PART TWOT THE OMAHA SUNDAY PAGES9Tfl6. TWENTIETH YEAR OMAHA , SUNDAY MOBNINQ , OCTOBER 19 , 1800-SIXTEEN PAGES. NTOIBER NVERY H' pTj VLRY Going Out of Business. The Old Stand-by will Soon be a Landmark Gone , AT ONCE , Now. ) Dress Goods OUT WITH A USHING THING PLUSHES. ' All our 40-lndi Double-l-'olil . LADIES' HABIT CLOTH , VENGEANCE AT Our Ent'ro Stock 100 p'oo3 SHU REDUCED Piiiss , in nil iow ahudcs , will bo 19c RHAD SEE PROM 76c TO XEAHTHEP ? COJIE CLOSED A I'RICHS. GOODS. EXD. 29c EARLY. OUT YARD. All otirM-liH'h AM Wool Striped anil Diagonal Our Bntiro St.ck of Finosi Qradoa Dress Goods , of Importol Our Entire Stock of 87 pairs oxtru Our Pluo t Qrtul , 24 incho3 s'zo flui Lanib'a Wool IU al Silk Plusb , regular price $1.20 BBDUOBD PROM $1.25 TO 89c Mini Jackets Scarlet Medicated WILL BE A s * , All our cheap and lo\v grade goods being sold out , CLOSED AT 69c YARD. All our rincst Grade All Wool Hesular price ! ? tollS.50 , rcduccil to we realize that to dispose of the better and high cost BLANKETS SM FINISH HENRIETTAS , Our Entlro Stock Black and Colored , fjoocls , we must cut them way down- and that we have VELVETEENS , REDUCED - J Regular pro 3 $6.50 , now FROM 61.25 TO C one so Vlt a vengenance you will see by the prices we SILK FINISH , advertise toc1a. WILL BE " 1 r\f \ A , Our entire sloe' * S ngle Fold Dress Goods lined This Includes , elf-cant All Silk ami Putin 3.OO poods AMrurrmn trimmed anil thu nov plaids and stripes , reduced to 2'c. elties no bought for tlili season's trade. ' . CLOSED AT 1 / \j YABD. LADIES' LA OIKS' LADIES' FINE SILK Ladios' Fine Colored Bord red Fmost Gr.ido Children's ALL SILK IMNDKIl'lJffi ' Underwear I Underwear ALLIYOOL SCARLliT NELLIE BLY The Entire Stock of The Finest Grades VI BEST ONLY BEST Natural \Yool REAL SANITARY CHILD'S QUALITY QUALITY And Imported Scarlet PLUSH First Size , IVA 1ST Vests and Pants TURBANS , FIXE Ic. UNDERWEAR KID OAPS JOOKBY LINING . AND 12k CASSlMliRE , FINISH Cassimere KNEE ALL 5c. SKIRT c HATS PANTS COLORS . . , LINING. , , "Worth 5Oo. Worth 73c ENTIRE STOCK OHILDS' Canton Flannel Scarlet Flannel. Bed AN IMMENSE LARGE SIZE BEST 15cOHILDS' , . Spreads. srooK. o ? FANOV COLORED BLACK AND 1 Turkish Our Entire Stock Heavy All Wool Our ICntire Stock COLORED Or 7o and So 4c Scarlcl Twill Red Flannel Nearly 00 Imitation 45c ( lo , Tozvets DRESS IDMR Canton Flannel Reduced from ii > c to - Marseilles Bedspreads CALICO , , 50c , FLANNEL , Reduced BRAID ALL Our Entire- Stock ol lOo ' , E.\tra. heavy very \r\tl \ Extra Largo PERCALE , from SIZES. Canton Flannel J Q Twill Medicated Fl.ajinel Kenl Marseilles 75c Worth 13c. the ENTIRE STOCK Scalloped Shelf Reduced to Hoduccd from 35o.tb - Pattern BEDSFKliADS 60c. / ALL 1HB Our Entire Stock ' rEnglish Satteen OIL Our Heaviest and Best Very Host Grade licau Tjul'll Our Best Grades 75cl Sliort Length ' Ribbons' Silk 'CORSETS * Canton Fannel Medicated Scarlet Flannel $ l f T , OTT-T _ , Merbleor . . Reduced to Reduced from 40c to - Marseilles Bedspreads Silk Ribbons. Co.or.d < . Regular Prlca 25o ; all co'.ors , Our Knllro Stook-ovcr 3X1 doonMISSES' OUH EXTIItn STOCK 0V Nothing but the Positive Fact of our Going Out of Business would , compel uiKlCMILDHKN'-S ALL WOOL sEAM- Extra Large , Heavy , Both Sides Finest White Carded Cotton LKSri 11LAOK LADIES' HOSE pel these Extraordinary Lo\v Prices Mind this and Come Quickl , mr Cashmere Hose , In Cashmere anil All Wool Rlblcd I1CO ft Seamless Itechiced trotn UJe to Hose , reduced from Wo to J. L. Brandeis & Sons , Ilcducod from $ l.Mto KcduccU from ( .1.25 to 502 , 5O4 , SO6 , SOS and BIO S. 10th St. , Cor. Howard. GOING CORNER END Do Soon it Out ol Business 13th and Howard Sts Flic Fair is near trifle with chances will be all over. LOOKS LIKE CONSOLIDATION , the Base Ball Magnates drying Peace , Agree to a Truce. WESTERN ASSOCIATION MATTERS. fe Omaha's Nucleus for Next Year's Team Urooklyii'o Second IJisc- : mcn Btorli'H by Jack Crooks and 1'oct IJiirns. The Brotherhood nml National league mag nates did not accomplish anything at their conference in New York and the battle Be tween the two organization : ) Is still being waged In the newspapers. Each faction is emphatic in the declaration that "Wo got the best of the flKht , " yet both nro willing and npparcntly uuxlous to avoid a continuance of the