10 THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY DECEMJ3EK 27 , 1801-SIXTEEN PAGES.
GRAND ARMY DEPARTMENT ;
Elections and Other News Tro n Nebraska
and Iowa Poata.
CHINNING OUT-THE 10.DERS' ' HOMES ,
Bkotcliofn OIIC > IJPKKOI | H ! < > of tin-
Wai U'UITISII'H Mitiiiiinciit nt Ool-
An Incident < > ' ' tlio
WH lei-ness.
Ilepnrtinont News.
Various posts report the following ofllcoH
elected for the ensuing year :
A. h. Gates Post of Lyons : Hlloy S ,
Hart , commander ; A , L. Wolfe , souior vice
commander ; B. S. Ilusco , junior vice com
mander , Lewis Piper , ctriplolu ; William
Thompson , ollicer of the day ; IC ra Piper ,
ollicor of the guard ; M. H. Wlttso , surgeon ;
T. 11. Calnoii , quartermaster.
Dnhlgicn Post of Pnpilllon : .1. Q. ( .joss ,
commander , J. M. Slphcrd. S. V. C. ; J. r.
Hlldobrand , J. V. C. ; H. L. Holbrook , sur
geon ; Thomas A. Kecd , chaplain ; Charles
Nowncs. O. D. ; Chatles liecker , O. G. ;
William A. Hull , Q. M. J. 1' . ( liovo was ap
pointed to represent the post of iho depart
ment encampment at Columbus.
Kendall post ofKtnnton : L. J. Horton ,
commander ; C. Wolvcrton , vice commander ;
J. M. Mitchell , junior vice commander ; J. H.
Forsyth , sergeant ; 11. U. Antics , chaplain ;
August Tbcido , onicer uf the day ; C. Trent ,
outside guard ; U. M. Iluyx , delegate toslato
encampment , and II. KIceMier nlturnato.
James A. ( iurfleld post of Red Cloud : H.
II. Simons , commander ; .1. M. Murray.sonior
vice commander ; M. Lester , junior vice com-
rnandor ; H. K Pond , quartermaster ; .1. W.
Morativille , surgeon ; U. J. Judson , chaplain ;
S. U. Kl/.or , ollicor of the day ; John Streit ,
outer gu.ird ; K. J. Uiindull , delegate to de
partment uniMinmneiit ; C. Schenck.alternate.
The following were thu delegates to the Inter
state encampment nt Dcutrico : McCall ,
Moronvillo and Vnnderborg ; alternatesDay ,
Lester and Munsell.
Old Aho post of Superior : W. W. Honper ,
command ) r ; S. M. VunOver.sonlor vice com
mander ; /Immorman , junior vice coin-
madder ; 10. K. Prindlc , quartermaster ; II. I'1.
Holtmad , onicer of the day ; W. Phillips.out-
sldo guard ; G. C. Unrr. cuplnm : representa
tive to grand oucamumotit , S , Zimmerman ;
trustee , W. J A bruins.
John A. Logan post of Clay Center : J. M.
Jones , commander ; U. J. Wilson , senior vice
commander ; Jacob Haircr , junior vice com
mander ; W. A. McLean , chaplain ; N. M.
Graham , surgeon ; William Scollp , quarter
master ; W. L , Palmer , O. 1) . ; Hll Uoldlng ,
O. G. ; delegate to the state encampment ;
\VilllnrnSeellg ; alternate , W. L , Palmer.
Gould Post of Republican Citv ; Thomas
Duncan , commander : J. P. Decker ; senior
vice commander ; W. il. Morrison , junior
vice commander ; J. U. Forbes , adjutant ;
W. C. Whitney , quartermaster ; Ellas Frear ,
chaplain ; J. K. P. Hayes , surgeon.
Ueno Post of Lexington : II. A. Turlon ,
commander ; O. II. Wilder , senior vice com
mander ; S. 1) ) . Ivcnaaton , junior vice com
mander ; Dr. S. S. Miller , surgeon ; S. C.
Mullin , adjutant ; J. II. Malonu , quartermas
ter ; D. Krinp , chaplain ; I. P. ( irlswold , of
ficer of thu day ; M. l-'aph'ott , ollicor of the
guard. Messrs. Griswold and Mullin , rep
resentatives to grand encampment.
Ellsworth Post of Sliver Creek : L. II.
Turk , commander ; John Ient > on , senior vice
commander : O. Graves , junior vice coin-
tnnudor ; W. P. Yeoman , quartermaster ;
Thomas Pethlc , surgeon ; 'Ihomas Clark ,
chaplain ; Henry Davis , ollicer of the day ; A.
T. Steep , ollicer of the guard : J. Miller , rop-
resor.tutive ; Thomas Moore , alternate.
The John A. Logan post of Clay Center s
out of debt.
Roberts post No. 101 , Tannage , has passed
resolutions endorsing Coiiimandor-in-Chiof
Palmer's order relating to tha rebel flag , and
condemning the display of that or any other
emoleni of treason In the United States.
The veterans and sons of veterans of Craig
are planning to build a hall.
The Sons of Veterans camp at Clay Center
elected the following odlcors : William Car
ney , captain ; John Hagor , llr.it llnutoiinnt ;
John Crou.se , secoud lieutenant ; W. A. Sumner -
nor , John Crouso and Y. W. Williams , camp
council ; W. A. Sumuor , delegate to state en
campment.
Iowa Hop irlnienl Ni > w.s.
Officers of the following posts nro :
T. ' . Cook , 23 ? > , CodaiKupids Comman
der , A. St. . Clalr Smith ; S. V. C. , K. M.
Garrison ; J. V. C. , A. Starr Smith ; Q. M. ,
Hobort J.Thompson ; surgeon , J. Loy , chap
lain , J. II. Palmer : O. U , J. II , Goodhuo ;
O. G. , W T. Slocum.
Crocker , 1U , Dos Moiuos Commander , M.
