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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 27, 1888)
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10 THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , MAY 37 , 1888.-SIXTEEN PAGES.
You can get WALL PAPER for less money from T. J. BEARD < fc BRO. , 141O Douglas
Street , tlian at any so-called Bargain House.
t ! in the City , and Will Give
the Unheard of Low Price of from
Now is the time. The Place , "And Don't You Forget It , "
THE TALKATIVE CRIPHAS ,
He Rolatoa a Lot of Amusine : and
Very Rooont Incidents.
HIS OPINION ON BASE BALL.
What HoTlilnks of Judge Wnkeley's
Opinion How nil Englishman
Cnnic to a Sudden and
"Hello ! " said the grlpmnn , as the reporter
climbed Into his accustomed place ycstordny.
' You have caught mo just in time. Do you
know that nine-tenths of the people in this
city are so accustomed to walking up and
dropping a nlclclo In the box that It is hard to
break them of the habit ! Why , only last
Thursday a man boarded the train on Tenth
street and the conductor , who was on the
rear platform , did not take up his faro right
away. Hang mo if that man didn't pull a
quarter out of his pocket and hand it through
the crack of the door and shout 'Change.1
Ho soon saw his mistake and sat down. But
I don't think from the way the other passen
gers laughed that ho enjoyed the rest of the
But that Isn't a circumstance , " continued
the ptripman , as ho stopped to take a gradu
ate of the cooking school , who had a pie
under her arm , on the car. "Yesterday u
youngster got on and after looking around
for awhile and not seeing any cash box con
cluded the bell punch around the conductor's
neck was the article of furniture he was
looking for , and tried to drop his nlcklo into
that. Of course It didn't work , but when
.the young man discovered that this was no
onc-horso institution and that there was
nctually a conductor on this line he acted as
though ho was surprised , and I guess ]
was , too.
"I have a little yarn I guess 1 will tell you
If you will ugrco not to give it away , " said
the ° gripman. "Wo have on this line a con
ductor with largo flowing whiskers of a
bright sunset color. Well , you know it is
customary for the kids who sell papers to
jump on the cars for n moment and then off
again , and uo one , not oven the horse railway
company , has dreamed of charging them any
faro. But this duck with the sorrel miino
said ho proposed to bust the combination and
accordingly llrcd every boy who Rot on the
train. But say , " said the gripman , as the
cooking school graduate with the pie got oft
and made a bee line for the board of educa
tion rooms , "you just ought to have seen the
fun next day. Just as his train was leaving
Pnxton & Gallagher's a boy with a bundle of
BEES under his arm swung on the rear end
and putting his head in the car sang out ,
'Eres your hovcning BEE , a white 'orso hand
a red whisker with hovcry copy. '
" 'Get out you little devil,1 said the con ,
and the boy got.
"When wo got to Jim Stephenson's stable
a little cub came aboard and stopped just
long enough to inquire if it wasn't 'a little
early tor crushed strawberry ) '
"At Hardin's gun store a lad sailed out
With a stub of a cigar and struck the Kaiser
for a 'light' and If you ever saw a mad man
that chap was ono. At the top of the hill on
Dodge street another kid was waiting and as
the car came up the 'con1 was checking up
Uts trip in his book. "
"Look out for the book , said the lad , you'll
burn it up and then ho sneaked. "
"At Twentieth and Cass where the switch
IB , another imp was waiting and this Is what
he said ; 'Say , mister , why don't you put
your lamp in thohcadllghtl1 'Go to thunder ,
will you,1 said the conductor , us ho reached
( or a paving block. The boy ducked out
tinging as ho went "While the lamp holds
jut to burn. "
"Well , sir , " said the gripman , "anybody
can sell papers on that man's train now.
Bnrkulow Bros , think seriously ol pntting a
tuan on and I will bet u hat the "con" would
not kick u bit. "
Last Monday I had an Englishman , a gen-
nine raw Englishman for a passenger. Ho
Was ono of this short-trousered , Seymour-
coated , double vlsar-cappedsingle eye-glassed
fellows , don't you know , and ho got on the
car , don't ' you know , and awaked mo whc.ih
the iirst claws compartment was , don't you
know. And I told him it was up on the roof
of the caw , don't you know. And what do
think tliat English rooster saidl 'Au , dealt
tnc , and 'ow am I going to got my twups up
there , dean boy ) ' Say , did you write that
Item about the young Englishman falling on *
n cubic car and killing himself I Well , ho
did not fall unassisted , ho was helped. Even
agripmnn's ' tmtlcnco gives out sometimes , "
"I notice that wo uro going to have Sunday
base ball just the same and that Parnmleo
will continue to keep his children In the oy-
clone cellar as usual. I think Judge Wiikeloy
is a right level headed old chap , and I am
glad the mutter caino out as it did. "
"You can look ( or some great work on extensions -
tensions of this cable line during this present
year , " continued the gripman , "and although
what I say Is not olliclal , still I overhear
lots of things now and then. Next week 1
Will tell you something about It. " And with
these words tlio grltmian waved the reporter
pff with a remark to the effect that his pres
ent supply of knowledge was exhausted.
