12 Tl-LE COLAHA. DAIL BEE , , SUNT3)ArAUGUST ) 10 , ISflO-'rWEIjOl ' PAGES , * I WORK FOR OURSOLDIERS BOLD1 Ambitions Military Hen "Who Would "Wel come ! War "With Ingland. VALOR RUSTING . IN ITS SCABBARD An QM knllor' * vVdin Irntlon of Itlalim -Jiistiof ! ISriUllrjr'M Mm licmiitluiil K ' ( .TMllloil IlU Ojilllloil of tlio IStilnt Frank n. Ciirpcnl'r.l , August 7.-S-n'cIal [ to Tun BIT. ] Hmltio and the buhilng sun matters nro still the chief subnct ] o ( gossip III naval nnd nillltliry circles. Tlio ofllcers of tlio n nny nro tireil of the Innocus desuetude cn- foiced upon tlwin liy peace mill thoyoJng incn among the Woat 1'olntcrs would glmlly wdcoiiio nny trouble ? which would sh'o them a clmiicc to ilsc. It li much tlio snino in tlio navy , mid if aviir should break out with Kngland the Uultoil States will Imvo Hun dreds of ambitious moil who will lump to fight. I Hjiuit lust ueclcat Dour 1'arh und found quite a military coterie tliero. Among tlicin T.UIS . Colonel Kdlogg who served for years on the stuff of General Thomas nnti who married , I think , Oenrrnl Thomas' daughter. Ho was on ( Soneral Sheridan's BtnlT uttliu tliiioho died , nnd ho had been In tlo regular army for Uventy-llvo years. In s-ieahing of the English aiul tlioir actions , last night hi ) voiced * llio sentlmentof iinny of his fillowt vhcii ho siiidi " 'Vur Is thn soldier's harvest. Our nimv has hud no cliunco to dlstln'ulj > li itself since lotPi ana1 the , olhYcri of the rofjulir tinny vould welcome a war with Unhand , As for mo I spent four } o.irs lighting the soutli and Ihavopiit liisevcntecnyoiM lightingIndians nnd I would now like to liavo nlmnro at tlio English , If Julinny Hull can't tuko caw of Cunada it ought tobolonif to us and If lie gets Into trouble with us uovlll take it. If wo don't ' want it wo ean B'IVO it to the Irish nnd I Imuijliio tlio Irish sjjnputlit/urs on the other sldo woulclinalw things lively In u con test w"h the United Stutcu. " Undo Jerry Husk was ono of the party who listened to Colonel ICollojg's roinii'ksimd the quwtion next oamo ujias to the avail iblo tioopa the UnlU'd States had * IN ctsi : m'Tiioimr.i' . Our militia was rofcrroJ to and the secre tory of agriculture , though ho stated that ho did nothnu an opinion to cxpiossas to ] the situation stated that ho could ralso a division In Wisconsin in twenty-four hours noticoand that the other states of the union could probably do the sumo. , ffAdmlral Queen , who didsuoh good service duringthu Mexican war nnd the latoimpleas- nntness , wiw very conservative in regard to Ills views. Thollrstn.ueition , ho thought , to bo decided was whether wocro light , and in discussing th'o gravity of the situation he said U reminded him of the story of the old negro who was Imnspn-loJ from the south to Africa , Ho was landed luonoof the worst of thocurtliauako regions and shortly after Ills arilvjil the land began to tremble , the tiecs swayed and the houses fell. The old darkey Hopped down on his knees and prayed. Ho proved harder than ho had ever prayed at nsoutborn camp mooting and us the porspira- tlou and tlio tours rolled down his ebony face lie screamed out the t olio wing : "O good Lewd , como down here and save this poor nlirguhl Como quick , La\vd \ , como yousof' ' Don'tsondjou son , for , Lawddis , Uno place forolilllunl" "And so , " concluded Admiral Queen , "if wo luvo a war for England it will boa lively ono and it will bo tin pluco for chil dren. " Another naval ofllccc1 in commenting upon the way in which Ulaino lind handled the Amcilcnn end of the dltputo , told ono of Dick Wintersniltli's stories of Blaino. It related - lated to a sailor who was \VashIngton and who mot Dlaincfor the first time. When ho mis introduced ho looked Blalno all over and eiild , "Aro you the Illniiio who was bora in Poniisylvnulivi" ' 'Vcs , " replied the Plumed Knight , "Iwaa bom thcro. " "Are you the DIulnowho win in congress nnd who made the brilliant speeches as the republican kailor ofthohousoi" "Yes , " said Blaliw , ' lliavjo been In the house , too. " "Aro you the Bliilne , " the old sea eaptiln wont on , while his look of admiration growstro'igor and stronger , "who has so\eral times been a candidate for the presidency of the United States nnd wliono speeches i hnvo read for tlio lust twenty jcars ) " "I have been In the senate , " said Dlalno , "and I have made some spceuta. " " "Well , " con cluded the snilop an ho reached out his hand for another shako. "Iant to tell you that I think you mo the smartest man In the world.Vliy. . " hero ho stopped buck and looked lit Ulnjiic , "you could do anything. I bollovoyouooula do any thing , I behove you couldsall ( iroiuid Capo Horn and back again ox A SUINOI.I : and do it so well thnt you would not oven wet ' the stnt o ( your IHUIU. " Two of the richeat young men In the United Btutos nro. now stopping at llcer Park. They nro youiif'ICiiir ( , the son of the great Texas fiittlo owner , imcl the young fellow who mar ried King's daughter. King was oiiRiuallj' a steamboat captain on tbo .Mississippi liver. Ho went out to Texas and when ho died a few jeiiraiipo ho ln < l nwro cattle than any other niiin in the world , Ills \\Idow now miningcs liU ottnto and lunclcistand that her cowlwys hniudcd something like thirty thousaucl ealvei" tliia siiring. This would