f 10 . THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY JANUARY 194 SIXTEEN PAGES J
*
. IHE CIRCUS AT THE CAPITAL
i
i
j 1 It Is Undoubtedly the Biggest Show
I l on Earth
. II I I
| POINTS ABOUT THE MUSEUM
Tour Hundred Pounder * nnd MvlnR
Skeleton * Two AIIiIiioob The
Hairy nnd tlio Hairless Ttio
, Funniest Sinn in Congress
I ! Tlin Nntlonnl Muscc
, I ( Popi/iighltil 1800 b\j \ Frank < i. CrtrpMsr )
| ashinotok , Jan
/ IS | Spoclol to
j Tim HnE.Tbo |
h cotiRrossIotialmu-
f | Boura Is Mio most
I woudorful show
lBfc r'I
, pn States Tlio
itrWyjir IS Ii' tlitcoacro tent
pfe g ' ? which covers It Is
n it III If 1)1 hwum It our nnll0tml C0Pl"
' ij'jlik ' \ \ \ AAA ffi ! tel and the two
! Trram iaftnr x > r * * " rings nl either
i | ln < ? nro opened preclsoly at 13 o'clock
r every dny , in ono the senatorial acrobnts
iJ lialnnco the cannon halls of lcRlsIatlon
on the tips of the ilnRcrs and bo their
* gymnastics on the parallel tars under the
i i ores of Vlco Pestilent Morton , nnd In the
j other ttio 830 political giants and pyRmlos ,
h clowns and freaks trot out and show thorn
' boIvcs to thchuz saw directions of the bljr-
t ( rest clant of them all , Thomas D. Hood , thoM
M Bponltcr
I It Is n costly show The people of the
[ > United States pay nearly W,000,0u0 a year to
f Itccp it going ana tht house of roprcscnta *
i tivosrlnjr costs fully $2,600,000 yearly The
1 uctors of the lower house nro paid 11,800,000
* a year In salaries , and the doorltecpors nnd
I understrappers who run the messongos nnd
I clean the spittoons get $700,000 moro The
actors of the senatorial circus cost us about
\ I J500.000 a year nnd wo pay Just ns much to
John J. Jngalls , who spits flro from his
mouth continually , as wo do to Gooreo of
U Mississippi , whoso chief distinction Hot In
T i the fart that ho has sworn never to wenr a
r ' dross suit or rldo in a carriage , .
| j x costly snow
I' Tno most amusing part of the show Is the
ft the house of representatives It is the cost
J > Host dime museum of tlo nations nnd , as I
h Hit in the press gallery , " tlio blegcst legisla-
Jt tlvo hall In the world lies below mo It
covers fully a qunrtor of an aero or ground
and six man ns tall as Stewart of Texas , who
' is over six feet In his stockings , might stand ,
ono on the head of the ether , unalt the seeks
of the first rested on the floor , the
, - Bray hatr of the sixth would Just graze
i the ceiling , 'lho room is thirty-six. foot
I high nnd Its lloor is covered with 1,700 yards
[ of green velvet of a quality so good that it
t must have cost $ J a yard The light of the
nhow room comes In through the calling nnd
i this is made of iron and glass This celling
is made in panels which are ualnted and
f glided nnd each boars the coat of arms of a
r Rtato of the union , liolow this ceiling all
nround the room run banks of galleries
which tormmnto at the edges of a great central -
! tral pit fifteen foot deep , which forms the
boar garden of congress In this wide pit
• the curiositlos are enged It is 151 fcot long
nna ilfty-sovon feet wide and Its walls are
i- paneled In pink nnd bull paper , nnd around
i ; unch panel is a frame line enough to bind n
Titian or a Coret In these walls are cave
' " < lllio doors which lead to the cloak rooms , the
. i unrbcr shops and the loobies of the house ,
'
, .1 nnd nt each of the outer doors stnnd two
> 'A men to keep tlio outsldo world nway from
& the congressional animals
'
f ; But lot us take a look at the animals thorn
{ I solves There are 3J0 of them and thov sit
't I in half moon rows of chairs rising ono noovo
ii j another on the sloping lloor of the chainbor
JA Each has n Uttlo white wood desk iu front of
' j lilm with a lid covered with blue batzo BoIS -
bind each row of desks thcro are cane-soated
1 • * ofllco chairs so fixed upon springs that the
Bitters can lean back and put their feet upon
their desks when they will Dockery of
Missouri is sitting so now The middle of
this half-moon of rows is blsBCcted by an
uisle , and on ono side of this aisle are the
democrats while the other sldo Is given over
to the republicans
Uohind amarblo desk and under the Amer
ican Hug , with the rcDorters above , sits the
IS heud showman , Thomas i ) . Heed of Maine
Ho is the most curious Hguro In the whole
museum and Is a freak or nature in both
brains and body Six fcot two , bis body is
nil muscle and his bald head , as big as a pock
moasuio and as white as a boys new drum ,
is nothing but brains Ho lacks the dignity
of the ordinary ringmaster Sitting , ho leans
ever his desk , resting his football of brains
en his Dcefy-Uke shoulders and playing with
his gavel Standing , he throws his paunch
to the front as though ho would lav it down
1or the time on the speakers desk , and
if Throwing his bond back ho pokes thogavol at
; 1 the members as he bobs both It ana bis hcaa
5 to the front la counting the roll Ho is the
1 liignost-prlccd member in the whole con
jf pressloiml show Ho gets $9,000 a year and
X ho is worth it
ft THE TXT AND THE LEiX
< , The congressional mnsoum has Its fat men
5 uiul its living skeletons The futtost has
6 ulroudy gotten a national reputation from
flj bis suaorabundanco of udlposo tissue Ills
jL liamo in Ueorgo Humes of Gcor iu llo
I. weighs 400 pounds and he says ho would not
> tulto * 1,000 for a slnglo pouud of his Uosh
