Nebraska Newspapers

    10 TJTE OMAHA DAII < Y BEE : SUNJAY , FEBRUARY 7 , lb92-SIXTEEN PAGES.
BY MARK TWAIN.
\Cowriqhtcth \ 1SOS , by < / Author. ]
HIS plar'o U the vll-
I ago of iMnrlonbad ,
Holiomla. K oomsuo
very Rrcnt distance
from Anneoyln Htuito
Savole , to this place
you make It In loss
than thirty houw by
thcso continental ex
press trains but the
cbanaos In thosccncry
are ( treat ; they nro
qulto out of propor-
tlon to the distance
colored. Krom Annecy by Alx. to Geneva
you have blue lakes , with bold mountains
springing from their borders , and far
glimpses of snowy wastes lifted ngalnst lee
bonzon boj-ond , whllo all about you Is a Rur-
ilon cultivated to the last possibility of grnco
arid bonuty a cultivation which doesn't stop
with the bnndylowcr lovoli , but Is carried
right up the sheer stoops nnd propped there
with ribs of masonry , and niado to stay there
tn splto of Nowton'a law. Beyond Gonovn
beyond Liusannontnny : rate you hnvo fora
whllo a country whiub noticeably resembles
Now Knglaud , and soenu out of place and
llko an Intruder an Intruder who Is wear-
mi ? his ovary-day clothes nt a funcy-drtm
ball. Hut presently , on. your right , lingo
green mountain rampart * rise up , mid after
that for hours you are absorbed In watching
the rich shadow effects whlcn they furnish ,
and are only dully aware that Now Ungland
Is gene and that you are tlylnft past quaint
and unspeakable old towns and towers. Next
day you have the lake of Zurich , and
presently the Uhlno isswinclnp by you. How
clean It Is I How clear It Is I How blue It U1
How green It 1st How swift and rollicking
and Insolent Is Its gait and style I How vivid
and splendid its colow beautiful wreck and
chaos of all the soap bubbles In the unl-
vorsol A poraou born on tbo Hhlno must
woralilo it.
I saw tlio hlnolllilno sucou along ; I hoard , or
scomud to hour ,
Thu Gurnmn songs wo used to alas In churns
sweet mid clour.
Yes , ttmt Is where his heart would bo , that-
is whore his last thoughts would bo , the
"soldlor of tno legion" who "lay dying In
Algiers. " '
And by and by you are 111 a German region ,
which you discovov to bo qulto different
from tbo recent Swiss lands behind you.
You have a sea before you ; that is to say ,
the green land goes rolling away , in ocean
swells , to the horizon. And there 1s another
now feature. Hero and there , at v/iila
intervals , you bavo islands , IiilU 200 anil : ICO
feat high , of a ha ) stack form , that rlso
abruptly out of tbo green plain , aim are
wooded solidly on the top. On the top there
is just room fur a ruined castle , imd there It
is , every time ; above tbo summit you see the
crumbling arches and broken towora pro
jecting.
Beyond Stuttgart , next day , you find other
changes still , By and by , approaching and
leaving Nuremberg and down by Nowhaus ,
your landscape is hurnpod everywhere with
r.i
scattered knobs of rock , unsociable crnus of
a rude , tower-like look , and thatched with
grass and vines and bushes. And now and
then you have gorges , too , of a modest pattern -
torn as to size , with prcciplco walls curiously
carved ana honeycombed by I don't know
what ; but water , no doubt.
, 'Jl'bo changes are not douo yet , for the in
stant tbo country llnds it IB out of Wurtoni-
berg and Into Bavaria it discards ono moro
thickness of soli to go with previous disrob
ings , and than nothing remains over the
bones but tha shift. There may bo a poorer
soil somewhere , but It is not likely.
A couple 'of hours from Bayreuth you cross
into Bohemia , and before long you roach this
Mar ion bad and rccounlzo another sharp
change the change from the long ago to to
day ; that is to say , from the very old to the
spick and span now ; from an architecture to
tally without shapeliness or ornament to an
architecture attractively equipped with both ;
from universal dismalness as to color to uni
versal brightness and beauty of tint ; from a
town which seems made up of prisons to a.
town v.'Uichis miuleupof gracious and grace
ful mansions proper to the light of heart and
crlmolcss. It is llko jumping out of Jerusalem
into Chicago ,
Tbo more I think of these many changes ,
the moro surprising the thing poems. I have
never made so plcturetquo a journey before ,
and suruly tboro cannot bo another trip of
Ilka length In tbo world that can furnish so
much variety and of so charmlnir and Inter
esting a sort.
Tboro uro only two or three streets hero in
ttaisjmup pocKet in the Hemlock huts , but
they are handsome. VVhou you stand at the
fool of a htreot , and lookup the slant of it
you sea only block fronts of graceful pattern ,
with happily broken lines , uud tbo pleasing
accent of bay projections and balconies In or
derly disorder and burmoulous confusion and
always the color is fresh , and cheery , various
shades of cream , with softly contrasting trim
mings of whltu and now and then a touch of
dim rod. Those blocks are all thick walled ,
solid , massive , tall , for this Is Europe ; but it
is tbo brightest and newest looking town on
tbo continent , and as pretty as anybody could
require. The steep hills spring high aloft
from the voiy back doors , and are cJothod
densely to their tops with hemlocks.
In Bavaria everybody is in uniform , and
you wonder where the private citizens are ,
but hero in Bohemia the uniforms are very
race. Occasionally ono catches a glimpse of
an Austrian oftlcor , but it is only occasionally.