roprcscut a held of some thing like three or four thousand cattle , and the King boys nro worth millions , When I saw tlioui each were a soft hat of a dove color , nnill was told that they uaiiio to Deorl'ark , In broad brimmed straws of the Btylo common In Toxus. As soon as thov saw that Ilio30 were not In fashion at Door I'arlt , ono of them toh'irninhod an order to a hattci In New "York , and tlio next dny the stylish bats which they now wear ciiino O , O. 1) , This story was told mo in company with Jerry Uusk , and as I commented upon Ids tall whitnplui ; , hosaid ; "I don't wonder thut the King boys wauled ndltYoient style of hat If they were not In fashion , livery part of the country lias I u O\MI head gcur , imd ' ( hall never forgot \x CM'Hiiir.xcr. or MINK , i lit IsanUiskot , uoar Iloston , I was governor < of Wisconsin at the tlmo and out there \vo I thought nothing win BO genteel as a black silk llio. I onuie cast to get n shoit mt ui the sou shore und vhuii 1 landed at Kantas- liot bouch I found that only myself and the coachman won ) wearing high hats. Tlieso Hostonchonroa ciulous sort of people , you know. 'J'hoy wrthCto look at your genoloelenl trco and anulym your blood to see thut it li blue before Uioy have much to do with you , I They i-.spcclallv afraid of anything that Is not fi-oin Now England or that isnt all out of tlio vayandl , wancloicd ni-ound among them for h i-codajs before nny ot them spoke to me. hud uovcr been treated so buforo and couldn'tiindei'staiidlt ami 1 at last bidJ to nybdf that it must bo my hut , nt once went to my room iiid put on a Uttlo traveling cup that made no look llko the devil but whlcli was not xiu- Iko some of the huts of the Bostonc'se. I hen went down and posed on the hotel nlnzza and I hud not boon pitting there IIvo inlnutoa > oforo a man ciunoup and spoke to me. lie vas a ono-lci-Rod limn uiullio had adrand vriny button in the lapel of his coat. Ho no- iced my button and from thnt utVod. inu vhcro 1 nas fiom. I told lilin that I was 'roin Wisconsin. "Indeed , " said ho. "I mow an elegant fellow in "Wisconsin. Hols ono of the brightest niul brainiest men I know , " "You do , and who Is hoi" said I , 'Ills uunio U Uusk , " replied thotuio-leggcd lostoiilim. "Ho Is governor o ( the state. " Ves , " said I cooly , as I looled the cue-leg , peel iiuxn In tlio eye , "I know him butter than oudo , nnd lean tell you , you uro mistaken n your opinion of him. Ho's n whelp. " " \Vhutl" \ slid ( ho man , nud ho jumped 'rom his seat und pniuced nrouud on hU ono eg as if bo wore golu to gut mad. lie urned to go away nud I called him buck igulu nnd made liliu tit down. As ha took us chair I soUl , "Jl seema to tao that I Uavo met you boforo. Have you over tccu In i" Washington - > "YcH"wnslho reply. - - - "Have youcvor bccfl before the invalids' pension committee of thehouwl1' ' . 4Vos , " ho again replied , "and were you there ! " . ' 4Yes8nidI , "Iwastlrachalrmanof that ommlttce. " 0 "Why , " snldtbomnn , "rou'KB otii utsK iiiMsrir , " and with that wo azain ihook. The twin hul not seen mo for yoara and nir hnlr utid bcnnl hint grown white. Under that little travel ing cap ho did not know mo , and I don't Riipposo ho would have foeognifced mo under the title. I got a now bat n day or so Inter ami I found things us plcaidut as I could wish. " I mot Jus tko Biilloy fotchr supreme cour nt Deer 1'ark. ' Hcloft U'lishlnwton nt the close of the seislonnot fooling ntull veil and catno to the mountains expecting to spend butafow dnjs. Ills health improved so aplilly that IIP brounhtiip liU family and do- lued to reinnln for the suinmur. Thiro Is no lore remarkable man In the United States dA * liradloy. bouttlvo feet so\en high , ho bmnt tcvoiity-s < 'ven jcnrsof goat sDilngyawalk nnd asgooJn digestion s any voutifrl.nvjer of thiity. lie conies rU'lnallvfrom Kwv Vorlr , nndwhen I : net lijuthootheruiKht I asKed him as to tlio ruth of the story nbout his boyhood , nnd hut ho was asked vhen ho was ten yeara Id as to what lie was going to > o nud had demurely replied that ho hud not ct decided \\hotlier hovould bo piesldcnt f tlio United States orjustlcoof the supreme ; ourt. Justlco I3radluy vopllcd. " o. that vai not the corieet btory , but soraotlilnjj enlly dM ociiir llko it I had been reading i history of Kngliind and wasinuih interested n Charles I.Vlii'ii tlio above question wis islced 1110 I replied that I wanted to bo ither a JUDOI : on v mva ndtbat od the vholol luid decided that I vould r.itherbo njudye , as I fouud that the udgcs hilled kluys. " .lustico Biadloy has oiioof the raostrc- narlfixblo nimls of the country. Ho Is a noted matho- natlclaiiandono of the curiosities of his con- titutionls th.it ho rum to llguios for rest. le likes to roelcon up the hour tli.it the un will sot uu the odd days of the year BODO , or Instance , and ho has been even known to nnku almanacs und calendars of various cinds forfnn Iteis now amusing himself at Deer I'nik in this way and the first nl&litho irilved hocnt oat and staked oil naumlor > f points fioiu the north star , and tie lias sitico calculated the altitude , the latitude and .ho longitude of his present situation. lie seeps the malls hot \vitli letters to thoollliers of the geological survey , nnd ho has a belter cnowledgc of wliero Door I'.irlt actually is , liai : any other nun in Iho country. 