j | Ho is nearly six fnottall and fiom the center
of his spitio to the button which rests over
l the center of his front bo measures three
feet , live and ono-hnlf Inches Htsfleshls
eolid and ho carries It well Ho is by no
moans an intellectual nonentity and he ranks
ns ono of the lending men of ills state Ho
has been in congress for sovcral terms and I
, am tola by Qoorglans that bo will stay bore
i until lie becomes the fat old father of the
house ltlfo of Pennsylvania is as broad ns '
< ho is loug , and in fatness ulono ho may bo
called ono of the freaks of the house Ho
tins been n tanner for Mm last twenty-two
year < and ho is a living proof of the
hcalthfulness of the trade Ho is a man of
moans us well as of iloali and is the presldont
of a railroad company as well as a congress
man The thin men of the house are legion '
Gen Joe Wliooler does not wolgh moro than
uinoty.ilvo pounds Wiclthamof'Ohio has '
not nn ounce to spare and John T. Came of ,
Utah is all bones and brain It Is wonderful [
to think of ttio different amounts of beef It
takes to run human brain Koswoll p. '
Flower with his 200 pounds of flesh and bono
lias made a fortune , while Jay Gould with
100 pounds of sinew has bU teus of millions
MoAdoo of Now Jersey weighs about 100 j
pounds and ho is braiuy enough MoKlnloy !
weighs 1CU and Jluohanan of Now Jersey
ldoks the beam nt 12J5. It takes 4,000 ounces
of llcsh and bono that inako up the speakers
wolght to nourish the gray matter on Tom
Heeds cranium , and nearly the same amount !
is required to supply that used up daily by ;
Uabor of Now York General Splnolu car
ries about 155 pounds under his big collar ;
and the 110 pounds of Frank Lawlor elevated |
lilm from a Chieugo saloon to the bouse of
representatives Ono hundred and forty ,
live pounds have suRlcod to get up Henry
Cabot Lodges biographies of statesmen and 1
all of HoUuan's economy Is ground out under
the Bupport of pure bono and sinew
Hen Uutterworth weighs 300 and the oil uf :
good living as woli as that of good nature
shines forth from ids countoiianco Dorsoy
I of Nebraska gets along uicoly on 150 pounds ,
nnd Uburley O'Neill of Pennsylvania weighs i
150. aud his stomach is good The total 1
wolght or the house ot representatives is
nearly 50,000 pounds and at the rate that we
pay for the congrcsslon animal show these
wen cost us Just (500 a pound every joar
Estimating thorn ut an average height ot
5 fcot H inches their total height is 1.670
feet and the average cost is nearly $1,600 a
' toot , it Is the dearsit beef and brain that
was ever sola or hired by weight
CON011ESSIONiI.ALUl.NOES.
I There are two ulblnocs in congress and
j they are both men of weight They are
Grosvcnor of Ohio and lsrcckenridgo of
Kentucky Both of tbeto huve hair as white
as tiowly-slockcd llmo , mid the faces of both
uro as rosy as the setting Bun Urcckcu
j ridge has a wonderful head Ho is straight
I nnd well padded and his bead Is fastened by
I a strong ucck to a pair of broad shoulders
1 The strands of hair aruoftholluostot frosted
] allyor and his short full board is of silver
j bristles He i u bandsonio fellow aud bin
blue ! eyes snap and his fnco grows
. redder and his hatr oem whiter
than ever when ho makes n political speech
Ho Is known as the sllvor-tonRucd orator of
Konlucky , and ho comes rightly by his eloquence -
quenco , for In his veins flows some of the
samh blood tnnt produced John C. Hreclcon *
ndgc Ho is well worth his > ,000 as a show
tlguro , and bo comes out Into the arena , nt
every political tussle
The ether albino , Charles Grosvonor , Is
now walking about the bouse with tils hands
in his pockets Ho is n straight , good-look
ing long-whislcorod freak , and ho has ns
many outsldo tricks worth noting as has
Mr Hrockenrldgo Ho is a good speaker ,
nnd is happiest when engaged in a political
fight Ho strikes from the shoulder and do *
lights In espousing the extromest views ot
his party
Tnc niinr and haihless
Speaking of hair the congressional animal
show has nil kinds of color There are twen-
ty-sovon red heads in this congress ns there
was In the last , but the house has still its
shnro from the brightest Vermillion to the
brickdust hue , and from the black of Dal-
roll of Pennsylvania to the silky white fuz
ot Tom Heed , Fully ono third of tlio mem-
bora nro moro or loss bnld , and this baldness
runs nil the way from the liltlo whlto spot us
big as a ilfty-cout ploco which now oppoars
In the center of Hen Uutterworth's crown to
the vast expanse of rosy-white which covers
tno brains ot Cole of North Carolina Hltt
of Illinois nocas the sarvicos of the seven
long-hnlrod slstors to rovlvlfy his scalp , and
Harry Hinghnm of Pennsylvania has no
moro hair on the top of his bead than you
will And about the rosiest dimple of Madam
Langtr.v's check J. D. Taylor of Ohio Is
fast becoming bald McCrcary of Kentucky
has a forehead which lb climbing toyurds his
crown and tlioro Is nothing but a inr.iy down
left on the big beau of Kogor Q. Mills of
Texas Amos "Cutnmlngs' brnius nro oatlng
nway bis hair and Adams of Illinois has n
bald spot the slzo of a trade dollar nt his
crown nround which tbo remainder of his
brown hair radiates Cabot Ledge has short
brown hair which stands up all over Ills hond
and JLn Follelto of Wisconsin Is uflllctcd with
a cowlick nil ever his cranium Ashbcll F.
