THE OMAHA DAILY BFE : SUNI ) < vV , APRIL 8 , 185)1 ) TWENTY PAGE
BISHOP BONACUJI ON TRIAL
"A Oelobrated Oaao Rapidly Hearing a
Determination.
UNPRECEDENTED IN CHURCH HISTORY
TliB CniHrn tit-adlng Op I" thn ' '
Oontrororny , tlio G'lmrRM PrnfrrriMl und
the IMIIP * Iiinihcd-Sonii ! Lively
Ccirrcupiinilem'O.
Tlio charges preferred by the priests of
tlio dloccso of Lincoln against the Ht. Hov.
Thomas llonacum , bishop of that diocese ,
supplementing a demand for tils removal ,
will conic tip for hearing , according tn pres
ent arrangements , on Thursday of this week ,
before Archbishop Ilennessy of Dubilque.
Whether the hearing Is to bo an ecclesias
tical trial In regular form , or merely an In
vestigation , Is undetermined. The com-
plalnnnts Insist on a trial and will not bo sat
isfied with less They also Insist that the
proceedings be held In Lincoln , Instead of
Omaha , the former place being more con
venient for all ooncertied.
The twenty two charges originally filed
with Mgr Satolll , apostolic delegate , ugalnst
Illshop Honiicmn have been reduced to fif
teen Ten priests of the dloceso signed the
original Indictment , fifteen out of the
thirty-two priests ordained for tlio diocese
are nctlvu supporters of the revised Indict
ment , and they claim a majority of the re
mainder passively approve the movement
The fifteen chaiges against the bishop are
"Maladministration , tyranny , oppression ,
Insubordination , Inciting strife , slander
and llbol , arbitrary exercise and abuse
of power , violation of diocesan statutes ,
misappropriation , falsehood , speculation ,
undue Influence , unjust favoritism , scandal ,
gambling and Incltatlon to perjury. "
Thcso arc supplemented with 115
specifications , the whole comprising a
document of twenty typewritten pages Over
100 witnesses , priests , nuns and Hymen
will appear In support of the charges If a
trial Is determined on , and. In that event ,
the proceedings arc likely to occupy several
weeks ,
AN EPOCH IN CHURCH HISTORY.
If a regular trial Is had under canon law ,
the event A 111 form an epoch In the history
of the Human Catholic church In the
United States. Iho trial of a bishop Is
extremely rare even In the old world and
Is unprecedented In the western church
Heretofore bishops accused of , grave offenses
have been called to Homo and quietly sup
pressed by removal to some distant diocese
or placed on the retired list The send
Ing of a pipal delegate to the United States
reversed this policy to some extent , b >
creating a local court for the determination
of questions of church management aris
ing In this country Tor reasons here
after explained proceedings In the case of
Bishop Honacum will bo had before Arch
bishop Hennussy Instead of the papal dele-
Kate. The archbishop will preside and
proceedings , as near as can be ascertained ,
will bo similar to civil trials to court. Ap
peal from the findings may then bi had to
the papal delegate und finally to Rome.
The progress of the case , the proceedings
heretofore hail , and the prospect of an
early determination , excites keen Interest
among churchmen. To priests it Is espe
cially Important , not on account of the
gravity of the charges preferred ugalnst
the bishop of Lincoln , but because It in
volves the question whether or not bishops
are bound to respect and obey the laws
of the church In their relations with sub
ordinates.
THH GOVERNMENT OP DIOCESES.
An explanation of the laws enacted for
the government of the church In this coun
try Is necessary to a proper understand
ing of the questions involved. The Catho
lic church In America , up to a recent
period , has been classed as a missionary
church. As such It was exempt from the
well defined laws which govern the
church In older countries In Europe
canon laws clearly deflno the powers
und duties of the clergy and
provide a comprehensive Judicial system
for the determination of all questions In
volving church government. In the United
States the rules of government are those
laid down in the Haltlmoro decrees , but their
enforcement depends on the will of the
bishop. These rules , or laws , were the out
come of the earnest efforts of Pope Leo to
bring about u better sjstcm of church gov
ernment In this country , and remedy the
abuses complilnrd of bj priests. In 1SS3
the archbishops were summoned to Rome
for consultation. At that meeting and prior
thereto tlio pope expressed a deslro to send
a papal delegate to the United States , with
a vlow to ending the missionary system and
establishing canon liw. His desires in this
regard were successfully overcome. It was
contended the country was not old enough
for a sweeping change , the effect of which
would bo u curtailment of episcopal powers
As a compromise the third plenary council
of Baltimore was held the following year.
DIOCESAN REGULATIONS.
