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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 15, 1888)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ; SUNDAY , APRIL 15. 1888.-SIXTEEN" PAGES. 15 " . . . . , - , HI | i i m mmmm m mmmmmm * * * * * > ; - - n i i il Lii & CL 1310 and 1312 Farnam St. tustockn full line or llclinblc nndjustly celebrated FAMILY MEDIMES , TOILET REQUISITES , PERFUMES fie. , All of whloli nro lounlly jjunrntitpotl to elvo entire Hntlsl'notlon or they cost you notlitnif. NO M KHfUHVi NO J'OTASH , NO AHSKN1C IN dicker's ' Compound Saisaparilla Tliflicut moilldnn In the world to purlfr tlioblooJ ninl imlitimito thn nrsluni. Mottles niutnln nearly iluublo ( lie quimtlty of any ( itlicr mlrcillscd. 1'rlcc , 75 Cents. t Onolxiltlu WAmtAMTl ) tocurnatijr unllnnry CotiKh or ColUnr your money M roturnud. A Mriu nnit ( i.it * TAlvitmt : for Cuuiihi , rolrtn. Wliooplnir UuiiKli , l'iiin In Clu > t , Plonrtny , Hrunchltlii , ami nil Inllum- mnlory ulsvanua of tliu rulmotiury Civnna. Price , OO Cents. Rite's ' Calisaya and Iron UON1O AND ANTI-SIAIj-\ltlAIj. Onn or the Ohio-it nnil Hrst Mnllclno * known to roc-illcnl BClcnco rroTonta nn < I C'nrc'1 Mxlurln ornny dliion r * iiftlmt nntiiru. Improvm the niiputlto. KM- rlchovtho hloml. HplnvlKnrttU1 * thu syMuni , and 19 IxjrimmcMitlii Its cUccta. J'LM.r , I'I.N r UoiTLia. 1'rloc , 75 CGIIIH. OP Finest TantclcRN Norwegian COD LIVER OIL , With HypcphospiiStos of Lime and Soda. BO IHJTASltj NOHOAI1. NOMO 4. EAHU.V TAICKN. lll'.AIHI.V Illlll.STEl ) . This Kmntnlnn rontiitni M i > er cent of IM'ne On. and tuny Im Implicitly ilppi'tuled tipnn In every In- Btunco to ulro untlru mitMfuctlnii , nnd It uiiuruntcrd tnbuthu bent emulsion now mmU'.ur return tliu prlco. I'rlco , Pnr Cot tie , 75 Coins. Wtu I'Ki'bIN und QUININH , nt tliosnmo price. Nutritive Tonic , flood us Ciillsiiyu Toulo or Cocu Wlno. flnti.UJuoma. An ck'Kimt and effectual iirppurntlon for wliltoiiltiu Ruftcnlnu unit bcMiulirln tlio skin. Fur removing tnti , illirolortilloim , or nny Imimrlllv * It wljl liu foun 1 fnr ytiiiprior to the mnut'rntiB , Intlonx , mmps , ulnf * lucnlH. vtc. U Is iibpoluti'ly liannlu f. iitul fnr Kcnornl one In fur tirufornblu to thu llnust toilet noiip. U ill- ay IOIIVVH tliu rkln milt , clour nnd l > cntitllnl. Put tip In n liirun olcKnnt piotiil cuskut , with Iilngu cover. I'rlco , iUcuntn. S I'roriminct'tl by nil to bo moro fmKrant uiul luntlns than any 1 lull plats , ltd cent ? . Guaranteed to bo thu boat In uxUluncu * r's Tonic Wioc of Coca. ( uiirunt < > c < l superior to the Imported , nnd very far RUptTlurtu any oilier of iloruo tlcts manutncturu. our bottles con till u one ami a quurter pints. Price , 75 CUM la. BIKER'S ' AMERICAN" FACE POWDER , Absolutely luiriulu'9 , really bimcllclul ; over > bodr unuiilt Imrgo bones , 35c. Hiker's ' Compound Dandelion Pills Are tlio be t Jttvnr 11 Ms you run tnku. No mercury. No Jalap. I'.ox ( uO pills ) 15 cents. Biker's ' TOIlEfPREPARATIOIIS HlIiRll'S Ex , Strong Hankerchief Extracts IjCKiilly Kuuruntiuul to bo superior In every way Ui Liihln'N , yV.lthiMHi'M , Con ( treys , Or In fiat any. Imported unluuiettlc. Hiker's ' American Sachet Powders Ait Ivuiilly wurruutud to lioM tliclr odor for tire 1310 and 1312 Farnam Street , THE A La Persephone French Hand-made Highest standard ofCcmet ever intro duccd Into tins market. They iiupait that graceful figure and fine form which any well dretscd lady would be justly proud , especially when obtainable without injur ious ti ht lacing , etc. Indorsed as the Peerless Corset By leading dresbinakeis of 1'ans , London and New York , and for kale in Omaha by H. B. Falconer , Thompson , Belden & Co. And other merchants. Proprietor Omaha Business College , IN wNipH i TfUQHr BookKeeping , Penmanship , Commercial Law , Shorthand , Telegraphing and Typewrit'nj. 0in4 < or Zull2 ( Jelirnil. S B. Cor 10th and Capitol Avenue A CAREFUL ESTIMATE OF MEN , Ella Wheeler Tolls How Man Is Regarded - gardod by Woman THE CHARM OF MEN'S SOCIETY. Men's Ideas of tiovc Mnro Conllnl nnd 1'rnnk Among Thenmelves Thnn AVoinen Their KnultH nnd Uooil Qualities. Written for the SumMy Ilee Ci > iii/rta1itf < t. In nn article written by mo some months npo , entitled "Mon ns Friends , " L miulo some assertions which have been widely copied , criticised