Fitch of Nuw York lacks hair Crisp of
Goorgla would glvo $1,000 an inch to have
his bead ropluntcd nnd Silver Dollar Bland
will soon have a pate as whlto as the coins
which ho believes the country ought
to use Carlisle is fast growing
bald nnd Holnnn's hair Is thinning
McTCInloy's ' bond Is still dark and well
thatched Henderson of Iowa sports a mag
nificent brush of Iron gray , and McComns of
Maryland has hair as thick as the fur nt the
seal nnd as black as the raven Martin ot
Texas oils his hair with bears grease , and
the looks ot fix-Speaker Banks are thlcit
and well bruBhod , though tbey nro whiter
than snow Cheadlo of Indiana has brown
hair and a sandy board , and ho is a freak of
the first water , nnd it Was ho who by bis
movement in favor of Mllburn made the
democratic blind parson the chaplain ot con
gress
HlSTOIilCU CURIOSITIES
Our historical curios are numerous in this
congress Uucltalow of Pennsylvania was
United States minister to Equador before the
war , nnd ho was a United btatos sonntor in
1603. He is a smooth-faced dark complexion
man of slxty-nino years of ago , and ho has as
.votmadono rooiarkablo speeches Banks of
Massachusetts is ono of the most noted char
acters in American history That tall ,
straight , slender , flno looking man with the
gray mustache and the mass of snow
whlto hair is ho Ho sits near
the speaker on the republican sldo of tlio
chamber and ho has as much Iron in bis
blood as when ho learned the trade of tnn-
chlnest in a cotton factory From mechanics
ho went to the law and ho was elected
spoil leer of the house of representatives as a
knownotbing In 1855 , He hasbecn governor
of Massachusetts , was a general during the
Into war and hasfora numberof times served
in the house
Wbittborno of Tennessee has been in the
sennto and McCroary ot Kentucky and Gear
of Iowa have been " governors ot the Btates
they represent
Ex-Speaker Carlisle may pose as an his
torical curiosity and General Joe Whooior ,
that tight Uttlo dark facod-man with a long
beard was ono of the most noted cavalry
leaders of the confederacy Out of 330
members fully one-halt have war records
nnd there are nlaoty union soldiers in con
gress and oighty-flvo confednrato ones
Hooker ot Mississippioao ot the most noted
of the southern members lost an arm on the
battlefield and it was in battle that Hender
son , Bootman of Ohio and Laws ot Nobraskn
each lost one of his legs
TUB I.1TEUVHV FEATUnES
There are Bomo literary curiosities la this
great show Amos Cummings way bo called
tbo editorial freak of tbo house Ho is about
tlvo foot olght inches high , dresses in busi
ness clothes and has thestudont's stoop His
face is fair He has a broad torohead , dark
brown hair and a sandy mustache which
hangs down ever a good mouth Ho sits in
front of the speaker and writes at bis desk
ull day long usingn pencil and upad of print
ing paper Ho carries on a newspaper
bureau in addition to bis congressional work
and doubles the amount of his congressional
salary with his pen Ho is the only man in
congress who writes editorials at bis desk
nnd ho reminds one of Horaoo Greeley who
did work while ho was in the house and
whoso famous tniloago expose has become n
matter of history Ex-Governor Ding
ley of Maine Is the editor nnd proprie
tor of a newspaper Boutello nlso
owns a nowsoaper and O'Donnoll
has a paper In Jackson City , Mich , which is
said to pay him $10,000 a year John T.
Came , tbo Mormon delegate , Is interested in
the Salt Lake Herald , which is a paying
shoot nna well edited , and Henderson llonry
Cabot Ledge ndds to his income by writing
works of political biography Ho has a num
ber of books in the American Statesmen
series nnd his pen is a fluent one
CONQIIE38ME.V WITH HOnMBS
Judge W. H. Holman of Indiana is the
economical freak of the housa mUBeum Ho
has boon hero for twonty-four years and
duilng the whole of that time ho lias boon
cutting down tbo expenses of tbo government
on every item His knowledge of the cost
of things Is wonderful Ho knows to a cent
Just how much every charwoman In tbo
treasury gets and bo can tell you to a mill
whnt every brick In the now pension build
ing cost Ho Is known ns the great objector
jector" uud ho has killed many a bill by
slinging out his long linger at the speaker
and Baying "I object Judge Holman is
six foot tall and a foot and a
halt broad across the shoulders . His
buslnoss nre hung upon his frame and nature
has boon as stingy in ho ? appropriation of
fat to him as bo is to the civil service in his
giving out or the government funds His
board is now turning to iron gray and his
brown hair has many whlto strnnds . Ho Is
fond of tobacco and ho alts in his scat with
his pencil In his band nnd figures and chows
all day long Ho is fond ot fine cut but when
ho makes his campaigns in Indiana he is
said to carry a plug of pigtail twist which
ho offers to his constituent * . Ho is too
economical to allow bis voice melody and
