TIDE OMAHA DADDY BED SUNDAY , AUGUST 3. 1890-T\YEI/VE / PAGES. 7
, . H4UROADS A3D. THE STATE.
* > I
"Eon , Oi M. . Laraberlsoa's Argument Before
the Interstate Commission ,
DEMAND FOR REDUCED RATES.
Universal Sentiment TliroiiKliout
tlio "West A Discussion of tlio
t'owcrsof tlio CoinnilBslou
lu ( tic Pro mines.
Following la the first portion of tlio address
delivered before the Inter-stato commerces
corarnUslon by Hon. 0. JI. Lamtocrtson on
July 9 , on the subject of freight rates in the
Btato of Nebraska. The concluding portion
of the address will IKJ published in another
issue !
Mr , Clinlmmn ami gentlemen of the Inter-
ftato commerce commission : This case , In-
I \ living us It docs million ! ° r dollars to lno
' Uxlroiiils on the one bnnannd the producers
un tlio other , Ls doubtless the most linporlant
that ever caino before the commission. By
your report of June UK to congress you ha 70
put yourself on record as favoring u reduc
tion of il cents pci1 hundred on com rntcdfrom
lown , Nebraska and Kansas. The precise
question is , whctheryou shall makonu order
witting this reduced rate lu oflcct. Youhuvo
Invited argument on this point at the solicita
tion of the railroads.
JL.CI mo say , in the first place , Hint I ap
pear on behalf of the Nebraska l-'arin-
crs1 Alliance , embracing 70,000 members ,
Jam authorized by a telegram from the gov
crnor to this effect :
"I'Icn-so represent the people of Nehraslca
before the Inter-stato eoiumurco commission
111 favor of lower rates. "
In addition to this I have hccn aslted by ono
or two members of the hoard of transports
tlon of the state of 2fabrtski : to urge you to
put in force at [ pastas lo\v \ n raio as that
, . -iound to bo roa-toiiublo in tlio report mnilo by
you to the United States senate , of data of
July 7.
In tlio second place , I think It proper to
, f late tlio nature nnd extent of tlio demand for
f the lower ratc.i on com. For a long time this
mutter lias hern a subject of agitation
v < through tlio state of Nebraska , amlmoropar-
Mlculnrly among the fai-mlnt ? clement ; and
' this alliance , composed of 70,01)0 ) members ,
A , with its numerous brniich organizations has
* * * "ijronitlnioto time
passed numerous rcsolu-
| ( Ions nnd made iiiauy petitions to congress ,
nnd , I think , to your lionorablo body also ,
, asking f or n reduction of the com rates llvo
or ton cents a hundred. The governor of
Nebruslcii , sonic tlino since , made a demand
upon the roads to reduce the rnto to fifteen
cents. U'ho letter is as follows :
HTATI : orNKiiiiAHKA , Kwutlvo Department
Lincoln. Jan. I'l , 1OT. To the Onncnil Mima-
COi-siit tlio II. & SI. railroad. Union 1'aelllc '
lallroLHl , I'lonxmt. I'.lkliom & Missouri Valley
railroad. Missouri Paolllo railroad Clilcns" .
Kiinus & Nor thorn mUroad.ClilfiiKO , St.l'atil ' ,
Minneapolis railroad in NulirnsLi CJcntlo-
nieiii Una laid visit through the central and
houlhcrii portimi.H of Nebraska Into tlio Ko-
jiulillran viillcy 1 saw inllllotis of luisliols ol
cnriily mi ; upon tlio ground or In bins , In all
dlrt'clloiH. Kiiimcricfirinol send tliolr cum to
wailrt. ; llioy cannot nit'ord topay tlie ralo.
Tlieqiuition thonrnlhcd Ilsulf In my in I nil ,
cniinnt tliorallmadi nn-ct tlioernerKtMicy by
loilwniK the lalo n > tint fartnc'ra can ship
thclrcornlii iniirkel ? If thnfitrincrs tuiiiiot
Blilp It , In points wheni It can bo sold
tlic-n thrro Is no use In thi'lr ' raising
corn , only onnujili to consume for tlit-m-
Pelves mm stuck. If farmers cannot prosper ,
tln'iirulluuilsnlll not prosper.
1 Miitndt llilsiiirMloii | : Canyon not adopt a
muiimiru nhlch will bring relief lu the far-
HUsH. to sumo extent , at Iwist ? C'nn you not
mlopla tnciisiuo which will enliven bvislnes-t ?
I most uarnuitlv urio you toruducu thorato
n cum to jiiarUot. nay 5 cents a liuuilred ,
_ lle.w tryit ; wo If It will riot start a portion
of tliH ciiintiHHllly , now lying Idlo.tu market.
Canyon not thus aid llio farmers and put
them In a cutter condition for spring opening.
1 askyou , ttiMilluniuu , tofet to ntlicr aildeon-
BlUerlhlaiiuuatloii. 1 uiu , very truly yours ,
JOHN MTn AVKII.
Subsequently ho addressed n second letter
to the roads , in which ho asked that a reduc-
ijonsliould bomudoto 10 cents , saylne thnt
A ( ) cents alone would afford properand imnic-
idiat relief. TJio Iward of transportation of
"tho state of Nebraska also requested the
roads to reduce the then current rate Scents
porbujidrpil , and finally made a tilp to
the city of Chicago , wucro they had a confer
cneo with the road nnd nuuto this same de
mand ; anil the result was that shortly after
ward a reduction of 2 cents was mado. I bo-
llovo that was February 17 , IS'JO. ' This will
convey to the commission some idea of how
BCiicnil and universal Is the demand for the
reduction of com rates in the west. Senator
Haddock , when ho offered the resolution un
der which this inquiry and investigation hns
been made , ] iut himself i i touch with the
universal soutlmont , not only of the state of
Nebraska , but In tlio wliolo far -ivcst. that nn
immediate nnd permanent reduction should
ibo made in the rules on grain.
i - Tioforo I proceed to n discussion of tta
\quc tton whether the proposed reduction to
17 cents per hundred from th'o Mis
souri river or a lo\ver rate
should bo miido I deslro to dis
cuss some points made In the brief Hied by
.thochairmiin of the Inttrstato commerce rail-
f ussociatloii , Mr.Valkcr. . The polnl
In in tbo brief , and I have not of eourso
had time to give it thnt careful examination
which itnnqiirstlonablydcscrves , is that you
propose to niaku nn \vithoutgiving him
mid the roads ho represonta a licaring , and
without havliiK served upon him or them ,
the rcciulrcd notice. Section 12 ot tno act to
l-cguluto commerce provides that It shall bo
thodiityof Hie commission to Inform itself of
nil matters of fai-tln regard to the manage
ment and control of railroads. How that
knowledge is to boobtnined Is not declared or
pointed out in the act , except th.it for the
purpo-HO of getting Information the commis
sion mayanbnutnaand mvcnr witnesses and
call uijoti Iho court , if necessary , to aid it in
obtaining the desired Information. Now
that , as I understand it , docs not mean that
tlio.so ara the only ways you can no
quire Inforniiition , but are simply
cumulatlvo. If the conuniasloti by private
inquiry of Its own , or by information volun-
tailly nivoii by the rends , oruy Information
however acquired , falls to obtain ivhat It
Avanta in order to obtain a clear understand-
iugof the miinagemotit and operation of the
Kc "d1 ? , it can tlieii subpisna witnesses anil en-
.Crt'iipou something akin to an investigation
of the.no matters in the courts. In the twelfth
section of the act wo llnd these words i
' Said commission shall inliko manner in
vestigate nny complaint fonvarded by the
railroad coimnhsioner or railroad commission
of nny state or tcirltory , "t the request of
such "commissioner or commission , and may
Institute an inquiry on Its own motion In the
Baino manner and to the same effect as though
complaint had been mado. " > To\v \ I do not
Icnow uiioawhat provision of the act you rest
your rluht to miilto this inqulrj * and follow it
withanorJer ; whether you arc acting under
the clause first road or whether you consider
.H"\ resolution Massed bv the sciintu
, ( na boiug in tlio uaturo of n
complaint. The report refori to
I -the resolution as beinprin the nntum of acorn-
' ilahit , but I do not think that thccommission
i -must necessarily rest its Jurisdiction upon
that ground. Theaet says that the commis
sion may Inatituto nny Inquiry on its own
motion. The objection mudo by llr. Walker
Js that there has been no couplutut. Well , if
your honorably baly is nctlnfr under this
, rertnliily no complnlnt la necessary ,
no it says you ahull proceed the MIUO as
Ittlo complaint nnd been Hied , which eertnla-
ly proceeds on the theory thnt nocomplalntU
required , unless ym talto the posit J on that
licn you entPr upon un Investigation of this
Iclnd you nnilco the complaint youwelves.
