THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , JANUARY 8 , 1883.-TWELVE PAGES.
INCIDENTS- THE. ALTAR
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Bho Married a Scholar An Ohio Ror
munco.
HE FORGOT HE WAS MARRIED.
A BtrmiKC WcildlMK A S
llriili- Wanted to Spllci
Blic Drew thn Mnc ItrldcN
AVIio I'crcli In TrroH.
Kli ( > MHrriril u Hulinlnr.
Frnw l/ie / Km/.re / ! i lr.
Oh , she said tho'd never marry nny Tom
nnil Ulck mid Hurry ,
She'd wcil Hoinu famous scientist of learn
ing nml renown ;
Hut lior Tom WHS quite commercial , mul of
ApiiftMz mid Herschel
Ho wan us Ignorant , she snld , ns any clrcut
clown.
So she ( rave i > oor Tom the mitten , and ns
meek an any klttun
He went to making money mid forgot his
wild dispuir ;
Forgot , 1 say ; at any rate lie hastened to do-
Kcnurmo
Into u fordid business man , a trilling mil
lionaire.
Hut she wed a sPlcntlllc and his tastes were
iuito | torrilii !
For various kinds of Insects and for toads
and other pimo ;
And Instead of plaques'iiml nictiircs , rattle
snakes and boa rotistrictors
He'd take Into his sitting room to orna
ment the same , .
As a zealous decorator ho preferred nn alli
gator
To a statue of Minerva or u bust of Henry
Clay ;
And you ought to hear him talk awhile of his
bouncing baby frorodllo
That he played with in his parlor Just to
while the time uway.
And his cohrn dl enpello , n very charming
fellow ,
Through his dressing room and bedroom
used to nonchalantly drift ;
And an elephant' . * proboscis and two young
rhinoceroses
He presented to his childien as a lilting
Christmas gift.
Hut he sold his wife's piano to buy Ipecac-
nanu
To feed his hippopotamus to case his
stomach aches ,
And a shark utu up his baby , for you know
how hungry they be ,
And he went and pawned his overco.it to
* feed his rattlesnakes.
An Ohio Romance.
A WollsvUlu , O. , dispatch says : Ro-
nuinec follow * ) romance in rapid MIC-
ccKsion in this part of the country.
Only a few days ago was reported tlio
cotihiiinination by marriage of a love
episode that had its inception through
a correspondence botweun the young
couple , who wore Htrnngord to each
other. The hcqtiel to the following ro
mantic story proves tliis case did not
end as auMneioiisly for all concerned as
did the llrst one. Carrolton is the
county heat of Carroll , an adjoining
county , situated on what is known ns
the Tusearawas valley , a "rich agricul
tural region in one of the garden spots
of Ohio , noted for its beautiful women
and fine cattle.
A. P. Morland is one uf the principal
attorneys in the place , a man of largo
means , undoubted influence nnd promi
nence , and the father of a beautiful
daughter named Linda , who has just
graduated from a well Known boarding
hchool. Miss Linda , an has been noted ,
i really a handsome girl , highly ac
complished , and possessor of a voice of
rare purity and power.
Like many of her hex , tlio idea of se
curing unknown'corrosKndents ] seized
her and the piibtiuie-for a period was
very fascinating. ' Disappointment ,
keen and erul , lias resulted to at least
one of the principals in the all'air.
Her correspondent proved to bo a Mr
James Wright , of Chetopa , Kan. , a
stock-dealer and a man reputed to be
worth at least , SoO.OOO. The corre
spondence continued for sonto time ,
when Wright formed the notion of
taking his fair unknownrl ( ) fill a void in
Ills western homo. What the nature of
the. correspondence was is of course a
mystery , but a few years ago Miss
Linda Mortland , of C'arrolHoii , was
very much surprited to have ushered
into her presence .fames Wright , of
( Jhotopa , Kan. , in whom she saw her
unknown correspondent , who came to
wed her. When she saw him she was
seized with a cam'ico and evidently ex
perienced a revulsion of sentiment , for
she refused to marry him , declaring
she would never do so.