fullness , and bo rasps out bis spcoehes with
the sound ot n buz saw when it strlkos a
knot He gestures in pump-bandlo style ,
and he is in short a statesmah ot the blue
Jeans Williams typo Ho is a bind boartod
follow withal and is as honest as tbo day is
long Ho is worth about * 100,000 and has a
line farm in southern Indiana
Silver Dollar Bland has made all the renu-
tauou he has out or the bill which bore his
name I am told that Senator Allison is the
author of the bill , but that it was given to
Bland and iio got the credit of it Bland is
a semi-bland , brown-wbiskeroa , common *
faced man ot fifty-four. Ho dresses in bus
ness clothes , and evidently wears bis suits a
long time , llo looks moro like a country
grocer than a famous congresiiuan , and bo i
evidently has not a surplus of the silver
which is being coined In his name Ho 1
comoi from Ohio , and first came to congress
in 1803 from Missouri
TUB IUNNIKST MAN IN COXGUESS
Ho is too good a follow to bo called the '
clown of the congro sionnl museum , is Allen
of Tupelo , Miss Allen is possessed of the ,
genius of humor , Fun ahluox out through
every line of his solemn face , and he is the
best atter-dinuor speaker at Washington ,
Straight and slender , with the sallow com
ploxiou of tbo south , he bus a low forehead
which is rapidly rising through bis paucity of 1
hair towarus his crown Ho has a browu
mustacuo , bright black eyes , and a face like ,
a funeral He is a good speaker , and is pos
sessed of good abilities m other ways than
those of bumor Ho is tbo only wit left in >
congress , ana bo Is the prince ot those who •
have go no before He outshines Jim Hoi
foul and throws O'Neill of Missouri and 1 [
Tim Tarsnoy of Michigan Into tbo shade ,
Ho is a better story toiler than was Sam [
Cox , and he could make a fortune as a i
lecturer
TUB TALLEST AMI TUB BHOllTEflT
The tallest man in the house is sull Stew
art of Texas , and the shortest u Uttlo La
Follctto 1 or Wisconsin Stewart Is big all
ever i Ho weighs close to275 pounds nnd ho
has a leg ns big around ns Joe Whcclor's
waist Ho hns benn In congress for six
years ; , and his specchos in the Congressional
Record , if tbo pages wore pasted togcthor ,
would not bo ns long ns bis frnmo Ln Fol-
letto 1 Is nctrly a foot shorter thnn ho is and
bas I twice the reputation on the floor Ho
is ! a member of the wnys nnd means
commltteo ' nnd notwithstanding bis five foot
thrco ' inches , his 100 pounds weight nnd his
boyish look , ho has made a place for hlmsolf
In ' thohouso Ho appreciates the disadvan
tage of bis slzo nnd It > s snidtbatho once
had a great ambition to bo an nctor Ho
called upon Edwin Booth and nsked his nd-
vlco about studying for the stage Booth
told him that ho had no doubt that ho pos
Bcssod > hlstrionlo talent , but ho said ; rofcr-
ring to ono of Shnkcspenro's plays : Sup
posojouwero fighting a duel ln which you
wcro to bu the leading character : * , ou would
probably hoar a cry from the gallery asking
your opponent to tnko ono of his size You
| nre n bright fellow but you nro too Uttlo to
bo nn nctor " La Follotto then dropped tbo
stage ; idea , studied law nnd is now making n
reputationns < n statesman
OTIIEIt ATTlUCTIOXS ,
The new congressmen furnish their share
of , the curiosities The only colored man In
congress , is Choathom of North Carolina ,
who Is a brlght-oycd , woll-dresspd , ginger
bread mulatto who has been a slave and who
is n collcgo graduate and a lawyer "Utsing
Bun Morse is n broad-faced millionaire from
Massachusetts , who makes a big head look
bigger by a pair of fat sido-wbiskors. Ho
started ln Iifo by poddllng steve polish , nnd
ho Is now devoting himself to sending goods
from the agricultural department to his
constituents , John J , O'Noill , ono of the
funnv mon of the last hausc , Is Buccoodod by
a millionaire , and ono of the brightest ot the
now mon from Missouri , n hlack-hatrod
brunette named Frank , who Is nil nerve nnd
, brain Another nervous Uttlo fellow is Wil
son , from the state of Washington , who tolls
enough , good storlos to enable him to laugh
himself fat , but who is ns thin as a rail , nnd
who looks as overworked as the borso of a
bobtail car Carter of Montana is n middle
ngod mun of moro than ordinary ability Ho
Is tall , brown-haired , fair-faced and has
straw-colorod chin whiskers Hansbrough of
Norta Dakota is a rosy-cheeked , brown-mus-
tached man of thirty who rejoices in coniiug
from Devil Lake , and who Is an editor
Ono ot the curiosities of the house is Bullock
of Florida , who states In the directory that
ho has a family of thirteen children Ho
does not say how many of his children uro
girls Ho is sixty years of ants , has nidod
ln touudlng a female instltuto and has
raised enough of a family to start this acad
emy Hltt of Illinois wears a rod necktie
Hnvno of Pennsylvania always has a pepper
and-salt business suit nnd Cabot Ledge parts
his hair in the mlddlo William M.