There's one man whum nobody hates ,
For every ono wishes him well :
Tis the fellow who anticipates
The Joke of n story you tell ,
It Is a mighty forward spring that can keep
up with the spring fashion.
"Not every one's happy who dances , "
Is a proverb you frequently see
Exemplified when u man prances.
Just after ho sits on u lice.
And after he'll dance like a Dervish ,
When bitten by a ucd-bug or ilea :
Then his morals will turn topsy-turvlsh.
And he'll swear like a pirate at sea.
The midnight scrcnader's coma
His Imllad wild to tame ,
And though old boots around him hum
He'll guitar just the same.
He dressed himself In white ono night ;
The girl bo tried to scare
A pUtol drew her aim was true
Ho climbed the golden stair.
Pay as you go , and don't go till you pay ,
The man who hunts in the swamps bhoulO
Vcar duck pants ,
Kot cno of the champion pcdcbtiiaosvho
arc walxlng for prizes could go out on a mud
road nnd keep an old farmer in sight over an
Trusts manifest an Inclination to go where
the combine twincth.
A Philadelphia murderer bears the appro
priate name of Killer.
Time waits for no man because some men
are so long in coming to timo.
The crab must moyo in the best of society ,
for it docs everything with eclat.
A rolling stone gathers no moss and a set
ting hen hatches no celluloid eggs.
A landed proprietor may not bo proud of
his broad acres when his teeth ache.
A now paper is called The Ocean. It is to
bo hoped it will not make people sick.
You can generally toll a trco by its bark ,
especially is this so of the dog-wood tree.
Violin playing tramps are rare. The move
ment of the bow is too suggestive of a wood
Gossips are not egotistical ; they find more
pleasure in talking of others than of them
It isn't every newspaper reader who can
tell n typographical error from a great Amer
The boy who commences to steal his
mother's preserves may end by having his
"Does poetry pay ! " asks a querist. It pavs
a good deal more than most editors arc in the
habit of paying for poetr.v.
The reason some men can't make botb ends
meet is because they are too busily engaged
in making ono end drink.
After all , the old-fashioned meter by moon
light is about the only one that has stood the
test of time and the experts.
The man who expects to sec himself as
others see him puts on green glasses and
looks at himself in the mirror.
"Mammawas everybody little oncel"asked
a little girl. "Yes , my darling. " "Well
then , mamma , who took care of thcml"
An old proverb says that promises arc like
pie crust. They are like custard pie crust.
They never show up when the pie needs a
It is said that Tennyson sometimes spends
ichourson a single line. Wo have seen sleepy
old Jlsheraen who would spend days on a sin
Following in the wane of modern cities ,
Damascus is to have a street car. This will
enable the roving blades of Damascus to get
about ens icr.
The queen of May may recover. People
who cannot understand this paragraph with
out the use of italics ought never to read the
What's in a name ? Ono Jacob Walkawai
was killed by n locomotive at East Buffalo on
Friday. But if Jacob had been able to walk
away ho wouldn't havubeen run over.
Daughter Mamma , the chimney sweep on
the roof of the house has just kissed his hand
to me. Mother How shockincl Uun at
once into the bedroom and wash yourself.
Father I learn with sorrow , my son , that
you arc getting to bo very fast. Son You've
been misinformed , father. My tailor says
I'm ' the slowest man he's got on his books.
A puppy becomes a dog , a kitten becomes
a cat , u pigglo becomes a hog , a mou so be
comes a rat , out what makes men rear and
punt Is when u mortgage becomes an ele
"Indians make just as good angels as any
body else , " sii.ys a friend and defender of the
red man. Most of the people on the frontier ,
wo think , are perfectly willing that they
'Tis a wise child , etc. Papa , ( of Calvinis-
tlo faith , has Just heard that Molllo was at
the theater last evening ) Good morning ,
daughter of Satan. Mollic Good morning ,
A Kansas schoolma'am has introduced anew
now feature in her school. When ono of the
girls misses a word the boy who spoils it gets
permission to kiss her. As a result the boys
are improving rapidly.
Young physician ( to patient ) What you
need Is exercise , sir. You should walk
more. Patient ( reaching for his pocketbook -
book ) How much , young man ! I walked
all last night with the baby.
Frank Stockton docs not bcllovo that an
author need feel grief in order to produce it
in others. Certainly not ; in nlno cases out
ten all ho has to do is to write and the grief
is sure to como to the reader.
