Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, July 08, 1888, Page 4, Image 4
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUKDAY , JULY 8 ; 188a-TWELVE PAGES ; ' DAILY BEE , PUlUilSHEI ) I3VKIIV MOHNIXO. TF.IWS OF SUHScillPTlON. C llr rttoinlnn IHlllttm ) Intludlng Sunday L HER , one Y < tvr . 110 CO For Six Months . GO ) J'or Three Mont In . . . . . "w The Oranlm Puiidny 1U.K , mulled to nny ad- - clre-ii. One Year . " w OMAHA Ornct. . NoMilUNDninrAitNAMSTnr.KT. Kf.w VOIIK OrncK. HOOM ? 14 AMI 15 TIIIHUNK lirii.wso. WASHINGTON OiriCK , No 613 I'OimtLt Mil BTHIiEt. .Allcommunlrfttloin relntliiR to ncwinmledl- lorinl mutter should bo addressed totlio Lmxou All lU lnei > s letter * nnd remittances sliouM bo nfldrrsscdto TIIK IIKK PUIIMMIINO COMPANY , OMAHA. Drafts , chocks nnd poitonico orders to lie made payable to the order ot the company. Tlio BCD PulMinifcipy , Proprietors K. KOSEWATKIl. Editor. THE DAIIiY KKB. Bworn Sfatcinent of Circulation. Btflte of Nebraska. ! . Tzocliuck , 'necrctary of Tlio nee Pub- llchlrc company , rtocij solemnly ; swear that the RctnafclrcuUtion or the Dally Ilca for the weak endlna July 7.1888. was as to Hows- Saturday , Juno-TO ' ' " . . , ? , Btlllday , JlllV I in'n-A Monday , July 2 1W | OMeoday. . . . . . . . July . 3. . . 1JW.J , fHrii. % yny ] , Thursday. July G XTlday , July 0 . . . Fvrorn to before me and Mibscrlhod In iny prescuco tills 7th day of July , A. D. . 18S8. N. P. FK1U Notary 1'ubllc. Btato of Nebraska , i . H County ot Douglas , I Bl " UUOIKO II. Tzn'huck. being first duly worn. dppoxpH ntul fays tlmt he la secretary or Tlio lloo 1'ulillriiliiff company , that the actual iiverazo ilnlly circulation of the Dally IKio for the month of July , ion" , was UWJ ) conies ; for August , li-SI , H.1B1 conies ; for September , Wt 14.ii9 : copies : for October , fST , llVncoi : > lei ; for November , IfsS" , 18.2M copies ; for December , Jtfc ; . IA.U4I copies ; for January. IbSS. 1W > W cop- leu ; for February , 1WV , IWsB copies ; forJlnrclr , letf , li'.tw ' copies ; for April , 18-ss , 18,7(1 cc-pli ) * . for May , 1SW , 18,181 copies ; tor June , 1888. H''JU ' coplts' ' oi5o. II. TZSCHUCK. Bworn to before mo and subscribed In tuy presence this 30th day of June , A. D. lasti. N. 1' . FKIIj Notary Public. IT will bo tv cold day when the Ne braska Clmutnuqua again iuvitca Do Witt Tnlmugo to address that as sembly. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Tine news from General Sheridan is reassuring. The gallant little lighter is growing stronger every day. The sun air agrees with him. Ti S.vctudcniosthnt lie and Jay Gould arc out. That muy bo. But a few months ago Russell Sngo was out mid Jay Gould was so much the more in. AMIMUCAN humor has been rec ognized by Yale college us one of the K' ' fine arts. The degree of master of P. arts was conferred on Samuel L. Clemens nt the recent commencement , andJioreaftor "Murk Twain , " M. A. , irlll appear in bold relief on the title page of his books. NUXT your France will celebrate the centennial of the fall of the bastilo. But the monarchies of Europe ono and all are going to boycott the ulTair. The fall of the bastilo was the fall of despotism in Franco. It would cer tainly rub against the grain for Hussin to make a show of enthusiasm over that ovont. ( f Tun work of the conventions of the two great parties may now be said to bo over. Yesterday the notification eom- luilteo of the republican party called on ij. Levi P. Morton at his homo in Rhine- | beck and olllcially informed him of bis | Bcleution as the vice presidential Horn s' ' ' inco of the Chicago convention. "WlCS'l'miN cattlemen may learn with surprise that cattle have been imported into the United States from Mexico in upito of an import duty of 20 per cent. Afa much as 1,000 head per week have boon sent over the border into Cali fornia , and oven as far east as Kansas 'City. This fact would" certainly indi cate that the c.ttle ; business of Ihc west was not overdone , and that the profits in the American industry must bo considerable whan [ Mexican shippers can pay this duty and the increased railroad freight and still realize a gain from the transaction. ( Mexican cattle are not superior to Texas beef and not equal to the stock shipped from Colorado or Montana. As the im portation of Mexican beef is likely to continue , the facts would indicate that the demand for beef at homo and abroad is not equal to the supply. rnorBssoii Linvis , principal of the Omaha high school , has , wo are in formed , been engaged by a Boston Uuily to write a series of articles on the taritY Qurlng vacation. This is complimentary to Mr. Lewis. When Boston comes to Omaha for an expounder of the great economic issue , it is very much as if Now York were to send to Omaha for an art critic. Which bide of the tail IT Mr. Lewis will chumplon is problematic , lie has shown himself ru be a master of political econo mics since the school ma'ams have boon given the privilege of electing our school boards , His usefulness as a poi - | i lltical manager 1ms received prompt , < recognition at the hands of the board , which has raised his salary within loss limn three years from $100 to $2,000 a year. This affords a striking example of political economy as put into practice under our system. WrnilN a few years Lake Manawa will bucomo a popular and lashionablo Cummer resort. It has line natural at tractions for boating and bathing which need only the investment of capital and onturpriso to develop. The people of Council lilulTa have made the start in Improving the lake and itb surround ings , but there is much yet to bo done. A cheap and rapid transit between Omaha and the lake must of all things l > o inaugurated. This would insure the attcndunco of thousands of our people. Tlio banks of the lake should be planted \vi'h groves of shade trees in korder to make the grounds pleasant and attractive. A lleet of