Sprlngor never appears in the house
without a rose in bis button
hole and Stahlncckor of Now York prides
himself on his glossy side-whiskors and Is
the handsomest man in the house The
youngest man is Mngnor of Brooklyn and
the oldest in point of service is Judge Kelly
Martin Is , without doubt , the slouchlest
congressman , though ho has Improved since
his coming hero a few .voara ago Honaorson
of Iowa is the loudest You could hear him
cerise a ton-acro Hold Boutcll of Maine Is
another loud talker nnd ho gestures quite as
violently us ho speaks John D. Wise of
Virginia is ono of the most eloquent of the
southern mon and Bon Butterworth can
make as good a sneech as any man on * the
ropu oilcan side of the house All told the
congrcssionaUhow contains a number of rare
animals and though at least 200 oat of the
830 among them could not make their $5,000
n year any place else , fully ouo third nro
worth the prlco paid for their employment
ana earn it Fiuxk G. CAm-ENTEit.
m Dylnir in HnrnosB
John Boi/le / Olleiltu
Only a fallen horse , stretched out there on
the road ,
Stretched in the broken shafts , and crushed
by the heavy load ;
Only a fallen horse nnd a circle ot woador-
ing eyes
Watching the frighted teamster goading the
beast to rise
Hold I for his toll is over , no moro labor for
him ;
See the poor nock outstretched and the
patient eyes grbw dim ; '
See on the friendly stones how peacefully
rests bis hond ,
Thinking , if dumb boasts think , bow good it
is to bo dead ;
After the burdened Journey , how restful it
is to llo
With the broken shafts and tbo cruel load ,
waiting only to diol
Watchers , he died In harness , died in tbo
shafts and straps ,
Foil , and the great load killed him : ono of
the days mishaps ,
Ono of the passing wonders marking the city
road ,
A toiler dying in harness , heedless of call or
goad
Passers , crowding the pathway , staying your
steps awhile ,
Was It the symbol ! Only death ; why should
wo cease to smile
At death for a beast of burden 1 On through
the busy street ,
That is ever nnd'ovor echoing the tread of
the hurrying fcotl
What was tbo sign'a symbol to toacb tbo
tireless will
Does bo who taught ln parable speak in par
ables still }
Thosoodofthe rock is wasted , on heedless
bears of men ,
That gather and sow and grasp and lose ,
labor and sleep and then ;
Then for the prlzo I A crowd In thOBtroot
of ever-echoing tread ,
The toitor , crushed by the heavy load , Is
there In his harness , dead I
PATTI AT SIXTEEN .
When She Appeared at 8a Salle , 111. ,
in Company1 With Ole null
The following from the La Salle (111. ( )
Republican is very interesting just nt
the present time : A nurabor of resi
dents hero have , during tlio past weolc
or so gone to Chicago to lioar Adelina
Patti Many of thorn wore not born
when she sang in La Sallo , ns par the
following announcement , which is a
fac Blmllio of the orignal except iu the
dlsnlav typo , which appeared ln the La
Sallo Pross'uiidor date ot Wednesday ,
August 20,1850 :
Great Musical Attraction
At the Baptist Church
This Kvoning
Ole Bull
respectfully announces to the .cltlzous
of La Sallo and vicinity that he will
give positively only ono
Grand Concert ,
On Wednesday Evening , August 20 ,
Assisted by the following eminent
artists :
Adollnn Pattl ,
The Wonderful Vocalist , surnnmod
The Young Mallbran ; "
Louis Solirolbor ,
The Great Cornet Playorj
Franz Roth , <
The Distinguished Pianist and
Composer
& * For particulars boo Programme ,
Tickets $1. Reserved seats 81,50 , to
ho had nt J. W. Garfield's rnuslo store ,
where a diagram of tbo house may bo
soon Tickets also for sale at tho'Hurdy !
house and at the door
Doora open at 71 oclock Concert to
commence at 8.
Ole Bull was taken sick a day or two
nftor that concert , and went up to the
Sulphur Spring house , then kept as a
hotel , where ho romalued lor a wool : or I
more and was attended by the late Dr
H. M. Godfroy , then a rosldont of this
idaco Pr.tti Btoppod at the Hardy
house , then kept by J , Anthony , for
three or ( our days nnd roomed with the
landlords daughter She was at thut '
time apparently fifteen or sixteen yours
of ago , swarthy as an Inalan and full ot ;
ginger She took great delight in
carrying on a handkorchlof flirtation
with a young man who was then a clerk !
iu CrulcksbanK'a bank across the way ;
in the Sharp building In view other
brilliant and won dor Jut career and the 1
universal fame alio has achieved , this 1
Uttlo reminiscence ot her early life is I
not without interest
TBDDCBTS ' LIGHTER VEIN
Wolfa From the World of Wit and
gumor
THE.KICKER'SNEW DEPARTMENT
cJ
It Will Ho United Tly n Gambler or
Thirty Vonr'f Exporlonce Ex-
ocsslvo > olltniioR8 AH Hlr
Ojvn ; Fnult
The Klokor's Now Dctinrtinont
Detroit Proo Press : Last week wo
established ' a now department in The
Kicker thnt ot answering questions
,
concerning disputed points on games ot
chnnco , as well as making decisions
thereon These games will lncludo
ouahro , , old sledge , sovon-tip , pedro ,
whist , keno , faro , roulette etc , taking
in , in fact , onch and every game known
to the sporting world
This department will bo edited by an
old gnmblor ot thirty years oxporlcnco ,
nnd who carries seven knifo-woutids and
the scars ot four Inillols ns proof3 of his
his litornry cnlibor
The fnct that Buch a department hit
the bulls eye is ovldoncod by the fnct
that wo have added twonty-ono now
subscribers within a week , and they are
still coming Wo were intending to
devote this spuco to roltgious nov\s , but
nftor looking the ground ever , and dis
covering that there was none to chron
icle , wo gave wnv to the urgent rte
mandsot the bojs and instituted the
new departure It Is the goncra "l belief
that this will do moro to boom our town
than it wo had secured $50,000 for anew
now government building All com
munications intended for this depart
ment should bo addressed : Gambling
Department of the kicker ? ' Write
only on ono Bldo of the paper , nnd do
not attempt to wrlto with blood
Pollto and Untrutlilul
Youths Companion : It is possible
that there is such a thing as being too
polite ; at least , ono may err in the di
rection of a too obsequious courtesy It
is said that a royal personage once
asked a courtier what time it was , and
the man remarked with a low reverence -
once and with hated breath :
Whatever time your majesty
"
pleases
Doubtless the king would have boon
better pleased with a less llattorlng and
moro definite answer
There is a tradition in a certain
house that one qf its guests was so polite
that none of hot * preferences could bo
ascertained , und the following incident
is always quoted in illustration of her
phcnomlnal courtesy :
Now , Kitty1 said her hostess ono
morning , "wo carl , either row or drive
this morning , which would you pro
forr" - . .
