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THE OMAHA DAir/Y BEE : SUNDAY. DEOEMBEtt 14. ISOO-TITTRTY'-TWO PAaES. 9.1
The 99 Cent Store ,
1319 Farnam Street ,
3rd Door from 14th St.
H HARDY & CO.
Wholesale and Retail ,
St.ILR IT
Our assortments are completeWe can deliver promDtlv. Can sive Vdii better attention now than we can the closing' days before Xmas.
TH IS 1'IN'K
BILK I'MJSIl
Toilet Case ,
QQc
Worth . Pin-
( | ii allty
plu hlof-
It t CBirs (1.49 ( ,
Shaving Cases , 99c.
fVortli IJ.OO. Others proportionately cheap at ? ! , ( $ to
J7.M.
PLUSH
Collar Cuff
EOXES ,
50c and up.
LEATHER
Collars Cuff
SETS ,
28e up.
Plush Work Boxes ,
Furnished , 2Bc to $6.96.
Smoking
Sets
in fine silk
plush cases
49 cents
to
$4,95
A w .wjy. aarea sg gi
G AM KS-\Velmvo every desirable game nude nt prices
'roiu 10 cents to W cents.
SPELLING HOiVnn-Tho most Instinctive toy over inndo 830
It is impossible to give you
an idea from an advertise
ment of the enormous stock we
carry. We are better pre
pared to please you than any
other store in .the city , as our
stock is all newnothing trashy ,
and prices are within the reach
'of the leanest purses.
Goods selected now can be
laid away and delivered day
before Christmas if yov de
sire it.
DOLLS !
DOLLS !
We have a special sale to
morrow. 1,000 , kid body dolls
at 190 , worth 500 ; large kid
body dolls , with moving eyes ,
at 750 , worth $1.50 ; dressed
dolls way below what they are
worth today in Europe. Select
your dolls from our mammoth
stock.
Shoofly hordes 7.70. finer ones from 990 to $2.95.
Hobby horses 750 , better ones from 990 to $9.80.
Fine skin covered horses from $6.95 to $14.85.
Fine Painted Sleds 49c ; coasters
69 cents to $ J.9S ,
imsasmamxmaa Boys' Wag
ons 49c ; lar
ger ones SSc
up. All iron
wagons from
$1.98 to $3.95.
.5 m-o o
03 55
ceo c
i C3 O
Complete assortment Xmas Cards.
Prices from ic to $2.95 each.
Finest line manufactured.
Wo carry n
line assortment
silver in nil
standard makes
at prices 1 less
lixn ! : others nsk.
Sou our now
line
Children's
Cups
Knife and
Fork Sots ,
Napkin
Kings ,
Etc. Etc.
Doll buggies 490 ; good on.es at
75c , lined , with parasol top ; better
quality up to $9.80.
I H. HARDY & CO.TH JflK-i I T TTI t-e IH M. HAKDY
. . i-n 1 Urtc. . . . & CO.
TIIESENATORS FROM WYOISC
Who the Two BaWoa Are and How
They Look.
GREAT STOCK INTERESTS ,
A. Stor : ' of Ills Boyhood nnd a Clint
With Him About Ills htiUo
Tlio Farmers' Alllnnoo
and Inirnlls.
tfOO , liy Frank O. GirpemVr.l
Dec. 10.-lSpecial to TUB
DBB. ] The United States senate opens this
year with two full grown babies. These nro
tno twin senators from the now state of Wy
oming. They nro both bright fellows and
they promise ) woll. Senators Cure/ and
Wurren are of the snnio ago , both were horn
in the east , both have made money in - western
ern stock raising and both come from tbo
capital of the 11077 state , Choyenno. Senator
Carey has n good standing hero as a terri
torial delegate. IIo has served flvojears in
congress and ho is ns straight as a string and
as bright as a button , IIo has studied tno
machinery of congressional legislation and ho
goes Into the senate well equipped for his
duties.
