JO tTHE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY. 3TOTB 3. 1888.-SIXTEEN" PAGES.
ENNISON ROTHERS
AT ALMOST ANY PRICE.
1
89c.
4 pieces fine quality Black Satin Rha-
ilaiim , bought lit u closing out price , on
sale next week at
89c yard.
"Would ho cheap tit $1.2o.
22 pieces All Silk Surahs , all colors ,
also evening shades. Your choice Mon
day ,
58c yard.
IfiO pieces fine 36 and 40 inch Dress
Goods , in Plain Cashmeres , Fancy
Plaids aim Serges. All colors. Just to
reduce block ,
15c yard.
Bennison Bros
MAIIONEY'S CRAZY FAMILY ,
Twenty-Two Insono Pcoplo Under
His Protecting Wing.
DOMAIN OF CRANKS AND FOOLS.
A Man Who Walks Continually One
"Who Will Not Get Out of Hcil
1'octH nml Love-Struck
Mnltlens.
A Curious Lot ,
Of the seventy-two inmates of the poor
farm under the humane charge and kind con
sideration of thu superintendent , John J.
Mnhono.y and his good wife , twenty-two arc
bereft of reason and have been pronounced
incurable by experts on Insanity. As n con
sequence they have become n charge on the
county which will have to provide for them
until such time as they are summoned to thu
realms beyond by the messenger of death.
The providing ami caring for these unfor
tunates is no light or easy tusk , and while
the majority of them are docile and harmless
they require a great deal of watching as
there Is no telling at whul moment they may
become violent or attempt nn escape. How
ever , no unnecessary restraint is placed upon
them nnd they nro allowed to roam nt will
over the largo nnd spacious grounds which
nt this time of the year are beautiful In their
urouu sward , and shady foliage. Mr. Ma-
lionoy has continually In view the comfort of
bin patlcr.ts , nui'i everything about the vast
Institution Is us neat ns a pin nml every detail
works with clpck-work regularity. Among
tlio insane people some queer subjects arc
disclosed , and tl\eir hobbles nnd hallucina
tions take various forme.
Everybody has heard of Snydcr , the walk
ing Yunkoo from somewhere down In New
England , who died recently. For n number
of yoai-H previous to his death Snydcr was
not known to keep his pedals still for a mo-
muni , either by day or night , On him there
is un almost exact counterpart on thu farm ,
the only exception being that ut night ho will
occasionally sit on lils cot and stare wildly ut
vacant space. Ho is the son of a very prom
inent Omaha family , and a few years ago ho
became Imbued with the idea that he wns cut
out for the greatest pedestrian of the times.
His solo ambition was to break the six duys'
po-us-you-pleusu lecord , und since that tlmo
ho 1ms been undortuking the great tusk. A
course of six hundred feet is
traversed daily by him from dny break until
dark , ruin or shine , and Ids only inter
missions lira when ho stops to cut his meals ,
nt which ho Is prompt und regular und con
sumes us much us three men. Another ono
of his hobbles is that there is u supcrlluous-
iiesa of llesh growing on his nose , and ho
will stand for un hour at a tlmo and go
through u variety of motions with his hands ,
always being careful , however , not to touch
Ills face.
*
A favorite eonipunum of this pedestrian Is
a young woman who disports herself on the
swnrd In the vicinity of his hallowed ground ,
but ho never notices her nor docs she him.
To look at them it would not strike thu ob
server that they were cognizant of each
other's presence and , though they have been
dally companions for months not n word 1ms
been exchanged between them. Ho keeps
right on m his lonely trump , while
b\\o \ sits In profound silence and looks atten
tively off down the road in evident expecta
tion of the arrival of some one who never
comes. Disappointment In love is her nml-
uday , nnd shu , too , comes froui a highly con
nected and wealthy famih of this city. Her
brother is pnlnmted as being worth UW.OOO ,
und the poor unfoitunuto's reason was de
throned by a ( .ouhiwng who promised to
marry hrr. After the solemn jilcdgo was
broken she became a ruvuig aiunluc , und will
never recover h r reason , However , she
i has not lost fait iu the uulief that her lover
will tome day return nnd keep coed his
promise to marry her.