Uniformsure so scarce that wo seem to bo In
a republic. Almost the only striking iiguro
is the 1'ollsh Jew. Ho is very frequent. Ho
is tall and of grave contonunco , and wears a
coat that reaches to his ankle bones , and bo
u a little woo curl or two In front of each
oar. Ho has a prosperous look , and seems to
bo at much respected as anybody.
Tbo crowds that drift nloug the promenade
at mutlu time twice a day are fashionably
dressed after tbo Parisian pattern , and they
look a good deal alike , but they speak a lot ol
languages whlnbjou huvo not encountered
before , and no ignorant persona can spell
their names , and tuoy can't pronouuco thorn
themselves ,
Morienbad Mary's Bath. The Mary is
tha virgin. She Is the patroness of those
curative springs. They try to euro every
thing ; trout , rheumatism , leanness , famass ,
dyspepsia , and all the rest. The wnolo thliif
U the property of a convent , and hat bean for
GOO or 700 yean. However , tboro was never
a boom hero until a quarter of century ago
A Touch IliMtltli Drill.
If a person baa the gout , this U what they
do with him : They have htm out at DU : ! ) in
the morning , and give him an egg and It )
him look at a CUD of tea. At 0 ho roust bo at
hit particular spring , with hit tumbler hang.
Injr at hU bolt and ho will have plenty of
company there. At tbo llrst now of the or
cbestra ho must lift bis tumbler mid begin to
lip bis dreadful water with the rost. Ho
ainst sip slowly ana bo n long tlma at it
Then he must tramp about tUaJillls for an
hour or so , and < got all the exorcise and frosl
air passible. Thou bo takes his tub or wal
low * in his mud , If mud baths are his sort
By-noon bo has a tlno apnoUte , and the rules
allow him to turn himself loose now and sat
isfy It , < o long > u ho U careful una eats only
suoh things as ho dooan't want. Ho puts 11
the afternoon walking the hills and tilling up
with fresh air. At night ho is allowed to
tak throe ounces of any kind of food be
doam't like , aurt drink one ctaxs of any kliu
of liquor that ha hat a prejudice atrmlnst ; he
mfcy * Ho ( moke ono plpo if bo Isn't used to it.
At 9:30 ( burp he must bo In bed and his can
die out. Uepoat the whole thing uoxt day
I don't ice any advanUgo in this orer bav
lap the gout.
In the case of most diseases that Is abou
what QUO U required to undergo , and if yo-
oaveanv plouautbabit thai you value tuoy
want. that. They want that the first thing.
They make you dropovorythlngthatnlvos an
interest to lite. Their Idoit is to reverse your
whole system of existence and muko a ro-
trcneratlno revolution. If you nronrepub-
llcan they make you talk free trade ; If you
are a Democrat they make you talk protec
tion ; if you are a prohibitionist you have got
to go to b < ? d drunk every night until you get
welL They spare nothlnr , they spare no
body. Reform , reform , that Is their whole
song. If a person U an orator they sag him ;
if ho Hues to read they won't lot him ; if bo
wants to sing they matte him whistlo. They
say they can euro any ailment , and they do
scorn to do It ; but why should a patient como
all the way hero ) Why shouldn't ho do these
things at homo and save tbo money I No dis
ease would stay with a person who troalcd it
llko that.
1 didn't como hero to Uko baths ; I only
came to look around. Hut first one person
and then another began to throw out hints
and pretty noon I was n peed deal concerned
about myself. Ono of tboso coulees hero
said I had n gouty look about the eye ; next a
person who has cnlnrrh of the Intestines
nskod tno if I didn't notice a llttlo dim sort of
Rtomnch ucho when I snoozed. I hadn't be
fore but f did seem to notice It tbmi. A man
that's hero for heart disease said ho wouldn't
como down stairs so fast if ho had my build
and aspect. A person with nn old gold com
plexion said a man died hero in a mnd bath
last week that had a pctnllod liver coed
deal such u looking man ns I am and the
same initials. And so on and so on.
Of course then ) was uothluu to ho unoasv
about , and I wasn't what you may call really
uneasy ; butlwus not feeling very well
that Is , not brisk and I wont to bod. I suppose -
pose that that was not u gooa idea , because
hen they had mo. I started in nt the tipnor
nd of the mill and xvent through. I nm said
o bo nil right now and free from disease ,
tut thin does not surprise mo. What I hnvo
eon through in tbo-io three weeks would
reo a Man of pretty much everything In hid
and imprison , in A poem , or a ploturo , or a
song their adored Woldelnsmkclt , loneli
ness of the woods. But how cixtch III It
has not n body ; It U a spirit. Wo don't
talk about It in America , or dream of It ,
or sine about It , bocfioso wo haven't
it. Certainly there Is something won
derfully alluring about It , bnguilinp , dreamy ,
unwordly. Whcro the gloom is softest and
richest and the pence and stillness deepest ,
far up on the sldo of that hemlock mountain ,
a spot where Uootha usud to sit nnd dream ,
Is marked by n granlto obelisk , nnd on Its
sldo Is catvod this famous poem , which is the
master's Idea of Waldclnsmkolt ;
Uobor nllrn Clpfoln-Ut Ittili ,
In alien \Vlpfclti Rimrustdu
KRUMI ulnon Hundi ;
Die Voftloln In schwolKon I in NValde
\Vurto nur-lmldo
Itnlieitdu ( inch.
