20 THE OaiAITA DAILY HE IS ; SITX1)AT , XOVI3M1JI3K 8 , 180(5. ( JOHN CLARKESADVENTURE ; _ _ Saved His Mother's Lean Cow by Using the Beehive with Discretion. HY HV Kit KTT T.TOM UN8OX. < fViyilnM | , IMfl , liy thr Author ) "The red ciKita are coming ! I can hear their bugles down the rond. " Young John Clarke ran toward his homo shouting these word * one morning In Au gust , 1TSO. Although he WM but 1C > yonrs of age , ho had been for aaveral weeks the sole protector of his nnthcr and sisters , for his father and brothers were In the continental army with Slimier , nnd had had a share In the capture of the redoubt nt AVaterco Ford nnd the forty-four supply wagons which had been sent from NJnoty- lx. Hut Cornwnllls and Tnrlcton wore sharp In their pursuit , and nil the frlonda of the colonies were nlnrmcd , ns well they might be. John Clarke was returning from the \\-eods , where ho had led the one lean cow- that remained of all the stork on the farm , for Tnrli ton's men had raided It of all else. Hut difficult ns It was to provide s.methlng to eat , the constant fear of nsanult.t by thu Ilrltlsh .was even worno. and this morning all his fears seemed to be realized when ho heard the bugles In the road. "Perhaps they won't come here , " said his mother. "It's fortunate our house U so far fram the road. " John shook his head. He knew from the tone of Ills mother's voice that she was fearful , nnd ho watched her OH she busied ore to receive their stings , for ho was going ton swiftly for that. Hut right near them was this body of horsemen , nnd doubtless they must be the one to blame , and the nngry bees swiftly started for them. Few of the soldiers hail noted the movements of John nfter ho hnd passed them , nnd were In consequence una- wcru of t'it ' > cnusc ot the trouble that soon besot thorn , THE FUN THAT FOLLOWED. John glanced behind him as ho passed out of the Inne Into the road. He hnd thrown asldo thn hive ns soon ns hu was satisfied It was empty nnd sped on his wny. Hut It was a sight which he never forgot which ho looked back upon. The horses wore rcnr- Ing , nnd plunging , nnd kicking out In every direction. Already ninny of the men had been thrown , and unable to discover the cnusc of the confusion were blaming ono an other , and some were using their lists upon their companions' faces. Some of the rider less horhoi were running nbout the lane , and their riders were trying to catch them again ; but mnny stopped to clnp their hatiih to thulr faces nnd apparently forgot all about their steeds. Some of the men nnd horses nlrendy were disabled by the kicks which were so frrely Indulged In , nnd above all arose the cries nnd shouts of the men In their confusion nnd fear. "It's time for me to put out , " said John ns ho snw the leader , astonished by the cries of his men nnd the scene before him , run quickly from the house and Join his com panions. The lad accordingly leaped from Ills horse's back , struck him with n switch , wV r-M * ( /'x-S-j ! ! X. . -L ! / . v.r , 'v ' > r/7 A - t. W , U2 feJ - n HOUSES \ViilE HEARING , RUNNING AND KICKING OUT IN EVERY DIRECTION. herself In hldlng'the few vnlualdes that yet remained. He Roon went out to the plnzzn , nnd standing by one of the low postu kept his gaze on the place where the Hrltlsh would first appear. There wa.s nothing In nil the landscape , however , to Indicate the presence of danger. The leaves upon the trees were motionless nnd the glare of the August nun was over all. The locuMs were busy and he could see the bees as they went In and out of the row of hives that stood by one side of the Inne that led from the road to the house. U was an Ideal summer day , but John's observations were suddenly Interrupted by the blasts of thu buglers and the approach ing men swept Into sight around the bend In the road. "Thcro must be fifty of them , " said John. "About half of them , nrc red coatsami , half are torlcs , " bo nddcd , ns he saw that only a portion were clad In the Ilrltlsh uni form. He was not left long In doubt as to their Intentions , however , for after halting a mo ment by the entrance to the lane , the entire body swerved from their course and started toward the house. "They're coming up the lane , mother. " ho said , ns ho entered the room. "We'll' hnvo to act as If we're not nfrnld. even If we nro frightened so that wo don't know our own names. " Till ? HRITISH SOLDIERS. His mother smiled , but John noticed that eho wan very pale. Hut she was a resolute woman and already had had experience with the Ilrltlsh officers , ns many of the South Carolina mothers had hnd. "We'll do our best , " tiho said no she sent the girls uiwtnlrs nnd took her plnco besldu John on the piazza to await the approach of the soldiers. They all were mounted , and the horses plainly had been ridden hard. The leader called n halt ns his troops drew near the house , and. leaping to the ground , he took off his hat and , bowing low , advanced to speak to .Mrs. Clarke. "Hnvo I the honor of addressing Mis tress Clarke ? " "Yes. sir , " she replied , waiting for him to declare his errand. "I have no doubt , madam , that yon art , " loyal to your king. " "I had a king onco. but I have none now. Perhaps you will better know my feelings when I tell vou that mv husband and twt , of my sons are now with Sumtcr. " "Doubtless I soon shall have the pleas ure of making their acquaintance. " replied the soldier with a sneer. "Indeed , wo nro bound upon that errand now. Hut mean while wo nro In need of supplies , nnd In eplto of your feelings must search your " Idaee. "I hear you need supplies. " replied the undaunted woman , "for It Is reported that Bomo forty of your wagons are In the hands of the patriots. " The soldier's face took on a scowl as ho replied. "Unfortunately they nre , but mark my words , my good woman , the rebels won't cat much. They'll soon lose their appetites. Hut meanwhllo I must see what can bo had here. " "Your men have stolen everything al ready , and you'll not find anything. " Hut the soldier made no reply and with three of his followers began to search the house , homo wore sent to the barn and for n few minutes nothing was said by John or his mother. Hut the lad was not one to glvo up Idly , although fifty red coats were near. Suddenly his faei. lighted up. Ho had thought of n plan by which ho'mlghb over come these Invaders of the homo , but