August LIpdol presents u remarkable case
of ubscnt-mindcdncss : He Is an old soldier ,
fought and blcii for his country , ami.Is tha
bU K * ' . uuil most fallhHul uiun about the
$2.00.
Monday morning we will place on sulo
r 0 Ladies' 24-inch Sun Umbrellas tit the
low price of S-.OO each.
SATIN PARASOLS
$1.00.
Monday we will offer just 100 Ladies'
Satin Parasols at the ridiculous low-
price of $1.00.
Children's ' Dresses
$1.48.
Children'eCluunbrny Dresses in Pink ,
Light Blue , Navy Blue , Brown , and
trimmed all around the hottom of the
skirt with embroidery and embroidery
culTs and collar. These Dresses are iii
1 , " and B years only , and at this price
is indeed a great bargain. $1.48 each.
LADIES' JACKETS
$3.50.
50 Ladies' Black Stoehinelt Street
Jackets , tailor-made , coat back , in all
sizes 32 to 41 at the low price of $3.50 ;
regular price $5.00.
lenmson Bros
premises. August is ambitious , and loves to
work. When idlu he is uneasy , and gets the
blues. His particular weakness is absentmindedness -
mindedness , and he keeps the attend
ants of the diningroom in continual
hot water by every little while insisting that
ho has not yet had his breakfast , dinner or
supper. Ho has been known to sit down and
partake of a hearty mcul , get up , go out and
return in n few seconds nml loudly declare
that ho had forgotten to eat. Whcnpeisuu-
sion fulls to have a convincing effect , the at
tendants tell him to strike the pit of his
stomach with his hands and he will llnd that
ho has eaten his meal. August will then dose
so , and with the remark , "IJy gosh , I did eat
lots , didn't I , " will skip out and busy him
self in doing chore.- , about thu farm.
"Doc" Koger.s is another peculiar individ
ual. He has been an inmate of thu farm fur
twelve years' , but no OIK ; can convince him of
that fact. In his opinion ho has only been
there a short time , and insists that the pres
ent calendar year is It4. "Doc" " is
something of a poet , nnd never
grows tired reeling off some
of his home spun compositions. His poem
on Keokuk , la. , is well worded and full of
humor nnd pathos.but his effusion on "Snows
hair dyo" takes the cake and knocks the
efforts of modern writers of quack nostrum
advertisements clean out. The doctor com
posed the nbova for u St. Louis druggist way
buck in the dim past und was rewarded with
u suit of clothes.
*
* *
The doctor has a warm place in his heart
for a fellow unfortunate , who is quite a vo
calist and u dovotec of profanity of uo every-
duy order. This particular man is the brother-
in-law of an ex-mayor of Omaha and has
been u charge on the county for u number of
years. Ho has nn undying attachment for an
old hat , tattered and torn und stained and
discolored by long years of service. Occa
sionally to hear him give vent to his choice
vocabulary of swear words and hear him test
his hums his friends will grub his hat from
his head. This he considered an outrageous
procedure und insists that if ho loses that hat
ho can never replace it , as one could
not bo found or made that would lit his head ,
which ho imagines is ns big as the earth's
globe. At times ho becomes much perturbed
at the dilutoriness displayed by his brother-
ill-law in not coming out to settle u board
bill which ho owes Mr. Mahoney. The poor
fellow imagines that he is indebted to Mr.
Muhor.cy in the sum of M5U , nnd promises
every day to pay f 100 on account , which ho
thinks ho has tewed up in his pantaloons.
