Pages 9 to 12 , Pages 9 to 12
TWENTY-FIRST YEAR. OMAHA , SATURDAY JULY 11 , 1801-TWELVE PAGES , XUM13EK 23
TMIKlkVltKI'.ltV TA100.
lloftnit ( tiiirlfr.
She'd st nil led \n \ the German school ,
And when sbo dally | > lnycil upon
The ernnd piano , Kro.it Itio dlti
Thai Instrument she made upon.
Sho'il never subjugate her mood
To gasps of pianissimo ,
Hut slug and slug 11,0 Ivories
In sturdiest fortissimo.
Jn ovnry clmnnol of- her lifo
Her tendencies xverO thunderous ,
Ilur dresses xvoro so loud , u sight
Of tlio.n from sloop would sunder ua.
And xvhon her lovur cuinu und she
In tlmio of love would kiss him , ih ,
The xvpluln would reverberate
With c'cttDlngs fortissimo.
Sho's married now an.l has a hraco
Of very nolsv little ones ,
Ano forttinntu It , Is for thoin
Thnt tnoy xvero not inudo hrlttlc onoj.
For xvhnn thuv do oIToiid. ut otico ,
With movoinunts alli'gilsslmo ,
Shu hammers on their notlmr pruts
In muscular fortissimo.
A FAMOUS VICILASTE.
, .STOitY oKTiin MAN IN Tin : MASK WHO
ExicuTin'ONK : .IIcxniiiiD
MONTANA OUTLAWS.
Cincinnati C'oimnorcinl-Giizottc : Ow
ing1 to the Hcnroity of sottlomonla in
Montana sorno txvonty-livo years ago ,
nnd to the { rrcnt nuinbor of horse
thlcvcH , Plage robbers and murderers ,
crime hold hiyh carnival in that terri
tory and for many months defied nil nt-
toinptH of laxv ollluort ) at arrest and pun
ishment. These criminals , bindod
together under the name of "road
nj o'its , " xvoro xvoll organized under
tlio leadership of Henry I'lummoi1 ,
bhorilT of Bannuck , who beinir un
suspected xvith his deputies , committed
the very crimes under cox'er of his
olllciul position. Against such a pow
erful combination the honest minors
and farmers wore at first helpless , but
in 1802 men of nerve and determination
organized a "viirilunco committee. "
The members , called "regulators , " xvoro
bound together by oath , and their cuir-
paign In hunting up and exterminating
criminals began aa suddenly us it xvas
unrelenting. Kvory suspected person
\vas arrested , given a fair trial , and , if
proven guilty , executed on the spot.
Manof them xvcro expelled from the
territory under penalty of death. A few
of the regulators of those times are still
living in Montana , jind , as successful
business and professional men , enjoy
the respect of their follow citizens.
A small volume entitled "Tho Regu-
Mo s of Montana , " xvas publishe l by an
Englishman in lb ( > 5. In the description
of the one hundred or inoro hangings
which took pluco under the operation of
"Judge Lynch , " there always appears n
mysterious personage nf executioner ,
who digs the graves , provider and ad
justs the rope and bundles the bodies.
On such occasions this htranger xvoro a
mablc and , for obvious reasons , his name
hud boon kept a secret for-many years.
But in the winter of 1SSU the legislature
of Montana lifted this veil of bocrocy ,
and bv joint resolution thiinkod Deputy
United States Marshal Boidler for his
omlnont und fearless public services in
the extermination of the dosuorato road
agents.
Mr. Boidler , or X , as ho is universally
called , becumo n private citizen xvith
the advent of the democratic adminis
tration in 18So , ho being a pronounced
republican , but it is to bo-hoped that the
burvico under the noxv regime xvlll have
further use for him and that ho xvill con
tinue a terror to ovil-doors far many
years to come. IIo is noxv nearly sixty
years of ago , of small but compact frame ,
jib. a handsome face , dark , piercing
a umljy bushy , overhanging oyo-
broxvs , and his movements are quick and
cat-like , although somowhnt impeded by
a gunshot xvound in the loft hip , re
ceived durjng the border troubles' in
Kansas.
X. xviis born in Philadelphia , Pa. , and
is a brother of the gentleman xvho for
many years has boon Icnoxvn as the pro-
' prlotor of the Marcoo house in that
rcity , IIo is of fair education , full of
quaint ideas and xvitty sayings ; in
fact , ho is considered the best'talker in
the neighborhood of Bitterroot and Lust
Chnnco Gulch ; ho is perfectly fearless ,
instantaneous and unerring at the trig
ger but childlike and bland of demeanor.
IIo is probably the best known anil most
quoted man in Montana , and I am afraid
that some of his crisp sayings have become -
come more popular than prayers xvith
many of the frontiersmen.
I first became acquainted xvlthX. some
fifteen yearh ago , and have nlxvays boon
very fond of our occasional meetings ,
xvhieh ho alxvays manages to render
highly interesting and often instructive.
I xvlll endeavor to give from memory
one of. his reminiscences nnd , so far as
possible , in his oxvn xvords.
"I started , " began X. , "In December ,
1803 , from Virginia City , Mont. , to
Snake river , Idaho , for the purpose of
hurrying along King's ox train , loaded
xvith grub for our burg. Supplies xvoro
doxvn to bed rook , aild ttio boys xvoro
living on birds' nests nnd ice cream.
Prices xvoro high ! What little tho.ro
xvas left sold for a dollar n pound ham.
Hour , sugar , eolTco and 'Tom and Joi-ry.
' * " * * I'rodo a big fat mule by the name of
Tom , and xvo stopped the first night in
the xvoods near Bedrock crook. The
snow xvas knee deep and moro coming
doxvn. gnvoTom the benefit of my
croon blankets and kept myself pranc
ing around all night , tnlnking of augar-
phmiH and Christinas trees at homo.
"In the morning my blankets xx-oro
gone , and from the appearance of Tom's
dtonmoh I suspected that the darned old
fool had oaten thorn for noxv-moxvn hay ,
deceived by the color. In the livening I
reached ununnck .lunation , xvhoro I
found Joe Patty putting up n shanty.
" 'Whoro are you from , btrangorr ho
askoil.
" 'Virginia City , ' I said.
" 'Where is your xvagonV
" 'Haven't got any. '
" 'Hain't ? '
you got any bedding
" 'Vos , lots of it.1
" 'Whoro is itV
" 'In Virginia City' ( about one hundrdd
nnd tun mill's distant ) ,
" 1 boon oraxvled into a dismounted
xvngonbud and.slopt through the long
and cold night on an empty stomach. On
the following day I crossed the range
Into PluuHnnt valley , passed Beaver
toll-gate , crossed Camus creek and found
the lookod-for train on Snuko rlvor on
the fifth day of my jouriwy.