The laws .enacted by the council direct
that each diocese shall havea board of con-
suiters , an episcopal court for the disposi
tion of disciplinary and matrimonial cases ,
a certain ininibor of deaneries , to bo deter
mined by the extent and population of the
dloceso , and , when possible , in the Judgment
of the bishop , a certain number of so-called
Irremovable rectors. Iho bishop is required
to consult his consulters In such matters as
the division of a parish or the erection of a
new one , and In the s > ale and purchase of
diocesan property exceeding In amount
| 5,000. Olio-half of the consulters are
elected by the priests and the remainder
chosen by the bishop In case of discord
between priests and bishop , It Is possible
for the latter to defeat the popular choice
of the priests , as tlio election ,
sa-cnllcil , must receive the approval
of the bishop Thus the law intended to
glvo priests representation In the gov
ernment of u dlocesu may be wholly de
feated If the bishop Is so disposed He Is
practically u law unto himself Ho may
follow the advice of consulters or do other
wise. The existence of tlio bo-ml under
these conditions Is of no practical value The
disciplinary court for tlio trial of offending
priests Is organized as occasion calls , and Is
temporary In character. Each bishop Is re
quired to appoint a prosecuting attorney
Irremovable rectors , as the name Implies ,
cannot bo moved from their parl lies without
a trial Movable rectors may bo moved at
any time at the will of the bishop , but the
bishop Is cautioned by thu council never to
move a priest out of his pirlsh against his
will except for "grave cause. "
LAWS IGNORED
The advice of the council as well as the
laws have been Ignored in more than ono
diocese Repeated rcbuUes from Homo have
had little effect , In homo Instances , In giv
ing them vitality A cato may bo Instanced
to Illustiato the deslro of the pope to render
the Haltlmoro laws effective When a see
becomes vacant or u now ono Is created , the
laws requite that the coiihiiltors of the
diocese shall submit the names of three
candidates for bishop These names must bo
forwarded to Rome with thu names selected
by the hlHhops of the province After the
death of Dlshop O'Connor of Omaha this
law was Ignored Tlio archbishop and
bishops of the province mot In St Louis and
forunrdml their nominations to headquarters
The consulters of the diocese , at a meeting
In Omaha , clioso a candidate for the vacanc )
nnd sent the nomination to Rome , together
with a protest against the action of the
bishops In Ignoring the consulted In due
tlmo thu archbishop of St Louis was notified
to proceeil In the Omaha casu In accordance
with the llalllmore decrees The consulters
were then consulted No such proceedings
were had In the selection of bishop for the
diocese of Lincoln , and the complaining
priests assort , as n matter of law. that his
election Is void
A DIOCESR WITHOUT LAW.
Kv'ory blbhop Is required , within nix
months after IiU Instillation , to Institute
the machinery of government outlined above.
The bishop of Lincoln ls charged with Ignor
ing the law. So far as the complaining
, , priests ore aware , consulters have not been
appointed , no court organUcd for the trial
of accusations made by the bishop against
prlestB , and removals have bsen made and
jmnUhmont Inflcted ou priosta without , they
clnlin , reagonablo or Just cause. Without
means of relief through n illoceiun court , AII
np [ > enl ( o tlio jminl ilclcgato wan the only
alternative left the prlestH.
from the filing of the original charges
against the bluhop n year ngo to tlic present
time the cane has developed from a diocesan
row to a controversy of International mag
nitude. Its ramifications extend from Lin
coln to tlio Vatican and Involve * the ecclesi
astical factions recently arrayed for nnd
against the citnhllshment nf n papal delega
tion In this country. Although there In a
calm on tlio surfacn of tlili troubled BOO. n
storm rages beneath. Its area Is steadily
widening and It IB not Improbable that ere
long It will draw Into lt vortex many dig
nitaries outside of the Lincoln dloccso. Tre-
tncndoui pressure Imi been exerted from
various quarters to prevent a trial of the
charges. Not only have the complaining
priests been Importuned to cease agitation ,
but the hearing has been delayed and the
attorneys cmplojcd by the priests have been
harrassed and ono withdrawn from the casi *
at the moment of trial.
Tim ACCUSED AND ACCUSERS
So far ns known , no defense has been at
tempted by the bishop. His answer to the
charges at the tlmo of their receipt from
Mgr K.Uolll Is In the nature of a general
denial , coupled ultli the assertion that the
charges "arc utterly unknown In this
vicinity" ( Lincoln ) . Ho Indicated a vvlllliiK-
ness to make answer , but the complainants
have hot received a copy of the answer , If
It Is In existence On the other hand , the
accusers possess a mass of documentary
evidence , aflUltvlts and oral proofs to sub
stantiate the charges. Their production and
verlllcatlon In court will create on eccle
siastical sensation And from Information
at hand from a reliable source , It Is reason
ably certain the proofs will bo produced
cither In an ccclcclastical or civil court.
An effort was made to end the discord last
June. Mgr. Satolll visited Omaha In re
sponse to the demand ! ) of the complainants
A heirlng was had for three days at the res
idence of Hisliop Scannell The gravity of
the charges against the bishop nnd the
proofs submitted caused the delegate to pro
ceed cautiously. While anxious for a settle
ment of the case , and expressing sympathy
for the priests , ho thought the case should
take the usual course through the archblshor.
of the province. The priests urged a trial
by the delegate , because the other course
me nil great delay , owing to the enfeebled
condition of Archbishop Kenrlck This fear
was allayed by assurances that the province
would bo divided and a new arch
bishop appointed , who would promptly
tly the case Vending further proceed
ings , and at the request of the
complaining priests , the delegate bound the
bishop In writing to keep the peace. In this
truce the bishop promised he would "forget
and condone , " or forget and forglve , and
that ho would do nothing against the com
plainants The treatment of the priests on
this occasion was very kind and s > mpathetlc
The delegate assured them that he believed
"the only solution of the Lincoln case and
trouble would be the Immediate removal
of the bishop , " nnd that he did not want to
lake the responsibility of the removal , al
though he had the power to do so.
THE VIOLATED TRUCE.
The truce signed by lilshop llonacum and
now In the possession of Mgr. Satolll , Is one
of the documents relied upon to provo the
charge of untrutlifulnc s. In a letter pub
lished In the "Amerlka" of St. Louis , Illshop
Donacum denied having signed the truce
and repudiated It. The repudiation was fol
lowed by the dismissal of rather Loiighran
from the pro-cathedral at Lincoln , the dis
missal of rather Qulmi and the various
scandalous proceedings against rather Cor-
bett of Palmyra. These various acts were
a violation of the truc . In every instance
where tlio priests declined to obey the orders
of dismissal , they were sustained by Mgr.
