7
I' ' THE .OMASA' DAILY BEE : SUNDAY. JULY 8 , ISSS.-TWELTO PAGES.
Their , on
p. City Passenger and Ticket Agent ,
r Salt Lake , the Dead Sea of America , is reached
by the UNION PACIFIC direct.
The UNION PACIFIC was first called the Great Take the UNION PACIFIC for Garfield Beach
Overland Route. Soda Springs , Idaho , excelling all the Spas of the best Watering Place in the United States.
the world , can be reached only by the
'OUIOVd NOINH UNION PACIFIC. QUIOVd
I NOINR Aiuopeioi2aj |
0 } du } is adcung cq. SuioS jo The UNION PACIFIC is the only road running
through thefamous Alpine Tunnel , 11,600
feet above the sea level.
. &
OlJIOVd
NOIN n 9M1- A > poy
ui SUILJSJJ pirn qjadns
Popular excursions to San Francisco , Los Ange
les , and other points in California , are run
overthe UNION PACIFIC.
I1' < x v e2
COUNTRY CORRESPONDENCE ,
Latoat Nowa From All Parts of the
State.
PROVED UP ON HIS HOMESTEAD.
Double Courtships A I'nlr of Buns
K Astronomy A School
Xcnolicr'a Contract
July Fourth.
The week just closed 1ms , on account , of
general preparations for the observance and
the propoy celebration for the glorious
Fourth of July , beuu quiet , very quiet. Yet
there are several occurrences worthy of note.
Fo ? instance , from Armstrong , Neb. , comes
the following chunk of information :
A certain voter known hereabouts awn zealous
illsoljilu of lluiM-hus recently proved up on Ills
honiei'tfiid , neil having hocnred a loan on tlio
piuno coju'hi'Icil to vuluhratu tlio uvunt , which
lie cUil liy imrulmt-mg n kca of lioer mid
u fmv klndiTi ! HplrltH to help tiartiiku ; they
iloubtles * imrtnnk , for eitch claims ho kept per-
feottysoDor while the rent got bleepy drunk.
Adorn man "proves up" on a homestead
It is in order to celebrate , and the custom of
Inlying n ICK of boor and Inviting u few klu-
tlic'il.spii'itb Is not new by any means. Indeed ,
cci'tuin voters who arc not " /eatous disciples
of liacelius" have been guilty of the same
conduct with far Iffs provocation.
Another correspondent writes his country
paper this choice paragraph :
A friend Inform * us tlnit ho rerontlv observed
two young men nnil two yonuu itullCH. onutof
town , In n oniMiorsu Ijiiguy , dolliij n good lob of
comtlng while going nloui ; the public highway ,
Jt wns'ii Bight worth seeing.
It must have been. Ona good honlthy
young man , tuul .a pretty , vivacious , plump
young Ind.v out courting In a buggy , can fur
nish a vast fund of amusement for a spcuta-
lor , especially if tlio vehicle. Is constructed
on tlio narrow Kaugo principle , 'i'ho reader
who lins been so fortunate us to have soon
ono or nlol-6 hiuideniH of this kind , can im-
nglno what Jolly old sensations would creep
pvor him when , Instead of ono couple , two
exhibited Ihcinsnlvcs before his admiring
giua. And all four in a ono horse buggy ,
loo. The "friend'1 mentioned was playing in
great luck when s.vrotud behind a liunuli of
eoHonwoods by the roaiUido ho witnessed
this very iiitorciling cpUodo.
