TUB CXMAITA "DAILY BE1S : SUNDAY , NOVEMBER 25 , 1894.
ME HAPPY THANKSGIVING OF . .
THE BURGLAR AND PLUMBER.
By Octave Thanet.
. , .
( Copyright. 1801 by Octavo Tlianct. )
Miss Elinor Mcrryweather went to bed
Thanksgiving evening In a graceless frame
rff mind , at least In a frame of mind that
tnay pas for graceless In n woman of such
kindly nature ai Miss Mcrryweathcr. "You
may go , Robblns , " she sold to her faithful
tnald , "and you and Harriet ( Harriet was
the cook ) nnd Matilda ( Matilda was the
Waitress ) may all go to that party at James'
( James was the gardener ) , I shall not need
any of you. "
"I hate to leave you alone , Ml s Elinor , "
Bald Hobblns , and hesitated , knowing Miss
Merryweather well enough not to ask her
would she be afraid. She did not do much
better to blurt out : "They do say there's
burglar's' In town , ma'am. "
"Very well/ ' responded Miss Mcrryweather
Trtth unshaken calm whatever her faults
timidity neverwas , charged to her "bo sure
you lock all the doors and windows securely.
'And y&u may aswell see the galvanic battery
Vorks alt right and that the silver is all
In ( he safe. Good night , a pleasant time
to you. "
Robblns. know when her mlstre s used this
lone that argument would be vain , so , dis
comfited and with more than one wistful
glance backward In the hall , she retired.
Miss Morrywcather began to walk up and
down the room. It was an attractive room ,
with the soft , Ivory gleam of the paint and
the aprangly old fashioned flowers on the
creamy walls. Theie walls were thickly
hung with water color sketches and pen and
ink and wash drawings , which gave one an
icerlo r.eneatlon of familiarity , like faces seen
In a dream , and sometimes by some clever
people of long memories , were traced to a
favorite illustrator , Uelng , In fact , by famous
artists , their original drawings for well
known magazines.
One perceived , also an old fashioned air
that came from tlio presence of certain
chairs and tables luxuriantly carved In dull
hued oak or tinted In old marqueterle. In
one corner of the room a cabinet showed all
the dazzling hues of rare , old china , the
sumptuous gliding of Satsuma , the delicate
forms of old Severes , the dainty fancies In
Meltsen and ( he soldier opulence of color
and shape by the great English makers , A
davenport In one corner , a lounge with many
pillows In another and a tea table , with Its
shining cqulnngc , lilnted the room to be Miss
Mcrryweather's own special sitting room.
She never called It a boudoir , and nothing
made her more Indignant than to hear the
name from any one else. "Do I look like
a woman who would have a boudoir ? " she
lind been known to demand , almost with
fierceness. "A boudoir Is a place where
girls with sleepy hair read poetry and write
notes on ccented paper , and make poor tea ,
that they elp with souvenir spoons. Look
nt my spoons , they arc truly apostles ; and
Isn't that Eve sprawling by that ridiculous
river on that Capo < li Monti teapot delicious ?
Taste my tea a friend brought It to me
from Russia ; did you ever taste such tea In
a boudoir ? I think nof. " Miss Merry-
weather's tea was celebrated by all who
wcro so fortunate as to drink it , but It was
not the tea table to which the eye of a new
comer Instinctively turned , It was a heavy
Italian chest , the lid adorned by two curi
ously wrought iron handles , the chest Itself
of age-stained oak , having divers vague and
grisly traditions connecting It with the treas
ure of a convent and the murder of faithful
guardians by vandal robbvra In the eighth
English Henry's time. By a natural divaga
tion of the mind the chest had become Miss
Merry weather's safe , and contained. It was
said , a liana fide safe , wherein was deposited
the famous Mcrryweather plate , some de
Li-jl scended from colonial Merryweathcrs , some
- presented by brother officers to the late Gen
eral Merry weather. Also therein sparkled
the jewels of Miss Mcrryweuthor , which
would not have been despised in a large city
and were regarded with awe In an Iowa town.
Miss Merryweather , though a spinster and
no longer young , was fond of magnificence tn
dress , on proper occasions. In general , eho
wore simple costumes , always of black ,
which recognized but did not slavishly defer
to fashion. But for lilgh toilets she had
satins and velvets and lace 01 ancient as
her china. In person Miss Merryweather
was tall and thin , but she had a nmntua
maker that understood her business. When
she was young and lier hair was black Miss
Merrywcather's Roman features might have
seemed large , however finely chiseled. Now ,
framed In softest Iron gray , they were com
monly described as "so distinguished. " She
wai of a fine carriage , a figure to notice on
the streets , especially as she was a trifle ab-
eent minded , and when she walked had the
habit at swaying her shapely right hand
from side to side , as If addressing an In
visible audience In Inaudible words. She
had a warm heart anil a quick temper , and
she hod been known to arrest ( with the aid
of sympathetic bystanders ) at least half n
dozen oppressors of dumb brutes She did
not keep a single cat In the house. In
pussy's place the petted a majestic St.
Bernard , who sometimes accompanied her In
lieu of the body guard.