At a dinner given to celebrate the comple
tion of a country church the builder was
toasted. Thereupon ho rather ( jucerly re
plied that he was "moro fitted for the scaf
fold than for public speaking. "
A coroner's Jury , summoned to inquire
into the death of a sailor who was thrown
from his bunk and killed , reached the sago
conclusion that "tho deceased met his death
through an accident of berth , "
People are Inclined to look upon Mrs.
"Welder , of Lancaster , Pa. , who lias been
forty-live days without Jeod , ns a wonder ,
but they should recollect that there are lots
of people who live in boarding houses.
A Now York correspondent wants a
remedy' for loud snoring , Before his query
is answered ho should delino what ho means
by "loud snoring. " For soft snoring n split
clothespin on the nose U said to work well.
We arc willing to take a certain amount of
stock phrases in newspaper accounts concern
ing blizzards , but when a paper lulls us about
u zephyr carrying u bed quilt sixty-one miles
and then going back for the sheet we aren't
Said the mistress of a cigar shop to a Press
club man. "This Is the sixth time you have
been hero without saying a word about the
money you owe me. " "Ah , mudame , " said
the clover journalist , "when I see you I for
get everything , "
A Brooklyn debating society is discusssing
the quebliou as to which is the madder the
husband who goes homo and ilnds that din
ner isn't ready , or the wife who has dinner
ready and whose husband doesn't gohomol
It is believed that the debate will end in a
"Why , John , said his wife Impatiently , ns
she" Opened the door and found him stilt In
bed , "you promised faithfully last night that
you would get up in Uuift to go to church
with mo 1" "I meant in time for erasing
service , " explained John turning over lux
"I see , " observed Mr , Snaggs , "that some
eminent men think the garden of Eden was
located In the Mississippi valley , " "That
may bo true , " replied Mm. Snaggs , "for the
ark rested in the southern states , " "It did I"
"Yes , Nouh came out of the ArkansaW land ,
you know. "
A New England man has beaten , the green-
goods sawdust men aV their own guwo. He
gut one of their circulars , and in , reply asked
for n sample of their goods. They sent him
n genuine one-dollar bill , and the gentleman
of New England stopped the correspondence
then and there.
Til-H ( * .
She came , she went ; It seems a day
That she was with us hero ,
So short and ( looting was her stay
Within our little sphere.
No footfall on the parlor floor-
Alas 1 Wo are bereft-
No peeping face nt the front door.
Yes , yes ; our cook has left !
MUSICAL AND DHASIATIC.
Pat Rooney Is rated at $30,000 strong.
Mantell closes the season in Now York ,
Coquclln and Jane Hading loft Paris May
4 for their tour of America.
Arthur B. Chase will again direct the
Booth-Barret tour next season.
Buffalo Bill's Wild West will open at
Staten Island on Decoration day.
Jcnnlo Yeamans goes to Harrigan's theatre
next year to do the soubrettc parts.
Frank Daniels denies that ho Is to give up
starring. He says "Littlo Puck" suits him.
John A. Stephens' play "Narrow Es
cape , " scored a success in Jersey City on
Vernona Jarbcau continues to star next
year in "Starlight. " John Stetson will not
Maud Granger will sail this week for
Europe , nnd declares that she will not return
Do Wolf Hopper is busy arranging for a
base ball club to consist of members of the
Miss Lillian Conway has made a great hit
in the part of the king in "The Queen's Lace
Handkerchief , " in Philadelphia.
A phenomenon only half as old as Josef
Hofman , Leopold Spiolman , is having a
great run at Vienna. Ho is only flvc.
' Erminio's" run in New York extended
over 75S nights , and has been surpassed in
this country only by "Huinpty Dutnpty. "
The woman whom Actor Kyrio Bellow is
to marry is Mrs. Leslie Carter of Chicago ,
provided she shall get the necessary divorce.
The New York Bijou opera house will bo
sold at auction on May 24. There is an eight
years lease on the place , held by Uico and
Henry Dixcy may follow the i'carl of Pc-
kin at the Bijou opera house. The Pe.irl
will retire after next week , to resume early
Johnny Graus , partner of Low Dock-
stadcr , the minstrel , started in life as did
most of our wealthiest showmen , a candy
butcher with a cross road circus.
Mary Anderson is doing the principal
cities of Great Britain nnd Ireland before
starting for this country next fall , when
she will bo seen in "Tho Winter's Tale. "
A. M. Palmer has secured the American
right to Uobert Buchanan's "Joseph's Sweet
heart , " a dramatization of Fielding's "Joseph
Andrews , " which is now being done in Lon
Joseph Murphy has given up his idea of
resting next season , and will go on the road
again with his Irish plays. He is having a
panorama descriptive of the Lakes of Killar-
ney painted , and will make it n feature of
ono of his pieces.