There the mutter rests. Mr. Wright ,
who is a young man of intelligence ,
honor and integrity , was accompanied
to Carrollton by his sister , a well-
known and estimable lady of Cincin
nati , who-Hj presence was intended to
vouch for the gallant , and so bo a wit
ness that his intentions were honorable
nnd serious. This of itself inado
many friends for the disappointed lover
who loft Carrolton for his sister's homo
in Cincinnati somewhat crestfallen , but
by no moans discouraged , as ho declare" *
ho will yet win the young lady in spite
of all , an intention he says , that became
irresistible when ho first saw the object
of his affection.
The alTair has created no little stir in
the humdrum village and the case has
boon the ono topic of conversation for
days past. Tlio manly part Wright has
borne in the matter and h.is standing in
the world since his position and wealth
have been rovoulud hayo somewhat
overcome the prejudice existing against
the means in which the atl'air was
brought about.
The young lady's actions and her re
fusal to marry Wright are mysteries and
whether the result of impulse or caprice
or a yielding to the entreaties of her
family cannot be learned. The villagers
tire watching the case with interest.
Forjjol Ho Was Married.
Chicago Tribune : A paragraph has
boon going the rounds of the press of
late purporting to be a tr.uthful account
of a remarkable.tavso of absont-njinded-
H08S which inn'do a young man forget his
wedding day. ' A prominent civil o'ngl-
ncor in this city called attention to this
floating paragraph yesterday , and said :
"I know of TJ jnuch moro remarkable
case. It wa/ / ' * not absent-mindedness ,
however , butim illustration of the won
derful concijjfration ) of thought which
ia possible h gvcat qmorgoncies. Some
where about ; lSB7 Kd 1) . Alasou , assistant
engineer on 'tho ' Wabash road , went to
Buffalo to bq married. ' The ceremony
was porfonne'd'at lOo'eloek in the morn-
* ing. WhileXfo'ngratulations wore being
extended the > no\vly wedded Uoncdict re
ceived a telegram ( rom his chief in To
ledo informing him that an important
truss bridge ever a river on the line of
the road had been burned , and must bo
rebuilt iminodlatoly. The working
Vihvn * could not IK ; found , and Mason was
ordered home. \
As the trains rati he could not reach
Toledo beforo'tho ' next .morning. Talc
ing a hasty adieu of the bride and the
wedding party , and promising to return
nt 3 o'clock to partake of the wedding
dinner , ho hurried to the otllco of an
engineer well known to him , who al
once placed the /uCJlKio > of his olllco at
Mason's disposal ! Uy 11 o'clock ho was
hjird ut work' . * Wlion U o'clock came ,
feeling faint and wearyho walked down
Btnlrs mechanicallyentered a neighbor'
Ing restaurant { hat lift had frequented
before , refreshed himself with a.t > and-
wich and a glass of bwer , and returned
.to his work. , Hy o o'clock ho had dupli
cated tlm original plans of , the bridge
from memory , Including exact measure-
itii'iiti and quantities , nnd telegraphed ,
from Toledo. On this telegraphic plan
the bridge builders instantly set
to work and found it absolutely
correct even to the minutest de
tail. It was a most astomishing
font. Hut what is still moro astonish
ing is the fact that the moment Mason
left Ills bride in the morning until ho
had forwarded his telegraphic report
he never recalled the event of his inur-
ringo. When he went out for his lunch
ho might just as well have gone to the
wedding dinner , as tlio distance was no
greater , and excused himself without
loss of time. Hut his mind was so occu
pied in meeting the emergency that < io
thought of anything but the burned
bridge could gain entrance.
"In later years Mason was a colonel
in the army , a prominent member of
the American Society of Civil Engi
neers , and loft as monuments to his
skill the bridge over the Mississippi at
Hannibal , and that over the Missouri at
St. Joseph. Ho died some fifteen years
igo. Ills widow is still living , and has
n my presence corroborated , so far as
iho could , Colonel Mason's account of
iis wedding-day experience. "
A Htrnnjio Marrlnjjc.