"Having dollvorod in1 message to the
trnlnuuibtur to push through at all ha-
and rognrdloss of expense , and
flu secured for my oxvn use some
inkols , hardtack , bacon and a bottle
01 gin , I started on my return trip , and
in duo courbu of time reached the toll-
u'uto , xvhoro 1 found a tall , villainous-
looking xvhtto man uccomimuiud bv n
UannaoU Indian.
"I did not knoxr cither of them and
my weather oya opou. The wlilto
man ( it xx'as Dutch John , xvho , in com
pany xvith Steve Marchlnnd , had at
tacked Forbes' train a foxv days before )
had both his hands badly Ire/son nnd
when ho knocked them against the table
they sounded like rock * .
"I filled a gold pan full of Ice xvatcr
from the crock and told him to put his
hands in. Ho kind of fainted and I
tipped my gin bottle and braced him up.
While I xvas xvorking him I remarked :
'How In h Us it that you , a great big
lonmx.froi'zo and thai half naked Indian
kuojH on perspiring ? ' Ho said ho dldn t
knoxv at the time ho xvm freo/.lng. I
nuked him why ho didn't Hup his arms
like wing-i and ho grullly said ho didn't
xvnnt to.
"After drinking the gin and feeling
Bomoxvhat better ho inked mo xvhoro I
lived , and being told , xvnnted to knoxv If
I had been present at the hanging of
George I ves ,
" 'Yes , ' said I. 'and I was on guard all
through th'il ' racket. ' He xvcnt on and
asked all about xvhat Oeorgo said and
done , and I told him that ho had xveak-
oned toxvnrd the last , and that ho-had
cried and talked about his mother.
"In the evening John asked mo if I
heard that Forbes' train had b-scn at
tacked. I said , 'Yes , and I am looking
to find the folloxvs lying dead on the
trail , as they xvoro both batilv shot. I'll
take oil Dutch John's Icggins , as 1 need
a pull * very much. ' John's eyes snapped
like bullet-molds , and ho asked mo if I
really meant xvhat I said.
" ' boots'said I although
'You bet your , ,
John did not xvoar any boots.
"Soon nflor xvo wont to sleep. All
through the night the Bannaclc Indian
stood guard over the door , xvntehing the
approaches.
"In the morning John's hands xvoro
terribly blistered. I wont down among
the fir trees , and collected balsam , got
some lining-out of my coat , made bund-i-
gos and xvruppod them around his fin
gers , not knoxving at the time that ho
xvus xvoundod through the arms , or that
ho belonged to the gf'iig. '
"Tho folloxv xvas caught a few days
after by some of the boys , tried , sen
tenced and hung , having his lingers
wrapped up In the identical rags I had
provided. IIo xvroto a pitiful letter to
Ids mother before ho died , and I foil
somoxvhut grieved to lose my patient in
summary xx-ny before I had fully cured
him.
him."Stove Marohluml , his partner , xvho
had been shot through the chest , wo
found and strung up about the same tirno
at the Big Hole creek , on our xvay to
clean out the Hell Onto gang. Upon
our return , a fcxv days later , his body
was still dangling from a tree , and bo-
loxv it xvus crouching his faithful shep
herd dog , hoxvling mournfully and
gnashing his teolh at us. But I xvill give
you the rest of that trip.
"Boforo reaching Pleasant Valley di
vide I mot Dick Hamilton of Fort
Bridger ; Captain Nick Wall and Bon
Tenbody of Banmck ; Colonel C. A.
Broadxvutor of Helena and a do/rm more
men on their xvay from Virginia City to.
Salt Lake , loaded doxvn with gold dust.
They asked mo to pick up a sick mule
they had loft on the road. I told them
that thai xvas the kind of a job I xvas
looking for.
"They then asked mo If I had seen
anything of Dutch John , describing him.
"I bald yes. I loosened up my bottle
of gin on the 1 Then I knexv at
ouco why the felloxv couldn't Hup his
arms to keep from freezing.
' I soon reached Fatty's. It was biltor
cold and.there xvas no lire in the cabin.
I asked him why ho didn't got some
xx-ood and ho said ho had sent an Indian
out after some.
"While silling Ihoro shivering and
shaking , Indian Sam , xvho had been
sent til tor the xvood , returned' empty-
handed. Upon my Inquiry ho replied :
'They ' xvasn't chopping today ! '
"I asked him : 'Who ? '
" 'Why , the beavers , ' ho replied.
"It seemed that ho had boon in the
habit of gathering in the sticks xvhich
the beavers had boon gnaxving during
the night ; but that sagacious animal had
at last dropped on the lazy Indian's
racket.
"On the folloxvlng morjilng I mot
George Ilildeman and txvo other men ,
xvho had been banished by the boys at
the time Ix'es xvas hung.
"They , not knoxving about my trip ,
and fearing those behind mo in the
xvoodsvuro beared half to death , and
George exclaimed :
" 'My God , X. , what's the matter ? '
" 'Nothing , boy ; keep right on , and
don't look back ! ' I said.
"Tho next afternoon I reached Bun-
nack , and stopped at a hotel called
Bullalo Corral , kept by lion Sayors.
"Going doxvn street I mot Buck Stln-
son , Haze Lyon , and a number ol the
Plummet' outfit. They nil shook my loft
hand xvhllo I kept my right ready for
explosions.
"They asked xvhoro I had been and
the time of my doparluro for Virginia
City. I gave tlioui an evasive nnsxx-or ,
inviting ihom to proceed to Hades.
-'Whilst playing a game of billiards
at Durando s saloon , I xvas advised by
Oilman , an old friend of mine , to go to
my hotel and to stay there. I under
stood him at once , paid for the unfinished
game of billiards and invested $4 in the
purchase of a bottle of brandy.
" 1 ted ! my landlord , lion , that I
thought the gang xvas aftar mo , and
cautioned him not to admit any one to
thu liouao in search of mo without first
calling mo. Nothing hupponod , hoxv-
ever , during the night.
"Early next morning I started for
Rattlesnake Station , and the first man I
stixv xvas Buck Stlnson. His gang xvas
there xvith him , having preceded mo
during the night. They xvaro standing
at the bar xvhon I on'orod the building ,
and asked mo to join thorn in a drink.
"I thanked them , and produced my
bottle of branuy , xvhich they proceed to
loosen.
[ It must bo tomomborcd that on the
preceding Fourth of July , X. had dug
the graves for both Buck Stiribon ana
Haze Lyon nt Virginia City , when the
mob took them from the regulators , and
that those mon did not entertain kindly
feelings toxvard him. ]
"Buck soon said to mo : 'You nro the
xvho dug a grave for mo onco. '
" 'Yes , ' I answered , 'and I never
charged you a darn cent for if did I ? '
at the same time putting my hand to my
little gun.
"This passed oft in a general laugh ,
and I had the best of him. They can
vassed the hanging of Ivos nnd others ,
and the doings of the vigllantos until
late in the night.