The most interesting of the new senators ,
however , is G ovcrnor Wnrrcn. IIo Is entirely
now to Washington anil his only political ser
vice has been as governor of "Wyoming terrl
tory , mayor of Cheyenne and ns ono of the
loading politicianof his section , lie is a
man with a history and his llfo has been typ
ically American , Ills father VM n Massa
chusetts farmer who believed ttiat nil the
learning : a boy needed was comprised in the
MASTIIIIV 01' Till ! THItlC HS ,
"readln' , iltin1 and rilhmetlc. " When young
Wnrrcn was thirteen years old ho had , to r
certain extent , mastered these nnd ho wantci
more schooling. Ills father told him that il
be got it ho would have to earn it and ho lol
him have his tlmo to li'amelf. ' From thutngo
until now Wnrrcu has made his own living ,
IIo got n good education by working In the
summers and going to school In the winters ,
and the most of his los&ons was studied by
the light of a tallow dip away up
under the roof In bis nttio room li
his grandfather's house where ho
boarded. IIo had progressed well in
his academical studies when the war broke
out , nnd ho was nt this tlmo about sixteen
years old. ilo wanted to enlist at once , lu
his father sent him word forbidding it , nnd
according to the laws of Massachusetts ho
had to bo considerably elder before ho could
BO without his fnthor'n consent. Ho \ \ asunder
under contract to work for his master until
ho was eighteen. But on his eighteenth
birthday. Juno 23 , 1SG2 , ho cnmo Into town
with a load of chceso , determined to go to
the war. There was a meeting in tlio town
Imll that night for recruits , nndSenator Wnr-
ren tells mo that when ho went in ho saw his
father there , nnd ho was afraid ho might prevent -
vent his enlistment. IIo was also backward
because a bounty of f 150 had been offered for
volunteers , and ho feared It would bethought
thought ho went Into tUo army for Iho
bounty. When the request for recruits
was uiudo , however , ho found himself
on hla feet before ho know It and ns ho
Etartod up for the front his father stood by
his side and took bis arm and walked with
him , saying that ho had not wanted him to
go before , but that ho was a man now , and ho
hod confidently expected to find him liero ,
nnd that bo went with his consent and his
blessing ,
Veil , so young Warren started out to bat-
Ue. IIo was only lu service about a year and
had bcoa offered a commission when sickness
drove him homo to Massachusetts. He had
icro for a tlmo charge of the largent dairy
farm la that part of tbo country nnd was
making a high salary for Now England wucu
JO
DECIDED TO GO WEST.
lie stopped in Iowa , worked there for a
j tlmo nnd then went on to Cheyenne.
Ho had no money to sncnk of ,
1 but ho got into merchandising nnd
cattle raising , and gradually increased
Us I capital by successful turns and by his
knowledge ' of stock until hois now ono of the
richest cattlemen in the country. Ho ia the
president I nnd the chief stockholder in the
Warren live stock company , and this com
pany I has 100,000 , sheep , a.OOO cows , and about
two t thousand horses. It has a flock of C.OOO
Angora goats , and It has some of the finest
Imported 1 rams in the United Stntos. It owns
1i 100,000 1 acres of land , and it is increasing the
number i 1i of Its nnlmnls right along. Wyoming
is i a state of thousands of hills , and Warren
may i well bo called the Job or the senate , for
his 1 cattle ronmover the best of them. IIo is
like 1I 1 Job , too , in his other possessions , for ho
is I a man of many interests. His merchandis
ing interests extend over the whole state ,
ana the Cheyenne house has ngencies In Salt
Lnko nnd Ogdcn. IIo has Interests In the
electric light plant of Clieyenno , and there
nro few business mteicsts In the city with
which bo Is not connected.
Lot mo tell you how this Wyoming senator
looks.
I called uoon him last night in his room at
the Arlington hotel nnd found him a good
looking fellow of about forty-six years of
ago , dictating like mad to a tlpowritor who
took down bis words on a mactilno that rat
tled like a corn shellcr. The senator left off
his dictation upon my entrance , but the in
fernal clicking wont on during our conversa
tion. Senator Warrca is about six feet tall
and bis form is as
ST1UIQ1IT AS TIIK STUAIOIITF.ST PINK
which hugs the Wyoming slopes of the
Kocky mountains. Ills shoulders are as
broad , as are western ideas , and his chest hns
boon inndo deep and full by the raritledair
of Cheyenne , which contains , I am told , llfty
times as much ozone as any air cast of the
Mississippi. Senator Warren is a blonde.