St. Paul Globe Washington Special :
social circles were stirred to their cen-
er to-day by the confirmation of the
umorof a sensational elopement and
msty marriage. The contracting pnr-
.ies were Miss Bessie Hillyer and G. G.
Bucklov. Miss Hillver is the daughter
> f Mr. llillyor , of the firm of Hillyer &
{ nlston. She made her debut in Wash-
ngton society last winter and was quite
i belle. She is beautiful , accomplished
ind witty , and was a great favorite in
society. Mr. Buckley is twenty years
) ld and son of J. D.vBuckloy , president
if the District medical association. IIo
s in the employ of the National bank
of Washington. It ngpenrs that the
couple wont to Baltimore early yostor-
Iny morning nnd after obtaining a
narriage license wore driven to the
residence of Uev. Dr. Ferguson and
wore quietly married. Mr. Nougorias ,
son of the 1'orlugueso minister , was the
inly person accompanying the young
leoplc from this city.and with members
> f Mr. Ferguson's "family formed the
tnly witness1 of the ceremony. After
he marriage the young couple returned
0 this city. In" the afternoon Mrs.
iiuckley returned to her father's homo
and calmly announced the fact of the
narriago , and the groom returned to
its home. Mr. Buckley wont to his
desk at the bank to-day , but declined to
say anything about the marriage. A
loculiar phase of the alTair is that Miss
Hillyer was engaged to bo married to
Will Tronholm , of the treasury and now
lolding a position in the Philadelphia
nint. The announcement of the en
gagement has been made in the papo'rs.
Mr. Tronholm has boon coming to Wash ,
ugton regularly to visit his betrothed
mil was in the city hiit Sunday. The
Star this evening says : "It is learned
, hat neither the parents of the bride
uir the young lady herself consider the
ceremony binding , and that steps will
it once be taken to legally annul it as
laving been procured by fraud on the
> ai't of the young man. " ,
AVill Marry a Skeleton.
A Detroit , Mich. , special to the Pio-
icer Press , says : For weeks past J. W.
ColTce , a living skeleton hero nn-
louncing in his advertisements that ho
lad a fortune and was desirous of mar-
ying. The matter was looked upon as
1 huge joke until Saturday , when C'oll'ec
ind his manager repaired to the county
dork's otlice and procured a marriage
icenso , the victim being Miss "Eva ,
ourtwright , daughter of a farmer liv-
ng leji miles west of this city. Miss
Courtwright had seen C'oll'eo's ail vert ise-
nont in the papers and visited the mu-
icum. She talked with the 'articulated '
joncs , and after satisfying herself that
10 mean business , she announced her
willingness to marry him. She then re
turned to her homo and notified her
parents , who wcro loud in their disap
proval , and threatened to take Ifcgal
steps to prevent the marriage , but the
voung lady reminded them of the fact
Llwt she is twenty-two years old , and
Llml she would do as niiited her best ,
ind the marriage took place Christinas.
Miss Courtwrjght is Quito good-looking ,
ind before this craze struck her was ac
credited with ordinary common sense.
A ( Jeorgla Komance.
A Waynesboro , On. , special to the At
lanta Constitution'says : The return of
Judge Brinson from Franklin , Tenn. ,
with his bride is the culmination of a
life long romance. The Citivon has
gathered up the tangled threads of the
story , which runs as follows :
Some years ago Judge Brinson , while
a young manvwas a student , at Lebanon
[ Tenn. ) law school , met and told the
story of his love to Miss Hearn. IIo
went to headquarters and asked for the
heart ho had won , giving the county of
Burke as a reference to his antecedents.
Tlio Methodist minister at Franklin
took charge of the reference , and wrote
to the minister at that place , who being
a now comer , and did not know of Judge
13.'s family , turned tho. letter over to a
prominent member of the church. This
gentleman at once replied that young
Brinson was one of Waynesbaro's rising
young men , that he came of one of the
best families , who wore prominent mem
bers of the Baptist denomination in the
county. The word Baptist was a blitzing
lire-brand and broke otT all friendly
communication. The Methodist minister -
tor and the parents of the young lady
could not tolerate tlio idea of their pot
lamb being penned 5u a Baptist fold.