* X
ttoss Andersen , the policeman of the
cranks , Is in n sore state of boily and mind ,
and is much disconcerted unless it becomes
generally Known among his companions that
Ills signal of authority wus ruthlessly taken
from him by u city copper upon a recent visit
to the city. Uoss was the possessor of a
beautiful star , most artistically curved from
un oyster can , but one day in ono
of his wandering moods ho strayed
Into the city. It was nn
unfortunate day for Ross , for a policeman
swoop > d down upon him nnd took away his
badge. Urest-fullen and dejected ho returned
to ( ho farm , und it became whispered about
among the crunks that ho had been dethroned -
throned ns a policeman and could no longer
hull doio them when the } felt like putting n
carmine tlngo on the premises. Hess labored
long and hard to disabuse the minds of his
fellow constituenib that he wus otill a
full-Hedged policeman , but the Hy ones could
not be mailo to swallow it. Finally an agree
ment was struck up thut the OIILS who wcio
cognlnmt of his downfall wore to be afforded
unrestrained liberties , provided they kept
the fact to themselves. The corur-ncl wns
duly signed and scaled , and Hess now has to
domineer over these who have not been let
Into the secret. Ho feels his loss of authority
very keenly , but If n stray oyster can gets
within his elutehea ho will uuaui bccomo
knight , and promises to get oven with his
IKsrsecutors. In that event it is expected he
will sentence several of tneni to death.
Mary Nelson Is a regular tomboy , nnd has
more fun than anyone. Her huhis llery red ,
uua she has the strength of a Samson.
Mary's particular specialty is that of a
ballet dancer , nnd to watch her go through
the movements would make n horse laugh.
Alter balancing herself on her toes , she will
five issue to a regular Commancnowhoop
and break off into u waltz that , while it is
not graceful , , i ? sufficient to attract atten
tion. Mary has a bad temper , and when
things doii't Just. peso ! ; her she doubles up
1
Domestic Sateens ,
6c Yard.
Extra Quality Lonsdale Mus
lin , 8c Yard.
100 pieces 36-inch Batiste ,
beautiful patterns ,
1O Yards $1.00.
12 yards Crinkle Seersuckers ,
5Oc. Yard
French Sateens , 25c Yard.
Special inducements
in foreign and domestic
Wash Goods.
FRENCH WOVEN
CORSETS
50 dozen Ladies' French Woven Cor
sets , in white and colors. For one day ,
Monday , onlyToc pair ; worth $1.60.
LADIES' ' CORSETS
39c.
75 dozen Ladies' Corsets , in all sizes ,
in colored and white , Monday only ,
your choice , o'Jo each.
Bennison
her fists anil expresses a desire to clean out
the whole settlement.
Tom Lathrop , whom everybody in Omaha
is well acquainted with , is a s > utl wreck of his
foimersclf. A butter man never sat in the
cab of a locomotive , and his exploits as an
engineer on the Union Pacific rail
way do not need any reference.
He is now a driveling idiot ,
nml sits all day long on a bench and goes
through the motions or an engineer. He lias
an old piece of hoard screwed to the bench ,
and this ho refers to as the lever. With hia
mouth he gives signal whistles for crossings ,
down brakes , and stations , accompanying
each signal by reversing the lever.
An old Irish woman has not worn a pair of
shoes for nearly a year , and goes about in
her bare feet. During the severest duys last
winter she positively and persistently re
futed to wear covering for her feet of any
description , and when expostulated with
would give us an excuse that .shu was doing
pcnnance. She insists that she is the mother
of St. Patrick , nml says that if she should
put on shoes ho would disown her. She is
very pious and the walls of her roum arc
covered with religious pictures that she lias
cut from Catholic works.
Mrs. Hcllovick's insanity takes a curious
form , and she is inflicting nn awful punish-
munt upon herself. Attired as n sister of
mercy she sits crouched down in a corner ,
continually moving her lips as if in prayer
and fixing her eyes on the ceiling.
She Iris been an inmate of the farm for the
past eight months , but in all that time Mio
has not left her crouched position , or slept In
a bed. Nor is it known that she has spoken
a loud word , and all efforts to prevail upon
her to bo communicative have been of no
avail , she showing her dislike of Intrusion by
beckoning interlopers to go their way and
leave her bo.
*
J. H. Elliott's case is lust opposite to that
of Mrs , Hcllovick , as ho Insists on remaining
in bod. Ho entered the farm October 27.
IbOli , and since that date- has not been out of
his bed or bail his clothing on. Elliott's
lips tire also sealed and ho
will sit for houi-H , sucking
thu- ends of bin lingers. Ho is an old soldier ,
bcrvcd bravely in the Into rebellion and has u
wife and family living in the east.
Mary Hoth Is it fit companion for Elliot.