Whatever her eccentricities I must grant
her some she was greatly beloved by her
fellow townsmen and those who knew her
" best loved her most strongly. She had , however -
over , a will of her own. And che was one
Who , In the language of holy writ , kept
her promise to her hurt. Thus , sometimes ,
an Impetuous temper led her Into Imprudent
declarations out of which she could not al
ways 'extract herself without great exercise
of her wits. Her latest dilemma engrossed
her tonight. Having the plumbing of her
dwelling repaired , In an unlucky moment she
had a quarrpl with the plumbers union over
a bill and the resu'.t was that she sent away
"every man swindler of them all" \\ould
not be understood to endorse her w .rda--
And was left with the water service of the
house cut off and water hauled from the
clsterno and n single faucet In the garden ,
while friends sniffed apprehensively when
ever they entered the house , and asked was
she not afraid of sewer gas ? and her niece
( who was as a daughter to her ) did not dare
to bring the baby to spentl Thanksgiving , ba-
cause the child might catch diphtheria
through the deadly , leaking pipes.
"Stuff ! " said Miss Mcrryweather , who used
strong expressions sometimes , being by birth
and brccJIng quite too great a lady to dis
turb herself about the minor conventions ,
"stuff and nonsense ! There are no leaks ,
but I'm not going to argue with you , Helen ;
I shall get a plumber and have you come
Thanksgiving. "
Then , discerning a peculiar smllo on the
nmlable features of Helen's husband , she
addcd , gravely : "He will not- belong to the
union. It I have to wall to hire a union
plumber I shall watt until the pipes tumble
to pieces ! "
But the Imported plumber who was to put
tlie forces of organized lalxir to rout did nol
come , although , uuch la the extraordinary
working of the feminine logic , he was offered
as high wages as the erring and grasping
union plumbers had been refused.
Miss Merryweather was sure ho had elthei
been bought off or assassinated by the union
she paid no heed to the theory submissive ! )
tendered by Helen's husband , to-wlt , that
knowing the man' * hablU , ho had cause t <
euspect he was simply celebrating Thanks
giving tn an unholy manner on his own ac <
count.
"No , poor fellow , " she murmured , "mosi
likely ho Is lying dead tn some nlleywaj
with all his ribs broken. They do suet
thlnssk" It was wlUi a gloomy mind sh <
beheld the night before Thanksgiving. " 1
never was so little thankful In my life , " slu
murmured , "and I was so bant on havlni
that plumbing done In time to have Helat
and show that Vance that I am a match fo
the plumbers union If I am a lone woman. '
Mlu Merryweather was not used to bi
beaten ; It galled ; she had mailed letters ti
different plumbers .asking for bids by tclo
graph ; but , peer as she might , she could no
Bee a loopho'e of escape tor her this time.
She went to bed early , but for a loni
white she could not sleep ; the thought of tin
plumbers union nnd her own defeat and rtgei
unow.
And when at last she was Just slipping ol
into the shadow * of peace she heard th
utteat of footfalls. Surely she had closci
tha door on Diogenes , , the dogl Hadn't sh
clpiwxl the cJoorT Her mind drove her back
. .vrsrdover that hasty Journey through th
"rooms ; dawn stain. Dlogtnei bad a. mat li
tbo UuBdry and the ran go ot the kitchen
she certainly had closed one of the kitchen
doors , didn't the close the kitchen door up-
sUlM ? She did at least she had seen that
the door to the cellar was fast and she
thought she had bolted the door upstairs-
how did people ever feel certain about any
thing enough to swear that It happened ?
The footsteps wcro nearer. In the sitting
room which adjoined the chamber. Her first
thought was for the safety ot the tea table
with Its precious freight ; she nas sure It she
called to the dog kindly he would begin
wagging his tall , that tremendous brush
which with ono sweep might hurl her Idols
Into Irredeemable , smashing , crashing ruin !
Sternness was the only chance ! "Down ,
charge , Die ! " she commanded , "bad dog !
Down !
A particularly inAldVvptce answered her :
"It ain't a dog. nil's1 ' ? , 1W a man ! "
i ( "A man ? " repeated Miss Merryweather ,
Of course It was not well ; but Miss
Merryweather did not think of the nicer
meaning of words.
"Yes , ma'am , " the voice repeated , "don't
be alarmed ; I'm a man , a burglar ! "
Miss Merryweather showed no signs of
alarm ; In the first place she had a fear-
Isss soul. In the second place , the voice was
so mild , so almost apologetic , that It aroused
her sense of humor.
"I don't know but that you ore less of a
nuisance than the dog would be , " said she.
"You stay right where you are and I will
turn on the electric lights as soon as I get
on n few things. Don't move or you'll hit
something. "
"AH right , ma'am , " said the burglar.
' only no pulling out a pop , you know , and
firing It off at me In the dark , hit or
miss. "
"Certainly not , at least not until I can see
on , " said Miss Merryweather. All the >
hllo she wis hastily donning a wrapper
nd slippers. Then she turned on the lights.
The burglar stood dlrtctly under the blaze ,
'o did not look like a burglar ; there was
othlng much In his pale face except the
ok of recent sickness and hopelessness.
Is clothes were like any workman's , a pair
f blue , soiled overalls with something like
bib front , and a patched , check shirt.
[ Is hat ( It was a hat and not the cap in
hlch artists , for reasons best known to
hc-inselvcs , delight to depict the burglar )
ras a very battered , soft felt , and It was
ot pulled down over his black brows , It was
ushcd back from dark , brown locks. He
coked like a workman out of a job. Ills
anils , one of which held a pistol , wcro cal-
oused and stained , a worklngman's hands.
When Miss Merrywcather loomed upon
Im one may say darted , since that was the
ffect of the springing of the light upon her
nage he lifted his empty hand to his hat.
"I don't want to disturb you , ma'am , "
c repeated , "but I've got to have some
loney. "
"Why ? " said Miss Merryweather. She
as quite at her .case and had taken a rock-
ig chair.