"Andy Loose Kyo ( a good citizen , xvho
happened along ) whispered into my car
that they xx'oro going lo kill mo. There
xvas only the ono largo room in the
shanty , Andy nnd 1 put our blankets
together In a corner against the w\ll :
and laid doxvn on the fioor.
"Buck Stlnaon placed u heavy table
against , the dpor to make tafo against
any sudden attack from the outside.
"I asked him : "What's the matter
with you ! What are you afraid of ? '
"He sold he didn't want any vigiluntca
to tnko them by surprise. If they did ,
ho would mnko it hot for mo.
"Throe times during the night Buck
nnd Ilnzu got up stealthily. 1 did the
same nnd laid doxvn again When they
did. Finally Buck inked : 'You d d
hound , haven't you boon asleep yet ? '
' 'I told him : 'Oh , yes , I have slept
plenty. ' There Is no doubt that nothing
but my vigllauco saved my lifo on that
night. They dared not shoot at mo
xvhilo my eyes xvoro open , for they xx'ull
knoxv that some ono else xvns likely to
got hurt besides mo. The neluul fnr.t is
that I did not close my oycs at all during
the entire night.
"In tbo morning I told them that I
would remain as I xvas too tired to go on.
They then left.
"As soon as they xvoro xvoll out of sight
Looso-Eyo Jim and I saddled up and
started for Virginia City by xv.iy of Hob
Dempsoy's range on Stinking Wntor.
"Wo soon mot a party of eight hordo-
mon. The foremost hailed mo from a
distance xvith the ominous command :
"Throw up your hands , X. ; xvo have got
you at last1' !
"I throxvcd 'em , vou bet I did ! I
thought at first thatlfiey xvcro Buck nnd
his party , but soon discovered that they
xvoro friends trying to play a practical
joke on mo. Wo shook hands all around
and xvould have taken a drink together ,
but the whisky xvas frozen In the bottles.
"Thoy xvcro in search of Ernstus
Ynogdr , knoxvn as 'Rcddy , ' xvhom xvo
soon after found close by and took to
Dempboy's. Hero xvo found and arrested
George Broxvn , xvho xvas knoxvn as the
literary chap of the Plummur gang.
"On the next day xvo took the txvo
prisoner's to Lorraine's place , xvhoro xvo
gave thorn the usual trial and hung them
at sundoxvn. They confessed many of
their crimes and 'Hcddy' gave mo much
valuable information , xvhilo Broxvn xvae
sulky and died coxvardly.
"I" reached Virginia City on the fol-
loxving morning and reported tno approach
preach of the train , xvhich gladdened
the hearts of the boys. Buck IIuzo and
the rest of the gang xx-o hunted doxvn
during the xveok. While the former
was having the crncicor box kiuiced from
under him Haze said cheerfully : 'Good
bye , pard ; I will bo xvith you in h I in
about five minutes. ' "
A 110 Vr WOMEX.
Women nro employed as hodcnrriors in
Austria nnd got 20 cents per day for it.
The xvhlto unlr of a sox-cnty-yosxr-old Sara
toga xvomnn has recently turned black , Its
original color.
Kose EytliifO , the actress , is said to bo In
extreme xvant , witnout n dollar of money or
foot of real estate. She resides in VVcst
Thirtieth street. Noxv York.
Oin of the hardest sitters in a street car ,
xvhon a hello and nor hull pup entered n few
days ago , xvas n cynic and said : "A xvoman
xvho is able to nurse a txventy-pouud dog as
hot a day as tnis is botterqii lo to stand than
1 am. "
Dashaxvay Thu * . xvns a beautiful dross
Mrs. Wiokstaff xvoro the ether night. Bingo
Yes , and I was in just , SlUl ) by her xvearlng
U. "Hoxvsol" "Oh , my wife xvantcd ono
the sarao pattern , until she saxv that Mrs.
WioUstan" hud It : nnd then she discovered it
xvas very common. "
The xvifo of Dr. McCosh xvill bo honored by
having her naniu berne by the intlrmarv
building soon to bo erected at Princeton col
lege. She Is said to have greatly endcarod
herself to the students by the many little at
tentions xvhich she has bcstox\-ed upon such
of them as have been taltensiuk at Princeton.
Sara Bcrnhadt has had n tomb nmilo for
hcr. elf and goes out every noxv and then
reverentially to lay iloxvers upon It. Most
of the ether Kirls In Sar.i's profession , hoover \ \ ' -
ever , nro still sticking to the time-trod cus
tom of pi viiiR their lloxvers to the ushur und
letting him reverentially pass them over the
footlights.
Jefferson county , Montana , has n curiosity
In thu shapu of u mine , owned and opuialcd
by a xvonian , Mrs. Mary llobinson. She is
scventy-thrco ye.irs of upro and has d6no all
the xvork In developing the property norbelf ,
carrying out the ere and xvasto upon her
back. Shu has boon doing this steady for
txvo years.
Mrs. Thomas C. Platt xvlll sail for .Europe
this month. Mrs. Platt coes abroad for her
health , and she will tnlto her photographic
camera xvith her. She Is nn indefatigable
enthusiast in this line , and has a x'aluablo
collection of pictures xvhich she has taken in
her travels through the United States. They
includo'phaso3 nf homely lifo In the south and
the xvcst , and are particularly interesting because -
cause of their very special characttr.
The xvomen of Washington xvbo form the
Spinner Memorial association nro vigorously
prosecuting their search for funds to erect u
monument to the Into treasurer. General
Spinner's ' famous signature adorned many n
piece of valuable paper , but none so much as
it did the order admitting xvomon to work In
the treasury department. Thoxvomen appre
ciate this fact and the erection of tbo monument
ment xvlll testify to their gratitude.
The flrst-out-of-rtoor gymnasium for xvo-
men In this country xvas recently opened in
Cambridge under the management of the
Massachusetts Emergency and Hygiene as
sociation , of xvhich Kato Gannett WoUs Is
president. The gymnasium Is free to xvhom-
soovor presents her name , an. I Is opan on nil
pleasant days except Sundays. A city ordin
ance proviuos for the arrost'of persons loiter
ing about thu promises , nnd thu matrons have
boon Invested xvith police authority ,
This Is the romodvyour great grandmother
used eftlcaclously for a sunburned face xvhun
she xvas a girl like you : Tnku u piece of
clear Rum arable about the size of a filbert
nnd molt it In n xvincglnss full of boiling
xvutor , softened xvith n slight pinch of carbonate -
bonato of soda. Molt a plcco of camphor the
size of n pea In n tcaspoonful of cau do col
ogne , and add this to thu boiling xvntor xvith
a tonspoonful of glycerine. Shako the mix
ture for txveuty minutes. Dab on the fuco
xvith a soft cloth every night before you go to
sleep.