warfiiro. Ono thing is very certain , from present indications , and that is that neither side made any money during the east year nnd that neither the league nor the brother hood cares to do u losing business another year , especially as , in addition to the direct llnauclal loss resulting from such u contest , another's war would probably end in the ab solute death of interest in the national game. Another thing certain is that a continuance of the row between the Brotherhood and National league would make It impossible for nny minor association to live. An agreement "Vlthbothof the major organizations would be out of the question , nnd nn agreement with cither would simply make the minor leagues o lot of training schools for the league not bound in any agreement. It would bo im possible for a minor league to hold its desira ble men nnd the coudltlons would bo even worse in this respect than they were lost year. The managers of the Western association fell this and will not take any decided action tow.int another season's work until after the conference meeting of the league nnd broth erhood which has been postponed until Wed nesday , October Tim meeting of the Western association to have been hold on October'.1 , has been post poned until November 1 , nnd if the league nnd brotherhood fall to effect a compromise It Is decidedly doubtful whether or not tbo Western association will put a team In the field next year. StorlCHUxnit Crooks. Jack Crooks , the hustling second baseman of the Columbus club , Is what the jokers of the profession call a "soft mark" for tdeir llt- tlo "kids " the Cincinnati , says Enquirer. Crooks has a good opinion of himself , and It Is through this feeling that the gang has been nblo to work him. Lost winter bo became a ihembcr of Comlskey's California team , ana In so doing fell Into tbe hands of the greatest aggregation of Jokers that over gave a victim the Horrors. Simply by telling him that several league magnates were after him , Comlskoy Induced him to run hU tongue out a foot in making a record against Clarkson , the Boston pitcher. Thinking that the league emissaries were lu the grand stand watching him , Crooks fairly toro uiOho sods covering the ground. Ho made three long hits , each for three bases , coached like a calliope , and ran bases for several of the gang , who , being In with the play , suddenly - denly bevamo lame. After the coma ho rc- Tuied to tuko olt his uniform , and for an hour laid around the hotel ofnco expecting to nieot somebody with a league contract Several days later , while at Colorado Springs , he was again Jobbed. It was In the dftilng room of a highly fashionable hotel that the de d was done. Seated at the table to his rear were a couple of Ensllsh noble men who were traveling for pleasure. Crooks' ' I table companion was Comlskcy , who was ripe for some fresh "Ida" to work on the young fellow. Noticing that the English men ordered u pot of tea each , a happy idea struck him and ho said : "it's pretty tough that a fellowcan'tsmoko here , isn't it I" "I should say it was , " returned Crooks , anxious to please hit captain. "it's all and I don't style , anyhow , see whv hello ! \Vhythoso two English dudes back there are smoking cigarettes ! " "U'heronro they1' ! demanded Crooks. "Hack there , " said Comlskey , pointing over Crooks' head. Twisting in his chair , the latter saw the steam from the tea pots rising in tha air , nnd Jumping at the suggested conclusion that it came from burning cigarettes , rapped out : "I'll bed d if I don't smoke myself. I'm Just as peed a. them lino-haired blokes. Have a cigar 1" Spying this ho pulled out two extremely vile Mexican cigars , ono of which ho passed to Comlskey. The latter apiwared to bo wrathfully indignant , nnd getting up told Crooks to go ahead while ho went out and saw the proprietor. Lighting the weed the deluded second baseman uuffetl angrily away , stopping only to spitefully blow volumes of the sickening smouo over his shoulder to ward the Englishmen , at the same time mut tering : "Cigaiettcs , hey-well ! " The terrible odor soon disgusted the gen tlemen , and , crlling the head waiter , they pointed out Crooks , saying : "Tti * vile thing is making ns beastly sick , y'know. " Two minutes later the angry proprietor had Crooks In the corridor