"Why1 the man echoed bitterly , "be-
luisi I prefer to steal to seeing my wife
ylng for want of things dene for her and
ly children without shoes to their feet , and
ever a bite amongst us all this day , by
; I beg your pardon , lady , I wasn't
ipanlng to swear , but I'm worn out. "
"Haven't you had anything to eat today ? "
aid Miss Mcrryweather.
Ho shook his head. A stiff lock of
rown hair which stood upon the top of
Is head waggled at the motion ; it gave
Im a grotesque look. He certainly was
rightfully thin ;
"Humph ! " said Miss Merry weather , "You
It down In that rocking chair and stay
here until I come up again. Don't yon
mrglo any until I come back ; then we'll
eo what wo can do. "
"You nln't going to telephone to the police
o nab me ? "
Miss Merryweather waved her hand toward
ho wall at a telephone.
"It Isn't customary In houses of people
\ho are not millionaire's ' to have two tele-
ihones , " said she. " 'I'm jsolng to bring you
iomethlng to cat. "
"I won't touch a thing , lady , " promised
ho burglar , "I've been druv to this ; I truly
iavf. "
Miss Merrywcather encouraged him by a
nod and departed , lighted candle In hand.
Never , it seemed to her , had she heard
so many sinister noises at night as pricked
ler ears whllo her candle flitted from pantry
0 sideboard. Hoards creaked under her
tread as they never creaked In the day time
and every door she touched sent up a long
shriek of remonstrance.
But Diogenes slept calmly In the laundry.
Miss Merryweather shook her head. She
carried a revolver In her hand , which she-
aid on the tray , "He seems like n decent
sort of submerged unfortunate" thus ran
icr meditations while she provisioned the
tray "but he may bo wicked and run
after me down stairs. If ho docs , Dl and the
; un will have to hurt him. "
"And I won't talk to him away from the
telephone. " She thought of waking tin
sleeping dog and taking him up stairs , bul
the peril to the china of Diogenes' clumsj
bulk seemed so much greater to her in
Irepld soul than any personal danger fron :
tha mild mannered burglar , that she dis
missed the suggestion ns soon as It ap
pcared. And when she entered her slttlnf
room again and saw how starved and tlroc"
her burglar looked , she was glad of her de
cision.
He was leaning back In his chair , his
pistol still In ono limp hand , his head laU
back , showing his miserably thin neck , am
the white glare full on the haggard palloi
ot his face.
Ills eye brightened at the sight ot tin
tray. Miss Merryweather , making no com
ment , lighted the lamp under the silvei
chafing dish , and as It burned , she butterei
the slices of bread and placed beef betweer
them.
"I nm afraid the beef Is a little underdom
for your taste , " observed she kindly , "am
1 hope you don't.caro for mustard , for I for
got It ; but I've put on salt and pepper , am
they were the btst done pieces I could ftnd
The soup will bo warm In a minute. Nov
you drink this glass of wine. "
The man drank It , keeping his eyes on her
Then ho laid the pistol on the table. "I aln'
going to use It , " he said ,
"Much better not , " replied Miss Merry
weather. "Tho truth Is I have long had i
curiosity to see a burglar and I rather havi
planned things that way ; but I didn't expec
he would ba so decent ns you seem. How di
you like that wine ? It's old Jacques port. '
The burglar looked rather bewildered , bu
ans\rered that. H was the best wlno he ha <
ever tasted. lie added Ingenuously that hi
had not tasted much wine.
"You are not nt nil like a professlona
burglar , " remarked the lady , who had nov
come to ladling out the steaming soup. "
think you must be nn amateur. "
"I never toucu ! > d.a Jtbtng 'wasn't my owi
before , lady , o > " hclpjinje-f"
"Well , you haven't touched anything yet
now , " Interrupted Miss Merry weather , wh
had a mania for accuracy. She continued
"I suppose you are putting that sandwich Int
your pocket for your family don't do It
I'll make you up a basket for them. Tell nn
what brought you , such a decent man , to thl
pass ? "
The man smeared his eyes with hU hani
before he began : ' 'f never seen a lady Ilk
you , " said he. "I'm Just going to tell yoi
the honest truth. I was working In Chicago
I belonged to the junior plumbers "
"Oh , If you were a plumber. It must hav
come natural to you to rob ! "
Tha burglar acknowledged the sally by
faint smile. "We ain't so bad as they mak
us out. Well , hard times come and work fel
off and the union wouldn't let us work belo\ \
wages , 10 I left the union ; fact Is , I couldn'
keep up my duea "
"Do you mean to tell m * , " cried Miss Met
ryweather , springing from her chair In stron
agitation , "do you mean to tell me you ar
not a union man ? Don't think ot burglln
me ! I can glvo you a great deal better jol
and I will advance you money on It , toe
This house Is only about half plumbed ; If yo
will taka hold and get this plumbing done b
6 o'clock tomorrow I'll pay you well ! An
you shall have two men to help you wh
aren't plumben , but have come sense ! An
a boy to run to the nhop to get the tool !
Are you a good plumper ! "
"Yeo'm , I wal ; but you sea I went t
Pullman and work * ! there till the strike
came. I didn't strike , but I joined the A.
It. IT. afterwards , so as to get the reltrf.
The strike lasted so long I uied up all my
caving * ; and then I didn't get back , after all.
