Well an' good," says the butcher, who
was so sure lv the big haul he was goln'
to have off the poor man that he could af
ford to be generous. "Well an' good,"
saya he, "what plalses you "111 plalse me."
"Then suppose we lave It to tho first
comes In?" says the lad.
"Agreed!" says tho butcher.
"An' here," says the lad, as ho lookpJ
out lv the door, "here's a very gran' Jintle
man entirely comln."
An' the nlxt mlnnlt Dan O'Connoll him
self, an' he whlstlln' like n lark nn' twlrlln'
his stick, come steppln' lntll the shop.
Tho butcher nn' all Iv them tuk off their
hat to Counselor O'Conncll an' ho smiled
on them all an' bid them all time o' day,
namln' them by namo In the wlnnln' wny
that Dan could with every sowl, big or
small. In Dublin an" ho even sayed, "Good
morning, sthranger," to the lad an' axd
how was the crops lookln' down tho coun
try nn' what wore they thlnkln' Iv the
chances Iv repeal r.ow, nn' then he told the
butcher that Nancy, the housekeeper, had
axed him step In hero on his wny to the
Four Coorts an' ordher a cut lv his prlmest
malt to bo sent aroun that evcnln'.
"I'm honored bo tho ordher. counsellor."
says tho butcher. "An' if ye plahc, there's
wun Uttio case ye'd oblige us be decldln'
nforo ye go to the Four Courts If yo'd bo
so good."
"Why, says Dan, saltln' himself, "It'll
give mo every pleasure What's tho case,
pray?"
Tho butcher tut lntll Dan's hands tho CO
Sovereigns to hold nn' limn nvnr! hlm In
step forrld to tho windy nn' view tho basto
inai was nnngin' tnere.
Dan he stepped forrld an' looked It up
an' down on' handled It an. "Why, I see
nothtn' wrong with thin animal," nays Dan.
"It Isn't that:" says tho butchor. "but
thoV.'ueskln" I 'want to nut tn'Vo i&. Wh'ht
Kinu iv an nniinai is that?"
'Why. a cood animal." snvs n.-in Innlrln'
round na If he'd llkn to spp thn mm thnt
dared ray otherwise, "a very good animal,
inu era.'
"Yls. but," fays tho butcher, "whnt I
mnlnt to ax Is, What nniinai Is It? Whothor
Is It hog, dog or jackass?"
Como now," says Dan, says he, "13 It
wantln' to make fun I' mo, yez aro?"
"Oh, no. no, counsellor." says he, "upon
mo veracity we aren't. ' We'd be long sorry
to try tho like. Wo're In dead earnest, an'
there's that bait Iv 30 poun' a side as to
what animal it Is."
"Now, now," Dan says, lookln' from tho
baste to tho butcher an'rotn tho butcher
back to the basto again, "I" know yez must
be mnklu' fun."
"The dlvil a morsel o' ..fun," says the
butcher.
"An' sure," says Dan, says ho, touchln'
the enrense, "there's no man or his mother
from hero to Japan an' back again but
knows that animal!"
"No man or his mother,-.ccc;tln' an Ig
nornnt gommachan," says tlio butcher. "An'
wo'vo got that gommachan. There ho Is,"
says he, Indycatln' tho sthranger. "He'll not
give In till what tho animal Is at all, at all,
an' we're goln" to make hlm pay sass for
tcnchln' hlm. It's left to you, sir, now, to
tell hlm."
"Well, yo arc a Kommnchan," says Dan,
says he, turnln' nn' takln' a vizzy lv the
Bthranger. "Yo're a gommachan, an', with
all respects, a highly ignoraut gommachan,
an' richly desar o to lose yer money It ye
don't know a pis when ye see It. That ani
mal, sir, 'Is a pig!"
The sthranger shuk the dust lv Dublin
from his heels that night, an' It was hlm
was tho thankful man to "Dan O'Cohnell an"
happy man when ho counted down 30 goold
sovereigns on his own table nt homo to bis
wlfo the very next night.