making things hot for him. Ho ordered the huprised smoker and the rest of the club out of the house , and It was not until the Jolto was explained that ho weakened nnd allowed them to ronuln. But Crooks never became aware of the fact that ho had been Jobbed. Poet Hums' Story. Burns of the Kansas Cltys tells a good story Jim often tells a good story. He says that while ho was a member of the Oshkosh club some years ago It was owned by Senator Sawyer , the lumber king. Sawyer put ? W,000 in to boom the town , and , by the way , it won the pennant and paid no attention to it. Ono day , however , ho concluded to take his wife out to sco n game. Both were interested. The pitcners were being hit bard , there were many long flies caught , nnd they enjoyed it. Finally , however , an idea occurred to Mrs. Sawyer. "Senator , " she said , "that is not fair ; they put only three men away out in the Held and let all the rest stand around the dia mond. They make those thrco men work too bard. You must see the manager and tell him to scatter his men out. " The senator thought her idea excellent , and the next day ho bunted up the manager. "You seem to win all right , " said he , "but I don't llko the way you place your men. 1 want you after this to scatter them out more. 1'utmore in the outtlcld and don't ' have them all standing about the pitcher. " The ICti\v City Situation. The Kansas City correspondent of the Snorting Times furnishes some interesting Western association news. Ho says : The all absorbing question out here now Is what kind of baseball is Kansas City going tosconoxt year.Vo have about finished talking about tha pennant race of 1SOO and are now looking forward to the pennant race of Ib'Jl. All the local players say that Kansas City will be in the Western association next season and so ItlooU.s. Hut this tlmo last year would any ono have believed for nn in stant that Kansuj City would bo in the Western association the next season ! Presi dent i-'p-'us says Western association , Manager Manning says the same , and I ain Inclined to think ttmt Western associa tion it was going to be , but nobody knows it for a fact , Just yet. Tbero Is no way of guessing at ( what is going to happen in the baseball world and nothing would surprise mo , I look far a Western fusoa&tlou , a orob- able member of the National league and a Western association with Sioux City , Lin coln nnd probably Denver eliminated and , eastern towns in their places. I am sure of ono thing , that Kansas City is going to have | { a team strong enough to keep up Its own end in whatever league it maybe , and I think that the exhibition games that have been ar ranged with St. Louis mid probably Louis ville and Brooklyn will show this to bo true. Manning had Intended to take that team to Cincinnati , but the sale of the team to the brotherhood effectually prevents this. By the way , that deal has started the gos sips hero and set the guessers of our future movements at sea. The season's Sunday games have been such remarkably successful games in the way of crowds , that the league would have to offer big attractions to get Kansas City in it. But the major leagues , as they are called , have n strong attraction for us , and if the American association U bulwarked up , I believe it would have a , wonderful fa cination for Kan sas City. The present circuit , though , is not of the kind of build to draw. Hero is a league that is frequently spoken of out hero : Kansas City , Omaha , Minnu- polls , St. Paul. Milwaukee , and three of these towns : Detroit. Crand Hap'uU , In dianapolis , Columbus , Louisville and Toledo. A good strong league could bo formed out of them. ' 1 ho western contingent would go in with a hurrah. Dnindc on tlic Situation. Secretary Brandt of the Omaha club is infer for a top-notch team next season for Omaha. " \Vo were crippled during the past season , " he said , "both in the pitcher's box and at second end base. With the condition of baseball wo aid not feel like investing heavily to fill these places with high-class men and wo were unfortunate in our efforts to get men of lesser note to fill the places of such successes as Kid Nichols and Jack Crooks. We will go at it differently another season. In the tlrst place wo are going to have a good second baseman if wo have to trade half of the men on our reserve list and give a healthy bonus besides. Wo are also going after ono more first class pitcher. I say ono more because we have several now. Dad Claruo will be all right after a winter's rest , and I expect to see him pitch great ball another year. Eiteljorg showed up well nt the close of the season and wo expect him to do won ders next year. 