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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 5, 1898)
i AN INVOLUNTARY PRESIDENT 11Y W. L. ALIJKN. I'M. by W. IAliUn ) I don't fitipiiorc jou ever licinl of the rc- piitilic ol Orl/ata. remarked my frlonJ , Hon. Jimrs K Smith It only exlated as an In- iVvtri'lent ru > nhle ! for about n dozen years. You sec. It uted to lo i part of the republic of Onl ol America , end It was such a worth- If * strip of land and fovcr that when It set 11 i m lt own ncrount the tTntral Americans (1 In t take thetrouhlo to recomiurr It , and Vrillid till thTUnllcd ( Slalca reconquered It for them. Orizaba had ones # ott > ort , where pcrhtns time or four tmrnp tpamcrn called In tlie i jun c of t'.ic yinr. to ceo If they could pick lip a raw of loRwood. The cotntry was fall of lofiwood of the very best final" ! ' . 1)Ul the natives were so lazy tliat they would j over cut It unle ? % they were [ ild Oy the 0 y ard cvon then they worked no slowly that It took about two m ntlis to furnish a CT'o fora 2.000-lon tramp. Thla name llttlo . < prt , tthlrh culled lt elf Santa Itojw , con- tL 'eJ of flbotit l.BOO Inhabitants , living mostly In one-story ndobo liounei , and It WSH the o ii tal of the republic. The way 1 came to be president of Orizaba vti , what I started out tc > tell you. and I'll trto Ifppp to the point. If I rjet wandering off Into o'her xubjcctn Just null mo up , and r'crt IIIP arnlti on the rlchl tra k Alont ? In 1V70 I was IN- junior pirtncr of a llrm In f. } Pranckicn tlat did a blj ; bualncra In limber Ilrom'py , Twlchcll & Co. was the usino of the ( Inn , and I was the Co. 0 (1 ( Hroinlrj. the senior Tartnor , was a mighty enterprising man , nnd ono ilay he ex. n1 to m and tolil me tint there was a < he rep of biilldlnR up a tremendous trodo In logwood , provided nomcbody would KO to fanta Il.aa and run the tiling. "So , " fcija 1" Tiil-y , "I have dex-ldcd that you are Just the man for the nlnrc , and I want you to Klort by n simmer IVat Is Kolns lo isill for thi' f'pntn.1 Ainerlciin norts next \VeuCieslay , nml will put you imlnrc at Santa Ilosi. I've Indund the administration to make Santa Ho u a rons il < ir i.ort. and > ou will be ap- polnt"d roi iil ftt that place In the course ( if . . i .y or two There won't bo any money In 'hi > olll'c , but you won't have any otllelal v.o k t ) d > , an 1 the fUct that you nre consul Mill iitjou pit Hip op.iortjnltlcs jou will IK il fc.r rollarliifc the logwood bUBlnrns I bellevn Hint Is all I lave to ray , and I iiro- Mime , Mr Smith , .that you will he ready to fall next weik. " Tl it was Just old Ilrotnli'j'H way. He nev r wasted n word. Some men would limo taken half u day to tell mo what tlir > expected me to ilo In Santa llosa ; but Ulromley Just let me know that 1 wan to KO th < re and eollir the lo wool business I wan to do It In my own way , and If I suc ceeded It would brliiK tnu J lot of money , ii > failed why Dromley would nl7 < s the thins up and put the blame1 where II 1)ol > nr < 'd I no\er hesitated a mlnu'o nlio'i' KII ! I ] , ; , nnd when I landed at Santa lloHi wlih a trunk , an American flan an I JUOOi ) In my belt I knew thiit I had m > iuturu as a biiHlnt-ss man In my own hands i i , iRild UvncMl Alvarcr. vvho b" I 'en fleeted twice am1 had then in.i IP up hl mind that elections were a 'WfiHte of time ami cense wetitlj hold on to ] ils oliko without asltliiK any one lie wai i-id ; ' to be rciognl/oil by the Unllud States , mid as I was the nnly-conul In the v.hole K Dublin I was a pretty Important nun Jlo.vcver , my mind was inure set on busi ness than It WJH on honor ami K'ory ' ; I went to work and Kathcrod together more IOK- v T months than tal been ex- ] ) oited In the previous two yeai I loaded a tramp with the logwood anil my firm de- cOol n run a monthly steamer of their own between Sin Kranclsco and ? anta Itoaa. 1 01 w , tco , that the country wns full ot litit-ass ) ( ! iiuhoKany , and I calculate 1 to In luei- the natlvtH to iu In for coffee grow ing In shoit. I thoiiRlil I > aw my way to innkliiK a bli ; foituno for mj'olf and part ners , and to make ttio lepubllc of Orl/iba a pnupcroua concern. 1 hail teen In fc'anla HIIK.I about n fnrt- tilijht whin a young f pi lew Colonel i.Min- do/i who was the commander of the presl- ( Irnt'r Kinird , conic rushlnK up 'o ' my door v. Ill' Ills drawn sword In tils hand , and a nit b of solilleis and cltl/cns If a lot of lu/y lial * drer ed Indians c.n bewailed cltbena at his litcls. 1 let him In ut onee , for he was evidently In u bin li'irry ' , nnd so wns the crc.Ml that uas after him. He ilrojipcd Into a chnlr clean out of breath , and by the time I Kraxpcd the situation and got my Kim ready the whole crowd was hammer ing at the door , and yelling for the colonel to come out anil ho klllril. I will say hers % \rs r lirawi man , for although he had e\ory rcanon to believe illiat the mob would break in enl massacre him , ho sat smiling and faspliif In his chair anil as soon ax ho got hlii hrcatli bo began to a | > n.iil/e ] ; for dlBtuib- liiK mi , nml oirerlng to leave at once If lie was putting nil , to any Inconvunit-net1. I t ( lil him tn stop where he was , and then I Dpcnpi the door and holding myVlnchibiter In my left hand , I asked the people what WAS AKHAII ) Iin COUM ) NOT TIII : IILOODTIIIHSTY ix- or TIII : MDN. ( hey wanltd. Somebody ulngs out that they wanted Mendo/u's life , anil miant to have It , and that If I Irrtcrfcrul In thu clrcua 1 would bo hung on the neuuiit tree. I didn't make any answer until I had seized my big American ling and xprt'ud It out on the front dear sill and all along my entrance ) Imll. Then I kiiyg ( o llui urtiwd that I \\aa ! the American consul , that nobody could get , Into the houno without trampling on the .American flux , and that If any living Orlza- liian ilnreil se > much as to touch It with hU illrty buro foot I'd eund for a man of war ( hat would blow the town Into smithereens nnd Imnir the president ami every other man in the rtpublic who wan rc i > ectublu enough j lo wear trousora "I give > ou fair warn- i liiK , " I added , "that I Khali open tire on you from my lop windows In Mvo minutes , and I'm not afraid to light you and your whole army till you tuko u bath , which 1 ralculato will bo nomii years to come , " That bellied them. llku all hnlf.flvlllzi'd haltI I ticcils they could understand the meaning I of a rlllo In u white man's liumlu. They elunk away as If they had bt-un operated ' , on with a horfowlilp , and when I went back V > stib | > i pnu noon Xm punoju vituu ; m , TIHI oi | , I'llHIIB WM | ,1IU > | 03 111)1 ) > UOI | I1100J 01(1 ( 0) ) ino 011 Loth checks , nnd tiwuro that ha would IIIIVIT forget that 1 hud euvcd his Ilfo vblrh there Isn't the slightest doubt that I had , That was the beginning of my frlcndihlp nvlth the colonel.Vn got to U > as thick no tliloves In a short ( line , and the rolonuj liunlly uver failed to couiu and umoku my cigars In thn evening when ho was off duty , ] lo was polite , bravo and good tempered ; nnd an for honctty , hit gormcd now and then to have a llttlo Inkling of what It meant , nvhlch was more than could bo eald for any other Orlzablan. If ho had been ratted In a Christian lund , with Sunday echoola and and honut election ! be would probably have turned out to bo a first-class Man. Man.One ovcnlng Mcndoza Mid to me as he was starling for home , "Don't Smith , I want you to promise me that you won't go out of this house for the next two days. You will be porfcrtly safe e.o long as you arc In your own house , but I can't answer for your life If you step outside your door , until I send you wcrd that the danger Is over. " "What's up' " said I. "Arc you going lo have a revolution ? " "I can tell you nothing , " ho replied. "He- member that you once stood between me and R mob that would have shot mo In an' ' hour's time If you had not Interfered. That mob was acting under orders from the pres ident , aa I suspected at the time , and now know. You are not exactly a popular person at the palace Just at present , and I beg tl.at you will lUtcn to my ndvlcc , nnd not run Into danger. " It so happened that I wan behindhand In my correspondence Just then , and the monthly steamer for San Francisco was to Rail In three days more. While I didn't feel llko hiding In my house from any number of greasers , I thought that I might just aa well take the next two days for squaring up my correspondence , and at the same tlmo avoid the danger that Mcndoza hinted at. So I told him that I would do as ho said , and ho went away thanking me warmly and as- I forgot to car that I Am your vice prcs-N o > nt , And that while dlctntor I also pro * moled myself to the rank of lieutenant general nnd to the supreme command of the army. " Well , I talked n while longer with Mpn- doza , and then I took ten minutes to think the thing over. So far s I could sec. I was at leest as good s president as Presi dent Iloyts , and as there was no work for on American consul to do In Orizaba , I didn't see trot I need resign an office tint wasn't anything but a namp. So , on the whole , 1 ddjlded to accept the presidency , and marchrd arm In arm with General Mcn doza to the palace. I never oaw more enthusiastic people In my life than the people of Santa Rosa. They lined the Bides of the street , and cheered for mo as If I was Abraham Lincoln come to life again. I ws surprised at this , but Men doza afterward told mo that there was a policeman with a knife standing behind every citizen who hadn' previously expressed his confldcnci In me , and thit any man who hadn't checrei for me would have found hlmsslt In dim cultlp.3. "There Is nothing so easy to arouse BO public enthusiasm , " Raid Men doza , "provided you know how to do It ant can trust the police. " Mondozn wasn * wfliat you could fairly cell a great man , bu ho knew polities from A to 7. . I hadn't been president three days before I eaw the tremendous advantages ot the place. I had the best sort of food nnd drink , nnd loJRlng and clothes , and al though I couldn't collect n particle of pal- nry , owing to the treasury being empty , I had all the comforts that Orizaba could pro duce. I found that there weren't any taxes whatever. When old Alvcrcz wanted money ho sent word to the rich men of the coun try that ho wanted a government loan nt 15 or perhaps 20 per cent , Just as the notion . \ L-V .O. ft' v a-\\ \ i / / . - LONG LIKB TO I'ltESlUUNT SMITH ! " uiu.ng HID that I could count on him to the * death. The next day at breakfast I thought I heard a lot of niuslcetrj- , but I fell asleep again , and when I woke up for all day , I lather Imagined that 1 had been dreaming. The next day after that was ns < | Ulet us a New England Sunday , but on the third daj" , at about 8 o'clock in the morning , Mcniloza marched up to my door with an escort of llfty HTlillere , and when I showed mjsclf thu wliolo gang began to yell , "Long Ilfo to President Smith1" | "What'B the met nlng of this ? " I said to M iidoia , when he and I were alone in my back oil'.i ! . "It means , " said he , "that you are the picMdcnt of OMzaba , and I have ccme to CNCort jou to the palace. " "Considering 'that I am not a c.tlzen of Orlj' ' ha nml that 1 am an American consul , and furthenioro , that I know nothing what ever about jour political affairs. It seems to iii'1 ' that a man ought to be ahhamed of telling mo at FO early an hour as 8 o'clock lii the morning that I am president of your rubbishing republic. " "I * i don jour excellency , " said Mcndoza. "It pleases you to joke , and It Is mt my place to nnd fault w.th a iresldont'8 jokes. I'urmlt mo to remind jou that I ovv. > you my life. Also I teg to say , that I very nearly owed the kilo Pies dent Alvarez my death. I have rewarded Alvarez by overthrowing him , and ho Is now on hvard the steamr on his v y to your former countrj1. To jou , I have tried to show my gratitude by making jou pres dent. I fail to se-o that there Is any thing amusing In this " "Hut , my Jear joung man , " 1 exclaimed , "I'm verj much obliged Jo you fcr jour giat.tude. but , us I said befoie , I'm not a cltl ? fit of your republic , and 1 don't sec how jou arc going to 'make ' a