That , however , would to absurd , because to
maku a rotniilatiit yourselves would b simply
to predetermine that the rate wns excessive.
If you made a complaint you would luvo to
allege that the rates \vero excessive , which
would amount to alluding In advance of n
hearing , but under thnt clause 110 complaint
Is necessary. It says that the commission
shall proceed "in the tame mntinor and to
the sanio effect as though complaint had been
made. " The mennluK of that , 03 I under
stand it , Is that no notice shall to sent out ,
becausolf anotico wcro sent it would otten
defeat the object of your Investigation. In
order to tlnd the exact fucti and to afford
proper relief , and to give a remedy that
\ fwto effectIro and accoinvllsh the do-
sircd result , your Investigations must bo
inoro or less secret , tiol takn it that U this
honorable body li procecdhifr under that
clause , no complaint and no notlco would bo
u'coasnry. On the other hand I thluk tills
* 0atnsiHm ! may fairly say that they are act
ing under this resolution mid tu.it it ns a
complaint. The resolution certainly by Im
plication says that the Interstate commerce
. commission cither Is not doing Its duty , or
l hfl law Is not sufficient , and requires you to
mnko an Investigation whether the
rates are too high , and whether the
ln\v lurnlshw an adequate remedy ,
and what cnn bo done to en *
force It.Yhat 13 moro nat
ural after you have made an
investigation , and Rene Into this
whole matter , nnd have found that the rates
arc too high , than for you to say to congress !
T.IIMO rates are excessive but the law Is ado-
( luato to afford arnplu relief to those suffering
under the burdens of these excessive rates.
And then state : In accord with the findings
hero mn'lowo will mnko nn ordertnat alowcr
rate should go Into cftcct ,
Dut I take It that upon -whatever ground
your Jurisdiction rests or whatever may to
the character of the objections made , arnplo
notlco has l > ccn Riven.Vhcu this notice was
sent out of thodato of March 12 , nnd along
with it was transmitted a copy of the resolu
tion of the senate , the roads wcro fully J-
vised as to the tlnw when this inquiry would
take place. You asked them to appear
and put In testimony , and yo\i sent
them a copy of the resolution , so
thnt they might bo nnd were fully and com
pletely Informed ni to the nature , cxtcut , nnd
scope of the inquiry ; nnd they cannot bo
heard to say that they had no notice of what
was to te done. Now , what Is the object of
notice I It isslmitly to bring people who may
have aulnteiest In the Investigation before
the commission ; nnd were they not present )
Mr. Walker says that the representatives of
the roads wcio not present , tut 1 take it that
ho Is a representative of neirlv all the roads ,
tindl l < nuw when the commission In the
city of Lincoln , ftebrasUa , Mr. Walter vaa
there , and nearly all the general freight
agents of the roads wcro there. They wcro
also examined. The railroad companies put
on the stand four witnesses to ono put on tlio
stand by these who asked a reduction of the
rnto" . So it comes with ill eraco from these
companies to say now that they wro not
notified of the inquiry so that they could ap
pear and cross-exninlno witnesses and put
in evidence. They were there and
did cross-examlno witnesses nnd
did put in testimony. Air. Walker
himself presented a sworn statement
covering the whole ground. Now. it is
clairiicd that when the second notice -was
sent oht to the eastern roads that notice Avas
not sent to the western roads , or at leastto
all of the western roads , but-if I am not
tlio commission will correct rno I under
stand that the records of the commission
show that notice was sent to all the eastern
roads nnd n request of them tonppcnr nnd
pnt In testimony , and that notice was also
sent to nil tlio western roads tliat did not re
ceive the first notice. You did not , I believe ,
semi the lirst notice to all the western roads.
There wore three or four of these roads
which did not receive the flrat notieo. M'ho '
sccondnotlce , however , was sent to all these
roads , so that under the ono or other of these
notices all the eastern and western wads to
bo ail'ectett by this reduction wcro advised to
appear. 13ut it may bo said that inasmuch
ns you did not send the notlco to the three or
four western roads in question that you can
not make nn order against them. That may bo
rule but that would not prevent you irom
making nn order against those roads wlilch
vero iiroperly notllled ; that would bo Justus
effective , because If this rate is put in as to
one road it will bo voluntarily put in by the
others. Tlio others vlll be forced to como
in , and an order on ono road will to sulli-
clent.
I deslro now to say simply a yord or two
as to the character of a commission of this
hind. I do not take itthnt this eonimisiiun.
is a court at all , nor do I think that the rule
vuldi Mr.Vul kcr has Invoked In his brief
applies to a commission or ti-ibunal of this
kind , requiring a complaint , leg.il . notice , and
that they should bo advised of the exact is
sue and the object and seopo of the investi
gation , 1'he law seems to recognise this
fact , because It provides that after tbo com
mission lias made its order , the road can
have Its day in court. So long as a
road that Is to bo deprived of part of its
earnings can ha\o its day in court some time ,
that isbufikicut. Wo sco an application of
tlio rule contended for by ma in the adminis
tration of the laws authorizing1 the exercise
of the right of eminent domain , where the'
commissioners or appraisers make an exam
ination as to the value of the property , con-
tleiuii It and make their report to the county
court. Hero a man Is deprived of hli prop
erty. IIo is not heard at all , but ho has tbo
right to appeal to the district or circuit court ,
ivhuro ho can have a trial by Jury , and the
action of those inferior tribunals is sustained ,
bceauso ho can have his day in court some
time.
But even If this wcro a court , I afflm that
Viy every rule that governs appearance In a
suit , these people are la court. If they vero
in court before , they certainly
were in , court when they filed
n written protest or argument hero
against the pro posed action of this commls-
sooii , as they did on the Ittli ot June , and
that argument Is remarkable for the scant
courtesy with wide ti it treated the commis
sion , If it is remarkable in no other respect.
In that document the roads expressly ask to
bo permitted to read this testimony and to
make argument on the merits. Thntwould
ho an appcanmco in nny court of record ; be
fore any judicial tribunal. Mr , Walker In
this last brief signs himself simply ns Mr.
Walker-and not Mr. Walker , chairman of
the Interstate commerce railroad association ,
and thereby tries to outer a special appear
ance , although then ho signed himself chair
man of the association.