A one Imo paragraph In items from 121k
Creek rends us follows
ABA Will lluwli'y 1 ( iiu still studies n'trounmy ,
Tim quciitlun is hereby propounded. Do
you , William , still study astronomy I Or has
the giv.it llrmament studded with stars ,
planets uobuliu ; etc. , proven too much for
you ) Or have you decided to keep up your
liiveatigatlon of things celestial , and what is
iho condition of affairs on the iilnnet Mars
ns regards the recent nominations for the
presidency in this our glorious country us
glgmillcd. to you by the btrango people who
Inhabit the little pl.uiet said to 'resemble the
baU of mud on which wo
Tan you "mid the answer In the stars'1 mid
inform us of Iho prevailing opinion on J upitor
of thoclTfct the pnssngo of the Mills tariff
bill would Imvo upon the infant industries of
the luttii with belts around it to keep it from
tailing to pieces ! If you have not decided \
cease , and Imvo not as yet ceased your
uniblng tlio mysteries of spare you will con
ic u favor on all of us by sending in your
mnnusrilpt written on one side only , with
your nnmt nUucued. not of necessity for pub
lication , but us u guarantee of good faith.
1'Vom High Uldgo Is clipped Iho foilowingT
.Mr , Nclxoa llmlm : : ) lus a wall and \vluil
mill 'J Iiuvlnu will wiices quite uu imp.rjyj.
Bi"iit on tlia hoinfstia'l ,
A . .vlnmill Is n valuable Improvement on
n boniest sad ; Indeed , a good , tlrot-clus ? wind
mill , well oiled , U n grant institution. VTIie.n
not in use. . piu pliigvjler for the stock or a
bucketful for culinary puriwses , a wind mill
can be used as nn cniamont. It should b > )
IKiintcd whiUt with either red or blue tips in
orlcr tobo.ivfiirdod with morotUuu ordinary
interest.
From Logan It Is learned ttmt : .
In vldlinr ovir the oountrv wo find Jt very
Unnl U r.tl across Dry CV OK. h'uno ot the
liruliBi ; me completed at thU ilntu.
TLi is oJvl AltlicuBh JouKlc&s true Ije
the ] ) oradvcnturo of n iloubt. Hut it docs
seem just u little bit improbable that anyone ,
man or woman , greafco'r small , should have
nny trouble in fording a Dry ereolc.
From the Grabow district comes the in
formation that :
.1. 13. Hover closed his term of school in the
QiiibaxvilUtrlr-ton Krliluy. lie. has contracted
lot iich thoHcliool thucjintni ; jvarat 150 per
month.
Hover toolc the contract too cheaply. Fifty
pe.i month while seemingly a very liberal
Hillary , is not enough by any means. During
tlio fall season . ) . K. will walk homo each
night with a. different pupil , whoso fond
parents will insist upon his catechising the
youngster In their presence after
supper. Then when bedtime arrives
they will put him in the spare bedroom ,
which has not been opened for niivity days ,
and ho will disrobe and climb in between a
pair of cotton sheets which have not boon
aired Kinco January ! ! ( ) , and will lay there
mid shiver and wish ho was bank in York
state. Then in the morning ho will wako up
with a b.ul cold , and during the day will
"c.ill ttb the lirat glass id spcllig1 and snec/o
and Uorchoo for three weeks. Durinp hog
killing tinio lie will dine , sup and breakfast
upon tenderloins , spare-ribs ami BOUSO until
he arrives at n condition when ho will bo
ashamed to look a hog in the face. During
Iho winter season ho will bo compelled to
build his own llres in the morning two hours
before school opens , ami in blizzard time will
have to tie his pupils together witli a string
and lead them through the storm , for which
no subscription will bo started , because suuli
action will by that time bo chestnutty. No ,
Hover , $ r > 0 is not enough.
From Hooper It is learn that
I'lsh nvu reported us being qultoplpntlful In
tlio rlvor and thu lakes sincii the remitt rise In
tlu > river , mid our local sportsmen nvo having
considerable hport. .loo Caldwell captured a
cattish Friday that weighed onty-tnrH.o
pounds.
As this is the first ilsh story of the season ,
nothing will bo said.
Last woo ) ; this column contained several
birth announcements. They were nil singles ,
and there was a raft of 1em , metaphorically
speaking. Hut a now movement has bncn
inaugurated. They nro coming in pairs.
Listen to this from Srrlbnur.
The. homo of Mr. and Mrs , ( ins II , linns wits
iiiiulu lintipy Monda ) morning by the arrival ol
a I'n 11 pair of t'.vln.s. a boy mid a girl.