and miscon strued. Urged to explain myself with greater clearness , I have consented to under take a morn elaborate- dissertation on that mojt interesting ; of themes man. Moro or less solHtth In his friendship for the fairer sex , man has iv smaller amount of envy and inulico to encounter md overcome iu his overtures toward ills own sex. A woman instinctively looto upon another woman as a possible rival. A woman who has not loved finds pleasure. if not wit infliction , in the adulation of Lho world tit largo , and It is her nature Lo expect and demand it , and she re sents oven the suggestion of interfer ence in hoi : domain. A man seldom cares for this sort of thing. Ho prefers the individual de votion of several feminine hearts , and regards no man , however popular , us Ills rival who docs not molest him in his affaires d'armour. . When the average woman IOVOH , how ever , all is changed. Absorbed in her passion , she coascs to desire miscellane ous admiration , and lives only for the one. "Whun the average man loves , noth ing is changed. Ho simply adds ono more pleasure and interest to his life. It is the e.xeeptionably noble mini , stirred by an oxcoptlonably strong pas sion , who throws hit * past behind him like a worn-out garment , nnd dedicates his future to the woman of his choice. Mon are by nature no moro vicious than women , but they are much vainer , and require moro constant stimulants to their sclf-lovo. A woman commits a folly for love of her tumpter. A , man commits it be cause it Hatters his vanity to bo tempted , while ho despises the tompt- ress. ress.A man's business training teaches him to bo cautious in his intercourse with the world , yet ho is rarely sus picious by tmturo. A woman , on the contrary , sootns to bo born with sus picion in her heart. I lisivo soon ! i bij { , brawny follow who had done battle in the world's great marts all his life as ingenuous and sweet natured toward his kind as a child ; and hnvo seen his dainty wife , who had been carefully reared in the shelter of a pure homo , regarding every sister-woman and brother-man with - - sus picion , and demanding credentials of respectability before admitting them in her favor. Mon are delightfully frank and cor dial with ono another. There is nothing which causes a lone some woman who is compelled to take a long journey unattended regret her sex so much as the enviable freedom from formality among Her male traveling companions. Yet a woman who under took to treat her sisters with the same oil-hand good-nature would be directly frozen to death. Everywhere men seem to bo on bettor terms with ono another than \ve are. You have only to glance into the re spective ladies * and guntlcmcn's parlors at hotels to face this. The men greet , each cordially , cluster together and converse - verso for hours , and evidently enjoy thonibolvos. The ladies dissolve into cliques , and their atoociation is restricted and marked by reserve , formality and ennui. A woman endures the faouictyof another woman otfly as a means of kill ing time until she can bo in the society of a man. There is such a fascination about the masculine sox that a woman will sacri fice the companionship of her most cherished lady friend to share the society - cioty of a man to whom she is utterly indifferent in her heart. Indeed , she may consider him a terrible bore , but the fact that ho is a man renders him moro interesting than her most brilliant lady friend. A man , on the contrary , prefers the society of disown sox , unless the lady in question possesses some especial charm for him , or ho fancies that he sees in her a possible conquest. A man will lie to protect another far sooner than a woman will. Not that ho loves his fcllowman moro , perhaps , but dreads a lie less , maybe. Some ono has said that there is an in nate nobility in man which causes him to love virtue in woman. I believe this true. Every human being , man or woman , in his inmost soul loves truth and purity. Msin illustrates his great love for vir tue in the bamo spontaneous way that a natural woman illustrates her inborn love for an infant. 