It Is raining again , now. However it was
doing that boforo. I have been over to
the Kstabllshmont nnd had A tub bath with
two kinks of plno Julco In It. Ihoso fill the
room with a punirontnnd most pleasant perfume -
fume ; they nlso turn the water to the color
of ink and cover it with snowy suds , two or
three Inches deep. The bath Is cool about
75s or 80 ° IT. , and there h a cooler shower
bath after it. Whllo waiting in the rorop-
llon room all by myself two mon came In and
boiran to talk. Politics , literature , religion 1
No their nllmonts. There Is nd other sub
ject hero , nppnrentlyi Whorevortwo or three
of those people nro gathered together , there
you have It. every tnno. The first that can
got his mouth open contributes his dis
ease nnd the condition of It nnd tbo
others follow with theirs. The two men
Just referred to were acquaint
ances , nnd they followed the custom. Ono
of them was built llko a gasometer nnd Is
hero to rcduco his girth ; the other \\ns built
llko n , derrick , and U bore to fat up , as thov
express It , at this rosoit. They were well
satlslled with the progress they were making.
Tha gnsomntcr had lost a quarter of n ton In
ten davs and showed the record with prlda
on his belt , and ho walked briskly across the
room , .smiling in a vast ana luminous wav ,
like a Imrvojt moon , nnd snld ho couldn't
have done that when l > o arrived Imre. Ho
buttoned his coat around bU equator cud
showed how loose It was. It was pretty to
sco his happiness. It was so childlike nnd
lionust. Ho sot his foot together and loaned
ever his person and proved that ho could see
them. Ho said ho hadn't aeon them from
that point before for fifteen years. Ho had
a hand llko n , boxing clove , and o.i ono of his
Angers ho had just found a diamond ring
which ho hud inUsod eleven years ago.
The mlnuto the derrick got n chance bo
I.IA.NXESS , FATSCS1
bat wasn't nulled thoru-mir loose thing ,
cny unattached frapmant of bone , or moat , or
morals , or dlsdaso , or croponsltlos , or ao-
crimplishmunts , or what not. And I don't
say but that I fool well enough : I feel hot
ter than I wnulu If I was dead , I reokon.
And besides , they say that I am gointr to
julld up now and como rlcbt along and bo
nil right. I am not saying aiiythlup , but I
wish I had enough at my disease back to
ualco mo aware of mvsolr , and onougn of my
tiablts to malto It worth whTle to llvo. To
imve nothing the matter with- you and no
liablts Is pretty tnmo , pretty colorless. It Is
lust the war u saint feels. I reckon ; It U at
least tue way ho looks. , I never could stand
a saint. That reminds mo that you see vary
few priests around hero , and yet , ns 1 have
already suid , this whole hig cntorpnso is
owned nnd manured by a convent. Tbo few
priests ono dooa sea here are 'dnmcd Ilkn
liuumn boings. and SQ there may bo more of
them than t'imagine. . Fifteen priests
dressed llko those con In not nttraut as much
of your attontloo asyould one priest at Aix-
los-Balns. Yea cannot pull your eye loose
from the Frnnch priest so long as bo is in
sight , his dross is so fascinatingly ugly.
A Slngnlar Cllmiilc.
X seem to bo wandering from the subject ,
but 1 nm not. Tbia U about the colilon pluco
I ever saw and the wettest too. This August
seems like an English November to mo.
Rain ) Wby , It seems to like to rain hero. It
seems to rain every time there Is a chance.
You are strictly required to be alnncr and ex-
crcisinz whenever the sun Is shining , so I
haw to sco the run sblno because I bate air
and exercise duty atr and duty oxcrcisn
taken for medicine. It seems ungonutno , out
of season , degraded to sordid utilities , a sub
tle spiritual something cone from it which
ono can't describe in words , but don't vou
undor&tandi witU thatsomothlnic gene what
is loft Is but canned air , canned exorcise , and
you don't want it.
\Vben tbo snn daes sblno for a few mo
ments or a few hours these people swarm out
and /lock / through the streets and ever the
hlllx and through the plr.o woods nnd tnako
the most of the chance , anil have Hocked
out , too , on some of these occasions , but as a
rule I stay In and try to got warm.
And what Is there for moans , beside * heavy
clothing and rugs , nnd tbo polished wblto
tomb that stands lofty and bourtlois In the
coner and thinks it is a steve ) Of all the
creations of human luennity this thlncr Is the
most forbidding. Whether It is heating the
room or isn't , the expression is the same
cold Indifference You can't tell which It Is
doing without gome and putting1 your bund
on It. Tbey burn little Imnnfuls of JUnallnga
In it. no substantial wood , and no coal.
Th Uro bums out every fifteen minutes ,
and tlioro U no way to tell when this has
happened. On tfiosa dismal days with tbo
ram steadily falling , It is no better company
than a corpse. A roaring hickory lira witn
the ilnmoj leaping up the chimney but I
must not think of such things , they makoa
person homesick. This is a moststrango
place to get rid of disease.
That is what you think most of the timo.
But in the Interval ? , when the sun shines
and you are tramping the hills and are com
paratively warmyou get. to bo neutralmaybe
oven friendly. I went up to tbo
Ajsilchtttiurm the other day. This In a
tower which stands on the summit bf a iteop
hemlock mountain here ; a tower which there
isn't the least use Tor , because the view Is as
good at the base uf it us it is at the top of it.
DuC Germanic peoples ere Just mad for
views they never get enough of a view If
they owned MonntBlano , they would bullda
tower on top of 1U
The roads no that mountain through that
hnmlock forest uro hard packed und smooth ,
and tbo erodes pro easy and comfortable.