Satolll , which In effect removed them from
the jurisdiction of the bishop. This is why
Father Corbett reslsti the orders of
dismissal He , has. It Is claimed , been dis
missed three or four times , yet he holds the
fort ! n accordance with orders from higher
authority.
THE FIGHTING CORDETT.
Father Corbett has been singled out by the
bishop as the body and soul of the "In
surgent" movement. Many suppose he Is
responsible for the trouble , and'are not spar
ing In condemning his conduct. He Is but
one of tho' fifteen complaining priests , the
leader by selection , not from choice , and
one , It will be found when the trial Is had ,
who has been more "sinned against than
sinning" He has been obliged to bear the
brunt of the contest. The thunders of epls-
copil wrath have been hurled at him con
tinuously , and the civil courts have been In
voked to accomplish his removal. An in
junction was Issued by the district court of
Otoe county at the instance of the bishop , re
straining a bank from paying church funds
deposited In the name of rather Corbett
This action of the bishop was followed by an
order dismissing Father Cornell from Ihe
Palmyra mission not In the form required
by church law. but by printed circulars dis
tributed among members of the congregation.
Father Corbett was not officially notified
nnd was unaware of the bishop's action
until shown the circular. The arrest of Hie
bishop on tlio charge of criminal libel and
the subsequent trial , though seemingly
harsh and uncalled for , had the effect de
sired. It served to focus attention on the
discords in Iho Lincoln diocese , the conflicts
'of aulhorlty and the scandals arising there
from. Affairs were thus brought to crisis
Either the church authorities must take
action for the relief of the prFests or relief
would be sought In Iho civil courts.
TUEL FOR THE FLASIES.
Rev. D S. Phelan of St. Louts , counsel
for the complainants , Incurred a share of
episcopal hostility. Proceedings against him
wcro instituted by the bishop of Lincoln
with a vlow to his suspension
from the priesthood on the charge
of utlerlng disrespectful language during the
Lincoln trial. The replies of Rev. Phelan
through the Western Watchman gave offense
to the coadjutor archbishop of St. Louis and
public condemnation of Iho newspaper fol
lowed. All Iheso acts growing out of th
Lincoln entente stirred the smoldering fire- ,
Into a lively conflagration. Those In author
ity realized that further delay of decisive ac
tion would provoke greater scandal. The
Injunction suit still pending In Nebraska
City served as a wedge to force the higher
powers The priests Informed the papal dele
gate that unless the authorities gave them
thu hearing promised In accordance with
law , they would undertake to establish the
truth of their charges at the hearing of the
injunction suit In the civil court. This , It
IB said , brought positive orders to Arch
bishop Hennessy , both from the papal dele
gate and from Iho propaganda , to proceed
at once with the hearing and determination
of the charges. The civil case la-set for
hearing on tlio IGtli Inst The ecclesiastical
hearing Is sot for the 12th Inst.
A SPIRITED PROTEST.
On receipt of the notification of the hearIng -
Ing from Archbishop Ilennessy. the com
plainants arranged to meet In Lincoln last
Sunday A protest was drafted against the
hearing being held In Omaha , and against
an "Investigation , " for reasons explained in
n letter to the archbishop , of which the fol
lowing Is a copy.
LINCOLN , Neb. , March 3D , 1SOI To Your
Ctrnco , John HenneHs > , I ) D , Archblshon of
Uubuque Most Itev nnd Bear Sliour
letters of the -flth to some of the priests of
this dioceseucnimlntltitf them Unit your
cruce would Investigate onr ecclealnstlral
grievances , have been duly received , and
uu In ussembly respond us follows
ClmrgoH iigalnst our bishop , ThomaH llonu-
cum , asking for his removal from this diocese
cese weio lodged and entertained by the
apostolic di-lec'ite ' n > eai ngo , A cop > of
the Fume vviw nerved on Hlght Itev
ThomnH lioimcum. accompanied with u re-
quiHl from the papal court to lilt ? an an
swer to tin * .fame. Then after the bishop
had cited priests to appeal before- the com
mission of InvfHtlKnllon of this dloccso for
the punio.se of proving the charges made
ngnlnst himself , nnd having tmvelid
through Iho states of Neliiaska anil Mis-
Homl to Beciiru aflldavltH to refute the
chaws nnd condemn the prlestH who pre
ferred them , the apostolic court came to
Omaha and hold u session , duo to the fact
that Illshop Scannell , who was delegated
liy tin- papal court to Investigate the said
chaws preferred und entertained b > the
papal court , having attempted to Investi
gate our charKes. and perceiving that they
were most Intricate and complex , did ac
quaint Msr , Satolll that It was Impossible
for him to InviHtlgnte or handle the CIH *
Mgr , Katolll , with the \m\m\ \ \ \ court , notified
us to bo present before ihelr tribunal BI- !
tliur ut Omaha on June 5. 1S1U , for the
purpose of proving the charges preferred
against our ordinary , wbo was commanded
to appear before the same- court aa
defendant In the case. We waited
three du > s for his uppearance. but
waited In vuln. The apo.stollu court asked
us to telcct ono of two wu > s levognlzed
by the general law of the Uiurch that we
might prove the ctmrgva preferred. We
nolccted u formal or nummary trial , but
Illshop llonacum refusing to put In his
appearance caused the pupal court to dis
miss the case for that time , assuring us
that after n contract had been sinned be
tween Illshop llonacum nnd the complain
ing priests , > our grace would hold xueh
trial ns noon n * possible. We have waited
patiently nnd long for this promised trial ,
we have been Infoimed that not only the
apostolic delegate , but the Congregation of
the I'ropognndn , linn ordered you to html
said trial Immediately. This Inform Ulpn
gave us hope that ut last Justice would bo
soon vindicated , but now you serve notice
on us that > ou will "Investigate our al
leged grievances" In Omaha , Why not n
trln7 ! And why should yon Investigate
onr grievances In Omaha ? We have had
two such Investigations In Omnlui nt n
great expense to no purpose. Many of
our witnesses , who number about 1W , In
cluding priests , nuns nnd laity , will Hud It ,
as vou well know , practically Impossible
to go BO far as Omaha If you think that
another simple nnd partial Investigation
will satisfy Justice > ou have doubtless been
deceived ns to the pulse and feelings or tne
priests and people of the Lincoln diocese
In the name of all sincerity and Justice.
