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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 3, 1889)
* \ ! THJE OMAHA DAIIA BE1L : SUNDAY , NOVEMBER 3. 3889. PAGES. ri * * is GRAND OPENINGis ALL DEPARTMENT ; Tue Grand Opening of New Novelties In MILLINERY INSPECTION INVITED. Handkerchiefs. Bargai ns extraordinary in Our Hand kerchief Department. 200 clozdn Manufacturer's seconds , slightly imperfect , tit greatly reduced prices. 76 do/on Ladies' Linen Lawn Hand kerchiefs , hemstitched , fast colors , good value for 15e , at Oo each. 60 do/en Ladies' Sheer Lawn Hand kerchiefs , at 121 c ; worth 20c. CO dozen Gonts'all Linen Hemstitched Handkerchiefs , colored borders , worth 20c , for 12Jo each. CO tlo/.cn Gents' Linen Handkerchiefs , hemstitched , fast colored borders , for 2Oo ; worth Me. Drapery Nets. Wo are giving a special mile this week in Black and Evening Drapery Nets. 40-incli wide pure Silk Nets at $1.25 yard ; worth 81.75 yard. 60-inch fancy Chenille Drapery Net , in cream , at 83.5O yard. 23 doxon Embroidery Mull Ties , worth 20c , special price 13c each. 20 do/on Stamped Pillow Shams , only 2Oo pair. I Hosiery Department. Items of interest to the Ladles : 50 do/on All Wool Cubhmo-o Hose nt 26o a pair ; worth ! 55e. 60 doxcn Boys' Heavy Bicycle Hose , guaranteed fast black , sizes 7 to 10 , ut 26o a pair. Ladiea' Jersey Fitting Vests , war ranted non-shrinking , in white only , at 75o ; worth 81.00. Ladies' Jersey Fitting Arosts , Aus tralian wool , in white and natural , ut $1.25 , drawers to match , $1.60. Gents' Furnishings. Specials in our Gents' Furnishing De partment this week. 100 doxon Derby Ribbed Half Hose , full weight , in all shades , at 25oa pair , cheap atlOc. . 50 do/en Cashmere Half Hose , assor ted colors'seamless , good value for U5c , at 25o a pair. Men's Natural Gray Underwear , all styles , shirts and drawers , at 86c each , uould be cheap at $1. Dr. Warner's Health Underwear , Camel's Hair , winter weight , at 85.OO n suit. . Orders from. an.cl 2aoperl3r ; : Filled. 1037- - THE SILENTMEN OFTHE EAST How They Shave in the Backwoods of Asia. TAKE IT OUT BY THE ROOTS. Mr. OnrpiMitur'd Itcmcli Kvnorinricc AVitli u Toiisorlul Artist in Kjtypt How Hair Mnkun u Man In Korea. Harbors of ti ! < ! Orient. \CopurlaM1SS \ ! ) . ] The greatest shavers in the world are the Chinese. Every week tit least one hundred million almond-eyed faces must bo cleaned by the ra/.or , and every ten days the hair is scraped from the scalps surrounding at least that number of long , black Chinese pig-tails. The bar bers constitute ono of the most im portant parts of the Chinese population. They have tholr guilds and tholr trades- unions , and , sonio j'cars ' ago they brought the cmpoior himself to his knees. There was an edict In force that classed the barbers with lowest ranks of the Chinese people , and that prohibited them from entering the competitive examinations forolllcial rank. The barbers struck , and de manded that this bo rescinded. For ovoral weeks the whole Chinese nation ( vent unshavod. The black hair sprouted out to the length and stillness of the bristles of "the Berkshire hog , and a wail of anguish rose from the throats of millions of Chinese man. Public opinion has its weight in Chilians in America , nnd the emperor came to terms. Now a barber's son may become viceroy of China , and it Is not an im possibility that a barber himself should P aspire to bo minister to the United r States. The Chinese pig-tail is a badge of servitude. A little more than throe hundred years ago the Chincbo prided themselves on tholr long , black hair , which covered the whole of their heads. When they were conquered by the Man- ohus , who rushed in from the north , their conquerors imulo thorn shave their heads ns a sign of submission. Shaved heads became the fashion , and now , even the Manchus themselves wear bald scalps. The Chlnunmn has become I'uoun or IIIH THI-TAII , . Ho braids false hair into it to make it longer , and pieces it out with black silk thread. Ho oils It until it shines like polished jot , and he lets this greasy , black snake hang down upon and soil the most delicate of yellow and sky-bluo silk gowns. Ho has his hair restorer just as has the