Can a party bring his roads hcforotho com
mission by as general appearance as possible ,
illo a prepared sworn statement covering the
whole subject matter , ndduco testimony ,
cross-oianiino witnesses , then later protest
against the mulhiRs of the court , reurguotuo
wholoquestioii.ink fora re-hearing1nndwhen
that is granted , specially appear * for the
first time nnd endeavor to convince the com
mission that It has no power to grunt such a
hearing , hear argument or make an order ]
Tlio special plea comes too late. Ey all the
rules thnt govern appearances in courts of
record , Mr. walker and tno roads bo repre
sents are in court. It the plea could oven bo
entertained in n tribunal of this character It
has been waived. Mr. Smith of the Iowa
commission reminds mo of the admission
made by IUr. "Walker In bis remarkable pro
test that the commission vertr.lly uotllied
Win that at the proper time it would malto an
order in harmony with tbe reiMrt made to
congress. Mr. Walker and his companies
can disappear from this case , but it is pre
posterous for him to assert that ho and his
roads have never teen In it. Mr , Wulkor
savs that if his order goes Into effect the com-
nifsslon will have the distinction of rendering-
the largest money judgment in the vrorld ,
Such lofty considerations doubtless weigh
with railway managers when , by a single
stroke of the pen , they raise the ratw 5 cents
a hundred and knock down without warn
ing the price of grain 2 or 3 cents per bushel.
The question of giving u. hearing to the pro
ducers before putting upon them a burden of
a million dollars or so Is never entertained ,
Now , 1 ivill como back to the question
whether the proposed order ought to bo
made , and right hero I deslro to say that wo
are in entire sympathy with the position
taken by llr. Beusnua of the board of trade
of ChlciiKU. "Wo believe the roads can stand
that , and wo also think that Chicago should
to put on exactly tuosnmo basis as St. Louis
nn/t Mlwnnirwltt ! en flint1. If n ntnn ti'ntita + r\
ship br way of Chicago to the seaboard ho
ought to bo permitted to do it at
the same rate that he could sent it
via St. Louis or Minneapolis. This is
a redaction which has been demanded by the
toard of transportation of the state of Ne
braska bj1 the governor of the stale and by
the different branches of the state fanners'
alliance. Your nctlon In this matter has re
ceived the approval of our people. Vou will
remember that Mr. C. II. Hereof tbo Lincoln
State Journal , and at ono time a member of
cur board of transportation , a man who has
given these matters a great deal ol thought
and who has always teen moro or less
friendly to railroads , was a witness before
you. I call your attention to an article pre
sumedly written by him , In which he ap
proves of the report of the commission. Ho
says i
Tlia Interstate commission has reported to
cnitRnss on the matter 'of grain rates ( rom
the wst. Thovllnd that aratnof ITceiiUpor
hundred from -Missouri river points to Chicago
Is reasonable anil fair , and that 10 cents from
the same win U to Mltsl.v.jlppl points U nunut
the rliJlit tliliiK. ThUreduction N about 'hat
was askedfroin the rondi luMwlntcr by the
stnto boanl ot transportation and the gov-
prnorof > ol > rutlE , urrUuctlim ot S ouuu a
hundred from Iho existing li'-cent rate from
Missouri river toClUoaso ,
Tbo rcKuU after u too < l deal nf consultation
dcc'lluod tbc roauctlim listed by the authori
ties here and KMiited ouo not nulto halt of
that ( li'inaud. 'llio report of tholntentnto
commercecmvMiiNslimwIIIdmilitlossresult In
tlio wtalilUumi'nt oflhu rate askudlor by the
board of trimsiurlatlon nnd llio governor ,
A pormimcMit rate of II eonu per hundred
frtniiMI Niurl rlvor iwluta will In time i-on-
aucuto tlio prosperity of tbo wi'stomeornro-
clong , It may have no Immediate effect on
the | > rlrt ) patd In Nebraska , but after atlmo
the IwiiotU will bu foltiiH It probably give * , lu
the Innic run. Unicorn producing states oINo-
braskit nnil ICuirias u lower iiroportlonal ruto
to tlio market.
The corporations uido a mistake wheutboy
totrantthoteductlon as cd bj the
of Iriiniportatlon. It would Imvq
- simplified tlilncs nnd nlhiycil much of
tbo political hostility to them lu the west ,
Dr , Birnoy cures catarrh , BCD bldff
Arahorst has received (30,000 ( to endow a
chair of hygiene.
Thcro nro sixteen girls' ' schools la Turkey ,
with over 1,000 lady students ,
Do Pauw University students support a
missionary under Bishop Taylor In Africa.
Harvard has had 1C.JUW graduates , of whom
GeorRO Bancroft , the historian , of tho-class of
1S17 , Is the oldest survivor.
The University of the city of Tfow York
lias decided to admit women to the classes of
the law department on. the same terms 0,1
men.
men.Rev. . Enrost C. Ulehardson , librarian ol
Iturlleld Theological Seminary , hos been
elected to the sjuio position in Princeton col-
lego.
lego.Professor
Professor IN'orman Dunshee , tvho taupht
ProHldeiitGarllcld Lntin and Greek nt Hi
ram. college , has just died at UcaMoiues ,
lowti.
Union Theological Seminary has received a
gift of 8100.000 from Mr. Ohnrles IJutler to
endoty thoKdward Hobinson chair of biblical
theology.
Oxford University hai decided by a vote of
seventy-live apiinst flfty-oiKlit that voincn
may to admitted to the examination ol the
dejjrco of bachelor of medicine.
Negroes of nil opes are Roing to school nt
Meansvillo , says the Savanna TCcws. One
no ro woman scvcnty-llvo years old goes and
carries hot children , and a negro man eighty
llvo years old attends school and la In his A
u va.
The gift of $100.000 $ toV'alo university for
a new dormitory is quite timely , as none of
the Incoming class will bo able to secure
rooms 011 the campus , and some sir hundred
students of the university will bo obliged to
secure rcoma outside the college ground * .
Miss Helen \Vebster , Ph. D.of Zurich ,
has been elected to open n department in
comparative philology at "Wellesloy coilepc.
Miss Webster obtained her degree cum
suunna liudo after a four years' course of
study , bclnu the third Avoman to obtaia this
honor.
One of the living graduate * of Harvard
college had his "commencement day" sev
en ty-threo years aiju. This U George Ban
croft , thohistoiiun , whowill bo ninety years
of ago Octobers next. IIo was only seven
teen nt hl $ graduation. He may now bo suld
to have taken tbo "longer course. "
Prof. C. tr. Baldwin , a critdtiate of Obcr-
Hit nnd for nine years professor of Latin in
Kipon collCKC , Wisconsin , lus bcea elected
president of Pomona college , California.
Prof. Baldwin has rare qualifications as a
teacher nnd anIiisplrinjj.magiieticleader , ad
mirably fitting him for this iiosition.
It U not twenty years since the Japanese
began to reform their institutions , and during
that time nothing has mow clearly shown
their adaptability and "iutelliiciico than the
progress which they have made in education ,
Outof 0,710WO , children of school nj e In the
empire , L'.bOO.OOd . are enrolled in the public
schools , \vhllo universities , commercial
schools , schools of line art and of music ,
schools for the deaf , ilumb and blind , law
courses in German , French and English , li
braries and muspuins , all form part of a
thorough nnd progressive system.
Dr. Birnoy euros catarrh , Bee Bldg- .
o
c , v.v vnr ihi sen-is ,
-A.llco ICaofcr of Chicago , was fined tbo
other duy for thrashing her husbind on the
street when ho refused to go home.