So I'm a llttlo out of practice. Out I guess
I can catUfy you. I'll try hard. " ,
"You shall have a chance , anyhow. So you
went to Pullman ? And why" didn't you get
back there when the strike ended ? "
"They didn't take nil the men , ma'am , and
I heard of a job In Chicago , so I moved there ;
and I got It sure enough , but It only lasted a
little while ; and then I wrote to the new
factory they was starting here , the glucose
works , and I got a job , but the first week
I come done with typhoid fever nnd worked
with the ferer on me , and I did lake whisky
to kinder hold me up , for I was wild to think
of losing my Job ; but I wasn't drunk , though
somebody said so. So I lost It and another
feller got It well , I guess ho needed It bad ,
too. Hut hat's how It was. I went home
and was sick awful bad for six weeks , and
when I got up again , there was nothing I
could get , and the baby come just then , God
forgive It ! and I guess he knowed ho was
none too welcome , for he's been hollering
ever since. Doctor says he needs some kinder
food , Nestling food , or some slch name , and
I wanted to git It , for I some way don't Jest
wont him to die If he Is mean ! Then I
wanted to git my woman things ; she's an
awful nice woman , I'll say that , and about
all we've got she's earned washing. I have
been out a week , walking about 100 miles I
guess , begging for n Job everywhere I heard
jobs were to be had ; but you see we are
strangers and there ain't enough work to go
'round 'mong the old men , Today as I
went back from the shoe factory 'cross the
river , and seen all the turkeys In the winders ,
and remembered how there wasn't a bite In
our house for today nor for tomorrow , and
looked at the rich folks that don't lave their
families a mite better'n I love mlntf , I got
kinder wild , I guess. I never had 'gredgcd
rich folks their money before. I was willing
to work hard , nnd not to have very much ;
but now It seems as If there wasn't an Inch
of room fcr me nnd my family on this earth !
We'd pawned every lost thing we ccwld pawn
and there we was , a-starvlng ! "
"Hut goodness gracious ! " exclaimed Miss
Merryweather , who had with difficulty re
frained from Interrupting him before , "why
didn't you go to the Associated Charities or
to the Industrial Aid ? "
" ain't used to being
"You see. lady , we
poor ; we didn't know about them places.
Lady , I tell you , It ain't the poverty poor
that sits squeezed the hardest when there's
hard times ; bless you , no ! They're used to
leanln * on other folks , nnd they Just lop over
a lectio heavier ; but It's the decent folks that
never knew the way to the poor overseer's
ofllco before , or even to the pawn shop , that
catch It. They sullen and don't holler
about It. "
"I see , " said Miss Merryweather ; "go on. "
"There ain't much more , " said the man ,
very neatly folding the napkin. "I told my
wife I had got a job and I would have the
money for a turkey for tomorrow ; not to
fret , I'd git some advanced. I went straight
out , meaning to enter somebody's house and
git enough to buy a Thanksgiving dinner. I
prowled about for n long time , first deciding
on ono house and then on another. Bye and
bye I saw all the folks in your kitchen going
out and the light up stairs , and says I ,
'That lady Is all alone by herself , and I can
git some money cosy. ' So I come. "
But how did you get In ? The windows are
baTrcd down stairs "
"Yea'm , they look like good winders. But
I come In by the door , the kitchen door. I
reasoned like the girls would have some place
where they hid the kitchen key and I could
hunt It up. Most like it would be under the
door mat. That's where It was , too , "
"They shall have a latch key , every ono tf
them. Of course you got In. But didn't you
wake the dog ? "
"No , ma'am ; he jest slept like the dead.
Them big dogs Is Jest like men about sleep
ing , they sleep so sound. "
"But when you came up the stairs , what
did you do about the mat at the foot of the
stairs ? The lights ought to have sprung up
and the bells rung the Instant your foot
touched the mat. "
"Why , you see , lady , " said the burglar
apologetically ho seemed to fear lest she
should be hurt by the failure of her carefully
planned burglar traps "you see , I naturally
struck a match , now and then , to see my
way , and when I come on that plain , common
mat In that beautiful hall with the hand
some rugs about , I knowed It to bo a burglai
mat , so I jest stepped over It. I've no doubt
all the things would have happened If I had
stepped on It , right. "
"I don't know , " said Miss Merryweather
gloomily ; "may lie the plumbers got It out ol
order. But , come here , open that chest. "
She pointed to the nuns' chest against the
wall and the burglar obediently laid his pistol
down to do her bidding. An Inner chest ol
, Iron was disclosed , having two projecting
handles.
"Lift the cover , " commanded Miss Merry
. weather.
A smile of grim expectation parted hci
- firm lips ; now approached her triumph. Tlu
burglar laid his hands on the knobs , and pen
sively nodded his head , screwing up hi :
mouth , like a man recognizing a familial
flavor.
flavor.Yeo'm
Yeo'm , " said he ; "galvanic battery , aln'i
It ? Kinder prickly. "
I'll weaken the current , " said Mlas Mcr
ryweather. "You must be a perfect Spartai
not to call out. "
"Well , you see I ruther eusplcloned what I
was , " the burglar replied , letting his handi
drop.
"How can you get your hands away ? '
cried Miss Merryweather.
" "Hain't you weakened the current ? " dep
recated the burglar. "Pshaw ! I thought yoi
had , or I wouldn't n-taken them down. I'n
real sorry. "
Mls Merryweather laughed. "Everythlni
Is a failure , then , " said she. "You ought ti
be held a prisoner , with your shoulder :
hunched up. It's all wrong. "
"Oh , no It ain't , ma'am " the burgla
tried to reassure her , "I ain't no manner o
doubt that them mats down stairs wauh
work splendid. Wo kin try. going down. Bu
these here galvanic batteries are mighty un
reliable. Never mind ; I kin fix It all rlgh
for you. I'm glad I came , though. "
"So am I , " said Miss Merryweather , "d
you think something Is the matter with this
too ? " displaying her revolver.