Hut a long sight abler an' hotter It was
inai u.in wrougnt on the Oxfoord professor,
maklti' hares Iv them, an' outwlttln" them
so that the people aron't done laughing at
thorn till thW day.
Yo see; It was this way. After our great
college In Maynooth was built an' started,
tho big colleges In England, particularly
Oxfoord, was never tired lv throwin' all
sorts lv ugly disparagements on our col
lego an' they saved It would never rnmo
to nothln. Well. Maynooth was maybe
thirty years or moro going when one sum
mer there was porno Iv the Maynooth pro
feesors was over to see London an' as they
wor on the groun' they dhropped In to seo
Oxfoord college. Tho lalst honor tho Ox
foord professors could do was to glvo a
dinner In their honor and they did that
A rousln" fine spread it was. with tho best
an' dearest of all altnbles an' dhrlnk-ables-malts
an' wines an' all tho most
lamed gentlemen lu London, too. was in
vited to tho dinned. Hut. when tho dhrlnk
begun to go to tho heads Iv tho Englishmen
they began braggln' lv Oxfoord college an'
castln' up to the Maynooth professors that
they hadn't nothln' In Ireland to touch
up to It. Of course, tho Maynooth men hnd
to stan' up for their counthry an' their
college and' tell them back again that
there wns more larnln' In the little finger
Ivnny wan Maynooth man thnn In tho whole
body lv the biggest man they could rhoose
in Oxfoord. Wan word borrowed another
nn' argyment grow hot till the end Iv It
was tho Maynooth professors rlz to their
feet an' threw down a chnllengo for tho
flvo picked men, the most larned In knowl
edgable In Oxfoord college, to enter lntll
a contest with the professors Iv Maynooth
au then they left the room. Well, to bo
sure, tho Maynooth mm had no sooner
thrown down this challenge than they wor
sorry for It, bekaso the Knew well there
was men In Pxfoord collego that banged the
wurrl' an' couldn't be puzzlde In any wan
subject auonder tho sun. no matter what It
was. An' more be the same token, ye may
be perfectly sartln the Oxfoord men was
dancla' with delight on' lost no time takln'
I yalS?W
Smoke, ' Ktc
up the challenge an' flxln' a day an' date for
sendin' their men over to the contest.
All tho lamed men lv Maynooth began
stndyln' night an' day, but they felt In a
plcklo over It. An' the nearer the big
day dhrcw the worse they felt. The whole
thing was advartlsed over the three king
doms an' throughout France an' Ivery other
larned country; an' the whole wurrl' was
wnltin' to hear lv tho result lv the great
contest. The mornln' afore tho big day
tho most larned an' ablest of all the May.
nooth professors got up from tho
table an' flung his book as far as ho could
from him. "It's no use," says he. "It's
all no use! We aren't tho matches for the
Oxfoord men an' we'll bo dlsgrnced an'
our college nn' counthry 'III be disgraced
in tho face lv tho wurrl'!" An' lvcry other
professor (lung his book from hlm, too, an'
give in. "It's no use! It's no use! We're
ruined and disgraced. An' they sat down,
nursln' their knees an' waltln' for the
morra.
The professor, who was mostly to blame
for glvln the foolish challenge, tuk It sorely
to heart. Ho went mumpln' an' mopln'
about the houso, an' not know In' what to
do nt all, to save them all from disgrace.
Like a (lush a bright thought sthruck him
an'
"Boys," says he. "why mayn't wo ax
Dan O'Connell's help?"
Tho wan looked up at him, an' the other
looked up at him an' ,
"Dan O'Conncll!" says they, that way.
"Hothcratlon! They'd floore him out Iv
a Ucadln'-me Dalsy'"
"I don't main that." says he; "but ye
know there nlver yet was a corner no tight
that Dan couldn't find a sure way out lv "
THAT ANIMAL. Silt. IS A PIG
Faith, they began to reflect on this, nn'
wan sayed this, an' another sayed that,
but In tho en' they decided that It mightn't
bo any harm to glvo Dun a trial, anyhow.