G.Tato Carr of Ooala , Phi. , suicided on
the eve of lili inarriaga hocauso he hadn't '
enough money toy his wedding ex peases.
AIlis Bella Lane , nn Ottawa belle , was
married to Dr. IMcrkliim , a Hiiuloo oculist ,
who opened anofllco in Ottawa aome months
ago.
ago.Divd
Divd , ! Miller of Iklonrovla. Ind. , aged
sixty-eight years , and Mrs. Adeline lariicll )
of Falr\'Io\v , aged scvcaty-dght years , were
married at I'laiiiileld recently , after an ac
quaintance of onlyslx weeks.
Five years ago a Wichita man brought suit
against his wife for alimony , alleging that
she was a strong and healthy woman , anil
asked that she bo compelled to support him.
The case has just been decided against the
husband by the court of last resort.
A young lady resldeut of a western city ,
not engaged to bo married , and unmistakably
fancy-free , stated with an air of the most
charming ingenuousness that she prayed
every nlghb for her husband , "because , you
know , if I am to bo married my husband is
living somewhere in the world , and I pray
always that ho may bo delivered from all
temptations , to kept in good health , and to
successful In whatever" path of business lie
has chosen. " "And is tills till you pray for
in reference to him ! " -was asked. "Oh , nol"
and she blushed a little as she made this ad
mission : "I pray that wo soon may to
brought together ! "
Twonty-threp years ago Joseph Hamilton
and Miss "Virginia Ilickman. both of Bath
county , Maine , were engaged to bo married ,
but they had a lover's quarrel , and Mr , Ham
ilton lelt for California , where ho settled In
San Diego county. By hard work he became
a prosperous man. About a month ago he re
turned to his old homo near Mlllhorough
Springs , and In foity-elght hours after his ar
rival married Miss Hickmnn , who had re
mained faithful to her first nnd only love.
Thobridols allrst cousin of the celebrated
Bishop William Taylor , a native of itock-
bridge and for many years past bishop of
Africa. Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton will spend
the next two months visiting relatives , and la
September -will leave for their California
homo.
Dr. Birnoy euros catarrh , Ilao bldg1.
The deacon loved a quiet g.uno
And took a great delight
Jn playing cards for large stxed stakes ,
And sometimes he got tight.
IIo played ono tilght until he'd lost
Ills very bottom sou ;
Then homo \valkedandfelt , of course ,
Particularly blue.
Koxt morning ho went into church
To teach his bible class ,
jr.dheii the plate was shoved at him ,
The deacon , said , "I pass. "
[ Xe\v Vork Herald.
.A minister is excusable for thinking moro
of the lambs of the flock than the doze.
The greatest and most serious Caul t of the
modem chuchia its leniency to wards its mem-
hew.
hew."All
"All flesh Ii grass. " "l'erlaps that ac
counts for tbo proaouess of lledh to get hay
fever.
llogga Do the nngeh have ono \ving or
twol Trotter " \Vcll , that's merely a matter
of a pinion.
It you want to know why Eve ate the appet
Just analyze your own feelings when you see
a "Keep off the grass" sign.
"Mamma , " said llttlo Willie , who had felt
the instrument of maternal correction ; "do
they truly have golden slippers in heaven 1"
"I'm afraid , Johnny , . " said the Sunday
scliool teacher rather severely , "that I will
never meet you iulieaven. " "Why ) What
you been doin' ' nott'i"
' 'Voting " thundered the
man , camp-meet
Ing orator , "wcro you over fired with enthus
iasm I" "it I * a very painful subject , " ho ro-
spouded , "but I wns. Miss Wedlv's father
supplied the enthusiasm. "
I wnntto bean angel bright
And dwell up in the sky ,
But , 'i > on inyboul , I'm really not
So unx-i-oas to die.
die.New
New York Herald ,
It is easy enough to bo good when every
thing goes on to please us ; one good Chrii-
tinn niiiit will do inoro swearing when ho has
just missed n train thnn the six drummer *
who have just caught U "by the skla of their
teeth. "
The minister was calling for recruits for
temperance work. ' 'In uno llttlo town , "
cried he , " here's seventeen gin. mills , that's
where wo want to go , tretbren. " 4 > Ves , yes , "
shouted u red nosed individual in the rear of
the church , "lot's go now. "
"Ilclljrton nin a mighty pow'ful thing ,
Epli'm , " said old Uticlo Ilastus. "How's
dull'1 said Kplmiim. * 'W'y , " sntd Undo
Itustus , with n look of deep thankfulness to
ward the ceiling , -'las' night me'n Elder
Jolnmlng wuz a pla.vin1 pcnty auto 'poke ; ' I
seen him imildn' a scrspicious move wid do
kyjrds , na * some good angel tole mo to pull
inyrazzer , an' w'en hcseendut razzerho got
religion right away , an1 mndo up his mln' dut
hones tywua do bcs' policy after all. "
Dr. Birnoy euros catarrh , Boo bldg ,
\VILL \ Fill' ' A LITTLE.
AtLoast "Bib" Says Tbjjy' Sometimes Woa-
key with the Tmtli ,
t
WEE ONES ABOUT DRESSES.
FlctUlouaOovns Jliule by Worth nnil
Ituugltinry T'orttmosVon nt Motito
Carlo The Detlghts or an
Ocean
IlovnnSHIP , July 23-rSpectal to Titc
BKE.Vo have just been saying good-bywo
being Cliutnnudtno ( Is thatgooj graminarl ) ,
to the shores wo so gladly welcomed about
five weeks ago. I said It with tears , ho said
it with a short , snappy bark , that suggested
a curt good-by to the land where they know
how to roast as well ns to broil , and where
tullk docs have cream on it.
"II.MI" AXD licit c-ixiXBcifrjr.
I bedewed Chum vith.my tears , ho being
the only masculine person on whom I had n
right to weep , and I have always claimed
that -whenever you want to relieve yourself
by n good cry , you do not wish to repose upon
anything feminine. Chum has looked at my
briny tears and felt sorry for run , and , when I
took him down to thocaroof the butcher I
fd * , sorry for him. This butcher Is not n
sanguinary man ; hotoldino quite confiden
tially that ho knew how a dog felt himself ,
nnd that ho would sco that tny companion
visited mo frequently , because , as ho sagely
remarked.Vheu you are at sea , and you
have'Vit somethln' helonln' to
? you some-
thin' attached to you by tiesof blood or other
wise it's nature to wantit near you. "
Probably Chum's ' attachment to me la other
wise ; but I regard the butcher as a man not
only of feeling and sentiment , but as a master
of English , Anybody who iv.ilizes what is
"nature" lias got very close to tlio secret of
ifc.
V.-IICNWOMIK . costnsHir.ivo JIOMI : .