It was a big revolver of glossy and Irl
descent black , not a feminine frippery abou
It , no pearl , no silver ; a revolver that mean
business and showed Its Intentions , honorably
"No , It's all right , " t > ald the burglar , ad
mlrlngly , "you could 'a plugged me , sure. "
"Unless you shot mo first. "
"Humph ! that would 'a. been dlfllcull
secln' mine ain't loaded and there's somethlni
the matter with the trigger so It can't g
off , else It would 'a been In the pawnshoi
'stead of here. "
"Well , " sighed "Miss Merryweather , "It *
a mercy you tried to burgle mo with tha
useless thing , Instead of some ono else. Now
for goodness sake , come down stairs and le
me give you that basket and get you off be
fore the servants come. "
Miss Merryweather had very much the sen
gallons of a burglar In her own house , as ah
despoiled the larder , the friendly burglar hold
Ing the candle. They hurried at ever ;
glimpse of the clock , they trembled at al
the creakings of the floor.
"Robblns never did stay out before late
than 12 or 1 , It's a quar Great heavens1 !
Miss Merry weather jumped. Suddenly she wa
bathed tn a flood of light and belli seemed t
be ringing all over the house !
"I guess the mats la straight goods , " sali
the burglar , "you trod on one by mistake
ma'am. Say ( what's that ? They're a hoi
lerlnu In the yard. I'll try this door "
"No , you will not , " said Miss Mcrryweathei
all herself again , "you will stay just wher
you are while I open the door. "
She was at the hall door before she endeil
calling loudly to the shrieking maids , wh
came In timidly ( except Robbjns ) , In th
rear of the two men , who we're nons to
valorous.
"Nothing Is the matter , " Bald Miss Merrj .
weather , "I stepped on the mat myself , I
works perfectly. Harriet , I've engaged
plumber ; he Is to work all night and th
plumbing will be done by tomorrow aftei
noon. It you need those extra tool * yo
better go home and get them now ( turnln
upon the b wtldered burglar ) and you don1
need that candle any more ; put It dowr
Don't forget the basket. "
"No , ma'm ; thank you , ma'am , " the bui
responded meekly , "and I'll be back-
"As soon as you c n , there' * no time I
lose. " said Mlu Mwyweatber. " 1U U
good plumber , " she announced calmly to he
dated domestic staff , "and I was lucky to g <
to htm. I have sent a basket of things to h
family , Odt him a good breakfast tomor
row morning , and I hope wo shall have a
thanksgiving , after all I sha'n't forget how
good you all are In thtso emergencies. "
The household knew too well Miss Merry-
weather's generosity , for these special efforts ,
to be happy ; but Robblni summed up the
general mixture ot disapprobation acd ad
miration ; she Bald : "Did you , over see the
like ! I believe Mlia Elinor would git her
will If she had to tear the world up by the
roots. "
The plumbing was done , and well done , by
4 ot the next afternoon. The burglar's fam
ily , ns well ns the Merryweathcr gathering ,
dined la' < i that Thanksgiving.
I cannot find any good moral tn thU tnlc
unless It be contained In Miss Merryweather's
own subsequent reflections "Now , aren't the
ways of Providence qnder1 ! Here's my bur
glar got A good pluinblnn shop and lot * ot
custom , simply by anuunbucccssful attempt
to rob. But then , It Ism merciful thing that
as ctir best Intentions/ * liable to bring
harm and misfortunevcotibur bad ones run
off the track , sometimes ! too. And , any
how. It wasn't bocoussilieirwas a burglar he
was lucky , but because hd wad such a re
markably gentle and cipropltlatlng burglar !
If he hadn't been , I should have had to shoot
him or sick Diogenes on him. I hope It will
be a Iceson to us both thntrtt Is better far to
rule by love than fearO and kind words con
never die and all that kind'of thing ! And It
was certainly n mercy * me that 1 feel truly
thankful for. I don't Unow how I could have
beaten the plumbers' \tlthout him. "
rjt.lTILK OF T1W POUXOHTEItS.
A small New York girl , who Is only 7
years old , one day last week gave tit for
tat In a very neat way. She was trudging
to school , carrying her luncheon In a little
covered basket , when a schoolmate , a boy
of 9 , overtook her. He must have been In
rather a bad humor , for his very first re
mark was :
"Say , I . wouldn't carry my lunch In a
fish-basket , anyway. "
The little miss turned and looked at htm.
Ho had his sandwiches and cake In a tin
box under his arm.
"Well , " she said quickly , "I wouldn't
carry mine In a bait bcx. " And the boy
had nothing to say.
The little girl had been fibbing and been
caught In the act. Discipline was neces
sary , nnd her father , a prominent West Side
politician , took her Into the nursery , gave
her a lectura oa the sin > of lying , and
scrubbed her mouth out tliaroughly with
soap and water.
"Now , Winifred , " he raid , with fathprly
firmness , as ho wiped away her tears , "yon
will never do the like again , will you , dear ? "
"No , papa , " answered Winifred , checking
a sob. "Have y you soaped your mouth
out since the 'lection , papa ? "
Tommy You don't know nothln' at all
about how folks ought to be baptized. What
does St. Paul say about It ? "
Sammy ( with much fierceness ) St. Paul
doesn't say nothln' about It. He's dead.
The Young brother I say brother Bob ,
lend me a quarter , will you ? '
The Lover What do you mean by calling
me brother Bob ?
The Young Brother Well , your name's
Bob , ain't It ? And sis says she's decided
to be a sister to you. And I'm her brother ,
ain't I ?