L. Loonnid ; S. V. C. , J. II. McCord ; J. V.
C. , E. U. Hntchins ; chaplain , W. H. Tlldon ;
Q. M. , J. M. bhankland.
" 'Thus ' far , " says the Burlington Hawkeyo.
"tho general expression all ovur the state by
both soldiers and civilians is in favor of the
monument and in opposition to the memorial
hall. Hero and there are soiiio who advocate
the latter. Many of the votor..ns say that
even if they preferred a hall they would bo
disinclined to idvocato it now after four
years of progress by the state in favor of a
monument. But the great preponderance of
opinion among thorn is in favor of standing
by the soiaiors' monument commission.
Turned nt.
Over 200 veterans will bo turned out of the
Milwaukee branch of the National Homo for
Disabled Soldiers as a result of thu recent
medical examination made by n special com
mission to iissortalii the number of inmates
physically able to provide for themselves.
This stop was anthori/.cd by the JNationdl
Hoard ol Soldiers Homo Managnrs and was
made In the various homes throughout the
country as well as at Milwaukee. It was
considered necessary to relieve the over
crowded condition of all of thu homc > anil lo
provide quarters for the more deserving ones
awaiting admission. The commission In its
report says thatot 2'S > ! inmates of the Mil
waukee homo examined Ibl were found to uo
physically ublo to obtain u living without thu
benefits uf the home.
Tim Ij-.ihC. Call.
Major Mnlbono F. Watson , who died re
cently at thu Daytou Soldiers homo , do-
icendttd from a well trained family. Ho was
born Catsklll , N. Y. , received his military
training at West Point , nud when the war
broke out ho entered the army as second
lieutenant of the First cavalry , United States
army , the date of his appointment being
May ti. 1MJI. Ho dlstingulihed himself in
every hattlo in which ho engaged. A few
days after his appointment ho was promoted
&ud iiiado llrst lieutonantof tun Fifth artil
lery. in the battle of Gullies' Mills his bravery -
very and ctliclcncy made him again conspi
cuous , n ml ho win. brevottcd captain on Juno
B7 , IblW. In the battle of Gettysburg' ho
again no ted so bravely that ho was brovotlod
major on July ' _ ' , INK ) . On March ' . , IhliO , ho
was made n captain of the Fifth artillery ,
bud as he had lost his right log in the war ,
ho was retired with thu rank of captain ,
September , 1MV ? , Ho then served on the
corps of professors uCWest Point , afterward
being transferred to the Soldiers' homo at
Uaj'ton , O. , where he served in an oulclal
capacity till his death.
Wiirron in ii
The monument to Genorul G. 1C. Warren
will bu ono of the most attractive In the Get
tysburg battiellold. The stntuo is huroiu In
mo , bqmg eight foot in height. It roprcsonts
Warren en the Round Top , at Gettysburg , ou
the second day of the tight. The face and
form of the soldier denoio surprise. , mingled
with fear , at the discovery that General
Hood of the confederate forces , has just made
movement that threatens the rear of thu
fed oral tinny. This incident Is regarded bv
historians as the turning point In the civil
war.
war.Tho llguru of General \Vnrrou U to bo of
bronzy , surmounting a mass of granltu boun
ders to bo takou from .the histodo Little
Round Top of the famous butllatluld of Gut-
tyaburg. Upon the sides of thu biuo will bu
bronze tablets ; one a * shown in the design , u
baa-rcllof of the badge of the Grand Army of
the Republic , and other appropriate tablets
to give urtUtla effect and properly commem
orate the services of these who sacrlllcod
their lives and participated In that fearful
itrairglo , so important to the success of tbo
light at Gettysburg , and so full of possiblli-
lloi to the future life of a nation ,
On thu Driini'lloiul.
Wo had crossed the ilvcr to hunt for Lee
and glvo him battle In Iho Wilderness , says
M fjuad In the Now York World. Darkness
was just settling down , nuj the advance had
just halted for the night , when a squad of
cavalry brought lu n young man from the
front. Ho , were n mixed linilorm , as did
most of the confederates at that day , or as
iilil most of these belonging to the partisan
commands. He had on his blue trousers , a
butternut Jacket , and his hat bfloim'od to
neither .side. They said ho was a spy. Thov
said It caroio- > sly enough , but there wis an
awful slgrilllcanco In the torin at that hour.
In camp lie would have boon sonirhod , In
terrogated , nud Imnrhonod. It might have
been weeks before his trial , nud ho would
liavrt been allowed every cliiinco for his life.
Wo were on the mnrch. There had been
fighting. Thara would bo moro tomorrow.
That meant a drum-head trial for the spy.
How spoudlly everything was arranged. I
was at neudqiiartcM and saw nnd heard It
all. Within half an hour a court-martial was
convened grave faced ollleer.s who looked
into the face of the young man at llrst with
mtgrnst thou with something like admira
tion. I suld ayounicinan. Iwuswrtntr. Ho
was a Doy or IT'or is. Il had big blue eyca.
chestnut curls.nml his checks were us smooth
us a girl's. He was a handsome tail nnd I
believe that every man In the Vent felt pity
for him.
"What's your namol"
"James Blank. "
"What regiment ! "
No reply.
"Aro you a citizen or a soldiorl"
No reply.
"Can you m.iko any defense to the cliurpo
of being a spyf"
No reply.
The ollicer ? looked at each other and nod
ded , and the president waved his hand. It
didn't iseem ntnlnulo before a Illo of soldiers
came. The face of thu boy grew white , but
ho moved like ono In n dream. Ills blp blue
eyes looked upon or.o after another , at if
searching for a friend nud my heart yearned
to cry out that ho was only a boy and ought
to be given moro time.
Tramp ! Trump ! Trump !
It was the detail marching 1,1m oil into the
darkness.
"Haiti Tie this handkerchief over his
eyes. "
"
"They had brought a lantern. By Its licht "
1 saw the big blue eyes for the last timo"ns
they looked around in a dazed way. I want
ed to shout to the boy and warn him that It
was not even yet too Into to prove that ho
was not what they believed him to bu , but
the grlmncss of the scene parched my
tonijuo.