A young xvomnn In Paris claims to bo the
daughter of the ex-Empress Eugonlo and
says that portions of her body are adorned
xvtth nn imperial croxvu and a variety of
'
other emblems , When Informed of 'tbo
xvoman's claims tno ox-empress said : "Thero
nro nt Icnst thirty xvomon In Franco laboring
under u hallucination , xvho claim mo as their
mother. You nro nxvnro that In the coed
days of the oinplro zealots consecrated their
children to Napoloon. In seine families the
arm or the log of a child wns tattooed after
birth xvith the Imperial cnglo. It must bo so
xvith the lady to xvhom you alludo. "
Circulation.
"Wo understand , " says the Arizona
Kicker , "that Hank Curtis Is tolling
everybody in town that xvo tried to murder -
dor him the ether day because ho re
fused to ronoxv his subscription to the
Kickor. There may bo a foxv poonlo in
town xvho don't knoxr that Hank is the
greatest liar in Arizona , and for their
benefit xvoxvill give our side of the story.
Wo mot Hank on Apache avenue and
told him that his subscription had ex
pired. IIo claimed to bo BO hard up that
lie could not ronoxv. Wo advised him
to take less whisky aud moro Kicker and
lie received It in a laughing , good na-
hired xvay. Wo have a habit when talk *
ing xvith a man on the street of putting
our hands on his shoulders and pushing
him backwards. It simply arises
from our earnestness nnd is gen
erally understood that way. Hank
however , pretended that ho thought xvo
xvoro going to aesadlt him and ho
reached for his gun. Before ho could
got it xvo had him covered , and he gave
us a dollar to ronoxv hla subscription ant )
bogged our pardon for being so hasty.
That's all there was to It , and ho is very
silly to go around lying about the matter -
tor , " *
JT'Zi.l XT A TI UtIjO t'J. HOXd.
n * II Vwcher ( n Trt < v > mi Globs.
O mer honey , mor lee !
Fresher dnn do doxv.
Laylu' bright on do blue maxvnln-glory ,
O mor bonov , mer lee I
Ain't ' I tolo It unto you ,
Dat shoogar-sxveot , true love story I '
Den I toll you crglb ,
En hit ain't no sin ,
Kaso why , mor Alabama poesy I
Do good Laxvd , ho 'loxv ,
Dat love , nnyhoxx" ,
Uxvlnter sbmo ever bright nnd rosey.
Dnr'.s good ole sxx-cothnm ,
An' young nn' tender l.un' ,
Mek n nlggnh's lips ] lm crlnng josey ;
Hut do 'possum xvldelo yam ,
Aln' no slcher ba'm.
Es do love of mor Alabamor poosy. .
A VlVSTKlt OF * MtrK < t.
Iillornry 1'iltsliiirjj.
Detroit Free Press : f A young man from
Pittsburg xvns recently visiting his host girl
IP Detroit und she Introduced him to seine of
her literary friends here , as s > ho has a loan
ing that xvay , but sno xvill not do so anymore
moro , nor xvlll ho ever coino hack again.
And It xvas such n very little thing that
"did It , too.
She had Introduced him to the prosldontoss
of her club and that ladv remarked to him :
"Ah , you are from Pittsburgf I under
stand you hnvo a Broxvnln club thore. "
"No , " ho replied , hesitatingly , as If not
qulto comprehending ; "no , but xvo did have
before the Cincinnati League hogged Pete
nnd put him In loft tlola for the Ham
burgers. "
Not Quito Kill ) .
Buffalo Express : Ho hud boon out very
late nnd , as hu rolled Into bed , his xvlfo began
to give him a curti'in lecture. Ho turned his
bnk nnd , in the lull xvhich followed , man-
ngod to eel a xvord In.
"Marvl"
"What ! "
"It's a mighty moan xvoman xvho xx'ould
talk behind a man's back. "
John scored a point and slept peacofullv
the rest of the night.
AVIiy Johnny Didn't Graduate.
Somervllle Journal : "Doflno millennium ,
Johnny J" said the tired school toucher , In the
last half of tbo closing hour of the last day
of school.
' The millennium , " said Johnny promptly ,
"is the time xvhon It xvill bs vacation alt the
year , nnd there won't bo any old school
teachers around to ask little bovs fool ques
tions. "
A Itulc That Worka Hoth Ways.
Drake's Magazine ,
The man xvho can nlxvays pay his xvny
Is In that condition because discreet ,
And always anxious to xvelgh his pax' ,
Lest some of the coin bo counterfeit.
An Incident in House Keeping.
The young husband ( thoughtfully ) "If 1
am going to keep this1 garden in nny sort of
condition I must got lome hose. "
The young xvlfo ( brightly and xvith n vloxv
to economy ) "Oh , don't g'o to that expense ,
Henrr. I have nn old pair upstairs that you
can havo. "
Ho KcKrctted It.
Epoch : Hunker You missed a heated ar
gument by not coming to the boarding house
for dinner today.
SpattsI'm sorry I xvasn't there then. It
xvould bo a great novelty to hax'e something
xvnrm at Mrs. Small's tablo.
All Jlrokc Up.
Washington Post : "I dou't kiioxV xvhat I
xvill do,1 said a south Washlbgton xvoman.
"Family trouble ! " asktd her neighbor
from the next porch.
"That's , vhnt it is. It all came of his
keepln' out of nights.
"I can sympathize xvith y > Ju. "
"Well , I don't know whether you can or
not. You see , about three xveolcs ngo ho
started out , promising to bo back by hnlf
pasts. Ho didn't rome back till 10 , nnd ns
soon as I saw him I knoiVthero | xvas some
thing the matter xvith hiraj" .
"Intoxicated , Isupposoi"1
"No , Indeed. He'd got Into the society of
some of these temperance pioplo and signed
the pludso. o\v that bo's done It of courao
he's got to stick to It. First his digestion ,
nnd tnon his nerves give xvay , an' noxv there
ain't any livlu' xvith him , much loss coolcln1
for him. I declare , " she sald xvith an ox-
pioslon of woo , "I never heard ( of a husband
yet that xvas lit to bo trusted axvay from
homo a hnlf hour at a timo. ' )
Trilling > istindctititnndln ; ; .
Germnntoxvn Telegraph j1 "Major , " said
ono of Mr. McIUnloy's acquaintances , "I
suppose x'ou are frequently j.old that you resemble -
somblo Napoleon , "
"Yes , but It is baio Ilattery. "
' 'O , I don't think It Matters you so very
much. "
"Excuse mo , sir ; I did not say It flattered
mo ! "and the major xvalkod uxvay , sorely
xvounded in his prido.
Not Vou , Hoxvovor.
"Ho jests nt scars , " tno poet says ,
"Who never felt a stinging xvound. "
Ho snonrs at sea-sickness , the man
Who never longed forsolld ground.
The Sum nntl Bul.taneo of It.
Noxv York Telegram : Inventor ( xvnrmly )
You needn't bo stuck up over vour xvoalth.
I have just as much to the dollar as you
havo.