Mr. Brinson stood his sail disappoint
ment like a man. He watched and
waited , thinking that that absence
which conquered love would yet como
to his roller , and in order to facilitate
this consummation all communication
with the town of Franklin was severed.
A few months ago he hoard a gentle
man from Franklin discussing homo
alTairs' and from his talk learned that
the object of his first love was still
single. It then Hashed across his mind
Ihtit she was true to the memories of
the past , nnd that ho had weakened
when ho should have been strong. The
judge , hastily planning a pleasant trip
to the mountains of norih Georgia and
east Tennessee , at their summer resorts ,
and meeting at one of these places the
object of his search , the past was
quickly gone ever , their vows again
pledged , and only a short time lias
elapsed since. They are now happilj
married.
Hunl loSay "Vos. "
Youth's Companion : Among the
Yankees there is occasstonally a man
who seems to find it almost impossible
to answer a question with a plain "yes1
or "no. " IIo has a way of his own
of expressing the aflirinative or nega
tive which ho finds quite as effective us
a flat l'vos"or "no. "
One day Kphraim 7 , a young upcountry -
country farmer , who had this peculiar
ity of making indirect answers , ap
peared before a minister to bo married
to Soraphiim Y , a comely and well-
to-do young woman whom he had long
wooed and finally won.
The minister began the ceremony.
"Do you , Kphraim , take this woman
Soraplnna , to bo your lawful wife ? "
Kphraim grinned : "Wai he ! hoI ! -
I guess I do , " said Kphraiin.
"Answer mo 'yes , ' " said the minis
1 1111141111 r . f * ll > * m * tt f . . . , , . . . .
answeri'd ' : "Wai , I don't 'say I won t ,
inrsoii. ' . '
' ' 'That will not do , ' ' said the minister
Irmly. "Answer mo categorically.1
"What ! " exclaimed Kphraiin indig-
lantly. "He won't take my word for it ,
ohV"
Hero the young woman began to cry ,
mil r'phrnim was finally induced to say
ves" in answer to the question. Some
of his friends think U was the only
time he had ever "said it right out. "
AVnntcil to Marry.
Atlanta Constitution : And when I
como back with the license you will
mirrv me ? You won't back outV
"No ; 1 won't back out. "
It was a tall , line-looking man attired
n a full suit of black , who asked the
question. Upon his head was a stylish
silk hat , while upon his hands were
lent kids. The question was answered
> y a woman well known among the
demi-monde.
About 10 o'clock yesterday morning a
Ino carriage stopped in front of the
nouso where Madam Susie Williams
resides. A man stopped out. and pull
ing the door boll , walked in when the
madam answered the call. After reach
ing the parlor the man looked around ,
and seeing Annie Ryan , asked if she
would mam' him. The woman gave an
illlrmativo answer , thinking that the
nan was joking , and ho left the house ,
saying that ho would return in n short
time with a marriage license. In loss
Jmn nn hour ho returned with a license
issued by Judge Calhoun , authorizing
the marriage of Charles A. Gable tflid
Annie Rvan. The woman , howover.de.-
clincd to carry out the contract , and
'
Gable insisted' , saying :
"I am from Texas , and I've got plenty
of properly out there. I've got money ,
too , and if'you'll marry mo you shan't
want. "
The woman naked Gnblp to wait until
Tuesday morning , saying that she
would give him a final answer then.
AVIicre She Drew I lie Mnc.
Chicago Tribune : "Laura , " said
young George Van Perkins tenderly ,
'do you think you could consent to leave
this'beautiful home , whore your inno-
eut childhood was spent , whore you
itivo grown to young womanhood , and
where you have boon surrounded by
every luxury that heart could desire or
-hat'fond atid indulgent parents could
u\stow do you think you could leave nil
these to become the wife of a young man
without fame or wealth , and who must
go to the far west to carve out his for-
, uno ? "
"I think I could George , " replied
Laura softly.
