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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 15, 1888)
. 1 r ' " : . r - . : : . . - . . , . . ' . . . . . ' : - / - . - . - . . . . THE OHAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY JANUARY IS. . 1889-TWELYE PAGE& ' ' D ; SOME TALKS'ABOUT WOMAN , Train Olrla May Earn Living \Vhon Women Envy Mon. THE CHEERFUL WORKING GIRL. Tlio Maid of the Kutnro Handsome AVomeii in IMc.xIco MfH. llur- IOII'H Good Luck A AVhlNtlcr. " " My Nnrtlirrn Olrl. From Die , SmMi ; nf HtHilnM / ) ' Jrnirt. My northern girl has an eye for blue Where the violet Its fikyborn colors show , Penciled with ii7iiro soft and true ; And her brow Is white as the stainless snow , The rose tint flashes sublimely red On her damask check In its maiden glow , Where alternate pink and crimson spread In playful blushes that come and go ; And her rosy lips are fairer far Than the pearly gates of heaven ajar. The blue In her eye Is serenely bright , Her queenly brow Is supremely fair , She rivals the moon in her homo of light Enthroned in the realms of upper air. The queen of the night has no hand of grnre , Dimpled nnd white , like the august maid , And mi Hinlle that plays o'er a queenly face , Glowing alike In the sheen nnd shade ; * Oh ! suvl Is there anything half so sweet AH her lip where the doors of Eden meet ! Train Oil-Is lo lOnrti n rornhill Maga/.ino : Did girls get from childhood tlio sumo business training as boys , and were it clearly understood in nil families that it is no credit , but rather a discredit , for women to hang helpless on the men , instead of doing their own work , and , if necessary , earn ing their own living. I believe that so ciety would not be tlio worse , but the b6tt'er. for the change. Men would lind out the more they elevate women the greater use tliey get out of them. If , instead of a man working himself to death for his unmarried daughters , and then leaving them ignoininioiisly de pendent upon nuilo relations , ho edu cated them lo independence , made them able both to maintain and protect them selves , it would save him and them a world of iinhnppincss. They would ceii'-o to bo cither the rivnlo a very hopeless rivalry or the pluythings lirst nnd afterward the slaves of men , and bo- coine , as was originally intended , their co-mates , equal yet different , each sex supplying the other's delieioneies , and therefore litted to work together , and apart , for the good of the world. What this work should bo individual capacity x alone must decide. AVIien Women Knvy Men. San Francisco Reporter : There are jusl three tilings for which a woman un-vio" a man. The lirst is a secret not to bo told , the second is the ability and power logo out whenever ho feels like it at night , and the third is his being nblo to get along without ruin-soaked petticoats slapping against his heels. A man's legs always look so comfortable in wet weather , lie jiuts on heavy shoes , thick socks , turns up his trousers and Btrikes out. A woman on her miserably clothed supporters 1ms thin stock ! ntrs , tight boots and good-for-nothing san dals. Mnny female geese even cling to white skirts , which are just so much paper in the rai'i. Thou out she goes. In half a block the backs of her legs from heels to koces arc paturated. Her bkirts are muddy and draggled , and her temper is milled and cut bias. If she chance , us often happens , into a pud dle , her thoughts , if not her language , . * * * If could grow smoky. wo only wear the literal as well as the figura tive trousers , especially in rainy weather , we might keep as sweet-tem pered as the opposite sex are flatter ingly supposed to. Tlio AVorkhiK Girl. It is not easy , says IhoSernnton Truth to lind a moro ohoerful picture than tlio bright-eyed , alert , intelligent working girls ono meets on sidewalk or in street car till those chill , murky mornings , hurrying to their various avocations in. Btoro or factory , or wherever employ ments awaits them , to keep hand and brain busy during the day. At the hour when the fair head of the average fash ionable beauty is still chained tohor pillow by sleep and langour , the result of lute hours and social pleasures oft re peated , tlio widu-inyako working girl is astir , preparing to join the great army of toilers that till the day with the fruits oMabor. The working girl is a wholesome Pludy as she hurries to her ta ks. Tlio ' Jlore'o jealousies that often burn their way into the heart of the fashionable world have no place in her pure breast , and there is no deceit in her smile. Like Longfellow's "Village Black smith , " she "looks the whole world in tlio"fAe < > , " and a heiress might envy the luster V.'hii'h shines through her