Teacher Now , Robbie , If I gave you one
pair ot skates and Katie gave you two more
pairs , what would you have ? Robbie A
picnic.
All told there are about 400 missionaries
engaged In .work on the'continent of South
America , with Its population ot 37,000,000
. people.
It Is stated that In France scarcely 5,000-
000 of the -10,000,000 reputed Roman Catholics
are worthy of the name , the rest being non-
churchgoers , unbelievers , atheists and anarch
ists.
General Bootn , " Vr-l by a newspaper In
terviewer , "Do you tlilnfcvtSr " ' 'lernlum will
, come If the whole world Is converted to the
Salvation army ? " replied : "It would be very
near at hand. If the Newspaper men were
converted tit would bo'a Very long'step ' In
that direction. " '
A novel method of evangelization has been
Inaugurated by the Episcopal church at
T. Tacoma. A gospel ship.wlj | bo fully equipped
for mission work along t'the shore line In
Puget Sound. ,
Of 210,863 men In the British army 143.-
, 129 belong to the Chur , h.of England , 30,878
arc Roman Catholics , , ,15,190 , Presbyterians ,
11,433 Wcsleyans , 1,802 Protestants of other
c. denominations , and ,0y7 Mohammedans ,
: Hindoos , etc. n s
; According to statistics from a trustworthy
s bourco Corea contains 000,00) Catholics , 180-
, 000 ot whom are maloi adults , and the rest
women and children , and ; 700,000 Protestants
and Greek Christians , half ot them adult
r males. Thus more than a quarter of the
population Is already Christian , so that the
present war has In thoieyas of the European
powers a character ot which account has not
hitherto been 'taken.
In view of the pitiless persecution of Jew * .
Stundlsts , Lutherans nnd Catholics under the
la to czar ot Russia , the remark attributed to
the young czar Nicholas Is one which all will
hope may prove to be well founded : "I am a
Christian ; but my belief In the Savior does
not entitle me to persecute others on account
of their faith. "
AS UlS MOTH EH VSEIt IO DO.
Itehobath IIcraM.
He criticised her puddings and he found
fault with her cake ;
He wished she'd make such biscuits as his
mother used to make ;
She didn't wash the dishes and she didn't
make n stew.
Nor even mend his stockings , as his mother
used to do.
:
Ills mother hnd six children , but by night
lier work was done ;
Ills -wife seemed drudging always , yet she
only had the one.
Ills mother always was \vell dressed , his
\vlfe would be EO , too ,
If only she could manage as his mother
used to do.
Ah , well ! She was not perfect , though she
tried to do lier best.
Until at length she thought her time had
come to take a rest ;
So when one day he went the same old
rigmarole through.
She turned nnd boxed his ears , Just as lila
mother used to do.
A FAMOUS LIBRARY.
Its Hundreds of Volumes- Arc Slmte of
Wood.
In a retired street of Cassel stands nn old-
fashioned , roomy house , the depository ol
the Natural History Mu'seum of Hesse. The
most unique and Interesting of the various
collections Is the so-called "Holzblbllothek , "
or library of wood , consisting of G4G volumes
In folio , octavo and duodecimo , made from
trees growing In Wllhelmshlre park , and representing -
resenting 120 genera and 441 species. On
the back of each volume Is a red morocco
shield , bearing the common and scientific
name of the tree , the class and species to
which It belongs according to Linnaeus , spec
imens of the moss and lichen peculiar to It ,
a bit of the rind or bark , and , It It Is resin
ous , a drop or two of the resin. The upp r edge
shows the young wood cut crosswise to exhibit
to the rlncs and pith , whllo the under edge la
of old wood , cut In the same manner , to Il
lustrate the changes which take place in the
texture as the tree gains In ago and size.
The top cover Is of unripe wood In the rough ;
the front edge shows a polished grain , and
alee the fungi to which the tree Is liable
when In the stages of decay or disease. At
tached to the front edge 'Is a cubic Inch ol
mature wood , on which i noted Its specific
weight when the sap la flowing In the early
prlng , again tn mldsumm'er , and still again
o when thoroughly dry. Under this Is given
the degree of heat obtainable from a cubic
. Inch of dry wood In a cublo Inch of space ,
" that given out by the same quantity when II
becomes a glowing coal ] Its diminished sz <
and weight when charrc-d'tind the propertlei
of the' tree , together with a description ol
the soil In which It nwrlslics best. Th <
Interior ot the book or box. contains a complete
n. plete- history ot the tree' especially of thi
orgatM ) of nourishment 'and fructification
There are capsules witu'seeds , the germ bud
with rootlets and first liaVes , a branch wltt
to leaves In various stages ! of , development , tin
flower from the tiny bud ( o the perfect bios
Mm , the fruit from the fembryo to IU ful
maturity , and , last of' oil , a skeletouliec
leat.
HOW
IMPORTANT
When buying- carpet to have one that is satisfactory both tn
style and quality. The best makes cost but little more , they
are worth the difference better wool , better dyes , better
work , gives better satisfaction , l
I We are offering in our Drop Pattern Sale some of the
< .1- Very best makes of goods at about / price :
Drop Patterns Best Ingrains - - 45c yard
" " " Tapestry Brussels 700 "
< ( " " "
Body Brussels - 850
. Why "drop patterns"Jitj ' iuse manufacturers vhavo
dropped them from their line and we cannot duplicate them
you may find some better patterns in our stock , but no better
goods.
See these as enrly as you canjit may save you something.
„ T
Orchard WilholiJi
CO.
1414-16-18 St.
- - Douglas .
C Complete Drapery Dept. and Floor.
Latest and BEST Methods in All Branches.