8 ho never sees it without wanting to take it ! There ia far more pleasure in convers ing with a man than with a woman. Ho is more liberal in IUH ideas , moro gen erous in his appreciation , less liable to criticise unkindly. But you must not lull him so , oven by act , else he will spoil all the pleasure you have derived from his companionship. If you do not tell him so , you pique his vanity into certain destruction of the friend.sliip. Man is as dangerous as. ho is agree able. able.A A man will keep a woman secret , if he believes he alone shares it , unless his vanity toinpts him to boustof hib conquest , which it too frequently clous. Yet ho is moro pitiful and nharitablu toward her than the average woman i , and ho ought to bo , since ho is the caubo of all her sorrow. Mon relate thuir adventures and fol lies to one another , while women con ceal thorn. Yet men bcldom rovual Ihuir inmo3t hearts , or bpouk of their most bacred feelings among men in deed , their scorns to bo u sort of shame faced reluctance witli thc-m to cdnfosn they have any sacred feelings. There- Is nothing a woman fuels greater pride in confessing to a friend than her love for her husband. If she is facinated with another man she will do all in hur power to hide Uia secret.from the vvorld. Many a man , on the other hand , will hide his love for his wife , us if he were ashamed of It , und even invent tales of advunluro to convince his friends thu ho is a modern Don Juan. The world will not materially im prove until men regard this matter in a dillorunt light , and renlh-.o that the im morality of u father reflects rismuch dis grace upon a family us the immorality of a mother. The love ami rospeot of a true tnnn is all that makes the pain-filled life of n woman rtorth living , Wealth may glvu her garments of bciiuty , pleasure muy leaU h6r il.ito paths of delight , world may wltniro her , and fame- may crown her with glory but unless she1ms the anchor of a strong manly heart that beats for her alone , the temptcstuous voyage of life is not worth taking , so far as happiness is concerned. The sacrifice of self for the coed of others and the consciousness of duty well performed alone can sweeten the bitter cup of llfalo any woman who has missed its best joy a-man'a honest lovo. EM-A. WUKKLKHVncox. . A VOYAGE TO GREENLAND. Written for tlic lire lit.1. . O. Jtimlcson , M. A. I'AUT III. During my absence our ship that re ceived some 12,000 seals nnd the process of what the Dutch term "afmaaken" or making off , was being performed , benches had boon erected on the main deck and all hands were at work shav ing the blubber or fat from the skins. The seal when born weighs about flvo pounds , in four weeks the fat beneath the skin has increased to a depth of three-fourths inches and with the ad hering skin weighs from forty to fifty pounds. At this ago the animals are in the beat condition for killing as the oil then yielded is of the best quality. The fat was formerly thrown Into high vats where Its own weight and the heat of the sun extracted thn oil , but in the im proved modern process the fat is ground into minute pieces by machinery and then steamed , the oil , after being ex posed for a time in glass covered tanks to the action of the sun's rays , is bar reled for exportation. The greater part of it goes to England whore it is largely employed both ns an illuminant and as a lubricant. It is also used for tanning purposes and in the manufacture of the finest kinds of soap. It is no uncommon event for a steamer ( especially ono engaged in the New- rouitdland ( to return two or three weeks after leaving port , laden to Uio gunwale with seals. Thus in 183-5 the S. S. Arctic , of Dundee , Scotland , had as many as 42,000 , the value of $2.50 pot- seal , being $103,000 , or in English money about JC21,875. The men on board shared one-third of the proceeds among them , the remainder goes to the owners who equip and provision the vessels. The skins are salted and neatly packed up and stowed away in the mainhold of the vessel , and all refuse matter , such as bits of muscle , etc. , is thrown over board a great food for the greedy shark which abounds in great numbers in the Arctic seas. The moment a junk of muscle was thrown in you wonld see ton to twenty fins cutting the water like the spears of n well drilled regiment. Just as ono was seizing the prize , it would turn slowly on its back and open its wide mouth , sucking it in with the greatest avidity. This species of shark ( siualus borealis ) belongs to the