Tbey are for walkers , not for carriages. You
move through deep bllenco and twilight , and
jou scorn to be in a million-columned temple ;
whether you look-up the hill or down It you
catch glimpses of distant figures Hitting
without sound , appearing and disap
pearing in the aim distances among
the stems of the trees , ana ( t is all
very spectral and solemn and 1m-
prejilve. Now nnd then the gloom is ac
cepted and sized upto your comprehension In
a striking way ; a my of sunsblno lliids Its
way down through and suddenly calls your
attention , for whore it falls , far up the hill-
lope in the brown duskiness , it lays a stripe
that has & glare like lightning. The utter
itillneis of the forest depths , the aoundleta
hush , the total absence of stir or motion of
any kind in loaf or brunch , are things whlcn
we hare no experience of at homo , and con
sequently no name for In our language. At
homo tbnre would be the plaint of insects
and tbo twittering of bird * , and the vagrant
breetos would quiver tha foliage. Here It i *
th silllneis of death. This li what the Ger
mans are forever talking about , dreaming
about , and despairingly trying to oatoU
AXD ALL , TUB REST.
broke in nnd began to toll how ho woi"p\llng \
on blubber right along three-quarters of nn
ounce every four davs ; and b"o was still pip
ing away when 1 was sent' for. I
left the fat man swelling and collapsing llko
a balloon , his next socecb all roaily , you ace ,
and urgent for delivery.
The parlonts am always at 'thatsort of
thing , trying to talk each" other todoith.
Tbo fat ones und the loan ones are nearly the
worst nt it , but not-quito ; the dvsneptics nro
the worst. They are nt it day and niihtand
all along. Tney have more'symptoms than
all the others put togotliorruul so there is '
moro vnnety of experience , more chance of j
condition , more ndvcnturo , add consequently J
more play for the imagination , morn scope
for lying , and in every way a bigger field for
talk. Go whore you will , hide whore you
may , you cannot escano ttiat'wonl liver ! you
overhear U constantly in1 thd'itrcet. In the i
shop , In the theater , in the music grounds.
Wherever you see two or a dozdn "people of
ordinary bulk talking together , tyou Jcnow
"
they nro talking about their" livers. When
you first arrive hero , your new ucquatntancoi
seem sad and bard to talk to , but prettv soon
you got the lay or the luili and. tm' ( hang of
things , and after that you haven't ' any more
trouble. You look , into th'o dreary , dull eve ,
and softly say :
"Well , How's Your Liver ? "
You will see that dim eye flash up with a
gratotut flame , and you will see that jaw be
gin to worn , and you wilt rccognlzo that
nothing Is required of you from this out but
scrofuloui , buTu now kind. That WAS as
much ns thor foU , nbto to inv. Then thoj
made stothcscoNq examination nnd decided
thatlfnnythlnft-1 would dlslodgo It , n mud
bath was the tnlnft. It was a very Ingenious
Moo. I took the tnuil bath , nnd It did dis
lodge it. Horoltis :
OVIJ.OTB sr > Ni ,
I nsknot , "IstliyJieixrt still sttro ,
Thv love RtUIVSriit. thr fultli nooiiro ? "
I ask not , "Droam'st then still of me ?
I.onz'sl nlwa > to Ily to mo ? "
Ah , no but a * ilie Mill inclmlctn all
The Rooil ( JlfM-of tlio Olvor ,
1 sum all these In asking thcp.
"O awcotho.irt , hoW's your llvor ? "
I'or If thy llvor orkoth rlftlit. , ,
Tliy fnlili stnnitfttinro , thy hope 11 bright ,
Thiilr drcnnm iiro. voot iinrt 1 their apil.
DnubtthroalsTnViklii thotl scorn'sthls roa.
Keen only tby Hicostlon flour.
No other foe my love doth four.
Hut Indigestion Imth the honor
To innr the lonl soronoit hour
To crumble mlamanllno trunt
And turn Its cerUilntlei to dust.
To dim tno eye with numclcss snot ,
To chill the hoiirt vrlth nnbollnf.
To banish IKIIM ) . nnd f.nltli. nnd love ,
1'lnce hoiivoii below und luillnhovo.
Then Hat dot-ills arc nauxht to mo
So tlinu'st the 8inn-ilft of the Ulvor
I n < k thro all In nsktim thoo.
"O darling , liow' yonrllvur ? "
Yes , it is easy to say It Is scrofulous , but I
don't see tbo signs of it. In my opinion it 11
ns good cootrv at I Have eVer written , im
ports sny it Isn't poetry nt nil , bocnnso It
lack > tlio clement of ( lotion , but that Is the
volro of envy I reckon. 1 cull It good med
ical Dootry , and I consider that I nm n Judge.
Strung ! ) Stroct .Aluiinrrfi ,
Ono of tbo moit cunotts things in these
countries Is the street inunnors of the men
ami women. In incotlnir you they como
atrnlpht on wltlioutsworvltiRti Hair's brc , ith
from the direct line nnd wholly ignoring your
right to any part of the ro.id. At the last
moment you must yield tip your share of it
nnd stop nsldo , oV Ihoro will bo a collision. 1
notlcrd this str.itjgo baroailsm llrst In Geneva
twelve " yours ngo.
In Alx-les-Uulns , iwlisro sldnwnlks nro
scnrco nnd os-orybody walk * in the streets ,
I there Is plenty of room , but that U no mut
ter ; yon nro nlwnv.s escaping collisions by
mere quarter inches. A man or woman who
Is lio.ideci In such n w.iy oa to cross your
course iirusonllv without n collision will nc-
tually niter hU dli-octloit slmHo by stmrto and
compel a collision union nt tlio last. Instant
you jnmiioutof the way. Thee folks are
not drusseU ns ladles und , cent lumen. And
thov do not seem to tie consciously crowding
you out of the road ; they seem to bo Inno
contlyand stupidly unaware that thuy arc
doing It. Hut nofbo in Ucnova. There this
class , cspovlnlly the men , crowd out men ,
women nml girls of ell ranks and raiment
consciouslv and Intentionally ciowd thorn
off the sldounlk nnd into the sutler.