"Placo him thoro. Fall buck I Attention !
Ready aim firo. "
Toii minutes later the ofllccr in charge of
the firing party touched his cap and reported -
od :
"Orders have boon executed , sir. "
"Any further evidence i"
"No , sir , except that she was a young
woman. "
LA > r i > < i i-A or Aori > i-jtixwit
M. Quail.
Ono night an I was { j ° 'Ufr aloiifj Pearl
street u man esillcd to mo from a dark
doorway , and I btopped and looked into
it and finally mudo out a vury rajf-jod
chap Bitting on the fii-bt step of the stairs.
"Loolc n-horo I want to have u tulle
with you ! " ho bald , as I asked him what
was wanted.
"Voi-v well ; cotno out here.1
"Can't do it. If I bhould leave this
place some other chap would jump my
claim. "
"Is this whore you sloop ? "
"Y'os , unless the police got on to ma
and throw mo out. No fifth Avenue
atylo about it. but it keeps oil the dow
and the mosquitoes. Say , old man ,
something in thy tones loads mo to sus
pect that thou art a fellow of my own
craft. Am I Ic'roct ? "
"What's your craftV"
"I'm an old print. Come , now , bust
thou over handled stick and rule ? Dost
know n standing galley from tin impos
ing stouoV Hast thou over hustled for
a jilmt take on the copy hoolc ? "
"I htivo. "
"Shako ! I'd have bet on it ! .lust the
man I'm looking after. 1 w.is saying to
myself not live minutes ago Unit if an
old print would only como along and
stop to buzz with mo 1 could forgive the
world for the way it has wrongtul mo
Are you broke ? "
"Not quite/ '
"Out of a sit ? "
"No. "
' "Lucky dog ! Say , old boy , I've
tramped this country from end to end ,
1'vo made my string in nlmoit every
ollico between the Augusta Chronicle
and the Galvcbton News. I'm on my
lust take now ; I've got sing o'O this time
for sure. "
"Aro you ill ? " ,
"I'm old , and broken , and played. I'm
out o'quads mid space * . I haven't hud
a dollar marl : in the box for weeks and
weoks. I've got just about n week longer
to live. "
"I hope it isn't as bad as that. "
"It's just that w.iy. Capital small
caps , and itnlics all played out , and
solid matter for the bonoyard. Lots
reason a bit. I want to ask a favor of
yon a dying favorof an old print like
myself. "
"I'll grant it. "
"Gimme a half and don't ask mo what
I want to do with it. Don't advise mo.
Don't m ralizo. Don't double load no
temperance lecture on mo noiglvo mo
paragraphs of philosophy in Italics/ '
"Hero'syour half. "
"Bless you , old man ! How I'd UNO to
have mot you live years ago , when I
could hold two gallons of boor at onco.
Now , then , I appeal to your fratornn
sentiment. "
"Well ? "
"When 1 am dead slip in a line of
stars as a token of respect for the death of
ono who has stood at the case for thirty
long .wars. It's the only tombstone my
grave will havo. Will you do it1'
I will. "
"Shako ! Yon are old long primer
leaded out ! Von are reprint copy ! You
justify to a dot1 !
"Aro you going ? "
"Yea. Don't Iling any ? ? ? ? after
mo. Don't pity mo , for it's too late.
The old tramp print has got Slug 110 and
it's no nso kicking. So long , old man ,
and may you always have a full case and
got the phattest takes. "
* *
And so I drop In the line of stars , as I
promised him , for ho is dead. I saw him
no moro after ho went oil' in the dark
ness , but the other night I happened
Into the lodging-house where ho
bruathud his last and from whicli a city
undertaker carried his remains to a
pauper's grave , They told mo that ho
was lltllo batter than a skeleton , with
bores and wounds and bruises to provo
how ho had Doen kicked about , and that
in his dying hour there was no ono be
side him. Ho lgt ( no name , no sign
Wife , children , friends no ono will over
even look upon that mound which hides
his mortal remains. Poor old print !
May all his sins have boon forglvoiu
Klvn llnndioil Million Dollars
will uo spent at the "World's fair. " Now is
the tlmo td secure a hotel , boarding house or
other uuslnoss to make a fortune. Address
J times Peurco it Co. , Traders bldg. , Chicago.
On Ills 'Mind.
Put wus n hod-carrlor. Long practice had
made him Huoxpert at threading the mazes
of unlluished buildings , but It had also made
htm bomowhat carulrm in hi ) movements.
He had JusUtopped from a ladder to one of
the landings , and after sottluu down his load
of bricks with a sign of relief bo straightened
up. Whack 1 his head came smartly lu con
tact with a heavy boaiu.
When the foreman passed a few minutes
after , ho saw Pal sltlug ( on a keg holding
his head In both hands.
"Hollo Pat " called "what's
, , he , on your
mind I"
"Tho whole top av my head , sir. Oh my 1
Oh royt"
Dr. Cullimoro , eye and oar , Dee bid ) ;
p/ir i'n P/III Tin'
SOLACLl'OR ' illh
Aid Toothscnn Quirpa for the Merry
Mojnity.
SOLEMN TALES CLEVEHLY UNFURLED.
IjimontntloiiH , CoititatiotiH null Mis-
ortatiotiM mi ttio Koltilns of
M\nkliHl : , In PrtHO anil
ithymc.
Cnlli-il Uncle.
Llfo : "I thought you were on your Way
out west ? "
"Ho I WMVltllo , so I wnv but I ROt loft.
This Is the wnv It happouod. ' You see , I saw
an upon freight car ultixclioil to n spunlnl.
waiting In the yiiril , nud In I pitsYou Just
oujht to buvo soon \vliat was In Unit cm1.