American dude , and It may ho of advantage to some of our bald-headed men to know that u fat rat diet is supposed , in China , to bo conducive to hair growing. I nwkod my Chinese servant , while traveling through to Peking as to the price * of shaving. Ilo told mo that in the in terior you could got a slmvo for a cent , and that the prices rose according to the wealth of the cubtomor. "Mandarins , " said he , "often luuo harbors connected with their yamens , and the swell Chinaman is slmvod in his own residence. Ninety-nine hundredths - drodths of the shaving is , however , done on the street , and the harbor's whole outtlt costs lost than $3. His razor , which is in the shape of a trian gle , can bo bought for from 5 to 10 cents. The strop , made of cotton or leather , costs about a nickel , and his brass ba sin is less than a dollar. Ho has two little stools painted red , without backs , upon which his customers sit bolt up right while they are being shaved. These stools have drawers below them in which his shaving utensils are car ried , and ho goes with them hanging to the ends of a pole , balanced over his bhoulders _ , from" place to place , an nouncing his presence by an immense tuning forlf , about ten inches long , which he pounds against the stools from time to time. Ho uses no soap , and often SHAVJ-.S WITH couVATIK. : . Chinese women Ubually drebS their own hair. They paint their faces and blacken their eyebrows , pulling out the hairs in order to make the arch like that of a rainbow. The heads of Chinese babies arc often shaved , nnd , in Japan , you can loll a baby's ago by its hair. The fu// is shaved from the bcalp of the Japanese infant as teen as it is born ; when it grows to the ago of u certain number of months a ring of hair is allowed to re main surrounding the bald oasis of the crown. A few months lutor a little tuft is blocked out in the center of the oasis , and a palm-treo liico wisp grows upon it. Then other little wisps are allowed to como clo > vn under the oar , and , at last , the hair is grown all over the head. This shaving of the head makes the hair very stiff , and the Japanese has his head covered with still , black wires. Ho looks as if his head were one gigan tic cowlick , and ho has this crop to the length of about ono inch. The old fashion of shaving a strip from forehead to crown , and of wearing the hair long , and doing it up on thu edge of this bald strip in the shape of an old-fashioned door-knocker , is being done nwny with in the cities , and you lind itonly in back counties , and in those who pride them selves on belonging to the old regime. Black or dark Vrown is the common color of the hair of the oabt. A white- haired Jap or a yellow-haired Chinese would got into ' the dime museums , and both nations' look upon red as the color of the head of the devil. There ia a tradition In Japan that the man who drinks too much miki , or Japanese brandy , acquires a redness of hair , and 1 found that JIY ur.o m.u : > cAUhii : ) jiuon I.AUOH- As I traveled through the country. The glrlet would nudge each other and whis per "suki , suki , " as they walked behind mo , and now anA then a Japanese hood lum would point to my head nnd rnol along nu though _ ho wore drunk. The common appellation for the foreigner in Japan and China is "Rod-headed , blue-eyed , Foreign Devil , " and as I ilttcd into this description I was , I doubt not , the bcaro-crow of the chil dren of nt least two nations. The Japanese girln are wonderfully beautiful , and their hair would make that of a Washington hello turn green with envy. Yum Yum soaks her locks in the perfumed oil made from the seed of the camolin. She has them dros&od by a professional hair-drossor , at the extravagant coat of " 0 cents a time , and she does this in her pretty little houbo , open at the street , to that the passer by can , if ho will , inspect the whole operation. She is very modest , but she is not at all particular as to whether her drebs is docolletto or not during the operation. When it is done she has her fuco powdered and enameled , her eyebrows are painted , and bho has as sweet a mnllo us can bo shown by her BOX in any country of the world. The most of her beauty , however , disappears with