His hair Is of a light brown. His eyes nro
blue nnd ho has n luxuriant straw colored
moustache , which comes well down over a
strong and clean cut mouth. Ills forehead Is
high nnd broad , his nose u straight , nnd Ids
face is , on tbo whole , rather handsome. Ho
dresses well , talks well and will , I judge , bo
a man of more than ordinary weight on the
senate floor. I asked him as to the present
condition of the now state. Said ho ! "Tho
stnto of Wyoming Is increasing In popula
tion right along. It is true the census
gives us only 00,000 , , but wo had only
15,000 in 1870 , and I think our population
todnv is really about one Hundred thousand.
Wo have n great many out of the way towns
nnd districts in which it was hard to pot an
accurate census , Our state contains about
ninety thousand square miles , and you could
lose the six Now England states inside of It.
Some of our county seats are a hundred anil
sovcnty-llvo miles from a railroad , and I bc-
llovo that we have about forty thousand
more population than the census has given
us. NuvuQii is decreasing In population , hu <
nur population will steadily grow nnd wo wll'
have , I think , ouo of the great states of tuo
west"
What has the stnto to make it great ! " j
asked. "I thought it was all sago brush nnt
mountains. "
"We have ono of the richest mineral ro-
glens In the United Suites , " replied the sen
ator , "Our coal nnd Iron will eventually
make us a great manufacturing state ando
Lave
THIHTT Tnomvn SQCAIIE MILES
of good coal. Some of our Iron cannot bo
surpassed in quality nnd quantity and wo
hnvo copper nnd lead nnd gold nnd silver
Wo have consldoriiDlo agricultural countr. %
and if the government would give Wyoming
Its arid lands , stock companies would b <
formed for its irrigation and great trucks of
desert could bo made to blossom like the rose
Wo have some of the richest oil Holds in the
United States. I have eooa oil wells which
vould throw n stream sixty foot In the air ,
nnd there are in parts of the state ponds of
ill eight feet deep , where the oil has run out
'roin natural wells and bas been caught
n basins. It is not willy known how
valuable Wvoming is , and the state is In
ts babyhood , materially as well as politically.
Jhoycnno , its capital , is an enterprising
a town ns you \\ilt find anvwhero. It was a
few years ago the richest town in proportion
to its population in the United btatcs , and
mw with a population of 15,000 ; it ha ? ns
much enterprise and stir as many a town of a
100,000 in the east. It has electric lights , n
$100,0011 university , ono of tlio finest railro.id
depots of the country , and It is full of snap
nnd enterprise. Youa.sk mo whnt 1 think
the government ought to do for Wyoming , I
reply she ought to give us some public build-
ngs , lot the state have the dlsnosal of the
irld lauds and strengthen the military posts ,
Wo nro on the edge of tbo Indian country
mid some alarm h felt among the people as to
the possibilities of an Indian war. "
Senator 1'lumb tells mo that fmralls will
probably bo returned to the senate , and that
no 1ms a number of friends among the alli
ance legislators which , in addition to his re
publican fiionds , will secure his election.
Senator Ingulls liimself will snv nothing
about his election for publication , but I un
derstand that ho
COXMDKH3 ins ! UCCE S ciimi : > r.
There is a general desire hero that Ingalls
lie returned to the senate , and exnressions of
this kind nro common , even uraong the sen
ators who have been tlio most bitterly at
tacked by him. The newspaper correspond
ents , without an exception , are anxious that
ho should remain , as bo furnishes Better de
scriptive material than any other man in the
body , and alwavs 1ms a new idea to offer upon
every subject that comes up.
I Hud a general impression that the alli
ance party will bo ophormnl , nnd that it will
not have murh influence on the next presi
dential election. Senator 1'lumb said last
night : "You can't tell whr.t will bo tbo
state of thingj two yfars from now.
Times may bo bettor , and the ef
fect of the McKinley law may
show that It will bo n good rather than n bad
thing for the country. The Farmers' alliance
party will hnvo a number of oftlccs to dis
tribute. Us leaders will probably quarrel
among themselves , nnd it may all go to plocos
before tbo presidential election. " Judge
Tyner , ox-postmaster general , and now at
torney general of the postofllco department ,
thinks with General Plumb , and ho says It
reminds him of the granger movement which
struck Indiana about the tlmo ho ran tor
congress. Ho was ad vised not to accept the
republican nomination on account of the
strong farmers element of the district , which
would certainly DO ncalnst him. IIo was a
weaker candidate than Tynor , but ho was
elected because the grangers fought among
themselves and could not nt tlm end agree
upon n candidate. KoaHcll P. Flower thinks
tlio alii auto bos
TOO MAST CIUZV IDEAS
as to fl at money , etc. , to hold Itself together ,
nnd Gcorgo O. Jones , who was the greenback
candidate for the presidency some years ago ,
believes that the old greenback element will
unite and that they will rally around bonator
Stanford as the next candidate for the presi
dency.