in obedience to the dictates of our con
science , for the sake of extending equal
rights to all nnd special privileges to none ,
we ask your grace to grant and to hold In
the city of Lincoln a canonical trial. \v e ,
the complaining priest- . , with all reverence
nnd respect , absolutely and llrmly refuse
to be parties to another star-cbnmbcr In
vestigation In Omaha , or any place else.
Our charges and specifications demand a
formal or summary tilnl , which wo trust
will be held In Lincoln on April 12th next
Awaiting a favorable reply , we icnmln
jours respectfully In Christ , . . , . ,
„ „ „
rmfcsTS OF LINCOLN pipcnsn ,
per D. Fltzgernld , Secretary.
WHAT TUB PRIESTS DEMAND.
follow Ing It a copy of a letter of similar
tenor forwarded to Mgr Satolll , papal dcle-
8MNCOlN ! , Neb. March 31 , 1801To His
Giace , Francis S.itolll , Delegate Apostolic
Your Excellency Enclosed herein please
find copy of iv letter we , the complaining
priests of the Lincoln diocese , have sent
to his grace. John Henncssj , nrchblshop of
Dubuque , to whom > ou referred for trial
Ihe charges against our ordinary , Illshop
Honacum , protesllng ngalnst an 'Investiga
tion" of our grievances at Omaha.
have read the charges nnd specifications
and know full well that In order that Jus
tice mn > be extended to our ordinary ,
Thomas Honacum , and to us , the complain
ing priests , they call for either n formal
or a summary trl I
Omaha Is situated about seventy-five
miles from Lincoln , Lincoln Is the rnllwaj
center of the state and Is easily accessible
from all purls , while Omaha Is situated
upon the extreme boundary thereof Lin
coln Is the residence of the bishop , and
many , na > , mosl of Ihe witnesses to be
called on the trial reside In or near that
city It will be an almost Intolerable ex
pense , nnd such an expense as to prevent
that full and fair trial that Justice and the
the imperative Interests of the church In
this stale demand , lo hold s ild tilnl til
Omaha It will amount lo a denial of Jus
tice , and degrade the proceduie Into the
veilesl faifo If It Is the opinion of his
Kruce that to hold the "InvestlBiillon" In
Omaha will tend to limit the extent of the
"scandal , " he is mistaken , for such a
course will but serve to convince the lally
and clergy , and the people of the stale ,
Catholic and I'rolestant alike , that there
Is a determined effort to suppress the facts ,
to stifle Investigation , and to "whitewash"
the bishop , which result would be a calam
ity to religion nnd a dlsgiace to the fair
name of our chuich , and work our cause
-parable Injury.
We were led to believe , at Omaha , thai
your excellency had ordeied his grace ,
Aichblshop Ilennessy , lo fully , fairly and
Impartially Iry the bishop upon Ihe chniges
preferred ngalnst him by ills priests , and
we are of the belief now tint his grace
has misinterpreted and mlTtinderstoo 1 your
orders In that behalf , nnd will hold an ex
pitte examination , which will result In the
mlscanlage of jusllce Wllnesses cannel
allend , and theie cannot be such a trial ns
we believe jour excellency designed to
order. If , however. It Is jour order thai
the Invesllgallon proceed along Ihe lines
Indicated by his grace , we will appear and
make the best presentation of our case
possible under such adverse circumstances ,
but we have faint hope thai the trulh will
be brought out , or thai a Jusl judgment
will be pronounced In the case. This Is
said wlthoul Impugning ellher the fairness
or the purity of the niolives of his grace.
bul only because such a "trial1 will be
one-sided and partial.
We. therefore , piny jour excellency , If
any misunderstanding now exists , to make
jour instructions to his grace so clear nnd
definite that no possible mistake may be
made : that jou v. Ill order the charges and
specifications fully tried ; that such trial
may be had at Lincoln And we pi ay
joui excellency to believe thai Ihese re-
quesls nre made , not for vexation or delay.
nor In a spirit of persecution of our orcli-
nnrj- . but thai subslontlal jusllce mav be
done : that the truth may prevail and be
vindicated. All this ad mujoram del
K '
Awult'liiR nn early and a favorable
answer , we remain , your excellency , your
of the Dloceso of Lincoln , Nebraska.
Itev. Dennis ritzgeiald , Secu-tary.
Auburn , Neb.
ORGANIZED FOR ACTION.
The complaining priosls and olhers have
organized the St. Dernard's union. At
present It Is confined to the diocese of
Lincoln , but Its promoters nope u win IUKU
root In every diocese. Tor the present ,
however , the union will look after the In
terests of priests who may become Innocent
victims of episcopal wrath. For the prose-
cullen of Iho charges agalnsl Dlshop Uona-
cum Iho necessary means for Iho employ
ment of lawyers nnd defraying other ex
penses , have been collected by the union.
Dr. Pholan of St. Louis will conduct the
case for the priests. Dr. Smith , a Now
Jersey canonist , had been retained and
helped to prepare the papers , but ho with
drew from the case a few weeks ago. Dr.