maidenhood. When she is married she shaves ol ) Black SilkDep't. 05 patterns , from It to 20 yards each , loft from our "Great Black Sllic Sale , " to be closed out from 6Oo to OOo yd ; actual value 31 to $2 per yard. Come early and secure a pattern. Wo open Monday ono case , 72 pieces Black Silks , all the latest and most de sirable weaves. Full line of Black Silk Dress Velvets in our Silk Department. Linens. Idneus. Wo have just received our novelties in Luioii for the Fall and Holiday sea son. Wo can safely say they nro the handsomest over shown in the city. Lunch Sets from 82.50 to $95. Reception Sots from $8 to 665. Tray Cloth from 65o to $4. Side Board Scarfs from 36o to $9.6O. Doylies , Fancy Towels , Carving Cloths , Napkins , Counterpanes , In every , variety and design. Special Sale. Muslins , Sheetings , Cotton Flannel. 1 case Lonsdalo Muslin , SJo.yaru. 45-inch Pillow Case Mns.lin. lOo yard. 1 case Unbleached Cotton Flannel , 5c yard. All of our Muslins and Sheetings have been reduced fur this grand bale. Now is the time to prepare tor your winter sewing. her eye-brows and blackens her tooth , and this eye-brow shaving and teeth blacking is ono of the most disgusting of the old customs in Japan. The omp- rebs and the Indies of the court arc dis couraging it , and its days are probably numbered. It originated. I am told , in the desire of the husband to show that she cared nothing to make herself at tractive to others after she was married , seeming to lose sight of the fact that she might make herself disgusting oven to her husband. It is on the same prin ciple that widows shave their heads in Japan , and that old maids shave off their oyo-brows in order to' show that they have glvon up nil hope of marriage. Suppose every old maid in the United States should put her forehead into the hands of the bar ber to-morrow , think what a havoc the ugliness produced would cause in the families owning the eighty thousand odd unmarried girls in Massachusetts. Siam is the TAND OK TUB SIIORT-HAIKUD ( URL. All of the women of this country wear their hair from one to two inches long , and their locks stand up like black or gray bristles out from their cream-col ored faces. A Siamese buttercup of sixteen , with her plump , yellow cheeks , her bright black eyes , and her lithe , symmetrically formed frame , loosely clad in the Siamese sarong , is a beauty , notwithstanding that her blr.ek hair is short , and that her teeth are reddened with betel-nut chewing. She is as straight as an arrow and as graceful us a gazelle and her Jmir makes you thinic of the saucy nugo boy of the stage. Take the same girl thirty years later. Her plum ] ) ohcotts are sunken , her chcpk bones stand out and her jet black eyes , full and lifeless , look out of hollow sockets. The skin of her forehead is stretched with wrinkles like the cor rugations of a wash board , and over this stands out this short white or gray hair. Her mouth has been discolored and spoiled with betel-nut chewing , and her collar bono is the frame upon which the parchinont-liko skin of her person seems to hang. The old women of Slam are the homeliest old women in the world , and if ono married a Siamese girl ho would need to keep a barrel of Brown-Sequurd elixir on hand. This aging U most rapid in the lower classes , where thq work is hard and the customs of the people tend to make old ago como qnleklv. Thuchlldron of Siam have their heads shaved withlho exception of a lock on the crown. This is not allowed to bo touched until they reiicd manhood , and the ceremony of cuttfng it off is ono of the trrontest events of the cmild's life. The hair cutting of u prince belonging to the royal family costs thousands of dollars. A great feast is given and the barber who docs the work receives a valuable present. Ho clips the locks with golden shears and shaven th6 spot with a gilded razor. When the heir apparent to the throne is shaved in this way the whole nation rejoices , There is a grand festival at Bangkok , in which the royal whlto elephants take purl and feasting goes on for days. Poorer children have this hair-cutting done nt a Buddhist temple , and the priest acts us barber , The Buddhist priests all over the cast shave their heads , and