Capitalist Then , xvhy da you xvant mo to
go Into the schomol
Inventor Simply because I haven't ns
many dollars ns you havo.
Willing to Take Anything.
Wnshlngton Post : She xvas Kind-hcartod
but not practical , and xvhon the man applied
nt her door for assistance , said xvith earnest
ness ; "Tnko heart , my dear felloxv , take
heart. "
Drnxvlng himself up to n helghth that
seemed to endanger the stitching In some of
his patches , ho said : "Madamlts no time
fur jokin' . My appearance ort to bo nun *
tor tell yer that I'm pulllckly xvilling tor
take heart , liver , or any thing else that
comes handy , "
An Historical Fnot.
Knto Field's Washington : She Plutnreh
speaks of the favorite beverage of thu Seven
Wise Men. What was 111.
Ho Sago ten.
No PlIoH on George.
She ( at the baseball game ) But do toll mo ,
George , xvhnt does that man xvcur a mask
over his face for ! George To keep the lllos
01Tl _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
KHpcoially with Iloth Arum Full.
Union Cotintv Standard : The married man
is making fairly good progress when ho Is
able to hold his oxvn.
HlH ToothliriiHli.
Yankee Blade : Paterfamilias ( angrily )
Where's mv toothbrush )
Matorfnmlllus Susie is cleaning the silver
with It. She'll bo through In a minute.
Short , Hli6t ,
A man once In politics xvill not go out until
ho is lot out.
Cholllo : Oh , It xvas voxvy exciting ! I
qulta lost tno head. Kitty Klaxvs ; And did
you miss It }
Passing around the hat U ono xvny of pot
ting the cents of the meeting.
There Is alxvays u moral influence asso
ciated xvith a piano. If It Isn't ' upright It Is
square.
When the poet xvroto "I'll hie mo to thy
bower , love , " ho must have imagined ho xvns
pluy Ing euchre xvith bli best' girl , nud belli
the "Joker. "
A sad blunder occurred ; It ) a southern Illi
nois paper not long ago , A brief resume of
the. xvork of the state legislature xvas by mistake -
take headed "Tho lllinol * Htuol Works. "
A cook as wull as a ship bus to stem cur
rents occasionally ,
Wo uppoo Klobowa ' ralulne In her
day.
day.The
The chimney is one of tbo few smooker *
that U easily sooted.
f The valubullo with a cfioeic like the red
side of a luscious poach Is devoted to
haughty culture.
An actress nnnouncos that she xvlll have n
noxv play called "A Mile n Mlnuto. " It
ought to bo a go.
The girl xvith an nffeetlon for a tall gentle
man hasn't ' the slightest hesitation about
draxvlng a long boxx %
Although thu ballot girl trust xvas not con
spicuous In the financial world , It had some
very lively oaro movements.
nuits.
Cape Cod Item.
On the mountain side , by the sounding sen ,
Wherever Indeed she's mot. *
The summer girl Is a symphony ,
A poem to music sot.
So the pools sny , and perlnp ? they're right ,
For she's snrolv a vision sxx-oot
In her Huffy garments so soft and xvhlto
And her russets small and neat.
But although n symphony she may
To the ardent poet seem ,
It must bo confessed that she cots nxvny
With u pile of straxvborry cream.
The girl xvllo hasn't n dinner-plate hat to
travel In Isn't in It this .season ; and the girl
xvho has a dlnnor-plato hat isn't in It cither.
It isn't deep enough for that.
"Why , Cousin Jenny , " said Cantata Jinks ,
"xvhnt n beautiful coinuloxipn you have ! You
are ttio hello of the dance tonieht , " "Yes ,
Tom , I agreed to furnish the poxx'der If papa
xx'ould provide the ball. My partners must
furnish the arms. " "O , I see , and you ex
pect to bring on an engagement. "
The very nicest souvenir for the summer
girl Is a rose jar filled xvith the petals of the
nosegays you hnx-o worn. Take the leax-os
from the roses , spread thoni upon a platter
xvith alternate layers of table salt , turning
them over two or throe times a dav for n
xvcclt.
A pluclty nnd independent girl is Miss
Eli/aboth Moore of Edgcxvorth , Pa. With
her own hands she recently built a neat little
cottage , laying the foundations , plastering
the xx'alls of the different rooms nnd perform
ing all the carpenter xx-ork ton builder's ' tasto.
To do this she found It necessary to don male
attire , and a younger L'lrl friend helped her
over the hardest part of the xx-ork. Miss
Moore is said to bo as pretty as she Is ener
getic.
A Tunisian girl has no chance of marriage
unless she tips the scales nt 200 pounds , and
to that end she commences to fatten xvheu
she is fifteen years old. ,
Mabel Every nlilit you look lor a man
under the bed. Noxv xvhat xvould you do
If you xvcro to Hud ono there some night ?
Sue Point my pistol at him - Mabel
You xvouldn't'shooU. Sue No ; I'd ' pro
pose.
pose.Dolly ( the ingenious ) O girls ! " Chorus
of beauties YC3. , Dolly Come up to my
room. I've been burning cigarette } hero for
an hour , and we'll have n splendid time
thinking there has been a man around. "
Mamie's father bad been planning to take
the family to the seashore for the llrst sea
son. Hu had been getting some initiation
into the details as to xvardrobo , nnd xvas
heard to remark : "I xvish I hadn't said so
much about be. in' short. " "Whvf" Inquired
his wife. "Because I'm afraid it's been
lo.ulin' the gal to some lootlo extremes In
economy In her bathin' suit and ballroom
dresses. "
iitiVSEUoi.it jtiyti on iJGitnoits.
A. Summer Komp.
Summer roses , rod nnd xvhito ,
Make the gardens gay ;
Noxv the skies are blue and bright ,
See us in the hay !
Ethel , Dorothy and Bell ,
Harry , Jommie , George as xvell.
Llttlo-Maryj-too , xvo bring ,
She must shnru the fun.
floxv xvo laugh and romp and sing ,
Iloxv xvo climb nnd run I
Hldo-and-seelc xvo love to play ,
All among the straxv aud hay.
Bell and Jemmio both belong
To a great big town ;
Country life xvill make them strong ,
Sunburnt , hoalthx" , broxvn.
While they're staying hero , , xou see ,
All of us from school uro free.
Ono HCMNOII.
Chicago Noxvs : A boy > x-as asked xvhich
xvas the greater evil , hurting another's feel
ings or his linger.
' The feollnps , " ho said.
"Uight , my dear child , " said the gratified
questioner. "But xvhy Is It xvorso to hurt the
feelings ) "
"Because you can't tie a rag around them. "
A. rorrcotcd Prayer.
A little girl takes a great delight in de
ciphering xvith her mother the display typo in
various uoxvsp.tper adx'ortlsomonts. Alter
they had been through the nexvspapers
night or txvo ago , the little ono xvas put to
bed , but llrst Knelt doxvn at mamma's linoo to
say her prayers. She startled her mother
xvith thu folloxvlng innovation on the Lord's
prnyer : "Lord , mnko mo pure. " Then she
hesitated , but continued a moment later xvith
added fervor : ' 'Make mo absolutely pure ,
like baking poxvder. "
lint Then You See.