Wnllack's theater , New York , will Inaug
urate its career ns n combination house on
October 10 with Constant Coquclin , the
French comedian. Mary Anderson and
Mrs. Potter are also booked for dates after
Coquelin's engagement. .
Messrs Gilbert nnd Sullivan's now opera
will bo produced during the present London
season. Great secrecy is maintained as to
the subject of the book , but It has oozed out
that it is taken from an old Persian legend.
Gcraldio Ulmar Is to have the leading part.
It seems strange to connect Billy Emer
son's name with the drama , but certain it is
ho has joined Katie Putnam's company , and
reports favor his metamorphosis from burnt
cork to grcaso paint and iwwdcr. In other
words ho is proving himself a very accept
Miss Sibyl Sanderson , the young Snn
Francisco lady who has been singing so suc
cessfully in Brussels , whore she created the
role of Nnnon Lcscaut , has been engaged to
sing the same part at the Opera Comiquo ,
Paris , Massauot Is now at work on a now
opera for Miss Sanderson ,
The story that Colonel John A. McCaull is
necotlating for the old Broad street theater
in Philadelphia or any other house in this
city Is emphatically denied by him. "I have
enjoyed the luxury of the proprietorship ot
a Philadelphia theater , " he said recently ,
"and I found it very agreeable but expen
Nat Goodwin has secured William Yard-
ley's version of "Gringolro , " which ho calls
"A Hoynl Hovcngo. " Lawrence Barrett
played a version of the same "GriiiKolro"
and called it "Tho King's Pleasure. " Good
win has aspirations toward the legitimate ,
and this play Is to introduce him to the pub-
lie In n serious part.
AU the wav from Banpor , Mo.comes news
that Mrs. Hit-hard Golden , professionally
known ns Dora Wiley , will sins "Homo ,
Swcot Homo" at President Cleveland's ro-
cpptlon at the Metropolitan opera hotisoNe\V
York , on Memorial day. 'Tis an excellent
and audacious advertisement ; would 'twere
true for Dora's sake ,
John A. Stevens' play , "A Narrow Es
cape , " was acted for the first time in Amor-
lea May 14 at Jersey City , N , J. Marion
Hussell. Emily Lytton , Gcorgio Dlekson ,
Henry Holland , H. LIsten , W. H. Lytcil , W.
Paul Bowno , Fred Lennox nnd Margaret
Lannar are engaged , The drama was done
In London , for copyright purposes , during
Franklin H. Sargent , of the New York
School of Acting , rechristcncd the American
Academy of the Dramatic Arts , has been en
gaged by a newspaper syndicate to write a
series of illustrated articles on dramatic
attitudes anil facial expressions. For that
purpose ho will go to the Adriondacks in
Juno , and commence work with a pho
The details of the tour of the London
Gaiety company In this country have been
arranged. After an eight weeks' engage
ment at the Standard in tills city , they go to
the Globe , Boston , for two weeks , then to
Brooklyn and Baltimore for a week each ,
Philadelphia for two weeks , Washington one
week , Chicago two weeks , Cincinnati ono
week , then returning to this city for two
weeks , beginning March IS , unu sailing for
homo on April 2.
AN HOUR AMONG THE POETS ,
The Classic Bards of Nebraska's
THOSE WHO RHYME AND REASON.
Contributions to The Boo by Those
"Wholiovc the Muse In the
Realms or Poesy and
Some poets have sung. It appeared to bo
natural with them and they seemed to have
nothing else to do. There are many species
of the poet. Perhaps however , there were
nqvcr moro atrocious productions than the
following , received by Tun BEB during the
past few weeks. Gcnlus.ns thcso samples of
rhyme bear witness , will not down. If put
under a bushel it would work its way through
the top. If confined in a room it would seek
Its way out on a fire escape , The first pro
duction Is from a born humorist. Ho was
guilty of writing four verses or , moro prop
erly slated , sixteen lines. The poem was
dedicated to a scab on the V'Q" road , the first
lour and last four lines reading :
So they say you are going ;
Yon have done all the dlrtyou could do ;
No more wo will hear you a crowing
1'or the scabs on the C. , It. & Q.
The days are numbered like grains of corn ,
When your friends will be anting for you ,
YV 'H goftjy murmur , "lie's gone up the
horn , "
With the scabs on the G. , J ) . & Q.
Sample number two. was written by &
dreamy Philosopher who pumped the wellsprings -
springs of his soul dry , and apparently
dragged them into the street. The author
seemed to have but little respect for the Eng
lish language , and no regard for his follow
citi/ens. We unhesitatingly pronounce the
entire production ono of the few real poetic
gems. In fact , it. might bo hid in great gobs
of verso , yet it would shine resplendent
through them all oven as it otherwise would
have shown in the yawning maw of our
On the stream of time wo bontmen drift ,
And on cither hand n blioro we see ,
Yet nothing know of what Is to bo.