Smith Is a priest In the dloceso of Bishop
Wlgger , and this fact Is given as sufficient
explanation for his withdrawal. His place
will bo taken by Dr , Uurtsoll of Rondout ,
N. Y. , the noted defender of Dr. McGljnn ,
should ho retuin from Rome in lime.
BIOGRAPHY OF THE BISHOP.
nt. Rev. Thonns Honacum , D D . is an
Irishman of German extraction , born Janu
ary 29 , 1817 , near Thurles , county Tip-
porary , Ireland. He was scarcely a year
old when the family emigrated to America
nnd settled In SI. Louts. His Iralnlng
for Ihe prleslhood began by sludjlng Iho
classics at tlio Saleslam , near Milwaukee ,
followed by a theological course at the
diocesan i seminary , Capo Glrardeau , Mo.
Ho was ordained In St. Louis , June IS , 1870.
Subsequently ho went abroad and attended
a course of lectuics at the University of
Wursburg. In 1881 ho assumed charge of
the Church of the Holy Name , St. Louh.
Upon the division of the dloceso of Ne
braska In 1880 , and the erection of the
diocese of Lincoln , comprising all of Ne
braska south of the Platte river , Father
Honacum was chosen bishop and was con
secrated In SI. Louis , November 30 , 18S7.
PLUMB FUI/L. . OF PIE.
A fjoutlieriK'r'H diiiphlc Denirlptlon of tlio
ltoH In Illuo lit ApponmttOT.
The southern Idea of plo Is extremely
crude when applied to thai succulent north
ern dish , and subtly defined when directed
to the political variety , says the Washing
ton Post. The farthest development In the
plo line that the nntlvo southerner has at
tained to Is a manufacture of sweet potato ,
which Is a state's prison counterfeit and
forgery of the New England pumpkin pie ,
and even thai base Imitation has obtained
foothold no further south than South Care
lina. Congiobsman Cniln of Texas siys the
people of Texas regard the plo family as
Caesar regarded Gaul divided Into three
kinds , "thu klvercd , the unklvered and the
cross-barred "
" 1 overheard , " said he , "some jears ngo
a great debate between a northern printer
and a southern compositor on thu subject of
thu late war. Thu southerner was hot , Im
petuous and bentlmental "
" 'Why , didn't wo lick jou out of jour
boots at Mamissa ? '
" 'Granted , ' said the northern tjpo-
stlcker.
" 'Didn't we smash you at Cold Harbor
and wipe the ground up with jou in the
Wilderness ? '
" 'Granted , ' said the other ,
" 'Didn't we tlo jou all up In knots and
make rags of you all through the Peninsular
campaign ? '
" 'Granted , ' said the northerner , 'but how
was It at Apponmttox ? '
" 'Yes. how waa It at Appomattox ? ' shouted
the. southerner , growing sentimental as the
mingled beers'and whiskies they were con
suming rose to his head 'We had 13,000
poor , ragged , footsore , tired , starved vctui-
ans. without a single round of ammunition.
while you had 300,000 fat , sassy so Id lorn ,
provided with every luxury , und e every
m-m-mother'b bon of 'em , ho sobbed , 'plumb
f.full of pie1 ! "
I'rliitlni ; Iliiuj4o
CHICAGO , April 7. The Empire Show
Printing company , one of the bent known
establishments In Chicago , has assigned.
JAMES Jill , THE BALD HEAD
His Unconscious Debut as a Mute Comedian
in $ othnm.
'
A FUNNY SHOW/NO , , GUN IN SIGHT
U I
A Tainted ( Irlmnctt on u lluld 1'titn unit Uu
Miirtllni ; KfTnH on the Crowd-A
Warning1to thu llulr-
iiu < * .
A lightning sketch artist furnished unex
pected amusement for the audience which
gathered at the American theater In Now
York on Monday night. The artist did not
appear on the stage , sijs the nrtlsilc narrator
rater of the Sun , but he cat In the audience ,
and his basis of operations was the very bald
head of a very fat man , whose nnme was
Jim. At least that Is what his friends
called him.
The baldness of Jim Is remarkable , not
for Us quantity , for ho has a straggling
fringe of dl cotiraBed hair all about his
head , but for Its qualltj. A man may be
mildly , dully , Inconspicuously hairless , or
ha may shine , cranlallj considered , and Jim
Is possessed of a luminous Intensity of ra-
dlenl baldness that Is comparable only to
Iho headlight of a locomotive This circle
of dazzling aridity Is just where It will do
Ihe mosl good , dlrecllj at the crown of Iho
head. Like most fat men , Jim Is good
natured , and when his friends guy him as
lo his capillary shortcomings ho merely
laughs and philosophically observes that It
Is better to be bald on Iho outside of one's
head than on Ihe Inside Now Jim , being
fond of Ihe theater , gel iwo of his friends
and went to see "A Woman of No Import
ation" on Monday night. They had good
seats In the middle of the house , and get
ting there rather early they sellled back lo
wait. Presently Jim grew weary and ad
vanced a proposition , Invariably couched b )
him In a time-honored formula and just as
Invarlablj * responded to by his friends.
"There's nothing going on , " said Jim
" "
"Lossavadrlnk
Out nicd the trio. Deforo their return
two men who arc friends of Jim nnd his
friends , came In and occupied seats directly
behind those the three had just left. One of
these two Is nn artist by nature , though not
by profession , and his strong point is cari
caturing When Ihe Irlo returned , forti
fied by various drinks , the curtain had al
ready risen , and in their haste lo gel In
ihey fulled to notice the two men Just be
hind them. The flrsi act pibsod without
disturbance , and nt the conclusion Jim
turned to his friends und said
"Lots of tlmo between the acts. Lessava- <
drink. "
As they wore about to act on the Invlta-
'tlon ' a voice behind them said meditatively
"Well , there arc bild men nnd bald men ,
but I'm a green-ejed crawfish If I ever saw
a bald man so Infernallv bald as that duffer
Just In front of us "
"That's right , " rqsponded a second voice.