bafo little steam ers to ply about the lake should bo put pn , and the hotels and rcbtauranU Should bo conducted in first-class style fit popular prices. With availing con certs and an occasional display of iiro- vorlcs and other attractions' there Is no reason why this delightful spot , so near to Omaha and Council Hlults , should not Cain a patronage equal to Spirit Lake the more uistu'ut summer resorts. The Now School Mnnnnoincnt. The now board'of education will ns- sumo the supervision of our public schools to-morrow. While a majority of this board will bo composed of mem bers of the old board , it is to bo hoped , in the interest of our educational sys tem and the taxpayers of this city , that some of the methods that have prevailed v.'itliln the past twelve months in school government will be radically reformed. First and foremost , nepotism and favoritism in the employment of teach ers and janitors should bo discounten anced and discarded. Competency and merit nlono should bo the passport to appointment and promotion. With a reckless disregard of the plain letter of the law , which re quires the board to elect its teachers , the old board has by a resolution di rected the secretary to cast the ballot of all members for the entire list of teach ers on this year's pay roll. It is the manifest duty of the now board to revise this hasty action by an election , in ac cordance with law , of the teachers and employes. Incompetents should bo weeded out , and the most meritorious should be promoted to the positions re quiring experience uud executive abil- ity.Tlio Tlio new board will also bo expected to inaugurate greater economy and ofllcioncy in the erection of school buildings and purchase of school furniture and supplies , Enormous sums have been squandered within the past few years in the purchase of ex pensive sites and oxporlmonts in school house architecture. There has boon al together too much real estate specula tion connected with our school board for its own reputation. There has been notorious collusion between architects and members , to the detriment of the taxpayers. These flagrant abuses arc not likely to bo checked within thirty days , but unless a very marked effort is made by the new board to purge itself of the well-grounded discredit which attaches to the outgoing board they cannot hope to enjoy the public con fidence. niut American Manner1 ; . Americans who have had their priuo hurt and their tempers rullled by the rejections of English writers on their manners , will find some relief in tin ar ticle with the above title by Mr. T. W. Iliggitibon , in the July .Forum. The author has hud all the experience of travel and association necessary to ena ble him to make a comparison of the manners of the English people with those of his own countrymen , his quali fications for such a task are unquestion able , and ho is a writer whose goncriil fairness all will admit who know any thing of him. Mr. Higginson's experiences have been such as to warrant him in giving Americans the palm of superi ority in the matter of manners , lie cites a number of instances of personal association with English noblemen , enjoying prominence in lit erature and politics , whose manners wore boorish and offensive , and indeed this was the rule with the whole upper cla- of English society with which Mr. Iligginson has come in contact. "No doubt there are noblemen in England , " says Mr. Iligginson , " whose manners a critical American would call high bred , but it is cerlain one may travel a good deal in Ah at country , and even go through a considerable course of Lon don dinner parties , without having the good luck to encounter a specimen. " The common impression regarding this class ib that it is overbearing , but Mr. Higginson says this is not habitually the case. The men of this class are rather inconsiderate , brusque , and lack ing in that fine courtesy which at least to the American notion is a necessary part of good manners and one of the best ev idences of hitrh breeding. Nor are the faults in this matter of manners con- lined to the nobility. They arc quite as common among the untitled aristo cracy , and the women have almost as many defects as the men. Otl'ensivc- ness of language is a fault from which the highest and most gifted are not free , and both men and women use sueli language at times and under circum stances that would appal a well-bred American. No Amurican lady , for example would t-ilk of ' ' ' ample , frankly 'tubbing'1 and of "cleaning herself , " yet these ex pressions are common with otherwise well-bred English ladles. A good deal of the dilTeronco between the two countries in respect to manners , ob serves Mr. Higginson , lies , no doubt , in the greater or loss degree of sensitive ness in the national temperament. But Mr. Uiggiiibon points out certain especial inlluenccs under which the average man or woman in America is learning those elementary rules of man ners which furnish the foundation for oven conventional good breeding. The public school is ono of these , "where , from every pupil are exacted , forlivo or six hours a day , the minor habits of out ward propriety , such as cleanliness , self- control , order , reticence , mutual cour tesy. Those things arc taught to u far greater extent hero than in the English schools , "whoro the old rough-and-tumble muthoa still prevails. " Another of those influ ences in the lodge room in its various forms , where men acquire habits of po- litoncss , courtesy and mutual consid eration , Without denying to Englishmen cer tain positive merits , as manliness , a ready solf-sacrillco and a sense of jus tice , Mr. lliggiiitfon clearly ehows that us to manners they are very greatly in ferior to woll-brod Americans. Tin ! | in migration Dugy. Ono feature of the Gettysburg oration of Mr. George William Curtis has re ceived mo'-e comment than all the rest. This is the portion relating to