For altho wo dimly BOO each tthoro
And our vessels make- too close before
Llo heavy shadows that never lift.
If some shadow lifter will send n derrick
to the genius who perpetrated the above
thought , ho will doubtless confer u lasting
The next , and with pan ! , wo regret not
the last , is a wecpinc wonder on Decoration
Day thrown off by a lady in an idle hour to
while the time away. The last verso is suffi
cient to give the casual reader an Idea of how
lucky he is in not seing the entire work.
Softly , tread softly , the heroes sleep ,
No more to know sorrow , no more to weep.
O'cn their country's distress , your llowers lay
O'er their graves , 'Tls "Decoration luy , "
And this one oh , list to this ono on spring
balmy spring. It will bo noticed that in
Jag 2 , as Bill Nye would say , the gifted au
thoress grapples the divine aOlatus squarely
by the back of the neck and fairly makes the
poetry hum :
"And methlnks the bmls of the trco
Are likely to hurst In their glee.
They are growing and swelling so bad. "
And yet In all human probability the
author is Janitor at n tannery.
The north wind 1ms ceased his roar ;
At lubt the Knowfall Is o'er :
And warm , balmy spring Is at hand.
Oh ! let ns hear the voice
Of man and beast rejoice
With one accord throughout the land.
The north wind's ceased his roar ;
At last the wlntnrlH o'er :
All nature seems happy and glad.
And methinkx ( he buds ot the trco
Are likely to burnt in their glee.
They are growing and swelling no bad.
The streams are all thawing ;
The blackbird * nre cawing
To the trees : "It is time you wcro up and
For your bright screen
Of emerald green
Will fcoon be needed to shield the future nest. "
Why such a versatile and brilliant person
should stalk around through the shadows of
tills world for such n , long , long time , un
known to fame , until now , passes compre
hension. Ohl that some modem Diogenes
would get out with a lantern and a gun , look
ing for such unappreciated creatures.
These few sample lines herewith given ,
together with the author's letter , is sulllclent
to explain itself. The lines nro written on
the subject of the return of the rebel Hags :
Editor Omaha Br.n Sir : If you have
Space In your Paper and think this worthy
of coming before the Bubliu Publish it if
not cast it In the waist Box I Start West In
10 or 13 days to Explore Some now nnd un
settled country Should you desire I will
give you my travells and all I discover
Should you wish to corispon with mo write
soon , as I expect to start the 1st of May.
Tor years this things been coming on
Our rites rvfubed anil honors Kuirned
While they , the Traitor * of our J < uiu !
Are rwllliib' forth their treacherous hands
And Should your course bring on a War
\Ve stand just as wu did before
Yet some of us Is getting Old
Our Hoys-Is Jiihtas true and bold
This ravishing ditty , tied lotted to the first
robin of spring , will , perhaps , cause the bird
to flyaway :
Dear robin , tnoti art como again ,
I heur thy well-known voice ;
Awaking me nt early duwn ,
Jilddlni ; my heart rejoice. ,
And when at last thy gentle notes
I'cll on my listening ear.
How loudly beat my Imppy heart ,
For robin , thou wust near.
Thy sweet voice holds me now , as then
A willing captive bound.
As oed , and dale , and cloud-capped hill ,
Thy melody resound.
Verso the second , from a soul Inspiring
poem on life roads :
He who sells his soul for gold
Urines misery to himself untold.
I.lft > la tleeting 'twill not bo long ,
Let us keep from doing wrong.
Kvery wrong thought that we ulay
MulcBjua Ntrunger nnd better all ( lay ;
'Tls.for kindness we were meimt.
Else on this eurth we d not been sent.
But' hero is the production Qf a man who
combined the brilliancy of genius with the
solid virtue of common sense , nnd took front
plnco on the first round :
My republican friend , clear Whltolnw Hold ,
You are a mnn that clings to my political creed-
It was only some papers crying tor news
And so I thought i would tell them that I would
You may rest assured I will not fall
For blessed America and home to sail
My nomination to accept again
If tendered to yours respectfully Illalno.
While the rhythm of the nbovo would
throw a cable cari off the track , wo continue
to insist that rare minds must bo tolerated.
This extract Is from a contribution bearing
the caption , "Relics of the Past. " Had it
not been that wo , wished to use it , in this
column It would have gone down to'posterity
marked , "A Helio of the Waste Basket. "
The wind whistles "by , mad nnd fiercely.
And 1 shiver ns through me It creeps.
To .spend Its wild qourso on the water
Thut falls on the sand with loud leaps.