1 found lim Hguriitg away in the writing room the ither night , covuiny a sheet of foolscap with algebraic signs , and ho is , tone no , nn intellectual voudcr. Ho is > noof the alilost Juroi-awhooversnt uiioiitho jench , and you \\lll lind his opinions In more than foity volumes of our supreme court ro- > orts. lie worlts about ten hours a day .vlien . hois in Washington on supreme court work , Jind hodoctlt till for puw lo\eof the woilc. He could Imvo retlicd alialfa doicn anil inoro years ago , but ho sticks to tlio > ench tw though ho hud a reputation to mike nstcadof liavingniadoone , and ho will die with a law book in his'i.iml ' , I akcd him to day as to wliethcr he , thought the law of fered as many advantages to young men today as It did when hocntcied upon Its practice. Iloruplbd , "I tblnlc itdOes , though tlio coiu- pelitionls gieatur. Still tliero is nioio money Lobo mule attholawnow than ever before. The fees are higher and the practice U chang ing to correspond with the changes in life in d civilisation. " "Do you think , judge , " said I , "that the lawyers of today are : is great in their profes sion as were the lawyers of the past ! " "I don't ' know , " suid Justlco Br.idloy. " 1 doubt much whether wo have nny greater lawyers today than we had in the past. The lawyers of today have too much to do , and too Uttloti mo to think. Jt Li thought upon , law ( luostions that makes tlio matured mind of the lawyer nnd the fact that questions are being settled by laws give the lawyer IUSS plIXhlXOTO DO. iVcoilo \voiilddccIJoevcry question would bo the death to urcitness among lnw- yers. Jt would , lu fact , cause their Intellec tual suicide. " . -jjjk "Do you .remember your first feejudso ? " said r. "N"o , " was the reply , "I caii'tsny that Iclo. I did a , lot of sinnll Join before I got big ones. I taught while i. was in college and while I was studying law at .Newark , X J.,1 , edited fora short time a newspaper there , I was sent byit to Trenton asltscorrcspondoiitand tliero reporting the leyislaturo I acciuircd ti good acqualntnucoltli \ incii all over the state vhich helped mo in my practice. I praetiiCil nt tha bar thirty years and I was admitted iu 1840. " Bnetiking of cieatluvyers recallsa cliat I had last week with Uncle Jerry Huslc about Walt . "Matt ' ' Carpeutor. Carpenter's widow1 said the secretary of agriculture , "is now liv ing In Milwaukee. ScnatorCaipontcr leftaii estate of about $90,000. This w.is made xip of his lifo Insurance policy of ' and his library , whlcli sold for about $10,000. Senator Carpenter mndo nri immense anwuiuof moiioy at the lav , but he never saved a cent , anil it was only iluo to his friends that his lifo insurance policy was kept up. Ho would Inivo allowed it to lapse i two had not urged him again and again to attend to it end lind not seen that be did at tend toll. j\s it was Ids wlfo was left enough to live upon , nud she has Increased the amount by careful IiivestMicnt. "Wbat was the secret , " "said I , "of Car penter's success I" "MnttCnipontcr , " icplied General Tlusk , "lindwonderful ability as a speaker , and ho was a greater lawyer than a statesunn. He hail that kind of ainind by whidi howns able tobelicvo tint every case ho took up had the right on his side , and what's more than that , ho could malto jou bellovo ItVlieu ho cimo to the senate ho had to decide for himself vvhicli side of a casowa ) the right one and ho told ipo oncoth.it . ho did not like it and that ho would prefer to have some one else _ i MA hi : THE iicisioroil : HIM , as lie might choose the wrong side , and in tint caio It would bo an iiitollatual impossi bility almost forliim to reverse his decision. "benator.Matt Carpenter , " said Cioveuioi Husk , "was a wdl read man , but hisgreitcst intellectual possession win his knowledge ol the blMo. lie Imow the Scriptures by heart nnd bo could quota verso and text in illustra tion of any point whether he was hofom a jury or upon thostunip. Ho often corrected pieachi'i-s in their quotations and when the storleseliniglnglitm with leading ndlssoluto lifo were published the people ot Wisconsin vould not lelioio them , nnd the preachers stood up for him , Ho told mo once how ho carao to make such a btiuly of the blblo. It was when lie began to study Uw. He wanted to betaken into the onlce of liutiis Choato and bo called upon Oboatent his law oflico in Boston for his ad- vlco nnd permission to study -with him. Clioato looked ut hi in for a moment and tlier aslipd him If be was la earnest. Ho replied that ho wai and Mr. Choato told Idni that if ho wanted to become a great law vor ho must go homo aiiilleain tlio bible by heart. The bible,1 said he , 'Is ' the foundation of all law nnd If you'want to become a great luwyci 3011 mubt Ituowlt. It you -want to mnke : wed speaker , study the ulblc , for the bible i. the foundation of all good speaking.1 Young Carpenter did not U \\hiittoimko \ of this advice , but ChOiito icfuMil toadnilt him to Ills otllco until ho hud Icaruod It ami ho wont homo mid beuaii the work , IIo worked day andiiigbt ferhovcn inontlis and at tbo end of thattlmocamo back to Choato bavin * . committed the \\liolu \ to inomoiy. Ho then stnctlcd 13laek ! > toiio nnd ICent , buthoonco told nw thnt he thought thut