Chmnpngno by the dozen UtislcoM , whiskies.
brandies ami cvorv kind of atufTyoa could
think of. Well , thuy lockoii the cur with mo
tnsltU * , ahd 1 says to tnosclf , aays I , 1'otor ,
you nro In It this time , sure , but excuse
these tears they hadn't pulled outsldo the
city limits before a fellor comes In to Kit
sotno of the ( jooth , and of coimu got onto mo
lu u mliutto ami ilroit mo. Willie , 1 hud cot
on to a special of a Untied Statoi souato com-
niitlL'O ( 'oitiK to ; i funeral. "
Tin ! ( Jiyjili'ly Uifl.
/Id ( / ' .
Oh , the j-luglotv fili'l
( ! co Whin !
From her too to her curl
U'nnt n botho" she Is I
For whatever you do mid whatovur you say ,
bho Is laughing away through the whole of
thu day ,
And sometimes her noisy , utiwo.iryius oal
Will raiiko a man feel
So all-tired
Uxceasivelv tired
Thnt far into space ho'd ho willing to hurl
The giggloty , glggloty , glRgleiy girl.
Oh , the Klgslety KM -
( Jroat Scott !
What a scurry and whirl
She can hritiR to the spoil
And yet , when her llsrlu-heartod fi-oedoiu
from care
Kina of gets in the air well , you can't boa
bear
And you feel that your blood wouldn't stand
"it to see
A man who could bo
Ko doivnripht
Ill-bred as to s'.icht '
Or in any wny hurt , with the mood of a churl ,
This gife'glety , gteploty , tiipKlety pirl.
'I'is Kn < | .li , Vim Know.
Pittsburg Chronicle : "There's a coat that
inuUei mo heart sick , " suit ! a clerk in u
clothing eitiiblishnidtit to oao of thu proprie
tors.
tors."What's the matter with Hi"
"I don't buliovo there's a man in to\vn that
it will lit. 1'vo tried it on fnt mini and
thin n.eti and tall inon and short mon , and
it Just hangs like a rhinoceros Uiao on even
the lattcst that trios it. 1 think you'd bet
tor tulto it out of stock and tlirow It away. "
"Oh , no ! I'll do nothing of the kind , I'll
tinnc it in the window , all by itseli , and
mark it , 'The Latest importation from L.OU-
uon. ' "
Tins was done , and before night tuo firm
hau bookou orders for thirty-nine co.its Just
like it.
_
A Soft Answer.
A pleasant faced young woman and her
husband took their seats at the hotel table
opposite a Uapoor little ilmlo fresh Irom the
center of the highest civilization , says the
Detroit Free I'ross. During the meal ttio
husband requested tho' little man to hand
him something and nil ho received was u
cola rude stare. Ho was mad in a minute
and was about to make u fmv ronwKs when
his wife laid her hand gently on his arm.
"Don't , Henry , " slio said , reprovingly.
"don't [ iay any attention to it. Yon tknow
you shouldn't expect to , linu everything in
such u little package. "
The other people at the table snorted and
the little one loft the room.
Ar the Trl < p .oiif.
Puck : "Hello , Central ! "
"Well I"
" 1 want a thousand. . "
' I know lots of nauplo in your fix. "
"I say 1 want a thousand. "
"So do I. "
"Don't get impnucnt , miss" . "
"Don't ' lot that keep you-myako nights. "
"I want to know if your going to give mo a
thousand i1'
"What for ! "
"Becauso I want it. "
"Well , if you got it before I do , ring mo
up. "
"Are you going to give mo a thousand f"
"Wouldn't a hnndied do ! "
"No. I want a thousand or nothing , "
"Well , don't bother mo if you do ; I'm ' no
savinps bank. "
"Will you or will you not give mo what I
ask for : "
"If I were a man I'd hunt you up and give
you something you didn't ask for. "
"You are oithur insane or trying to bo
funiij. "
"I think the shoo is on the other foot. "
"I shall ask you once move will you
give mo No. 100J Brown , Jones & IJo bin-
son ! "
"Oh. you want the telephone nuinbor
one , throb naughts ! Why didn't you say so
before ? "
' Blank-blunk-blankoty-blanlc a telephone ,
. "
anyhow. _
Mr. M odd cry raH lust met nil ( "ollojlinn
"Hello , Haysood1' ! called out a rude young
fresihnwn to Farmer Moddorgrass.
"Young man , ' ' ronliod the farmer , "you at
tend that college on the hill there , don't
you ? "
"Yes , "
"Then lot mo toll you something that is not
there : It Is unpardonably incorrect to speak
of haysrod. That is something which does
not exist. Hay is dried grass and the proper
term is grass seed. .Inst remember that. "
A Tlirciiotly on u William Gout.
K.T. . Sinltli in ' < > rl ! <
Only a goat , a William gout ,
With ionggoateo and shaggy coat ,
Slowly irath'ring his frugal meal
'Mid old tin cans and scrans of steel.
Only a train , a fast mail train ,
Spurnintr the aarth with wild disdain ,
Tuurini : tuo air in tutters ' lin ,
'
Fiiling'tho car with horrid din.
Only n pllo , a pile of "scrap , "
Now loft to mark this sad mishap.
Only n goat , scattered and torn ,
With hero u hoof and there a horn.
Only a stone , in his behalf ,
And on it placed this cultnph ,
"Hero William lies , his troubles o'er ,
Oil dynumlto ho'll lilno no more ) "
Great DII OluclcoiiH.
Now York Weekly : Easterner : You sny
yon have a farm in the west for sale } I
ihlnk of going west. Is your farm in a good
climatat
Westerner : I should smile , Why , sir ,
whenever wo have visitors they just sit thorn-
solves right down , and don't do u thing the
whole day long but wrlto poetry abont feath
ered soncstors , and soughing winds , an'
blushing posies , an' celestial
"Yes , but Is the climate adapted to formIng -
Ing ! "
"Well , I'll tell yon. AVe raised 000 chickens
this year , and when time came tp got 'em to
market , wo was in u fix. The dealers wouldn't
take 'em unless they was picked. NQW you
can sco what a job that would be. , Sj.\ hun
dred chickens to scald ana pick and onlv mo
and my wife to do it , " %
"Yes , but tha climate "
"That's ' it. Our beautiful agricultural
climate was what saved us. That , very day
along came a cyclone , picked up thorn
chickens , give their necks a twist , stripped
every durn fuatlurr off , an' landed the hull
lot In thu next town , right in float of the
market house. "
of Tough WoHtiier.