In poBt haste though bo that tlmo It
was the middle Iv the night Into Dublin
the protestor posted, an' knocked up Dan
out Iv his hed, an' tould hlm his presence
was required nt Maynooth Ins'antly on a
case Iv life an' dnlth an' hols'ed Dan oft
with him to tho college.
They give in their case to Dan, an' axed
him to rack his brain, an' If, be hook or bo
crook, ho could show them how to save
the honor lv Mnynooth college, they
wouldn't never forget It to him.
"Upon my faith," says Dan. says he,
shakln' his head when ho heerd them out;
"yez Is fitted lntll a purty close fix."
"Dan," says they, "for heaven's sake, can
yo get us out iv it?"
"Glvo me," says Dan, says ho, "two
hours, two ounces of tlbacky, a Jug lv
whisky an' a fjuiet room an' at tho en' iv
that I'll tell ye whether it's In the power
1' man to help yo out or not."
He got as he nxed. an' all Maynooth
sat down outside his doore, watchln' the
way-be-the-wall till the two hours was
up. An' at two hours to tho very second
tho donro opens an' Dan steps out.
"Well?" they all shouts In n breath.
"Well." says Dan, "there's a chance fot
yez n chance."
"Thank God," says they, "even for a
chance. What Is It?"
"Produce," says Dan, says he, "yer best
Oreek scholar, yer best Haybrow scholar
an' yer best Sangscrlt scholar."
They done this.
"Now," says Dan, "produce me three
shoots (suits) Iv tho raggedest workman's
clothes ye enn get."
In short tlmo they had theso to the fore.
"Now." Bays Dan to the threo scholars,
get lntll that room, penl off yr7t Alvo
lntll theso garments as fast as if tho dlvll
was followin' yez," for the time was now
gettln' short.
When they wor decorated In theso robes
Dan ordhered them
on the Dublin road an' out thoy stepped.
1 uu.no unrivin' to this placo at
varus times." says ho, "I used to notice
three utone br'nkers n
crossroads. We'ro enln tn
Thoy reached tho first tnn hrM-rt-
mile from the eollei?n. nn' nr. i ,
hlm off thn heap nn' put his hummer lntll
.v ..ami n me fcangfcrlt scholar, placed
him on the heap an' saved a nrn 1
... .. " - .u his
ear. An now." says he. "bang away like
IMI .! ill III t I H IV .M'UTV.
On he went with thn oihnr i ,
tho Haybrew scholar on thn K.i 1
lv stones, three miles fmm h, -n '
glvln' him his private directions also An'
tho third man. tho Greek scholar, ho placed
on tho hrnp at the next crossroads, six
miles from tho collego-wlth Instructions
likewise.
rl1.??? "W far " ,I,e tlme announced
or tho big contest an' tho last man wasn't
oiig on his heap when tho carriage con
talnln' the Oxford champions dhruv up. It
halted at tho crossroads, not knowln' which
road to take (as Dan knew It would) an'
says they. "Hero's an oul' stoncbr'akcr '111
o!da.u,t.0rlB,lltWa'''' So""-K'vo tlm"
" day to tho oul' man on the heap an' axed
1.1m plalse dlract then, on tho proper rold
to Maynooth. Hack to them straight
h ids as they drove on again an' for the
out their hearts begun to Bve way. They
hauled out their notebooks. In which they
ionr, kfCP . a" nCC0U1,t lv """ "hole
Journey, an' wrote down In them "S v
miles from Maynooth college tho' stono-
hr akers on tho roadsides spalks Greek only
In or'nary conversation."
Very well an' good, when they como to
the nlxt crossroad-) they hauled up again
an' Inquired off an oul stone br-al'er who
was there tho proper turn to take for tho
college In Maynooth. This lad looked from
his heap an' saluted them an' glvo them the
Proper dlractlons. completely In the Hay-
A neadlns-Made-Hisy, the tlrsf i.nni,
put in u child's hands In the old schojfs?
brew.