there are 20,000 bnro-pated priests in Bangkok alone , All of the males in the kingdom are supposed at some time in their lives to become priests , and everywhere you go you boo thosebure-hoadeu , bald-headed , yellow-skinned anatomies stalking about , with yellow shoots wrapped around their otherwise naked frames. The Burmese are I'UOUl ) OK THUIIl LONO JIAIIS and both women and men Idt their locks Dress Goods Dep't. Barr's is undoubtedly headquarters for Paris Novelty Dross Goods. A special display will bo mnrto this week of all the most novel mid extreme styles. Placing orders direct as wo do with the manufacturers enables us to undersell all competition , as those goods are usually bought from jobbers at mi ad vance of 16 Of 2O per cent. Buy direct and save the middleman's profit. Fur Trimmings Dep't. Our line of Fur Trimmings is now complete. Black Coonoy , 5 inches wide , at $1.25 yard ; and inches \ wide for 660 yard. Groy Fox , 3 inches wide , worth $1.25 yard , special price 75o yard. Beaver , Black Coonoy , Groy Fox and Monkey will bo very sty.ish this season. Flannels. Cloakings. Our Flannel Dopnrtmontis admitted ly the most complete in the city , with all the latest Paris and London novelties of the season , in the finest qualities , and lowest prices. Wo have just received an elegant line of French Flannels with Persian border , the latest novelties for tea gowns. ' Examine qur now stock of plain and fancy checkfld Eider Down and Jersey Striped Flannels. See our nowlcioths and Cloakings , in English Beuv&r , Scotch Plaids , and the | now FronchlCloakingsin w von figures , positively the latest thing in the mar ket. grow as long'as they will. They are very superstitious as to the day for washing the head , and they consider it unlucky to wash the head on Mondays , Fridays or Saturdays. They will not cut tnoir hair on Mondays or Fridays nor on their birthdays , and , as the birthday of the Burtnan comes once a week , many of the people are restricted to four days for hair cutting. They have many superstitions in regard to their hair , and this is the samq in China and Korea. It is a legend in China that no thick-haired man has over hold the place now occupied by by Li Hung Chang. The Chinaman thinks that the man with a small head and long hair will die poor , and that the man whoso hair turns whlto while ho is young will bo haunted by bad luck. A woman whoso hair is glossy , whoso face is round and plump , may possibly become the wife of the emperor - poror , and the man with long eye brows will live to be a hundred. I did not see any barbers in Korea , and , as the people wear their hair long , there is probably no demand for thorn. The average Korean moustache is like the old joke gotten oil on that of the dude's : "It is like u base ball game , having nine hairs on each side , and ono in the middle for umpire. " If the Korean has any board it is thin and straggling , and as a rule his whole strength , like that of Samson , goes into his hair. The boys of Koreadress their hair like the school-girls of America ; they part it in the middle and wear it in long braids down their backs. They are not considered men.until they are married , and it is at this time they are permitted to wind up their hair into a knot on top of their head and put it under their hats. Ono of the most in significant and contemptible specimens of manhood in the far east is a Korean boy of forty , with his nulr parted in the middle , trailing in a braid below his waist. Ho is kicked around ns though ho wore six , because ho has as yet got no wife TO MAKi : A MAN OF HIM. The Koreans save the combings of their hair , and the parings of their nailr ) , in orderthat they may bo buried with them when they die. In India o'vo'rything runs by caste , and the barbiirs rank with the washer men and blacksmiths. A barber's son is always a biirbor , and a barber's daughter is uro to marry a barber. The Indian barber , like the Chinaman , travels fronmhouso to house to do his shaving. IfoMemrloH all his tools under Ills arm1Hvrappod up'n a cloth , when ho shn\es ; his customers , ho makes him squat dnjvty on his heels and bend over his houy , i He then squats down on his own hoelb in front of him , and the two , without