he said nothing to hu mother of the project In bin mind , JOHN'S OFFER. "Wo are not nblo to find anything hero , but I doubt not you have something of use lo ua concealed somewhere. " said the leader. " , ' . ' . .Soiwo llavo " slol < up John quickly. \ \ o have OHO poor lean cow left , but she's out In the woods and you can't get her " "Hut you can , you young rebel , " replied the soldier angrily. "Olio cow Isn't much , but It's better than nothing. You drive her In and bo quick about It. " John started obedient to the words , and disregarding the reproachful looks of his mother. "Children and fools always speak the truth , madam , " ho said as John left the house. "Hero ! Hero ! " he called out is hu ran to thu pbzzo. "You take ono > f the horses. It'll save time nnd wo have ao moro of that than wo hnvo of supplies. " John's heart leaped ut the words. If ho hail contrived the plan himself ho could not have been suited better. Ho started quickly for ono of the horses , which had been tied to the rail fence , and leaped quickly upon Its back. "That's nil right , " called out the lender to some of his men who were about to In tercept John. "lie's going on an errand for mo. " Assured by his words , John slowly walked his hoi-so past the men , most of whom were still mounted and Impatiently awaiting the coming of their leader. As the lad passed the row of beehives ho leaned from his horse and quickly lifted oi.o of the boxes to his uhoiildcr. U was but the work of a mlnuto to tear the cover , and then ho etrticK his horse on the neck and started him Into a swift run. Meanwhile the furious bees were not Idle , They poured forth In n stream from their broken homo , ready to visit their ven geance upon their enemies. Hut ho who had so rudely seized the hive wtu not the and ns he started back , ho himself quickly sought the shelter of the woods by the road side. In spite of his danger and fear , he rolled ovi-r nnd over upon the ground In his glee ns he saw the troopers all sweep by him. Ho had won and soon returning to the house hu explained what hu had done to his aston ished mother and sisters. "Yon never saw such n sight In your life as those men were when they passed me. Some of them had their eyes closed by the stings , and sonic had such swollen lips that they couldn't do anything but swear Yes , they swore like troopers. " ami the boy laughed aloud as he spoke. "Then some of them had noses swelled to the size of powder horns and some were rubbing their broken shins and blaming each other for all the trouble. Hut they're all gone now , and It Is the first tlma on record when the continentals shot the red coats with bees , I think I'll have to tell General Wash ington nbout It , for it's better than powder and bnlls. " CLKVKII KI-MMS. Knur TriilntMl Trli-U CIIM Who Support Tlu-Jr .Maxtor. "Theynre Just common cuts. " remarked the professor. "ThereIs nothing particular about them except that they have lived with mo two years and will do anything to plcnso mo no matter how they dlallkc It. Now , Prince , there , thnt brlndle fellow , has a particular dread of fire ; watch him. Prince , you scoundrel ! wake up there , and come hero to me. " Prince , who was taking a genuine "cat nap" on his high stool , stirred lazily and looked undecided whether to obey or not. "I'm getting ready. Prince ! " the trainer admonished , taking a box of matches from his pocket. There was a soft llttlo thud i mo so that I won't have to us ? It. Cats never like nolso or confusion. Any one familiar with their nature/ will understand how much I have had to contend with In training them. " niiM.ic-rr.n I.ICIIT. An i\trnorillimr.v , ; ( < > iisr tin Hit- ConM ( nf SiMillnml. The most extraordinary of all lighthouses is to be 'found In the Hebrides , Scotland , on Armlsh Rock , which Is separated from the Island of Lewis by a channel over COO feet wide. On this rock a conical beacon Is erected , and on Its summit n lantern is tlxccl , , from which night after night shines a light which Is seen by the fishermen far and wide. Yet there Is no burning lamp In the lantern , nnd no attendant ever goes to It , for the simple reason that there Is no lamp to at tend to , no wick to trim and no oil to replen ish. ish.Tho The way In which this peculiar lighthouse Is Illuminated Is this : On the Island of Lewis , COO feet or so away , Is a lighthouse , and from n window In the tower a stream of light Is projected on a mirror In the lantern an the summit of the Armlsh Rock. These rays are reflected to an arrangement ot prisms , and by their action nre converged to n focus outside the lantern , from which they diverge In the necessary direction. The consequence Is thnt to all Intents and purposes a light house exists which has neither lamp nor lighthouse keeper , -and yet gives as service able a light taking Into account the re quirements of this locnllty ns If nn elaborate nnd costly lighthouse with lamps , service room , bedroom , living room , storeroom , oil loom , water tanks and all other accessories were erected on the summit of the rock. I'HATTIiU OK THU YOUNRSTIillS. Mamma Oh , Hilly ! Don't you know It Is cowardly to strlko your llttlo brother ? Hilly ( Indignantly ) I'm not acting llltu a SOME INTELLIGENT CATS. us Prlnco Jumped to the floor , and then ho came slowly forward bcforo the footlights ; thu footlights being only figurative In this cane , for It was daylight and they were not lit. "They are lazy In the morning , " re marked 1'rlnco's master. "You know It Is the nature- cats to bo most active at night. It IB at night that they catch the mout rats. " The profetaor , holding up a gayly striped hoop ho selected , bid I'rlnco Jump through It. This ho did two or three times and , then same Inflammable stuff was put on the hoop ; It was set on fire , and the docllo cat , after demurring n short time and showing plainly his disinclination , leaped through the llamlng circle , This donu hu ran off to bin stool nnd assumed bin old attitude ns much us to say that ho had bad enough of such doings. METHODS OF TRAINING. "How do I train them ? " said the profes sor. "Not by bribing , nor1 yet through fear. I should never feel thnt I could trust them It I depended on such means. I huvo been constantly with my cats , talked to and petted them us though they were children , I found out their ( unto In the way of eating and catered to It , and treated them well , but I never got a cat to comu to mo merely because I had something ho wanted. Watch NlRger kiss me. " Ho stooped over the black cat on the stool nvxt to Prlnco , and the animal lifted its head ud rubbed thu limn- tcr's cheek affectionately , licking his car with his tongue , "Nigger turns n backward somersault , " the writer was told. "He la the only cat living who In nblu to dn It. " "What first mndo mo think of training cats ? " "Well. I had trained dogs , horses , mon keys nnd kaiiReroo. My knngcroo were n great success , but I took them to Chicago nnd they died. The climate wns so differ ent and they were not used to It. One dny while walking near a pond In the suburbs of London I saw an old lady nnd banket. She had a cat In the basket nnd she offered two boyi who were Idling near C pence If they would drown It. They were crazy for the Job , but bad nothing to tic the cat with and came to ask me for a piece of cord. Always fond of animals I hated to see the creature killed , and ns I hnd n plceo of string In my pocket I offered to tlo the vic tim for tho.ii. They earned the C pence and the eat , or half-grown kitten , wns pitched Into the pond. I purposely tied the string so thnt It could get loose , nnd had the satis faction afterward of seeing It scramble out dreiiehcd nnd shivering nnd crawl nft In the sun. I discovered nccldentnjly two or three days Inter thnt that kitten had found Its way back to Its old home , certainly ten miles from the pond. It had been carried to thu spot In n closed basket , and the fact that It hnd sense enough to make Its wny back suggested to mo that cats could be- trained. A STAR CAST. "And did you begin with the klttci. ? " "Yes. Darkle there , with the white soot In his forehead. Is that Identical kitten. I hnd no difllculty In persuading the old lady to let mo have him. All my cat-actors were given to me ; Mr. Prince , proud ns ho looks now. was n smlty little kitten sitting In tire nshes of n chimney corner down south. I had stopped Ir. nt a negro cnbln In Vir ginia to get out of n shower nnd ho looked at me so Intelligently when I stroked him , thnt I begged him from his mistress. " "Tom was born on board ship. Ho 1ms f bit of maltcsc blood , iut It doesn't Inter fere with his work. Ho can walk further nn two less than any cat I have. Gel up Tom ami give an exhibition. " A white cat , ono of thu aids , ami not n star of the company , was put Into n canopied doll carriage nnd Tom mndo to push the oqulpago with his front feet while walking upright. "Tb.1" grjy fellow hero Is being trained for n clown , " said the professor , Indicating a snub-nosed looking cat who were n fool's cap on his head. I call him \Vnmb.i. I've only I'nil him two months , but he Is very promising. When he has learned n partlcu- j-vtx- i.-nl lrs"-"ii I plvi him n treat In the chape of a sunbath. I hive n sunny window uc ! > o cushioned scat In my room , nnd li > i him stretch off thcro nnd doze to his heart's content. " "What do I fcexl them on ? " "Meat. Game If I can net It , or chicken. Neither milk nor cream. I can actually sec Tom smile when he cftn get hold of n bird's wing. I ID'S been a bad fellow In his day I fear. I have not known him from birth Now I will have them all dance a quadrille , " nnd motioning to the musicians to play , the violins struck up and the troop wns formed Into a very good Imitation of a square set. "It has required a great deal of practice to teach them the figures. " observed the trainer , ns hp cracked his whip and the dancers tripped about the stage. "If you notlco I never touch them , but they don't llko the sound of the whip nnd try to please coward. I'm pretending I'm his papa , nnd I'm punishing him. Little- Johnny says ho likes his Sunday school better than ho docs his duv school. In Sunday school , ho says , when ho does anything the teacher only says : "I wouldn't do that. Johnny ; " but In the day school out comes the ruler. "Hobble. I should think you were too old in allow your mother to put you to bed a" night. " "Pooh ! That's nothing , Father Is a good deal older that I , and she puts him to bed every morning. " A Judge's llttlo daughter who had atccmled her father's court for the first time wns very much Interested In the proceedings. After her return homo she told her mother : "Papa mndo a speech , and several other mon made speeches lo Iwulvo men who sat all together and then these twelve nlen were put in a dark chamber to bo developed , " A llttlolyenrold occupied an upper berth In the sleeping car. Awaking oneo In the middleof the night , his mother asked him If ho know whuro ho was. "Tourso I do" ho replied. "I'm In the top drawer. " Thu eye of llttlo Elslu was attracted by the sparkle of the dow at early morning. "Mamma , " oho exclaimed , "lt' hottcr'n I thought It wns. Look here , tbo grasv Is all covered with perspiration , " The children of a clergyman were dUcusn- Ing the rvaiomi why their father forbade their going to the circus. "Ho thinks It's wrong , " salil ono of them , "because It's cruel to the hornet to m.ike ihem go around the ring so fuct. " "I dou'l bellovo that's the reason , " observed another. "It must ho because thp actora get hurt sometimes. " "I guess ho thinks It's wrong , " suggested a third , "because yon don't lenni anything nt n clrctiH , nnd llSs n wnsto of money. " "No , that ain't It ! " said the youngest. "He thinks It's wicked "cnuso It's lots ot funl" " ' uossit" - ' \ riHU'i.i- : . In 1847 a Lieutenant Maclagan Joined the Madras division of the Indian nnny , nnd In 1S52 , nfter applying himself diligently to the duties of his profession , studying languages nnd eventually becoming Interpreter of his regiment , retired. This Lleutcunnt Mncln- gan nnd the present nrchblshop of York arc one nnd the same person , and besides his pension ho new draws a salary of $50.000 n year. Probably nn nrchblshop drawing a military pension Is unique in the nnnnls of the church. The last of the Vallnndlghnms niovul nway Inst week from the little town ot Lls- bcn. Columbliiia cou ty. O. , where the family has occupied n mansion since ISO" . Mucli of the old furniture wns sold nt auction nnd was eagerly competed for. The Vnllnndlg- hams were , on the paternal side. Huguenots nets ; on the maternal , Scotch-Irish. They came from French Flanders , the original name being Van Lindeghcm. Michael