candid eyes. What trying tasks await her wo know not ; neither do wo know how weary she will bo when she returns homo in the evening from her toil in store or factory , whore brains and nerves and patience are often tried so hard ; but this wo know , that the world is brighter for her "good morrow , , ' and that there is promise for the man hood of the future in her clean heart and spotless life. When wo thiiik of these things and of the struggles that are so often woven into tlio life of tlio working girl by the avarice and greed of some employers , who seem to think that women were born to work hard for poor pay , wo can not help wishing that there were moro in the world's workshops. Wo invo had great inventors in the world who have bridled the forces of nature and made thorn subservient to the touch of ( I child , but no inventor has yet ap peared above the horizon with any ade quate discovery to compel harsh and money grabbing employers to do justice to th'o working irirls. Wherever wo lind them well treated it is the result of kindness on tlio part of those they work for , but good treatment ought to bo theirs by rightand their lives ought not to bo bruised by injustice , no matter who may employ them. Tlio Servant Mali ! oftho Future The hired girl had arisen from her luxurious couch and was standing be fore the dressing table in her boudoir arranging her long , badly beaten gold- hued tresses in a fashion which would tend to keep them from falling too nu merously into tlio succulent prepara tions of the ciilsino department over which she reigned supremo. Upon the marble-top before her lay a programme oftho , Coach Gentleman and Hostler's grand ball , which she had attended the evening before. She picked it up and carelessly ghmccd over the names of her partners : James E. Quine , C. A. B. Driver , Samuel Hansom , Peter llcrdic ( his X mark ) and do/ens of others who had sought her hand in the mazy the evening before. Which did she euro for the most ? Suddenly up the stairway n voice floated softly. She btarted'up , and there was n btrnngo , mcgacing ligh'tin her oyo. Again the r words came distinctly to her ears from , the uiibcou bpeaker below , but she an- - BWured not. Rising from tlio luxurious divati upon which bho had thrown her- folf. sjiie waited , but the voice did not como again. Ton minutes later thoio was n.'iii'ock nt the door. She rose and received from a liveried page a deli cately scented note. It reUl : "Mrs , Wealthy's compliments to Miss Do Cook , anil asks if she may expect a few mo ments' assistance in the preparation of dinner ut 0 ? " Turning languidly to un elegantly carved escritoire , the maid ( limbed off the following ami handed it to the waiting boy , who- bowed and van ished : "Miss Do Cook's compliments To MrH. Wealthy nnd thinekH ho is tu fruuh and usl'dn moro than the con track calls for , Hut will give Mrrf Wealthy audience At 680 ; and CotiHtiltand advize rugardind the repast , though Miss do " is much ongweed to assist In pro- it.1 _ InmlMimc Women Scarce In Mexico. Correspondence of the Philadelphia tccord : Whoever comes to Mexico in enroll of female beauty is liable to meet vith disappointment , for though the reninv eyes and raven hair of the 'nstilfnn-Mcxlcun tyio ] is very attrae- ive , the truth is ono sees moro hand- omo women on the streets of any north- rn city in half an hour than he can find n a year nt the Aztec capital. Ono enson for this is aristocratic dames and iliimsols seldom go upon the streets at ill except in their closed carriages , and women of the lower elates are too hard ivorked and unkempt to rotnin beauty > oyond their early youth. In the oxclu- < iv circles of the Mexican upper-ten- ilom are some very l > cautiful women. The wife of President Diaz has claims 0 that distinction and so have a few ; liters in olllcial circles. The loveliest jjirl in the city of Mexico indeed , the prettiest ercnturo ever saw is Kiigono liti/uino , [ laughter of that notorious Frenchman iow dead , I believe ) who figured hero so conspicuously during the brief empire of Mii.xmiliun. Hers is 1 romantic story. liu/.ino , you Iviiow. was tlio representative of Napoleon HI. when the latter tried to eep the Austrian adventurer niton a hrono in Mexico , and marshaled the French troops in this country in the lame of tlio French ciiioror ] , till the 'ortuno of Maximilian began to wane. Marshal llnzaino loolc possession of a palatial residence in the City of Mexico , ind levied tribute oil' the richest haci endas. Uero ho fell in love with a joautiful Moxicana , Senorita do la I'enn , whom ho married and who bore lim a win and a daughter. When ho joeaino an exile in Spain his win joined : hero , and is yet an ofllcor in tlio Span- lull