H'anhlnuton I'ust.
She never tnllts of dross at nil ;
She never stops fortaliclng
Upon the street or In the hall
Where busy men are xvalklng.
Her books nro nlxvays purchased by
Her prim and thoughtful mother ,
And not a man attnets her eye
Moro than her older brother.
She speaks in serious esteem
Of Sunday school and heaven ;
But then , you sec , this guileless dream
Is not yet more than seven.
XX hut WIIH It.
Washington Star : Johnny Say , mamma ,
hoxv many colors nro there ) ,
Mother Seven ; red , orange , .volloxx'.Brocn ,
blue. Indigo and violet.
Jonnny Is that all )
Mother Co rtalnlj' .
Johnny Well , mamma , xvhnt color is n lit-
tleoff color , the lady sold papa xvas when ho
came homo the ether night \
Go It
Philadelphia Press : Mount Holly has ono
of those threo-your-old hopefuls xvno bob up
so serenely to bother xviso heads. This one's '
father xvns administering a stern robuUo , and
nt length said :
"What xvould become of you If papa xvas to
dlo and bo put in the ground ) "
The youngster gazed thoughtfully out of i
the xvlndoxv for a moment , aud then sagely
remarked :
"I guess mum ma xvould got married again ,
and I'd have a noxv papa. "
< V Ilopel'iil Vloxv.
Detroit Free Press : "Well , pa , I don't see
but xvhnt I behave about as xvell as you do ,
after nil , " snld a Detroit youngstur of ten
years , xvho had been ropro\ea for interrupt
ing conversation.
"But I hope you'll bo a much better man
than your father. "
"Well , I should hope so too , " replied young
hopeful , _
Cont-HliuddliiK Time.
Good Nexvs : Little Dot Mamma , please
give mo a xvholo lot of moth paper.
Mamma What for )
Little Dot To pack my kitty axvay. Her
fur U nil coinln' off.
Hnll'Mndo and Homo Mudo.
Boston Courier : Johnny Sav , Undo
George , God didn't rnauo everything , did lie )
Uncle Georpe Guess ho did , Johnny.
Johnny Don't see hoxv that can bo , 'causu
SU's beau xvas here last night and 1 board
Sis sny ho made himself at home ,
A Xcxv Illuml Term
Joxvelor ' Weekly : Tommy ( aged four )
Ga'raa , I tan't ' see free your spues ,
Grandma Why , Tommy !
Tommy It makes my looker feel wigrlcy ,
i'H nfii Miiull hlld.
Munsoy's Weekly : Grandmamma You
seem very lolumu this morning , Johnny
xvnnt's tbo matter )
Johnny I'm la trouble , grandma. Jennie
Jnclcion snys I'vo trilled xvith her nffcctloin ,
nnd she's going to Imvo mo arrested If I don't
marry her , ntid the fact Is 1 love another girl.
A Solcinu Itaoo.
Detroit Free Press : Farmer GlUon raino
doxvn from tin country the other day and
brought his boy along to lot ! dm see thu
sights ,
"Paxx1 , " said the lad , nma/od at seeing
lieawo horses trot , "that ain't n funer'l ' , 1 <
Itl"
"Yes'tis ; these city folks hov to hurry
like sixty to get a man burled "fore the
mourners fururlt Mm. "
KldloiH.
Near Latnar. Col. , n little plrl of four years
xx-ntidored to the platform of an express train
and xvas bloxvn off xvhilo the train \\-ns run
ning nt the rate of thirty miles an hour. A
locomotive xx-as sent back nnd the senrohcrs
found thorhtld ut midnight , sitting unhurt in
a clump of xx'ecds nnd keeping very still for
fear the Indians xvould got her.
Bright little girl in n toy store , tugging at
her mother's skirt : "Una I hax-o n micro
scope ! " The mother xvantod to Um5w xxhnt
for , and xx-as told xvith outbuiiasm : "I'd lox-o
to see my oxvn pora- ! "
Inspector of school Noxx' , children , xvhat
can birds do tunt xvo cannot ! expecting , of
course , that thov xvlll sny "Ilv , " but they do
not. Ono bright lad puts up his hand and
says , "Please , sir , lay eggs. "
A lesson In llrook nivtholoy xx-as going on
when u little maid nf thirteen Inquired : "O ,
if you please , AIlss K , xvoro Ihoso go.ls
nm ) goddesses married , or only engaged ! "
Mrs. Nowmothcr My baby Is Just the
dearest , sxvoutcst , cunnlngoit , simrtojt ,
brightest , best , quietest , neatest , darllngost ,
lovt'liost , host natured , healthiest , prettiest ,
baby In nil the xvorld. Chorus of'a million or
more So'a mine.
&OTJRS.
Chicago Is to have
a txvonty-four-story
steel building.
A Detroit manufactuiing firm xvlll make
steel xviigou xvheels , xvith hollow felloes and
spoiccs.
The A read o file xvorlts of Sing Sing , N. Y. ,
have signed n contract to transfer their oper
ations to Audorbon , Ind.
The Wrought Iron bridge company of
Canton , O. , has been awarded the contract
for erecting a bridge at Great Falls , Mont. ,
lor fcir , OJO.
Operations on the buildings and furnneos
of the Damascus steel xx'orlcs , to be erected a\
Denver , Colo. , nro to bo commenced ns soon
as a ilto is decided upon.
John W. Bookxvalter of Ohio , the art con
noisseur and politician , has spent a great
deal of money experimenting1 in Hying ma
chines. Ho believes such a machine as among
the possibilities.
The Tacoma ( Wash. ) chamber of com
merce has appointed n committee to investi
gate the iron resources of that state , xvith a
vloxv to building a blast furnace sht'ild the
investigation develop suitable deposits of
ore.
ore.Tho
The Mihvaukco and Wauxvatosa motor line
railroad has awarded the contract for build-
Intr a contract abouttxvo thousand three hun
dred feet long to Keepers & Wynkoop of
Milwaukee , WIs. , for $7(1 ( , gGi ) . The xvont Is
to bo completed by Nox'erabcr 1 next.
A noxv maiuifar.turing suburb has boon
started near the borough of Elizabeth , Pa. ,
and has been named Blainn. The American
vault , safe and look company of Chicago ,
xvhich has boon mentioned before in these
columns , xvlll establish Its works in the now
toxvn.