Old man Hutobag of Itutabagvllto sajs lets
going to bo a very severe winter. "Look at
the hornets' nests , " bo gays. "You will llnd
them high ; if it was going to boa mild win *
tor you would llnd them near the ground.
Then take angle worms ser auotbar slgu. Dig
in the ground now ana yon will find them
two feet below the surface. Fuzz on hoga U
another sign of a severe winter. Butcher a
hog now and you will tlud a thick fun at the
roots of ttio bristles. I prodloted a hard
hard winterJ8MS& J-nnrs ago from thoso'slghs
and mv neighbors ridiculed mo , or triad to ,
but wo got iffuu as I said. "
- , . 4 _ _ _ _ _
( Jo it Cnti p for Cuintilitlnt.
Major Murmiiroyd"No , sir , I do not like
the ncwspiipt-r" today ! Lot mo glvo you an
illustration. tlwt week I mot a reporter of
"Tho Moon"-it'i ' and
- < umllv , you understand
told himcasOilliy - a good storv about Judca
llungstnrlt'r s viill to my house and the tlmo
wo tmd. Mad ? him promise ho wouldn't pub
lish it. Sco ! 1 I
Pompnno-Yos. Ho promised I
Miijor M. llMIUl. Then what do you sup-
posol „ , , , ,
i'ompano ( wearily ) D'no.
Muj > r M. ( * ! lv'utuly ) Ho didn't publish it.
Not u Hue , slvi coin line !
He iovod an l/'dlircsn.
. / . Kilmunil Co. I ; .
'Tls hard enough , in any case , to a win
woman's you ,
Uut pity mi , O gods and men ! 1 loved an
editressj
With fervor I implored her to accent my
heart and hand.
With guntla care , she answered me , In ac
cents soft and binmi ,
"Wo must regret , wo cnnnot use
The ttitlcles you offer. Tula rejection
IinnllU'i upon their merit no rolloction.
Kor , while tlioy do not mo'Jt our views ,
Uo often must reject what others wo ,
Your style may not bo our.s , you uuder-
atntui ,
Oi wo have similar articles on hand ;
There tmiv bu munv reasons unUetallablo ,
Uut nt this time the articles are not avail
able. "
Hi * Fount ! the Wind Tempered.
Detroit Free 1'toss : "So yon are back
from Clucutro1 said one citi/en to another.
"Yos. "
"Had u lively tlmo. I suppose ! "
"No doubt of it. 1 wont into the Hoard of
Trade. "
"Interesting , wasn't itt"
"Vorj. I never before roali/.ed how com
pletely the wind could bo tempered to the
shorn lamb. "
"I don't quite understand. "
"Lief ore I went in every man I saw tried
to talk mo to death. After I came out no
body bpoku to IIID. "
> . ooklnj ; 1-orwnrd.
Washington bt'ir : "Doctor , I wish you
would examine mo ar.d toll mo what you
tlilnk about my mental balance. "
"it's all right. "
"Ain't there a little something wrong ;
just enough to put mo down as a crank , you
know. "
"Abiolutolv nothing. "
" \Vell , good bye , " he aid In u disappointed
tono.
"What did you want to know nil this for ! "
" 1 felt u stronir , abnormal Impulse lo rob
somebody , and 1 wanted to lind out whether
1 wa ? cruy enough lo make it safe if I got
into court. "
'Joit Sugg
-Pittsburg Chronicle : Dukano : I sup
pose you've noticed the fad the women have
of putting snakes on their elothesf
Gaswell ; Yes.
"Embroidered snakes , and trllt snakcvs , and
all sorts ol snakes , used in all sorts of
wuysi '
Yes "
"Well' I don't admire the stylo. "
"Neither do I. Thcv are del irium trim
mings. "
TlM ) Mired Girl.
"I suppose .ton have an easy time of it now
that you've irota. . servant cirl. What time
do joti getdp lln the morninpf" "At T
o'clock. " "And what time does your pirl got
upf" "AtT : $ ri'clock. " "Gracious ! And
why ao you got up before she does ; " "To
call her. " ' '
"Doctor , how shall 1 take the pilH" "It's
the oaslfst thinp lu the world. Place it on
your tongue , and take a drink of water. "
"Water' ' I can't'do that. I'm a prohibitiou-
ist. I never tnt-ted watt-r in my life. "
run AVIijtour iroj/u.v.
Mllo. Bilt6scotho'voung ! ; lioumanlan ro-
coutly admitted to practice law in France , is
n tall , graceful and , dark-haired girl of L'i. ;
She is the only child ota banker of Buchar
est , and in that city she uas hung out , her
shingle.
' 1 ho women artists of the world are said to
bo watcMng for the bust of Parnoll which
Miss Grunt , a young Englishwoman , has
boon commissioned to make. The time mav
como when women will "sculp" as well as
men have been doing for ages. The very
next generation may see a "female Phidias , "
which the time of Phidias never saw.
The weakness of a woman's knee is owing
to the short dist-inco between the crest of
the ilium and the great .trnchiinter , says a
medical journal. And yet the small boy who
is so olten drawn across it never has time to
notice the peculiarity above noted.