She , too , iimlsts upon occupying her bed
which .she has not left , for many n month ,
saying that she has lost the USD of her limbs
and slio cannot use them. This , however , is
only a hallucination oa her part , as hho is
in perfect physical health , and could move
about if shu would only m.iku up her ininit to
it. Shu has wanted away to skin and bane ,
and presents a harrowing and repulsive
sight.
There arc a great many more curious
characters at the farm , and they may some
time in the near future figure in these col
umns.
Wasp
Science : It is a fact not generally
known that , if one holds his breath ,
wasps , boos and hornets can he bundled
with impunity. 'J he skin becomes fating
proof , and holding the insect by the
Inot. and giving her full liberty of
action , you can sco her drive her weapon
pen against the impenetrable surface
with u force that lifts her body with
every etroho ; but let the smallest quan
tity of air escape from the lungs and the
sting will penetrate at once. I
have never scon an exception
to this in twonty-livo years' observa
tion. 1 have taught young ladies with
very delicata hunilfa toastonibh their
friuuds by the performance of this feat ;
and I saw one * o severely stung as to re
quire the sui vices of a physician ,
through laughing at a witty remark
of her sister , forgetting that laughing
required breath. For a theory in ex
planation , I am led to belie vo that hold
ing the breath partially closes the pores
of the fjkln. My experiments in that di
rection have not been -exact enough to
be of any scientific val.uo , but 1 am sat
isfied that It very sensibly allccts the
amount of insensible perspiration.
. ' ' W. L
' Somt2i-v.il J0 | Mass. , May 7 ,
A GREAT SALE of
FINE
CARPETS
Less Than Jobbing
Prices.
Smiths or Hartford's Moqucttos ,
$1.2.5 yard.
Body Brussels , $1 yard.
Tapestry Brussels , 60c yard.
Tapestry Brussels , 05o yard.
Extra quality Tapestry , 7Cc yard.
We shall also continue the sale
of our Special Ingrains at 65c
a yard , the best ever shown at the
price :
Good Ingrains at 22c } , 35c , 45c.
Hemp Carpet , loc pard.
2 Stair Cornet 16c yard.
SPECIAL riALE OP
Jap Mattings.
l.OOO Fine Hassocks ,
25c ; worth 5Oc.
20 Pieces 36inchfloor Oil Cloth
25c Yard ,
WE EMPLOY ONLY
Expert CARPET LAYERS
And Make atSpecial-
ty ot Fine Work.
THE TALKATIVE CRIPMAN ,
How the Cables Wear Out in Such a
Short Timo.
A GOOD-LOOKING CONDUCTOR.
The Gripnuiu Tel In Ills First and
Last War Story How a
Gettysburg KcucI
Died.
, 'Ah there , " exclaimed the gripman as Tin :
Hen man climbed on the cur for Ins weekly
conversation , ' -Well , I suppose , " ho added ,
"that you think I am lull of information , but
I am not , I am sorry to say. In fact I have
been taking u short lay off for three or four
days.
"Confound it , " ejaculated the gripman us
ho endeavored to stop the car nnd failed to
do so for nearly u block , which mnde the old
woman > vho was waiting on a corner , nearly
frantic , and who , when the car finally did
stop came up pulling as energetically as an
overfed porpoise. "Did you notice how hard
Jhut grip stuck to the cable ] ust now and do
you know what caused iti" The reporter
admitted having noticed something unusual.
"Well , I will explain , " remarked the grip-
man. "You sec the uvcrngo life of n cable
is ubout twenty-two months or such u mat
ter , and when it begins to wear out the
strands bccomo detached and catch in the
grip. The cubic runs through the grip when
the car is stnnding on the track. The con
stant passing of the cable over the largo num
ber of pulleys which arc placed ut intervals
ulong the trench or tube in which it runs
wears it out faster than one would imagine.