The poor Oxfoord men, when, they hecrd
this gasped. As they dhruv torrid aR.-iln
their hearts were as low as Lanty Conly's
mall chlst. An' they held a sort Iv coun
cil o' war to know whether It wasn't maybe
1 best to turn off for Dublin an' home the
next turn they'd come to, or not. There
was two for goln' on an' two for
, goln' home an wan man was In
i swithcrs, but bcln' a courageous fella
give his vote at last for goln' on, So
they wrote down In their books, "Three
miles from Maynooth the stonc-br'akers
spalks Haybrew only In or'nary conversa
tion." At the third and last crossroads they
stopped tho carriage again an' give time
1' the day an' nxed directions off an our
stoncbr'nker who was peggln away at
a heap lv stones here. This lad replied
to them an' give them fult dlractlons how
to reach Maynooth, entirely In angcrlt.
Tho five professors shoved their heads
out Iv the carriage, an' roared to the
coachman: "Dhrlvc like tho dtvll fcr Dub
lin!" Then they fell back an' fainted In
wan another's arms. That night, as they
crossed In tho boat to England, they wrote
In their note books: "A mile from May
nooth the very stonebr'akers scorn to spalk
anything but Satigscrlt In or'nary conversa
tion. Wo saved the honor lv Oxfoord be
tho clalncst race on record."
In all Iv Dan's career none Ivcr out
witted him only tho woman that ho de
fended for stallln the bullock.
This woman was up for sellln' a bullock
which she claimed was her own, but which
the proiecutor was goln' to prtfvo that she
stole from him. An' when Dan went Into
the whole enso ho jjsepn that there was
such ovldenco as would convict her with
out tho Jury Ivor leavln- tho box. Dan was
then convinced that he was dallln' with a
dlsonest person nn' he'd like to havo
washed his hands of her an' her case, only
It would then bo put about that he give It
up bekase ho wasn't clfve'r enough to got
a vardlot. "So," thought Dan," "there's
no way out lv Hi I must go on with the
case; nn' as I'mgon'. on, with It. I must
keep up mo reputation an' get 'the woman
out clear." Morcover,,;tUt had .offered a
great fee entirely to Djm, l(,,he could suc
ceed In gettln' ber'oftc " "Sleep alsy,
ma'am," saya ho, "an consider yer case
already dismissed.'? TT'j
So, on the inofnln' 1 the thrlnl, Dan
had a prlvato conseltatlori wltli her, an
posted her on what she was to do. When
her trial was reached the 'coort was filled
with both people an' barrlsthcrs bekaso
It had been tho wholo ttilk for n length Iv
time nforchan' nbout tho wonderfully cllvcr
caso Dan was goln' to win an' tho mighty
big fee ho was coin' to., ..earn. An' when
tho woman wns placed In the dock an'
heerd the charge read, the looked very silly
entirely, an' twirled her 'Uiumbs, wan over
another, an' sayed out: "Ochon! mo poor
calve, yo'ro soul', ye're soul'!" an' tho
Judge an' Jury all looked quaro at her. Then
when the queskln was put till her, "Aro
ye guilty or not guilty?" she twirled her
thumbs an' looked silly, an' sayed:
"Ochon! mo poor calve, ye're soul', yo're
soul'!" An' the Judge an' Jury looked at
her quarer still. An' tho Judge then begun
further qucsklns Iv wan kind an' another
till her, but the sorra an nnswor ho could
dhraw from her, but, "Oqhon! me
poor calve, ye're squl', . yo'ro soul'!"
So, up the Judge Jumps at length,
an' ho flamln" mnd, an' ho wanted to know
who was responsible for brlngln' n poor
Idiot woman up nforo him an' puttln' her
in tho dock. "Warder!" ho shouts. "Throw
open tho dock doore thl Ins'nnt. an' let
that poor woman go fren, nn' hor own wans
(people) look afther her!" An' down out of
tho dock, n free woman, she stops; an' all
smllln' to herself, steers for- tho coort
doore. nut mo bravo Dan. though ho was
mighty delighted with his success, wasn't
tho man to forget his fee; so, he'made a
sthrlde afther, an' tips her on tho shoulder
-all tho barrlsthcrs, an' Judge, an" Jury
an' all In the coort. sthrnlnln' their necks'
" " -,ie Koi woman." says Dan.
holdln out his hnnd, "me fee, plalse If It's
convenient!" Sho put on again tho silliest
look eyer sat on an Idiot's countenance,
an . twlrlln' hor thumbs, says she-
"Ochon! me poor calve, yo'ro soul', yo're
soul !" '
Table and Kitchen
Practical Suauestlons About Food ind
the Preparations ol it.