Mrs. Mary C'hynowoth , the Christian sci
entist , who is worth aoout HOOIJ.UOO. is living'
in a new hoiiio'ut Kim Jose , rial. , that con
tains 10'J ' rooms. Two sons with their fam
ilies help to give the mansion an inhabited
look. Mrs. ChynoU-eth preaches t > vorv Sun
day what she cads " ' "
'inspired" sermons. It
was an inspiration that mudo her rich. She
had u tooling ono dav'that on certain land in
Wisconsin were valuable iron mines , and
sure enough , her sons say , there was the
iron.
iron.A
A strangnfigure on the streets of Washing
ton is that of Josephine J. Jarocki , a Polish
counters and a graudnoieo of Count PulasUi
of revolutionary famo. She is described as a
"human dried apple , " poor to indigence and
shabbily dressed , and she is about . "m years
old. For twentv years she has boon lighting
for a fortune loft by Count Pulaski.
The dcorgla girl known a the "human
magnet , " bdcauao of her singular electric
force , has oeon having a successful career in
Hngland , and .sho has now reached ttio top
notch of advertising fame in having cured
the prince of Wales of a neuralgic headache
Other American girls have , loss ostentatious
ly , cured the aches of British arts tocrats , bu
they have usually been heartaches.
Dr. Cuhimoro , oculist , Boo building1
HAY WHAT YOU 31 HAN.
A Reporter's Observations and a story
oJ'the Klcler HonncMt.
"Thoro should bpii rulolii every news
paper olllOo in-oriibltln the use of certain
phrases iind expressions , " said an old
war uurruiiooiulonl to u Now York re
porter , as do throw down n paper in an
elevated eur. "It distresses mo to see
poof , old , haelcneyait expressions kept
nt worlc daily when they should have
boon retired loii"- ago.Vliy should a
reporter always refer to a man's 'iminacu-
lutu linen' wh < l/P / ho moans to say that
the mini woro'ti'blean ' shirt , and why In
heaven's nnmu ( should a man or woman
bo described as'well groomed ? ' Hero
they are both'lii'ono ' paragraph and just
bosldo thorn i 'tho man wtio , according
to the roportdlV'lH always saving some
thing real dnvilish 'with a twfnklu In h'-s
eye , ' and the other follow who made thin
or that remark as 'ho lit a fresh cigar.
"Thoro shcjiaW bo a comotopy for Fonilo
and UbOd-uiw6ru3 and phrases that have
out-lived thole usefulness , if they over
was useful , Will' about 1,000 of'thorn
should bo latd'aVny in quicklime at once
and never ro urrooted.
< /i .j )
THE GOOSE FAIR AT PRESTON
A Misnouior for Penny Shows and the Sala
of Shoddy Trinkoti ,
BLATANT COCKNEYS APEING AMERICANS ,
The Unroot of n Ghost Sliotr
Young Hlonx Hack
fill Carousal nt the Close
HI' ttio Affair.
The following letter was written at Preston -
ton , Knglaud , by Bhorman Cantlcia , sou of
George Uanllold of this city , who Is now In
Hnglutid managing n successful uratmulo
venture In which Sioux Indians form ono of
the attractions :
"Tho celebrated geese fair was in progress
while wo wnro in Nottingham , but It Is not as
Us name implies : a fair for the exhibition of
go.MO. The only suecimons of Unit noble
bird so reverenced in Kama that
I saw there were the vast crowds
which patronized the undertaking.
It continued three days , Thursday , Friday
and Saturday , and was nothing moro or less
than a carousal.
"Tho people bognu to gather as early as
Tuesday , and by Wednesday every available
inch of space in the market square was oc
cupied with booths of ovury description and
for a variety of purposes the sale of hot
potatoes , fried lish and sweets. Stands were
at every tyrti , and morry-go-rounds , ghost
shows , Hying swings , menageries and
numerous other catch-ponny fakes , with
their steam organs and Uass drums , were
enough to sot one wild. A few moments before
fore the show began on the Inside of these
improvised theaters , were devoted lo ex
hibiting a few of the wonderful things on
exhibition. Girls in short skirls singing and
dancing , and men with wonderfully developed
muscles ol the right arm Heating tuns
drums generally proved too alluring for the
simple-minded rustics , and impelled Hocks of
them to pay their pennies and pass In. Any
thing labolcd America boomed to be a special
draw and , notwithstanding the. pronounced
Cockney or Lancashire dialect of the sup
posed American managers or performers
while crying the special features of their
show , the rustics crowded In , and generally
came out convinced that the " \ankb" were
wonderfully clover people. The Hyinirswings
and liuruy gurdies were not pntronl/cd by
the children , as ono would suppose , but by
men and women , old and younir. At fre
quent intervals ono with too much bitters or
'alt and 'alf on board would lose his balance
and full from his wooden horse into the
crowd. Everything cost a penny no morct
and the number of vendors of small wares
was astonishing.
"i'no "bogie man' was out in force , and 1
counted no loss than sixteen of him in a line
selling these hideous-looking objects made
to jurni ) up and down by moans of n rubbor.
The 'bogie man' was yelled into one's car at
every turn. It scorned as though every man ,
woman and child in KnghUid who possessed
a spark of talent was there.
"i'he streets lined with
were vocalistsper
formers on the ncniiv wnisUe , hand organ
grinders , etc. , and ono could hear almost
every song or tune that was ever written.
"Ono of the ghost shows was really good. I
took some of the Indians down to ice it. I
mndo three attempts before i was able to pot
them in , as the crowd gathered around us
and slinnly penned us up , so onpor were
they to see the uoblo red men. At last I got
two police constables to escort us and finally
landed the Indians inside. Ono of the latter
Is n big young lollow who hud never boon
olt ol the reservation before , and who is still
n llrm boliovcr in the Messiah. Ho had on
ono or the ghost shirts and happened to bo
the only ono who were one. When the show
ghost appeared , the lirst time , it stayed only
n moment and the expression on the Indian1 ! ,
face was a study. Ho looked at the other
Indians but they showed no signs of fear or
amazement. The young Indian was puzzled
about it.
" 1'ho second time the chest came It staid
longer mid the poor 'boy' shook like a leaf.
When the ghoat pointed in the direction of
the young Indian it was too much for him.
With a fearful yell the young buck jumped
up , tried to got his ghost shirt olT and started
for the door. Of course that created a panic
and broke up the show. Children screamed
and women fainted , and for a few moments I
feared it would result seriously.