Van Lnndrghcm and Jane , -his wife , were prob- nbly the first of the family to cmlgrnte to America. They settled In Stnfford county. Virginia , In 1890. The late archbishop of Canterbury wns very popular with children , and In this con nection a friend tella mo n good story nbout a clever S-year-old American girl who was visiting n country house with bur parents ai n time when the nrchbtahop wns nlso a guest there. So Interested did she become In him that she threatened to monopolize the con versation entirely. Finally her father brought her up sharply with n whispered "Shut up , Mable. " It Is needless to say that she shut , and then the nrchblshop began to do nil the tnlklng. To the child who had Just been rebuked , the favoritism shown to the visitor becntno Intolerable. , and In the middle ot one of his periods n small , stern volco plpled out : "Shut up , archbishop. " A friend of the late William Hamilton Gibson tells the Hartford Conrant this pretty Btory : "One day ho wns taking plc- turca of water through the trtca , and liitu cf woodland , In company with Gibson , when the latter'suddenly raised his hands above his head and prtsacd both wrlats together to form a vase-like hollow with his handc Into this quickly fluttered down from th" trees a llttlo bird. Mr. Gibson then gontl } drew his hands down toward his face and made caressing soumU to his little pris oner , who showed no * lgns of fear. At the same time n tiny squ rrel crept down the trunk of the tree against which Mr. Gib son was leaning , and , putting his forcpaws on his shoulders , listened , unafraid , all the whllo turning his quick llttlo head from aldo to nlde , no the nrtlst uttered the half- whispered , balf-whintlcd murmured sound : : that were charming the bird. " During the turbulent times that have como upon Turkey In recent months , there have been mnny Inquiries among foreigners for Osmnn Pasha , the hero of Pluvnn. What was ho doing ? What would be his place ir. case of domestic or foreign war ? How were bis talents , bclug utilized to keep the slinky fabric of Turkish empire together ? These questions were nskcd. but they were asked In vain until three weeks ngo a Ger man correspondent found thnt Abdul Hnmld hnd promoted this lion of the field to his own palatial kitchen. Osmnn wns , nnd Is. the "scnler of tlio Imperial food. " When nil the dishes hnve been prepared fojtin. . nultnn , the hero of Plevna proceeds to the kitchen , the correspondent says , nnd scaU them up , to prevent any possibility of their being poisoned. The seals arc kept Intact until the dishes reach the table , where they nro broken under the sultan's own eyes. Written for The lieu. A wild wind blew from tho. blushing west , And the Idle words of n shallow brnln Went out o'er tbo earth In u sclllsh quest For plnctnnd power und worldly gain. The west wind wandered far nnd near. And took , for Ha use ? , nn undent name , Whose honor , unfurnished for mnny u yenr , WHS forced to contribute to pcr.soiml fume. Then the stately south wind nnd the north Opposed the west wind's wnnton wny. And hand In tmnil they Journeyed forth A peaceful communion of blue nnd grny. The thoughtful enst wind stnys nt home Anil will view , with pity , the nmnglcd form , In which the west wind Is sure to como From the equinoctial storm. HELLK W1LLKY GUE. WInslde , Neb. OUT OK THU Oltlll.VAHY. On a recent biickboard rldo at Calais. Mo. , there were four grandmothers and one great-grandmother. Mrs. Jenulo Nelson of San Gabriel , Cat. , Is a great-grandmother , though eho Is only 40 years old. A JIollls , N. II , man recently received a letter containing $200 , which the unknown writer said he had stolen from thu llollls man whllo the latter was In business In Hoston years ngo. A Ynnkco milkman of Dover , Me. , has : nade a great reputation for liberality among Ills customers by presenting to each of them every year nn enormous pumpkin. It lias now been discovered thnt ho sells enough extra milk for pumpkin pics to not only reimburse him for his apparent gen erosity , but to make a handsome profit liesldcs. The largest mirror ever brought to Amer ica has been placed In the dining room In Ihe wing ot the Hotel Savoy of New York 31ty. It occupies the entire end of the room , being twelve feet high and thirteen and n lialf feet long. Several attempts had to ho made by the manufacturers to produce n laE of HI'H slzo without flaws. Thu Indianapolis Sentinel recounts the story of a llttlo 7-ycar-old girl who , whllo plnylng In n granary thrco months ngo , got a .grain of wheat In her eye. No serious Inconvenience ! resulted , nnd the mntter wnn forgotten. A week ago ono of the eyes bc- ? an to Inflame and became/ unbearably pain ful. A doctor was sent for , nnd ho found the grain of wheat lodged In the corner of Iho eye , with n sprout on It half an Inch In length. The eye Is getting well. The Jaculator fish , which Is found In the Inkes of Java , usesUs mouth as a sqiilrtgun and Is a good markmnnn. If a stake or polo Is put In the water with the end projecting three fcot above the surface , and a beetle or fly Is placed ! on the top of the polo tbo water will soon bo swarming with finny gun ners. Presently ono comes to the surfncc , observes Its prey , anil mcasure-s Its distance. Then It screws Its mouth Into n very funny shape , discharges n stream of water and knocks the fly. or beetle Into the water , whcru It Is Instantly devoured by the success ful shooter or some of Its hungry com panions. The most gigantic turtles that existed dur ing the geological agta appear to have Inhab ited the foothills of'the. Himalaya mountains. The shells and bonus of these extinct crea- . lures , which occasionally wash nut of the ravines where they have been burled for untold - told ages , prove that they were moro than twice as largo as any specimen which now exists. A specimen of thu shell of ono of these old-tlmu monsters , which may bo seen In thu Notional muicum at Calcutta , Is six and one-half Inches thick , twelve feet and a fraction in length , eight and one-half feet broad nnd more than five feet In height when standing upside down , llko an in verted saucer. AN UI'-TO-DATi : PAHAIIU : . llrooklyn Life. Upon the Blinds , with Idlu book , \V o nut bcHldo the Hen , And love WIIH In my every look ; Ah , Hho wus dear to mot And there , upon the. snowy unndu , I drew her lo my Hide. And