same class as the "spiked dogfish" and te of a brown color , in length from fifteen to twenty feet. It is ono of the greatest enemies of the whale which is often found with largo pieces of its tail bitten off. Its voracitv is so great that it is absolucoly fearless in the probonc o of man whilst engaged in feeding on the carcass of a whale and that it will allow itself to bo stabbed with a lance or a knife without being driven away. Ono day our plucky mate , Tain , did a plucky thing. Ho made a largo iron hook nnd bailed it with the bead of a newly killed seal and attached the hook to a rope. Down ho wont on the ship's lad der to the water's edge. Soon a shark was seen.swooping along. Up it came with its jaws wide apart , showing a sot of lovely teeth. Tain deftly lot his bait drop between its nippers ; those on dock gave the rope a jerk and it was hooked as securolv as any fish over was. Wo hauled with all our might and soon had it sprawling on dock , where wo all iravo it a wide berth , as wo did not wibli to experience its biting powersAs soon as it was tired out by its futile attempts to escape , a few blows on its head soon rendered it insensible and wo extracted its liver which contains a large quantity of iihoful oil. All the work occupied us gomo four teen days till the first of May arrived. Now this day is kept as a holiday by the British seal hunter , and is devoted to singing , dancing nnd other innocent amusements , which are ultimately crowned by a grand finale in the bhapo of giving a bath to all those who have never crossed the Arctic Circle before. A cold bith : is all very well and is a health-giving luxury under suitable cir cumstances , but is apt to cool one's en ergy a little if taken in such a high latftudo as wo had arrived at. I happened to bo down in the saloon with the captain , time 11 p.m. , when wo heard the noise of many footsteps and thu sound of various instruments from a tin pan up to a violin. Down they came , and assuredly they pre sented a most comical appearance. First came two persons dressed up respect ively as King Neptune and his wife , Amphitrito , both of classic lore , the former with a silver crown on his head and a long snow-whito beard , and carry ing under his loft arm a largo blue chart. Next came eight attendants , all painted up , and also with long snow- white beards. Wo received n general salute , and then the king , motioning to ono of his attendants , took from him u largo horn , which acted as a speaking trumpet. Holding it to his mouth ho made the folfowing oration : "Most noble captain , thou that guides thy storm-tossed craft o'er the surging billows of the boundless ocean , the time hath now arrived when I , King Neptune tune , and my own wife AinphiUito , yet and the retinue of faithful followers whom ye see around mo , mubt ascend from the watery depths and toll unto time the future prospects of the daring enterprise on which thoti art bound. Of late years , most august captain , my lordly preservers have been greatly en croached ujK > n by your own ship and those of thy kinsmen my scnla cruull y and murderously slain and my whales cither harpooned or driven off from their former habitations. This , on , captain , demands compensation , de mands a sacrifice ; nothing less than Bomo of your own men can atone for it , " With these few remarks ho handed the chart to the captain , who , looking over it , scorned well pleased and Immediately - mediately sang out , ' 'Iloro , Btoward , give them a drink. " Some "guido auld Scotch" was im mediately produced , and having quenched their thirst they ascended to tliu deck , und out of curiosity I followed to witness thorn. I was immediately Btiizcd by thu king's attendants , bound hand and foot and carriutl to a largo tent which had been erected on the main deck. Just ns I was being hurled in through the opening which served as a door , I saw a largo bign board with the words , "Shaving Done Cheap , " If Us only a shave I'm to got. thinks I , it won't lost I haven't long us very largo stubble fields. The interior of the barber shop was crowded and a btugo had been erected at ono end on which wore placed two chairs , ono for the king and the other for his devoted and loving wife , Thn attendants took up their places solemnly behind those of their majesties. Meanwhile I