thetlino ho put In on the bible ; uis the bt'st sxnL | time of his \\holollfo. \ Hesaidho never madoaspeecl or tried a ease that ho did not use the knowl edge thus acquired tind the power the case TIlKMOHKOf Till : Illlll.i : ho threw Into It , His qtiotatloas alwaystoolf \\lth \ \ llio Jury and a slice of the old aiulncnv tcstaincut often bolstered up some very poor evidence. Matt Carpenter's llrsth.ir euso was ono in which bo appeared against his grandfather. Ho gained the suit anil re velvet ! a gold ring worth $3iusjds Hrst fee. " FlCAMC 0 , C.VIlPUNTEll. SiCKlicaJacliols the bnno of many lives ; tc cuixj nnd prevent this annoying complaint use Dr. .1. II. JIcLwa's Uttlo Ll\er \ mid Klduej 1'illets. U'hoy are ngreenblo to take and gentle tlo in their act ion. Dr , Birnoy cures natnrrli , Bee bldg. O i Mr.Sealovo fat hh seushoro cottago-M ) ) clear , pleasotellyour djiugbter to sing some thing less doleful. Mrs , tJealovc-Ttut I not our duuguttr , my love , U'hat Ij tbo fog horn. horn.Dr Dr , Bivnoy cures catarrli , Bco THOUGHTS IX LIGHTER VEI ! Trifles Light as .Air for the Delectation of Summer Icad.'rs. WHAT DUMLEY'S ' DOESKINS NEEDE "Mt'Our.ijjeniR ? ! t from Mlts AElntJin * 1'aiia DIIIIQ but "Wouldn't t-TIio Kirs Ditl it-Sumo Air Ai'ooinplhliodtlioSntnf Purpose. \Vashinpton Post : "Dkl you to to tlio ounlry for iv vncatlon 1" usl < ed ono buslticj'J ' nun of iinothcr. "Ko ; Ipub lutwico txi mnny lioura tit tlio fllcc und got just ns tlivd tli.it way. " lie KjilliorMliOH It. AVhltcsldo HcniM : U'nitcr ll.ikoil turk- hoit-rlbs-bocJ-bi-oivii potaloos veal stcff , oust pork nn' npplosatu , blown brcaJ , Ice mi' ' tun ! IU11 Umpire Just bring 1110 tlio usual tiling. " \Vaitcr-tIo\v \ , sah ? 33,11. tlniplroA roast , please , Tin ; I Use nnd I'lill , Clothier txiul Furnisher : .Brlffps-Thcj' ; ay \vutch Itcep- * better tiincwhcu It Is kept nt n certain dlstnii co from tlie frwuiid. That nustbo why loiifals so irregular , -l don't sco tlw point. isputuo aooftcn. Sonic " \Vashinpton Post ! "So you culled on Miss tlintlinglo'B rather to nak lor herlumJl" "Yes. " ' Did he glvoyotiiiny oncourascinontl" A Uttlo. Ho said hollkod ni'nerve , " Tlirro U'usn't Itooin. Kew "i'ork Sun : TotlliiK'-t soothatoncof .ho . authors of "Beautiful Snow'1 Is ilcad. Dimllng Did thoioat attend tlio futier.ill * iV Scotcli IllUV-rcncp. St L.otis ! liopubllc : An old Scotch lady vlio lived a consiclornblo distance fioui tlio clmrcli was in theliubitof driving ever to the service , Her coichuwn , vhcti ho eonsMcreil the sermon iio.irly nt an ciul , would slip out qulotly for the purpose of mvliiK the cnrrlngo icacl.v by tlio tlmo tlio scnlco vas concluded Ono Sunday John otuvnod to tlio ihurth ami , after lian inff iboat thedoois fora considcraolo time , prow injiltient , anil , i > opphig hi his head , discov ered the minister iirKiiliiK1 ns hard i over. Jreepiiigiloxvn thonislo to\vu'.l , his mistress , 10 vnisperedi "Is ho no near chino yetl" 'Dunel" returned tlio old lady Iti u high state of Indignation , for her pitienco liad hcui uxhautitcd , "he's half an boor since , but he'll nastou. " SjtlllC Slll 3ll. Head of the House Mr. Amulet , [ don't object to jour coming to the bouse , jutyou must stop smoking thobovilo cipar- ttcs hi the jurlor , The smell is all over the louse. "VouiigMan I liavcn't ' been sreokinj cigar ettes , sir , Ileucl of tbo House Heavens ! Ileftthoso ovcishots in thu'ou'ii I ri Oiil It. I'hlladolplila Times : A r.u-islan dandy re- conllv had a cr.iyon xiictureof liimselt niaJo , which boiiftcrvvatd pretended to find fault with. with.It It docs not benrthcsliprhtest resemblance to me , " ho said , "and I\villuot tnko it , " The artist protested , but all to no avail. All rik'ht , sir. " ho remarked finally , "if It don't ' look at all like you , of course I can't reasonably expect to fjct paid for it. " After tuo diuutytindlotttlio printer added to tbo portrait nmagnificent piir ot nsses' can nnd exhibited it in a vviudowthusaltered to the ga/e ot the curious public. It had not been long ao exposed \vhcn , the dandy brol into tlio artist's studio in n. rajo ; , and Ihidiui ? that thi-cats ainountcil to nothing lie at Lust offered to luy it at a coubiderablo advance upon tboori ul price. It wasn't strange you dida't recognize your rcscmbianco to the picture nt llrit , " said the painter , "but ! knew you'd notice the likeness as soon as I added these ears. " Inyiii in a Stool ; . Munsey's Weekly : Young Man Iwant halt a do/on cii Uement [ ; rings , assorted sizes. Jeweler Ono it usually enough at a time , sir. Young Man I know It , tout I'm going down to the seashore for two weeks. TI > o > r lcl Jincl tlio Hoc. JDni/7iiMoii ( / ( RcpubKcmi A yell rang outl Tlio distant wood lie-echoed with the cryi 'Tvas such a shout J\s Stvn tor could N"otecinal if ho try. I hastened there The qniv'riis air Seemed racked as If pain ; .And saw a. maid Dcop In the glade , Shiiokingvith ml0'ht nnd nnln. Spiingiiu : tohor laskolto kuo\v \Vlnt inmlo her yell and tremble so ; Shosilid she'd picked abumble-ljce , Tbinlciiu'lt A\as \ a blactberreo. n He..ilth Oflleer-"IIaro you ever been iaoculatcd < " Jlr. Kroinloy ( rather apologetic.dlj * ) , "Free times , boss ; dn'sall , Health OWcor-"Whut for ? " Mr. liroinloyVonst fcr stealln' clilclt'ns. woust for 'tault and batt'ry , an' when I jint'd d' Masons. ; V AcOIH'lttC I > cllllltlIl. ( Xou * VorlcSani "Mnirni , whit's twins ! " asked the smallest child. 