I called on Senator Sanders of Montana
last night. Ho says there are no alliance
people in Montana , and ventures the state
ment that the alliance party will within two
years bo n thing of the past. "Tho people of
tUo United Stntos , " saidhe , "will uotsupport
any party which holds its meetings in the
dark , Such actions are against the spirit of
American institutions , nnd they are n part
only of the craze of the times. Wo are growing -
ing insane over secret societies. If you will
go into any crowd you will find more buttons
and badges thnu you can count , nnd it would
tnko more lonmmg to read their moaning thnn
it would to write a history of MOSOB and the
prophet * . Parties have been lu a trans
ition state for the last ten yenrs and Just now
there is going on all over the United States n
disintegration of pnrtlos nnd a change of so
cial conditions which inake It almost Impos
sible to prophecy for the future. This Is nn
ngo of trusts , of false values , and of grxul
fortunes. It is an ago of fortunes made dis
honestly , and It would , seem to mo that a
mr or KKCKONIXO Mrsr COSIE
sooner or later. Our great corporation vnl
ucs are based on false estimates. Our rail
roads are operated so that tholr directors
nnd managers and great proprietors arellttla
bettor than thieves lu regard to tbo public
And the balance sheet must bo made sooner
or Inter. As to tbo nllianco party , I don't
think that it is tbo party that Is destined to
brii K this about. It is only an evidence of
the discontent which prevails among the poo-
> lens to existing conditions. It is so consti
tuted that I don't bollovo it can hold to-
other mid I do not expect to see It alive In
b ! > - ' . "
Now railroads are being built out from
Washington in every direction. Three now
electric lines are being constructed and tbo
rails nro already down between the treasury
ind the patent bnico of the now G street line
.ind cars will bo running , it is suld , by the
lirst of January. The business part of
Washington is changing. A few jcars
ago all of the business houses were on
Pennsylvania nvcnuo with n few second class
'
stores'on Seventh stroot. Ab'out eight yenrs
ngo little shops begnn to spring up on F
street , which runs parallel with the avenue
on the north , and only about four years ago
was It settled that P street was to bo a great
business street. Now the F street property
is the most valuablu business property in
the city , and as nn evidence of its rise
Hon. John W. Thompson , Washington's
millionaire banker , bought last soring the
corner of F and Thirteenth sheets , Just
below tlio Ebultt liouso nnd paid $ JJ5OUO for
it. This was considered an Immense price ,
and the conservative Investors of the city
raised their hands in wonder. Mr. Thompson
went off to Europe during the summer nnd
after a nice trip through Norway nnd Switz
erland , returned a few days ngo , and sold bis
property for f5tl,00 , ! ( ) , making $123,000 , off of
it in six months. This G street railroad
has made n great boom in G street
property , and It will1 sooa bo as
busy as F 'street is now. Tha owners
of residences along It have grown
rich , and houses which tlireo yenrs ago were
worth $3,000 nro now worth $25.000. General
Denver , the man after whom Denver was
niimod , tells mo that his landlndly was the
other day ollorod $51,000 for a house which
she had bouuht for $1,000 , , nnu tliero is a
negro woman who owned 11 llttlo $ . " ) ,000 , prop-
crtv on P street some years nuo , who hits
inndo ? 7 , " > ,000 on it. Ex-Senator Buckalow of
Pennsylvania und General Denver wore
chatting together last nlrht of tbo wonderful
growth of AVashington and of Its elements of
prosperity. "Tbo people outside of Washing
ton , " said General Denver , "urn11 understand
it. They say the town has no manufacturers ,
no water front nnd no commerce , and they
can't see anything to inaVo it grow. It has , in
fact , the biggestfactorics In the United States
nnd its hands are the best paid. There is the
treasury factory , with its il.OOO cminlovcs re
ceiving nn average of ? 1,000 , n year. There is
the interior department which has three or
four thousand more high priced hands. And
there Is the pension olllco , the war depart
ment and the dozen of other governmental in
stitutions which must Incn-aso in size and
which distribute millions of dollars hero every
month. " '
"Yes , " said Senator Duckalow , "and there
Is congress , with iu 400'men ' getting 15,000
salaries nnd spending more that 5,000 , a yenr
hero on the average. There are the thousand
odd people who hang n round congress want
ing to get something out ofi \ , and there are
the nabobs wbo nro.conlug here from nil
parts of the country for tlielr winter resi
dence and spending hero the income of their
millions , There are millions of dollars spoilt
every year inn social way and Washington
has , I bollovo , UiubosUelements of growth of
any city of its slzo lu the country. "
"Yes , " suld Gouoral. Denver , "and the
transient element olr Washington brings a
great deal into the city. Every inauguration
brings !