The Mexican Financier Is authority for tbo
statement that the Rhode Island Locomotive
xvortts nro building six ton-wbeelers for the
Mexican Central , compounded on the John-
stone principle. The Mexican Central has
onoof thoJohnstono coniuounds noxv in ser
vice , and xvill changes'- Its engines to the
same system as rapidly as possible ,
A good sized order for the celebrated
Mnthoson patent joint pipe , xvhioh xnlL so to
the Sandxvich Islands , xvas received bv the
American Tube and Iron company , nt Middle-
toxvn , Pa. , hist xvoelc. The demand for this
pipe Is Increasing greatly , nnd the company
is shipping largo quantities of it to the Pa
cific coast and northeast und southeast points.
Tno Michigan Uailxvay Supply company of
Dotroit.oxving to thu growth of their business ,
are building a largo additional factory 7 , " > xiOO :
feat at the Michigan Central junction. The
building is of brick and their facilities and
machinery give thorn a capacity of"JOJO
brake beams per day. Last year , wo are
told , their sales amounted to $ , 'IO'J,000 ' ; the
year before sales amounted to 3U,00'J. ,
A Guiiuiiio l''Iyt > r.
A remarkable run , not only in regard to
time made , but particularly in rospout to the
evenness of the speed , was made bv the Noxv
York Central limited , xvhich loft Now York
for Buffalo at 12 :0t : p. m. , Juno 22 , says the
Hallxvav Hoviow. The run ox'er iho Hudson
river division , 143 miles , xvns ma.lo In ! i
hours and C5 minutes , an average of
4 ! ) miles per hour. The train xvas
detained live mhiutOi at Albany for the
draxvbridgo. The run from Albany lo Syra
cuse , 157 miles , xvas made in 2 hours and
S9 minutes , an average of l'J.1 miles per
hour , while the distance from Syracuse
to Buffalo , 150 miles , xvas accomplished
in 8 hours nnd 57 minutes , or nt
the rule o ( 50.8 miles per hour ,
mnUlng the total run from Nuxv
York to Buffalo , including the Hvo mtniitu
stop at Albany , 8 hour. ) and 57
minutes , or , xvith the stop deducted , at the
rate of19.7 inilns per hour. It is doubtful if
in all respects this run has ever been sur
passed.
Huv. P. F. McCarthy of Oinahi xvns n pas
senger on this train , xvhich left the depot. . In
Noxv York city txvo hours nnd four minutes
late nnd made up nil but txvonty-throo minutes
"
utes In running the distance to" Buffalo , -15J
miles. A speed of blxty-elght miles per
hour xvas frequently attained botxvoon stop
ping points.
AI.J3 YOU A DlnAllljI.D SOLDIKU ?
Vou arc KM titled to a Pension nnd
Should Get It.
Ninety days Is not a long time to servo in
the army. Nevertheless , n man xvho has
served ninety days and who has been honor
ably d ischnrged , If ho suffers from physical
disability xvhich renders him unable to sup
port htmselt , IB entitled to u pension ,
There Is not one soldier in throe xvho is entitled -
titled to thin relief xvho is nxvuro of the ox-
Is tinico of the Inxv xvhich xvas passed for his
bcnollt. This Is doing Injustice to himself
and to his people.
A man xvho has served ninety days either
in the military or naval borvlcuot the U. ted
States , ( luring the late xvar xvho has lieeu
honoinoly discharged and xvho can inalio
proof of the fact that ho Is physically in
capacitated from supporting himself is en
titled to receive a pension nf not more than
12 nnd not leis than $ < ) per month ,
The pension shall commence from the unto
of the Illlng of the application. It Is not re
quired to prove that the soldier's incapacity
is the outgroxvth of injuries sustained in the
xvar. It must bo shown simply that It is not
the result of vicious conduct.
Every soldier and sailor xvho Is entitled to
this pension should move immediately to secure -
cure it. Ho can and should do thU with Tin ;
Biu : BUIIKXU OPCUIXIH. This Is the cheap
est and best moans of having your claims
against the gox'urnmont collected. All you
havj to do Is to send fl to TDK Hr.i : BUKKXU
oi'Ci.Ai.MH in Omahaas a condition precedent.
That entitles you to a subscription for ono
year to TUB WKKKI.Y Bun and to member
ship in TIIK Hue's CIAIM HUIIUAU ASSOCIA
TION.
In order to mow fully roaltzo xvhat you are
entitled to , xvrlto to
MAN 101:11 : OMAHA. BUK HUHKAU or CLAIMS ,
Omaha , Nob.
Elaine KHsnn , xxlio xxlll ho rcmcmhoicdas
the pretty chorus pin in Dlxoy's "S-won
Ages , " has fallen hulr to a line tula u in Kn-
land. John W. Norton of St. Louis xv. < s the
llrsl man to give MUs ElUon her llr > t opnor-
t unity to show xvhnt Mio could do on thu
stage. Under the direction of * Poh a mon'or
Miss Kllson made nt | Id progress She tnml
her powers , xvith Mr Norton as her udvitar ,
In Lojilsvlllu und played 1'iulo , Parlhcnla in
"JiiKOinar" nnd Kvuduo , uni ) xvith satisfacto
ry results U xvas after Ibis uho joined Dix-
oy. Though she lias como In for u fortune ,
her love for the ktagd ls uch that the will
coutluuo iu the profwilou.
IMHl'X II V TltK I,11K.
"Aro you engaged I" Ho xvhlspcred loxx' ,
And loxv tho'snd sea brce/os
Wont sighing throuish the stilly night ,
And through the h-.ivy tresses.
"Aro you ongnire'dl" lie xvhlspored loxv ,
And loxv tlio xvhlte capped ulllows ,
Cnmo drumming In upon the beach ,
Green frlngtjiPwilh drooping xvllloxvs.
"Aro you engaged ! " IIo xvhlsperod lo.v ,
And low the night blrdi xvliiglug
Their silent course * through the sky ,
Brought distant notes of singing.
"Aro ' " -IIo xvlilsiwred ln\v
you onungi'dl"IIo \ ,
"No , no , " shu said , nnd tarilod
A moment , xvhilo he kissed hur hand ,
"No , no , " she said , "I'm married. "
S 'I O It IKS .Ut ( > I , T .71 .V .V.
Some years ago , said Cliaunooy Dcpoxv In
lecture In Baltimore , xvhllu looking nt the
clod : at Strasbnrg , I notlml a largo party of
American tourists making the rounds of that
celebrated ancient ulty. I xvns told by ono of
them that tvhllo most of iho visitors hugely
enjoyed tliu4rlp , there xvas , by xvay of con
trast , ono among them xvhom nothing xxon-
derful In nature or art could teach
The landscape had no chariiH for him ; tha
Alps did not lirpnus him ; the bounties of
Paris nmt Vienna did notox'oko his emtaoies.
Nothing that ho saw had the slightest olToct
ofilnuvlnir out the least expiosslon of ad
miration. Weeks and weeks puHSod , and tha
rest of the party xvoro dunifoundud at his
luck of appreciation of.tho sights xvhich met
them on all sides.