'Ikiuxv , " ropliocl anolderono.bofoio . the Mother could ans wer. 'Twins is two babies just the sanio URO , three bibioiaro triplets just the same ase , three biliiesaro , triplets , four aio rupcds , nnd llvo are centipcilcs. " s Ibr Jiivcntloiu , Munsey's U'cekly : A trap on tbo spur of the moment for fitting Ideas. By u Literary Man. A pracoful sleight ot hand , By n AVooed. Maiden. A stiitloniiry frame of mind. By an Absent iMIiidedMnn. A susnciidcr for the animation of infimtJ , Hyn PJaehelor. A new tinio killer. By a City Cousin in the Country , A focus for the oycs of passengers on tbo stieut cars. By a Bashful Man , llct vcoii Two l < l-'rcddlo I have the hardest luck I ever heiird of , III * HlotherVliat mikes you think so , Froddiol Tieddlo "NMiy , vheiil'in well I Imvo to go toHcliool , nnd wlicu I'm sick you n-'ako mo take that iinsty cod liver oil. A it other ICxir | < > -.slori AViinlliilatcd , Smith , Guy ! i Co.'s ' Montnly ; "Ilowaro dlco iiiiuloi" "Isupfoso tlioy.ive cut ou of bono or Ivory. " "Then the ole baylnir mist bowronu. " "What old saying ! " " 1'ho dlo is cast. " _ Or o Counter llc'partoo , Clothier nnd Furnisher : StnartlelshV111 \ you ifu.ir.mteo tint the color of this polka del nock tlo will hold on a wet duyl lluddleiph Yes ; the color \\lll not runhut , tlio rain will knock tlio .spots out of It. Tlio liiiiinir in a Hot ? . Smith , Gray & Co.'s ' loathly : Drown Can you toll me what Is tlio funniest pait ol Smith Ills tail , I ciiess ; It's such a MM- . Hro-\n \ Jtol Tlio funniest put of a do0' Is his lungs. Binitu--IIow clo you malto that outl Hro-m 'llioy are the seat of Ills pants don't jou scol Offered IIin Coiuloleiioc , Munsoy'a Wocklyi MiQooUn Yo inow ino brother Molko I O'Kasjaii-Oi lo. McGookln IIo's gene to do state legisla ture. ture.O'liasanPocr O'liasan-Pocr dlvll I Hov lou ? \vas ho slut up for ! An nxunllocl 1'ost. New Orleans I'lcayunoi A boy who ran way with an "Undo Tom's Cabin'1 ' troupe horn tilt lie la now leading imu ol J of the company , He load tbc donkey lo and from the train In oncnigtit towns. HtMVUttfl . Washington 1'osti "Yon'vJ been rlillucrn bicycle , I lieiir/'saijonodeuartmcut ' clerk to anotlicr. "Just for cxnctso , you know. " "It has i-cdacod 'your velghl some , 1 think , " "Yes , I have f.dlea off a groU doil. " Dr , Birney cures eutki-rli , BOJ blJ { ; . UI.O CIC/VI1U ltU > .VINt ! . , V Thrilling I'nstlnici Kiijoyoil ilnriiiK tlio Ij.ite UnpleiiHiiiittirHs. n'tiltcnfnr' Tlic lice. Ono of the most Impjrtaiit incasuwa for tlio siippic ion of the rotwlllon W.M tlu Idocltido of the sojthera cout. The tiuk was herculean , with tbo naval forcJo at the disposal ot the gavornnuiit. Heiieo nliivgo numb.'r of vessels waa purehwed fro.n . prl- NiteparUoj , principally tlio llao OCMII steam. crs that formerly wcro in thowuthumtr.uto. Tlieso were ilttud up nt the navy yard ) , nrinclandseiitoa" the oust to form n block- ndlngsciuadron. Tims in 1SC1 thcrovn in admirable foivo of blocltivdoM , the North Atlantic siuudran cautnlnliig atoiio sevcnty- ono vessels carrying four hunlrej and seventy guns , aid tlio South Athvitie sijuaJ- ron vlth sevonty-live'VCSJolsaud nearly four Imndrecl guns. l > oit after nort was closed , ami captures were numroiu : , yet thcro re mained ono port widen it seemed Impossibla to effectually close , namely "Wilmington , N.O. The defences vcro supcilor and iiatuw bad favoicd the poit with two entrance ) , on oppo site sides of n protecting shoal. The blockaders - aders , being wooden vessels , were obliged to kcepout of range of the heavy gun3 ot Fort I'lsher nnd Tort C.iswell , and therefore could only pitiol tlw coast forming a cordon through which Uocludo runners weio obliged to puss In older to enter the mouth ot Cape Fear river. Tlio utmost vigilmce prompted by n spirit of riuilry between the different vessels of the licet and In hopes ofprizn money incited In the hc.irtsof olllcen and men often proved unavailing.Vhonundercoer ofa dark and stormy night some \cnt\nesomo Uocndo runner would get in , and in tlio early mornIng - Ing light be scon safely anchored under the guns of the foils. Tlio bloc.ido runners were built for speed , some with feathering paddles which struck tlio water iiolsalos iy. They weio long and low nnd pilntcit a light dirt color , so as not to bo outlined on a daik night njjahist the white Hue of surf on the shore. They carried no armament as that would make them prl- vatecislthout lic-inse , as they sailed under no Hag and wow literally outlaws , No "run ning" were attempted in the dnjtimc , and life on thoblockaao was monotonous enough during the long hours of davlight. Thcro were usinlly from twelve to twenty vcsseh stationed \Yilniington at ono time , the others being stationed at points above and below. In fair \\cathcr the vessels would generally congregate about the Hag ship. Thocaptnlns vould visit the admiral and ie- ccive otdcrs for tlio night and get the concerted signal by vhlch the vessels of the licet were recog' nUed and distinguished from "strangers. " Ofliccrs vould visit and ccineat old friend ships or form , now ones. But the grand event ono anticipated with tbo fondest emotions , was. the