Like broken hearts , sobbing and crying.
Moans the tall , Ihlck grass on the lea ,
And Its woeful whispering nnd weeping
llrlnga tlio past , long since dond , uacKtome.
The ngony"which the authoress suffered
partially palliates the enormity of the crime
of writing the above.
These nro only a few choice cxccpts from
hundreds of alleged "poums" coining
to THIS BKE ofllco each month. It is our de
sire to encourage all persons engaged in lit
erary work , especially those who court the
grim old poetic muso. Accordingly our in
structions to those who hereafter contribute
can be understood by the following advice
prepared by a scholar from the science de
partment of this paper. No matter what
you say , but make the lines dove-tall. Do
not try to write poetry with a drayman's
license. If machine poetry , oil the machine.
N. B. Do not use fusil oil. For instance
this epic will illustrate.
The milkmaid cuts a pretty flcure
While skipping across the green.
Where an Irishman , n Swede nnd nigger.
Are running a threshing machine.
No ilnrm in a middle Name.
A writer in an eastern review who
believes not only that thoru is some
thing : in u mime , but a very great deal ,
ui'gea the people to cense giving middle
names to their children. Ho finds that
individual greatness and worth in
America has been represented largely
by those who had no middle names.
Thus , of the 63 signatures of the
Declaration of Independence only three
Jiad more than ono name. In the first
American commercial convention not a
solitary delegate had a middle name.
In the convention of 1787 to revise the
constitution , of the 50 delegates Cl had
hut one name. Of the 41 signers of the
articles of confederation only
four had two "given" names.
Of the 30 speakers of the
house in the first half of the century
only 12 had middle names. Of the five
chief justices in the same period none
had middle names , nnd of 81 associate
justices in that time only 6 had moro
than one mime. Of the 18 secretaries
of the treasury only 8 , of the lifl secre
taries of war only 0 , and of the 21 secro-
tnrics of the navy hut 8 had middle
names. We have had 22 presidents and
15 of them had no middle name given
them at birth. Of 6 senators who be
came president only 1 was douhly named.
This is amusing but is really not an in
genious device to discourage double
naming and impress people with the
suspicion that there may ho some
"subtle forces directing the fate of
men , " nnd that "a name bestowed upon
the helpless infant may produce ef
fects" marring the career of the
man. But lot us see how statistics of
this character prove nothing. The
output.of a very few minutes of search
enables us to make this showing : Of the
33 ministers of the United States at for
eign courts 27 have two and 6 have three
given names. Of the 70 United States
senators 02 have middle names , Of the
governors of the 48 states and territor
ies 40 have double names. Of the 27
lieutenant-governors 20 have _ two names.
Of the 980 names of distinguished poets ,
authors , philosophers , clergymon.stntes-
mcn , and literary lights of many cen
turies quoted in Iloyt & Ward's admira
ble , encyclopedia 02-5 had two or moro
given names. Of nearly SOO men nnd
women distinguished in American lit
erature , treated in C. P. Richardson's
work , ( the .latest on American litera
ture , ) the division is oven between
double and single names. This sort of
pleasantry might ho continued indefi
nitely. Statistics in sucli a .matter are
scarcely valuable enough to ho amusing.
Claude Duvul tlio Second ,
Texas lias a very considerate stage
robber , says the Texas Slftings , IIo
doesn't want to hurt anybody's toolings
and ho will do almost anything , except
restoring money and valuables , to free
his victims from a charge of cowardice
in giving them up. Not long ago this
lone highwayman stopped a mail stage
near San Angelo containing thirteen
passengers. IIo ordered them to de
scend , which they did very promptly ,
and titter drawing caps down over their
faces , to hide their blushes at their
own cowardice , probably , ho proceeded
in a calm anil dispassionate maun or to
relieve them of their personal prop-
lie kept them holding up their hands
about four hours , awaiting an extra
hack that a passenger bald was coming
behind them , but it was delayed in some
manner and the stage with its passengers
1 ho robber
gers was allowed to proceed.
ber very generously gave each passen
ger enough money to pay for his break
fast at the next stopping place. An
ticipating that they might bo charged
with lack of courage when the circum
stances became known , ho alto gave
them n written certificate , which read
as follows ;
I hereby certify that all of you are gentlemen -
men , honest and brave , but that you wcro
not 'armed and prepared to defend your
selves. STAOB KOIIIIKK.
Such consideration is rarely met with
in n highwayman'nowadays. It is worthy
of the courteous Claude Puval in his
best duyj ,
Henry HYiuiIo/orl/i / LnnpfeUovA
Sleep , comrades , sleep and rest
On this field of grounded arms ,
Whore foes no moro molest ,
Nor sentry's shot alarms.
Yo have slept on the ground before.