Well , tno loosened strands I have spoken of
catch in the grip nnd sometimes it Is hard
work to let loose. In some cases it is im
possible and when a thing of that kind oc
curs you usually sco the conductor light out
for a telephone to inform the engineer to
hut down , nnd ho generally gets there in
elegnnt shape , too , for If he Hid not thu pros-
peels arc that there would bo n general
smash up. "
"Wo keep a man constantly employed nt
the power liouso for the purpose of watch-
imr such mutters , " continued the gripman ,
"und the moment u Haw is discovered ho
sees that it is Immediately repaired , The
cables on lliirncy and Dodge streets arc be
coming pretty well worn already , " contin
ued he , "mid before the now Twentieth
street extension Is onened iii no\v ono will bo
substituted on that line , because the present
ouo is so worn that a new ono could not bu
spliced to it. "
"Hut , say , " continued the versatile grip
engineer , us the train whirled around the
corner ut Tenth and Dodge , " 1 saw un item
in your paper some two weeks ago in which
you stated that nil the conductors on this
line were handsome men , Why did not you
include the gripmeu I I tall you wo don't
take a back scat for any of them , with ono
exception ; u nice curly-headed little fellow
who bangs his hair. Wo all Jilt down when
ho is present nnd buy nothing.
" 1 attended Memorial cxuroises last Wed
nesday und marched in line with the post of
which 1 am a member. Oh , you don't take
that , oh i Well , look hero , " und ho throw
his coat buck and displayed a badge of the
Grund Army of the Uepubllc. "Oh , yes , I
fought in the war und saw some pretty tough
times. I remember ono incident in particular.
It was at Gettysburg. 1 was with my regi
ment on Cemetery Hidgo when
the Johnnies churgod on us. Novel-
will 1 forget that sight. Despite
the fact that wo were cutting great gups in
their lines , they kept on coining. Of course ,
when they saw it was no good , they yielded.
Hut ono fellow , u yount. corporal , wouldn't
give up , nnd ho kept on charging , und crossed
bayonets with mo. 1'oor chap ! he's dead
now , " und the gripman heaved a dec ) ) sigh ,
"Did you kill him I" ubked the reporter.
"Kill himl Hletft your soul , no. Ono of tun
fellows topk him by the collar and dragged
'
hm ( away before I had tlmo. Jle remained'a
prisoner about ' two months , and. during that
time I t'ot qu'ito well acquuiutv'd with hitn ,
Ypsilanti Dress Stays , all sizes , all
colors , Ic each.
Pins , 2 papers for Ic ,
Embroidery Silk , 4c dozen.
Dress Braid , 2Jsc roll ,
t
Black Pins , 2c box ,
Elastic End Dress Stays , 5c set ,
Dress Buttons , 2c dozen ,
Tinsel Cord or Kismet , 4c ball ,
Silk Veiling , 80 yard ,
Silk Ruching , 9c yard ,
Ladies' ' Bordered Handkerchiefs , 2c
each ,
Elastic Webbing , 2 c yard ,
Safety Pins , 2c paper ,
Tourist Ruching , 2c yard ,
Corset Lac-s , 4 for Ic ,
Knitting Cotton , 3 c ball ,
Hose Supporters , 80 ,
Needles , 3c paper ,
Silk Arasene , 2Qc a dozen , \
Silk Chenille , No , 1,20c , dozen.
ienmson Bros
and induced him to remain up north. He
married my sister Ho died about two
months ago.
"Hut see here , young man , " said the grip-
man , "it's about time that you skipped , " so
the reporter meandered. "Call next week
and I will give you something good , " shouted
he , and was gone.
PANNY KKMjOGO-lJACIIEIlT.
letter From tlio 1'reslilcnt of the
AVomcn's 1'ress Clul ) , Boston.
I3osTox , May 2S. [ Special Correspondence
of Tun Hii.J : : The English fashion one of
the very desirable ones to follow , by the way
of spending the larger half of the year in
the country , ami only coming to the city for
the "gay season" is rapidly obtaining here.
It Is an easier fashion to follow in Hoston
than in most cities , for the suburbs are so ac-
cc.ssible that it is an easy matter to have a
flue residence anywhere within n radius of
eighteen miles , and bo able to get to it in a
very short time several times a day. The
local railway service is admirable , and in
every direction from Hoston the iron lines
radiate out , making quick and frequent com
munication between city and suburb. Many
families' now spend the autumn as well as
summer in their country houses , keeping
Thanksgiving and Christmas there and com
ing to the city with the opening your.