Tin-so may bo stylo.l Fresh Hun ? . Hlght
hero it may not bo out of order to slate that
In the future no new born infant will recuivo
nny notice in this column hereafter unless
ho or she is IKIT. twins. This single haiidod
work mutt bo stopped. C. M. J.
*
SING UJj.\ KIT IRS.
A mocking bird In Albany , Ga. , whistles
the Uoulnngor march.
A turtle has been found nt Knu Claire ,
Wis. , with the figures 1810 cut on its back.
A sand spout 300 feet lilgh and about llfty
feet In diameter was observed tiio other day
during a storm upon the coast near Colleton ,
3 , ( J.
Sylvanla , Oa. has a stock of corn ten feet
high , ami which contains seven well de
veloped shoots , six of which huvo put out
sihis.
An autopsy on the body of Kelson Lee ,
who was kil'ed ' in Charleston , W. Va. , a few
ilu.vs ago , showed that his heart was situated ,
on the right fe.de of bis brtiut. ;
T. II. Stewart , of Smyrna , Ga , , owns a
cat witlrthrce kittens. A young rabbit was
given her to eat recently , but instead , she
'adopted it and is rearing it as carefully as Ii
it had been ono of her Kittens ,
The other day thrco colored men at
Charleston , S. C. , captured u monster soft-
shall turtle which wuighed 30-5 pounds. Its
brad was several si/.cs larger than an ordi
nary man's , and its mouth was enormous.
A dry goods merchant In Nowville , Cum
berland county , Pennsylvania , dreamed one
night last week that ho was soiling and meas
uring olT great quantities of dress goods , and
f-o realistic was the dream that ho actualy
tqro the sheets of the bdtl Into pieces.
Muttliew . Soduiau , an eccentric old man
who died nt Terre Haute , Ind , , last week ,
was burled In a colUn which for twenty-live
years lie had kept In hU bed roopi. The
monument over his grave was erected ac
cording to bis orders fully thirty years ago ,
\V. J' . Heaves , a chicken fancier , ofVost -
ville , Coun. , has a 1'lymouth Hook hen that
has jutt laid r.n ccg measuring T3 < inches ono
. way and 1 > K tbo other. lusluo of it-was an.
other perfect e x , s" and.all , ana so far U
boats the season's record for ovarian mon
strosities.
There is u very remarkable npple tree in
nockingham county , South Carolina , it is
said , which has berne fruit for a number of
years , but has never been known to b'o.-
som. The fruit , while resembling an npp'e
in size and general appearance , tastes like u
pineapple.
Henry Gary , of Key West , Fin. , has a
novel shaped potatoo. Standing at a distance
of six or seven feet ono could not tell it
from a wild duck which hail been deprived
of its body feathers , and to make the de
lusion inoro perfect ho had inserted a few
tail feathers ,
A curious monstrosity of Vienna is a girl
who. though born February 15 , 1S71 , has
lived only in the cradle. She has a sound
constitution , but has never outgrown the
physical or mental stature of a suckling.
She utters only inarticulate sounds , has all
her teeth , but never masticates , often sleeps
two clays and nights at a time , and has never
risen.
Jim Hlovins , living near White Rock , Tox. ,
killed a very largo chicken sniiko a few days
ago , mill noticing the snake's body was un
usually largo mid ill-shaped , made an incision
nml found it to contain a largo cow horn ,
and In the horn a largo rat. It , is supposed
that the snake chased the r.it into the horn ,
and to secure the rat swallowed the horn.