Dully Mniiiw,
TIIFHSDAY.
liHEAK FAST,
Drolled Chops French Fried Potatoes
Rolls. Colfee.
Ll'NClI.
Lgg- Plant Farco. nice.
Sliced Tomatoes.
Tun.
DINNHK.
Vegetable Soup.
Beef Croquettes. Mushroom Sauce
Mashed Potatoes. Lima Ueans.
Cress Snl.ul.
Pineapple Iqe. Coffee
FniDAY.
DIIEAKFAST.
Fruit.
Cereal. Cream
Tomato Omelet. Creamed Potatoes.
Quick Ulscult. Coffee.
LUNCH.
Grilled Sardines on Toast
, Hot Potato Salad,
fruit. Chocolate Loaf fake.
Lemonade.
DINNUlt.
Macaroni and Tomato Scallop
hi" V"a?' r"""". Green Corn.
Peach Dumplings. Foamy Sauce
Coffee.
SATURDAY.
BREAKFAST.
Fruit.
Cereal. Cream.
Thin Slices Hrolled Ham.
Creamed Tomatoes,
Toast. Coffee.
LUNCI I
Cold Steamed Lobster. Sauce Tartare
Combination Salsd.
Cereal Coffee.
DINNER.
Crearn of Pea Soup.
Frlcnsse of Lamb. Spinach
Mashed Potatoes. Stewed Carrots
Lettuce.
Fruit Sponge. Cake,
1
Coffee.
SUNDAY.
UHEAKFA8T.
Fresh Fruit.
Moulded Cereal. Cream.
Drolled Sweetbreads.
Panned Tomatoes. Cream Sauce.
Toast Coffee
DINNEIt.
Iced Cnntaloupe.
Hoast Shoulder of Veal. Pens.
Mashed Potatoes. Stewed Onions.
Tomato Mayonnaise.
Coffee Parfalt.
8CPPEH.
Pressed Chicken. Cucumbers.
Nut Mutter Sandwiches.
Ten.
IlKt.lGItTFLt. Min.StMMKIl KltflT.
ScRson nf ttie Mont Delictum) nml
Eill'ile Melona.
Melon Is the generic name that embraces
all members of the gourd family, such as
muskmelons, cuntaloupes and water
melons.
When they nro fully ripe there Is no more
luscious and acceptable fruit. There arc per
hnps the mot watery of fruits, contalnlug
more than D5 per ceut of water, but for
this reason they are exceedingly ngrceablo
to the palate In hot weather when scred
thoroughly chilled, In Europe the melon
usually follows the soup, but In this coun
try It has been the custom on account of
the fragrance and sweetness of the melon
to servo It as n dessert or sw-eet course,
though a great many have very sensibly
substituted It for tho soup, serving It with
salt nnd pepper or a little grated nutmeg.
These muat be served Ice cold; when
thoroughly rlpo and chilled they nre crisp
and not Indigestible to most people, but
a melon that Is not well ripened and
chilled, especially If kept too long In tho
heat after picking, will bo stringy and
tough and not at all dlgostlble. There are
many nlco ways of serving these melons: a
very Inviting dish may bo made by cutting
the melon In half nnd with a large spoon
take out the pulp In cone-shaped pieces;
arrange these on a dish like croquettes,
placing bits of Ice among them, llorder
the dish with green grape leaves,
Watermelon Salad Cut tho watermelon
In half; remove the red part carefully and
cut Into neat blocks; then dig out white
part of the rind until you havo a wall
about half an Inch thick. Cut off a piece
from tho bottom of the melon shell or bowl
so It will stand level; then trim the upper
edgo In points with a sharp knife. Put In
tho melon cuhles, sprlnkllna; each layer
with sugar. Set away on ice to chill and
when ready to serve pour over the melon
a littlo Iced claret and servo. Another way
to serve as a salad is to cut the red part
Into small blocks; dress with a little oil
In which you havo dissolved a small quan
tity of salt. Let stand on Ice to chill and
Just before serving add more oil mixed with
lemon Julco In proportion to two-thirds oil
nnd a little pepper.