"I've been many a jiljllard ball lhat was the
seven Sutherland sisters combined along
side of the top of tlat. | head "
"Somo men are born bald , " proceeded
the first speaker , "s > omo achieve baldness ,
and some have the t hair thrust off them
Now , I should suppose that lhat chap had
nil throe " n i
"Look here , " Interrupted Jim , unable to
end re this style of thing from strangers.
"I don't know wljo jou nre. bul unless
you're looking for1 Iroublo Huh ! Oh , It's
you fellows , Is It ? Well. I thought the
voices were kind p' familiar. We're Just
going out. Join us , ? , Lessavadrlnk. "
This Invitation was Jim's undoing. II was
readily acceplod , an Ihe Irlo , followed by
Iho pair , walked out. How the artlsl con-
Irlved to accomp'lls.h his nefarious lask
wllbout the knowledge of his victim Is a
mjslerj % Perhaps , he did It under the guise
of phrenology , of Tiossibly he hj-pnotlzod
his victim. At any rate whenJim , left the
saloon afler consuming his share of Iho
drinks ho carried qulle unwillingly on his
head a charcoal portrait of a man's face.
The curtain was jusl rising on Ihe second
act when Jim. having resumed his seat ,
took off his hat In tfifssful Ignorance of Ihe
fad lhat ho was being llbellously hold up to
public derision by the back of his own head.
What those behind him saw was a leering ,
hideous , sarcastic , contemptuous face grin
ning at them from out of a slraggllng
fringe of hair. The light , reflected from
its shining surface , gave it a devilish ap
pearance of beaming satisfaction thai was
so contagious that those who saw It burst
Into roars of laughter. Jim's friends were
convulhed and grew purple In the face.
"Well , I don't see anything so devilish
funny about this nlav. " snl/l .Tim tn iiimanir
"but I suppose I didn't catch the joke. "
Accordingly , not to bo left out In the cold ,
ho threw back his head and laughed with
the rest of thorn. It was the worst thing he
could have done. His fat nock , pushed up
by his collar , moved his scalp and ripples of
uncanny merriment went shimmering over
the countenance of his hinder self. The
howl that followed this exhibition drew the
attention of Ihe whole house to Ihe unfor
tunate. Jim. A man back of him began
choking , and a girl near toy Kecamo hj-sterl-
cal. The ushers wore leaning against the
walls , weak and shaken by their paroxjsms
of laughter. Jim didn't see the point , but
as everything seemed to bo going along
swimmingly on the stage ho laughed with
Iho olhers. In llmo Iho inorrlmenl wore
Itself out and at the conclusion of the act
Jim turned to the artist and said
"Guess I must bo thick-headed tonight.
I think I need a lltllo bracln' up. Less
avadrlnk. "
So much bracing up was necessary Ihnl
the party missed the next act entire and got
In Just as the curtain was rising on the
fourth act. Now. this act is not humorous
In fact It is quite the reverbo. As Jim sat
down Ihe expression of hm Ktca forward was
sad and subdued , but the expression of his
face aft was reeking with fiendish merri
ment. Jim heard a few convulsive giggles
back of him , then a ripple of laughter Ihal
grew and grow. The grotesque grin of Jim's
rear view hud taken u fresh hold on the
bpectalors. Hut the unfortunate two-faced
man couldn't see the point at all. More
over he didn't like to see the pathos of the
play spoiled by the untoward merriment
and ho was puzzled and rather unhappy.
Like many other men Jim assists mental
processes by scratching his head. He tried
It then , with startling results.
Ills fingers so adjusted themselves as to
alter slightly the charcoal marks on his
head. Tlio two corners of the mouth of the
countenance were dragged down and ono
eye was turned upward and outward When
ho took his hand down the audience beheld
glooming out froni his cranium a cross
eyed demon , wearlng/an / expression of medi
tative melancholy. , The howls of laughter
thai greeted this how manifestation almost
brought the piny tu.an end , und they made
Jim very llrcd.
"Sh-h-h-h-h1" ho hissed Indignantly nl
those behind him Then ho turned to his
companions who wcro holding their sirlos and
observed
' It may bo all right , but I can't see any
thing bo d n humqqous in a lady trjlng to
keep her only son from leaving her. It
don't seem to hit iiio on the funny side ,
bomeliow It's only ono part of the audience
that's laughing anj wuy The people In
front of ns ain't so'tlckled to death. Strikes
me as mighty queM- . "
Junt then a boyHh voice from behind
piped up ' '
"Why don't jou turn that picture toward
the wall ? " , /r !
Everybody In front of the voice turned
around , Jim included. That presenled his
charcoal countenance to the vlow of those
In the front of the house und sot them off
Tor a space of tlmo the actors might hate
been In Hobokcti and no one would liavo
known the difference. The house racked
and throbbed with merriment. High abovu
the laughter could be heard the voice of
Jim , who had suddenly arrived at the con
clusion that In the midst of a crowd of
lunatics ono should not needlessly show one's
difference from the others Therefore he
liuched with the rest.