From Birmingham , Ala , , , comes this cerio
tale of u snake. Otto Franks , eight years
old , In trying to pet a big rattlesnake , was
bitten below the knee , but by use of proper
remedies apparently cured of the bite. Soon ,
however , lie b 'gun to crawl and writhe in
the most snake-liko fashion , and -kept it up
witli short intervals of quiescence until ho
tiled.
tiled.Yet
Yet another "sea serpent" has been heard
from , this time from Alpena , Mich. , whcro it
is reported that people living along Thunder
Hay have been terrified by the appearance of
n monster snake. It was llrst discovered in
a potato Hold , at a little distance inland , but
afterwards , according to the story , was seen
to "go over the ground as lively ns a horse ,
and glide Into the hay. "
It is reported from Detroit that a hid
named Frank Ualloy , sixteen years old , has
Kuril a mania for thrusting pins ami needles
into the right sldo of his face and neck that
It has become necessary to Mind him to the
lunatic asylum. At the time of his departure
ho had from thirty to forty pins buried to
the head in his cheek , besides an unknown
number of needles that were out of sight ,
The Greensboro ( Oa. ) Sun says ; Mr , J.
II. H. Hrown , ono of the most prosperous
farmers of the Vcn/.o.v neighborhood , laid
upon our table a curiosity in the shape of an
egg. The egg was not unnaturally largo ,
but at the small end It was raised In tlio
shupo of u serpent. The reptile was per
fectly plain , seeming to lie called around It.
The head , oye.s , body and tall were all per
fectly formed. Wo have the shell in our of
fice , and doubting Thomasus may come in
and satis fy themselves.
If a Girl is Iturn
In January , she will bo n prudent
hou.sowifo , given to melancholy , but
good U'liiporcd.
If in February , u humane and iifToc-
tionuto wife and tender mother.
If in March , a frivolous chatterbox ,
somewhat given to quurroling.
If in April , inconstant , not very in
telligent , but likely to bo good-looking.
If in May , handt-omo , nminblo , and
likely to bo happy.
If in Juno , impetuous , will marry
early , and be frivolous.
If in July , passably handsome , but
with a sulky temper.
S If in August , amiable nn.d practical ,
and likely to marry rich. '
If in September , discreet , utlablc , and
much liked.
If in October , pretty nnd oquettiah ,
and likely to bo'unhappy.
If in November , fiber.il , kind of u
mild disposition. _ '
If in December , well-proportioned ,
fond of novelty , and extravagant.
> Ma-damn Gerster , m a letter to a Philadel
phia friend , cays that she does cot contem
plate returning to Auiwlea.
ODD CORNERS IN THE CAPITOL
The Variouu Nooks and Passages
Beneath thO'Domo. '
RAMBLES UNDER tHE ROTUNDA.
Tlio VcnlllntliiK Dciuirtinctit Tlie
Folding Kixmis Vault * null
Umlcriiroiiiul Duels Uiil're-
( liieiitct ! KOOIIIH.
Tlce. ]
The usual visitor at' the national capitol
is generally shown nbput the building by
frjcnds or by one of the numerous guides
who make their headiiual'ter.s In the rotunda.
The trip takes him through rooms and
passages which have been described over
and over again. Tlio newspaper-reading pub
lic is familiar with the ascent'of tlio dome ,
the halls of both houses of congress , the
marble room and lobbies.'Hut the vast dimen
sions of the building enable it to contain
many nooks ami corners which the ordinary
sight-seer has neither time nor opportunity
to explore.
From general appearances the capitol con
sists of two stories and u basement , but be
neath this is a sub-basement which extends
under the whole building. Immedi
ately under the dome in this
sub-basement ono can enter , by
a dark narrow p.issago , the place which U
termed the crypt. This is u large , unllghted
room of circular form in which at ono time it
was proposed to place the remains of Wash
ington. However , the plan could not bo car
ried out on account of tlio objections of some
of his relatives. At the pivsjnt time , the
only use made of this apartment Is to store
in it thn catafalque upon which have rested
the bodies of various statesmen who have
lain in state In the rotunda. This piece of
furniture , heavily draped in black , lends a
solemnity to the room wliMi was intended to
bo the burial place of the "father of his
couvtry. "
In , his same sub-basement , beneath each
wiiigtf tlio building , nro situated dinVrent
departments appertaining to each brunch
of congress. Kach house has its ventilating
department , its folding-room and its restau
rant. The hall of the house nnd also of the
senate , being situated in the center of their
respective wings of the building , have no
windows , and consequently obtain their sup
ply of Jrosh uir through ; ducts which cpen
under the hollow lloor. flikowisc the impure
air is drawn off by pipc.j lending from tlio
room above the hall.Tlio machinery by
which this is accomplished is stationed In u
largo room m the nub-basement. It consists
of engines , largo steam funs , etc. The air Is
drawn through an underground passage
leading under tlio walks ami vaults from a
small tower In the grounds. Hut there
nro other uir-ducts which open under
thu walks In different places around the
building. The air is , of course , heated before -
fore being sent Into the hull. For
tbis , the vaults beneath the walks surround
ing the capital are utilized to hold the boilurs
ami heating apparatus. Vl'liese vaults nro
very numerous and are u'fcd for various pur
poses. Homo contain coal , while others are
used by the carpenters , plumbers , electri
cians , or as store-rooms.