" \ \ hen wo pot homo the young Indian
locked himself up and began to 'mako medi
cine. ' The interpreter and I finally got him
qn'otod. Ho swore that it was the ghost
of Sitting Hull that ho had scon.
The reason the other Indians did not see it ,
iio said , was because they did not wear the
ghost shirts.
'I ho scene on Saturday night when the
fair closed boggard description. There were
100WO ( strangers in the city and tit 12 o'clock
the streets leading to the station were liter
ally packed M ith drunken men and women ,
and the air was filled with intermingled bits
of curses and soups. Mothers with babes in
their arms sat on the curbstones too drunk to
walk or tell where they wanted to po. They
could bo numbered by the hundreds , while
drunken brawls in which both men and
women "participated > vero too numerous to
mention. Policemen were helpless and the
town ran riot.
"It was a scene one can never forgot but
which ho does not want to witness a second
timo. How they over managed to got into
the right train and roach their destination is
more than I can tell.
"Notwithstanding the horror , some of the
scones wore very funnv and if 1 had had some
of the Omaha boys with mo to witness them ,
1 could have enjoyed It greatly.
"We pet ttnee or four letters a week from
Colonel Cody , congratulating us on our sue-
co.ss and also complimenting mo as a man
ager.
"The U ild West returns to America in
January and next year will have one of thu
largest and most novel entertainments over
produced something entirely now. and ori
ginal.
"I have not decided yet whether I will re
turn with them or remain here until
our tour ir. finished in the spring , lu cither
case , I will bo with the colonel again next
summer , unless something unforeseen hap
pens. "
Dr. Hirnoy cures catarrh. 13eo bldg.
An enterprising London woman has dis
covered a new method of earning money
pleasantly. Just before the close of the season -
son she auvortised to take cnro of valuable
plants and palms while their owners were
out of town , and secured a sufllciont number
to lure an assistant and clear considerable
profit.
Dr. Cullimoro , oculist , Boo building.
The recently current Item recounting the
fact that the members of the Pier family in
Milwaukee , composed of father , mother and
two daughters , were ull lawyers , nrings out
the information tnat Mrs. 1C. 13. Sarpont of
Kt , Louis , and her three daughters are all
physicians. Mrs. Sargent was graduated
from a Now York mudtcnl school in l Dl and
is said to have been thu tirst woman in tills
country to pass a college medical examina
tion. Her oldest daughter , Mrs. E. 10. Cur
tis-Ponce , was the first young woman tu bo
graduated from a St. Louis medical college.
Dr. Ulrney euros catarrh Boo bldg.
PLEASE
Cents a pound for VAN HOUTEN'S
COCOA ( "Best & Goes Farthest" ) seems to bo
high. Let us compare it with the price of Coffee :
1 lb. of good coffee costs at least 30c. , makes 31 hall-pint cups.
0 " " " " therefore OOe. , " 93 ' " "
1 ' "V. II. COCOA" also OOc. , " ICO " " "
'Which is the Cheaper Drink ? 5
RKTAIL HUOK. nr. j 93 cups of Coffee ,
IMtcinli i r pouaj yuc. | " " 5j
I60 "V.H.Cocoal
by every Orocer. -j
CUT THIS OUT
Painless. Less Pain. No Pain- -r
The wonderful locnl nnnsthottc ifod only by Dn. BAILEY Ii
relieving hundreds of people of the agony usually oxlsting In hnv-
Ing tooth oxti'nctod. By the use of this harmless drug tooth are ex
tracted absolutely without pain or danger , the pntlont being per
fectly conscious all the time , but the sensibility ol' the tissue nr < Hina
the place whore applied bolng entirely gone. No extra uhnrgo fof
using this wonderful drug.
$3-00 $5.00 ,
A Full Set of Five Dollars a
TEETH Sit
' L- ' * J JON
Ami a
ON RUBBER
For Five Dollars \ > Every Time ,
. . TuothVltlioiit . Pliitoi. Koinovublo IlrldRn Work nt iirli-os lltllo tnon than for a rubboi
pliitc. Giilil I Illitictiml all work pnnilnlMU : to ili'tillitry at li > n < > - ( r.ili'fl.
R. W. BAIKEIV , 13. D. S.
OFFICES THIRD FLOOR PAXTON BLOCK.
TELEPHONE , 1O8B. 10TH nncl FARN AM ST5. , BntrnnOo on 10th.
The UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS
that the
Behr Bros. & Go's.
Have aUaliidl , and the ! ii < , ' ! i praKo they Inno ollcllo'.l from Iho world' * MOST IIK <
NMVNKI ( ) ARTISTS , from the press and from a publlr long projmlicp , ! in favor ol
Idcr makes , II is safe to iis > iunc that tin- instrument must ho pussesM * 1 of I'NCOM
MON ATTIUBUTKS.
ATTIUBUTKS.MAX MEYER & BRO. CO. ,
Sole Agents , Omaha , Nebraska ,
Established rS66.
WOOD'S ' ICE TOOLS
RUN IRON , ROPE & BLOCK'S '
Send for catalogue.
Jas , Morton Son & Go , Dodge 1311 Street
rvarai
OF OMAHA.
ABSOLUTELY INCANDESCENT
FIRE PROOF , ELECTRIC LIGHTS
PERFECT
NOT A DARK
VENTILATION
OFFICE
IN THE BUILDING ,
NIGHT AND DAY
ELEVATOR
68 VAULTS , SERVICE , D
\1 \ Will UUIUl
DIRECTORY OF OCCUPANTS :
GROUND FLOOR :
M.R. tfAUGLK COMI'ANV , Tolegrnph I'olo. i CI'I V THKASUltKlt.
Cross TIe . Liiinlmr. i-to. OMAHA URAL KHI'ATU AMI TltUST 00.
MU1K & CiAVLOKI ) , Itual Astute. .1 , 1) AVIT.S. Itotundii UlsiilHtaml. .