The average woman does nothing but talk
a'jjuthowshu ' can get her things through the
customhouse ; she considers it a duty she
owes to society to smuggle a little bit , and if
she can only put frills of real lace on her
night gown , and trim a cheap petticoat with
the finest of Valenciennes , she believes she
his done what la right. .Apropoi of silk pet
ticoats , they seem to bo the standard pres
ents to bring home ; everybody wants one ,
and when you go out to sea in a bowl I mean
in a ship and ( jet over whore sllic petticoats
uro purchased for the proverbial song , you
would bo a mighty mean woman if you didn't
bring one baek to your friend. . Everybody is
tellinp everybody else how little she paid for
anything , and after listening fora while , you
become convinced that the truth in all its
purity is not being Riven. Instead of want
ing to tell how much any thing costs , they are
possessed hv a mad desire to. imiko vou think
they got tilings for absolutory nothing. Just
to ti'y , I announced thftt I got n crepe llsso
handlierchlof for a sixpence , , ami a woman
near me di'lllKjratclj' ' said Ufa * that was noth
ing , she only paid a ha'penny apiece for herd I
\Vlinx IXIVIILV WOSCAJl rertUtlC.VTKd ,
It may ho the sea air that is demoralizing ,
or It may bo that the passengers are cultivat
ing their iinntfinition , buUI ' have never in
nil my life heard such yarns as the
women un hoard are telling. Every
body who went to ilortto Carlo xvon
enormous fortunes Worth had specially
designed dresses for everybody cbo. Virot
had wondered who would over look well in
special bonnets until this "Special tribe ap
peared , and at the hotelrf every blessed one of
them occupied the room that 'was slept in by
the prince of Wales. I thmU ho must bo a
Coiitipedc , and that hla leg * .sleep all around
cvery\vhere. \ .My frlendvfdni n arothomost
Ijiotioliars , without exception in , the world ,
fjliorois no method , theroiis' . simply mndness
I n the reckless way In which thor monkey
with tlio truth. Nobody beUoves them they
know nobody believes in them but they go
on with their pleasing little fictions just the
same , as if they wcro convinced they had
characters like Washington's.
riiinsnsmi'oi' TWO noos.
The butcher has kept liU word. He brings
my traveling coir.pi'iion to pay mo a visit
every morning ; ho U attached to a string
the dog , not the butcher--and ho pulls at that
striiigas if he thought by doing ttiathecould
revenge himself on the keeper. Ho only has
ono traveling companion a brindle bull-dog
with two curls to his tail , and who was
bought at the zoological gardens in Paris.
They are rather good friends In fact.I think
they arc working the Damon and Pythias
racket ; from the short , snappy barks they
interchange , and the subdued growls , I
miagino that Chum has promised to
put up the hriudlo dos nt his clubs and
to introduce him to the barkeeper. The
brindle dog is evidently giving Information
in regard to the zeTas and the elephants ,
Cocking tip his nose , Chum seems to bo
making him understand that it isn't at all
good form for n man about town to know
much. It is just postlblo tbiit he called this
knowledge "rot" ; but it is dilUcultfor mo to
believe that mine own fnmiliav friend would
iudulijo in such language.
AT AN' OtCAX COXCrilT.
Last night wo had a bcnoflt for the orphans
and widows of sallow , when the usually in-
( cresting nerfornmncu was given. A young
man , who , if ho would put on lib sister's
clothes , would look like a girl ( a young man
with a pretty manner and who thinks it's
nice to use a little powder on. his face , nnd
who criinin his hair , oh ! so sweetly ! ) , recited
one of Owen Meredith's poems. It would
have brought tears to the eyes of the widows
and orphan * : the entire audience was In a
state of mild hysterh , and ono girl pave vent
to a scream that sounded very rnuca like n
shrill laugh. She was conducted out of the
saloon , and her mother said HIO ! was always
that \ti\y when she heard sad things. We
felt intensely glad , for it would have been an
awful thing if the young muu had thought
she was laughing at him ,
A FUTCltK 1'ltI.M.V DON'N'A.
Tnen then } was a young \vomnn who has
been studying music three years lu Italy , and
who h the coming prima donna. She was
asked to sing u ballad , and she sniffed In the
most contemptuous way ; she had her maid
open her trunk and got out a real
eveningfrocK , with which she
wore all her Jewelry , and wo all
looked at it and wondeml if it was paste.and
said some cheap Trench dressmaker niadn
that frock , and it was n pity her stays didn't
lit her , for , after nil , we didn't think she was
such n bud-loolciiig girl. Slip tilled the place
with melody ; nt least , I s pgoso that is what
you would call It. Having u fondness myself
for the street piano and.Iho . barrel organ , I
cannot bo supposed to gtt'rlp to the height !
that this young woman tvaohccl in Italian.
Hut when she was done wo mil said , "How
Intense I" and wo wondttred , that wo didn't '
moet anxious managers cowing out in rowboats -
boats to pet hold of her , and ono lady in a
scarlet silk gown , and a , Bonnet made of red
poppies said that she atll.v > tlkucvv what real
music was , uud the cp tiiig priimi donna
kissed her. ,
r.KAi , AFIT run I > E.SSF.IIT.
Then there was a real , , trao live actor on
board who had bcon y rgcd to sing. IIo suld ,
" \Vliy not make HhigtilhiliSf" and every
body else said , "WhyMtt , " So ho sang
"Littlo jVnnio lloonoy , " mfd the audience-
came In on the chorus and--lhoufjlit for the
first , tlmo that they wcni setting the worth
of their money , and the "orphans and widows
wore deserving. The butcher carne up and
brought the dogs , and they walked on their
hind legs for biscuits ttiatis what I called
real art. Then wo all sang "tJod Save tlio
Ouecn , " nnd the dogs wailed nt the top of
their voices in the chorus , and after that
"Tho Star Spangled Banner" was lifted to
the nlr , nnd then as a hjn'clnl compliment to
me , the real actor iilayed "Way Down South
la Dixie. "
A TOtrxo srAX's niirriiiiAT CACK ,
The next most ejcitlng thing was n birth
day the young wan who recited Owen
Meredith becumo twenty-rtvo years old one
day , and wo got upa contribution and had a
most lovely cake made for him , and when ho
cunioln to dinner there It wa with twenty-
five caudles Just In front of his place. IJa
you know , because somn people had t > een
mean enough to snillo at hla powder and to
think that for his sake It was u pity Owen
Meredith wus over bom , ho wouldn't put a
kuifo in that cake ) IIo bcliovcJ 11 had
cottou , or pepper , or some other divaaful
thing In It , nnd he refused to cut It , son \vlso
virgin of about forty-Jlvo asked lilm to give It
to her , and he said "All right. " She took It
tip on deck nnd cut it , and. we sat there and
nto that bountiful cake and never even gav'o
him so much 03 a plum out df It. IIo proba
bly went away anil wept bitterly. Some of
the others wept later in the night as Ihu
result of getting the rake , inasmuch
ns n rich plum cake nnd the bounding-
sea did not seem to be exactly in harmony ,
nntxatsa KOMI : I'IIKSKXTJ.
If you hnvi ) to sell your soul your friends
nt homo expect you to bring them b.iek
something. The general Idea U that that
Is what you went abroad for , and that you
are delighted to squander your low
ducats in catering to their tastes.
Next to silk petticoats , If you
want to make n woman happy , bring hro
some of tho30 pretty llslo and silk hand Ker
chiefs that may bo gotten nt very ro.nonnblii
prices in London , or else fetch her u fan from
Paris. If you wish to spend a llttlo inoro
money , endow her with some slippers ; you
can get the most fetching red ones , with the
tors covered with sparkling Jets , the ir.ost
beautiful black satin ones.wltlijiowsor rhinestones
stones decorating them , at prices which
should make the American shoemaker bhuh
for his last. Then , If you wish to take away
your friend's breath and render her speech
less for a short time , fetch her tlio very last
thing in Preach bonnets , or , If you tire a mil
lionaire , bring her a dinner pown from Lon
don. Card cases and purses , that cost a great
deal of money In the United States , nro cheapen
on the other side and are always llttlo things
that are appreciated. I belleva everything
that ever could bo bought or stolen is on
board this ship , nnd every woman changes
her mind 100 timct n day ns towhntsho is
going to giro to who. U she remembers
things with great fondness , she concludes to
keep thorn for herself. Can you iwsslbly Im
agine n man buying something for another
man nnd then making up his mind ho
wouldn't ' give It to him because it wai so
pretty ) But such is the attitude of lovely
woman ,
PAUTISO OX AXOCnAXSTPAMCn.