Watermelon Ice Scoop out the red part,
remove seeds nnd chop tho pulp rather line
with a silver knife; add a cup of sugar and
Julco of ono lemon and freeze until the
consistency of soft snow; serve In glasses.
A pint of good claret added to tho chopped
melons and frozen as abovo makes a de
licious Ice.
Tho Muskmelon Tho ability to select a
good muskmelon Is said to Indicate uner
ring Judgment In all things. However
this may bo, It certainly seems to be a
gift with some to know at a glance when
a melon Is "Just right!" and there Is noth
ing more disappointing than tho discovery
that spicy richness of flavor that makes
them so delicious Is missing,
When selecting a muskmelon or canta
loupe see If It has odor, press Rently on
the stem end and If It Is sweet and
"musky" It Is quite ripe and a good melon.
Also observe If the skin between the' sec
tions Is yellowish green, not bright yel
low. The skin on the raised sections should
be qulto rough and green. A melon that Is
too ripe Is Insipid and unwholesome.
Ice should never touch the Inside of these
melons, as It destroys tho fine flavor. Such
serving Indicates carelessness as a rule.
If you cannot keep your melons In a very
cold place or on lee for a sufllclent length
of time to have them thoroughly chilled
and ready to serve at a moment's notice,
do not serve a warm melon packed with
chopped lee that perhaps does not do more
than chill the surface, while It spoils the
flavor entirely. Cut tho melon crosswise,
tako out the seeds, then place the halves
together and put the chopped Ice around
them, not Inside. Let them stand for an
hour. Servo theso on a folded napkin.
A pretty way to send them to the break
fast table Is to cover a silver tray with
cloth; place tho halved melons on this
and arrange red and purple plums among
them to give a pleasing picture In colors.
Cantaloupe Frappe Select two large
melons that Indicate perfect ripeness and
fine flavor, cut open, remove all seeds and
scoop out thn pulp; put this through a
rather coarse sieve, season with a little
salt. Add four tablespoonfuls of honey to
half a cup of currant or cherry Julco and
pour over tho pulp. Let stand half an
hour In the refrigerator, then freeze.
Compote of Melon Tako a muskmelon
or cantaloupe that Is not entirely ripe;
slice nnd pare and cut each section Into
blocks; mako a boiled syrup with a pound
of sugar and a cup o'f water; cook tho
melon In this for five or ten minutes; flavor
with vanilla or lemon Julco; when cold
servo It with boiled rice.
Preserved Melon Muskmelons. or canta
loupes, that are underrlpo and tho rind of
watermelons may be preserved In this
manner: Make a syrup of sugar and water,
one pound of sugar to a quart of water;
when the syrup Is boiling, drop In tho
melon and allow to stand until tho next
clay; then pour off the syrup; let It heat
to boiling point nnd pour over the melon
slices and let stand until cold. Repeat
this for thrco days. After boiling up the
syrup tho last time and before pouring It
over the fruit flavor delicately with vanilla
extract
Another Wny Tako Ave pounds of tho
fruit out Into blocks: put Into a stone Jar.
Doll three pounds of sugar with ono nuart
of vinegar and pour over the fruit. Con
tlnuo to do this for eight days. Thn fol
lowing day pour off tho Byrup, add to It half
an ounce of wholo rloves and one ounce of
stick cinnamon; boll together for a few
minutes; then add the melon nnd simmer
gently for half an hour. Seal m Jars and
do not open for two or three months.
is used on the diet
tables of the Battle
Creek Sanitarium,
where lives would
pay the forfeit were
ordinary foods used.