CITY COMt'THOLLKK. WOMAN'S nXCUANUi : .
FIRST FLOOR :
TIIK OMAHA run : COUNTING UOOM. I'ltANC L. UHKVrs & CO. . Contractors.
vi'itUIni ? nnd Siiliii'rlptiiJii Dupurliiiuiil \vi > TKHN UNION TILI : : < ; UAI'II OKI.'ICE. .
AMl-.IUCAX WATKU WOItKS COMI'ANV. CKNl'ltAL LOAN AND TUUST CO.
mn : IIUILIXXO.
SECOND FLOOR.
Tlin I'ATIUCIv LAND COMI'ANV , On nor- , Tin : iguiTAitLi : : LICK ASSUIIANOI : so.
of Dilution I'liit-o. oiiCTYorNiw : YOUK.
DII. H. 11. 1UHNKV. Nooand Throut. CIIKISTIAN t-ClKNCi : AS.-OC1ATION.
OH. CIIAltLICh lOSL\VATii ! : ! . ANliLO-AMRlUCAN MoltTJUK ( ! & . TUL'h'J
I'UOVIDKNT SAVINCiS LirK , of Now Yolk. ( 'O.MPANY.
aiASSAUmiSKTTS MUTUAL Ml'K 1NSUU- nni : iiritKAi ; 01. . ' CLAIMS.
ANCIIi COMPANY. GltANT CULMMOltn , OonllMtiind Aurlst.
THIRD FLOOR.
JOHN ( iUANT , ContriiotorforStrt'otiinilSliloMANHATTAN Lll'T ' I.VrilJUANCJi : COM
\vilv ; | I'.tvcmimts , PANY.
ItOIIKKT \ . \TUIOIv , Law Ollicos. Dlt. W. .1. ( i.vnilKAITII.
KQIHTY COI'ItT NO. I. lt. ! D-UAH S. IIOi-'l < 'MAN.
KQl'ITY ' rOUItl' NO. A. UMTKII hTATKS Lll-V ; INSCJItANor. UO. ,
LAW I'OUIIT ' NO. I. of tM'w Yorlc.
.1. .M.IJIIAMIinUS , AbitlMOti. ' '
\\M. SIMKUAL. sC u.'i'A'rriiN , 'iuntiit. )
FOURTH FLOOR.
NOKTiiwn.s-rr.itN MUTUAL JjU'K INSUU- T. M. UIil.IH. Airhltfi't.
A NCH COMPANY UKOltlii : W. SI'L.S ' .t t'OMI'ANY. fc-ol | ltoi-.s u (
CONNKfTIOUT MUTUAL LIPi : INSUK- 1'aluntH.
ANCi : COMPANY. II.A.WAU.N KitAuont for IJiilluil&lutOrfMiitnal
1T.NN MUTUAL Lll'R INbUKANOK COM Atx-l'U'lit ' Insiininuo CoiniMiiy.
PANY. JOHN Lin'HOl. I'nlilNlmr.
iiAimxwDuri : AND ANNUITY INSUIN OMAHA COAL KXUJIANCK.
AN ( K COMPANY. I' . ! ' . KKiNHHIti : ( , I'li-sco 1'alnlor. '
MKAI ) INVESTMKNT COMPANY. ALI'.X MOOKI' ) . Ko < l i"tuti : : mil Loin ? .
WKHsTKIlft HOWAItl ) . Iniilnim-n. I1OHN HASH AM ) DOOlt OO.
KD11-ON ( IKNPtAL KLICCTIIIO COMPANY. TllllMKUOHANi'a KKTAIL UO.M.MIIHOIAL
\VKbTKItN CAlt .SKUVICK AHOUIATION. AUi.NC'Y. : '
AMWKW UOSKWATRU , Civil Kn.'lnuur. hTAI'LKTON LANil CO.
J. L. HbACK. Civil Knglnaor. o.MAHA KUIIIlCIt COMI'ANV.
FIFTH FLOOR.
HKADQUAUTKKH , I' . S. AUMY , OKPAKT- CMIII.K I'AYMASrnU.
Jir.NT 01' TH I' PLAT i'K , W Olllcui. I'AVMAHTKK.
OKPAHTM K.NT UOMMANHHIL
ADJUTANT ( JK.NIIUAL. AfcSlsTA.NryilAllTKUMASTI'U.
INM'KCTOlt (1KNKIIAU ( INSlTUTOltSMALLAItMSl'llAOl'IOK ,
Jt'DOK ADVOUATR C'lMlil'OKOllDNANOi ; ,
K.\iiiNiKitori'iaiit : : ,
AI HKff. I ) I > { -A Ml' .
Ii 1 I ) . I Al lIlltr.CTOU. AHfl.sTANT
riU KU ioN. :
SIXTH FLOOR.
HAHTMAN .V COLLINS. Iron Gua iind UNITKH.STATKH '
. LOAN I\\'I.STMI-.N
Wutur IMiio. COMI'ANV.
C. LAMUKUT .SMITH. TIIK IMl'LIIMKNT Iir.ALKIt.
G , K. HKINDlMI'l' ' , Architect. II. \ . KITUil , MPiiD iMiiliur. ri
UI.KU PH1NTINI. CO. I. O. NAMI. Lu mi.
I , ' . K AUMY PKINTINC. fj I' KICKS. W A. ( JOUI.I ) . KurniH.
MANUi'ACTUUiH9 : ANU CONaUMKItd AH- HAMILTON LOAN AND TUUST CO.
KDI10KIAL ItOOMS OK Till : lllvK , I
. CITY AND COUNTY
liEPuu.lCAN CKN- " "
TICAL IOM.MITTKK M. A ! IJI'TON co."rtialibtuto. ;
SEVENTH FLOOR.
TIIK OMAHA I'IIF.83 OLUII. IIAUIlKll SIKH' .
HOClKTY 01'
_ _ _
A few more elegant ollice rooms may be had by applying
to R. W. Baker , Superintendent , office on counting room floor