immigra tion , and whii-h contained the warning to beware how wo "recklessly water our life blood. " Mr. Curtis was/solemnly gloomy in considering this matter of immigration. "Our population , " ho said , "is already more heterogeneous than that .of any other country. Pa triotism feeds upon local traditions , historic events and the memories of famous men. But a miscellaneous mul titude , sprung of many nations , without a common heart to vibrato instinctively to common memories and associa tions , would lack that supreme patriotism which is the moral dcfonso of u nation. " Mr. Curtis was particu larly impressed with the fact that litvlf Hit ) population of the greatest city in the country would have no knowledge of the sublime significance of the national fes tival commemorative of iho declaration of independence , and regarded it as something f6r profound concern. And EO indeed it is , although the great ma jority of those very people will cast their vole in the sarao way that Mr. Curtis will next November. If , as Mr. Curtis assorted , wo nro not now , ns formerly , getting the sifted grain of European immigration to tnis continent , but grain mixed with noxious weeds and brambles , the fault is with those who lira charged with executing the laws. There lias been ample protection provided against the "noxious weeds and brambles , " nml there is no excuse for allowing them to get in. The laws nro sufficient , if prop erly executed , to keep out paupers , criminals , the insane , and those coming hero under contracts to labor. If nny of those classes secure a landincr on our shores and nro allowed to remain hero , the fault is with the national authori ties. In excluding the classes noted the law t'ocs as far as there is reason or necessity for dealing with immigration. There is no danger that wo shall dan gerously "water our lifo blood" by al lowing honest , industrious and law- respecting people to come among us with the intention of making homos hero and conforming to all the conditions of citizenship. Wo may not bo able to at once fill thorn with American patriotism. It may tuko borne ycarj before they cail enthuse with us in commemorating the grout events of our history. But there is bomothlng else to bo done besides teach ing patriotism , and in this these honest and indubtrious foreigners can be of great assistance to us , as they have been in the past. They can help us in our material progress , they can add to our wealth as a nation , and as they go on doing this , themselves prospering with the general prosperity , they will not fail to absorb suflicient of our patriot ism to make them in time safe and excellent American citi zens. Meantime their children will go to the public schools and there imbibe American principles and a love for American institutions , so that the progeny ot these foreigners will reach manhood and womanhood as thoroughly Americanized as those who can trace their ancestry to the Pilgrim fathers. There may bo some excuse for men with the environment of Mr. Curtis becoming apprehensive that wo shall "recklessly water our life blood" and weaken the spirit of patriotism by not erecting a barrier against all immigra tion , but the great majority of the people ple are not experiencing any such fear. They do not bco any dan ger from the annual inllow of half a million worthy people * from other lands , but , on the contrary , a val uable addition to the working force and the wealth-making power of the nation. There is room enough for all such , and will oo for many years to come , while as to patriotism it is in greater danger from the apathy of native Americans than from the ignorance of foreign ele ments , unless it should happen that these generally bin-rendered themselves as completely as most of them have done in New i'ork , to the control of one political party. VOICI3 OK TIIK STATE PKISSS. Of the legislative traitors to Van "U'jvlc the fJr.ind Island rndopcmlonts.iy.s . : "If Messrs. Ur.me , Uobbins and Uusboll seek vindication let them undertake to bo ro-elccted this full. " The Stuiirt Ledger warns its readers that "in the excitement incidunt to other issues which will be before the voters of Holt county at the coming election wo must not forget tlmt wo want to scud good , competent men to the legislature. A senator must bo chosen at the next session of the assembly. " The Hartlncton Nonpareil is booming Dr. G. I'1. Ivoiper , of Pierce , for the democrat w nomination for congress in opposition to lion. G. W. 13. Dorsoy. Kelper was a mem ber of the last legislature , and made a coed record , on the strength of which , the Non pareil declares , ho "would bo clci'tcd our next congressman cs sure as the sun rise- > and bets. " CoinincntliiK on the fni't that John M. Thurston luii bi'on referred to us "people's Illustrious statesman"the Muilison Hoportcr woinU'rs when ho "became such , -"llo never served thn people in any capacity , except to attend the lute Chicago convention mid make n speech that sounded aiiTcrcnt from his actions of late years while at Lincoln engin eering legislation against the people. John has ono speech ho makes when opportunity offers. " The blind observer of the Sehnyler Sun has Imd his long-distance telescope out sweeping the state and lias discovered tlmt the "majority of republicans are decidedly In favor of returning Senator Mandeison to the United States senate. If diligence nnd un tiring devotion to the cause of his constitu ency deserves recognition then Senator Man- dnr.soii desorvcs that recognition. Ho is thought b.v miny to bo the brainiest man over heut to the semite fiom this state. " Speaking of the reported move to postpone tno legislative ami county nominations until about the llr.st of October , tno Wymoro Union declares Unit "tho Ion ; ; campaign Is the thlnu for the republican party , Tlio party has : i record that can stund the brunt of a long light with prollt. A long