Wo will soon bo home. Our bags are being
fastened , our wraps are being plied together.
The butcher his : c.itd an niTcctlng farewell to
Chum and ho and the briudlo dog have ex
changed n confidence or two as a parting
word , asnrtof "Sup with me at the club at
11 : ; ) . " It is not an acquaintance that I am
particularly anxious U ) tiavo continued , for
tlio brindle dog's master has assured mo that
the gentleman with the tirinillo coat smokes ,
and i regret to sny that I have seen him with
a pipe in ills mouth taking two orthreo whllTs
a something that only a very demoralized
dog would do. Chum , with ull his faults ,
neither drinks nor smokes. On special occa
sions ho will take a glass o [ champagne and
then go over and lie in the corner of the I'oom
and bo very sick at heart and regret that
he bos iiiado a beast of himself.
WIA.T TO TAKi : A1UIOA1) .
\Vo have said good-by to our fellow-passcn-
pcrs. Wo are straining our eyes to watch
for whoever is waiting for us , nnd Just whllo
wo stand hew I think then ) are some things
that it is wise to tnku abroad with you.
Ono is your very best manners ; wear them
lllto your skin.
One is a great deal of patience. Just re
member that everybody isn't in as great a
hurry as you are , and that you are only ono
among millions of people.
Ono is a kindly consideration for young
fellow-travelers.
One Is a clock that doesn't ' run too fastd an
a silver cup that is not very elaborately
carved.
One is ahabitof spcakinglownnd distinctly
nnd of knowing-beforehand what you want
to say , wliat you want to got and where you
wnnt to po.
Ouc Is the knowledge that you are a gentle
woman and that that will insure you from
rude treatment , because you never give any
thing but courtesy to anybody clae.
OXCE MOIIB OX NATlVi : SOIL.
Chum has given a hark of greeting he scos
somebody ho knows ; I have to hold him tight
tokeonliinifrom springing on the dock nnd
waving high up in the air in a way that means
"I am glad I am homo , I have had a beauti
ful time , " is a yachting cap on the front of
which is painted In scarlet letters the name of
BAIL
Dr. Birnoy cures catarrh , I5eo bldg.
During the past ten years 11,031 converts
have been made In the missionary liielda oc
cupied by the Moravian church.
The last census of Now Zealand shows a
profession of religion on the part of no leas
than 05 per cent of the whole population.
There nro 381 Congregational churches In
Connecticut , with a total membership of W-
S10. The average salary on the settled pas-
tew is SI-CO.
Uev. Dr. Purves of the First Presbyterian
church of t'ittsburg l w declined to leave his
njstorato forthochau of theology in McCur-
inlck theological seminary , Chicago.
A Roman Catholic missionary , the JVbbo
Desgotlms , has been for thirty years tryhiRto
Ruin access to Thibet. Ho has been all Unit
time living ou the southern and eastern fron
tiers , nnd has compiled a compendious
Thibetan dictionary.
Rev. Charles Berry of London , to whom
was offered the pastorate of Plymouth church ,
Brooklyn , shortly after the death of Mr.
Bccchor , has declined the offer of the pastorate -
ate of Westminister chapel , the salary of
which is above $ . * iOUO a year.
Out of 900 foreign missionaries nt present
in Imiia , representing various lands nnd peoples
ples , tlio eldest is an American , Kev. John
Newton of tlio Presbyterian church , the vet
eran missionary of Lahore , who nt the ao ; of
sovonty-eialit , is still a happy worker in Ids
chosen field , Air. Ncu'ton limded In Calcutta
in February , 1S35.
Aside from the idolaters of Siberia there
nro.10,000,000 , subjects of Hussla whose relig
ion is foreign , iiamoly , lXl)00 ) ( ) Armenians ,
r > , IK > 0OitO , to li.OOD.OOU Lutherans , 9,000,000 to
lUOti,000 ) Catholics , HOiX,000 ) to 4,000,000 ,
Jews , nnd about lO.OOtt.OT ) Mohammedans.
Buddhists abound in Siberia , and extend
even to the borders of the Volga.
Africa now has at work within her borders
ten American , twelve British and thirteen
continental missionary societies. There nro
more than seven hundred ordained mission
aries , and inoro than seven thousand native
preachers. It U estimated that there are ,
both white and native , about ono hundred
and seventy-llvo thousand communicants and
S00,000 adherents.
hi London a new 1m.nek of the Salvation
tinny has been organized called the "Cavalry
Corps. " The corps consists of seventy men
provided with seven vans fitted with bunks
for thirteen men nnd cooking apparatus.
Each will bo allotted to a certain district and
will take a tent capable of seating 300 persons
to bo put up In souls village. They will ho
away from London for four months and will
holdservices only in villages.
Ono cannot sp.ial : a word against the
church in Russia. A Lutheran pastor of
lllffa called tlio ( ircck church a "heathenish
church , " and confirmed a plrl belonging to the
orthodox faith , and ho was condemned by the
district court to the loss of all private rfdita
and privileges , with banishment to tlio prov
ince of Perm , without leave of absence from
tlio place where ho lives for a period of two
years. Ho was prohibited from entering oth
er provinces fora further period of ten ycai3
and excluded for another term of tea years
from the capitals and from the governments
in which they Ho.
Clirrmlo Inflammation > ! . ' the Illadder
Js promptly cured by the waters of Excel-
slor Springs , Missouri.
Dr. Dirney cures catarrh , Bee bUg1.
The Snored ITeart ncadomy for day
pupil * , situated on St. Mary's avenue
and liTth st. , isnn Institution devoted to
the moral nntl Intellectual education of
young1 trirU The course includes o vory-
thin" from un elementary dopiiftmunt to
n flnibheu cluUdical education. Uoiildea
the ordinary academical course , music ,
painting1 , drawing and Iho languages are
tuuylit. French 13 Included in the ordi
nary course. Difference ot religion Is no
obstacle to the receiving of pupils , pro
vided tnoy conform to the general regu
lations of the school. The fruholaatio
term commoneos the flrat Tuesduy In
September. Classes begin at 9 iu ui. ,
and pupiU iiro dismissed tit 3:30 : p. in.
Dr. Birnoy cures cutiirrli , Bee bid ? ,
Ladles who experience a sense of weakness
and koincthni'3 lameness of the back , should
use Dr. J. II , McLean's strengthening cor
dial and blood purifier. It will supply the
much nt'cdea strength and overcome all
weakening Irregularities.
Dr. Birnoy cures outarrli , Boo blJff.
1IEALIRS TOG TUB HEATHEN
How Christian Physicians Practice and
Preach in Chicago ,
THE'EXPERIENCE OF OR , MARY MILES.
The lOmliiirraHliiR Coudltiun of ( ho V.
JI. C. A.-Tlio Chimes of Trinity
\Vlioro the Lord May bo
1'rnlsotl Todiiy.
About thirty ladles gathered nt the homo of
Mrs. Wnrren Swittlor on St. Mary's ovcnue
last Monday evening to meet Mary W Nllw ,
M.I ) . 7lio ladies \vow members of tlio mis
sionary tociulloa , of the Firat pud \ \ cstinlnls-
tor 1'resb.vteilan churches who were imxlous
to hear Itss Nllcs relate her , experiences us a
medloal missionary in Canton , China. The
meeting mis entirely informal and very pleas
ant.
ant.Dr.