There was nothing of this kind in Bay-
reuth. Hut. hero ivell hero the thine Is
astonishing. CollUlons nro unavoldablo , un
less you do rtll tno yielding yoursulf.
Another odd thlng doro thU s.ivagory U
conllned to the folk \vho wc.ir the line
clothes , the others uro courteous imd consid-
crato. A ulg burly Cnuuncho with nil the
signs nbout hint ofvcallu , nnd oduiMtlou ,
will tranquilly force ynuugl.idiOH to step off
Into the gutter to avoid being run uown bv
him. HUn inlsUko tbnt there U no bath
that will euro people's tntiinor * . Hut drown
ing would help.
However , nci'Iif , } ) } ono can't loolc 'or nny
icnlly showy umount of delicacy of fcoling
in a country \vh'6tfi'a , person i ) brought up to
contemplate wUJibut a rthudder thj spoctade
'o'vomon tmniQsseilaip with dogs nnd haul-
ingcarts. Tiio-iwtanaii is on onosiilo of thu
Dole , the dog oil-lhe ether , und they bend to
the work and tujs and pant and stniin and
the mnn tramps' leisurely alongside nnd
smokes nis pipL-'Often the wom.in is old
andgiayand Wifttunn is her grandson. The
Austrian imtiwal ornithological device
ought to be repl.icqd by n grandmother har
nessed to a slusls curt with n dog. ThU
moruly in thA iwtero t of fnut. Hor.ildlo
"
fancy "lias been a liulo too much overworked
In thcso counties , any way.
sncn
Lately ono o'f tl ese curious things "hnp-
pened near hci'o w liuh JiHtlfy the felictltlous
oxtravncnnces'of ' t lo stage und help us to at- :
ccpt them. A i [ .pnndcnt mnn , oanlcrupt ,
friendless nndjdc nornto , dropped a dose of
strvblmia into a b < ttle of whUky and wont
-Out Itl the dusli ( o ftpd ti hanuy placo'for his
purposeAvhicb Was suicide. In u lonely spot
be wns stopped by a tmmo , who said he
would kill him if no.dld > i'tgivo up his money.
Instead of jumping -at the uhanco of getting
hlin. elf killed und thus saving himself tbo
Impropriety and uuuovanco of suicide , he
forgot all noont his late urofect-and attacked
the tramp in n mo ° tiiturdy audvaliant , fuah-
lon. He made a good fight , but. failed to win.
The night passed , the morning came , and ho
woke out of unconsciousness to Una that be
had boon clubbed naif to death and left to
| perish nt his leisure. Then ha reached for
J his bottle to add the finishing touch , but It
j was gone. Ho pulled himself together and
I wont llmplnj ; away , and presently came
upon ibo trump stretched out Mono dead
; with the empty bottle beside him. Ho had
i drunk the whisky nnd committed sul-
1 cido innocently ? Now. whllo the man
I who Ind been Oboalcd out of bis hul-
I cido stood there bemoaning uli harJ luck and
wondering how ha micutr mauago to ralsn
money enough lo bur some moro whisky
I and Doinon , some people of the neighborhood
came bv and ho told them about his curious
.idventuie. They ( .aid that UiU lrar.it ) had
been the sourgo of the noicliborhooj anil tbo
dread of the constabulary. The inquest
passed off quietly and to everybody's satis
faction , and. then the people , to testify tnoir
gratitude lo tbo hero of the occasion , put him
on tbo police , on a good enough salary , nnd
ho Is all right how , nnd is not meditating
suicide anv n.oro. Hero are all the elements
BTItVXOK BtnBKT MAXXKIl * .
to listen as long as you remain conscious-
After a few days you wlllbeglu to notIce that
out of thcso people's talk a gospel U framing
itself , and next you will IInd yourself bollov-
'
ing lu It'is this that a man'li jiot what his
rearing , bis schooling , bU bollols. his princi
ples miika him. ho Is what his llvor makes
him ; that with a healthy liver he will have
the clear seeing eye , tbo honest huart.'the
sincere mind , the loving spirit , the loyal soul ,
end truth and trust ana faith that are based
as Olbralter Is based , and that with an un
healthy llvor bo must and will have the oppo
site of all tuoso ; bo will see nothing as It
really Is , be cannot trust unybcdy or believe
in anything , bis moral foundations nro gene
from under him. Now , Uu't that interesting !
I think 4t Is.
Two dvra ngo , perceiving , that there was
something unusual the matter with mp , I
weut around from doctor to doctor , out with
out avail ; they sala they hud never seen this
kind of symptoms before at least , not all of
them. Taby bad toea some of them , but dif
ferently arr&uirod. U was a new disease , as
far u they could ice. AiH ) reutly , It was
lf.
lf.J331
of the nnivo'st ArAblaq tale ; a man who
resists robbery Ivhea bo hasn't anything to
bo robbed of ; does uls Very best to Bavo bis
life when ho has come out purposely to throw
it away ; and Dually U victorious in defeat ,
killing his adversary In an effectual ana
pootio fashion after a ! road v hors du combat
himself. And now , if .TOU let him rlso la the
service and xnurry the chief of pollen's
daughter , It has the requisite elements of the
occidental romancelaoklng not a detail as
fur as I can soo.
MA u ic
Cook's Kitra pry Imperial Champagne Ii
naturally fermented ; there Is nothing lu it
out the Julco of grapes. Try it.