army ; but the Mexican wife and laughter have always remained here. All his once vast possession were con fiscated by Juarez and the liberal party , MJ that the income of Mrs. and Miss la- ! c.aino is exceedingly limited. QThey live in a very quiet way , on the north side of Alemadain a line.hubstantial casa , which the government has generously given them ; but an air of the deepest gloom surrounds and overshadows it. Kugeno is only twenty years old , combining till the best traits of her French father and Mexican mother , and is well educated , as education goes in this country , where women are supposed to need no higher learning than a little knowledge of mu sic , embrodiory and the lives of the aints. llnrton'ri ( iood The dispatch from the San Diego in the Kxamincr aiiiiouneoing that Mrs. Burton 1ms established her right to 100,000 acres of the Ksonada do Todos Santos in Lower California , create jrji n- ideruble surprise. It was sluteti that some of Mrs. Burton's land is situated n and about the town Knsenada . , iiueh of which property has been sold by the International company to private parties. The International company of Mexico claims to own all tlio peninsula of Lower California between the United States boundary line on the north and latitude 28 on tlio south , comprising about 10,000,000 acres. The most of this land is described on the map of the company as follows : "Pino lnmirocky , rolling , farming land , salt and clay , salt salt lake , wet salt land dry salt land , salt marsh , sandy loainsandy , " and so forth. The town of Knsunada , situated on tlio crescpnt-shaped bay of Todos Santos , hiifl on May 1 last a population of about 1,400. Mrs. Burton is a Mexican lady who married Captain Burton , an American soldier who took part in the Mexican war. lie was captain of company F of third artillery and General Sherman was then lirst lieutenant of the same com pany. At the time Colonel Stevenson's regimen't arrived in California Burton was lieutenant colonel of the regiment. i\fter the Mexican war Burton went back to his regiment and was made major. Mrs. Burton has been fighting her claim in the supreme court of the Mexi can republic for the past eighteen years. Her claim takes in the whole town site of Kiiscnudu , and the present .money value of her possessions on the peninsula is c-ti mated in spot cash quotations at $5,000,000. Mrs. Burton has one daughter and a son living. The son is residing in San Diego and the daughter is the widow of Miguel Pedrorona , who accompanied Secretary of State William II. Seward in his journey through Mexico Mrs. Shaw , ( lie Whistler. Now York Sun : In her semiprofessional - sional position as a whistler at high class concerts , private musicales and society entertainments. Mrs. Shaw , de spite 'all the interest her art has ex cited , is practically without imitators , as she is wholly unrivalled. It is not alone that she is the possessor of a unique and pleasing gift of music mak ing. It is the further fact that she is industriously and with infinite pains de veloping this gift under a system of rigid training. The high standard ol her original purpose has not been lost sight of for an instant. On the con trary , any deviations from it have been in the direction of progress ; and witli tlio growth of her powers , her taste and test and requirements have grown with equal pace. When she made the cour ageous plunge of selecting as a vocation the very novel oao of whistling in pub lic , she was a sulHeiontly remarkable woman. For she proposed to make ol whistling an art that would stand 01 fall upon the plain and simple question of musical merit. She relied upon no adjuncts of variety show mimicry 01 trickery ; she depended not upon society favor or managerial booming. It is wholly through her individual faith in the excellence of what slip had to otToi that she has become a unique figure in the amusement world a world whoso favorites reap ricli rewards that are al ready within her grasp. A wonderful feature accompanying Mrs. Shaw's appearances is the cnthu faiasm aroused among her listeners bj her work. As a stimulator of literal1 ; work it has been very prolitlc , and the attempts to do justice to the whistler ii words will really enrich the language HONEY FOJVrHK LADIES. Leap till the lust uniit'il mnlo expires ; Lcup for husbands and for sires ; LC21 ! for a chaneo to build the hrcs , Kuir ouGS ibraugliout the laud I For our girls Look boioro 5"CU ! "ap J'eai Honey in n Httlo water is excellent to smooth the hands. Washing in cold water when overheated is a frequent causa of disfiguring pimples. Twenty-six now woman suffrage societies have boon formed la Kansas since October 1. Every time n lady physician calls on