Finally It XXMS derided to send n commit
tee of four , two cunllemun and two Indies , to
his room and Inquire xvhat It xx'ns prevented
his enjoyment of the trip.
"Old man , " said ono of the committee ,
"tell us xvhat is the matter , If nny one In
thu piu tv has displeased you xvo shall dis
miss him , If anv xvrong luu been donu you ,
xvu shall see that It Is remedied , but do toll
xvhut the trouble Is , for xvo nro trying hard
to please you. "
"Well , " said the unapprcclatlvo tourist ,
"I do not euro to sny mix-thing about my
trouble. I xvnnteil to keep It , to myself , but
as you have asked n.o I may us xvoll out with
It. The matter Is Just this : Tt.ls Is my
xvudding trip thu llr.st wedding trif. I over
made nnd I am so blamed poor that I did not
hax'o money enough to take my xvlfo xvilh
me. "
*
A man stood In the doorxx'ny of a Chicago
saloon , says the Tribune , xvhpn a stranger
stopped and wiped his perspiring forehead
xvitli his elboxv , observed that It was hot und
lidded :
"Suppose that n man should como Into
your pluco on n day Hku this and" -
"What sort of a man ! " Interrupted the
other.
"Wny , an hoaost , respectable man , about
forty voars old , xvho"
"With money in his pocnoti"
' Suppose , sir , that an honest , rcspcctablo
man , about forty years old , should como into
your" -
"Sayl old man ! " Interrupted the other ,
xvith much spirit , "don't you try It on I I'm
the bouncer fur this place and I'd have to use
you nxvf nl rough I"
The honest , respectable mini looked the
bouncer o\rcr , xvlpud his forehead xvith Ills
other elbow and snld , us ho started oil :
"Mighty funny that , a man can't begin to
talk In his town xvlthout some one choking
him oil aud calling him a bilk ! "
V
Ono of the best story-tellers Is Lionel
Brough , the English comedian , says thu Nexv
York Telegram. Ho xvlll toll stories and.
yarns by the day , the supply being seemingly
inexhaustible. His hearty laugh nnd Jolly
face strongly emphasize his storips. Ot'o ot
his "regulars" is the tale about the triplets .
It xvus at a xvell known bar. Junes and
three friends xx-oro liquidating , when a mes
senger rushed in and , taking Jbuos by the
hand , exclaimed :
"My congratulations. Your xvlfo has pre
sented you xvith a bouncing boy. "
"Let's drink to the health nf the little
stranger I" shouted the delighted Jones.
They drunk. Half an hour later the mcs
sengcr returned , but xvith less exuberance
than on his previous jipiicnrnnco.
"Well ) " exclaimed the anxious Jones.
"It's another boy I"
"Lot's ' drink to the txvln ? 1" shouted Jones ,
n sickly smile illuminating his features.
Again they imbibed. Another thirty min
utes , and tor the third time the messenger
matlo his appearance , but ho knoxv CMiouu-h.
to stick only his head into the door and ex
claim ;
"It'sn girl ! "
"An ashy pallor overspreading Jones faeo >
ho gasped :
"Boys , no drinks this time. It's getting
too serious. I'm going homo to stop this
business. " And ho belted.
#
Captain Kennedy , xvho has boon a capltol
guide at Washington , D. C. , for a number of
years , says the San Francisco Cull , sat la tho-
Palace yosterdav and discussed the interest
ing features of Iho great seat of the federal
government.
"Thu last time I saxv Senator Hearst , " said
hu , " 1 xvns explaining the triozo to n party of
slghtseoi-s , and just as I reached that portion
ri'pro.scnting thu discovery of gold the old
senator passed xvith Congressman Clunio.
A funny idea occurred to mo at that moment ,
and I said in a loxv tone : 'Ladlos und gen
tlemen , that picture represents Senator
George Hearst in the uut of discovering gold
In California In 18 t'J. ' The younger and moro
hnndsoiiU ) gentleman xvho stands next him
Is Thomas Jackson Clunio , now in congress
from his native state. By the xx'ay , there Is
the senator passing , and Congressman Clunio
is noxv xvith Him , as ho xvas at the time of the
gold discovery. ' A fcxv minutes later the
old senator returned and slipped u $ JO pleua
Into my hand ,
" 'II Is all right tilts time , my boy,1 ho
said 'but ' don't ' glx'o
good naturocly , anyone
else that story In future. " "
It Is the unexpected that generally happens
In the xvcst , where oven the trained Chicago
newspaper man partakes somowhnt of the
vagrant and fragrant air ho breathe.Anil
xvhon you come to the rural correspondent I
But the Chicago Post is telling this stcry :
"At another time I failed to get the best of
a correspondent , " the miniat'lng editor con
tinued. "Nuxvs xvns scarcoand the prospects
for gutting out nn Interesting paper In the
morning won : poor Indeed , xvhcu from a
Hinuil hut prosperous and supposedly pious
little Illinois toxvn came the dispatch :
" 'Fifty of our best citizens arrested to
night for playing poker.1
"In a JilTy ! xvlred the correspondent :
" 'Kusli details nnd all the immiw.1
"While axvnltlng the story my spirits rose
ns I pictured the otToot of thu bucolic sensa
tion on the flrst page. The prospects of a dry
pnper were just about disappearing ns I
thought of hoxv Interesting thu story xvould
1)0 ( II ( ty prominent citizens In a small toxvu
like - , you knoxv , means pretty much the
xvholo toxvn ) , when there came on the wire ,
not the correspondent's story , but his reply
to my order :
"I am no - fool. I expect to live In this
toxvn for several years. " "
Edison's accomplishments are not nil In the
electric line. He can tell u good story cap
itally. Ho told one tlio other day about uu
oxporlenciiho hud recently In an , up-country
toxvn in Pennsylvania ono Sunday morning.
lid had been out to see some Iron works. A
cold ruin xvas fulling and ho got soukeil
through. When bo roauhod his hotel the
llrst thing hu did xx'as to order a hot Scotch ,
"Can't give it to you , " sanl the olork ,
"Eli ! Cun't clvo It to mol Why not ! "
"Hocniiso It's Sunday. xVo can't soil any-
thlnir to drink on Sunday. "
"Well , but I'm xvot through , " said Edison ,
and cold. I xx-iint ix drink. "
"Well. I'll tell you xvhat xvti can do , " re
piled tlio dork ; "xvo can give you n kodak. "
"What's a uodulcl" askeit : Kdlsnn.
' You Jiist gn uu to your room auil pretj
the bui'on. ' We do thu rest. "
KilUon got lbn drink ,
'I'dIco lloiirl ,
Thu little pin that , sharply pricks ,
A moiiiiiuin , scums , of xvon ;
Tlio littlu second hand that tluki
BtemH : indolent , uml Hloxv
Hut time outlives our littlu pain
'I'liu dcrunit hand mi'vcn on ;
Au'l < 1 < ! xvn notu HH pace i.
1'iw ' xvoury hour I * ifou .