smoothed her hnlr with lender hnnds , And won her for my bride. Ah , handsome , hnrdeiu'd , heartless Jilt ! Ah , guileful Hummer girl ! Ah , house of I v thul Cupid built , Where creHted brenkeru curl ! Love fullud to profit , when hu planned , Hy whnt thu Ht-.rlpturc-H toll ; IIn built his houto upon thu mind Wlmt wonder that U full ? WRITERS' ' WOES AND BREAKS Professional Misfortunes mul Mistakes of Literary Characters. DISAGREEING WITH THE GOVERNMENT * Unlit ( it Tlieitinelve * ninl I'nlilUIit-rs tl liy Triiiiiiiriify KnrKcKIII- MN , Con'f llnllitl tlf Ditten mill I.OMN of I'niifi-K , The personal misfortunes of literary men hnvo often attracted the attention of wrltcrn who took pleasure In portraying odd phases of life , nnd so the world long ngo learned all that was to be ascertained about the bad luck of the men who wrote the books It most delighted to read , nnd who achieved the labor * which made It wiser and better The dt-ufncsa of Dccthoven , the bllndnc * of Milton , the poverty of Cervantes ant Hums , the domestic unhnpplnoss of Phel ley , the scrofula of Or. Johnson , Thomp son' gout and laziness , Young's family be reavemenla , nre nil well known to ever } reader. A world of sympathy has bcci wasted on these nnd other famous eharac tors , saja the St. Ixiuls Globe-Democrat wasted because they did not deserve 1 more than other men , nlnce these calamltle which befell them were either mich as ni\ common to all men , whether geniuses o ordinary folk , or were brought upon them selves by nets nnd courses of conduct which In the case of other people , would produce the same or nlmllar results. A genius Is after all , only a man , like the rest of uo In most particulars , subject to the same economic , social nnd physical laws as the remainder of mankind. If he eats food dlf Ilciilt of'digestion , the greatest poet In tin. world becomes as sick ns a cowboy ; if lit spends moro than he earns , the most fa- nioua musician runs In debt nnd peta Into trouble with his creditors ; If he disrcgnrdi the decencies of society , the- most gifted es laylst that ever pn : pen to paper will hnvi visited upon his head the condemnation o It-cent people nnd become n social outcast These nre things which do not depend 01 4onlii3. nor Is n genius , by reason of his gifts , exempted from the conditions under which nil other mm must live In society. CLASS CONDITIONS. Hut every class , however limited , has conditions of Its own , peculiar to Itself , nut provnlllng In no other. . .Men of a ccrtalt line have Gablts of their own. often vary Ing In Important particulars , from the hab Its of others , i\-ery calling has Its own hours of labor and conditions of Its own under which that labor Is performed. There art nome businesses which cannot bo prose cutcd by light , others which must be car rled on solely by artificial light. The painter cannot work by the light of a lamp , 1 would nltei ( ho vnluo of his colors ; the en graver , on the other hnirl , finds one light as good ns another. The work of type composition on n dully paper Is largely done at night , so vast numbers of printers proofreaders and pressmen rarely know what It Is to work by day , while the bual ness of a clerk or salesman In a large dr ) goods store Is almost ns exclusively con- ilned to the hours of daylight. The labors of n farmer comr.el him to be almost con stantly In the open air , while many classes of mechanics nrc just ns constantly conduct to work shops , where the ventilation Is Imperfect nnd the air Impure. Every ont Is nwnro of the extent to which the menta status Is affected by the condition of tht body ; no man can do proper work , whether physical or mental , when his liver Is out of order nnd his blood Is Impure , nnd there are some people who , from long years BIHIIII. UIIUIT improper conditions , nave chronically bad livers and impure blood There nro thus what may bo called class diseases , commonly known among people ol a certain class , but rarely attacking others The "housemaid's knee , " nn Infirmity fro- qucnt among women who do much scrubbing the "base ball arm. " the "lawn tennis el bow , " and the "match maker's Jaw , " nn affliction resulting from phosphorous poisonIng - Ing ; the "painter's colic. " and a dozen moro equally familiar ailments peculiar to certain classes of laborers , nre Illustrations of the general statement that particular conditions of llfo bring certain results to the physical system. PROFESSIONAL AILMENTS. Mko the painter nnd the housemaid , the literary man has his ailments , strictly pro fessional In their nature. His Is an Indoor llfo , nnd he Is , therefore. In the first place subjected to the Infirmities which come from house llfo nnd little exercise. It Is doubtful whether the highest degree of physical health anil strength cnn be attained by ono devoted to literary work , as this Is so absorbing In Its nature ns to make the professional writer forget or Igiure all else In the diligent pur suit of his calling. Chained to his writing desk , his digestion becomes poor , his muscles are weakened , so that he Is unable , even were ho willing , to take active exercise ; his whole system Is relaxed ; his nerves nrc un strung and , even If no positive lesion of the vltnl organs becomes apparent , ho feels that he Is "ont of sorts. " Sooner or later , however , the general weak ness manifests Itself at some partic ular point , and If ho tloeo not go to piece. ) all at once like the deacon's shay , he breaks down In spots. His eyes are frequently the first to suffer , being greatly overtaxed ; he gets chronic dyspepsia , ncrlvcncr's cramp at tacks his hand , rheumatism , from some ac cidental exposure , aflllcts Ma feet or Ills shoulders or his back ; from lack of exercise and too much eating and drinking he Is seized by the gout. It Is true that some of thcso woes are also found In other lines of life , but In this they arc the direct results of Ills habits. Milton , Hach , Handel , all were blind from overstudy and work ; Carlylo's llfo was embittered by his stomach , a dozen writers of prominence have been stricken by "writer's cramp ; " Wordsworth had rheumatism from allowing a window to re main open nnd the. cold wind to blow ncros.3 Ills feet while at work ; Gibbon was a martyr to the gout , while apoplexy and paralysis , from overwork and lack of air nnd exercise , have slain their