preMdent out of a foreigner " "Ag ? In I beg jour excellency's pardjn , " E.ild Mcndo/a. "The day before yesterday , when I arrested AlvnrcI I made iujg lf dictator. The first decree I Issued wau one making jou a cltl/en. Then I orlcrcd 1111 olc tlon for president , which took placet yes- t rd.iy and you had 'the usual majority of 748 000 votes , your i dversary , Dr. Del Vullo , havl'g JOU. So you see your are regularly elected , and I have , of course' , resigned my poj tlon as dictator. " "Hut , jou amiable lunatic , " said I , "do jou moan to toll me > that 740,000 people , or tl ) ' reubouls , voted to. mo though most of them had never so much as heard of my ex istence hi fore clcetlon day7" "I to vo not said that 7-10,000 people vote-J for jou , Don Smith , " ho replied. "There are j n 'ver moro than 300 or 400 who vote In anj | election In thin coun.ry. It Is the business of the policeto conduct an election , and to glvo the * proper candidate the proper num ber of votes. Alvnrcaltvaja had from 710,000 to 760,000 majo Ity , and wo thought It right that jou should have the samu I assure you thit everj thing h > H been done In thu most regular and constitutional way , and jour election Is as valid as that of the presi dent of the United States " I could Invo told my friend that ho hadn't hit on A very good comparison , for I the president of the United States at that tlmo happened to bo Mr. Hayes , who owed his election to the fact that thu Ivui3ianu returning board a set of gam- ' blorti ii nil thluves who counted the votes of Louisiana gold the vote of the tituto to ' the republic-ana , though It fairly belonged t' le-niocraln. However , Mcniloza didn't know that llttlo circumstance , and I wcnn'i going to glvo my country away by men- Honing It. "I'll admit , " mid J , "for the sake of arguI I incut , Hut 1 have bcea elected president nml am a citizen of Orizaba. Uut 1 am , etlll thu American consul , and If I accept ! your presidency I mast rttlgn my consulate * and glvo up my logwood buslne'ss , and I ' don't mean to do either. " j "Your lieuit ti mewl noble , Don Smith , " I Bald Memloza. "but jou do not us yet fully ' umlu eland the customs of thU country. The United States will never know that , you are' president unless jou Inform them , of the fact. Then * by not continue to ho consul ! There 1s no leaban why a pre | .1 dent should not curry on a treat ; and glori ' ous business llko jojrs , especially when ! in tun , If ho chooiea , confiscate all the logwood - j wood In the country. Delovcd friend and ' jrreaencr ! Let mo beg jou to accept the ! presidency tomhlch on admiring nation has ducted you. It you do not llko the post-1 tlon , jou can rettro before jour term of ofllco expires , and I .will lake jour place , struck him , nnd that each mini would plcaso to send so much mentioning the exact amount to the palace within twenty-four houis When 1 made It understood that no moro such loans would ho asked for , I had cvcij' man In Orizaba who was rich enough to wear s.hoes on my side. To raise a rev- cnuo I Imposed taxes puj-ablo lu logwood and mahoganj- , and coffee and bananas , ami the way the taxes poured Into the pala-e J'ard would have astonished j-ou. I hatis- fled mj conscience , so far as my San I'ran- clsco partners were concerned , by sending them about one-half the amount of taxes , and the real I sold to any purchasers thai happened to come along , and turned the money into the treasury. ' Considering that I never claimed nor took a cent ot salary the whole tlmo I was president , I think I was pretty middling honest. I considered then , as I eo now , that my Hrst duty was the people that I ruled over , and I was sat isfied with the profits that I made out of my logwood business. There Is no denying that I did use the i combination of presidency and consulate to the advantage of my San Francisco firm I When I wanted any favor from the govcrn- . inont I used to write ns a private American I cltbcn to myself as consul asking for It I Then I would forward the letter with n | strong recommendation , to myself as presi dent , and generally I granted the request [ Some men In my place would simply have taken possession of anything they wanted , 1 without any formalities ; but f always hail I r respect for law and order , and I always endeavoied to be as honest as the particular situation In which I found mjself would al low mo to be , without seriously Injuring myself or my friends. I hope you won't i think I nm boasting of my extreme honesty [ I'm no I'lmrlfco and If I am better than the i average man I'm the last one to go about calling attention to the fact. I t'led to Improve the moial and material 1 condition of the natives , but I couldn't make the least Impression on them. You can't make a man work when he can earn a liv ing by Ijlng on his hack In the shade and eating rlpo bananas. As for getting the people to understand the hem-fits of dduca- tlcci , I might cs well Invo tiled to get a milk man to iindcrt.taml the benefits of not jell ing h s head off In the streets. There were about a doyen men In Santa Host , not count ing the priests , who could read and write , and they wanted to keep the knowledge to themselves. They said that If I tried to es- tabl'sh ' public schools and to make the people ple attend them , there would he n revolu tion In good earncEt However , I did accom- p'lah ono great reform. When I took the presidency the whole country was swarming with police , who stole pretty much every thing they could lay their hands on , and kept the population In a stuto of terror by their crimes I just ubolUhcd the entire po'lco ' force , with the exception of two con- htablis whom I kept In the palace yard , whoio I could keep my eye oil them. The ormj consisted of llfty men , u nil or Lieuten ant General Memlnra , mid I gave order. ! that the soldiers should ( dirot any man on a ght whom they might catch In the act of com mitting any police operation. This very nearly put on end to rrlmo In Ori/aba. You see , the averngo Orlzablan , providing ho wasn't a professional pol ccmun , hadn't the energy to steal , and with the exception that now and then there would I1u a rjuartel , and ono man would stab another , there was less crlmo In Orizaba thin In any community that I ever knew anj thing about Well , not to take up too much time I will Just nay that I i tiled Orizaba for a year and n month , and In that lime I made the fortune of my San Francisco firm , lies ) Irs doing more to develop the trade of the country than any Central American president over dreamed of doing. I tilled up the empty treasury till It contained over $17,000 , which In the ejes of an Orlzablan , wns a tremendous deus SUM , and Lieutenant General Mcndoza couldn't rtvlst tlio temptation to handle It. He ramo to mo one day , with a fllo of sol diers at his back , nml said that ho was awfully sorrj' , hut that the troops had re volted that morning , and made him dictator , ami that unless I left for San Franclao by that day's steamer , he was afraid that ho couldn't restrain tha bloolth rsty Instlocts of the men. I didn't reproach Mem'oza , though ho knew well enough that t understood Just how much truth therei was In hla | > rcteiiso that tits eoldlera had revolted , .1 told him that I would yield only to force , and that If ho wanted me to leave the palace ho would twve to carry n > * out. So he ordered bin mea to handcuff me nod piit me on board th Bttamer which lh > y accordingly elld Th itcamcr was one bc-longlng to my San Francisco firm , and though the captain wa considerably astonished to co me hand cuffed , and offered to take his crew i.m clean out the town , 1 told him It was nl right. And eo It provwl to be. Mendoza had forgotten that I was the United States consul ns well as the president When 1 got back to San Francisco , I com plained to the government that I had been forcibly expelled from Orlmba , and I etc { manded $17.000 ns damages. The govern | mrnt. being glad of a rare chance to dlspln.v j a spirited foreign -jinllcy , sent a man-of-war i to Santa Ilosa without delay , and not only I collected th'.t $17.000 from I'reslden ! Momlora , but required him to resign his ' position as prcs.dcnt In favor of the prosl dent of Central America. The final resul was that Orlraba lost Its Independence , ant became once more a part or Central America nnd that Mendoni had to emigrate or be phot as a traitor. As ho had no money ho probably starved to death In some South Aircrlcan republic. It never leakiod out In the UnlteJ States that 1 had been president ot Orizaba run I shouldn't tell the story nowIf Itwere not that I i.m out ot the consular service for good , nnd am rich enough not to want any more favors from the government. I still foal a llttlo sorry for Mcndoza , for he was a good fellow In his way , though a full treasury was something that ho couldn't keep his hands off. Met must have been col.eldcrnbly i stonlshed at the way I turned the tables on him , and I don't doubt ho wns heartily sorry thnt he hadn't been faithful to me. Any man who docs n mean action In order to moke tnoncj' , nnd finds that he doscn't make It , must feel moro or less sorry It there Is anything good In him. TIPS TOIL ICI.OMHKIMIS. Kootl for Helleetloii Itefore Starting fiir Iho Arctic iHcRldiin. Joaquln Miller , the poet of the Sierras , " who was Induced by n newspaper sjndlcato to go to the Klondike last summer , Is wintering In tl.at Ice factory and manages to get a word back to civilization occasion ally , juat to sho.v what a hilarious time the argonauts are having In midwinter. The 'oy of the poet la ao melancholy as any ol the plain matter-of-fact news that glides down from Daw son. No matter how dark the picture. It Is not likely to deter tut fortune-seekers , but It will enable theslaj - at-hotncs to appreciate what they miss. Amcng other thing. ? the poet MJS that you get jour surplus duds and grub for the trip trarejiorlcd from Uawton City to tide water for from $1,000 to $1500 , Including the privilege of walking the entire dis tance beside the dog teams. An ordinary meal , which would cost , say 15 cents In Omar * . OTC'.B $3.50 lu Uawson. The only dlffcreneo , Eslde from the price , Is that Daw son's caterers dish up caribou steak when It 's not In demand for i ole leather. Flour brings ? .l. a sack , diluted lightning 50 cents n drink. Hero Is Joaquln's picture of the Arctic winter "The davs hero hive now dwindled to n dim little rim of light ; the sun Is sulking away back jondcr somewhere behind the broken Klondike steeps and the huge , bare , white back of Quartz mountain. We have not seen his cheery face for daj-s and days , and do not hope to see It nf ? In for wcekn to come. Uut the moon , the great , white , melancholy moon , lorn and Kirgo and cold , walks In solemn widowhood right up over head , and nround and around we see her all the vast night long , an ] no rly all the narrow strip of day. She is so co'd ' and wliito and ole > mn that E-he Is literally Hue. and looks In her desolate widowhood aw If she. . had Jimt burleJ her lordly spouse , t1 e sun , out of sight forever. I see so nnu'h of her , and so continuously , that I b ve loarnc-d to dread thes ght of her solemn blue-white face and try to foigot to look up nt the great cathoJral stars of gold to get away from the sight of her deathlike visage. Oh" but to sit on my little doorstep In the warm night weather nbovo San Francisco b y and see the twin- horned lamp of a new-hern baby moon light up fie Golden Gate , ami then go timidly and Tcstfully to bed In the warm , wide billows. Txt ! in- but live to see this again nnd I will not go faraway ; at least not In th.s desolate neighborhood nf the north no'e. iFo" Iwas horn to roses , sun- lands , song birds , mo3est moons and warm south werther. < Lot me not be caught hero again , for caught I am like a wary old rat In a trap. The whteness and silence Is of a kind that I abhor , and the thought of my wrm Contra Cost/i / stcps and my llttlo familiar moon lighting the Golden Gate makes me homesick. I would not be tied up In this lorn , desolate largeness an- cthrr winter for nil the Klondike gold j-ou could point to mo with a dozen north poles In a tiousand