arrival of a mail from the north , which wis biouglitdovn every week by the supply ship bilnging stores. A vessel \\oulcl bo .sighted on the ho rizon Every eye would turn in thaj. direc tion , the hours would pass slowly tUt the ves sel npproaeh ing could bo reeog/fzed , If It bore mail , signals announcedtlio fact longhe- foresho Mas within roach , und whoa the sig nal "Send foryourimiil , " was seen floating at the masthead , there was great oxcitoin cut all over the vessel. At bunsot , however , preparations for the night occupied ovuy lieartand hand , Tlio anchor was heaved , the guns uulhibered , the signal lunterns placed in the covered box on the after deck , the watch set and business had begun. Ilopei , before dashed , lilw flow ers that revive with thocvenlng ilow , bright ened again , and nil waited lor the giatoful night that this tirao might bo fraught with success. No lights wen permitted to be cv- posolonthoessel. . " \Voo to the luckless ono who lot his light shine from unguarded 'poit- holoor who heedlessly struck a inatcli under cover of the bill .varks. Klghthas now settled down yes , virtually settled down resting on the bosom of the great deep , steeping it with Its OMB dudcncss , till sea nnd slty are indistinguishable. N"owl ye dare-devils of the ocean 1 now Is your tlmo to steal in with your cargoes of supplies for thoiebels or. steal out with your dollar-a- pound llceey product of blood-stained south ern Holds , .All Is qulot on the dock of the blockadcr. JTot a sound above a wblspo'1 is allowed. With slow-moving engines the pi- trolls begun. Up the coast a few miles till it meets the vessel on the next beat , then about and do\vn again till it meets the vessel below , the silent watcher moves. Hut the man on the lookout forward has suspicions. A sailor's ' eye can see mthodark. Bo could have found Moses "when the light went ouf'niid ' solved that knotty question. Well , suspicions grow into reality and the word is pn.ssed along "Vessel in sight. " Thowatcli below is called. The men como up quietly nndpassto their quarters nt the guns Every man knows his place ; the odlcers gather on the o.uai tor-deck ; the surgeon gets his In struments ready in the cock-pit. A quarter master goes down Into the nugtulno nnd the powder monkeys buckle on tuoiramnumitlor ! buckets and station themselves from the magazine hatch to the ladders that lead to thegim deck. Lifo is measured sometimes by periods of nnxioty or suspense In this cuso suspense Is the tape line and it incnsurut many yards. What is the strange vessel that appears a blacker ink spot on thoblacK page of night ? A confederate war vessel or a harmless blockadoruiiner ? If the former , a conflict might lead to glory or the giave. If the lat ter , to pri o money the envy of thellect. AVe shall sec , A lantern is waved from the deck , another of a different color succeeds , and tlio concerted signal of thellcot being gi\en. \ If the stranger fails to reply properly by lan tern. then A\eU then , A boom from the forward pivot gun rolls llko the nolso of a ball in a bowling alley over the water , nnd the blight Hash that procedcsit "knocks spots' ' in the diirknws. The captain sends word to the engineer to put on lull speed , Steam Is crowded on. The ship tears Its way through the resisting water as the maddened door crushes a path , through the dense thicket. Hut does the stranger wait ? Oh no , if a blockauo runner. She assumes the liools of the swift footed Mercury nnd cleaves the daiknessns though to vrnpliersclf Insoinauy folds of its mantle as to become invisible. On through the night the ehuso continues. Flash after Hush from the bloekader's ' for ward gun forms nniinhturothundorstormln , which the rain is lion. It is pitiless. Yes , It is pitiless , but IWIona has no boaitAnd men who love Bellona must give up tlicir hearts and boeomo ituenlng wolves , for tlio time , lilood heated by war becomes poison. It maddens , it Intoxicates , It would make an mmd a devil , " \Vlmt Is this ? Th9 pursued vessel has stopped , a lantern la hung out over her stein. She suirondcrs. Thin wild cheeis burst forth fiom the blockuler , This nljht has been our turn , and 0110 less blockade runner will try to evade our vigilance. Soon a boat's crew is alongside the prlye , tbo men armed with pistol nnd cutlasa , The captain of the runner aeiicla Ilia mon forward , and mooting thoofllcer in charge of the boat , gracefully - or ungracefully , as ills manner may bo ghcs up his vessel to the captor. At daylight the crow Is transferred to the man-of-ivarandput under guard , A prize crew Is placed on the captured vessel und she is bent north to bo sold , one-half of the procced going to tlio .government and the otbor half to bo divided pro rat a among the ofllceu and men of the capturing vctsol. Itoforined and regenerated the "prim" iniy be down on the blockade in a lev weeks , doing valiant duty for Undo Sam. II. 0. VGIESOX , Dr. Dlrncy cures catarrh , lice Uclg , Clothier and Furnisher : A neat tlo much used by members of tlio tlieatric.il profession Is over three feet long and madoof wool. An odd effect In isuspeiider buttons is pro duced by a shoo strinjjand a safety match , Koverplacoyourauarf-pln in the middle of your scarf. Always put It on oats side and tjlvo thouocktio ncuuneo to bo ticard , Tlmo table trousers nro now worn by sub urban residents. They giv * thg arrival aud departure of all trains and cull out the names of the stations. Brazilian bugs uro worn by hotel cleric. Most of them are born on the pieinlsos nud p.dntcd given for the occasion. In ( Jhicago beef will bo dressed much the same M in previous yean. Dr , 13irnoy cures cntnrrh , Bee Tin ; Thonsiu 0 incur ihtes i\lll \ imlco n long itny , Ko tnun or oninii now llrlng will ever data i Jocuncnt ulthout using the fHjure 0. It lUncl ) In tbo th I nip ) ace In 1WO , wliero \vlllreranln ten years and limn move up to second plaoa la Hioo , nherolt ulll rcstforonu hundrrjyonrs. There is nn3tlKt"O"\vhiehluisnUo \ como < o tny , It Is unlikctlio ( Iguro0 hi our diilos Intlio rospccl that It hiia ilronily timcil ujito Ctst jilaco , x\hctl It will iiornianeiilly ixniain. It Hcullod tlio"Xo J" lllch Ann Wk'clur.V ' , Wilson Sewing Mnchlno. The "No.91' vas uiidorscJ fordrst | > lncoby tlis Mpcrtsol l.uroi nt the Purls Imposition o ( 1880 , borc , after nsocru contest \vlthllioloncltnc mil' eld tin of thu vorld , It vns n\nrdcj \ Uio cmlj ( JraiiJ Prize given to linilly Bowing Timeblncs , nil tthction nthiblt hiuliiK nei'lMj lower mvardj Of gold nicila'.a , otc. The French Government al ncoBiilzcd lttiuicriorlly | bj llmdoconilloii ol Mr. HallmclelMiecUr , Prc'Uoiitof tliocomuauy , with tbo Cross ot llio Legion of Honor. Tbo "No. 0" Isnotsu old niwhinc ImrrovcJ ( ion , b-itis an entirely jmv macliliio. ami tlio Grand Prlzsnt 1'ansiis nunnlcj It as tbu Brunei' est advance In rc in mcclilno meciinnhin of the tgo. Thoto , uho buy It c.in n.-tt assured , there , lore , cr hmlng the vuy latest auj butt. VFUEELEll & T7II.SON M'P'O CO , , 185 and 187 V/ubnah. Avo. , Objc.a ja P. E. FLODMAN & CO. 220North Sixteenth Street. Physicians , Surgeons and Specialists. 14OO DOUCL.AS 01IAIIA , NEB. The most widely nnd favornblv known spcc- lallsts in the United Stilus. Thdr Ion ; ox- perlcnoo.roiuarlciiljlo sMll und uiilvera.il suc cess In the treatment and euro of Nervous , Chrimlo nnd Surgical Il'sotiBC' ' ' ? . cntttlo these eminent physicians to the full confluence of the alluded p\orywher < \ They uuarnntoo : A. OKKTAIS AND POSITIVE CUItB for the awful oiroctq of early vlco and tlio numer ous evils that ( allow In Its train , IMIIVATK , 1II.OOD AND S1C1N DTSHASES sppoillly , coninlot ly and ponnanrntly ournd. NERVOUS IIUUIUTY A.NI ) SIIXUAL DW- OHDEUSylolUioadlly to tholr sUIIlf ul troat- inorit , PILES , FISTULA AND RECTAL ULCKR3 Kiiarantcod cured without palu' or detention from business. UVUUOOISLD AND TAIJirOOELE porina- nontlv und Bticcosstully ourccl Jnovciyoaso. BY1U1IUS. GONOKHIIEA , OLDBT , Spcr- Scn.lnalVuikn > 4 , Lostfllanhood , JJcoajtd Faculties , remain dclluatu disorders iii'eullur to elthor BOX posltlvoly cured , us well no nil functional dlsoidcrs tint result from youth ful folllosor tlio excess of mature yours. Tk'IPTlINK ' Ouarnntoed pomiunontly OL l\tv l u l\K < cured , removal co'niilcto , without cutting , caustloor < lllatilloii. Ourca affected nt lioino by patient without a uio- tucnt's pain or annoyance. TO YOUNG AND MIDDLE-AGED WhN. AQ1TT5R nill1-'lio ? awful olTocts of OUi\li orpnnlo veiikncss. destroying both iiiln.l body , with all Its dreaded Ills , [ lernianenty cured. HTO'J ' TiPT'N Address these who Invo Im- LJi\i ) , UUiiJ piiriid tliomsolips by Im proper Indulgence nnd solitary hiblts , whlcli riilnbotlimlnd and body , unfitting tlieiu for business , stuilv or marrliKi . MAIICIiU : MiN : or those t-ntcrlnsjon tint happy life , aware of physical debility , quloltly aaslited. OUR SUCOB5S Is based upoti f.icts. Klrst Fraotlaal experl- rnco. Second Every ca o ls lo ) < lllly studied , thus starting rlBht. Tlilrd-Medloliies are propircd lu our laborjlory oxnotly to .suit euc'licnso , thimirei.tliigcurc3 without Injury , Drs. Betts & Betls , 1409 DOUGLAS STREET , - - OMAHA. NEB. NERVE AWD BRAIN TREATMENT. ? peel flo for Mretcrla. DlzrlnMi.Fiti , K uralI , Wnk < v ulUi8 , Mental Iwproulon. hafrenfnsr or tlio Uraln.ro * eultliifr in Insanity u.il lu&'llnir to inUrry cUrav jr 1 death , Irtfm turo Olil Atfpliair"imew loss tf roMer Inolifier in , Imolimtiry LoitcH.ftml ti-ermratjirhu'a | cauttel by of ortxortlool the train , ceir-tbuko or overlnjulgenco. KacliboT eotitaliinoueriontt'i * licit- ment. SutKH , or cli tor 8) . nut ijy inait | > rcpal < L With each order for MX ItoifS. will MiiU imnha r sruarint u lo nfund money U tlio troitmnUfalJjtO euro , Uutrantcculvaued utidcenuino GOODMAN DRUG CO. , lllOKunmui&trcot , Oinnhii , Neb , r * limn ifvii "WA.siiTvorov. on 5. AlUUriUUM l' K * Sound. I'acltto CoasJ r 111 till MB r fl Termlnm ( ireat Nor- I nilill'Ttl t-ltt - ttlrn ( ! ii , . v t rcinurces In CAlno Co < i" . Jrou nn < J lliubcr , nlrciuly ullllzlnu thouiunuiof nirnuniliiillllviiH otdollnri. Malchlcn hiirtior.nctremilioniien Hru.Vimttlilinilnirlnlcrt.-iti. ' 1'lirco nillro.titi. fcolM ironth Inonu your from nolh , Iriirtopopiilntlon of 41K ) ( U.H. OnsiiBlancl r J valuatlonor K'.KOJicju. ' Klccttlo llshts , flectric utrcet rullwuyB.fas , wutur nrk . I'litijuallcil onportiinl. lloilur iirnlitnlilo Invi'SlnlcnlJ , simlnl . . . 