scores. DISAGUEKINO WITH AUTHORITIES. Ono of the most Rorlous professional mls- fortuncf ) of literary men has been the fact that they so often disagreed with the con stituted authorities of .their place of resi dence. Freedom of speech and of the press Is n thing of our own day nnd not even yet , In all countries , Is It enjoyed to the extent that It Is In this. Until the present century , when a writer took of any subject a view- that was not ngrccablo to the authorities , they promptly signified their displeasure , and answered Ills' arguments by locking him up , and so giving him leisure ami quiet to reflect on the error of his opinions. Voltalrn liad abundant experience of this professional misfortune , and after being Incarcerated by the French government and by Frederick the Great , ho grew so foxlly wary In his old ago that ho finally nettled down nt Forney , close to the Swiss frontier , where ho could , nt nn hour's notice , flco from ono country to another In case cither bccaino a little too warm to bo comfortable. Buchanan , Hclolgh , Docthlus , Grotlus , Dun- yan. Seldcn , all know or learned what a dif ference of opinion between themselves nnd the authorities meant , and Robinson Crusoo Defoo was so familiar with the pleasant little way the English government had of answering > "s political pamphlets , that ho once xald : "If a stranger taps mo on the shoulder In the street , I at once turn round and walk toward Nowgato , purely from force of habit. " Some degree of moral as well an physical courage was required to bo a political writer In the daya < whcn Now gate , the pillory , the stocks and tbo ITrand- Ing Irons were always ready for political writers of the opposition party ; when ears were cropped to make a man change his views and noses wuro silt to show opposi tion debaters that they were In the wrong ; but to the. credit of the profession bo It Raid all Ihceo governmental argtimentu failed to convince , and ulnco the Invention of print ing there has never been any lack of writ ers to "roast" an administration that needed euch treatment , LOSS OF MANU8CIUPTS. Many authors of note have Buffered Irrep arable loss from the destruction of their lapurs. ( Icnerally , the < ll a ter came from accidental lire. Bomctlmcu the labors of many ycara being ewcpt away la an hour. Sir Isaac Newton sustained the loss of n hrpo mans of scientific dnta an.l cnlcula tlons through ft lire caused by his favorite dog , Diamond , oversetting n cAndle on the1 library table. Newton wan out of the roon at the moment , and when he returned ( he great dog came to meet him , Joyfully wag King thn banner of tall that hnd done * o much damage. The philosopher was equate to the Miicrgottry. "Ah , Diamond. " he ex claimed , when he tmw the elmrrod rein nsnis of lite papers , "iliou little knowcs the mischief tliou hast done. " Much I ti patience WM shown by Ihe famous Anthonj I'rr.uMiM , n philosopher nnd rliistlcal crltl of the fifteenth century , nlinto iiinnu fcerlptM wer > destroyed by fire during hi absence , lie became Insane , and In hi * rav Ings constantly called on. God to know wh ) he had hem so Ill-treated. Ill * blnsphcmle shocked all licjrs. He told the Almlght that If , at the point of death , he should b * o weak ns to pray , he did not wish to b heard , as , nfter suich treatment , he pro ferret ! to live In hell tnther than In heaven Thomas ( Virlylo came very near the fat of I'rcnous , nfter the manuscript of th second volume of liU "French llevrvlutlon was destroyed. He had loaned the work t n friend , who dcvlrrd to read It. and I1 loaned It to another. This man , whll reading It , left It on his table one night It a .ntffi of papers , and the next morning'a careless servant used It to ( .tart n fire. Tar lyle bccamo almost distracted when h learned of his lota , and his depression In creased when he found himself nt Hist tin able to reproduce It. Hut , throwing aa'd ' all serious occupation * ) , he gave Severn weeks to novel leading , ns n means of ill version ; then set to work again , and llnnll rewrote the entire cc.-iind volume. LAPSES OF MK'MOllY. The lapses of memory , to which all me nro occasionally subject , are among th most pronounced misfortunes of n lltcrnr character , and particularly of n writer There Is something curiously treacherou about the human memory. Not only doc It fall at times when It should do Its lies work , but It sometimes confidently assure Its owner that It U right when It Is In th wrong. There Is n tradition In one of th German universities of n very great scholai renowned for his attainments nnd alx for his memory , which , Indeed , seemed I huvo been little short of miraculous.Vliti this marvel of knowledge was on his death bed one of his scholars asked , as a partliu word , the most valuable hint or Eiiggestloi that the old professor could make. Th old man opened 1'ls lips , and his pupil gathered around expecting a verbal per of great price to drop from them. "Alwa > verify your citations , " said the dying pro fessor , and gave up the ghost. The ndvlc was worthy of Ihe man nnd moment , fo of all things , to n ncholnr there Is no labo moro needful. Ho may feel morally sur that he can give a quotation In the word of the author , nnd he may be entirely mis tnken , for the mental substitution of on little word for another may flhow to th Initiated that , while he means well , he I not exact either In his Information or In hi way of stating It. He may be perfectlj sure of his dates nnd have them trans posed ; ho may use one name when h menus to use another ; lie may attribute r saying to one man when the credit Is du to another. Mncaulay had a phenomena memory , but when writing bU essay 01 Oliver Goldsmith and speaking of the hast ) and careless manner In which much of thn author's work was done , the great essayls wrote. "Vicar of Wakefleld" when he In tended to write "History of Greece , " am so , until he could correct the mistake In th next Issue of the review , the classic Macau lay po&ed before the public ns a man who thought the "Vicar of Wakellcld" a badl > written book. ODD DLUNDEItS. A book might he composed on the blitn dcr * made by authors through inoinontao forgetfuliKss or from that queer ojeltnnc\ which sometimes comes to the most acuti Intelligence. Akcnslde had n fit nf this tern poiary mental aberration when he wrote "Ho Views the Ganges