OXH HCNIWim TIIOrsVKi ) BTIIANOKI19 ,
and he Is a mighty close i calculator who can
pass through Washington without spending
nt least WO on the way. Washington gets f V
000,000 out of every Inauguration , or an aver
age of $500,000 a year from tills source nlone ,
and It has conventions of all sorts from week
to week , yenr in and year out. Todav it Is tbo
dentists of the United State , tomorrow It Is
some branch of scientists , and tbo next day It
Is something else. The city grows right along
in bonuty nnd In population. Its people pay
only one-half the taxes and the capitalists are
not afraid of the voters voting more taxes
upon thorn. It Is a city cf low taxation and
of fair valuation , nnd It will bo the Mecca of
the capitalists for years to come.
Speaking of the money spent in entertain
ing \Vnshliigton \ , Res well P. Flower of
New York gives some of the best dinners of
tbo Capital city , IIo dlnod nearly every
member of congress last session , and ho Is
lion- one of the most ] > ouulnr nion in public
life. I learned last night the secret of those
dinners. They were given on the ground of
good fellowship In the fir-it place , but in tbo
second pl.ico they were nlso given to cducato
Mr. Flower to the peculiar tastes and natures
of the men who dined with him. Under the
spurkliiiR bubbles of Flower's champagne
ibo senators and representatives burst forth
in their real feelings as to public matters ,
nnd Flower now understands how to work
each of them ai to his own plans in regard to
national interests und ns to the nxcs of his
constituents. Flower is one of the best Ui-
plomats in congress. IIo has a big head and
a brainy one. When he smiles , bo smiles all
over , and bo never smiles in vain.
FIIANK G. CAIIPCVTCH.
A Grunt Inventor.
IIo made a new Invention nearly every other
But something always ailed It nnd it always
scorned toshirn ;
Its functional activity was somehow very
weak ;
Its whole vitality w.is low ; the blomcd
thing wouldn't work ,
IIo made perpetual motion things , but they
would never move :
And then bo made a big machine for flying
through the sky ,
But there was n slialit obstruction in the
piston rod or groove ,
And the only" trouble with it was , ho
couldn't make it lly.
And bo made marine toboggans for sliding on
the sen
A very pretty compromise of bicycle and
boat
And on tno second trial trip ho said 'twas ' his
ide.i
The thing would sllao tremendously If ho
could make it llo.it.
And ho made a panacea that would euro
overv ill
The long-sought life elixir , to the world so
lone denied ;
Hotooktho medicine himself a largo , jjrcon-
lookingplll
Aud twenty minutes later ho laid him
down middled.
Intorcbtini ; In forum lion.
Smith , Gray & Co.'s Monthly : "That's ' an
awful price this now company has to pay the
government for every seal they kill in
Alaska , " said Mr.Viggler. \ . "Ten dollars ;
just think of HI"
"Ton dollars for every onol" asked Mrs.
WiKglor.
"livery single ono. The old company never
paid but& . "
"Is that alii"
"Yes ; Its a shame , too , the way the ani
mals have been thinned out up there by the
tinders and the poachers , und I don't know
what nil , "
"I suppose so. "
"Man up there from the Smithsonian Insti
tution a llttlo while ngo says there ain't ono
now whcro there were twenty a dozen years
ago. "
"Tho Idea. , '
"Seals are seals now. "
"Well ! "
"Well , I thought I'd kind of toll you about
it , so vou'd ' understand how I came to buy this
beautiful sllver-buttoner for Christmas , in
stead of the sealskin sucijuo you spoke
about. " _
Presbyterian Maiden ( who admires the
Episcopal ritual ) You don't know how much
J. envy you that beautiful service of yours ,
Mr. Kowrot. Young Assistant ( who prides
himself upon his skill nt tennis-O ) , well ,
you know , it's only a good bit of speed , with
a llltla effective cutting now and then.