Large Dental Practice
Built up by doing- the best work
at Reasonable Prices.
Wamo boa become a household word tha
first that is suggested when one wants den
tistry douo. Don't bo misled by ndvortieora
who offer too much for the money. It must
bo poor work or it could not bo done no
cheap. Go to a reliable mnn whoso word is
good ; placu your teeth in his euro and ho
will bo responsible for their pressr-
vat ion.
Consult Dr. ROWLAND W. BAILEY
3D FLCOK PAXTON BLKIGF H MID FARNAM.
F r est Office Ip tneWest. . Lady Attendant. German Spoken ,
FORSYTfl'S ' PROUD RECORD
Sketch of the righting Oolonol of the
Famous Seventh Cavalry.
COOLLY BLUFFED THE BRITISH MARINES
UUtlngalilied In the Civil War , lie Adds to
HI" r.miroU on the Western I'lalns
lcsor\Kl Promotion to a De
partment Commamlor.
Tlio departure of Brigadier General James
W. Forsyth from Fort Hllcy , Kan. , to take
command of the Department ol California ,
removes from tlio mid-west one of the most
distinguished Indian fighters now living. He
has been Identified with tlio development of
tlio west for twenty years , the scourge of
savage outlawry , the promoter of peace by
fighting for It. He has seen hard service
during the war and on the plains , and his
promotion la a distinct reward of merit.
Colonel , now General Forsyth , was born at
Maumee , 0. , and graduated at West Point In
1850. The year after his graduation he was
married to a daughter of William Dennlson ,
Ohio's war governor , and Immediately went
to the far northwest , where the dlfllcultles
over the Urltlsh boundary line 'wero at their
height. To Forsyth came a unique honor that
told better than could anything else liow
highly ho la esteemed. HI ? military career
dates back to the San Juan Island Incident of
our government's history , an episode which
grew out of the "Fifty-four forty or flght"
controversy with Great Britain of ten years
before.
In the settlement of the disputed boundary
line of the northwest In 1SIG-47 the United
States did not get the line fixed at 04 degrees
40 minute ; , neither did It flght , but there was
left dispute San Juan Island , situated In
the straits midway between Vancouver Island ,
which had been awarded wholly to Great
Britain , and the mainland of the United
States , and It was while he was stationed
as a second lieutenant on this Island that
young Forsyth exhibited the soldierly quail
ties of dignity , courage and audacity which
afterward distinguished him In the war of the
rebellion.
PICKETT AND FORSYTH.
Forsyth graduated from West Point Mil
Itary academy two years after his friend ,
George Edward Plckett , afterward a famous
confederate general , had graduated. Forsyth
at his own request was assigned to duty
at Fort Relllngham , Washington territory ,
where Plckett was in command as captain.
Old General Harney , who was in command
of the Army of the Coast ono day visited
Ilelllngham , and ordered Captain Plckett to
take his little company of fifty-five men and
seize San Juan Island. The order was a wel
come one , and before the sun had set Camp
Plokctt had been pitched on the Island and
the American Hag unfurled above It , General
Ilarney sailed away to Monterey , Cal. , where
lil.i headquarters were.
In due time Sir James Douglas , governor
of British Columbia , received Information of
the occupancy of the Island by American
troops and sent three vessels of war to dls-
poiEesss them. The approach of the vessels
was the signal for Captain Plckett to pre
para to repulse the OritUh marines should
they attempt to land , and Lieutenant For-
ayth was sent to the beach with a detail of
soldiers to wain oft the visitors.
RETIRE Oft FIOIIT.
Sure enough a boat put out from the
ships and an officer rowed toward the 1st
and.
and."You must not undertake to land , " cried
Forsyth.
"But I will , " replied the IJrltlsh offlc r.
"Then I will order my men to ( Ire upon
you , " shouted Forsyth.
Thus the two officers bandied words , until
more boats containing marines came , and
Forsyth and his men were threatened with
slaughter. But he maintained his position ,
refusing to give his consent for the marines
to land , and finally pointed to tha flag flying
above the camp , and s ld that the American
government wa In possession of the Island
and he would fire unices the boats departed.
This was more than the British officer In
command had expected , and he withdrew to
obtain additional Instructions from the o.'Il-
cor In command of the expedition.
He was lent back with a message thai
a force of marines would be landed , anc
If the Americans resitted ( he ship * would
open ( Ira upon the camp. It was a desperate
case , and 1'oriyth fully looked ( or a fight
mless ho weakened , but he hail been detailed
: o keep off the British and not to treat with
: hcm , and he told the ofilcer to go back and
nil his commander to fire and be damned.
Tha message was literally conveyed , and the
ships were preparing for action wlion the
British admiral happened along In his flag
ship , and , realizing that the discharge of a
slnglo gun at the American camp would mean
war between the two countries , ordered a
change of tactics. Instead of a flght lie pro
posed a conference , which Captain Plckett
agreed to. The admiral suggested a Joint
occupancy of the Island until the dispute
could bo settled by the two governments.
[ 'Icltett refused , but the admiral was patient ,
ilo remained In the straits several months ,
exchanging visits with Plckett almost dally ,
regularly renewing his proposition.
Finally General Wlnflcld Scott , the com-
nander-ln-chlef of the American armies ,
came along and agreed to a joint occupancy
of the Island , which was continued until the
question was settled and the United States
awarded an undisputed title.
THE WAR PARTED FRIENDS.
Early In 1861 Plckett resigned and returned
to the east to join his fortunes with the
confederacy. He wrote to his friend Forsyth
advising hint that , as ho was comfortably
situated on the coait , ho would better remain
there and keep out of the war.