And started to your feet
At the cannon's sudden roar ,
Or the drum's redoubling beat.
But in this camp of Death
No sound your slumber breaks ,
Here is no fevered breath ,
No wound that bleeds and aches.
All is rcposo and peace. .
Uutramplcd lies the sod ;
The shouts of battle cease ,
It is the truce of God I
Ilest , comrades , rest nnd sleep 1
The thoughts of incii shall bo
As sentinels to keep
Your rest from danger free.
Your silent tents of green
Wo deck with fragrant flowers ;
Yours has the suffering been ,
The memory shall DO ours.
The Origin of Decoration Pay.
Twenty years ago the 30th of May was
set apart in national commemoration of
the soldiers , who fell in the armies of
the north during the war of the rebel
lion. Its design was suggested by the
Roman custom of honoring on one day of
the year the memory of heroes in a body ,
n custom adopted afterwards , in a spirit
ual sense , by the Catholic church ,
founded on the ruins of the Roman em
pire and known in its ecclesiastical cal
endar as All Souls' day. As an Ameri
can holiday , the 30th of May becomes
the ceremonial of the Grand Army of
the Republic ; the histories of both the
botij' Jilld the day began together.
In march , ISou , tlio organization of
the Grand Army was outlined by tvnum-
bor of ox-soldiers , who met at the resi
dence of Dr. Benjamin F. Stephcnson ,
in Springfield , 111. The object of the
meeting was stated in the call to be tlio
selection of the means best calculated
to perpetuate the sentiment of comrade
ship that had characterized the soldiers
while engaged in the defense of their
country. The permanent organization
was effected until the following April ,
when Dunham Post was instituted.
Then followed ono or two other posts
and a ritual was prescribed.
B. F. Stcphenson was recognized by
resolution and otherwise as founder of
the order and provisional commander-
in-chief. No clTort had yet been made ,
except by correspondence , to extend
the order to the eastern soldiery , nnd
with the exception of Wisconsin the
now organization was mainly confined
to the state of Illinois , its birth pl'ico.
It is said that the movement was re
garded with suspicion in some quar
ters , and it was thought to bo an
.effort to form an organization some-
'what similar to the society of the Cin
cinnati. The snmo charge was made ,
as in the case of the earlier societythat
the the tendency was to establish a mil
itary aristocracy which some day might
become powerful enough to overturn
Ilowovcr , in spite of misrepresenta
tion on the part of enemies ami luck of
zeal on the part of friend * the organi
zation gradually gained ground. In
September , I860 , the National Soldiers'
and Sailors'convention met at Pitts-
burg , Pa. , and the Grand Army was
talked up among tlio delegates. The
result was most favorable to the infant
organization. Prominent eastern sol
diers were obligated and posts organized
in Philadelphia , Pittbburg and Wash
ington. D. C.
In 1808 General John A. Logan was
commnndor-in-chiof of the Grand Army
and in a proclamation set apart the 30th
of May as Memorial day. In his order
the general snid :
"Tho 80th day of May , 1SOS , is desig
nated for the purooso of strewing with
jjowors or otherwise decorating the
graves of comrades who died in dofenbo
of their country during the Into rebell
ion , and whoso bodies now Uo in almost
every city , village and hamlet church
yard in the laud. In this observance
no form of ceremony is prescribed , but
posts and comrades will in their own
way arrange such fitting services and
testimonials of respect as circumstances
may permit. Wo are organized , com
rades , as our regulations toll us , for the
purpose , among other things , of preserving -
serving and strengthening these kind
and fraternal feelings which have
bound together tlio soldiers , sailors an d
marines who united to suppress the late
rebellion. What can aid more to assure
this result than cherishing tenderly the
memory of our heroic dead , who made
their hearts a barricade between our
country and its foes':1" :
MM. Sarah Nicholas Evans , who died
in DCS Moines , lu. , in 1881 , was ono of
four lildlcs with whom the observance
of Decoration day originated. On April
IS , 1802 , just ono year after tlio fall efFort
Fort Sumter , Mrs. Evans , with the wife
and two daughters ol Chaplain May of
the Second regiment , Michigan volun
teers , decorated the graves of a num
ber of soldiers buried on Arlington
Heights. In May , the next year , the
same ladles performed the service again
at the same place. In May , the next
year , they rendered the same sadly
pleasant attention to the graves of eol-
dlors buried at Fredcricksburg. In
1871 congress took notice of a ceremo
nial eo significant of the nations obliga
tion to the dead and made May 30 a
legal holiday. It was becoming , after .
such a record , that -Mrs. Evans should
have a formal recognition by the Grand
Army. This was given her by Crocker
post No. 12 , Des Moines , February. 1673 ,
the sumo recognition being extended to
Miss Ella May.
Slavery In Clilnn.