Thank you ; that will bo charmincr , "
was the tiou-commutal rouly , and as her
hostess afterward'declared , wild horses
could not have drawn from her a further
avowal " '
Such careful cburtesy is often exceed
ingly nmusingantj when used by an
Irishman , one can fancy that It would
00 provocative "of smiles An Irish
sailor once called thocaptain of Ins-vos-
sol from a colTo-i house with the flatter
ing statement : *
' Ant plazo y9jfjJon6r ) , the tide la wait
ing for ye ! " „ , . ;
Surely tno captain might have
thought himself moro than tho.oqual of
Klng'Cnnuto ' , who found , by actual experiment
perimentthufhc was unequal , to con
trol tlio sort 4 "
Perhaps the advice r- qf.a cortnln dear
old lady applios'to etiquette as well as
*
to ether affntrs oTylife Speak the
truth always , " she was wont to say , but
speak it guntly.t '
A Touch Goosn '
Texas Siftings : Old Zaelc shuffled
forward , as his name was called , closely
followed by the ofllcor who had captured
him in one of his nocturnal chlckcn-
stealing expeditions Ho hold his cat
skin cap tigntly under hisurm , rubbing
his woohy head thoughtfully with his
disengaged hand
Well , prisoner , what if vour namoi1"
"Zacharias Tobias "
"Whnt'
' • Zacharias Tobias "
Are you sure it is not Annniusy"
"I ain't sure of nuflln' , yor nonnr ; but
1 'spocts it'll bo Dbnnis fo' I gits out ob
yore "
Well , Donnls I should sav Ananias
you were found in Deacon Smiths
chicken-coop this morning at II o'clock ,
I bollovo ? "
Quarter pas three , yor honor "
'
Well , then , 8:15 : , to bo moro exact
I suppose you went there to road
poetry "
"Sar'
Did you go there to road poetryV"
Eat poultry ? 'No , sar ; dent want
no raw poultry bout dis niggah Dent
eat poultry till its dotio cooked "
Well < Dennis , I am afraid your poul
try will be cooked this time your
goose at least Do you think you can
got it done m thirty days1"
Its pretty tough , yor honor "
Well , then , make it sixty days , so as
to bo on the safe Bide "
And ii3 old Zack moved nway ho mur
mured , softly , "Duu fixed it dis time ;
bound to get three square meals a day
fur do next two months , she . "
A Grout liniirnvomnnt
Arizona Kicker ( Detroit Proo Press :
Colonel Obodiah Shaw , our popular
register ot deeds , has probontod ds with
a now 118-cnlibor revolver of the Smith
& Wesson makeas a token of his os
teen ! and affections , und wo feel as
proud as a boy with his first pair of
hoots
Wo have boon , , ! some of our frlonds
know , greatly pampered in our work
during the past y ur by an old fashioned
revolver which could uovor bo depend
ed on in an emergency It was out of
repair all ulong'tho'liue , and when wo
brought it dowtJ'on a man wo uovor
felt sure which 6t us would got the con
tents It was * j ) also too largo
for our pibjpjj pocket , und on
thrco or four occasions 1110011101' man
had opened flrorbbforo wo could got it
out When ArKuhsas BUI mot us In
front ot Tuylor'Stflflik ono day last sum
mer and opened fljo ho had pulled the
trigger three tlmqj before wo could cot
our old Bhooting oiron on line with his
loft lung We dltln't expect to drop
him thou , as tlin itiummor was out of
true , but when wo pulled ho tumbled ,
and ho llvod long enough to toll us that
ho made the mistake ot his Ufo when *
ho set out to remove the editorial head
of Arizona's great weekly newspaper
This now weapon adds to our editorial
zealand ontorpriseand puts tlio Klcltor
on a moro curtain foundation Wo have
had only ono weeks practice , and yet
wo can draw it and send two bullets j
lipnlng through a follow-bolng'flcarca83 1
while an average school boy cun got his 1
mouth puokored to begin the first line
ot Henry Clay'e great speech Wo shall
not bo Batisllod until wo have done n
Uttlo bpttor than that live seconds
I
better Moanwhiio , uny ono hankering
for our scalp can find us at the usual
place , prepared to do the best wo can
under the circqstanccs
llo Objected to OiKurottes
New York TJmos : Three laborers i
were smoking their pipes during the >
noon hour u few duys ago ou bouth
"
Fifth nvonuo when a woll-drossod young
man came briskly nlong holding an unlighted -
lighted cigarette in his fingers
"My man , " snld ho to ono of the
laborers , will you accommodate me
with a light ? "
"Sortltily , eor , " ropllcd the lnboror
stolidly , nnd ho fumbled about his
clothing until ho found a match , lighted
It and passed it up to the young man
Thanks , " 6aid the cigarette smoker ,
but it wasn't noscsstry for you to
light n match I would ns Hot lighted
my clgarotto from your plpo
• ' 01 don 't doubt it Ser , 01 dent
doubt It , " rcturnod the man , but do yo
boo , Oi wouldn't aa liv yo would Whin-
over yo want a light tor yor slggerlt an'
01 have a match , its yours , do yo see ,
hut It 01 dent have a match yell nlvor
light wun of thlm things in my polpo "
The clgnrotto Binokor passed on some
what niiashod
I'rcncliliiir mid irrnctlco
Rochester Democrat : llo was'an old
aud bonovolont-looklng gontlomannnd
in compauy with sovornl others ho
stood on the platform of a South nvonuo
car ono afternoon when it was raining
nnd seats were nt n premium One of
the mon on the platform had boeu
cnught in the rain without nn umbrella
and ho wits wet Ho was mad also , and
used his time in cursing the wonthor
nnd his luck nnd sovornl ether things
sotto voce The benovolcnt old gentle
man hoard him and , tapping him on
the shoulder , said :
Dour ttiond , dent swear Its a
w'ckod ' and useless habit It does not
do a bit of good Dent swear , I bog ot
you "
The car door was open aud the B. G.