Tan Htund I-
Munsoy's Weekly : iJrown 1 see by the
pipers that the Intcst is a cat doctor. Now
hi ) patients have some show.
Jtlrs. Drown How Is that , my dear.
llrowp Because they have nine lives.
A Slight .Mlstnfce.
Boston Traveler : Mrs. Cnwlcr Who man
ages the affairs of yourlato husband (
Ilercuved Widow His brother U bis oxo-
culloner ,
Dr. Dlrnoy euros oUarrh , Boo bld
Ktiicl How do you manage to distinguish
the men who wish to milrry for injnoy from
these who really love you } Maud These
Who really love mo make such awful fools of
themselves
The 99 Cent Store.
1319 Farnam Street
3rd Door from 14th St.
HERE'S ' LAUGHING GAS OS TAP
Some of the Bright Things the World's ' Wits
Are Saying.
A POEM BY THE PROOF-READER.
How JHosHom "Was Spirited Away A
htiiiKin-r Ilt'lMilco In Texas Can
Stand Experiment Ing Got
tlio Chllilrcn Mixed.
St. Joseph News : St. Agedoro Do you
sco that man over there taking moxiol Ono
of tlio greatest antiquarians in this town.
Do Masons-Hobby of his ?
"No. Ho makes his living that way. Ho
publishes a patent inside comic weekly. "
Wat PITight. .
Harper's Ba/nr : "Does the collar leak I"
"No. It's hail two feet of water In it over
since I've been in the house. Not n drop can
get OUt. "
Tlio IVooI-Itontliir'H Pot-in.
Somerville Journal : After nn uiuisunllj
busy tiny those pathetic lines were found
poncilleil on tlio blotter of the proof-reader's
desk :
Proofs to the rSpht of him ,
Proofs to tlio left of him.
Proofs nil around him rattled and thundered ;
But ho sat In blsclmlr ,
Withaconlldontnlr ,
And marked where the miserable compo. had
blundered.
Kpirltctl Avvny.
St , Joseph News : "Whero Is your friend
Blossom , now ) "
"Ho has been spirited nwny. "
"Whotl Kldnnpncai"
"No , no. Bled of drink. "
AStingliii ; Hobukc.
Somerville Journal : Old Konb I fell ofl
the bridge Into the river last night.
Indifferent Companion Oh , well I guess it
didn't hurt you much. You seem to have
conio out nil rmht.
Old Soak Yes , Im I swallowed nt least
linlf a pint of water when I went down.
Oncn In a Lifetime ,
St. Joseph Hows' ! "What Is your punish
ment for norM ) stealing out hero ) " asked a
strantjer from the cast.
"Oh. " replied young Docan of Texas , "wo
administer n stinging robuka for that sort of
tiling. Wo generally hold a lynching beo. "
ThroHtcnini : toTnrn Slntn'n Hvlilnnco.
Jewelers1 Weekly : Thief Madam , hero's I
tlio stuit mo an1 my pal toolc when wo busted 1
your trunk.
Actress Pollcol
Thief Tut , tut ! Hfon't ' make miy fuss , or
I'll call In experts to testify to the vnluo of
tlio rubbish.
A DlHgiiHtod Native.
Chicago Tribune : First Stockbroker ( pourIng -
Ing out his regular quantity ) Well , iJillon
has beou made president of the Union Pa-
cillc.
cillc.Second
Second Stockbroker ( stirring a little sugar
In his ) I said all the time Gould was going
to give him tliut position ,
Intense but pooily Informed Atncilcnn
( overbearing the tnlk ) Anil lie's only been
in this country two weoksl What clmnco
tloes a strait-lit United States limn stand In
this country , anvhow ? I wonder whnt fat
Job they'll ' glvo 6'Hricnl '
IIo Wunliiil No Kvponslvo Prlic.
Jewelers' Weekly ; Jeweler Would you
prefer a cap of solid silver orono of nlbntiu
Yank Hawks A solid silver cap ! See bore ,
mister , if yer want to tbrow In any do's Jc.v
make It a straw hat.