As you may lmaginetho seasonthat Is , the
weeks that intervene between New Year's ami
Lent , are brim full of gayety , and it has a
fashion of stretching out and overlapping ,
especially iu families who do not keep the
solemn church fast. The winter thus past
has been no exception to the rule of gayoty.
Every day and every hour has been 111 led
with some sort of social entertainment. Par
ties Ounces , gormuns , dinners , lunches and
balls have been the order of the day and
evening , and sandwiche.l In between every
thing else , has been the inevitable "four to
six , " coming as a daily course. This fashion
of having a day at home , when ono may sec
all one's friends who choose to call is n great
social convenience , as well as a gieat
saving of time , and that , in the present
whirl of living , is something that Is
well worth considering. In the press of
f-ociul and other duties one cannot always
hold one's self In readiness to see friends ,
and it It is better to have a snecilicd tlmo ,
when ono IK snro to be at home , and let nil
who desiru to seu the hostess como at that
time. When this fashion was taken up , it
was generally supposed that it would quickly
ho dropped again , as so many other fancies
had been , but the cnnvenicnco and the
sense of this holds it in favor.
Among the most pleasant as well as brill
iant "at homes" of the winter have been
these ot Mrs. Max Hachert , at the Hrnns-
wick. Mrs. Hauhert in best known , es
pecially to her western friends , as Rmny
Jsellogg. Though nlie is Hostoneso by
adoption , she is western by birth and educa
tion , a fact that she in very proud of. I have
seen by the pupois that Mrs. Hachert is go
ing to Omaha this summer , and that while
there she will icceivo a limited number of
pupils in singing. 1 cannot help congratu
lating Omaha on its good fortune in having
this accomplished teacher even as a tempo
rary resident , and I sincerely hope the fath
ers und mothers who have daughters to edu
cate musically will not hesitate a moment
about putting them Into Mrs , Uachcrt's
hands.
Fanny Kellogg , since you know her host
by that name , was a favorite pupil of the Into
Madame Uudersdorff , and she , with Emma
Tnuisby mid Einlfo Wlnant , stand as the best
known to-day of all that wonderful teacher's
pupils. 1 Knew Fanny Kellogg when she was
first In Hoston , coming witli all the enthu
siasm of nn enthusiastic girl , to study her
chusen profession. I have known her ns stu
dent and artist , and 1 don't know which
part of her 1 like the best , her artistic or
her womanly side. Intensely In earnest , she
was one of the best students Mudumu Hudera-
doiff ever had , and has become ono of the
best exponents of her wonderful method.
' I hko fanny Kellogg , " her teacher used to
say ; "she Is afraid of nothing , BIO stops at
nothing , und she works with her brains nt >
well as with her voco. | " That is such n rare
quality In pupils , by the way. A frlcnu of
miiip , who was an earlier pupil of Hudcrs-
dorff's than Fanny Kellogg , and who has been
lit. interested in her career us I have been
says wheil ayoung-persous. bcglus to .study
1C.
100 pieces line Curtain Scrim , worth
20c ; our prieo next week fie a yard.
LACE STRIPE
WHITE GOODS
f)0 pieces Lace Stripe White Goods ,
never sold less than Lie ; on sale Mon
day , Cc yard.
WHITE GOODS
lOc
150 pieces fine White Goods.in fancy
stripes , chocks and plaids , never sold
less than 20c to 35e a yard ; on sale Mon
day , lOc a yard.