was placed on a plunk in close proximity to ono of the ship's tanks which contained BO mo six foot of water. My eyes wore then blindfolded and order was announced. ' 'Where do you come from ? " bhoutcd the king iu a w Genuine Withoufi / v / + UwvSigncclicre. THE PIONEER MANUFACTURERS OF KEY WEST HAVANA CIGARS , Seidenberg& Co , have added to their already large facilities a factory in New York City , Their long experience § en ables the m to furnish the public a cigar superior to anything ever put on the market for 5 Cents. Smokers of the FIGARO get a LONG HAVANA FILLED 5 CENT CIGAR. Which cannot be excelled for the price in the United States. BE SURE TO TRY ONE BEFORE PASSING JUDGMENT. Absolutely free from drugs , unadulterated , honest. Ask your dealer for FIGARO. Wholesale Western Agents MAX MEYER & CO. , Omaha , Neb. Also for Thekla and La Rosa Espanola Havana Cigars. stentorian voice through his trumpet. It now dawned upon me that I was ono ono of his victims about to bo sacrificed to appease his wrath , so I thought I had bettor cat the humble pie , and I an swered : "Please , yer honour , from Aberdeen Awa. " "Hero , barber , come and shave this man , treat him gently , don't beat him roughly ! " roared the king as if his lungs would burst. The barber approached cautiously , pot in hand. Now. in this pot was the barber's "world-famed shaving paste , " composed of e ual parts of oatmeal , soap and tar , which said mixture ho applied to both sides of my 'face in his accustomed offi cious manner. Ho then seized the razor , a remnant of a good old Scotch scythe , and after one or two scrapes ho pronounced mo shaved. 'The ' king's own medical advisor was iow summoned to feel my pulse , which ho did , but not satisfied with such a slight examination , he bade mo open my mouth and extend my tonguojtho appearance of which seemed to crcato in his mind a suspicion of something radically wrong internally , so ho administered ono of his pills , which ho guaranteed to cure every dis ease under the sun. Oh , the taste of it , and yet it had to be swallowed. What were its ingredients':1 Nothing else than the same as those in the barbers' world renowned shaving paste. After being thus medically and barbarously treated the seat was taken from beneath mo and I had a backward somersault in to the tank behind me. More like a drowned rat than anything else I scrambled out and made my way to my cabin where I put myself to rights and returned to the bccno of action and was rewarded by seeing no loss than six teen of my ship mates dealt with in a similar manner. After all the jollifications wo worked all tlip better and next day saw us steaming away duo north and in a week we sighted a largo herd of old seals chiefly of the saddle-back specie , Phoca Graenlandicn , nnd of the hooded species or Phoca Cristata. The former is &o called from a curved line of dark spots on its back resembling a saddle , the latter on account of a hood or cap which the males possess aud which they can blow up or inflate at pleasure , for pro tections against blows. The hooded seal is much larger than the bnddle- back , but their oil is not of such good quality , the saddle-back being fur moro numerous and par excellence the seal of commerce. Our method of hunting these was different from that employed in the ciiso of young seals. The Martin Henri and explosive cartridge were sub stituted for the club. Our plan con sisted in rowing quietly up to whore a batch of from forty to fifty were lying , usually all asleep busking in the sun. But ono , and generally a female , kept her eyes open and acted as the sentinel. Now on ncaring them the object of the hunter is to shoot the sentinel stone dead which if ho does , the rest Hoeing her lying still nnd motionless imagine thntflho is just tak ing a temporary rest from her duty. It is then an easy matter to row up and shoot the whole lot of them , but if on the other hand the sentinel is wounded she immediately utters a sharp bark and dives into the water and is followed at once by the rest just like a herd of sheep , and in all likelihood none are captured. The manner of Housing them , etc. , is the same as in the case of the young seals. Some nro not so easily killed and nro a long time in dying for though mortally wounded and nearly stripped of their skinsyot they