Not far from the ventilating fans is a
largo room used as ' a kitchen to supply the
restaurant immediately above it. This is
furnished with all the culinary nppliunces ,
but is conducted by private parties subject to
the rules laid down by congress. Next
to the kitchen are the folding-rooms.
The vast number of public documents sent
out each year by members of congress must
bo securely wrapped or enclosed in envel
opes. For this purpose a fcnmll armies of men
nro employed who make ttieir headquarters
in this part of the building. Their rooms are
packed with books , wapplug > paper and
benches.
Hut documents for the 1mmeniato use of
congressmen are stored in n. dhTcrcnt place.
The document room of the house Is a small
passage leading' from statuary hall , besides
the gallery of .the old house of rcprcscnta- .
lives. In the senate , tills department
is directly above the corridor leading to the ,
rotunda. Hchlnd this U .the seriate library
and by various pab agca uaK-tlllcd with old
papers , ono can iniiko his way to thu spuou
botwe.n the ceiling and the roof of the
supreme court room. This is the old portion
of the building which was partially burned
by the Hritish In ISM and ono can still see
traces of old wooden beams a ml laths peep
ing out through the broken plaster. The
dust of ages awaits the intrusion of some
curious Individual. The existence of the
place is not , generally known and consequently
quently it is seldom entered. V. 1C.
ItEljIOIOUS.
Dr. Joseph Barker has just completed
nineteen years of pastoral service in City
temple , London.
Mr. J. F. Mojottn. in his recent lecture on
"Judaism. " estimated the total number of
.Tews throiichout the world as between eight
and ten millions.
The number of Conp.-eritronal ; communi
cants in the state of New York has Increased
50 per cent since ISiu.
The Luthcru church is doing ( 'rand wont
nml achieving wonderful success in America.
In Is7l ) tlionumbjrof communicants in Unit
denomination in tills country was less than
IdO.DO'J. ' Now there nro over 1)3.OJ. ( ) ( ) ( )
A St. Louis minister says that the greatest
font of baptism in the history of the Haptist
church in modern times was that performed
in July , ISiS. by .T. C. dough , u missionary ,
who , with tlio assistance of llvti uiitivu
preachers , Immersed -,2'i'J , converted breth
ren within six hours.
There are thirty-four summer assemblies
modelled after the original ono at Cliuutuu-
qua , N. Y. , and its outline of work Is done in
each. Of these assemblies forty-ono nro
located in twenty-one different states and
territories of the United States , ono is in
Canada , and ono in ICnglnnd.
In the pulpit treatment of texts there is
such thing as homiletie vivisection , in which
the very life of the sucrcd words is killed out
by urtillclal plans and excessive divisions.
Wo so busy ourselves with the "skeleton" of
thesermon that thu soul of the text escapes
us , nii',1 it , too , becomes a skeleton In our
hands.
There is now In session In London an Inter
national missionary convention which is at
tended by delegates from nlmost.if not quite ,
every nation of the world , including many
converts from heathenism , lieports already
received indicate that great enthusiasm prevails -
vails and all the meetings are thronged.
Many men whoso names are household words
in religious circles have crossed oceans or
traversed continents to bo present. Ameri
can churches of all denominations are very
largely represented.
NOVIH/i'lUSi IX JltWKMtY.