campaign gives these who are inclined to bo u little born after a nominating convention on oppor tunity to get over It and to work party en thusiasm up. Let us nominate thti candidate nt the August convention. " The Fremont Heraldalthough democratic , evidently believes In the protection of homo Industries , for it exclaims s "HoforotUo river nnd harbor bill is finally closed up , our con gressman. Dorsoy , ought to got in a clause foriJO.OuiJorfciO.OJJ for the improvement of navigation of the Uawhido. Knmiout is en titled to n little 'protection1 ' nnd bounty us well as the rest of them I The money Is uc- cumulated there to bo stolen , nml wo might us wnll gel batik us much of the amount that has been bto'.en from us as we can I" Tlio Lincoln Dally Call makes Its first howl In a very Htrnng nnd nunly voice against a particular instance of uorpuivto grcod us follows : "Tho telephone monopoly , with headquarters nt Omaha , U gra.luully encroaching upon the people. Like other exclusive and necessary monopolies It is without cousul'nco unU knows nothiug but grod. It proposal now to inorcuso rentals to f i per month for each Instrument. Against this imposition the people of Lincoln outer u vigorous , just protest. There U no basis of calculation that will Justify stu-h a ciiaryo Telephone * uro almost u u.egjisity iu tbust ) times , but they are not , of so much import ance that men who use them will submit to this proposed dnylfght robbery. Manager Drake , who passed thi whole winter in Lin coln lobbying againsCViftson's bill In the legislature providing for a reasonable re duction iu rentals and .the establishing ot uniform rates , has .done an unwlso thing. Where it Is possible every house in the city should order the telephone taken out. Independent capital ran maintain a system and bo Just Iu its chaises ! " The Valentino Rcpliblrean prints the fol lowing prophetic acrostic of the verdict of twenty states 233 votcsj < No W York , Minn K sola , Now H nmpshlre , K A lisas , No V nda , Rhod i : Island , I N dlana , O hio , Mossnch U sotls , "vVi Ki'ousln , Main E Call V ornia , I O wn , Yo U inont , Mlc-ht O an , Neb U nska , llllu O Is , rcnnsyl Y anla , Or 12 gen , Cole U ado. ThoGr.ind fslrrnd Independent comments nt length upon the resistance which the Ne- brnka railroads offer to n reduction of rates by the bonrJ of transportation , and accuses several boards of trade of making them selves subservient to the corporations. "Prominent among them , " says the Inde pendent , "are the Omaha and the Histlngs boards of trade. The Omaha nud the east ern Nebraska people generally , in their egotistical view of the case , don't care how high the railroad charges for goods imported to or exported from the central and western portions ot Nebraska are , because they nro not suffering from those extortionate charges. The people of theiuoro western portions ot Nebraska have to pay for the railroad rob bery. The testimony produced by the rail road companies against the reduction of the rates rests on swindle and partiality , nud ought not to bo considered ns of any impor tance by the board of transportation. Llut will the majority of the board have the cour age to decide against the will of the railroad magnates i Wo shall see. But whatever they may do , the people ought to elect such state ofih'crs as are willing nnd courageous enough to resist all railroad temptations. If the people want to be protected , they must protect themselves. And the time of the elections Is the time to do it. " t What New York AVIII Do. Itufful't Kzia-ei' . New York will settle n good many little things this fall , including Grover Cleveland. Thumbs Gone. Ctitcagti Herald. How ninny young fourth of July patriots are there In the country who can uo longer play "Simon says thumbs up ! " Where JicM Jrnw the Line. Denver ttcpulMcan. Mr. Cleveland bout a substitute to the war , but ho docs not seem at all anxious lo have somebody else fill his position in the white house. In Prison anil Out of Luck. 1'corta Tranterliit. It is a little unfortunate" for the democrats of Indiana uud Illinois thut two of their ablest politicians arc serving torins iu Ihe penitentiary for tallybucctforgery. . Democratic Economy. A democratic administration spending ap propriation bills drawn by a democratic house disbursed 114,000,000 , last year Iho largcbt federal expenditure since ISO'J. The Haih'oiul Octopus. Even the senate of the United States ap pears to bo powerless to prevent two railroad companies from permanently disfiguring the capital city. There is altogether to much railroad lobby in the national legislature , a Chtcouo Time * . It Is pleasing to learn that the Chicago police - lice have not forgottcd that Mr. A. J. Sncll was murdered In this eity some months ago , nnd that the name of the murderer would bo recogui/.ed by them If they should happen to hear it. A Counterfeit NoMe lloninn. Mr. Thurman is an "Old Uoman" ono of the modem kind , with principles flexible and accommodating. The original "Old Komun" was made of sterner stuff , but ho no longer lives to protect the trade mark against coun- turfeiK-ra. _ Unlbrtuiinto Nomination. irnchfMtffoii Critic. First Worklngman And who's Thurman ? Second ditto , proudly He's the "old Komun , " that's who ho Is. Kiist ditto Is ho now ? Well , we don't want no durn Uyetaliaub iu this country , and I'm ng'iu him , Disappointment. Chicago Ktitf. "We'll call him Hcnjumin Harrison , " suld the proud Indiana father when the nurse showed him the chubby infant which was Just one hour old. Uut the nurse Inugned nnd whispered in his car. "Well , then , " he "her mother call her growled , can some thing else if who wants to. I'm not so blamed particular about names , iinyway. " "Tlio Honest Old Itoimui. " llwdcUc. M.V boy , don't vote for a man simply because - cause ho is set down in the midulo line of the posters ns "Honest Old" somebody. If ho is really