stood with his hand on the casing of
the door Just at this juticturo the
drivorbangod the door shut nnd the old
gontlomnn's hand was plnchod The
old gentleman howled with pain and
called that driver moro names aud said
moro cuss words in a minute than
could bo wrlttod in ton The iqan who
was wet reached ever nnd rapped the
old gentleman on the shoulder and
said :
Dear friend , dent swear , " but before -
fore ho could say any more the old gentleman
tloman jumped off Into the rain fol
lowed by the laughter of the earful of
people
Not ho Ilnnly-LieKg--l ns llo tiiokeil
San Francisco Chronicle : They sat
011 the sofa They had just come to a
mutual understanding and ho had
measured her linger for the engagement -
mont ring , and they were in the firBt
throes of tender reminiscence
You do not remember , " ho said in a
trembling volco you do not remem
ber when you llrst saw mo "
Yes , I do "
Did any little thrill or throb toll
your heart this happy moment would
coino ? No ; that could not bo ox-
poetod "
Yes ; Boniothing did seem to whisper -
per that wo might become man , and
wife "
"My darling , " ho said , and ho kissed
her fondly
Yes , 1 remember I saw you from the
window leaving the house and I thought
you were bandy-legged , and I thought
how awful It would bo to marry a bandy
legged man , but it was only the glass in
the window that was uneven and made
you.look bo "
. Couldn't J'ODl Him
Glebe Democrat : Cautious Investor
How did you got at this natural gas ,
anyhow
Olllcor of the Company Wo bore a
hole in the ground till wo strike whnt
is called a pocket of gas Then wo run
it through plpos to the houses of con
sumers
But mightn't somebody else bore
down and strike the same pocket ? "
Not ln our vicinity Wo own all the
land for miles "
Got a good title ? "
Boon examined by the best lawyers
in the county and pronounced perfect "
* Any lawyers in your company ? "
"I think wo have not loss than six ,
and some of them own largo amounts of
stock "
( Buttoning up'hls Coat ) . Six lawyers
nnd only one pockotl I'vo got no raonoy
to put in it , b'goshl"
DIsasrcenlily So
Boston Times : Hospital physican
( looking into the nmbulanco ) The man
is dead His skull has boon fractured
and his face is beaten to a pulp Where
did you find him ?
Olllcor 7001 At the surprise party
down the street ser
Who was surprised , did you say ? "
The corpse 1 t'lnk , sorl" *
Whui U Necessary
New York Sun : Agontloman of stand
ing and roputatlon in the country was
at an informal dinner given the ether
night to half a hundred Now Yorkers
Ho wus called upon for a speech Ho
chose for it subject The Harrison Ad
ministration , " and when well aloq.g in
his remarks ho told what , in his opin
ion , were the chief requisites for ofllco
under this administration Gentle
man , " said ho , "in order to got an ofllco
under Harrison it is necessary to bo
either :
"A son ot a prosldont ,
"A sou of a clergyman ,
' "Or of . "
a sou a gun
It brought down the house
A Candid Tramp
Texas Siftings : Gllhooly Buys ho does
not thinic it right to bestow promiscuous ,
charity
Not long since a hard-looking tramp
stopped him and osked for a temporary ,
loan Although Gilhooly was disposed
to regard the transaction moro ln the
light of a permanent investment , ho
nevertheless advanced an ontlro dime
Thank jou , colonel , thank you I
can toll by your looks that you Know
how a follow fooU who has had no edu
cation and haa to boat his way , " replied
the tramp In a wild outburst ot mingled
gratitude and candor
A Good JiOinl 1'raatico.
Philadelphia Society : Young Law
yer : You have advortlsod that you
uro going to retire from practice and
wan * , to sell out " Old Lnwyor : Yob
Do you wIbIi to buy a good practice ? "
Yes , How many cllonts have you ? "
Two " "Is that it practice ? " Young
man , I'vo llvod oil these two clients for
sixteen years Ones aolaimant under
a contested will und the others fighting
un Alahama claim " ( They come to
terms )
A Fearful ISIundcr
General Manngor : Angry parent
What ! been discharged after only ono
weeks work ua brnkoraan ?
Son Yes ; they said 1 was too green
for thorn
Parent Well , well , I thought you
were prottv well up in that kind of
business What raistako did you make ?