'Tit1 Willis will bo pitched regularly and one more good man added to this trio of twirlers will place us all right as far as pitching talent Is concerned. Behind the bat wo will have Urquahart , Stenzcl and Newman , and they will he out of sight. They are all good , nervy back-stops , fair base run ners and can all nit the leather with the Ixat of them. O'Connor may and may not cover first bag and Cleveland occupies the same re lation to third , Hanrahnn and Mornn will not wear Omaha uniforms , in all probability. Joe Walsh will cover short stop's territory and Cannvan nnd Works will bo outfielders , with a third man to be selected yet. "Of " continued the course. secretary , "these plans are based on the supposition that Omaha will have a team in the fieid next year. While wo may probably be in It , still wo may not. The war between the league and brotherhood must bo settled In some satisfactory manner or wo won't go into another season's losing business. Then salaries must bo sealed in the Western asso ciation so that wo can stand some show of onittlng ahead , or even at least. ( Jive us these conditions and the Omaha management will put a homo team in the field that will bo In the fight from start to finish. " About Dogs and Guns. Although quail shooting is reported excel lent in many of the adjoining counties , tbo warm weather deters many sportsmen from ndulglng in their favorite pastime. Hunt ers who made a practice of shooting on Sun days will have to travel some this year for game , as the farmers whose ranges are within cosy distance of this city have posted signs on their fences warning gunners off their lands. Tbo hunters brought tola order of affairs upon themselves by reckless shooting. The farmers have become tired and disgusted with the rowdy class of hunters who do not hesitate when among cattle or poultry to blii/e away regardless of consequences. An old sportsman , who has saved , many val uable dogs from the boneyarJ , says : "Sul phur anil lard , and even dry sulphur , will cure sarcoptic mange , but greater effect is obtained srom sulphur combined \vitu alkali. The alkaline sulphur ointment used by phy sicians Is an admirable preparation for mange. It is composed of the following in- greulents nnd parts : Washed sulphur , 20 ; carbonate of potassiuio , 10 ; benzolnatcd lard , Co ; water , 5. "Dogs are frequently the victims of skin affections , which are evidently parasitic , and yet their owners , and thoie with whom they consult are unable to determine Just n-hat parasites arc to blame , [ It Is well , therefore , to have the formula of nn ointment which promises to bo effectBal in most cases. The following prescription. ' ! * , especially efllcacious in destroying vegetable parasites , viz. : Sail- cvllc acid , one and n lijlf druchms ; borax , half a drauhm ; balsam I'eru , one drachm ; vaseline , ten drachms , This is practically a harmless preparation. " How many times have sportsmen boon " heard " don't suit 1 under to say , "My gun mo ; or over shoot with it. " 3f a gun shoots low the sloiw of the heel can ibn straightened with good etreet. If it shpovs-'too high the heel can bo sloped more than. It is , and the gun thereby caused to come Up level with the eye in consequence of this * alteration. But all this requires to bo < 3onovlth great care nnd Judgment , as a verylitUo shaping will make a great deal of dlfforeacffln the lit of the gun. It is of as much importance to a shooter that his gun should lit him as it is for it to shoot well ; for , however well a gun may shoot , this good quality cannot bo taken ad vantage of unless in the tlrst place the gun Is adapted to its user. It Is impossible for the best of shots to aim correctly if his gun nib- tits hinv , how much more such a deficiency would affect a bad or oven a moderate marks man may be Imagined. The balance of a gun has a great deal to do with the recoil. A badly balanced pun will recoil more than one