from Alpine Heights , ' and Allison , the historian , must have beci similarly nllllctcd when he made Sir Perl grluc Pickle oneof the pall-bearers of tin duke of Welllncton. Cervantes' Immorta work Is filled with blunders of forgctfulness In one place he tclla us about the gnllc ) slaves setting upon the don and nclzlng Mambrlno's helmet ; they broke It nil to pieces , or to bo exact , "In a thousam plccw , " while a llttlo later Don Quixote comes marching from his chamber armcc cap-a-pio with the barber's basin on his head. In ono place Glues do Paascmonte steals Saneho's Dapple , nnd n few pager further on we are told about the Don riding along the highway while Sancho content edly Jogged after , seated on his donkey Dickens , too , made bad "breaks. " It "Nicholas Nlckleby" the boys of Squcers school arc set to worlt hoeing turnips In midwinter , and In the "Tale of Two Cities' ho speaks of the "chief functionary of thr guillotine" as of the same nnino an ( hi "strong man of old scripture , " regardless o : the fact that the former was named Sansor nnd the latter Sampon. These are blunder ! ot mere forgetfulncss , the writer fancying In some cases , that ho sufllelently remcm bcrcd what he had already written , and se not taking the trouble to verify the accurae ; of his knowledge , blundered along Into an error , sometimes laughable In Its absurdity and nt others relying on his recollection for a historic statement In which his mem ory was entirely at fault. A few moments' work In verifying a dale , or making cer tain of a quotation , or confirming tin accuracy of a historical reference , woul > have saved the mortification of n bad blun der as well as the credit of the writer , foi mistakes In plain historical statements , tin facts of which can bo ascertained from or dinary books of reference , cast discredit or. the entire work of p.n author , n carefu' ' render Instantly concluding that the same carelessness would ho shown elsewhere at In the Instances which fell under his notice. TYPOGRAPHICAL IJLUNDEIIS. Ever slnco the Invention of types the printer has been compelled to bear n load if slnu which were not always his own. The haste , carelessness , laziness and Ig- nornnco of authors occasion Innumerable Idiinders in manuscript , of which the writer , after the matter has appeared In print , Is Ihoroughly ashamed , and whenever the na ture of the cauo admits , tlicso arc foisted on the "Intelligent compositor. " It Is not possible to make such a disposition of them ill , but the general Inclination Inherent in human nature to shift blame to the shoul ders of some ono else causes a careless writer to unload nl ! ho can on the printer , and In every printing ofllco the spectacle of ho angry writer Instating that he did not wrlto what had appeared In print , and scarcely convinced even when shown the uanUBcrlpt. Is painfully common. Hasty nnd Illegible handwriting Is responsible for nnny blunders , not n few \yriters entertain ing the Idea that to wrlto badly Is a mark of genius ; so they wrlto In such a style that hey cannot themselves read the matter afte * hey have forgotten the aubject , and then ) lnmo the printer If every letter la not ex actly right. There Is probably not n profes sional writer In this country who has not reasons once or twice a month to thank irlntcrs and proof readers for correcting some mistake or blunder In his matter , fre quently trivial , but occasionally of grnvo Im portance. The slips of the press , however , inlntentlonal ns they are , sometimes become extremely funny , and occasionally nro pro- luctlvo of conacqucncea the reverse of agreeable. The reporter who , In nn account of a noddy gathering , wrote An ' \alt club , and was subsequently forced to run a gauntlet of enraged fathers , brothers and lovers because the word * appeared aa Anti-Fat club , probably MIW llttlo humor In the blunder , but persons not concerned In the affair could not he blamed for de riving considerable amusement from It. Lit erary history Is full of entertaining blun ders of the press , but perhaps no ono Is moro curious than the Incident narrated by Disraeli of thu book called "Tho Anatomy of the Mass , " published by a pious monk In Ififil. It Is a book of 172 pages nnd at the close are fifteen closely printed pages of 'orruta , " prefaced by a few remarks by the author. Ho apologizes for the Imincnso number of blunders , uncqualed In a work of that size , and attributes their amazing fre quency to no lens an agency than .Satan ilmself. The duvll , ho says , was fearful of thu Influence such a book would bavc , and. dutormlnvd to spoil it , first contrived to make the author drop It as hu was crossing a ditch , whereby It became watc.r-f > oalu'd and almost Illegible. 'Doing rescued , bow- over , and put In the hands of the printers , ho old enemy but In-red them to mich a de gree and caused them to make no many nlstnkcs that It enjoyed the pro-cnilm uco of icing the worst executed book that over came from the pros , Determined , however , hat Satan should not have the udvantago. ho author went to work , carefully corrected all the blundcra , and annexed the pagci of orrntn. nnd thus wns the antagonist nf nil Kuoii i > ook * ftiiRlly Imfllpd nnd put to rout. _ J I'.U'GIIT STEALING. To be detected In appropriating the wordi and phritses of nnotlivr Is certainly n pro- femilonnl misfortune of no smnll proportions tions , yet mich n calamity hna befallen moro than one literary man of mnrlu-d abilities. As n rule , n well-proven case of plagiarism has either greatly damaged or closed the literary career of the culprit , but there Is at least one prominent Instna : to the centraly. for Henjnmtn Dlsrnrli In- nan his literary life by n ( lagrnnt plngi.ir- Ism whleh was Instantly detected nnd pointed out In the dally presn. Disraeli made but n Uino excuse , and the occurrence ) would probably have terminated the lit erary life of n less nblo man , but be sur vived It nnd the story Is now found only In the curios of literature. There Is an other brilliant plagiarist whose sin has been condoned In virtue of the elegant use ho made of his stealings. "Lucille" , had not bron In print six months ere Rome ono dlsroveied that the plot , the story , meat ot the Incidents and much of the Inngungo were lifted bodily from a novel by George Saml. Of course the discovert r In stantly rushed to the