Son Culled the names of the stations
so the passengers could understand
them first tlmou
The Wronc Oonr
Time : First Prohibitionist Yes , I
saw Touchnot , ono of our leading pro
hibitionist , coming out of the front
door a saloon yesterday ,
Second prohibitionist Youaro right ,
nnd there is do oxcuto for it , either
Why , there isn't a sluglo saloon iu this
place thut hasn't u back door Ill
speak to him about it "
Insist on haying the genuine RodCross
Cough Drops , fi cts a box Sold every
where
• t
'
SET OF TEETH ON RUBBER7 *
For Five Dollars
DR R. W. BAILEY , Dentist ,
Faxton Block , 16tli and Fariiam Streets
"Wfi * At * . ! . U TTo-pc * fn KJbcVy CJ + - months and lmving lnrgoly within Increased the pnst two our
offlco room , nro now batter prepared to turn out the best class of
work , and much lVioro rapidly than heretofore Wo mnko a full set
or tooth on rubber for FIVE DOLLARS , gunrnnteod to bo ns wol _ _ v , ,
made ns plntos sent out of nnydetitnl office in this country Do not
let ethers . influence you not to come , but jnnko us n call and see for
yourself
Teeth extracted WITHOUT PAIN , nnd without using chloroform
gas , other or electricity Filling at lowest rotes Remember the lo
cation . DR BAILEY , Dentist , Pnxton Block
< * Pn.evenings . until8 o'clock Tsbo , elonttor onlOtli street 10tU nna l'arnnta
Cut this out Mention thlspnpsr
MAX MEYER & BRO
CTErvVIEilL.EilB.S ,
Will sell for the next 10 days , at the Lowest
Auction Quotations , all of the stockleft of our
retail department Some of the most desira
ble goods in
Diamonds , Watches , Jewelry , Art Good
Bronzes , Clocks , etc.j etc V
Remember the opportunity will last but 10
days only Store for rent and Fixtures for sale
MAX MEYER & BRO
Cor 16th and Farnam Streets
HL M. PICCARDT
$4.00 mug ) $4.oe
Best Gold Spectacles Reduced
$4.00 J <
Baiuge Block , Corner115th and Harney Streets
Omaha
WOODS
IHllplce Tools j
WEGARRYaCOMPLETESTOCK I
WRITE FOR CATALOGUE AND PRICES J
JAMES MORTON & SOI\T , Agents , JM
Telepliune437 , 1511 Dodge St y
ciECTKicAi ixoiMiit : ; amu contractok ,
HEPKi:8ENTlNQ : CHICAGO OFl'lCK
Brush Electric Company ,
Estimates and plans furnished Correspondence sollcltod , • *
832-833 N. Y. Lire Building , - - - - - Omaha
Dewey & Stone ,
Furniture Company
A magnificent display or everything userul and ornamental Iiij the
furniture makers art at reasonable prices . J
" - Tm
ETCHINGS , j ) II MF % . < # % B K3TEMGRSON , |
engravings , j MM m Mm ML ssthallet & davis . - M
ARTIST SUPPLIESjSJi 1 K3TKIMDALL ,
MOULDINGS , JHi lBB d " PIANOS & ORGANS J
FRAMES , . HH hrPI HSII12ET MUSIC I
1513 Douglas Street , Omaha Nebraska 1
l OMPMTE ST6ciT0P
Ice Tools
HIMEBAUGH & TAYLOR , ' 1405 Dougias St j
Send for catalogue I
MAX GEISER ,
Importer of and Kculgrlti All Kluds of
lint , Fisli iinfl Rare Animals
Illltll ( ! A0i.S : , FOUNTAIN AUAIU (
IUM.S , SHELLS , ETC
IMPORTED BIRD SEED A SPECIALTY
417 S. 15th St
OMAHA - NEB
* s
fsmw
\y \ collarj
TO WEAK " > IEqf
Buffering from tlio etmu uf youthful errou , curlr
decor , wiulliut wcxkneu , iokt inauhoud , rlf I will
muiI • Tslunblt Ue&iu ( tralwJi uuiiulmiiK Jul !
iiirtlculan for borne uire PHKIS of ( Jiaric * . A
splendid medical work i ehould Ik rrad br e err
fcn&n tvbo la iittmma and deMUtatad jtddrraf
Vxuf V. C. VOUMjUU , Heudusuoau
MEN'S
Furnishing Goods
/IP J- '
& SPENCER OTIS , •
M cU nlcal ISuvlneer and Drafmnan , Cuniplct *
Urawlngi , Mxtlliratloiu and Buiierlnlcndann . lo
Kloratora Mill , . facltrlei , or Hueclttl MaUiluerif ,
raalngi and lllue 1'rtnU furntalied
vkitxxt oihou worn * a BJ'KWAi/rr ,
CHICHESTER'S INOLIBH
PENNYROYAL PILLS ,
-IJ'Jjn ' IMP CROSS PIAMOND RAND , ,
fffiV ' Safe , w * is4 alvaia i UtLW Laalea aali . .
* Wl > nwht far 111 , i4 UranManftSuiiS 'V
. , . . .
Jtf Lui.i MM wllill rltKa Take B allien V
m hu 4 . ( > tiaiI * Ltnlo Ur > ui" UU r to V
If l 41 * "fc.J /.rt/rctMrii . IL.V .iw V
Dr , JOHN C. JONEST
rilAUTIOt : MUITKIITI )
IHKKAfeKg Of WOMEN
Offlcs , U.K.Cor , 13Ui sad Ui/iwl eta * buttiapek - ,
UMimMMi