and truly honest , bo won't have to pay n bill poster to make it known. Kemcmber what happened to "Honest Old Dick Tutu , " the state treasurer , whoso only campaign thunder was his title. It is > well enough to make u candidate stand on the scales now and then and get himself weighed. How It Afl'ucleil n Mule , fAtwiln Call. Lawyer Mungcr tells u good story , of which he Is the hero , At Fremont , where the court house burned some six months ago , a temporary court roon ( was obtained by renting u rather respectable hull , under part of which was a blacksmith shop conducted by the owner of the building. Knowing that the ring of the anvil and other disturbances properly happening in u blacksmith shop might annoy the court , it was wisely stipu lated In the lease , to which Muugor was u paity , that if any noise interfered the lease would oo null and void , and accordingly ovcnta passed along in their usual monotonous style with no unusual outbursts from below , nnd the court enjoyed the usual ijuiot and solemnity. Mungcr was pleading u i'a o , however , Quito recently. Hu was wax. Ing eloquent before Judge Post and the Jury. Ho was quoting law and making a telling bpeech. The bailiff suddenly appeared , hand- Jug n note to the Judge. The Judge road while u broad smile crept from ear to cur. Munger grow louder' and the Judge 'called tiiuo nnd read the following note : "Tlio terms of our lease is that if any uu- seemmgly noi o is made , btich as to disturb the peace- end quiet , then the least ? of this buudius as u court room is void , Muiiyer Is making so much nolso that I can't shoo a d d onery mule down hero. I'll Yoto For Mttlo Hen. DT A SOI.DIKU. I'm n democratic soldier , and in eighteen sixty-two I shonUlQrcJ up a musket nnd put on a suit ot blue , And went to meet the crazy men , who thought the rebel rag A better emblem for our laud than our be loved ling. I never will forget the man who led us to the fray , And by his bravery nnd brains saved many n bloody day I seem to hear the music of his bugle call again , The liero of the Hcsncn , the gallant Llttlo Ucn. Away above nil politics I love my country's cnuso , That man 's nn enemy of mine who tramples on Hi laws , I know my country 's snfcst in the hnnds of loyal men , So , though I nm a democrat , I'll vote for Llt tlo Ucn. Wo captured every rebel rag that floated in the breeze , ' And flung thn starry banner out between the might ) ' sens , And we propose that flag shall float to all eternity Above a land where , freedom lives the em blem of the free. Then blow the bugle call again and let the music ring , Down with nil politics to-day , America I'll slug , The flag is safest in the hands of tried am ) trusted men , The democratic soldier will vote tor Little Hen. DENOUXCKI ) . Students of Prof. Jjolsette Call Him ( i Humbug. Lnst Friday's Now York World , devoted two columns of valuable * space to the record of a person known us "Prof. Lolsotte , " who has figured extensively ns the originator and teacher of n patent system for strengthening the memory. Loisottc , who seems to bo nn ndroit follow nnd a shrewd money inukor , has taught his system up and down through the country , both orally and by correspond ence , but always under pledge of secrecy se cured by bond. The extent of his operations may be estimated b.v the fact that 1'JOO of his former pupils held n 11100111111 iu Washington on Thursday night to denounce him as n humbug and a swin dler. 'Iho i-lilof instigator of this action seems to bo Prof. Fellows , of the Washing ton high school , who affirms that Loisette has availed himself of the protection of the copyright law when no c-opyright had been Issued to him. and ho says that Loisotto's system , whiittnero is of it , is nt least us old ns the work of Aristotle , wherein much of it appears. It is further stated on what seems to bo peed authority , that Loisetto's real name is Marcus D. Lnrrowe , formerly of Co- horton , Steubon county , Now York , who Graduated from Yale college iu 1331 , and later from the Yule law school. IMPIETIES. It isn't impossible for a real estate agent to bo a Christian ; but there is n popular im pression that ho can't bo n Christian nil the week and still succeed in business. When the contribution box comes around the stingy man takes mighty good care that his inquisitive neighbor's left eye shall not see what his own right hand doeth. A colored preacher in Alabama put his foot on nllpged bribery at elections and crushed it. "Dis ting , " ho said , "ob getting ? 100 for a vote is nil wrong ; -10 is us much as it's worf. " Tlio old gentleman was trying to find a northwest passage from the loir to the see , oud Joint of the duck , ami was muttering under lils breath. "Ma , " whispered Hobby , "ih pa haying grace ? " "I'm glad salvation's froel" shouted n mm , us he Jumped up in the congregation. "You may well be , brother , " observed un old deacon who knew the man , "because you'd never give your consent to nay for it. " It Is stated that the cost of making con verts to Christianity in Chicago averages jni'J.5 : ! per convert. In addition to tins there is the expense for constant nnd neces sary repairs. So when you come in contact with a Chicago Christian you want to handle him ns you would a poachblow vase. Ono of the brightest and most earnest of the students of the Haptist theological semi nary in Louisville wns formerly what is known as n "street fakir. " He finds that the experience in lauding the virtues of patent medicine' * before street crowds has born of great help in developing his oratorical powers for the pulpit. The Hov. Whangdoodle Baxter ( endeavor ing to comfort the sick woman ) Hub pa tience , Aunt Sukey , nnd eberytiiig will Joss como around nil ncrht. Aunt Snlcoy You has nasy tnlkln" " . What I wants ter know Is , what I lias done to hub all din sufferin' put on me. Some ob tin niPiinoHt folks dies ns easy as n chile , but it mos' kills me tor die. Tlio two small kids were saying their prayers. It wns Christinas time coming and ono of them began praying the Lord to send him n wooly horse nnd n gun and everything ho could jKissibly think of. The otlicr ono began to cry : " 1'lt'ase , mammastop Jolinnv. He's praying for overyihing for himself and ho won't leave anything for God to send me. " The small son of n Baptist clergyman re cently had his first pair of boots. 