a gen- tinman patient she shows plainly that she's Mr. calling. A woniau never reaches middle life ; she is always young until she gets old enough to boast of her uge. lllnck veils induce tan nnd whlto ones In- uro tlio eyes , no pray nnil 'blue should bo chosen , even If they uro not so becoming. Turquoise , opals mid i > eiirls are in high nshion. ; St. j ouls plrls clntm they nro not as bad as bey lire painted. Phtube Couzlns would make a good Gov- irnor of No MIIII'B Land. Mrs. Whitney , It Is snld , spends nbout 10,000 per yciir on flowers for her homo. Much undycd wool underwear N seen In lie shops , and It Is accounted very wholc- OII1C. Two old Indies who lmvc is cd three score nnd ten recently took their Hist look nt u lo- 'omotlve nt lilakuly , Ga. Mixtures of silk mid wool and "silk-flu shed" goods In wool and cotton are the note- vorlliy features of the coining spring sen- ion. The British postofflcc service employs ,1,000 vouien. Competitors for places Inivo to bo over eighteen ntid under twenty years of ige. The roughness which urines from exposure 0 the nlr may be remedied by sponging the faeo with equal parts of brandy mid rose vater. I'licro Is a rupo nt uresent for fancy Jew elry In line gold and silver , both plain and ox- dl/ed. The dulnty patterns are wholly lovel. The ribbed wool underwear that flts llko a glove Is chosen In pink or blue , as whlto so soon becomes yellow unless one bus the pearl of laundresses. "Currency green" Is n now shade , the tint of freshly-printed Jive-dollar bills , und can only bo worn by the whito-Bklntied blondes who also have color. Never put kid gloves upon llttlo children. It Is simply barbarous. Jn winter woolen nltts urugood and sensible , with lisle thread for moderate weather. Said Lucrctlu Mott , when asked bow she nanagcd to never have any trouble with ser vants , " 1 never ask them to do anything I know they won't do. A woman In Belfast , In response to all In quiries us to what she wanted for n Christ- mis piesent , said she wanted a e.illeo apron. She cot forty-one of them. No man's character is formed , " says Howells , "until he has been tried by the woman ho loves. " Generally the man .loesn't have to wait long. Louisa M. Aleott accuses literary ladies of giiorimce and helplessness in business iniit- : eis. The bruins , she i emnrks , that can earn money can take care of It. Jones "Strungo thing , Mirandy ; every time you draw a breath somebody dies. " Mrs. Jones "Well , I ain't going to stop jreathing on that account. " The women of P.iris have adopted for the winter season n waggle in their walk. The ut of waggling gracefully in furs is being luught ut the best dancing schools. Iu underwear line French llannel Is now made up us chemises and drawers for all who neline to stoutness as the bulk of an extra garment of percale is thereby avoided. Silk stockings again match the gown In color , and slippers uro made of the dress satin with buckles of Ithinestono in the bows , orelsc a confection of beads and lace. A bevy of Indian girls from Alaska have been brought to this country to be educated and accomplished , the object being to send Lhcm baek at u luturo time as civilizing in- lluoneos. The Baroness Burdetto-Coutts takes n deep Intel cat in the poorof London und is ut the liciul of u scheme for providing workshops furnished with sewing machines for needy sewing girls. Gay und pretty corsages made of the wide 1 Ionian nnd Persian sash ribbons are worn by young ladies to brighten up dark wool dresses of Cashmere , Henrietta cloth , and toilets of black faille. Velvets and moire are now made into petti coats us well as satin. They uro flannel-lined , cut with a joke without Jacket und adjusted by drawing strings , und have u flounce or three rullU's at the bottom. Dancing gowns arc made Just to clear the floor , and have low , sleeveless cot sages , either round or pointed , draped nbout the top with erepo do cliino or lisse , lopping to the left , und continued below the waist. Handsome skirts for winter wear , a de cided improvement on the heavy quilted skirts of loimer years , uro made of striped or plain silk , sotiu or plush , lined with flun- nel or silesia , and bordered with a plaited llounce. Tlio new zephyr ginghams imported thus early to be made up for summer during the quiet of Lent und early spring uro now on the merchants' counters , and uro moro ele gant and costly than any colored cottons pre viously seen. Cheviots in cool natural gray and fawn , in iluo herring bono pattern , uro always in de mand by refined women of conservative tasto. Mixtures in black and white shepherd's checks and cross bard prouiisa to bo iu special demand. Tog is an excellent cosmetic. To it is duo much of the beauty