that is wll balanced , and consequently feels light in the baud ; the latter will ulso appear of lists weight. Most cheap guns are inferior jin the matter of bal ance , their muzzles bting Uw heavy and strong a sign of iufcriur.workmanshlp , as the weight should boat ttfo breech , not at the muzzle ; the latter only requires to be strong enough to resist indentation. "Hub" "Huh" Collins , the second baseman of the Brooklyn National league team * , was in the city early last week vlsilng his mother , his brother , Harris Collins , tand Mr. H. Hartman - man and family. Mr , Collins was on his way with his team to Uko part In the world's championship series between the Loulsvillcs and Brooklyn's pennant Trumers In the Amer ican association and the National league. "It looks llko a consolidation. " said Mr. Collins , speaking of tliosituatlou of baseball - ball affairs. "Jscltter the league nor the brotherhood has made any money during too past year and neither is anxious for another year's war. * ' Collins is a top-notchcr among second base men and led tha league during the post sea son in run-getting1 , with a record of 14" . Ho began playing professional ball in Columbus , Ga. , in I'-tsi In the southern Icajuo and after wards played with Savannah. Ho went to the LouUville American association team In l Sri and played left Held. He was sold to the Brooklyn team in IS&Sand helped win the American association pennant last year nnd the league Apollo NotOH. Jack Prince Is "doing" Denver. Perrlgo has recovered Irorn bis fall. Regular busluesj meeting of the Apollo Cycling club Monday evening. George Beard has taken up the wheel again and Intends training for the races this winter. The Apollos will give a "smoker" the first of November in their new club room in the Shceley olock. The boys nro beginning to train for the Apollo benefit to bo held Thanksgiving after noon and evening. There has not been very much rlaing done lately by the boys. The riding season is con > ing to a close very fast. The Denver cyclists have formed a union composed of professionals and amateurs. They intend holding s tournament sooa. There is talk of a professional race being held hero the 17th of next month.Vo think the public has had libout enough "fakej" al ready. There has been a club organized some- \ \ here in the east called the Barnum cycling club , after the great showman. P. T. Bar num. This is the Hwt club in America that has adopteil this name. At the regular meeting of the club the fol lowing members were admitted : 0 S. Wood. A. Norland , L. K. Holton and Mr. Umler- wooJ. TDO club membership is swelling very fast. The run for today is Crescent City , la. , a di-tanco of twenty-five miles. The boys arc urged to turn out , ns this is a very line trip. This was the called run for last Sunday , but on account of the rainy weather it was post poned. MlHCcllniicntis Sports. Coonoy leads the shortstops of the country. Xowman may be played at tlrst base next season. Tim Hurst will not manage the Millers next yeur. Wnllv Andrews goes to his old homo in Pittaburg in a few days. "Hoodlum" Griftlthof the Milwaukee team has brotherhood aspirations , John B , Day says that there will bo but one club in New York next year , "Tho United league Is what the now body may be called if cpnsolldatlon occurs. The annual meeting of the Western associ ation will bo held in this city ou November 1. Hy Hach , the now manager of the Minne apolis team , has signed Duke ror next sea- son. son.Elmer Elmer Smith won twenty-one out of the thirty games he pitched for Kansas City this year. Lots of the fans would llko to see Charlie Abbey wearing an Omaha uniform next sea son. Hengle , BurUlek , Hnrkncss and Dugdalo are working for the street car company In Minneapolis. The fall exhibition baseball season has been a dead failure everywhere. Otnaba did well to keep out of it. The Brotherhood has been making over tures to Joe Walsh , but Joo's level head is not inclined that way. John Ward is going to take a team to Cuba this winter. If John would only incur the fatal enmity of the Cubans. The brotherhood pronounces the double um pire system a failure. Thodoublo umpires pronounce the brotherhood a failure. Jack Crooks has been taken out of more games this season than any man In the Amer ican association , and yet