Minister Don by sends the state de
partment says a Washington dispatch to
the St. Louis Globe , a report on slavery
in China , which is interesting in view
of the controversy going on. Ho says :
Slaves wcro never numerous in China
and of late years they have decreased in
numbers. All China knows , says the
writer , that an edict of the emperor was
necessary to oblige his Tartars on duty
to have slaves for domestic servants ,
and that this edict is hardly observed.
All modern writers agree that slavery
still exists. Every native may purchase
slaves , and the condition is hereditary.
Freedom is forfeited by crimes or
mortgaged for debt. Slaves are so few
that they attract little attention. At
PokSu girls bring higher prices than
boys , varying according to ago up to
eighteen years , from 30 to 800 taols.
Needy parents sell their children , and
orphans are sold in times of famine for
a few tads in cash.
The origin of slavery in China is
given in an ancient writing , the Fong-
fou-ting , in substance as follows : In
antiouity there were no slaves , neither
male nor female. The first slaves were
felons who lost their liberty by reason
of their crimes. But they wore slaves
simply in the sense that their labor be
longed to the public. Prisoners and
captives taken in war introduced a second
end species of slavery. Finally , in the
troubles and misfortunes of the third
dynasty , the poor , who were without re
sources , gave themselves with their
families to the great and rich who were
willing to support them. Thcso two
last forms of shivery caused the condi
tion to bo regarded rather as u misfor
tune than a shame.
In the memoirs prepared by the early
Catholic missionaries , and printed in
1777 , there are treatises on slavery.
Mnrrioge of slaves was encouraged for
the sake of the increase.
Slaves were usually treated with
kindness and were supported by their
masters in their old ago. Manumission
was common , and Instances arc recorded
wherein slaves refused the tender of
their freedom. The missionaries wax
eloquent in defense of slavery , and re
gard tlio institution as developing "a
mode of thought and sentiment worthy
of the authors of 'Tclemachus' and of
the ' Friend of Man. ' " The traditional
Chinese patriarch's idea of the family ,
they say , modifies and tempers slavery
so that masters and slaves become ono
A gentleman living hero who has de
voted his life outside of all missionary
i societies and nlono to charity , Mr. J.
Fisher Crossctto gives mo some information
mation ns to slavery. Ho says there is
a system of servitude carried on in the
coal mines west of Pokin. Men are in
volved in gambling debts and then
taken to a coal mine. Their lives and
labor are mortgaged for the existing
, debt and for others subsequently created
and thny remain slaves.
The Chinese have a great horror of
this condition , and the law lias done
much to put a stop to this abuse nnd in
certain districts has succeeded. Mr.
Crossottoo personally knows that largo
numbers of girls were carried oil and
sold in slavery during time's of fiunino
in the province of Shantung. A Chinese
convert at Tsi-nan-fu sold his little
daughter for $10 to serve as a maid of
all work in a rich man's family. Boys
were not marketable. Another Chris
tian sold his wife for 32.50 to pay a debt
of that amount.
Mr. Crossotto says that there exists in
some parts of China n peasant servitude
such as formerly existed in Russia.
The Story ol'n Hole ! Man.
Kingston Freeman : "It pays to bo
decent , " said a Kingston hotel man , the
other day , "as I know by experience.
Not long ago an actress came to mo ,
tolling mo that she was in trouble bo-
CHUSO of a drunken agent , that she
needed a small amount of money , loss
than S100 , to reach the city wlioro the
show was billed for the next perform
ance , and would repay me when she
arrived there. She had made the
same request of several men besides ,
myself , but they had refused. I talked
a while with the the woman and made
up my mind that she was honest , and
that she would pay me back. I loaned
her the money , and'she took her show
people and wont JIQIway. . Several of
my friends , who know the circum
stances , cuino to mo nnd commiserated
mo upon the fact that I never would
ROO the money again. I said , 'Never
mind , I never yet lost much by opening
my heart. ' And I didn't lose a cent by
tills atfalr , for a few days afterward I
received a chock for the amount. Not
alone that , but my house has had a
number of guests since who , no doubt ,
came hero through her recommenda
tion. It &hows that she lias not forgot
ten the act of kindness on my part , and
I will probably continue to receive cus
tom because of her good words for many
a day to come , I could toll you a number
of other instances. Once by acting
good-natured and decent under trying
circumstances to a number of respect
able white-necktlod , black-coated indi
viduals ; who came from nil parts of the
country to attend a convention , I re
ceived favors through their romom-
bninco of me in a number of ways. I
have known men who hailed from other
states , as far away as Maine , to como
and inquire for my place and pass nil
the houses , simply because they had
been told to come to my house by ono of
thcso minUteru. Acting as a man
bhould act gave me an advertisement I
could not have received by expending
any amount of money. "