of English complexions und those who live In hot ami dry climates must bo doubly careful to guard against their desiccating oiled if they would escape the appearance of mummies. Southern women , who , ueforo the war , bad little fancy for work , are now taking a keen interest in the problem of earning a livelihood and uro willing to muko them selves Independent of masculine aid when ever opportunity oilers. To wash Inco or line embroidery without wear , rub whlto soap on tlie soiled parts , then cover with soft water and set for twelve hours In sunshine , then rinse in clear water , pull out each point with the lingers and pin upon u pillow or sheet upon the carpet to dry. dry."No "No lady can tell ono of my plush saeques from real sealskin without rubuing her hand over it , " is the advertisement of u Jersey City merchant , and most of the ladies of Unit city talk to each other from a distance of six feet. Thoydon't allow any chaneo for rub bing.A . A yoling lady living up town received n special delivery letter. The messenger handed her the book to sign for it. She took the book , and instead of writing her signa ture she wrote : "Dear John : Glad to hear from you. Como Sunday night. " She had answered the letter. Many gowns seen nt the opera have trimmed skirts made of satinund rnoiro stripes nbout an inch lind u half wido. Over this is drapery made by alternate stripes of moire ribbon of the same width , between each of which is Inserted strips ot gauze if the dress is colored , and lace if it is white. Tlio "high urt" cra'zo in London and Paris has about done away with the tight sleeve , In which the arm hud quite the effect of u s.iu- sago roll , though it Is questionable if some of the draped , slashed nnd puffed affairs that replace it are not oven moro of monstrosities , for all they are medheval. After many trials and many failures , man ufacturers have ut last found a thoroughly lust black dye for cotton and llslo thread hosiery , n dye which contains no injurious material und will not stain or crook in the least. It is guaranteed to withstand contin ued washing with soda und soup. Very bcautiftl Henrietta cloths nro lately imported with small designs woven In their exquisite surfaces in tinted silks , tiny pink roso-clusters on cream white grouiid9pausles In silk und velvet on pulo mauve surface's , Jasmine and Jonquil blogsoms on backgrounds of delicate chamois or apricotund pUre snow- white buds on peach-blow nudpalo green. The first woolens Imported by merchants for dresses for early spring are Henrietta cloths in silk und wool ; all wool ehudduhs ; camel's hairs nnd Scoth cheviots of silken quality and feather weight. Those are warm enough for the coolest spring days , though much lighter iu weight than the winter goods now worn. Fur-trimmed bonnets make their appear- nneo ut this season of the year , nnd for this purpose sable , beaver nnd black Persian Iamb nro much used in borders , in loops for trimming , iu tabs on the crown and iu minia ture heads set nbout la the trimming. These are seen nllko in both bonnets and turbans of velvet or of the soft piece felt. The new polonaises shown for spring nro quito similar In their straight lines and se vere effects to the Dircetoiro coats of several seasons ago. There is no drapery ; the skirt of the polonaise falls in classic lines , but a Jwuffant nppv'irunco Is given to the "dress Improver" worn oCnth. which takes the place oftho extraneous draperJTfcently used for tlio sumo effect. Boston Young Lady -"Don't say 'vaso,1 Polly ; the word Is pronounced 'vawzo.1" Country Cousin "Certainly , dear. Well , ns I was saying , I went down town to buy some lawzo to trim my hat , and I walked at such a pawzo that people must have thought I was in for a rawzeund when I got to tbo storomy fawzo was as red us tire. Do correct ing when I say anything countrified , won't you , Anastawzia. " SPARKLING GEMS OF JEST , Song of the Kooloy Motor Apoth- osls of Musclo. THE REVOLVER UNNECESSARY. Wnntcd n Nnnic Mttlo Ah Sltl Her Hustle Wan llnre An Old Mnn'H Sorrow lilts ol' Humor. Sons of UtcUCcly Motor Man. ; / < I ( OH I'mJiec niniie. vo a deep mysterious jiowcr nnd nn occult "etherlc" force That shall rattle thro' the galaxy and shako the universes , That shall haul the Bolar System llko n mighty train of cars , Crack the ridge-polo of creation nnd shakedown down the polar start. A ten million engine po\ver In uiy etherlc vn- per floats , i , That will shake the constellations If my Mo tor ever motes. j Hitch n belt of my Invention round the axis of the earth , iVnd a "vibratory sympathy" 'will speedily go forth That will start the earth rotating nnd no power its course can stop ; Spinning thro1 the constellations like n plan