nearest newspaper * office with his discovery , nnd equally , of I counu\ the editor saw n goo , ! Item In tlui f Information nnd made us much of It as ho f could. Other Journals copied the exposure ) ! ' and Owun Meredith was subjected to a belaboring at the haitds of the critics Hint ? would hnvo extinguished a literary light 4 of Ima magnitude. Hut somehow tinpeo - F pie had taken n fancy to "Lucille" nnd thn charges of stealing made not the sllghttst Impression. People even went so far as ' to say they did not care If he did steal It. It was good , nnd showed that he knew i how to steal with tnsle and skill. So little by little the critics got tired of howling nbout the llternry wickedness of n mini who could atenl n whole novel nnd pass It off for hi * MWII ; the plnglnrlmn wns forgotten nnd ii ; now remembered only In books of llternry anecdote. In his cane- , therefore , being caught stenltng proved 1,0 misfortune ; In deed It rnther proved nn advantage , for the ! controversy resulting from the charge widely advertised the book which It wns Intended f to ruin. Spenklng of ruining a book recalls - ' calls the fnct that one of the most serious ' professional misfortunes of literary men has i been the ruin that not only n few brought , on themselves by Investing nil they had In the publication of their works. In several ( -.sea they hnvo ruined book sellers , who i were persuaded or cajoled Into undertak ing an expensive work , in mnny volumes , ' - r.t n n rule the publishers have been shrewd enough to nvold disasters of thin kind by allowing the author to assume the financial responsibility. This , when able , they were almost always willing to do , _ _ rf mil when the work did not sell , they were \ frequently reduced to poverty by the out lay. The misery which. In not n few In- stnnces , has been the portion of literary old nge , wns thus not always thu result ot unkindly fate , for nn author who risks too much to got his name before the public hns no right to complain If financial disaster attends his venture. A lack of business discretion ! s a common misfortune ntnonff- nien of letters , nnd perhaps the most serious that has befallen the class. OUt IIAIIV. . , Cy Wnrninn In Now York Sun. iVo linvtu baby , nnd hu looks Ilkime > . Somebody said so one dny ; Rut Hint I have never been nblo to see , Though somebody ntld so olio day Ills beautiful eyes linvc- the hue of the skies And mine of n ship-tossed sea , Neither blue , grny nor green , Just betwixt and between. Still our baby looks llko mo. His bright IreswH hold the luster of gold , Somebody said HO one day ; And mine nro ns straight as the red maii'a of old , Somebody said so one day ; Ills mouth's like n sweet little bursting pink rose. There's n dimple In ench round knei- ; HUH an fair as the day , the neighbors all nay. Still our baby looks like me. I.AIIOll AM ) I.MJUSTHV. I 1 An out-of-work Insurance has been In stituted In Cologne , Germany. A Now Yorker who was boycotted baa sued the union for $2,000 damages. When the Siberian railway Is completed n tour around the world may bo mndo In forty days nnd at an expense of $100. Worklngmcn are warned to keep nway from South Africa. Wages arc low , worlt crarco and the necessities of llfo very high. Miss Nellie Patterson , Mount runnel , Conn. , has completed a four years' appren ticeship to the machinists' trade. It Is estimated that JSO.000,000 bas been ipent In the United States for bicycles Only about 25 per cent of this amount was ex- irntlcd for labor nnd material. A Spanish patent lasto twenty years and the device or manufacture must be made or carried on In Spanish territory within twq _ years after the patent Is granted. St. Paul Ilrlcklnyers' union Is Interested In tliu preparation of a bill providing for the appointment of a practical and competent bricklayer on the building Inspector's staff. The condition of the Florida cigar trndo Is becoming very alarming to manufacture and they nrc husbanding their Cuban leaf lit every way possible. This Is , of course , duo _ > to the continued war In Cuba. " The German Painters' union of Now York ! has established a school for learners at Its labor bureau In Klfty-si'venth street , near Lexington avenue. Instructions will bo given on evenings nnd on Sundays. The east of Instruction Is $5 a term of three months. Mrs. Thomas I ) . Calkins , San Francisco , In the last few years ban Invented twenty- seven household articles , among the number a baklngpan with adjustable partitions , a. | ) lnless clothes rack and n self-adjusting : o\vel ring. Commissioner of Labor Statistics McDou- nigh of New York state unnoticed that 10 will begin his Investigation on Novem- ) er 9 In Now York City Into the condition of working women and the system of Itn- lortlng female : ! Into thla country for Im- noral and other purposes. Ho Is gathor- ng his witnesses , and has about sixty In view to bcglr with. An effort Is likely to bo inado by Clcvo- nnd , O. , manufacturers and mechanics to llscrlmlnato against the cheap lumber iroducts which have been t > hlppcd Into the city during the pant years. Union carpen- ers will refuse to handle any goods not nanu.'nctiired In Cleveland mills , or , at east , unless the work was tlono by me chanics receiving Hie union scalp of wages. Harper's Hnznr : "Why do you beg ? " iskcil the kind-hearted woman. "I oiin'l iclp It , nm'nin. " Bald the beggnr. "My vlfe's 11 wldder. with llvo children , nnU they lookx to mo for support. " CHIN P. Ki.si.Ar , Prop. Jci.s , HKNHIIAW , .Mgr , ( LATE McTAOUK'S ' ) First-Class Grill Rooms , RAT.33 81,00 TO 82 5O A DAY , All rooms stcnni hoafjl und ovurythlna tsrlctly inoilurn. 1509 FAMAM. PEHE PTORY AUCTION SALE AT CHICAGO. Commencing on Wednesday , November Hi nt 10 n. m. . wo will Hell at Pitbllu Auction for account of whom It may concern ori third , fourth and fifth floors of building- , ' \l \ corner .Monroe ftrcet uirl WnbaBh uvcnufr , Chicago , Inventoried ImmotiHo Wlioloiulo Vnluoof Stock $200,000 lf ' Consisting of Funoy .Dry GnodH , 15inbrolcir' * - tries , Tublo Linens , To-.vollngH , Whlt6 Goods , LnccH , Liidleii' nnd Ui'iits' Furnish * inp ( JoodH , Notions. Olovcs , Hnndkcrchlvf % > f etc. , formerly owned by ; , Etlson Koitli & Co . Stock arraimud forsulo by HA.Mt > ii , HA.VN , MIIIIIIKIT , \\'cnli < rii hulvnu Wri'iildiiK Auvno/1 ( JIJO. I' . UOKU A CO. , Auullonvcf.