years. "Truo the summers arc superb ; as glorious In colors i nJ sweet odors as they are brief ; nllvo with water fowl , fishes and fnsect life. And these mighty winters , too , are thillllng nnd Inspiring in the r terrible glorjfcr a time. Uut when you have lived down three months of this vast white < * ilonco , as If nil earth lay still and stark- dead In her white shroud waiting the judg ment' di y , and then find five months still fronting you , why , then jou want to go home. " A uiKIU Ceremony Without CM II Itoil Tapeor MlnUterlal ItlfcH. Without civil red tape or ministerial rites n marriage ceremony was performed recentj" ! as binding as any mich solemn contract pos sibly could be , relates the New York I'ros/5. It was n Qual.er wedding , and took place In the Houao of Friends , in Rast Twentieth stieet , near Third avenue. The bridegroom was Russell Benjamin Hcdson of London , and the bride , Miss I3dlth Haydock , daughter of Sarah A. Hajdock , n minister of the Society of Friends In this city. The llttlo meeting house was crowded with relatives and friends , while many turi ous persons attended to see a man and woman marry themselves. IJeforo the two entered the building a period of silence prevailed ; that sllenro so beloved by Quakers. Annlo S. Knight , a minister of the sosletj' , made a brief prayer and silence , again fell on nil. Then , from a sldo door , the bridal party entered together and unaccompanied. Ho wan conventionally dressed , while the brldo were a modest gray traveling gown. She vvns an unusually sweet-fneed girl , and every detail of her dress , from her hat to the lace edged hem of her gown , was simplicity Itself , mnklng her natural beauty and grace far moro striking than If she were covered with glittering jewels nnd rustling tllks. The two advanced to n center table wliere > ft garland of pure whlto roses lay. Then , turning and looking up Into Iho eyes of her chosen husband , the bride said In a clear , musical voice that Hounded llko a golden wedding bell In 1he silent church : "I take thco , Kuescll flciiijamlii Hodson , to bo mv husband In the presence of God ami this ns- semblj' , and I promise to ho a faithful and loving vvlfo until God shall separate us In deat'i " The deep-vo'red ' bridegroom then repeated the words , substituting her name , and onlj changing the words that were necepharj' . Then hp took one end of the garland of whlto roses , film the other , and they tied the nuptial knot , figuratively and literally. Her half of It was done before the smiling lusband hid romplttcd hie. Toth then signed the marriage certificate and Heibrrt S Tult'o ' , cs best mnn. nnd Amelia Haydock , a s'ntor of the brldo as jrldeiimnld , alao Blgned. Charles W. Law rence clerk of the sotlety , read the certifl- cato 111oud , and the pair clasped hands Thu luptlal prayer vvns tutored , and tlio two were OPO. After that all persons Ii the place , rela- Ivcs , friends or those there out of mere- cudlcsltj * . wcro Invited to go forward and olgn the marrUgo certificate. The rarth moves -Evidence , you can buy n first-clef ] liniment , Salvation Oil. for 25c. Sliii-K lllH Ill-nil In tinMnclilncr ) ST. LOUId. Kob. 4. Daniel CMcClelland , nged 41 , employed in the pilnt works of Ocorgo 8. Mrplmn & Klein , committed Milcldo today by putting his head beneath ho ponderous wheel * of a iniichlno known n u putty chaser. When found the rnan'H lead wax stuck between the wheels and u Hide post , crushed to a pulp. Death must ui vo been Inutuntiineous. No reason kncxvii for the deed. Sudden changes of weather cause throat leease < i , There Is no more effectual rem- < dy for coughi , colds , etc. , than Orowu's Ironchlal Trochee , Sold only In boxes. Price 2G cento. DOOM OF TRAIN ROBBERS Invpntivo Denies Hits the Frofcajion in th Solar Plexus , SURE CURES FOR THE HOLDUP HABIT Ilntlrrlr * of Slin tliir trotm , nirctrlcn Artillery nnd Meiini Cnlluil Into Action to lllNcotir- tlie Hi The contest between honest Intontlv Genius nnd the Inroads of the train robbc on peaceful commerce Is reaching n cllnmx 'Tho patent ofllco Is to bo the scene of th fiercest phase of the war. Talent olTlc records disclose many odd and Interesting Inventions , but none have reached the sen satlonal ingenuity of the numerous Inferna machines whoso object It Is to capture malm for life or kill Inslontly the nian'wh haa the temerity to seek Ill-gotten gain In the strong box of a messenger car. The device that Is the most startling o three Just patented , relates the Washington Post , it guaranteed to perforate a train robber's boJy nlth bullets , riddling bin 11 rough and through like n sieve and leav , 'tiR ' so llttlo of him untouched by lead as to make It a matter of Impossibility to Identify him. The mechanism Is simply fiendish In Us Ingenuity nnd allows the train robber no chance ot eacape. He would ho better of wcro he to stand In front of the business end bf a galling gun nnd bid the artillery man turn the crank. The train robber trap consists of n bat tery of revolvers placed Inside of the car with the barrels pointing through the door Inward the platform which the robber must climb to fcrek nn entrance to the car. Ac cording to the drawings on file In the paten Dfllco , the di , lgn Is to so mask the battery that the robber will sec nothing between Mm and the supposed tieasuro but an In- aoccnt looking door of wood. No sooner tiowovcr , will he step onto the platform ol the car and seize the handle of the door it 'orco an entrance tKin there will bursl 'orth ' a deafening tear , followed by a clo'it ! of smoke , and the rest will be no earthly ; cneetn of the train robber's , for the bullets 'torn half a hundred heavy caliber revolvers will have sped In his dhectlon , and If he Islet lot blown completely from the platform Mi remains will be so tora and mangled as 0 hardly Icive enough of him for t'- \ coioner to hold an Inquest upon. SIMI'In SAKI3TY COX-TIUVANCE. A slmnlo contrivance place" the terrible mttcry at the Instant disposal of the train innds , OT , on the other hand , prevents the possibility of It Ibelng fired. This latter irec.iutlon