chair or stool , do the busi ness in the most primitive ) manner. lie usually Hhuv'od'wuh ' cold water , and he is a municurj ) ab well as a barber. No Hindoo shatytuilmsolf , and few Hin does pure thotivown nails. The barber in expected to' take the gray hairs out of your head , eyebrows and mustache , and like his Chinese brother , he pays attention to cleaning the oars and to shaving the face , even to the corners of the oj'os. A high-priced barber in India gels from 81,25 to $2 a month per family. An ordinary shave costs from 1 to 2 cents , and a lir&t-clnss hair cut is given for1 from 1 cent to u.nickel. It is quite customary in the east for the families to shuyo their heads when thny go Into mourning , and in .Slum wh'-'ii ' a king dies all the people in the country are supposed to cut oil their hair an close that their pates are as clean as a billiard ball. The head of the corpse is shiivod in India , and , while watching a body being cremated at Hpnnrca , I wiw about a half bushel of human hair lying on the btono stops , no * , f'zr from the tiro. Black Goods. Wo offer this week some special bar gains in French Novelties. 25 Robes all wool French Serge , with white border , at 87.6O ; worth $10. 16 Roboa extra heavy English Serge , with pray border (89 ( ; worth $12.60. 17 Paris Robes elegant styles and finest quality , sold by us for $25 and $10 ! , your choice this week for $18.76. Don't ' buy Black Goods until you BOO Burr's. ' Family Mournings a specialty. Glove Department : .Tust opened a now line of Children's Kid Mittens with fur wrists just the thing to keep the little ones warm. Spoeial prices this week G5c. 76o and 81.00. Ladies' and Children's Cashmere Gloves , black and colored , full line at all prices. Our now line of Knit Mittens is the finest over shown in Omaha , in every shade , in all wool , in all silk , and in silk and wool , in sixes for Infants , Chil dren , Misses ana Ladies. Be sure you see those goods at Barr's. Ribbons. Latest Novelties. Handsome fringed Sashes , four yards lonpr $4.25 , a bargain worthy ol inspection. The greatest variety of shades in the icity in Gros Grain Satin Edge No. 9 , 15cporyard. A splendid ribbon for fancy work. Sat in and Faille No. 12 , 20o per yard. In all widths and shades. I asked where it came from and my guide told me it had just been cut from the heads of the friends and relatives ol the deceased. The Indian barber is a surgeon as well as a shaver. Ho bores the holes in the girls' cars and pierces their noses for the nose ring. Ilo often acts fib A I'KOrr.SSIOKAIi MATCHMAKER , and his wife is a ladies' hair dresser. She trims the nails of the bride for wed dings. and takes off the line clothes of the widow , and dresses her in her funeral garments. 1 had these Hindoo barbers moot mo at every station in India , and thay wore always within call at the hotels. I snail not soon forgot a shave and huir-eutting which I suffered in upper Egypt. The execution took place in the city of Sioot , about three hundroed miles above Cairo. The seat was a plain btool. The barber was n dirty Turk , in : i red turban and a white gown , and ho lirst chopped off my hair with a pair of sheep sheers , pulling it and sawing it at every cut. Several times ho nar rowly escaped my oars , and I was trembling as though I had the ague when ho began upon mo with his razor. I had dismissed my guide , and I did not know enough Egyptian to toll him that I could dispense with the shaving. lie used no boap , and ho wet my beard with cold water from a polished brass basin , out of one side of which had been cut a sort of half-moon hole. Ho fitted this hole into my neck so that my head hung over the basin , like that of John the Baptist on the charger , and then splashed the water up over my face with his uromalio hands. When ho thought I was sulllciently drowned , lie jerked my head back against his bosom uiiU hold it there while ho scraped and sawed and TOIU5 MY IlKAltD KHOM 3IY KACJI. I never know that there wore so "many hairs in my beard before , and when Igo't through 'my cheek looked like the nkin of a sheep when its wool hay boon cut off by an amateur shearer. I am not sure whether the charge was ) ! or'fi cents , but it was the dearest