etary top , And ncaro the trembling Pleiads like a herd of frightened goats/ Shako the rafters of Creation If my Motor ever motes. And I think 'twill more directly in about a week or two ; Please subscribe another million to put the matter tinou' ; Just a paltry million dollars will secure what I seek , And I'll set my Motor moling by the middle of next week ; So hand In your prompt subscrlutions , casher or promissory notes , And you'd all bo Goulds and Asters if my Motor ever motes ; If my Motor ever motes , If my Motor over motes , All bo ViuulerblltH nnd Kothchilds If my Mo tor ever motes 1 The Itcvolvcr Unnecessary. Chicago Tribune : A gentleman was conversing with an Idaho minister whom ho happened to meet on a rail- tmd train , "You have been preaching in the west for several years I understood you to sav , did I not ? " lie inquired. "Yes , for the last twenty year" , " re plied the minister. "You know , " continued the eastern man. "how wo sometimes read of minis- : ers in your country quently , having to go into the pulpit with a revolver to use in maintaining order in a turbulent congregation. Is there anything in it ? " "Oh , yes , I have known ministers to do it , bu I consider it cntively unneces sary. " "That was always my idea , too. " "Oh , yes ; yes , altogether unneces sary , " returned the preacher. " 13e- sides. it always scorned to mo in.vorv . [ > oor tiistc for a min'ister of the g'ospol , [ trenching peace on earth and good will toward man , to go around tied to a hip cannon. Yes , a gutj is wholly uncalled Tor , " continued thp good man , as ho took the roll of sermons in his left hand and reached down .with his right nnd extracted a fourteen-inch knife from his boot leg ; "yes , wholly uncalled for ; L'ivo mo this bowie jn my boot-log and n ijood pair of braes knuckles and a hymn book in my coat-tail , pocket and I will carry the gospel to any man that over looked through a collar ! The shooting iron has had its day as a method of evangelization. " The Apothnsls or Musclo. Utlca OiVcmr. From the furthcrcst point of the old Land's End To the house of John o1 Great , From the foggy batik of the sluggish Thames To the Isle of Man remote , Now arc heard the cheers of Britain's sons , Full and strong from every throat. From the royal homo of the Prince of Wales And the hut of the Cornishman , From the gilded hut of Londoners And the den of each thieving elan , Comes u note of prniso for ouo truly great , For our slugger , Sullivan , Alasl what n change from the good old days When our Lowell , theji the pet Of the charmed circle , the upper ten , The aristocratic- , * Was the favored guest nt every feast , And the pride of all he met. Now he weeps nlono In his Boston homo , And bitterly mourns his fate , While ho envies him on the British shore On whoso bidding princes wait. But his day is done , for.to Englishmen Muscle alone is great. AVanlccl n fiood Name. San Francisco Post : "Mister Editor , " said a suburban granger , with clover burs in his pants , "can you loan me a Mexican newspaper ? " "Certainly , " replied the editor ; "do you read Spanish ? " "No. " "Then what do you want it for ? " "Well , replied the granger , cheerily , I've got -100 acres of alkali hog wallows in San Bernardino nnd a right smart liar for a partner , and I thought , ns the land wttsn t good enough to graze sheep , if I could get a good Spanish name for it I'd start a boom town. " Ultlo Ah Sid. Still Frriricfocn HVisp. Little Ah Sid Was n Christian kid A cute little euss , you'd declare With eyes full of fun And a nosa that begun Uight up to the roots of his hair. .lolly and fat Was this frolicsome brat As ho played through the long summer day , And braided hin cue As his father used to In China land , fur , far uw.iy. Once over a lawn That Ah Sid played on , A bumble bee flew in the spring ' "Molican butterfly I" Said lie , with winking eye : , Mo catcheo and pull oft urn wing. " Then with his cap Ho struck it a rap This innocent bumble e-bce And put its remains In thcscat of his Jeans : For a pocket thcro hud the Chimcc. Down on the green at tha little sardine , In a style th at was strangely demure , And snid with a grin That was brimful of sin : S'Mc masheo urn butterlly , sure. " Little Ah Sid Was only a kld } Nor could you expect him to guess What kind of a bug He was holding so snug In the folds of his loose-fitting dress. "Ki-ynKiyl-yol" ! An Kid cried , as ho Koso hurriedly up from this spot ; " Kum-a-kaml "Ki-yll - - Dam urn Molican man "Urn butterlly belly heap hot I" Her Bustle' Was Hare. Young Mrs. Russio Went to her bustle , To get her line diamonds hid thcro ; But , sad to relate , Her sorrow was great , That she found that her bustle was baro. Where Wai