LI
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?)1 CAN & RICHARDSON,
Sfc YOUMOttT MEM&E.R Of THE HOUSE. . -p )
Told Out ol Cuurt
The Judge of tho United States court In
Porto nico, relates the Chicago Record,
bears tho musical narao of Sulzbacher and
comes from New Mexico, whero ho learned
Spanish and became the friend of Senator
Elklns, which accounts for his appointment.
That Judge Sulzbacher Is a diplomatist and
a man of ready resources a llttlo Incident In
his Judicial career will prove. Before the
policy of congress and the administration
toward our new possession's was developed
Judgo Sulzbacher prematurely decided tlrnt
the constitution followed tho (lag. This
Judicial precedent might have troubled
other people, but It gave, him no concern
whatever, because the first tlrao any one
questioned bit decision he replied:
"It Is true that I held that the constitu
tion followed ihc Hug, but I, did not say with
what speed It does tho following."
A correspondent of Cnso'nnd Comment
writes that In a certain family history It Is
related that "when Morgan county, Illinois,
was first organized a certain farmer wa3
selected for a justice of tho peace. When
the county was added to a 'circuit and a su
premo Justice came down to hold a court
this justice of the pence, with tho couaty at
torney and others, called bn him. Tho Jus
tice' of tho peace said: 'Judge, I want to
nsk you a question of law,' 'A'sk your county
nttorney and thoso other lawyers of your
county,' said the Judge. 'Oh, I know as much
law as those fellows, I want io ask you,'
Well, what Is It," said th.e Judgo, 'Can a
Justice of tho penco grant a' divorce?' 'Cer
tainly not, ho has no Jurisdiction,' said his
honor. 'Well, Judge, you'ro wrong,' said
tho Justice of the peace. 'He can, for I
granted one myself yesterday, ana tho gal's
gono back to Mlssouil, and tho man's work
ing down there In that Held.' "
Peoplo In this country, says tho London
Chronicle, frequently express surprise nt
tho high salaries paid to members of tho
Judicial bench In India, When, however,
those gentlemen hove perforco to hear with
n gravo faco such pleadings as tho' follow
ing It Is not difficult to understand why tlin
government offers them a handsome rato of
remuneration. Tlio case In question was
ono of assault and battery: "My learned
friend with moro wind from a teapot thinks
to browbeat mo from ray legs. But this Is
more guerrilla warfare. I stand under tho
shoes of my client and I only seok to place
tho bono of contention clearly In your
honor'B eye. Your honor will bo pleased
enough to observe that ray cllont Is a poor
widow with one post-mortem aon. A widow
of this country, your honor will bo pleased
enough to observe, Is not llko a widow of
your honor's country Is not ablo to oat
moro than ono meal n day or to wear
dhotles or to look after a man. So my poor
client had not such physlquo or mind oa to
assault tho lusty complainant. Yet sho has
been deprived of somo of hor valuablo
leather tho leather of her nose.
"My learned friend tins thrown only an
nrgumunt ad homlnum upon my tooth, that
my client's wltnossoo aro all near relatives.
Hut they aro not hor near relatives. Their
relationship Is thero homeopathic. So tho
misty arguments of my learned friend will
not hold water. And I am sorry to say that
this witness Is a man of my own feathers,
that there nro In my profession black ahoep
of ovory description, and somo of them do
not always speak .gospel truth. Until tho
wltneaa therefore explains how he has come
across mjr client's oose leather, he cannot
bo bullovcd, lie urn not be allowed to rulse
n castlo In the air by benting upon a buBh."
Wo are glad to obsorvo that tho dofondant
who took a pleco of tho widow's valuablo
noso leather wns bound over to koop the
"piece."
John Phllpol Curran, ono of tho wittiest
lawyers who ovor faced a court, was onco
arguing a enso boforo Lord Claro, tho Irish
lord chancellor. Claro chorlshed a cordial
dlsllko for Curran and In order to show his
contompt for that gentleman affected to pay
no attention to tho argument and dovotod
himself to fondling a mastiff which ho had
brought with him to court. Presently he
stoopod down ostentatiously to pat the dog.
Instantly Curran stopped speaking. Tho
lord chancellor looked up and said: "do on,
Mr. Curran." "I bog your lordship's par
don," roplled Curran; "I thought you were
engaged In consultation,"
i'orUK.""