still con tinue ulivo , indeed it IB u dibugrccublo and most revolting sight to bee the ani mals , wounded land skinned , wallowing and rolling about in their blood in the greatest ngpfy. | In length they range from six to eight foot , and when being Housed thoy.often attempted to bite their butchers , notwithstanding their having inflicted on-thorn many powerful blows. Hero wo'miit with largo numbers of polar boars , who followed us and de voured the krCjiiges or carcasses of the goals wo had hluin. Unlilco his brother the Kumstchntkan bear , the Polar bear is distinguished for its immense size , some times u Itsngth of twelve feet , nnd in proportion to its bizo bols its ferocity when hungry : Early ono morning the man at the iniibt head sang out that three bears were running very fast over the Ice in the direction of our bhip. Wo had n tine roast in the kitchen , and no doubt the scent of the juicy piece had lured them on to what ultimately proved their destruction. I ran for my rillo nnd took up a position on the fahips' prow. As they came nearer to view they proved to bo a mother and her two cubs , but the cubs wore nearly us largo us the dam , When within about two hundred yards she suddenly btood still , BO did her youngsters after crawling behind their mother , so that the throa were in a line ono behind the otljori Thinking they might innUo oiff I levelled my musket and lired at the ilum's head , inisseu nor but by good luck the bul lodged in the neck of ono of the cubs making it drop instantaneously , its spinal column being completely shat tered in the cervical or neck region. The mother sot up such a howling when she saw ono of her offspring lifeless on the ice but she never moved from her position ; so again loading I covered her and this time the bullet found its billet in her back. Tho' dreadfully wounded she still continued to protect her remaining cub and it would have excited anyone's pity to have marked suoh affectionate concern expressed by this poor brute. The first mate came up alongside nnd put a ball into her flank , causing hnr to leap high in the air , and with an amazing bound she pluntred into the sea and begun to swrm about , in good stvlo. His next shot , however , proved fatal , while the needful was also done to the remain ing cub. Wo then manned a boat and picked them up , and by means of ropes and btcnni wrench they were soon lying lifeless on deck. Their skins arc really the only valuable part about them. They fetch a high price from S-50 to $00 apiece. It is strange that their livers , if eaten by man. are hurtful and oven deleterious , while the flesh and liver of the seal on which it chiefly feeds are nourishing and palatable. Sailors al ways got sick after eating even a small portion of it ; some oven die , and the effect on others has boon to cause the skin to peel olT their bodies. This is , perhaps , almost the only instance known of nny part of the lle&hof a quad ruped proving unwholesome. About this time also , wo described in the distance some 300 or100 walruses. Now the name sea cow or sea horse by which the walrus is mOst generally known , has boon wrongfully applied ; since the animals which itdenotcs have not the least resemblance to such land animals. The denomination of sea elephant which others have given it is much hotter imagined , as it is founded on a singular but very characteristic feature. The walrus like the elephant , has two large ivory tusks woiging from 10 to JiO pounds , each of wnich hangs down from the upper jaw , ono on each side. Had it not these tusks ono would bo inclined to say it was an overgrown seal. Like the seal its fore limbs are concealed in the general body cavity so that nothing appears outwardly but hands and feet. Tlio body is clothed with a very short coating of hair and its hind and forefeet ter minate in sharp , pointed claws. In length it ranges from twelve to four teen feet. Some of thorn are found to have but one tusk , the other being torn out in lighting with each other , or , per haps , through decay or old age. The ivory brings a greater price than that of the olipnant's , being of a moro com pact und harder consistence , The oil derived is also of equal value with that of the heal or whalo. They lie in herds on the ice , huddled together like a lot of hogs , roaring and braying