Jack says he is not n kicker , The current Issue of the N'ew York Sport ing Times has an alleged picture of Klmer Foster that resembles a Hatbcui ) Indian out for a hair raising holiday. The Kansas City team has beaten the Phil adelphia league team's record of sixteen con secutive victories , and now leads tbo country for IbOO with seventeen straight. It is very probable that Elmer Cleveland will bo sold or traded by the Omaha manage ment. Hir work for the past acajou was not up to his old tlmo standard. Catcher Jantzon. the elongated backstop of the Breviers combination has a clear case of libel against the plate concerns that are cir culating alleged portraits of him. Joe Waisn na.s resumed his regular winter Job as caller In the office of \Vells-Pargo \ express company. Agent Potter says that Walsh U out of sight in this position. Minuetian and Hoover of Kansaa Citynave , each 107 bits to their credit , which makes them tlo for the title of leadingbatsmen. . Lost season Jack Crooks held the title with " 3. 3.An An effort will bo made at the coming meet ing : of the Western association to h.ivo the percentage system adopted for next season , instead of the guarantee plan used during the p.istyear. Dave Howe is still out of a , Job. Ho has his eye nn Lincoln , and friends of the capital city's welfare have requested Governor Thayer to have the militia ready to resist any assault Davidm ay attempt to make. In the Boston club Nichols pitched In for ty-six panics , twenty-seven of which \vero victories. Clarkson pitched forty-four and twenty-six were victories. Gatzein's share wus forty games and twenty-threo victories. Now tiiatCooncy has signed with Chicago's League team he is no longer nn object of In- test to thu Players' league club. He now says that it was the Boston and not the New York players' club that approached him. The Cl'lc.ifro ' club has signed Cooney and Gleiulvin , which complete * the team for next season , with theexccntion of Tommy Hums , who hasn't sk-ned yet. Ills .said that the Now York club Is endeavoring to purchase Burns' release with a view to making ; him captain of the New York team. "Llttlo Xic" Is not likely to bo kept at short for the ICansa- . City Blues , Judging from this ray from the Star : "Manning says that there is Just ono other player he wants before next year-a good young short stop A good short stop is as hard to llnd as n I lebrow hod carrier , nnd if Manning's search Is successful ho will call himself a lucky man. " Prof. Sheldon of the Young Men's Chris tian associ.ition gymnasium LMVO n public ex hibition of his classes Kr.t Monday night and the boys made a very creditable appearance. A largo number of spectator * were present and much enthusiasm was manifest. The gymnasium is now running in full blast nnd monthly exhibitions will be given during the fall und winter months , due notice of which will appear in this column. Latham seenis to have fallen right bach Into brotherhood ways again. The Cincinnati Commercial Gazette nays : "Umpire Sheri dan would make a good running mate for 'Sloppy' McDermott and Strlef. Howa-s way off in his decisions yesterday , and Latham made several vigorous kicks. Once Lath threw down his hat , nnd approaching Sheri dan said' Whoever deluded you with the Idea that you were an umpire ) I think you are the worst Imitation I ever saw. ' " Mrs. Mercer , manicure , 404 Bee Marvelous Growth or a Washington Town. The United States census nnd assessment rolls tell a wonderful story of the progress of the northwest. Probably the most notable example Is that of Fairruiven , Wash. , the Puget sound terminus of the Great Northern railway. Juno 1 , when It was precisely one year old , the national census gave It1.JTJ : ; the assessor's valuation was a fraction less than t < , UiO,000 , while the real value of the property created In one ycnr was found to ho n round tiO.000,000. During this first year three lines of railroad , airgregatiug nearly 100 mlUs , were built by local capital nta cast of $ -,000,000 , without Moating n dollar's worth of bonds or Incurring nny debt. Ten miles of streets wcro graded and paved at a cost of S/Vfl.OOO. lllectrlo lights , gas , waterworks , paid lire department , model churches , schools , nnd other public improvements were made , altogether costing $ linO , , ( > OO , and the marvel ous part of it is that Pairhavcn has no debt , bonded or otherwise , and liai 150,000 in the treasury. It has one coal vein thirty-eight feet thick , suld to be the largest vuln of pure coaklng coal In the world , and ten lumber mill * in the vicinity tmvo a total capacity of SW.dOO.OOO feet ir annum. It * harbor is de scribed as the finest on the I'arltic coast , and the Great Northern railway is establishing great shipping Interests there. It now boasts of 0,000 people , and is probably the richest city of its size in the union. Its magic growth is mainly accounted for by Its su | rior loca tion , its vast wealth lu coat , Iron und timber , and the Indomitable pluck ot it * projectors nnd citizens. Dr. Dirnoy , nose and throat , Ucc bldg Wesupposoa man who rents u sitting la church Is more poucr than ho who sponges his scat. Minister You oucht to whip your boy for fishing on thoSabbath. Deacon -1 intend to , sir , but I thought I'd let him clean them first. D"You were dlssatislled with your pastor some months apol" "Yes. " "Has bo re signed ! " "No but " yet ; the congregation is , I cannot praise the doctor's eyes , I never saw his glance divine ; For when ho prays ho shuts his eyes. And when ho preaches he shuts mine. "Is this a poor parish ! " Inquired the stranger. "Well , " replied the deacon , "tho parish Is rather poor at present , but the min ister is engaged to a x'ich widow , und we are very hopeful. " "Charity , my dear breddern , klvers a mul titude oh sins , but cf yo gib ono cent teen organ grinder's money It Joan entitle yo to go around wid n smile on yo face us if yo wuz ci innercciitob sincz a Uvo-day's-old baby. " Parson Prosy ( who has brought the archi tect to see about repairing the church ) There's a good deal of dry rot in the south gallery , Mr. Gable. Gable .loih so , parson ; and there's a good deal also in both nave and pulpit. "Thero has evidently been a misapprehen sion , "stated tbo minister after the collection for the heathen had been taken u p. "among certain members of this congregation con cerning the heathen's costume. I will state that they do not wear pants. " Banks -As I was walking along Park row the other day. I saw a picture vender who was offering for sale tlio photos of Titlina u and John L. Sullivan. Wasn't that n ridic ulous combination ! Clanks I don'tthlnkso. Both of them make a business of knocking the devil out of people. A Sunday school teacher , after relating to her class of small boys the story of hoxv .Moses obtained watur from a rock la tbo wilderness by striking It with his .staff , said : "Xow Johnny , suppose we are all traveling In a desert and our good minister was to strike a rock with his cnne , do you think wo would get water from the stonel" "Naw , " said Johnny , "we'd get soup. " During the sermon ho underscored In tbo hymnal hero and there a word , Then unu > her ho gave a book She took It , with a grateful look , And read at lost this tender line . Loved one , I pray that Thou wilt be mine- Wilt Thou forever my poor life blois * She turned and gently whispered , "Yes. " The me' re was bad , but she understood That he had done the best ho could , Dr. Birnoy cures catarrh , Bee bldg Coal Doponlls. If the calculations of I'rof. Mondele- lelf are to bo trusted , Russia jiossosses the richest coal deposits lu the world. The superficial nreu of the ccnil Holds In the Donctz ba in ulono utnountH to about 30,000 square kilometres. If the capa city o ( these doporiitH IB put at .00,000,000 pounds per square kilometer ( ono pound Doing- about thlrty-nlx pounds avoirdu pois ) , the totnl bupply of co.il IH ttiitc-d to txj equal to the ttonu'H present consump tion for 11/ty / years. Moreover , tliU only refers to the superficial beds and not to the deojHjrdonositH , which have not yet been explored , but which promise still greater riches. Dr. Birnoy , nose and throat , Hee ltnil\vayn In Jnpttn. In the matter of railways Japan np- peuru to bo tfoiiiK aliead tolerably fust. Considerably over ono thousand miles- are already in operation , while an equal quantity are unuoi * construetl on or sur veyed , and will Iw open within uyenr or two from now. The projected ndlwayn exceed 700 miles in length , with a capi tal exceeding 1(1,000 ( 000. Dr. Birnoy cures catarrh , Bee bldg.