Dr. Nllcs has resided In Canton for eight
years and during that time lias had clwnieof
the woman's department of the .American
Presbyterian hospital there , onoof thelurgest
Institutions of Its kind In the world. This
hospital was established by Dr. Peter 1'nr-
ker , a wealthy physician , In 1830 , nnd Is
largely supported by this foreign residents of
Canton , numbering about three hundred. Dr.
ICcrr , eminent in his profession , Is the medi
cal director , which position ho has occupied
for twenty years. There are also employed
lu tlio hosiiiuilt wo other American pliysk'hms
gml n score of native students nnd helpers.
To show the hnmcnso work douo In the
hospital It Is only necessary to state that
20j'H ! patients voro treated last
year. Of this number Dr. Nilcs personally
eared for 4.t > 71) ) nnd performed ( VSUsui'Kiuul op
erations , She also visited 115-1 patients m
their homos , making " i > ' calls lu ull. Dr.
Nijes has thus obtained access to the homos
of the rich and poor , the rulers and the ruled ,
nnd in nil eases has striven to Impart relig
ious instruction as well as to heal bodily ail
ments. Uusually a Inrjjo room full of female
relatives await her coming , nnd doubtless
tunny secluded women of the upper class have
received religious Instruction who otherwise
would not have htul nn opportunity. As fees
fromthese patients she has received SlSiOT.
Owing to poverty lu some crses the usual fee
of ? l has not been paid , and in exceptional
cases inoro his ; been resolved. Four young
women are In the medical class and of these
tbo two most advanced have acted us assist
ants.
ants.Dr. . islles has acted ns Instructor to a medi
cal class of twelve students In the branches
of theory and practice and cllnici. The Chi
nese are apt students , learn rapidly and prove
very ofilclent physicians.
Although the cash fees received by physi
cians are small , many prcsenti are nude
them , -which , while not of commercial worth ,
nroconsiderod of the greatest vnluo by the
Chinese. 'These consist of scrolls on which
are written In Chinese characters the virtues
of the physician and the wonderful lioalinR
power possessed. Dr. Nile * has been loaded
down with these testimonials of regard , many
of which she brought with her to this coun
try.
V , St. 0. A. I2iulmrraH < iiiiRiit.
Tlio condition of affairs in the local branch
of the "Vouns Men's ' Christian association is
certainly to bo deplored.
"When it was nimuunuod a few welts ago
that the association was In llnancl.il straits
the people on the outsldo uud u great ninny of
the members of the association wera trre.itly
surprised. The membership uad been largo
and the affairs of the nsaocintlon generally
appeared in a flourishing condition. It has
thetlncst building of the kind in this section
of country nnd among Its members Is num
bered some of the wealthiest and most In-
llucntiul young men in Omaha.
There was much surprise , therefore , when
a meeting ol the association was called to
talto action to tide it over n financial crisis.
Butthosurprlso cut no figure when an ex
amination of the books showed a floating in
debtedness of over SU ,000. ,
AVIicn certain matters which thus far had
romalnoil hidden wore gradually disclosed. It
was discovered that the membership had de
creased Irani 1,000 to lr.O In seven months and
also disclosed that there was much dissatis
faction among innnv members of the associa
tion. The gymnasium was the main ainuso-
mcnt feature of the association , but many of
the young men complain that this department
for the past few months ha } been under the
charge of an inoompotcnt Instructor and that
the benefits they received from his teaching
wcro very few. It was also disclosed that
there wei-o a great many more olllcors around
the institution thuu was really required and
some of tlio members held they wcro Inclined
towards extravagance.
The directors of the institution are :
William ITleniiiip , W. AV. Shibaugh , C. E.
Williamson , . ! . O.l'hilllppi , J. L Kennedy , A.
D. Shcrmerhorn , W. II. Itussoll , C. II.
Gardner. W. V. illlroy , "W. K. Drummond ,
GoortfOA. Jopliti.J. L. McCaguo and J. J.
Kvcrin chain. These are all busy men and
their tl. 10 has been so fully occupied that
they have had little or no time to allot to the
affairs of the association and the committees
luivo conducted matters generally to suit
themselves.
The association has appealed to the citizens
of Omaha to lift it out of the mlno of dobt.
There \vill undoubtedly bo a great di.ingo . In
the management of the association before
long.
Worthy of AsHlNtanoe.
The members of the Bohemian congrega
tion of the Moravian Presbyterian church ,
Itcv. Anton I'aulu , hnvo a desiw to build for
themselves a church.
With this end In view , the congregation re
cently issued the following appeal :
"We , the Bohemians of Omaha , fed that It ,
is necessary to elevate ourselves spiritually
and morally , and tnat wo can attain this
through the word anil ehuivh of Oed only.
Therefore wo expect to build a church called
'Bohemian Moravian. Presbyterian church. '
As we need some lin.inelal assist ince , wo re
quest all our friends and hrothern to aid us
in this work according their ability and good
TrInlly'n Clilinos.
Nothing can bo pleasanter on a still sum
mer evening than to sit In some qulot spot
near the cathedral and listen to the sweet
chimes of Trinity.
Thcro is something restful nnd peaceful In
the rythm of church chimes , In the city ,
they carry one to quiet pastoral scones , u
summer Sunday In the country , when .tho
soft calling of tlio bells from Homo llttlo
church hidden In some shady nook , cornea
softly stealing over moor and fen.
Trinity's chimes are the only ones in
Omaha at the present.
\ \ 111 Commune Together.
The last class to bo confirmed In the faith
of the church wt Ht. Marimbas' will have its
first clns communion at the church this
morning , having received especial Instruc
tions to this end from the rector , Iluv. John
"Williams. The class is a largo ono nnd the
service will bo of interest.
Church NoteH ,
Trinity cathedral , Capitol uvcnuo nnd
Eighteenth treet , Very Itcv. C. II. Oiirdncr ,
dean. Holy communion , 8 n. in. ; holy com-
liiunionamsermon ! , 11 a. ra ; evening prayer
and sermon , ? : -45 p. in.
St. Mary's Avenue Congregational , no
preaching scrvico today. Sunday school at
the usual hour.
Second Presbyterian ehurch , Saunders nnd
Nicholas streetH A fter the morning service
will occur the reception of now mombow , fol
lowed by communion hervlcos. i'ubllo in
vited. All beats free.
Newman M. K. church Rev. C. W. Rav-
Idgo will preach morning and evening. Sub
ject ut 10 : . ( ( ) ii. in. , " .Saving Graceat , 8 p.
in. , "Healing the Sick. "
Kuox Presbyterian church , corner Nino-
tccnthnnd Ohio streets Services by the pas
tor , Itcv. Asa Jx-iird , at 10 : U < ) n. m. find H p.
ni , Morning subject , "Joshua or Ohri.st.Ian
Welfare1 Evening subject , " ( Jod's Pres
ence. ' ' Pews frco at both so rvlees and every
body Invited.
At the Southwestern Lutheran church.
T-M-nty-sixth street , between I'opnloton and
"NVoolworth avenues , Hov. Luther M , Kuhus
will preach at U n. m. on , "Out Into the
Deep. " mid at 3 p. m. on "Tho Iturdenwl
Shoulder. "
Central fulled I'rwbytorlim church , Sev
enteenth ami Capitol avenue , Uov. John
Wllllntmon , D.I ) . , puMorI'michiitgnt 10tO : ;
n. m. ; subject , "Christian Service , " and S p.
m. , subject , "Xot Doing. " Snbbtitli school
nt noon. Vounfr people's meeting at 7 p. m.