bo loud as easy to attract the hunters' , uttontion as to their location. Asa rule they are like the old seals , ono of them ulwnys being on the look out. At the approach of a boattho sentinel raises the alarm , and the whole herd wakes up , but they are seldom in a hurry to got away till a shot has boon fired. They then tumble ono over the other into the &oa in the ulmostcon- fiiHion. but generally reappear again near the boat , no doubt out of curiositv , but thu pointing of a musket UMially makes thorn pop down out of night in an instant. The best place to aim at is the eye. When wounded they become ex ceedingly furious , often rushing at the boats and driving their tusks right through the planks , exerting all their strength to overthrow thorn. Wo secured about ono hundred of thuso , and then made up our minds to proceed toKpit/.borgon , the great whal ing ground of the north. [ 10 HIJ ( 'ONTINtTKI ) . ] Imitating Toxus Sittings : Judge Duffy. "You were arrested , sir , while making a speech from u dray while under the in- Huenco of liquor. ' Prisoner. "Old you Bay the dray was under the influoncu of liquor , judge ? " "You know what I mean. Are you guilty or not ? " "Guilty of making a speech ? " "Guilty of being drunk ! " "No , sir ; I wus not drunk.your honor. I was only experimenting. " "In what way ? " "I road , your honor , that IMsmarolc took sixteen drinks of whisky while making hia recent great speech , and I wuntod to see if it could bo done. " "How did you succeed ? " "I succeeded in getting into the lock up. " "Well , you will probably succeed in getting n situation on the island If you keep on trying to imituto liismurck in that way , You may go this time , but jou had better quit spcuch-maklui , ' on the Utamtiruk plan. " ' "Thank you , judye , I will. " Ferguson Furniture Co. Will Do , AXD WHAT 'I'JITA WOX'T DO. Wo won't make an immense sacrifice for the benefit of the public. Wo won't sell a stove and keep it in repairs or ono year and then exchange it for a new one , and then give you your money back if you don't like it. We won't pull the bed out from under you if you are sick and two days behind with your installments. We won't take your stove away because you are out of work for a week or two and can't pay up. Wo will sell you goods at a small advance on cost. We buy for cash by job lots. We keep .a large stock of carpets , oil cloths and linoleums , desks of all descriptions , parlor goods , bed room suits , stoves , lamps , crockery and glassware. We furnish houses from cellar to attic in one day. We servo rich and poor alike. Storage goods to pay charges. Largo stoclc of refrigerators and ice chests. WEEKtY AND MONTHtY PAYMENTS. : i FERGUSON FURNITURE CO. J , & Y01B , 12,1 , and 1213 Farnam Street Carpets , Stoves , uRijmiRii , CMBPiTsT roqn WEEKLY AND MONTHLY PAY MENTS , O. H. CURTIS , Pct . J HURD THOMPSON , Sic. T IA . MANUFACTURERS AND DtALCRS IN COTTON LINEN 4. RUBBER HOSC COTTON LEATHER 4 RUBBER DELTINQ , OIL. RUBBER COSy i 8AMER CLOTHING DRUGff -GISTS' RUBBER SUNDRIES /fc . 'HARDWARE t. BPORTSMEN'O y TOY AND STATIONER'S ' AND EVERY KIND OF RUBBER GOODB. NEATLY DONE. DEWEY & : STONE , ITURE A magnificent display of everything useful and ornamental in the furniture maker's art , at reasonable prices. CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH DIAMOND BRAND ENNYROMDIAMOND ONLY CENUINB ENNYROM feBEWAnEOFWORTHLESSlMITATIONS > ASK DRUGGIST fOR QlCHESTCR'S EHGL15I } SAFEJawAYSWLIABtE TO LADIES' ' DIAMOND BRANDJAKEHOOTHEC IHD15PIHSABLE.SOLD BY AIL DRU66ISIS ? , OR IHCLOSC 4f ( STAHPt ) I ASKFOR DIAMOND BRAriDXHiCHClTtirsdrcuSN OR MARTICllLAnsI ANDTAI < rH3pIHH 5CC JIlNATUHf OH IVtRY BOX. CCTTCN BY RETURN MAIL _ . . _ . ' mf I I . . . . . sit trs'NAfuRt DM eVraiTbsx n K nnnUNlOUCITtDWRmCNTHTIUONULJ AUDOVIRrROMlADIESWHOhAVtUltOH E B f .1iM OJUUUciliainTUOCi < SUUUUAUOMOARAtiaf > INMyROYALPILLSWaHSUCll.l B MUH V lietwecn the two grand Oiivec-Kticrmnn Avo. and Bau ml era ht. , under special urraiiguiuunta with Mr. KouiiUe , I urn imablcd to ollur tlili 8ileUUd | ( property on very aealrnblo torins. I'rlcts from * l'JtX > up. 100 more houses to be built tills y ur : cnblo line nnil street curx ittacli tliU addi tion CoiitrnctH and iJteds direct from Mr. Kountzo. 'Telephone No. lw. JAMES STOCKDALE , Special Agent , 113 N. 16th Street 1