SomerTllIe Journal : The oceau Is Tory
blue , but It Isn't half ao much so nil tlio ord
inary touriat on the urar to Europe when the
deup sea ivtell liugloj to set In It * work.
Dr. CulHiuoro , ooulitt to Mo. Pac. Ry.
Tim t.oo.itixa Kins.
Frcddlo Srrku Information.
A llttlo boy traveling on the Allo-
pho'nv Vnlloy nxllroad on tlio way to
Bpotid Tlmnksfjlvlng nt his Undo John's ,
jnjoyod the ride very much. At lonst
1 judge so from the way ho noted nnd
, ho questions ho nskod. A portion of
, ho conrorsatton bo two on him nnd his
nether \vns something llko this :
"Say , ma , ain't cars good ? "
"Yos , Freddy , " replied ma , who was
so busy reading n novel that she did not
notice tlio singular character of the
question ,
"It's nicer thim rldln' In n wagon ,
ain't It ? "
"Much nicer. "
There was slloneo for twenty-throe
oooiids and then Freddy remarked :
"O , loolc at that funny mnn by the
store. Ho hnsn't got any nose ! "
The unCortutmto individual referred to
tad lost a portion of his nasal nnpondago
) y aomo accident.
HusliI Froddyl IIo'll hear yonl"
"Why. don't ho know Ifr" asked
Freddy In surprise. " 'Shi ydti mustn't
talk that way. "
"Didn't God have any noses loft when
10 made him ? "
" 'Shi 1 expect ho mot with nn nccl-
lout , " said mamma , "But you mustn't
tnlk about It. "
"Do you s'poso It was bit off by a dog ? "
"Perhaps. Now bo still. "
"Adoglikoour Fldo ? "
"Quito likely. Now bo still or talk
ibout something olsoV"
"Did the dog swallow ItV
"Freddy , don't lot mo have to speak
to you again. "
Freddy was silent for a minute nnd a
mlf by actual measurement , when the
train stopned.
"What are wo stopping for , ma ? "
Mn was Interested in her novel and
did not hear. Freddy repeated the
question In it louder tone.
"What are wo stoppimr for ? "
"For xvatar , perhaps. "
"Butthere'svater In the cooler. "
" .It's for tbo engine. "
' Does tbo engine got thirty and
drink , \vato ! ? "
' Yes/ '
"How ? "
"O , 1 don't know. Ask Uncle John
vlietMvp got thero. Don't bather mo
my more. ' '
Mnnmm , became again absorbed Inlet
lotbooU. . and Freddy gave bis atton-
.ion to the lady in tbo seat before him.
lie Imd gi\vn her hair a few pulls when
she turned and objected.
"Madam , I'll thank you to keep that
ild'tPhaiuls off my ho > id. "
"Hog ptmldn. I'm sure ! " rcnlied
Freddy's mamma , as she jerked her olT-
spring' back Into his toat. , "Freddy
what Uo you mean ? "
"Only wanted to boo if her hair comes
olT like , yours1 whimpered Freddy.
iTlio passengers grinned , and Freddy's
mnmma turned pale as she mentally
charged an ardent spunking up to Ficd-
dy'H account. Presently the llttlo Irro-
iircssiblu biioku again :
"Mamma ! "
No answer ,
"Ma'mma ! "
"Well. "
"llow boon'll wo get to Uncle John's ? "
% 'Oh , pretty soou. "
"How coon ? "
'About an hour. "
"Uo you suppose Aunt Suoll have
chicken for dinner ? "
"I don't know , Freddy. Now I want
you to keep still or I'll have the conduct
or put vou in the baggage c.ir. "
"Whore's that ? "
"fn the front end of the train. "
"Whore they put the trunks ? "
* Yes. "
"What do they put trunks In tbo bag-
tin go ear for ? "
"O , CUllbOl' '
" 'Cause why ? "
' " 'Cause- there isn't room for them in
this ear. "
"Is your trunk in the baggage car ? "
' 'Yes. "
"Is that iria'n' * ) trunk what's got no
nose in the bnggngo ear ? "
" Evcddy , will you shut up ? "
.lust , then the retail vendor of peanuts
made his semi-occasional raid on the
defenseless pass-tjupers , and Freddy
screamed :
"Main'milT want some peanuts. "
'iYou "can't havo. any. You've been
bad , * '
"I want some peanuts ! "
"Well , II1 get some for you will you
bo good ? "
Yep ! J"Want some peanuts. "
The peanuts were transferred to Fred
dy'slap and during the process of their
installation in his interior u'ePJrtn'ont : '
there was comparatively quiet in
Freddy's scat. ' Then his attention was
attr.uneil by the entrance of the brakeman -
man , who proceeded to recite a short
speech In'"omo dead language. *
"What did ho siy : , ma ? "
"Ho' announced the name of the sta
tion '
, ' "What was it ? "
"I'm sure I don't Know. "
"Who was it ? Does ho own the
train ? "
"It was the brakoman. "
'What does bo break ? "
"Tho train. " ' .
' Then who mends it ? "
"Oi donr , ho doesn't break it ; ho only
btops.it. "
"But you wiid ho broke it. "
"Tnev call it breaking. "
"Whiit do they civil it breaking for ? "
"O , dear , you are enough to drive a
porfcoii wild. 1 think I'll leave you nt
Uncle John's when I como back. "
Freddy looked at his mother with a
pained expression. Ho could not under
stand why his thirst for Information
should , be so summarily quenched. Ho
had not decided this point to his satis
faction whor. the train stopped at Uncle
John's btation , nnd Freddy nnd his
mama alighted.
No IiKliU'uniimt.
Washington Star : She was ono of the
precocious little puoplo who are con
tinually ombarasoing their elders.