1'lioy were somewhat hard to get on , nnd ho tugged nnd stan.pcd and twisted for HOIIIO time before they were where they should be. "My good ness , mnmmu ! Didn't they go on hard f" ho said. "I came near sajing'dovil,1 but then 1 roir.cmbon'd papa has fold us wo must not take the name of the Lord our CJod In vain. " The UnUIOHiinlco'H Bite. The "Washington Star says : Tlio statement that : IOI)0 ) or 10.00U reptiles are kept in ono room at the Smitli o- nian bonds chills down the bucks of nor- noiiH people. So many biiakes , li/.ards and toads let loose on the MnooUi lawn of the park would cause homo excite ment. However , only five of all thuno reptiles have any life in them. ThcbO live are live rattlers , who are kept in a deep box witli a wire top and a vigor ous poking and punching with a htick btarts the music in tlioir tails. When the five are boundiiin tlioir rattles together they fill the box with nerve hhocking bounds. The other ! Wio ) ! ) , or 40,01)0 ) minus live ( as the exact number may bo ) , are securely corked in glass jnivi'in alcohol and arranged on bhelvos like cans cf preserves. The curator of reptiles , who is experiment- infj in Boaivh of an antidote for the poi- bon of a roptilo'd bite , told a Star re porter ycbtorday that it was not true that they hud yet discovered anything that they know certainly to bo bo anti dote. Far from having satisfactorily I'odcludod their experiments they con- bider tlmt they have practically just be gun. They have tried every alleged antidote that has boon suggested with the least probability of biic- eosa , nnd the only thing they have found that has HUO eeeded in nny degree is fluid extract jaborandi , which is made from the South American plant , Pilocarpus r-on- natifolius. Tlio active alkaloid of this is Pilocarpino. This has proved to bean an anlidolo in the case of rabbits sub- jorled to the rattle-glinka noison. Where ttie bimko poison hits been injected into the rabbit , followed at once or within a short tiiuo by an injection of this drug , the animal lias recovered. Hut it lias been found to po boss no ofllcaoy as un nntidoto in the case of a chicken poi soned by the veijom of tho. rattler. A full application ot the drug has never yet roatUtod in = aving the chicken's life. They intend to try it on turkeys and ptga. She Whispers lute The Doo's Ear Some Interesting Storloa , JOE SOUTHARD'S ANCIENT DILL. Sheriff Colmrn nnd Ills Newly Ap- .pointed HnllllTs The County IMinr- niney nnd Its Painstaking 1'linr- inaelst Mount's Grumbling. iTtiqt Ice's Tftlk. The telephone girl sald.Tustlco on the court house wanted Tin : Hnr. to call on her , Tun HKE U nothing if not polite. Accordingly , on the evening before the Pourth , it flow through the corridors of the building , past flirting young men nnd women clerks nt the water filter ; past lazy professional Jurymen waiting for n Job In the story nbove , then up Into the "well , " out through ono of the windows dews , nnd then up to the very lips of the motion'.ou goddess. The latter heard the buzzing nnd said ; "I'm glad /ou'vo come. I'm going to tell you lots nnd I don't ' care If you give It nwny. Hut , mind , don't nsk me any questions , You wearied the life out of mo the last time , " nud the old dame wrinkled her wrlnklcty face ns tf she had Just had a dose of early crab-apple. onu.Mni.ru3. "This building has the largest tot of dissat isfied people In the world. There aren't two of them who agree. The county employes kick bernuso they do not got ns well paid as Iho "roomers. " The "roomers" are the em ployes In the olllces rented from the county by the city. Well , the roomers get good pay , There Is not n clerk in City Clerk Southard's olllcc who gets less than $120 per month. There is no clerk in the county treasurer's office who gets more than jlOO nud there Is no clerk in the olllce of the county clerk who gets more than $00 per month. That accounts for SOPIO of the kicking , AM. roil Jon. "Say did you over know Joe Southard to buy you u cigar. I know you dou't drinlc. Uut he's pretty shrewd nil the same. Joe was once n deputy county clerk. It wns before - fore your time. He did some 'extra' work. It wns work which ho should have done. Well , ho put In a bill for $350. That bill has been before the commissioners slnoa the days of Knight and three times have they sat up on U. Hut what do you think in the last ex piring days ol 'Honest' Gcorgo TImmo and the fresh ones of Mr. Mount the fraudulent bill was allowed. Mr. Mount made a good be ginning , you sec. Anil Southard didn't set up the cigars ! Well , I thought ns much. O'KeolTo got furious about it. He said Hint Southard had county money winch did not belong to him. lie Introduced n resolution authorising suits to bo brought against those who were owing money totho county , and intended Southard should pay his money back. Hut I there lost track of it. "nr.i.u A coxi'.vii. " ' Coburn , ! think knew Simoral was going ; to recommend putting the prisoners to work , because , before the meeting was held , Co- burn and Mount held a confi-rence , which explains Mount's cuttle-fish tactics of mud dying the water to make his escape from con sidering a question which would bo injurious to his confidential companion. In other words he wns satisfied that Coburn should not .bo prevented in bleeding the taxpayers by charging honest workiugmen's board for bread and water served to trumps and cut' throats. " A roxrvmiuw FOU conunx. "Say , I wish you'd ask the