Is n very nccc.ssary one , fcr If iome i"irt of safety device were not provided ho revolvers would claim more victims 'rom among the Innocent train crows thin 'rom the ranks of the rcbbcrs. A switch noiinls or dismounts the battery. The riggers of all the revrhers are connected > y a movable steel frame , which , when htt itched In ono direction by the releasing of a bolt , coclre the guns , and leaves them \heio the slightest movement on the door 'rom the outsidci will releise a catch The nstant this catch Is released , down come ho triggers , and bang goes every one of the Ifty guns In the battery. It is all done n a fraction of a second. The bolt controlling thei battery Is placed leyond the reach of meddlesome fingers by eln oncaE-c'l In a box within the do-r. the < oy to which Is Intended to ibe In the pos- Ecssicn of the chief incsserger. When wnrnc 1 that nn nttack on the train la Im pending , ho unlocks the box , the action withdraw ing the circular sections of wood that hide from view the musics of th" rovc'hcrs , leaving them with their barrels ready to vomit the- content ? at the critical moment. A turn of the ibolt nnd the gun1' nro ready for action. The train hands need give themselves no further conccin about ho robber. The revolvers will look after ilm. Why th" Inventor should have chosen : o place such a tremendous battery In his nfcrnnl machlro dons not appear. 1'rob- eblv he Intendcl that the mere suspicion : lmt such n machine cxlbte/d , and mlsht JT i-rcd a ? a means of defense on the cars , sfcpJll act as a deterring force In the In- o-csts of honest men If that was his reason for multiplying to such < a startling extent the numbsr of weapons usel In the contrivance. IID certainly argued well , for it must Ibo a r-ftber who knows not the meaning of fenr , nnd i ? bravo to the verge of Inr-anlty. wh ventures to proceed In the 'nco ' of such a terrlUe means of deVns as that prov-Mrl 1 > y the ne.vly patented 'train robber annlhllntor. " ARMORED TURRET CARS. The second contrivances consists of n car urnlshed with ttcel turrets. The patentee of th's machine has apparently borrowed ils Idea from a clcno study of the armored cars of Cuba. At each end of the csr , over the trucks , he has arranged for two capacious forts , connected bv a passageway , nnd having Iron dee s which lock on the In side. Each of these forts is provided with tcel shutters , perforated with loopholes hrough which the guns of the defending crco can bo fired In all directions on the nvaders. The Inventor does not Intend to make any ttompt at defense of the wooden car. All ho fighting Is to be done from the turrets , n his drawings ho has allowed room In ho armo-cd cage for the safe and any other alued pofhcfcslors of the company , nnd has placed racks for the reception of rlflrs. Vhcn attacked the train hands retire to heir armored fort , and then flio rluht or eft , or If the robbers succeed In effectlnz n entrance to the car , thov can bhoot hrough Icopholes In the steel floor. Cven f one turret Is captured the game Is not up , for the train hands can retreat along ho passage to the other turret , and , lock- ng the Iron door behind them , begin the ght all over again , and bin/to away n long H ammunition lasts. Hut thin last device Is n merciful QHP , In hat It gives a man n fighting chance for Is Ilfo , and docs rot May him without vnrnlng , as does the first Invention de- crlbed. TUG PARBOILING PLAN. Another Is Intensely cruel , hut I > 3 not In- ended to kill the train robber. It Is merely fbtlned to parboil him half to death and eave him contorted with agony until the rain hands pounce upon him and make him n easy prisoner. In this CBRO the Invpntor EsiimcB that the robbers have gained pos- cFrflon of the car and have teirorl/ed the uwsengcr so that lu > has consented to un- uck the safe. It IB part of the scheme f this Inventor that the safe bo placed 1 one > particular part of the ear. The art- ul messenger , umlor the gentle stimulant f u leveled revolver In the hands of the rain rol'jer , awumes frightened compliance Ith lilH wishes , anJ. pulling out his kuyH , olTera to lead the rnbbei where the treasure Is sccuied , The Invention provides for a sliding door Inimr * ! alely In front ot tha safp , and In closing that corner of the car In which thn immonger would stand to unlock the door nf the strcng box As the nie-isongcr pre bcj hh fcot on a rprlng In the door of the cai , the precise- position of which Is known only to hlmuclf. Iho sliding i'cor tboots Into Ita place shutting h in off from the robber and Inclosing the messenger within a mvvly made [ ompaitir.eit through whldi the robber could dlschaige his firrarniH vvlthoit the lo t possibility of any bul'ct pentttatlng to wheru Iho meEtenger Eiaida Hut the r bber would have by ibis time turned tils attention to himself , for , with thec los'ng of the sliding door , there will appear before Us ttartled eyn a row of pipes. Hcforo he will have had time to hazard n guess i B to the imaiilng of this remarkable ehnngo In the aspe.-t of affairs ho will 'bo ' enveloped In a binning , bind ing , agonizing olcuJ of eteani which will burst from the row of pipes and strike Ulm with fearful force It will bo nn [ 'iiomy from which csiapo will bo Im possible If the tn In rubier 'B ' not so com pletely trolled as to bo fit only for a hospital ivnrd ho will ondeavcr to crawl away from ihlB hUslnrf , burning scalding demon , whoso lery liieath la scorching him to the very joneu. Hut whither will he turn to get away from the steam , vvhleh in a few seconds will nil the cart ? The answer to th'-s question la If ft to the hapless victim , The Inventor has left no nay of escape. Ho was not racking his trains to ni ko the tortnro easier for the train robber. Having parboiled him , ho leaves him to crawl out of the scrape the best way ho can. His Invention Is for the benefit of the train hands , not for the robbpr Ho has shown this by allowing a mrans of p c po for the messenger In case the con finement within the scaled corner In which ho has secluded lilmslf becomes too Irk some. In the roof Immediately over