And us Jim laughed und twisted his head
about , the face or the Inkl spot became con
vulsed with anguish bj the movements of
the sculp It was a lone time before ) the
house quieted dawn , and until the drop cur
tain fell u snicker here and there would tes
tify to uomu new grimace on the part of
Jlm'H demon. An Jlin'put on his hut to go
out the artist turned to him and said
"Well , Jim , what dU you think of it ? "
"OU , It's Krt , " said Jim , 'very funny
Say. I had to laugh there In the last net
Hut < rsay , of lourse It v\ag out of sight
but , jou know , gome way 1 couldn't quite
catch on cr- there at the end where the
lidy Is crjlng and the boy Is crying , und
er It seems almost kinder pithctlc , > ou
know , nml-cr I wish one of you fellow a
would tell mo wlmt thcru was so d n funny
about that , anjwuy , I couldn't sec It. "
' No , and what's more , you never will see
It. " responded the artist ' Vou ain't built
that way In the Ian gun go of jour leisure
moments , lessavadrlnk. "
And Jim never will sec It , for In the
course of that drink the artist wiped It off ,
An i\ti-llint : Medicine.
Our druggists sell a preparation for rheu
matism that has performed some remark
able cures Prank Shcpardson , an engineer
on Iho Southern Pacific railway who resides
at Los Angeles , Cat. , was troubled with
rheumatism for a long time Ho was
treated by several phjslclans , also visited
the Hot Springs , but received no permanent
relief until ho used Chamberlain's Pain
Ililm , which Is the medicine referred to
above. He says It Is the best medicine In
the world for rheumatism , '
PARTED BY A TRICK.
ItMinlon After Tollmenoir < of n Couple
epunUril l j 1'orgerj.
A remarkable story , full of romance and
pathos , Is revealed by the reunion of two old
sweethearts In New York This couple
were estranged fourteen jears ago by mcain
of forged letters written by a rival suitor
for the woman's hand. The death of a wife
nnd a husband brought the two lovers to
gether again About seven jears ngo Law-
jer Phillips was engaged In recovering com
missions for several American ? who arranged
the sale to English capitalists of a numbi1
of large breweries In Chicago While en
gaged on Ihls case Mr Phillips mot nn
Englishman named James \V Marshall In
the ofllces of his London "ollcltors. Mar
shall secured Mr Phillips' services to look
after certain property Interests he possessed
In this country In the course of their
business correspondence Mr. Mirshall re
quested his lawyer to endeavor to ascertain
the whereabouts and condition of John S
Gleberl and wife , who lefl Mnnchesler , Eng ,
In 1SSO , a few weeks after Ihey were married
In that cltj Mr Marshall furnished enough
data to enable Lawjer Phillips to ascertain
that the Gieberls came to New York city to
live , but went west nboul four jears ago
He finally succeeded In locating Mrs Glebert
In Chicago Her husband was dead nnd she
was having no easj task of 11 In supportIng -
Ing herself nnd n young daughter
An agent of Mr Marshall came to this
country after his lawjer told him of the
dlhcoverj Ho went to Chicago nnd learned
from Mrs Globcrl , who , It appears , had
once been engaged to mairy Mr Marshall ,
that her husband , Glebcrt. had confessed
on his deathbed thai he had wronged her
when ho imrrled her. Ho said ho wrote
the letter breiklng off her engagement ,
which she believed came from Marshall , ns
well as a letter he ° iit to Marshall forg
ing his sweetheart's handwriting and tell
ing him she could never marry him.
Mrs Gicbcrt was al lhat time n Miss
Marj1 Nelboii , a relative of thc famous Ad
miral Nelson. Glebcrt was nn expert pen
man , and so cleverly Imitated the hand
writing of Marshall and Miss Nelson that
they had no doubt as to thu authenticity of
the letters each received. By tills ruse
Glebert , who had been a friend of Mar-
shnll's , was enabled lo wed Miss Nelson
himself.
Marshall went lo Australia. Ho Is now
verj wealthy , and Is engaged In business
ns a promoter. Ills wife died five years
ngo , and he , too , has a young daughter.
His agent brought Mrs Glcbert to Now
York City , where she met her old sweetheart
at Lawjer Phillips' ofnce. Mr. Marshall
had Intended to leave her all his American
property Interests , but will now marry her
Instead as a result of their meeting.
*
SHE GOT THERE.
Womanly Anxiety to hen tlio I'reHlilcut's
Wife lit Close Quartern.
Women adopt all sorts of devices for get-
ling a good look al Mrs. Cleveland , says a
Washington correspondenl of Ihe Now York
Sun. On fine days the mistress of thcwhlto
house generally takes a rldo in the family
phaeton , accompanied by her babies and
the nurses. In the afternoon , between 3 and
4 o'clock , If the sun Is shining , she goes out
in tlio viclorla , accompanied by ellher her
husband or a friend. Women , joung and
old , have discovered this habll of Mrs. Cleve
land , and are beginning lo lie In wait for
her lo catch her as she comes out
on the front portico to enter . the
carriage. There is no privacy for
Inmates of the vvhlto house , and so
when Mrs. Cleveland goes riding she Is
obliged to walk through the public vestibule
and across the public portico. A day or two
ugo a bevy of cchool girls joined the waiting
group on the porllco , and when Mrs. Cleve
land came out she was obliged to run the
gauntlet , when she returned , an hour or
two later , a funny thing happened. A well-
dressed , good-looking , middle-aged woman ,
evidently a stranger In the city , was passing
the street gale when a carriage lurned Into
Iho circular drlvo of the white house grounds
The quickwitted sightseer Instantly surmised
thai Ihe occupanls were Mr- . Cleveland nnd
her babies. She baw a chance lo accom
plish her long-felt desire of getting a good
look at the president's wife , and she did not
miss It. The race was a long one and she
knew she could not win It unless some
thing happened to detain Mrs. Cleveland -
land after she arrived under the porte
cochere Lifting her clothes In both hands
she started up the circular pathway along
the drive at a breakneck speed The pnss-
ers-by and the spectators at the door ap
plauded , and , perspiring and punting , she
reached the steps Just In time , for Mrs.