Judges why sev eral fellows around hero urc deputy HhcrilTs now. You see , the courts require live bailiffs. Each of these bailiffs is entitled by law to * ) per day. Ho is also entitled to wages as a deputy sheriff. Uut thcso dual gentlemen collected pay only as deputies. Sheriff Co- burn , I am told , collected the bailiffs' pay. I think you will find it in his pocket. You will find he has made a handsome thing from these bailiff fees in the three years , nearly , that ho has been in office. It is only recently that ho hn > , had four bailiffs , but ho has never had less than two. It was a stingy net on the part of the Juuges to cut him oil"of from $1 to 610 prollt per day , wasn't in Tlin ' Ot NTY ] ' ] IA11M\CY. "Tliis euro-all repository is in this build ing. It is in charge of an ex-drug clerk named /Citnmer. Most men get wealthy mailing others sick. Kimmor isn't such a man. To uccomu wealthy , /Cnnmer became a protege of 'Hluo Heard' Anderson. His connection with the pharmacy brings him $ . ' ,1 per month. One of the county physicians was called to attend u child. Ho prescribed four grains of calomel , to be put up in thirty-two powders. Xnnmer refused to compound the prescription. He said it would take nil day. The child , without the mediciue pi escribed , died. The pharmacy is n furce. The cost of supplying the county sink with medicines is greater now than it was before the pharmacy was established. The physicians nro compelled to send their prescriptions to private druggists , whore homebody can bo found to put them up. ZIMMIIII'S WOIIK. "Speaking /Cimmor reminds mo that ho gets st : per month for trying to find some thing to do. Ho was first deputy county clerk , but Kocho got rid of him. Ho then took Mornn's place while that gent was nt Hot Springs. lie has. since Moran's return , been bumming around the building. Plenso don't tnlco exception to my language. I'm in a bad crowd. Anderson wanted /Simmer placed on the tax-list force , but Kocho re- fnsud. Anderson then raised the salaries of those engaged on the work to Slid ) , which would give tlmt .sum to it woman , but iSlm- mor is not in yet. " WVVIs TO MOVi : OV A PA1IM. "Mount's grumbling is wearisome. Ho hns been racking his brains for some ex pedient by which the county may be com pelled lo pay him $ l.tO ) a year instead of liiur day nnd mileage. The former salary is for thuso who have been elected under Iho now law , while Mount being ono of the hold overs , will have , like O'Kcofe , to await re election before ho can get U'o new wages. " PKPPKIOIIVT DHOl'S. "Ah ! I'm saddest when I sing , " She sang in phtlntivo key ; And nil the neighbors yelled , "So are wo ! so arc we. " The manufacture of corsets has uoi'omo so perfected that hquee Ing a girl is about us Mitlsfnctory as hugging the sitting-room btove. A troupe of Uussmn musicians , who play twenty-four pianos simultaneously , is coming to this country. There is still tune to reach thi ! woods. To euro a woman of stammering asi { her what Hlio thinkof the girl her husband came tn-ar gutting engaged to u couple of years beloru ho marriud him. A man who gets to the railroad station Just as Ills train Is going out at the otlmr end rarely stops to onjny u phus-int little chat with the good-mitured man at the ticket window. A letter rneolvod at Sinclair's packing house , ut Cedar Kaplds recently , nnrl coining from Holfnst , Ireland , wa * addressed us fol lows. "Sinclair's I'ar Icing House , City of Unbbits , Statoof lowu , Amoricu. " The foreman of u largo printing house In Ciucago received the folio wing note from the wlfo of one of the men in hU employ ; "Please to eggscuso mv husban for not coming to work to day. Ho Is doil. " Many storekeepers and merchants put up odd signs whun they move nnd wish to lot tlioir uuntomers know where they huvo jrono. One was noticed the oilier day reading ; ' ' moved the street. " , 1'hls store was across A Minnesota man painted his house with phosphorescent paint , and thu very first niuht four lire companies smashed all his windows und drenched his carpets , unU the crowd got nwuy with about f 11 worth ot diamonds and solid sihcr. A mun tame Into u elgar shou , bought n ci gar and threw u bad sixpence on the counter. Ho wus hurriedly departing when the dealer called after him ; "Hold on , hold on , It's bad ! " Never mind , " answered the pur chaser , as ho quickly pus-sod out"I'll smuko it unyhow. " "What shall I do next ? " a iked the now waitur. "I have put new sugar on them files left over from yesterday , ninde over the but ter scraps , turned the tablecloths und nut the salad. " "Well " new dressing on lobster , said the proprietor , "J gueh * you'd bettor put fresh strawberries in these shortcakus , and send the old strawberries down to tin- cook for roly-poly ; and after you get through you CUD turn over them stealth Iu the window. Tficy'rc busirin.n ? to get dry on top. " The Seventeen Yc.ir I.oomts. / The seventeen year locusts , whicTV made their lirst serious raid In thU country in 1851 , nnd reappeared in greater number ; ) in 1871 , wore duo thirf year and have nlready arrived in lllU nois nnd Indinnn , to the great coulter * , nation of the iitnnbltnnts. The follow ] ing description of the best nnd its opec ! ntions nre from an eastern exchanges ,1 The sovcnteon-yeav locust Is n Tnrp insect which is born , live ? and without traveling much. In 18J1 they made their nppcnrnnco in Kninghnm county , 111. They came from the ground in such numbers that the holes or perforations out of which thev cnmo were so thick ns to almost intersect ono another. Kvcn the margins of pretty hnrd roads would show the clean cut holes of the travelers bound for day light. Ranching the surface , Iho dirt- brown adventurer carefully felt its way to the first perpendicular object weed , shrub , bush , or trunk of tree. Crawl ing up n distance of olx or eight inches , its feet were glued fast to