Ills Pistol ? Texas Siftings : Several Texans wore listening to ono of their number read- jntj about the fight between Kilrain nnd Jo7n biHi U. Among the listeners was nn old fronUorb2a > .who was known to bo very easy on the lri 8r' H ° was very much intorefctod in the reading , and frequently interrupted the reader. "Whatl" he , gasped in surprise ; "knocked him dqwn again ? " The reader butiaflcd the old man's iifrlosity and proceeded with the rcad- ng. ng.Vhafs that ! Hit him In the chest ? " "Yes , hit him n terrible left-hander n the chest. " "Well. I declare. Whar was the the other feller's pistol ? " An Old MIIII'H Sorrow. Alnsl" the old man sighed , with bended head , 'What brilliant drcnni.s of life have como and fled ; 'How have I yearned for fame , nnil o'er and o'er 'Spent sleepless nights In searching burning lore , 'And now In weary npo , I dimply find 'Folks sny , ho is a man of brilliant mind , ' 'Ho's deeply read in philosophic books , "And mathematics with Its turns nnd crooks , ' 'To him is like n volume nil unsealed , ' 'It's pages opened and it's truths revealed , 1 'The books he writes are read by learned men , ' 'Who wait Impatient white ho wields his pen. " 'Hut this , alas , no music has for men , 'When greater men on every hand I see. 'Oh 1 why on knowledge did I waste my nil , 'Instead ' of learning how to play base bull. " Superintended tlio Knrth. It was lately said ol a self-sulllcient eformer in words that many persons might well lay to heart : And RO every day ho gave the Almighty Advice Which ho deemed of great worth ; And Ills wlfo took in sewing To keep things a-going While ho superintended the earth. [ The Churchman. Iteinnrkable PreHcneo of Mind. Pat Hoolihan , while slating the roof if one of our highest buildings , lost his tooting and foil. Over and over ho went until within : , wenty-ll\o feet of the pavement , when lie struck a telegraph wire and managed to gra p it , lirst with oao hand , then ivilh both. "Hold on for your life , Pali" shouted liis fellow-workmen , and the bystanders ushed to the nearest dwelling for a mattress. Pat hold on for a few seconds , when suddenly , with a cry of "Shtaml from under ! " ho dropped and lay senseless in the street. Whisky was used , and Pat finally came to. When asked why ho did not hold out longer , he feebly replied : "Oi wuz afraid the woiro 'ud break. " Ho recovered. Seen In 11 Street Cnr. Philadelphia North American : A conductor who forgot and yanked the fare register five times in a vain effort to stop the car. A driver who seemed to think ho was a kind of American Juggernaut. A newsboy who nearly broke all the bones in his body in getting : out tlio door when he saw the conductor had spied him. A frantic passenger who called "Hero , boy ! " at every street corner ho pns ed until at last he got a newsboy alongside the car and bought a paper. A man whoso feet seemed to bo the biggest part of him. A young Indy who sank into a scat with a half-injured air , nnd never once thought to say "Thank you" to the old gentleman who gave her the scat. Seventeen two-legged males that sal still while a lady with a child in her : irms tried to hold it and hang on to the strap at the same time. A six-year-old youngster who got on the scat with his knees and energetic ally wiped his muddy shoes on tlio clothes of the passengers at each side of him. A drummer who insisted on opening his box "just to show the lincst line of iumples that was over on the road. " A man who hailed from Squeduncnnd asked at every corner , "Air this ere Second street ? " Twenty-seven passengers who swore and thirteen moro who felt like swear ing because the cable stopped and they had to yi-t out and walk after they hail paid tntir fares. An old lady on a cable car who asked in a frightened way : "For nms-.y sakcs ! Where's the horses ? * ' A man who had dyspepsia and in sisted on telling his symptoms to every body who would listen. IMIMKTIKS. Philadelphia has n parrot that prays. Rend liitn an u missionary among the countless profane and fallen of his race. A church in Knnsns has been sold for side walk taxes. The members probably objected to walking iu n straight and narrow path. The only pulpit in Hownn county , Ky. . is now vacant , and furnishes nn excellent Held for any minister who wishes to display his skill in making drop-shots with a rifle. An English country rector Is trying to live on fl.