Sharp men making "foods" have
located nt Jiattle Creek to take ad
vantage of the Sanitarium foods'
reputation.but the publicia protect
erf ns a picture of the Sanitarium ap.
Eears on each package of Grnnoln.
(rink Caramel Cereal nnd sleep
well. Send 3 cents for Granola
sample to
Battle Creek Sanita-
riumFoodCo.Dt,Ktek
HERE ARE 4 FEW
OF
Timely Articles
By Eminent Writers
that have nppoared in Tho
Twentieth Century farmer
during the first six months of 1903.
"What the Government Huh Done for the Farmre," SEO
KETAKY OF AGKICULTUKE JAMES WILSON.
"The Advnnoe Mnde in the Study of Insects," Prof. LAW
HENCE UK UN EH, State Entomologist of Nebraska.
"Some Leading Features of Kansas Agriculture," F. D.
COB URN, Secretary of the Kansas State Board of Ag
riculture. "Why Live Stock Men Oppose the Grout Bill," J. W.
SPRINGER, President of the National Live Stock As
sociation. "Arguments in Favor of the Grout Bill," J. B. RUSTITON,
Ex-President of the Nebraska Dairymen's Association.
"New Department of Agriculture In Iowa," G. II. VAN
UOUTEN, Secretary of the Iowa State Board of Ag
riculture. "Review of the Last Century in Dairying," Prof. D. n.
OTIS of the Kansas Experiment Station.
"Redeeming the Semi-Arid Plains." C. S. HARRISON,
President of the Nebraska Park and Forest Association.
"Pertinent Facts About Seed Corn," N. J. HARRIS, Sec
retary of the Iowa Seed Corn Breeders' Assocaition.
"Question of Feeds for the Dairy Fanner," E. A. BUR
NETT, Animal Husbandman of the Nebraska Experi
ment. Station.
"Proper Cnre and Treatment of the Soil," R. W. THATCH
ER, Assistant Chemist of the Nebraska Experiment Sta
tion. "History of the Nebraska State Board of Agriculture," E
Gov. ROBERT W. FURNAS, Present Secretary and
First President of the Board.
"Irrigation and Farming," GEORGE H. MAXWELL, Ex
ecutivve Chairman of the National Irrigation Associa
tion. "Making Winter Wheat Hardy." T. L. LYON, Assistant
Director of Nebraska Experiment Station.
Articles on Soil Culture nnd Conserving the Moisture In
the Semi-Arid WeBt, H. W. CAMBEL.L
Special Articles each week, JAMES ATKINSON, of the
Iowa Experiment Station at Ames.
Letters of Travel FRANK G. CARPENTER.
Other writers contributing to The Twentieth Century
Farmer, are:
Chancellor E. BENJAMIN ANDREWS, of the University
of Nebraska.
Prof. CHARLES E. BESSEY, State Botanist of the Uni
versity of Nebraska.
R. M. ALLEN, President Standard Cattle Company. '
C. R. TnOMAS, Secretary American Hereford Breeders
Association.
B. O. COWAN, Assistant Secretary American Shorthorn
Breeders' Association.
Prof. II. M. COTTRELL, Kansas Experiment. Station.
Dr. A. T. PETERS, Nebraska Experiment Station.
Hon. J. STERLING MORTON, Former Secretary of Agrf.
culture Father of Arbor Day.
Prof. A. L. HAECKER, Nebraska Experiment Station.
E. F. STEPHENS, President Nebraska Horticultural So
ciety for five years.
E. WITITCOMB, Friend, Nebraska, Supt. Bee Exhibit at
Nebraska State Fair.
O. IT. BARNIIILL, Shenandoah, Iowa, Secretary South
western Iowa Horticultural Society.
Women's Department conducted by Mrs. NELLIE
HAWKS, of Friend, Neb.
Veterinary Department in charge of one of the best veterl.
narians in tho west.
What efSior Agricultural paper can match this?
Every week in tto year for one dollar.
Send you name on a postal for sample copy and club
bing list.
Twentieth Century farmer
OMAHA.
THE