Tlitilr I'll ft , I UK ,
Chicago Tribune ; She clung to him and
sobbed In heart-breaking sorrow.
"Promise me , Harry , " slio pleaded , ' 'that
your last thought thall bo of ma ! "
"I promise , darling : , " replied the strong
man brokenly , ashostrained bcrto bis bosom
and mingled hi ? tours with hers. "I will ilia
as becomes a bravo man , hut my lost thought
shall bo of my own llltlo Hesslol"
Ono convulsive embrace , ono last kiss nml
ho toro himself iiwur from tlio fainting girl
and rushed from tlio liouso.
IIo was on his wnv to play In the rush line
at n g.uni ! of football.
Sorry Sim AHkoil.
Epoch : She Do you love mo for myself
nlono ?
,
He Yrs , nnil when wo'ro ' married I don't '
want any of the family thrown In.
Dirt Clicnp.
Chicago Trlbuno : "Biislness seems to ha
lively here , " remnrkod the dignified stranger
who was taking a .stioll through the booming
young western uity.
"LivelyI You boll" replied the man whit
tling the dry yoods box. "Why , this yero
corner sold last week for ? 3..riOO , , an' Its jest
about big enough to nit down on. Kvor see
thoboivtof it ! "
"I think I have , " mused the stranger. "I
paid8100,000 once fora placotoslt down in , "
And the dlKiiilled United States senator
walked thoughtfully away.
Got 'Km Mixed.
Detroit Free Press : ' 'Say , have you n losl
boy down there ! " asked a voice by telephony
of police headquarters the other day.
"No , slr. '
"All right , neon gene a clay or two , but
will probably turn up nil right somowhcro.
Good bye. "
About nn hoiii-later thesnmo voice U&KOU :
"fot ! a lost girl down there ! "
"No , sir. "
"Excuse me , but I didn't know but you
had. "
"Aren't ' you the man who asked for a loat
boy about an hour ugoi"
"Yes , "
"And wit's "
no a gltl ?
"Ye ? , hut there was a mistake. I've ' Just
married a widow with live children nml
haven't got to know the latter yet. I thought
ono of the boys was lost , but it turut out to
bo ono of the girls. Olvo mo n week and I'll '
bo nil right. Good bye. "
Tlio Ijnn ( Factory.
Capo Cod Item : A clergyman riding on tin
down train from lioston to Ynrmoiithport
the other day had Ills attention ntlractod by
the succession of factories us tlio train was
passing through Hrockton , ilia city of shoos ,
"How many fnetorioa nro there hum11 hu
asked a neighboring passenger ; "lias the row
noi'ndl"
"That'a ' the last factory , " replied the pas-
. - *
BCiigor.-
"You'ro mistaken , " said the clergyman ;
"thoro is another. "
"I loll you that was the lust factory , " said
tlio other , hnperturbably.
As there was Hki'ly to boa not argument , n
third person pucillrally Interposed and ox-
plnlneil that It was the last factory , or , in
other words , the factory whcto lasts aru
niuilo.
Ton
Chicago Tribune : "Mndnm , " snld the
trump sunvi'lj'i to tlio woman of the house ,
"you will have no objections , I hope , to my
remaining on your buck porch afuw moments
to rest myself nnd Inhalu the odor of that do *
liclous young praiiloehicken you nru coolt-
ing ! "
"How do you know it's u young prnlrlu
chli'kenl" she demanded ,
"Why , I 11
"How do you know that It isn't n quail , or
venison , or Hocky Mountain sticopl"
"Madam , I assure you "
"How do vou know that it Isn't cnnvaw-
back duck , or California rlcubirds , or blue-
winged teal , or Jlainonu-biiehrd torranml"
"It smells good enough to bo any of them ,
I nm suio , nnd "
"If you've ' got any use of that rodnosoof
yours , " retorted thu woman , "you know well
onouuli Its a luuthory old barnyard hen.
She's been cookl'itr for six mortal hours , nn
uln't donu yet , mid I've ' got no time to waste
on a sneaking , hypocritical , flattering , cold
victuals loafer , You fjlt. "
The tramp lost no tlmo In obeying tlio roin-
innnd.
"Tho next liouso I tackle , " ho snld snvngcly
to himself iis ho trudged on , ' 'I'll nsk ' 0111 fo
bonio of their fried liver scrota , by gosh | "
Dr. Uirnuy cuics cntarrli , Ueo