the corner where the strong hot Is to bo placed the patentee's robber-proof car Is provide ! with a trap door that Is securely bulled on the Inside. Uy climbing on the & 'fo the messenger Is able to reach the rooof ttio car and so scramble along to where he can secure help , not so much for himself as for the unfortunate crook who Is being steamed to death In the car that ho had hoped to rob. STEAM PIlOTECTni ) ENGINES This steam battery Is always ready for action. Pipes run along the Inside walls of the car and thence are connected with the holler on the engine. Ammunition In unlimited quantities Is always en tap With such n terrible reception awaiting him no this bath of steam , the traln-ToMilng crnft may 'bo forgiven If they rctlro from the business of raiding trains and take up the less dangerous ono of attacking police stations. Another Invention Is Intended to trans fer the steam torture to the loromottvo of the train. It frequently happens that trnln raMilng begins with nn nttack on the engineer , with the object of bringing the train to ft fctnmMlll. A hot reception awaits the systematic train rol > ber . who begins his nefarious scheme In this man ner. ner.The Invention consist" of a battery of steam pipes all nround the top nnd side. ? t of the locomotive. The engineer opens n vnlvo , nnd Instantly the hot steam Is blown ! lu every direction , while sliding steel plates which can bo let down all over the windows dews In the cab , place the engineer nnd fireman Insldo nn Impregnable barrier , from whence 'they ' can ilefy the bullete of the attacking force , while holding them off , with the BtQrm of steam Should the robbcn ? ibe persistent and at tempt to circumvent the locomotive steam | defcn o by climbing up on the pilot nnd i parolnjz. along : the running 'board nt the side- ' of the engine , the engineer , by means of n lever lndo ! the cab , can lilt the running board Inwardly , nnd as this board Is armed w llli sharp epikes nlong Its edge' , the rob ber will find himself wedged In between the penetrntlng points of the Sjilkca. nnd Ilm uncomfortably wjrm side of the briler , nnd here ho will bo flrmlv held until the next station Is roached. when , what l.s left of him , may l > e tokpn to the lockup or the hospital , according to the amount of life left in him. AN ELECTRIC THIEF-TAKER In another sensational Invention for de , fending the traveling treasure chest the tnxentor has'been ' more merciful than cither of the other two , but even with this device .ho train robber had 'better ' insure his life before stalling on his thieving cnterprlne. It will glvo him a shock Unit he will re member to hl3 last days. A powerful electric battery Is connected with the safe by means of wins i mining tl rough the sides nnd connectel with a battery concealed In the roof of the car In freiit of the safe is n steel mat , \vhleh s attached to the Lattery by wires. Tlie tMef will Imagine that he has n clear field before him , for It Is Intended that the cafe si-all bo placed within easy reach of his mnd , and in a spot that can be conveniently cached. On be will come- , with a coiteiitej nnlle on his face , and n this-ls-dead-eisv feeling In his mind. When he comes In noximlty to tlie steel mat a change will cmo over the spirit of his dreams akin to bat which WQG experienced by the EiVT'e vho seized hold of Captain Nemos electric landrail when bearding the Nautilus in lulcs Verno's wonderful ronnnce When the iobbcr'8 bind touches the landle of the sifu nnd he begins to tri- impbant'y tuin the knob he will be par- clyrcd , twisted Into n knot and his thieving unU'lon smashed Into trembling penlt-nc jy the most tremendous shock that mortal can experience and biirvlve. It will all have como about through the nails in his shoe ? coming In eontT-t with the electric mat and thus completing the clicult There vill bo no letting go. So long as his ban 1 Is on tl'o knob trtul his metal-clad feet on the rat the torture will continue. TURN ON THE LIGHTS. Sonic slight gleam of mercy Is shown in ho awful tortuio devised by the Inventor of tblb thief trap. Immediately over the lectilcally protected safe the hivciitor ha1 * daccd an Incandescent lamp , which bursts nto light as soon ns the robber eomp'ctos ho circuit and ptcps Into the torture chim- > er. It Is the Intention of the inventor that his llglu shall dlsclc.ie the presence of the obber , s > o tbnt help can come before he Is ortiired to death. Ho has apparently over- ooked tha fnc > t 'that ' the cries of the tor- ured iran will be ejulte sufficient In them elves to bettay his prcfonce. The robber is to be released by means o' a switch , which turi.a off the current Pre- umably ho will only be free when those i ho guard the car have covered him with VIn hcsters and mada sure that there is no fight left In him. The patent ofilce ofilcials have passed hcEo three senratlonal devices , so that. In ho opinion of those who are competent to udgc , they are net bo freakish and Impos ibio ol adoption os may seem at first sight \ nether or not the lallroads will reward ho inventors by p-julpplng their roads with ho contrivances renalm to hii seen It Is obtain that the trainrobbingfritcrrity may jcgln to view the situation with apprchen- lon , for the mere thought of such tortiir- ng weipexns Is enough tc frighten the bold- st desperado Into forsaking the crooked vay s. Children and adults tortured by burns calcie Icijurlci. ' , eczema or skin elise , ses may ecuro li'Htant relief by using PeWltt's Witch lazel Sa'vc It Is the great Pile remedy. Tr.-iln ItiuiN Into n Siioiv plow. LAWRENCE. Mich , . Kob , 4. Train No. 4 n the Southhnven it Eastern n.iirovv gauge oid . wrecked hero ttday nnd nt least half do/en people vveie Injuied , It was he tlr-it train through Klncn WemlneMlay eon nnd left hero at & .IO. About n mile rom the st uion the- snow plow Jumped the rack nnd vv is piled Into by the two loco- lotlves which drew the trnln and the t vo oaebcH The Injuted nro : Generil M in- gir Al V. Mciedlth , face bully tiurnod ; Irakeman Lew llcrlmiiH faces burned nnd miiv be Internally Irjniid ; Chief Engineer ; Drew IPKH hurt , O V. HaiiKS. Lake C'ora , eft foct smi hi'd , Chariot ) Mill , Paw Piiv , eft leg badly hurt mid flee burn d. One nglne 'wan ' ruined nnd the other bally .imaged. Arnold's Hrotno Cefry currs hcadacbca , lOc.2rc nnd fiPc All diuqglftts. TtrenO-Tito l.iieomolU ifor Europe PHILADELPHIA , Keb. I. 