mhntovcr it wns clinging , and then of n sudden , nud Boinctimcs with distlnguishnblu sound , n space of over an incli opened , nlong the back , nnd out of this sooti cnmo the full-winged locust , prepared , to fly , to sing and to dio. The tlmbetf tracts were the homos of the ephemeral visitors , and their united song was pain fully monotlnous , varied only by ca donees of n rise or lull In the broozoY While cnting nothing themselves , except - * copt foliage nnd tender parts of ahooU of trees nnd shrub , they were , neverthe less , cnted with avidity by hogs , It ditt not tnko much imagination to discover n well defined letter "W" on the wings of these locusts nt that time , nnd by tha wiseacres of the day that was Inter preted to bo n sign of wur before tha next locust coming. The female locust is supplied with , a "chisel , " nnd is nlso born with n Knowledge of how to use it. Tha "chisel , " or sting , ns some call It iti these days , was a half inch In length , attached to the under part of the body und extending backward. It wns tha 8b.o of n stout noodle , nearly ns hnrd , and terminated in n sharp point. Tak ing position on the under side of the twig selected for puncturing , the locust would "back up" until nn incision was made downward and inward nearly a > half inch ; then moving far enough ahead for another , it wns made in the same way , and so on to the end of thei twig , with nlmost median leal precision. Tlio eggs dopotitod were oval-oblong iu shape , white in color , and about the alzd of a clover scod. Under the invasion of foreign substances the twigs die anil break off. While on the ground the larvra hatch front the eggs and crawl into the ground , where they thrive and grow foe seventeen years. Reaching maturity ) the pupa emerges from the ground , climbs up the nearest tree or shrub nnd attaches itself to the baric. Then ltd back splits open and the winged insect works itself out to liberty , leaving the lifeless case- attached to the tree. Within an hour or two from the time the bug crawls out of the ground and up a tree the locust is in perfect shape , ' to begin its work of destruction. Tha insects hutch out in the evening usu ally , and when the farmer wakes up m the morning ho finds his fields , orchards and crons covered with them. They nro numberless , and there is no use to try to iignt them. * , A Stroke of Genius. Detroit Free Press : She was a womnit of ready resource. While the hour wni late , two or three evening visitors yet tarried , and the moment faho heard her husband .strike the she know tlmt ho was boozy , and also grasped her line of conduct. "Ua , ha1 ! she laughed , as she rose , "ho coineth. lie has been out rehears ing for amateur theatricals and it will bo jiibt like him lo try to show off. Uo takes the part of Major Springer , who eomu'b home full. " A hand was heard clawing over the door ; a key was finally jabbed in the lock and then the major entered. Ilia hat was tipped back , his kncos wab bled , and ho hung to the door and mut- tereu : "Whnz zhis 1 slice 'fore moV Shay , Ihu'ly , wlmz/.or doing , chV" "De-lightfiil ! splendid ! " crie-1 tlur wife as faho clapped her hands. "Why Hnrrv , you are u grand success in youe role1 ! ' "What zhat ! Whazzcr laffln 'bout ? First time boon zhrunlc in two years. Had linv.lo time wiz zho boys , you know ! " "Ue-autiful ! Booth couldn't beat it ! " exclaimed the wife. ' 'Why , dear , you are a born actor. It's jutt as natu ral as life. " " \Vho shays I'm a liar. Whoop , t can lick any man in 'troit ! Ucon out wi'or boys , you know ! Shay , Kni'ly'i" ' "Isn't lie natural , though ? " replied the wife. "Uun up btairs , Harry , and change your clothes. You'll do. Noth ing could be more perfect. " "C'ha/.e ( hie ) closes ! No , x.ur ! C'liazo no//.ing ! JJp btaira ! Yes , go up wit lairs. Good ( hie ) ni/.o , Em'ly. Regular angel. Been out wi/'er boys , you know ! " and the little woman chipped her hand and lauyfccd and praised , and got rid of her company under the impres sion that no one had smelt amice. IIow- ever , the last ono was hardly oil' the btep , when bho bounced upstairs and oonfrouted the bedazcd mun with tha exclamation : "Now , then , you old demijohn , pre pare to got the worst walloping a fool of a husband was over treated to ! " And ho got it. Tliov Were Twin Mrolliri'H. A few nights agon woll-drobbcd young man , about eighteen yciars of ago , slopped into n prominent Main street restaurant , said lie was broke and wanted to go to work , says the Huttu City ( Mont. ) Inter Mountain. The gfiiinl night clerk was iiibtantly blrnclc with this declaration , together with the appearance of the young man , and biiitl : "You bettor quit your fooling and got inside and pool those potatoes you darted at. " "I don t belong hero ; why , whut'a the matter with youV" returned thu stranger. "What ! Ain't you the boy that's been working for us the past year ? " queried thu clerk , "No sir , I am not. " "Well , you nro his ghost , then , for if ' of John I'onor you ain't the dead imago that workrf for us , I'll oat my hat. " "Poner , did you say ? " abkeu the young man , beginning to gel u little nervous. ' Lot mo PCO him. That's my name , and may bo lie is my brother that l'\0 boon looking for the laat blx yearn. " The dork told him bo was buby now , but to sit down and ho woud : bend him out. The boy , who was peeling pota toes , came out t > eon with a large panful in hisnrnia. Ileban his brother , druupod the potatoes and the twins fell fondly In each othurd * embrace. They wore wonderfully nliko in tip- poaram-o. The brother who has just ar rived is named I'liilip i'oiier. They aru both from Chicago. I'liilip sayu he had boon all over California , Texas , Ari zona and New Moxica in search of liii brother to take him hack home , nnd now that he has found him accidentally , thu long-lust brother sayb lit will not Inavo , us Montana ii ? good enough fo * him.