"I mil glad to see you go to church
oaeh Sunday , " said the pastor one Sun
day , ' 'can vou rcmombo. * the text ? "
"Yes , sir. "
"Wh'it was mine today ? "
"Oh , " she replied with confidence , "I
said I can remember them. I never try
lo. "
Baby's cheek is like a poach ,
In it Madame Hupport'a bleach ?
No ! but baby's mama's cheelc '
Volumes , to Its praise doth apeak !
Call for Mme , lluppert' * hook , "How lo be lleaull.
ful" iK Mrs , J , lluiuon. 210 P. Utu UU. Omnlm , No
A fiK.VUINK MIL-llOIIIIKII.LKUIl KIlHVrt ( JKUSt
jltAIIUATOIl"l urcjnlt clotua.ui Ijeciuio ItkllU
tliu uiicrolnorgtrni. 1'ut up ami retailed Inf. , lluuj
IJizus , the latter IMiinllnni. Hout imrwliero pro-
pnld on receipt of prlco at C. O. I ) . WuUuiu n uunr-
nnloo to euro. Tlio public trade nntl Jubberi > 'ip-
ullB'l br HID Klniler Druit Company , Oamhn ; ( X A.
Jtelrliur , lion aril Mejer and K. I' . Bjfkora , Koutli
Omaha ! A. I Koilerand H.J. _ Bllli. Council Ilium
CONSUMPTION.
1 liAie a poailifo rcmodjr ( or tbt ahuie liUiuuui ; by 1U
u llion nd ofct > 9 of the wont kind and of lone
tUuJinK bate been curixl. Indeed K > itronn U luy faltU
'lo lit elliucr , tUU I rlllflimjTWGlOTTLK8 > Tll Iwim
VAI.UAHI.K TIlKA'n.SK on tint dineisa to tar of
ferer who nlll itml moltioir Kipru iand I * . O , addrnii ,
T. A. eiocuinaiC. , IS3 1'tmr Ht. . N. V.
FOR MEN ONLY !
or LOSTprFAIUHO MAHHOOD
IWeakaeu of Bod/ and Mind , Effect *
Jof EmnorEiccuu ID Older Younr.
l.ul , kl JUXIIIHIU full ! IU > l r > 4. ! ! U * liri .4
.
ibtol.olr .r.li ( . UUIKTKIUTBElT-D ] > MlUUi > r ,
Bra IxllrInm td DlaUi > 4 r li I H rin. HriU | ! .M > .
lintitf UK Bwt , c > plu > U a U4 profi H4ll > 4M ( > b < ) In ,
A4lmi ERIE MEDICAL CO. , BUFFALO. * ! , V ,
COMING INTO A KINGDOM I
I nm oirnrr of llx | v > Mr Itahtt ,
I lfawr&il > Nini rjMMipmif | < n itfmi/r / ;
WISCONSIN M. . > rW.tnoi ; < i ifn lW Him/ / * ,
, , Miiititrr\Untlit\ct \ < icwtl < i-irr ,
Myintfcnvtrt , tngtnn nnd r fto of tttl ( ,
' ' *
The Great and Growing METROPOLIS at the'HEAD'OF im SUPERIOR ,
For Investments in Real Estate.
For Manufacturing. For Loaning Money , For Merchandising.
FOR EVERYTHING The Best Place in America ,
Superior Real Estate will advance 500 per cent in the next 10 years.
LAND & RIVER IMPROVEMENT CO ;
ra = = W6st Superior , Wisconsin ,
The UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS
that the
Behr Bros. & Go's.
PIANOS
HIM e attained , and llio hK'li prnlso they luiro elicited from the worltl' % MOST RK
NOWNEU ARTISTS , from tlic press anil from a publir long prcjmllrcil In furor o (
lilor ninkos , it Is UiCo to assume Unit the Instrument must be possess 1 of UNCOM
MOX ATTltlHUrKK.
ATTltlHUrKK.MAX MEYER & BRO. CO. ,
Sole Agents , Omaha , Nebraska ,
Establ'-hed rS66 ,
1316 Douglas Street , Omaha , Neb.
The rnilncnt xp iUUst In nerTuno * chronic , prtvnfo. blon ! , kln iui < I urinnry ilheriM * * * . A ro/ulnr nnd
ro l"U riMl urntlunto In miMlclm * ' n illnitmin * nnd rprtlllctuo' show. N Hint troutlntr with tint ffruitCH BUCCCM
rntnrrht pi'rinutorrhoeu , I nit tiwnhoo l , scintnulWnknon. . nlulit I ( ) < " * , Impotvticy , aytilillt * . stricture , con *
orrhooii , uloot , vnrlt'tuHc.ctC .No nu nnry ttoil. Now tro'itnuMit fnrhit of vltnl power. Parties iinnhlo to
vlili mo may bo tr jnto 1 lu liomo by ourn potidonco. Alotlittno or InMriiincnlt f > ont l > x in all oroxinvss o
. nmrk I ml lento ontuntH or t'ndor. Ono otml .
cutely n ickccl. no * to t per interview proforrod. Conitillatfon
free , t orrcKp'Hulciu'D strictly prtvato. Unu'-c ( Matorlus of I.lfu ) sent fruo. Olllco hours'Jii , in. toUt \ , m.
nanj-n Uiv. nirto 12m Suiul atnmp lor reply.
WOOD'S. ' ICE TOOLS
RUN IRON , ROPE & BLOCK'S
Send for catalogue.
Jas. Morton Son & Go Dodjre IS 11 Street.
THE !
1011
OF OMAHA.