'no Hrltlsh steamer Majestic ! mn been chat tired to carry twenty-two locomotive H and a gen eral cnri'o from this port to the Finland government T e loe1 motives nre being shipped by the Halilvvm works The eon- KlKiiment eonnlsts of ten p.uHnKir and twclvi freight inglnes At the Ilaldwln works locomotlvm are being bill t for Nor way , Japiu , Africa and oth r e'oiintrles which formerly got tiem from o JUT pliec.i. Try Qrain = O ! TryGrain-OI | As\ you O'ofer to day to uliovv you n jiaaiagoof OUAIN-O , the now food d.isrtlhnt tuVs the jilueo lit coffee. 'Jho eh.Idrci nuy driuV it without inju.y in vvo'.I aj t jo tulu'.l. ' AH who try it , llko i' . ( JHAIN'-O lias that itch Heul blown of Modi i or J.iva , but it id undo from [ iiiro ijralns , and ( ho most deli -n'.o B'XHIIIIO'I receives it withoutdiBtress. thopricoof coffue. 1C cents mill i5 ! cents pur jmckage. f5old by all jirowrd. Tastes like Coffee Looks like Coffee IntUt that your grocer gives jonQItAIN-O Accept no Imitation. TOILET AND BATH requirements arc perfectly met In Wool Sonp. There may be more expensive soaps , but nuns betle. . / / it > . 'saluttrt ' [ < tirt. For - > r - \ the bath It la pleasant , sooth Inp nnel delight * lu ) . 1 here's only one M > ap that \\o'i't shrink woolens , You muM choose be- My Mama I Wish Mlno UaoJ Mot ) tuccn no soap and .Mother * ! MotnrrMI Mother * ! ! ! Mrs. Wlnntow'n ScothlnK Syrup tin * been for over to ycnr lit millions of mothers lot their children while teething \\lth not feet sue * ceBB. It toothcs the child , Foftcno the Kill" ' , nlliijn nil pain , cures wlnJ i-ollc. nnd I * the lion rcmeilf for Dlnrrhoen. SoUl by ilniRglnls In every I'nrt of the woilil. He mro niul n. k for "Mra Wlnilrw'i SoothltiK S > riu > " anil take no other ktni ! K cents n liottlp AVIi > ( Id > ( iu Miilk alioiit ln If ill-nil f AVIi > ( Id jou shiver unit ntinkef \ \ li > ( Id jou Ircinlilc vvlicu jdii nee Ndiuc Irlllliiu dinmer lie- Tori * 5 ( in f Onl ) liecniKC j oil lire jtixt lintfn IIIHII nml no ) n WHOM : ( inc. I'll ii jou not ! NCC thnt > on lire KelltliK Morse Trniii ila > lo lint , ( oof A\'li > ulidiilil jdiif \dii Know that "lliulj nn" tins sin cd tlidii- NiiuilH llldii thdllsninlH oT e isi-s tlititvrre i * > er MO iniirli ivor i * I tin n jour own \\Iij not let It 8II\ | ' jouf < ' 'n r liclim it wenK- Hi1 niniil' . Ari > joii nfi-ild ( hat jon IIIMI * none too fnrf Do mil worrj. There are plcntj of V\IIJN for jou to liiMMinii1 iiNsiireil ( hat jour i\eiil > ut-sNeN can he overcome \\rlti-lllKln K for vonic lii-ddf of K ( o ( ho liiKlltlltc. II will not cdsl jou iiujdiliiK. " ( ' ( wliu ( IIIIN he en dour Tor ( In1 rr l ( if I lir worlil. Vud xecllip he- tll-M1 ! Hudson Medical Institute , siiu-Kldii , Market ami Ullls < < ( N. , .sail Krant'lNoo , ( "iillliirnlii. If joii are lu < louh ( UN ( o whether j no Iia\e lilnoil tuliit la auj of KM foi ait MrKf for "Illl-dnj hlood ctirc" clreMi- larn auil ( csduioulalM. ' 1 licj art * ( | illlc ii M frt-t1 UN "Ilmti an" Inloraiallon , and NO IN ( he IH-M ( and ( ho MinarcNl UUM- Ii-tI in\lci- ! lu the \\orld Searles & Searles SPECIALISTS Riinruntoc tn cure Hiiocillljunil null. cully all M3KVOli > , CUItOMO A r IMIIVATIS illticiiHCH of lli'ii nnd vtoinuiu WEAK H.N SYPHILIS SUXUALLY. cured for life. Night Kmlsslons , Lei > t Manhood , IIj' /Srocele , Vericocele , Qonorrhoa , Gleet , Sj'ph- . Ills , Stricture , Piles , Fistula and Kectal Ulcers , DlaboteB. I3rlht's ( Disease cured. Consult ition Free- by new method -without pain or cutting. Gallon or address with stamp. Treatment by mall , DfiS. SEARLES 8 Mitt. OiVlA MEDICAL AM ) tasfifufe AH 1 O D SPECIALISTS In the treatment of nil Clir.nic , Kcrvous anj Pr.vatc DIssasjs , nml nil WF.AKMiaSKS llSFfil niul IHMXfDr.ktt Oi > tllUfl Cntnrrli , ull Dlbeu-ox of tlie N' e Tiio.it , Chest Hluinuch , I.hei , llh , . .I . t-l.ln mid Kldnvy Ilia- euf-cs , Ixjut Munhou.l llj.liocclumleoiilv . , Uonoirlicii , Uleile h > | i.illl tiiiicturu , I'llcn , n - tulu nnd IteclHl I'liein Dliilji-iis llrlK u'u Uls- eneo cutpil. Lull on cr niHiF vvltli vluinn tot TUB Jlnok uml New MUh > < Ig. 'I'l'i'iilnienl li > Mull , ( iiilKiildillnii free. dlu Metlica an I Su'glaal Institute HOOIII 8 , 117'i Noah ictli fat. . Omaha. Ntl . rnjetlfib Dluniuiid llrand * Orlirlnol ami Onlr Ornulnr. ore l .n rrll.t.le L Dua i > k luiunlit iff nicliiiliri InMili lila / fttouJIrani / lu Ht.l ti4 ttvti ludMliu\ ! | t.oi-t ctkil wliu lluo rliiino Tukn jnuollirr. lttfitttdurtgtrout fubilifu * Bull Ldl Uc l UtJljIiu , AJAXT > BLtTB UluiTIVI'LY CnitK S 61 ° r7'lnw.or.t.i , Hluai.loiuixa , etc , ciueo.1 , V U7 Alimu ur cl ! > < ir l.ic i-cj ontt Jndla- .Aii CfCjtuiK. J'f i/ iiuli.lu unit furtlu ic-y / . . .oijiiuforktuljr , Imslnwjor marrlaa" . dv ii > l'rpT"nt luacilcnl CoiuuaiMli n If mn In ( fiao. Shjlr IIM' ' h.v a lumodlato frntrots. iat. . " ° l - . . .t'J"'V ' : ' ' , . l" " " . "H nthcrfairin. fis it upan ) mtl.i ( ( tlio ffnulnaJnx Tnlileti. Tlitr h .vocarpjlhou ondaanlulllcurtrou. WoRlrjopoj. . Itlranrlttenutiiirantno to effect a euro Cfi fiTC1 In ooch uiMjor rojund the monojr _ I'rlcnuU uJOirr . for ! In Omubft oy jauie < Foriylb.'lttl' KuhD OE'CO iMIi anil Douxlni Klr * l . \\UHIJI ttnd foa n CT (51 day ( rial Irottnc'iil ut tU 1 mntli. Itnaitdi CALTHO3 On. ( " l.n li'ii uuA o lt.il m&rtnlxj tin. ; CALTIICJII win BTdl * fU ) < linrtrfl nnd I'uilMtoui , CCUI.I pfrmiiurrhiuurlcucclc * uni ) Iioroiu : Lot Hgor , O It cn l you nothing to try It. TDURSEIFI i I'll : JCORE for unnaturU dlicliargti , lDD roimllon . IrrllKljin or ulcertllont uuiir * . i > f la u o ( i tt fl lutnjLrtnit. .u Miuiita. tV.aliii , tad nut tilrln * lTMlE lOHUicuCo * " ' poUoooui. \cm5iHfUji.o.BEi B"ld bir 1 > - ° u' i T Hot la U0 | HIIpMf. r i > ri > i , DrtptM , tit . .W..ori.iala . , | J.TI. jr MM & * * IM | |