Cleveland had stopped to give an order to
the coachman , and the energetic lady was
enabled to plant herself where she could
stare the president's wife In the face for
at least len seconds , and could also bee the
babies as they wore lifted from the cirrlago
by the nurses and carried Into the house. '
As Mrs. Cleveland disappeared In the ves
tibule a gentleman standing by bald , ad
miringly , to the female sprinter , "Well , you
made It "
"Yes , " she said , mopping her face , "folks
from my part of the country generally do. "
Cuticura
Remedies
Are Pure
Sweet Gentle
And Most
Economical
Because
Speedily
Effective.
Mothers and
Children
Are their
Warmest
Friends
Bold tliroiiRliont the vrnrltl. I'rlco ,
Ciillciii-i , COc.j b i > 'Mcl Ilciaolrunt , 81.
1'ottcr Druguml Clioiu , Corp , , Hole Pro-
I > rluti > r4f Itoilou. itii" " Hotr to ro
SUJu and llluuil Disease * , " mulled frco.
The
99 Cent
Store.The
The purchasing power of ready' cash is c'enrly
manifested in the magnificent showing of new goods through
out all departments of our store. Manufacturers have been
i
anxious to dispose of their goods and we have availed our
selves fully of the opportunity to buy seasonable stock at enor
mous reductions from , usual prices.
A g/aitcc bclotv will show you some of our marvelous cash
offerings.
A visit to onr store will convince you.
Jewelry Defit. Wooden
"M for now Htylu swortl pins In gilt and Willow Ware
nml silver iiOc. ,
lOo lor silver nnd gilt Imlr pins
worth 2. > e. 2)0 for IILMVV pillow wham holder * .
U'o for totvol rollers with irun
41)c ) for Hiorliiifr silver top litiir ends. r 3
pins worth $1. lOo for ciminol-lmndlc rolling pins.
Si'ie for bilk vest olmim , UMiul JOc for regular i"C ) lunch baskets.
price 7"io. li.o for heavy gilt and white 3\10
09c for \Vntci bury Aim in Clocks. pictuin frames.
\Vo have everything In bnsltelM ,
tubs , pails , stophuldors , etc. , etc. ,
at popular prices.
Silvenvai e Dep't.
Whitney Baby Buggies
a' A 1 teaspoons l"io ) a sot.
w' A 1 ttiblodjwoiibSl..lOn. het.
li'ic for tegular f > 0c napkin rinjiH. Unequalled for style , durability
.
and low prices.
Butter Dishes , Sugar Dishes , Our $1.0. ) buggy is worth fT.fiO.
PtL'kel Casters , etc. , etc. . in Our ? li.8 , * > buggy is worth f 10.00.
double and triple plate , fi 0111 99o Our $7.)0 ! ) bugiry is wotth $1 .00.
to &I.95 each. Our $ ! ) .S. > buggy is vvoith $ lf > .00.
Wo will positively wivo > ou $ , ' 1 to
$5 ou a cariiage.
Glassware Deft.
Bicycles Boys' Wagons.
3c tumblers , worth 5c. ,
5c engraved tumblers , worth lOc.
lOo for balf-gallon pitchers. 10c to $2.18 for Hoys' Wagons.
Velocipedes , 91.-18.
lOc for sugars , crotims , butters ,
' . .
Girls' Tricycles , $3.95.
etc. , worth 2 , > c.
Wo ate headquarters on medium
Thousands of articles in this line
nnd low priced Safeties. See u *
at half usual price. befoto put chasing.
The best possible values can always be found at
The 99 Cent Store ,
Farnam St. , Near r.j.th.
IS THE BIGGEST LITTLE CITY
ON THIS CONTINENT.
While it was the sixty-first in number ac
cording to population by the census of 189O , it
was only the twenty-fourth according to the
total of n oney piid to employes over 16 years
old in its manufacturing establishments.
As to the average amount of wages paid to
itsemployes per capita it is more than $2OO per
man per annum ahead of any city in the
Eastern States.
In amount of wages paid per capita to the
number of its inhabitants , it is 1OO per cent
greater than any other city in the Union.
We have got the United States census bul
letin of manufactures to prove these things by.
The expenses of living in the City of Port
land are smaller than any city on the continent.
Its Jobbing Trade for the year 1893
amounts to more than One Hundred and Thir
ty-Eight Millions of Dollars. Its manufactured
products to more than Forty Millions of Del
lars. It is now spending Two Millions of Dollars
lars improving the water power of Willamette
Falls. It is building a new water aqueduct at
a cost of Five Millions of Dollars to bring its
water supply from the glaciers of Mount Hood.
It has one hundred miles of Electric Street Car
lineti , A hotel that cost three million dollars ;
a theatre that cost two million dollars , and yet
claims only half the population of Omaha.
OUR FRUIT LAND HOMES are so near
the city of Portland that people can live on
them an follow daily vocations in the city ,
while any other land offered in that vicinity ,
by any otner concern , as "near Portland , " is
so far away that it spoils two days to go and
come between the city and the land by any
present means of travel ,
This closeness of our lands to the great city
is why we can make our positive contract to
hold your money as a savings deposit for five
years and let it bear seven per cent interest
while we are preparing your home.
Don't be induced to take hold of anything
alleged to be "just as good , " for that is always
the sign of an imitator.
Talk with any of the scores of Omaha people
ple who have already visited our lands , or go
yourself.
No sale positive till you are fully satisfied.
Call at a first-class office in a first class
business building and examine a first-class
proposition.
STEARNS FRUIT LAND CO. ,
101 Bee Building , Omaha , Neb.