Corsage pins In dull and Roman link pat
terns are popular.
A well executed grasshopper , In green and
brownish gold , In a novel brooch ,
A peculiar pattern In garter buckles repre
sents a circular corrugated plaque of oxi-
di/cd silver upon which rests u coiled ser
pent.
A heart of plain gold , paved with diamonds ,
entwined with another set witli sapphires ,
makes an attractive top design for u knifo-
edge bracelet.
A seasonable design for small silver
cases is a catcher in the act of stopping a
swiftly-coining bail. On court-plaster cases
it is especially appropriate.
The repousso head of a terrified horse ,
having u broken bridle dangling from the
mouth , is a design for cigar cases which will
not bo relished by nervous equestrians.
A costly brooch Is in the shape of a six-
pointed star , the rays set with emeralds ,
rubles and diamonds , In the centre Is a
largo brilliant surrounded by u circle of
smaller ones.
An attractive brooch has a center piece of
moonstone on which appears a sculptured
head. Surrounding it are sixteen diamonds
and ( > carls set alternately , the latter var Ing
from a pure white to an almost black color.
Watch cases In oxidized silver nro now seen
in' many designs. A spider snug within Ms
web , a scene from the familiar willow pat
tern on china , flowers , leaves , rocks and
landscapes , ' all etched , are among those most
in favor. ' . '
A'handsome cigarette case is of oxidized
silver , having on its -cover a. female figure in
repousso surrounded , by a sunburst. The'
case , is slightly curved la order to tit snugly ,
against the body when carried in an ui > pcr'
vest pocket.
I THE FUNNY SIDE OF THINGS ,
A Column of Humor and Comicali
ties.
AN EPOCH IN A GIRL'S LIFE.
No Wonder the Hoys IJOVM Her Ills
Patent Kaok-t lliul Uecn Worked
Tlio Usual Happenings
in Sniltlivllle.
NoVnnilcr tlin Hoys hove Hor.
Mitis Auiiio MeCormielv , ono of Ilnw-
kinsvillc's most charming young Indies ,
was in town recently , says tlio Dodge
county ( On. ) iToiirniil , iiutl made u. num
ber of friends uiul nwny mushes among
our gay and festive youths. I cannot
blame iho boys for falling' in love with
her , however , for any young lady who
can jlay ) two pieces on u piano and King
a third at the sumo time , is competent
to captivate tlio most fastidious of us. I
liuvo often heard of line performers on
the piano , but haves ncvor f-cen or hoard
any ono who could compute with her.
She can sit with her hack to the in-
filriimont and play most beautifully. It
is said'that .she can piny tliroo different
inhtrumoiits at once , and I don't doubt
it , for she offered to do so here if
furnished the proper instrument * * .
An Kpocli In a Cirl'H lt\ro. \
Is wlion she has her cars pierced for
tlio lir.st pair of earrings , " remarked : i
jeweler with n family. "I'm the father
of t1 family myself and I know. The
lirst question always is how to got the
holes punched.
' 'i'ho elder sinter volunteers to under
take it , and the entire family gather to
witness tlio operation. Tlio mother
holds the trembling hands of the will
ing victim. Ono of the boys gets an
auger and is driven from the room with
reproofs The sister comes with the
needle. She is shaking from head to
foot. She sots Iho pcint of the little in
strument in the velvet llesh , lots out n
little spurt of blood and quietly faints.
It is evident that the operation will
have to ) ) o conducted by eomo one of
less tender sensibilities ,
"At last u happy thought strikes the
father and ho calls Upon a jeweler with
liis daughter.
" 'I would like to
got my daughter a
pair of solitaires , ' ho Bays to the clerk ,
but unfortunately her .ears are not
piorced.1
The clerk sinllcH , stands behind her ,
and pinches each little oar till it i *
white. Then ho runsa sharp stool needle
through both lobes and wipes oil' the
half.drop of blood with a. piece of mus
lin.
" 'Do up your oars for a week when
you go out'he says in n business-like
way , and then : 'Now. sir , what sized
solitaires would you like to look at ? " '
Ho Would Not Work.