At the breaking out of the war he went to
the front and was ranked first lieutenant of
cavalry. He was hi Sheridan's division , and
took part In more than fifty battles , without
receiving a scratch. For services of merit at
Chlckamauga he was promoted to major , and
was again commenced by his superiors.
Sheridan was so pleased with him that he
made him his military secretary , and in that
capacity he served for six years , accompany
ing the general to Europe and witnessing
Sedan , Beaumont and Gravelotte.
When they returned he was sent to the
northwest. The Biinnocl ; Indians In Montana
were becoming unruly and Forsyth was sent
to quiet them. With eight companies of
cavalry ho attacked their war party and
completely vanquished them , driving them
back on the reservation and putting an end
to the troubles In that section. A number
of minor battles wcro fought with the red
skins In the northwest on this expedition.
WHIPPING THE CHEYENNES.
Forsyth's most distinguished service to
Kansas , however , was at the time of the
famous Cheyenne raid , when the tribe broke
out of Wyoming and came on a tour of
devastation down across Nebraska into north
west Kansas , and threatened to suoop across
the state. Many families as far cast as
Topeka had their household goon's loaded on
wngons , prepared for flight across the river
Into Missouri. Forsyth was on staff duty
In western Kansas , and gathered on short
notice n small company of troops from Fort
Wallace , and not waiting for reinforcements
started out after the marauders. He over
took the Clioyennen on the bank of the Re
publican fork of the Smoky Hill river , and a
fearful battle ensued. Over 900 redskins
came howling about the band of soldiers ,
less than a third as numerous. All day the
battle waged , and It Deemed as though an
other Ouster massacre was at hand. Tint
finally the soldiers won , and punished the
Indians until all surrendered. This battle
Is often called "the last charge of the Cliey-
cnnes , " so determined was It and so com
plete was the victory. The tribe has never
since made the government'nerlous ' trouble.
In 1886 Forty-Hi was made Inspector of
cavalry and colonel of the Seventh regiment ,
with headquarters at Fort 'Htley , where ho
has since been stationed. Five years ago the
national cavalry training school for cavalry
was located at the fort and the government
began Its largo expenditures on the reserva
tion ,
AT WOUNDED KNEE.
In 1891 , at dead of winter , Forsyth took the
Seventh to Pine nidge to put down the
trouble among the Sioux. The battles of
Wounded Knee and the surrounding region
are recent history. Hero occurred the treach
erous attack of the young bucks on the
soldiers In which seventeen Fort Illley men
were killed , and nf command of Forsyth the
troops made the fearful slaughter of the
Indians to put a halt to the uprising. For
this h was suspended by General Miles , anil
an Inquiry as to the needfulness of the order
ordering the troops to flro was made ,
Forsyth made no defense , but was found en
tirely warranted In Ills course , and was rein
stated as commander of Fort Illley and ro-
celved high praise from the secretary of
war.
war.The largest crowd Fort Rlley has seen In
years was wlion twelve months ago a monument
ment to those who fell In that contest wu
unveiled. All the state was represented , and
the handsome memorial , built of Kansas
stone , Is one of the attractions of the reser
vation. It stands on an eminence overlook
ing a wide stretch of pralrta , and shares
with tbo monument to Major Ogden , who
TO
J. FRANCIS , Gcn'l Pass'r Agent , OMAHA , NEB.
SURELY CURED.
To TJU : Emron I'lcnso inform your read *
ers tlint I Imvo n positive remedy for , the
above namoil disease. By ita timely uaa
thousands of hopeless cases have been per
manently cured. I shall bo glad to Bond
two bottles of my remedy free , to any of your
readers who Lave consumption if they will
Bond mo their express nnd post office address.
T. A. Blocum , M.O. . 183 PearlSt. . New York.
SEARLE8 &
SEARLES
SPECS&L9STS ,
Clironi ]
WE Nervous
Private
AND
CURE
Diseasss
Trcalmcnlby Mail , Consultation Fraj
Catarrh , all UiscnssH of the nose.
Throat. Chest.Stoniach.I.ivcr.Hlood
Skin nnd Kidney diseases , Lost
Manhood and all Private Dls *
cases of Men.
all o.i or uJJruj ) ,
Dr , Searlcs & Scarles ,
died at his post In 1SCC , the honors of tha
visitors.
For a decade ho has had command"ot the
Seventh cavalry , Custor'a old regiment , and
ot Fort Rlley , and has been the most noted
cavalry offlcer In the Department of the Mis
souri. The chief characteristic of his ad
ministration has been' his hospitality and hla
unvarying courtesy to the people ot the state ,
which has made the reservation the most
popular picnic ground that could bo selected.
In addition to these frequent visits , which
brought him close to the people , there were
great crowds on Decoration day , Fourth ol
July , and the special occasions which fort
life brought rnto existence ; so It Is llttlo
wonder that the people throughout Kansas
are at once sorry to see him leave the fort
and glad that ho has received his merited
promotion ,
In appearance Forayth la an Ideal solJIer ,
with snow white bsard and hair , II li tt
strict disciplinarian , yet Is beloved by his
men and many a soldier boy of the old Sov
cnth cavalry will have a big lump In his ;
throat when "the colonel" taken theeojtj
bound express at the llttlo station anronfc
the trees for hla now home. AS head of the
training school for cavalry , for which th6
Urge riding hall was built , ho has doip ]
the mounUd service much good , and Port
Rlley Itself owoa much of the beauty ajQl
adornment which make It one of tnct BI *
tlon'a best equipped post * to h. ! eftorti.