shave 1 over had , and as for my hair I had to have it rocut as soon as 1 got to Cairo. The Turkish barbers are about the same as the Egyptian , and there is in reality no place in the world whore you can trot so good a shave as in America. Shaving in Europe IB cheap , but in few countries yon will find the luxury of the reclining eliair , and as for such palaces as the barber shops of our big cities , they are unknown , A ton- boriul parlor , like that of the Pnlmor house , in Chicago , the walls of which are lined with plate-glues mir rors , and in the lloor til ing of which are sol five hundred gonnino silver dollars , would bo u curi osity in Pokin , Constantinople , Cairo , PnriH , or London , and wo have harbor shops in St. Louis , Onmhn and ICiuihus City which surpass anything in Europe. Wo boat the world on Turkish baths. and I got a bath in Denver a few days ago which waa more nulntial and luxu rious than anything 1 saw in the famed city of the Bultan. I took a fawim in a marble nonl as big as a city lot , and I WHS rubbed down by a white man whoso akin was like marble and whoso frnmo was as symmetrical as Michael Angelo's famed statute of David , FitAKK G. C' Ilfttcr nml Jlrlicr. New York Sun : McCracklo Didn't you tell mo that Maddox belonged to the bettor element of boclcty ? McCorklo Yes. "Well , I've Keen him coining out of gambling places bovoral times. " "Yes ; ho goes there to bet. That's what I paid. " GRAND OPENING EXHIBIT Superb Novelties in CLOAKS Wraps , Jackets , Three Quarter Length Tailor Coats , Russian Moskowas , and Ulsters , on Monday and Tuesday. We hope to see you and all your friends at BARR'S CLOAK DBPT. Colored Silk Dep't. We Imvo just received a shipment of Lttlo Full Novelties , comprising plain and fancy Silk Fabrics. The moat clioico production of European looms. ( Wo invilo the Indies of Ointihii and vicinity to visit our Silk Dopurtmont. Beautiful line of Pineapple Silk Gauges , the most sheer and' exquisite party silk in the market. Blankets & Comforters White Blankets at $1.75 ; worth $2.25. Willie Blaiikots at $3 ; worth S4.00. Fine all wool Blankets at $5'OO. Comforts at 81 , $1.36 , 61.5O , $1.75. Elder-Down Comforts $ < 3 , 07 and Art. This Department in now complete in all its details , full lines of materials and now novelties in fancy work for the Hol- lidays. SAYINGS OF THE FUNNY MEN , Waifs From the World of Wit and Humor. EDITOR CLUGSTON'S DEFINITION. Troubles of the Oyster A. Veteran From West Point Sure Cnro For Colds Unton'H Cul tured Attractions. How a Great Min Blinds Knowledge. Chicago Tribune : "Mr. Clugston , " buid that gentleman's assistant editor , thrusting his head into the 0x10 sanc tum , "hero's a note from 'inquirer , ' who wants to know , through our 'An swer to Correspondents , ' the meaning and derivation of the word 'Sweden- borgian. ' " The editor of the Doodlovillo Yelpcr laid aside for a moment the detailed description he was writing of the 74- pound squash that Farmer Isnoggles , of Woodblock township , had brought in. Ho raised his head , passed his .hand thoughtfully over his Wobsterian brow , and looked llxedly at his shrinking sub ordinate. "Tell 'Inquirer , ' " ho bald , with the calm superiority of a man accustomed to grappling with the deepest problems of life and throwing them every time , "to look in any cyclopedia for the articles under the heads 'Sweden' and 'Borgia , 'and combine the information ho gathers from those sources. You may leave now , Williams. I wish to bo alone. " _ Hadn't I J curd or It. Merchant Traveler : "Did you over roud the 'Mill on the Floss V " asked a young woman of Charley Ohlspoht. "No ; I'm pretty well posted on matters - tors of that kind , but I never hoard of that mill. Was It a good light-1 I don't reckon the men amounted to much in the prosofsion or I'd would have heard of them. " _ A Moilnl Koiintloror , Washington Capital : "Como In ho.