Detroit l-Yco Press : A citizen yes
terday stood on the stops of u Oriswold
street bank , gazing at something across
the street. While thus occupied a
pedestrian halted , ascended a stop or
two , mid after taking off hie hut. said :
"Hoing , you knojv , as I haven't had
anything to to oat for two days , I didn't
know but what you could ' spare mo u
dime. " '
The citizen did not lower his eyes by
au inch.
"Presume the cashier gave you all
bills , you know"continued the man-
' 'but if ; you'll bo pleased to hunt around
in your nockqlaTvo ' no doubt you'd find
n , dime. " ' . . ; '
Not ji sign that ho was heard or seen ,
"I would take it as a great Invor , I
assure you. Purty tough , you know , to
tackle a job on an empty stomach. IVo
got .Ml ) worth of work waiting for mo at
soon as I can got n meal. "
And yet no sign.
"It's only a loan , you know. A loan
to be returned to-morrow. I hate to
ask it , colonel , but there's no other way
forme. If you should happen to have
a quarter it would be till the same a
loan. "
The colonel scorned hewn out of mar
ble. '
"Hope you'll excuse me. " continued
the man , "but I happened to see you as
"
I passed. There's no particular "hurry ,
you know , but the sooner I got the
money the sooner 1 can 1111 up and go to
woi-- ! . "
woiT. . e colonel now made n move to raise
his imbrelln.
"Tlio cashier would doubtless change
ii bill for you if you are broke for silver.
This is a line rain , colonel. Things
must bo looking nice in the country.
Make it a half , colonel , and I'll bo
around Saturday. "
The colonel decondod the stops us
rigid as n poker.
"I'll take your address , "said the man ,
as ho followed behind , "because I'm
very partinular about repaying borrowbtl
money. I might telegraph to my
brother in Buffalo , but ho might not ba
at homo , you know. Now , colonel , if
you would bo so kind as to hand mo
out "
The colonel joined the procession and
disappeared , and after looking up and
down the street a minute the tramp
said :
"I might .as well quit right hero.
Some ono has worked tills town before
on my patent racket , and ho didn'teveii
leave a good name behind. "
Down In Sniltlivllle.
Smithvillo ( Ga. ) News : Dolweou men-
hies , mumps and melons , we're having a
lively time down this way.
The world owes every man n living ,
and is never black in paying it to u good
collector.
If the people want us to "blow" the
town , they must help us raise the wind.
Wo return thanks to Tom Burton for
the gift of u new linen duster. Hut un
less we can get a railroad ticket it won't
bo of much Ube to UH. .
The editor will leave to-morrow for
parts ( heretofore ) unknown , JIo is ffiw
ing to church , and hopes to return with
grace enough to keep him till grist
comes in.
A Georgia poet writes : "I go to strike
the lyre , " If the llsh season is on ho
needn't go far ; for the liar will come ttf
him.
him.A
A Texas pony , n quart of whisky and"
something that looked like a man
passed through Sinlthvillo yesterday.
This was the llrst cyclone that' has vis
ited us thin year ,
Wo were not in last Monday when
Colonel .tonkins , of the Forks , culled to
settle his bill. It is Htrango that he al
ways calls when wo are out , and louvoa'
nothing for us but his "regards. "
"Fellow citizens ! "
oxeluimedu Smith-
villd orator , "when the war-cry rung
over this broad land " . ' ' , Vpu , was in
the barn loft , under six foot o' fodderl" , .
shouted a man in the crowd who know
him. ' (
A certain young man , who Js n flrt't-
class grocery clerk , asked us yesterday
how long it would take him to learn to *
bo nn editor , It's -according to what' ,
kind of n constitution ho has , mid just
how much malaria ho eau.stand. beforo-
lie weakens. .
In the. latter stage of consumption , the
tilllic.tod will find relief and comfort in
Dr. J. .If. McLeair's Tar 'Wi'no Lung.
Halm , Us soothing clTcctH on the
is remarkable : , ii5 cents a. bottlr