1(1 , , 1'ulilmvcuVuiUlUKluu , LATfS/ / " IREUCH SPECIFIC. A POSITIVEincl pttmaBfot CU RE for all aiMuoa of tin U RIN ARY ORGANS , Cures where other treatment faili. Fall ( ilrectlonswltheaoh bottlo. Price , ono dollar. Bee ilgnattiro of L- U'liUL. For Sale By All i > ' < TUi' . ii } unuiLw it. , x.r. OF NOTI M " > VJl * --JI IIIIIII'vl. M ! \ IHV The Uli otjr-third Session "Will Open on TUESDAY , SEPTEMBER 0. II II Illl IIMl S | S- - CI.A'-SIf5 , LAW. sriENCT. \THI"M\Tli . Ml I II \ > | t'AI , AN'D CIVIL LI" " * Mt Ml' . AM > A TIIUUul ( ill I'UMMllUMU , COl'USi : . I'S.cdnl | iiiKniitinji'i nri'niMo I lii iinliMili nf Ih 1. uOil1 UIT > HNTniul : uf llio Dil'AllTMl > T ( MlO i\\iiMI , KM.INILIIINU. HT. I'DWAltlls IIAI.l f.ii Hoys niuliT 11 > n.r < , M tmliiiip til llio r ln | > lct ness utlls oiulimi'iila ] OAT.M O'.i'iulvlin ' : f ill pirtluil ir < n .11 ( in t'nt fire nil n | > , illi'nllOM ( o HHV. T. . \VAl.sil i ; c\ c. , I'IU. > W > INT : Niirin : DAME , IMIIAX.I. ' St. .MARY'S ACADEMY , Nellie Book " Ely's , "Around the World in 72 Dnys. " ( CHA.S13 At KUDV , HOOKSIMIIS ; : AXD STATIOXKHS i\GUATKlJS : AXD 1'UIXTIJItS , rni : r num voiuii IIAMII i NIU i llt : Sciuth Kith Street. Tlio Will Acncluiulc term will oicn Moncliif. Sc-iit BtU SCHOOL OF ART AND DESIGN xxx - ! Conservatory ot Musi a X. Tlio Aoai'piiiloCoiirxi ' I'thoroinjli In llio 1'rcpara * li ry ' fnlor mill C'lniih : il liriuli't Muxlo licp.irt * Agents Wanted ! nn'iil on llu < plnh of Iht > ho < t C'i H'ornildrli'H of KurV | opt-.li tiiiili-r cluirKiMir ii innipMc < ; uri-of | tciuln'rs. PortraitsKnlnrKod to nny blzc. Miiillo iiiinlc'loiUni tlio troll Arl Sriiimli < f Kuropo. \Tlll r 11r il T.trel "J ClUlof u j lli.iwlni ; niul 1'alnlliu Inun llru nnd tlm unll < | iio. Clhija Eoctrl : Lch ! ! : : ; ! : : C : . 1 iMiilin.il l'liniii > Kr.ili nllli | > niul tire 'lyio-wrUliik' liuiKlil . IliillillnKH | | | IVCIIL > A fpiir.i ( ( > ilpiurlmuu * 21510253 E. llnnilolph St. I for ilillilr'ii unil'-r 1.1. Aiuh | lor uuininuuo to O , 111' . Miillini H'l'KIIIOH.vi' SAU\ | AC\lihM\NurilB : DAMI. I1 , o , sr imipii On .vn , IMIUSA lAILEY , Graduate Dentist , Set of Teeth on Rubber FOR FIVE DOLLARS. A perfect fit guaranteed. Tcotli extracted without puin or clainnfTo , anil with out anaesthetics. Gold and silver Illlings nt lowest rates. Ijrlilgo mid Crown work. Tcotli without platos. All work warranted. Office Paxton Block , 16th and Farnain Streets Entrance IGth street olovntor. Open eveuinjjs until 8 o'clock. The Omaha Medical and Surgeail Institu6 Korllio trcalmontof nil CIIIIONIO AND SUIlOIOAr * D1SKVSK9. IJraie * . Appllancoi for iloformllloi n < l TillflsO" . licit I'ncHHIoi. Apparatus nnl UcmoiIlM ror iiiu < 8rnl Irnnlmcuitor cvury form ( if ill mi e rot qulrlnxiiirillcnlorniirnlc-illroaliiicnt. ONI ] IIUNDUKI ) AMI 'rWKM'V-llVIJ 11OCJMS KOI I I'ATIIS.Nri * nnnrilnnil Alluniliinro , Host nctnrnruoil'itlom In tlm wait.VrlU \ fur tlraulaia un D furiultlos anil llr.Koj. Trunos. Chili Foot , Ciirvuturon of thoSplno. I'lloi. Tuni'ir , Oinror , Ciitnrrli , llronolillli , Inlmlallnn. 13lno Irlcllr. r < irnlv l , Iliillcpiy , Klilncy.lllaililor.lIyc.Dnr , Skin nnd Illoocl nnil HllHUrulial oinT.'illims IIISIIAHIC3 OKOMi.N \ ; : i xpuclnlly. Hook f DHcaioiof Woniun \Voliivobl'jjr | mlil'il n l.yinj-lii ( Uiinrtincnt , for wonion ( luring ronllnainnnt otrlctlprlrato. . ) Onlr H.'lli'Jlj Mt-illcil Inntlliitii nnklru' n Hiocliilty of I'll 1 VAT 1 < DISIIASKS. AllblixiilcllaiaHOSMiccosafiillrlioileil Sypiilllllu poisonruinaruil from Iliu Hystotn wllhout inoiniirjr , Now Hualorntlva Trcitnient Tor losjuf vllnl piwor. I'lirlloi uiiablu to vltll us liny IHI Ircntodnt homo by cotre ponilonco. All ooininiinlcatloni cnnildontliil. Mcilldno or Inslmiiiuiiti sent by inallor oxiosH | necurcly pailtcd , nu mirks loliullcati ) corilonln or tender Ono iicriunuUntorilnwprufcrrodi Cnll nnd enuultiis omcimlilslory of jonrciifo , uinl o will oivl In nlnln wrniiuor our HUOKTU MKtl KHRCiipon I'rlTato bpcclul or Nervous IJlseisos , Impoloncy , S/iilillls Ulout , und VnrkoJUiu , with ijuciUoa llkt. Actdrt'sa Omaha Medical and Surgical Institute. Corner 9th and ITtirnoy Streets , Omahn , Nobrnska , Have removed to 1207 Douplns St. , onnosito Milliard Hotel. Stove Repairs for 1500 Different Stoves , Ranges and Furnaces. Wutcr Attachment I'lttcJ anil Connected. Onsolliionuil Gnn Stoves Itopalicd. To I 000. ItOIJT. U1II.IO , I'roiirlotor , O. M , KATON. M ARE YOU BUILDING ? If so call and examine our fine line of nrt aoods , comprising Locks , Knobs , Escutcheons and Hinges , in nil finishes and designs/ I-IIMEBAUGI-I & TAYLOR , 14OB Douglas St. , Omaha. " " DEWE'Y & ST6NE , P tiriiittlire Oompanu , , A. maoniflcent display or everything useful nnd ornamental Inth j furniture mnher'sarlat reosonnblo prices. l , | * lntli luilt I Mi ; AUo. luby Juinyllk , IlllfcUf,8f tlrIli4 Oifli Trier- lit On , tr Itioic t nhM , * l * | rflr , iral I 0. I ) diortlmn I U Hpr f.r'i l o- ( > , ti I VT , tll4iK > a t < . . fl.ii.fu. U U lltutid Ku4 < e. innii > f t n wr l - k | C. tk UiUI fattUI III Ult TO WEAK BulTcrliil from llio inrc'Uot juiitlifiilrrrorc , < 'nrlr icciy , vva > llii.rwi > kni < , luit pmiiliixnl , < ! < , I "III eii'l ii IliUlnUo tnallre ( M-nlnl ) ciMilnlrlnu full purllciilsri tit home cure. I'llKB of criorfB. A. IiltuUlil niftllcal wcirk . ihould lia | vo4if \ fttrr ui mivlio U iiprvium niul . ! < l.lllluif J. Xitilnw , Vtof. V , C , IfOWttKU * iHouclU tC'ODU