ABSOLUTELY INCANDESCENT
FIRE PROOF , ELECTRIC LIGHTS
PERFECT
NOT A DARK
VENTILATION
OFFICE
IN THE BUILDING
NIGHT AND DAY
ELEVATOR
68 VAULTS , SERVICE ,
DIRECTORY OF OCCUPANTS :
GROUND FLOOR :
NAUGLK COMPANY. Telegraph Pules , OITY THEASIIHER.
CrofisTloH , Lumber , uto. OMAHA HEAL ESTATE AN.D. TIlUST CO.
MUIU & OAYLOltf ) , Itcal Estate. J. D ANTKS. Itotundii Olgar Stand.
urry WOMEN'S EXCHANGE.
FIRST FLOOR :
mi : OMAHA nnn COIJNTINO IIOOM , Ad KKANO L. IlEBVia ft CO. , Contractors.
vortlslng and Subscription Department. * . WESTERN UNION TEHIIOKAIMI Ol-'I-'lOE
AMKUIOAN WATER WORKS COMPANY. CENTRAL LOAN AND TRUST CO.
SUPERINTENDENT UEC I1UILBINO.
SECOND FLOOR.
TUB PATRICK LAND COMPANY , Owners THE EQUITABLE LIKE ASSURANOE S C
of Dundee I'luue. OIETY Ol- ' NEW YORK.
DR. CHARLES ROSE.WATER. CHRISTIAN SCIENCE ASSOCIATION.
i'ROVIDENT SAVINGS LII'T ' , of Now York ANGl'D-AMERICAN MORTGAGE & TRUST
MASHAOIIUSHTTS MUTUAL Lll'l ! INSUR- COMPANY.
ANOE COMPANY. 11EE HUREAU OK CLAIMS.
OMAHA TIRE INSURANCE INSPECTION DR. Ii. 11. JIIRNEY , Nose and Tluo'it.
liUREAU , O. IIARTMAN , Inspector. GRANT CULLIMORi : , Oculist and Aurlst.
THIRD FLOOR.
JOHN GRANT , ContractorforStroutamiSldo- MANHATTAN LU'n INSURANCE COM-
wcillf Pi\umuntH. " " PA NY.
ROIIERT W. PATRICK. Law Offices. M. R. TRAUERMAN. Attorney.
EQUITY COUHT NO. 1. - WiAVKW
KtJlIITY COIJRl' NO. i lia-l INSURANCE CO ,
LAW COURT ND. 4. of Mmv Yorl ( .
.1. M. ( JIIAMIIEItS , Abstracts. E. W , SIMEUAL.
W.M. SIMIMCAL. H. R. PA'ITCN. Dontl t.
FOURTH
NonruwESTnuv ! MUTUAL LIKE INSUR p. M.ELLIH ,
ANUKCOMPANY UEOKUi : W. SUES & COMPANY , Holloltors of
1'a tents.
CONNECTICUT MUTUAL LIFE INSUR H.A.WAONERAsrontforUnltedSUtoiMutuul
ANCE COMPANY. Auuldunt Inuiirnnou Conip.iny.
I'ENN MUTUAL Ml'Ii INSURANCE COM-
1'ANV. JOHN LETHEM. Publisher.
UAHTrORD LIFE AND ANNUITY INSUR OMAHA COAL EXCHANGE.
ANCE COMPANY. P. F. EKENUERG , fresco Pnlntor.
MEAD INVESTMENT COMl'ANV. ALEX MOORE. Itiul KJtatj ami LOIIH.
WRIISTEK & HOWAIU ) , Inaiirunce. II01IN SASH AND DOOR Cl ) .
EDISON OENKHAL KLKOi'UIC COMPANY THE MERCHANTS RETAIL COMMERCIAL
WE8TKICN OAK HnitVIOi : AHSOOIATION. AGENCY.
ANDREW RO8EWATBU , Olvll Knglnoor. dTAPUC'l'ON LAND CO.
. L. ULAOK , Olvll Engineer ,
FIFTH FLOOR.
HEAD QUARTERS. II. S. ARMY. DEPART CHIEF PAYMASTER.
MENT OK THE PLATTE'ai OIIlcoj. PAYMASTER.
DEPARTMENT COMMANDER. ASSIbTANT QUARTERMASTER.
GENERAL.
ADJUTANT
. INSPECTOR SMALL ARMS PRAOTIOli
INSPECTOR GENERAL.
JUDGE ADVOCATE. CHIEF OF ORDNANCE.
CHIEF QUARTERMASTER. ENGINEER OFFIOEIt.
CHIEF COMMIbSARY OF BU11SISTENOE AIDESDE-OAMP.
MEDICAL DIRECTOR. ASSISTANT SURGEON.
SI X.TH FLOOR.
11AHTMAN fc COLLINS. Cast Iron Gas uud UNITED STATES LOAN tt INVESTMENT
Water Pipe. COMPANY.
C. LAMIIERT SMITH , THE IMPLEMENT DEALER.
U C. .NAill. Lu'ins.
0. F. HEINDURFF , Arohltoot. HAMILTON LOAN AND TRUST CO.
REED PRINTING CO. EDITORIAL ROOMS OF THE IIEK , C'ompgs-
U. S. ARMY PRINTING OFFI025. liifr , Hori0tyliiz ( [ and Mailing rauwn.
MANUFACTURERS AND CONSUMERS AS M. A.lh'TON (30. . lto.il L'atutu.
SOCIATION. I1 : A , DAWr.S.
SEVENTH FLOOR. \
LINCOLN CLUU.
ENGINEERS. UAUIIUU BIIUl * .
A few more elegant office rooms may be had by applying *
ot R. W. Baker , Superintendent , office on counting room floor