TADLE LINEN
10 pieces Unbleached Table Damasks ,
GO inches wide , on sale Monday 48c a
yard ; worth 7oc.
lenmson Bros
singing he or she usually thinks they will
best sigmili/o vocal efforts by becoming as
much of a mental nonentity as possible. Hut
that was not the'case with Fanny Kellogg ;
she was a student is ; many ways and was as
ready for a discussion m art and literatuic
as she was ready for a talk on music , which
was her specialty. Her position as a singer
everybody knows , but it is only recently
that she has been willing to take pupils , be-
cuuso she has had so much to doin ; her pro
fession , that when she hud any leisure she
wisely used it for rest. But , in spite of her
self she has drifted into teaching , taking
a few pupils who have been persistent in
their desire to study with her , nml she has
proven herself as capable a teacher i as Mie
was a careful student. She has had the best
of results in her work and has imbued her
pupils with her own enthusiasm. Ono or
two cases have bcon specially marked. A
lady came to her who hud suffered so much
with her throat that she was unubln
to read or oven to converse for any length
of time without hoarseness and muscular
pain. A com so of lessons with Mrs. Huchcit
so helped her th.it she not only could i cad but
ship. The method which she teaches , though
known olu ; this country as the "llmlcrsilmlt
method" because thin wonderful teacher
nrst introduced it here , is after all the
natural method the method of common
sense. It has many fraudulent teachers , but
the number of genuine interpreters is small ,
and of this number Mrs. Hachert is one. He-
sides , it is a liberal education for a young
girl Just to bo with her. She is so culll-
tlva'ed ' and retincd , so well educated , has
such u line social position , and is so much of
a genuine unspoiled woman , in spite of all
her successthat is a dqllght just to know her ,
and it certainlv is a ram privilege to be en
rolled us one ol her pupils
SAI.I.IB.TOV WuiTti.
The minister vainly doth squander his time
While seeking earth's ' evils to checlc ,
When ho lectures in language however s-ib-
lime ,
To the man with n boll on his neck ,
HIsliop Kowlcr , of the M K. chinch , re
cently coined the phrase , "l'iuaili : saiictilleu-
I ion but not erunhlilication. "
"When 1 look at the congregation , " said a
London preacher , "I say. 'Whcie arc the
poor ! ' When 1 count the nlTnitnry In the
vi-stry I say , 'When.no the rich ! ' "
Countrv minister on a shocked tone of
voieo ) "Why , my little boy , what aio yon
llshlng on Sunday loi' " Littleliny ( dis
gusted with his luck ) "Whales , mister , 'in'
1 never know 'em M > shy. "
In Scotland recently a man w.is tinrd half
a guinea for going to church on .Sunday and.
While ono of the worshipers was heinling at
prayer , demanding from him two daj.s wages
alleged to be duo his son.
A delegate to the Methodist general confer
ence says that thu conference has solved
every problem that has been prcjenteil to it.
This is nrotty good evidence that it hasn't
tried the hen uuil-a half-m-a-day-and-a-half-
problcm.
The preacher turned upside down the hat
that was handed up und reversed the lining.
Then ho said : 'Briulders un' sisters , do col
lection of de saints up in hcbbun am inilly-
yuniB nno mlllyums. but the collection of dis
congregation am only U cents. Try'er ugin ,
deacon. "
A Now York religious paper makes the fol
lowing statement : "At St. Thomas'church ,
Homestead , MO. , Hov , William lirayuhuw ,
rector , U at once to bo reshmglcd and other
wise repaired , and bids are now In hand ; the
cost will bo some iiuu. " The rector must
need a suit of clothes badly.
When Kev. 1C. reached the rostrum for
pruyiTB ho found lili watch about two min
utes slower , und himself as much later than
ho expected. Looking at his watch ho ex
claimed. "I shall have no faith m my watch
after this ! " "H Is not faith , but works , you
need ! " was the quick response of Kev. J ,
At u prayer niminj , ' | n a western town the
pastor urged the people to nbk any question
that they would like to have answered. This
prompted un old fellow to get up and remark :
"What I want to know is , ef an
oath taken on a Uiblo which ho the fust ten
chapters of Ofcnnysis kissed off'n it is bind-
ingj"
A great many people are content with a
very little gossip , and that little eec a lo"K
way with them , They remind us of the out
colored man in ante-bellum times. His pious
mistress , cue bcautlfiil Sabbath inornlugi
70 dozen ladies' Prime Kid GloveiS
all kinds , odds and ends , all colors , on
Monday , Ooe a pair.
LADIES'
CO dozen ladies' Lisle Thread Gloves
blacks and colors , lOc a pair.
O'l dozen childrcns1 full regular mudA
Hose , Derby ribbed. Monday lUJc pair ;
worth 3oc.