-0 n week. Wo hope that no immigra tion act will prevent his coming to America. There is a largo Held for such clergymen here. here.Noah's Noah's three sons wore named Shem , Ham nndJapeth. Shem went to Asia , Japcth went to Jaffa and Ham to Cincinnati. Tills is tlio reason the latter city believes firmly in the Baconian theory. At Lignou , Ark. , the pastor of a colored Baptist church , showed so much attention to the sisters of his flock that the male mem ber. ) requested him to resign , and then tarred and feathered him and run him out of town. Fourteen convicts at Sing Sing experienced n change of heart ono day , and tno warden nt once ordered every ono of them locked up In strong cells. Ho says that "getting religion" in state prison always means some now dev iltry. "This world was made in six days' " said the parson. "That may bo , " replied the scoffer : "but it couldn't have been done by contract , unless public ofilcials wej-o n good deal different from what they arc in these days. " A llttlo daughter of an eminent physician in Lcwiston , Me. , ciimo in ono day to her mamma with , "Can God do everything ! " "Yes , certainly.'Can Ho do everything ! Are you sure , mammni" "Why , yc.-i , Ethel ; to bo sure. "Well , can Ho gupo with his mouth shut ! " An old colored preacher , not very well versed in reading the scriptures , once read the words : "Wine is a mocker , strong drink is raging , " ns follows : "Wine Is a moccasin sin , strong drink is a rattlesnake , and who soever , is deceived thereby , is not wise. " A teacher in the south who has a class of 'bright little darkies , was recently explaining to them the sermon on the mount , and one of them said , with regard to tlio "meek inherit ing the earth , " "Dey ain't ' gwiuo to get that earth lest dey pay for it. " A colored troupe oetcd the "Passion Play" at Athens , Ga. , on Wednesday night , in ludi crous costumes. Tlio negro representative of the Savior wore a shroud , while the devil was garbed in black , with cow's horns on his head. During the last act these two got into a fight , and his satanlc majesty , being the victor , called upon the audience to become como his disciples. A youngster of eight was taken to a ser vice in u Uoinun Catholic church , having previously viously been warned to leave all his play things at homo and bo very quiet wmlo in church. As they left the building ho said in nn injured tone : "Mamma , you told mo I mustn't play in church. What was that lady next to mo doing with marbles , then I Shu had a whole string of white alleys. " Here Is a story that Is told for a fact in the circles wherein Colonel Hobcrt G. Ingersoll moves. He entered a church , sauntered up the middle aisio and coolly took his scut in the corner of ono of the finest pews. A few moments Inter the owner of the pew , a i > om- pous , purso-prouil.but orthodox manmarched , with telling strides to Us door. Ho seemed slightly discontented , at seeinga stranger in OccUP'lUQn. He seated himself and taking a memorandum bock from his pocket ho wrote , "I pay $5,000 a year for this pew sir ! " Coolly taking his pencil from his pocket , without changing his position , the man of the silver tonguewrotounderneath. . " ! don't doubt your word , at all , sir. It's a d n good pew. " JANUARY PRICES ON Comforts , Blankets and Flannels January Reductions on Comforts. Ooc to SOc , 85 to 70c , $1 to "Oe , $1.2-i to SI. $175 to SI. 10 , $ :2 : to $1.05 , $ l.2o ! to $1.00 , $2.60 to $2.16 , $2.75 to $2.40 , $3.2o $275 , $1.00 to $11.25. JANUARY REDUCTIONS ON ' " WHITE , RED & GREY BLANKETS $1.25 to 81.00 , $2,00 to $1.70 , $2.25 to $1.00 , $2.60 to $2.15 , $2.76 to $2.2.r > , $0.00 to ,60 , JANUARY PRICES ON FLANNELS January prices on Plain Ked Flannels. ISc , 20c , 25o , 30c , 35o , 37jo , 40c , and 60c. January prices on Red Twilled Flannels , 25c , . .Oe , 33Jc , 27e10c ! , -15c , oOc , 65c , GOe , Ooc , January prices on Blue Twilled Flannels , Il'Je , 45c , and 60c. January prices on Plain White Flannels , lOe , 12e , 16c , 20c , 25o , 2Sc , 35e , 45c , 50c , 55c , GOc , 05c , 70c , SOc , $1.00 and $1.20 , two last named numbers are silk warped. January prices on Plaid and Striped Flannels lie , I7c , 20o , ; ! 0c , 05c , 40c nnd 60c. Wo are solo agents in Omaha for George Mcrritt & Co.'s Shrunk Skirting' Flannels 2 ! ) and 81 inches wide at 60o and $1.50 per pard. Wo cannot buy too much in the praise of these Flannels. Wo know they nro the best Flannels made in the United Slates. Wo will send you samples of them gladly. NAPKINS. Twenty-five dozen S all Linen Napkins , worth $2.00 , special price for Jan uary $1.25 per dozen. One Hundred Marseilles Quilts. Full 11 4 and worth $1.60 each , special price for January $1. Wo like nothing bettor than to have you ask to sec the bargains that wo advertise , whether you wish to purchase or not. Our stock of domestics is complete every day in the year , and prices will always be found to be the lowest and qualities the best. THOMPSON , BELDEN & CO , , 1319 Farnam Street. r \ \ OFF ON i ! * 1311 FARNAM STREET.