All are cordially Invited. Scat * f rvo.
.All Snlnts church nnd
, Twenty-sixth How
ard , Kov. Louta Xiiumcr , L. tj.l ) . , rector
Service * ninth Sunday nfter Trinity , August
! J. At the 11 o'clock service tlio niusto will
be , Intrult , " ( Irani to us Lord wo DosrccU
Theo" Hnrnby. Coiumunion service In I- '
Ourrott. Afttertory , "Trust In the Lord , "
( baritone solo ) from thoOr.itorki , "Tho 1'iinl-
icral Son"--Sullivan. At the o'clockSOP
- - . 7 SOP-
vice , MujnitlMtinnil IN'uno DlmIti-4 In ! '
C.nnvtt. Anthem , " . 'oimMinto Mo"C'litlor. .
FIIXJsltliiiRS provided. All uro wolcome.
Hov. J. W. KOJJCM of Ho.tton will prvacR
in the Virst t'hrlstaln ' chvlvh , oorncr 1'iinltol
avenue nnd Twontiotli , The services both
ninrnliigunil ovonttiK it tbo usual hours.
Sunday school utlUn. ) : : ) in. ; Young IVoplo'n
Socletj- Christian limlonvor at T n. m.
lr. ) Ulrncy cures ratnrrh , Hoe bltlg.
WHO H.VI > Tin ; iioitw ?
Itow R.It. II. Clark and Colonel ,1 , M.
ICddy Went Cnldilng Tiirth > H.
AVhen S. H. II. Clark nittt Colonel .T. M.
Eddy wore inOinahii two weeks npocn iwuto
to the northern summer resorts they ontor-
talncd several friends nt the Mlllard hotel
telllup enormous llsh stories. Very few men
enjoy piscatorial pleasures more than Mr.
Chirk , nnd when his ofllctid duties ai general
mnmiKor of Jay Clould's givat railroad sys
tem nrulu such shape that he can knock off
work three or four days an excursion to some
favorite lishlns ground is generally planned.
Ln t spring : while mulling n tour of the road
among other places ho stopped at Colonel
Eddy's phu-0 In Palestine , Tex.
' "Have you any good lishlng down here. ' I
Inquired , " s.ild Air. Chirk , when rolattiif }
what occurred.
"No,1 , replied Eddy'but t cantata you
out to a turtle pond that has millions In it ,
uiidwo will hnvomorri genulno ai > ort catching -
ing turtles than you ever dreamed of llsh-
Iiur'
"Naturally my curiosity wan .imusod. The
ide.iof turtle lunitluglind never oroui-red tome
mo and tlio novelty of it utoneo struck 1110 as
being full of Jolly fun.
"Tho next morning wo had an early break
fast , armed ourselves with the mvossnry
tackle nnd started out. 1 had supnosed the
pond or lake , as It is called down tnere , wu
near by , hut wo traveled sixty miles , before
the colonel llnnlly oxdalmcd 'llcro wo are. "
"In tlio mean time lie had been pumping mo
full of Information nbonthow to catch the
turtles. This as ho pave it to mo Is a synop
sis of the receipt : first , catch him ; second
gcthimnmd ; third , put out the rope ; fourth
haul him to shore ; lillh. get him on his baek ,
and sixth , land him in tlio car. "
"Having assured mo that these animals
were caught by the ear load nnd that ho had
shipped no less than three ear loads to
Omaha himself , tills was nil very exciting to
me. As a consequence , when wo reached the
turtle pond I was in a stale of wild euthu-
biusm.
" \Votoolcacasualsurvey ofthn situation
but could see no turtles. 1 noticed that tlio
colonel had lost hli activity very suddenly
and looked sad but it was not inv plueo to say
anything then. Of course he h.id been nisnr-
ing nio that \vo would senIOOJ acre.H
of muddy water covered with tlio round
black backs of millions of turtles , there
fore inimnuch as tlioro wus not ono in siirht I
divined his feelings and sympathised with
nim.
nim."Hut wo scoured a boat nnd went turtle
fishing Just the'same. We stirred the mku
into a white foam from ono end to the othur
for two days without the least-sign of any
thing that looked like a turtle , before giving
it up.
"Von never saw a sadder , more crest-fallen
man thiin Colonel Kddy. Since thun ho has
been as meek us Umb m my presence. Asa
sort of panacea 1 have dictated these few
Btanzasto him :
On a pile , in the South Branch , a mudturtlo
sat.
Sighing : "Wimplty , wamplty , wumplty ; "
And Hfo unto him seemed decidedly Hut.
0 , wimpity , wtimplty , wumplty.
IIo was brought there , or "got there , " by
unluclty ehanco ;
0. wimpity , wamplty , wumplty ;
And his chanced wcro slim , ho could see at a
glance.
0 , wimpity , wamplty , wnnplty ;
As far as his vision extended there rose ,
0 , wimpity , wnmplty , wnmplty.
Small Imbblca ol'vaporthntfoateivd his nose.
\\lmpity , wauipity , wumplty.
Ho bowed his poor head and sollloqul/ed UIUH :
"O wimpitvvnmplty , wumpitj- ,
This snifcll would compel 'a preacher to cuss.1
O , wimpity , wampity , wumplty.
"I have hoard there were 'dives' ' in this town
by the luke ;
0 , wimpity , wampity , wnmpltj- .
They uro heaven compared to the dive I must
take :
0 , wimpity , wamplty , wumplty. "
Then ho drew himself np and wigglcu his
tail ;
0. wimpity , wampity , wumplty ;
And , ns ho plunged in , ho uttered this wall I
"O , wimpity , wamplty , wumplty. "
Dr. Birnoy ciit'oB catarrh , I'eo bhlg
Jas. Morton & Son
1511 Dodge St.
AGENTS FOR
Win. T. Wood & Go's
Ice Tools.
Prescott sliding Door
Han 2f crs.
Washburn & Mocn
Mnfg. Go's ' Wire
Rope.
Yale & To\vnc Mnfg.
Co.'s Fine Locks.
A Talking Parrotfor"$7
I RECEIVED A MEW LOT OF
VtRY FINEYOUHU PAR
ROTS ,
\S'lilch I am Kohix to HOI ! tlm
next week at
$7 Each ,
With a Guarantee to Talk
Itlsrnro Hmni'O to got : v
parrot fur an uxtrn-
ordinary olit'iiii price. lu )
nut inibM your elium'o.
Rocelvod , now Mocklnq birda sing-
era , $ . " ) .0 ( ) each ,
MAX GEISLEll ,
417 S. I5th StOirnhn ,
Q"I T rj Ji I - JAWViilH : AND hJI ( I'lTOllT
ilt I L.IM I UPO nu'lMlnit. 'orun'l'ii ' Neb
4 Wi H BI " T 11 Uf - C * * MAS' * IV hj
TTTOTor LOUTorPAITlVO MAXCOODi
iijSo.n.r.l aod NBU-VOUU DKB1LITV
. . . . .
ILl II H IUTf.Hl.nxa A * n/v.firnn.1 T. IH Vt n
. . . .
nea iMiur n-.pt bu BUI. * c r no i * ini. tfnuir.a.
Il.itrlliUi * fcn.l , i > ! " ll"i < l r < .r.i.UU < ( . .l.IIr
uami BRIE MBOIOAk CO , , BUrFAtO.N. V *