Jen mson Bros1
when there wns preaching in the neighbor
hood , suggested that ho should go to church
and hear Hrother W preach. "Misses , " ho
replied , "I haint forgot what ho said when I
was dar last. When I forgit all Uat , 1'a
gwme back and git some more. "
"Ohmamma , mammal" exclaimed little
Kdith , returning from Sunday school , "wo
hud a icul nice time to-day. Mr. Goodly
came in and told us lots about heaven and ,
the bad place , and he said that me und you
and papa were going to heaven and that Tilly
.luckson und Hill Horncr and Mamie Saun-
ili'i-s was going to the bad place. " "Why ,
Edith , what are you talking about ! Do you
mean to say thulMr. Goodly said that they
were point' to the bad place * " "Well , no ,
iuamm.1. litdidn't say so right out , but I
knew who ho was talking about. "
The other day , during a revival of religion
in a town not fur distant from Smitnvillo , a
man got UD and said : "Hiethren , I want to
own up an' git oa my conscience. I'm the
man that put water in the lard an peas in
the coffee J'vubrerisellin'you nigh on twenty
years. " "Hallclula , brother ! " shouted a
man from the last pew ; "I'm the man that
furnished the ponrhousf with meat , an1 if
you git in I'll follow you ! " "Brethren , "
said a tall man. who hud been a county
ofiieial. ns he stood up In the middle aisle ,
"I'm ' the that stole the
mun meat that ho fur
nished to tin ; poorhouse Let us pray. "
A down-east church ol the first water sent
11 committee to examine u very eloquent and
pious divine that is , to look Him over as to
his litncss to receive a call to its pulpit. The
committee went us ordered , attended dlvino
service , heard a grand sermon , and then tele
graphed laconically : "Won't do : has red
hairl" A young minister for rare eloquence
lost n city pulpit lately because his clothes
were ready-made "store clothes , " you
know ! Another in the same city fulled to
pass because he thought a few heathen would
leach eternal glory. Hair ! store clothes I
and theology ! but where was the religion I
A certain minister was invited to dine with
n member of his Hock who , thoiiu'li well
enough off in the goods of this world , lived
sparingly , uften dejiriving himself of the no-
tuul necessaries of life in his greed for the
dollars and rents. When the dinner was
served the host smd : "I can't give you
niithin' hut bucun and greens , paisim , it's all I
I can afford these hard times.Villymi unit u
blessin'C' The minister responded : "Lord ,
malleus tliil.y thankful for what we aio
about to irceive. wo expected nothing but
gieenam ] , behold ! hero is bacon also.
Make us truly thankful'1' '
Fast Traveling
An application for a patnnt was re
cently filed by a New York i-ivil ingim-er
for a nuw locomotive and tender do-
bigncd for making the fastest time
which has ever been made in the his
tory of this or any other countrv , suytj
tlio Washington I'o t. The boiler la
rectangular in shape , having u largo
and purinanunt area of evaporating mir-
fiu'o , the pressure to bo curried buinjj
" 10 pounds pci- inch , which is but ono-
third of the pressure at its weakest
point.
Tlio c.vlinders nro in the roar of In
stead of tjotwoon the truck wliceln and
the lire-box is supported between tlio
center of gravity of driving-wheolti.
All the combinations of parts arc in
oxuct liunii'iny , and it is intended to
easily make the time of sixty miles an
hour with ton coaches , and cun without
violent strain bo brought to ninoty-llvo
miles per hour with the sumo load.
Thie gain in performance over the pres
ent machine is obtained by a inntho-
matical construction with reference to
the distance between rail ( 'outers upon ,
which it is supported , and is the first
application nuulo which has tmbnu-od
and specified every portion of a loco
motive and tender constructed mathe
matically with reference- the limits
within which they bo con lined and sup
ported. As a result of oxuct proportion
with reference to such base , the cost of
maintenance will bo greatly below thu
general avivngo of constructions.
Laura Jon.us , the Georgia girl who has in
vented a new ( i'ow ' and corn-planter , la Muld
to bo a cmisin of Lulu'Hum , tUo famouit
electric tfirl.