-o wid ycz this minit before ycz sphilu yer Fountillcrry clothes. " shouted the fond mother to her freckle-fm-ed BOH. "Yis , dearest' . " " 'Avo yox. boon bavin' a good toimo widout yor mother1" ; "Vis , dear est. " "An , phwnt av ye/ been doln1 ? " "Stlionin' MibS McGuily's ' pig. donrcbl , an' eullin' rats to the police. But I wor always t'inkin' of yes , and lovin' ycx. wid all mo heart , " 'J roubles < > ! ' ilin OvHIor. JVcio Yin I , Jlruilil. "If I wcro nn ovstor , " Riglioil thu crab , "I wouldn't know vvhut to no , For tlio.V'ru : ire ulwaya belli ; ; embroiled , Or galling Into u btinv. " Ilo IViiM n Vfltcrim San Francisco Argus : First cadet Did you over smell powder ? Second cadet -Yea. " \VhoroV" "On a Vassar ifirl. " Too Mnuli id' n hi Merchant Traveler : " .Self-denial , " said a traveling man to another , "Js n trait that * will be found in nearly every woman , It scorns to bo an o.ssontliil part of her nature. She is equal to almost every bolf-donlul. " "And yet. ' ' was the rejoinder , "how few of tlfom are equal to a toalski back-rlllcc . ' Ilo Detroit Free Press : Civil Service Kxamlnor "What are your mmliflea- lions for the stnto of Toxas'i" ' Appli cant for nil mission to the postal service Notions Toilet Articles , Best Stockinet Seamless UrcssShiclde , all sixes , lie pair. I'uro Uubbor Silk Shield Seamless , No. 'J and 11 , 23o pair. Novelty Braid , Assorted Patterns , worth 60c npolco , for 30c. FeathcrStitch Braid , worth 25c apiece , for ISc. Another lot of Lu ml berg's celebrated Perfumer , in all the best odors , lay In your supply , won't last long , 29o bet tle. Standard Florida Water , pint bixe , Monday only. 18c bottle. Khpcy's Cream the ladies' favorite , worthl5o ! bottle , Monday 19c. IT PAYS TO TRADE AT Hi ( fingering an imaginory revolver with superb nerve ) "Throw upyour hands ! " C. S. E. writes out a Hrut grade certift- cato without a word. _ An Impending ; Crisis. _ . Clneana Herald. The turkeys now forsulto tholr glee , And breathe a long-drawn sich ; Tlioy sciiu tlio calendar and see Thanksgivinedrnwmg nigh. On tli Contrary. Fun : Mrs. Smithington Oh ! Mr. Tibkin , you are always so kind in coin ing to sec me off. Little Tibkin Not at all ; its always a pleasure. _ 'J'lio Poetry of Motion. Yankee Blade : She Oh , see that .scarecrow out there in the Hold. HeThat isn't a scarecrow. "It must be ; see how motionless it is. " "T hat's the hired man at work. " An Infallible ICeniody. Epoch : Doctor Take those powders as directed and your cold will bo gene in two or three days. Patient You seem quite bourse , doc- tor. tor.Doctor Doctor Yes , I've had a bad cold for four weeks. _ How Not to Do It. . Somcrvlllo Journal : "Can you give j * * | mo borne of the rules about writing ' poetry ? " ushod the ambitious rhymstor of the successful editor. "Yes , " said the editor , "I can give you the Ih'&l and most important ; don't ! " TOO ] tl < | lllHltlV < > . Texas Siftings : Mistress ( to applicant for cook's position ) "Why did you leave your hibt placoV" Applicant "You are very inquisl- tlve , inarm. I didn't ax yer what for yer last cook left you. " A Kill ill I' dine. Chicago Ledger : "Oh , dear ! look nt that ferocious tigerl" "Don't ho afraid , mum , he won't hurt you. " "They buy ho killed a man last night. " "Yori , mum , but he's very affection- ito , all the HUIDO. " "Alfoctionnto ! " "Yen , mum ; 1 never saw an y.nimal BO flovotcd to his paw and maw. " U'lirit a Crowd In Honlon MC-JITM. .fudge : Stranger What is the moan ng of this vast crowd ; something uu ibuul happening ? Boston man I don't know , sir , Fhavo just arrived on the ground myflols. It nay bo that a symphony concert is just : jvor , or it may bo that Mr. Sullivan Is ilrunk again. _ A l > iHipi'itio ! | .Man. Judge : Hugloy had called on fifteen andlordH , all of whom objected to lens- ng In in their houses because ho had ihildren. At last ho became desperate nd resolved to have a house ut any ost. ost."Well , " ho Haiti to landlord No. ix- ,0011 , "f guess I'll take this place. " "Pardon me , sir , " said the landlord , 'but have you any children ? ' ' "Yost , " bighed Bagloy , "but I'll kill bom. " Too Terre Haute Uxprobs : Clarvoy And your brothorgot on the force two week * after ho liindod , oh ? " ( lOoghogan Ho did that , but ho didn't liiHht long. Ho got too shmart and nrrohtod a uldorinan for selling whopsky after hourhho did. " Had I'tnitilodd , Epoch ; Aramlntu You put your nrm around my wuibt bo gracefully , Oeort'ti. George I have had lots of practice. I was a street caj- conductor live .years.