"You would miss many of tlw conveni
ences and enjoyments of city life , " pur
sued George , "in a community of hard
working settlers. "
"I should bo one of the workers my
self , ' ' exclaimed the fair girlwith beau-
.iful enthusiasm.
"I was sure you would , my noble
Laura. With youth , health , devotion
: o each other , and the future before us ,
-hero is no reason why wo cannot bo
nappy , oven in a western frontier vil-
'
nge'whorc there are no theaters , no
Drowning clubs , no street lamps , no
daily papers , no cable cars , no swell
dinner parties "
"None of these things , George , tire
essential lo real happiness. "
"And where the trivial customs that
prevail in so-called refined circles tire
unknown : where women never turn to
look at each other's dresses as they
i > nss on the street "
"What's that , Mr. Van Perkins : " '
said Laura , in an altered tone. . "Is'that
; ho kind of tin existence to which you
would doom mo. [ Rings for the
servant. ] Victoria , show the gentle
man out. "
Brides "Who Poreli In Troos.
Blackwood's Magazine : Among the
Lolos of Western China it is customary
for the bride on the wedding morning
to perch herself on the highest brunch
of a largo tree , while the older female
members of the family cluster on
Lho lower limbs , armed with sticks.
When till arc duly stationed the bride
groom clambers op the tree , assailed on
nil sides by blows , pushes , and pinches
from the dowagers , and it is not until
ho has broken through their fence and
'apturcd ' the bride that he is allowed to
carry her oft. Similar ditlicultics assail
the bridegroom among the Mongolian
Koraks who tire in the habit of celebrat
ing their marriages in largo tents , di
vided into numerous compartments ! At
a given signal , as soon as the guests are
assembled , the bride starts oil' through
the compartments , followed by her
wooer , while the women of the encamp
ment throw every possible thing impe
diment in his way , tripping up his un
wary feet , holding down the curtains to
prevent his passage and applying wil
low and alder switches unmercifully ns
ho stoops to raise thorn. As with the
maiden on the horse and the virgin on
the tree top the Korali bride is invari-
ablv captured , however , much the pos
sibilities of escape may bo in her favor.
"The White Dove. "
Indianapolis Sentinel ; 'Squire Crav
ens united in the holy bonds of wedlock
Thomas Seals and Miss Lilly Martin.
The groom is a well-known Indian , who
has been living here for the past ten
years with his mother , "Tho White
love. " Tommy is known as the sev
enth son of the seventh daughter , and
his father was a full-blooded Flat Head
Indian. The bride is a good-looking
white girl. For the present they will
make their homo with "Tho White
Dove , " who lives in a little shanty 8x10
foot square at the foot of Jollorson
street.
A Cheerful Itriilcgrooin.
Lcwiston ( Mo. ) Journal : There are
Fomo men who have a faculty of being
cheerful nnd chipper , no matter what
circumstances they are in. An Augusta
clergyman had a call from such a man a
few days ago. A young lady was on his
arm , and ho wished to bo married to
her. They were invited to seats in the
parlor , and as the ceremony was about
to proceed the minister requested them
to stand up. On coming forward the
would-bo bridgroom gazed around as
though the scene was a familiar ono.
and remarked gaily , with a smile : "O ,
yes ! I've been married once before in
this room ! "
A Novel AVililliiR Salute.
A crowd of typical East-side young
men marched into a down-town church
this morning after a couple who scorned
to bo dressed with moro than usual
care , says the Now York Star. It was a
wedding party.
The principal actors proceeded at
once to the altar rail , whore the clergy
man was waiting to perform the cere
mony. The others of the party ranged
themselves along cither side of the
aisle , each in a seat. The knot was
soon tied and the happy couple started
to leave the church. As they were
going down the aisle all their friends
stood up. Suddenly there was the bang
of a pew door. It seemed a signal , for
nt once everyone in the party com
menced to bang the door of the pew
that he or she occupied , and the noise
like the firing of guns was kept up
until the bride and groom reached the
door. Then it stopped , and before the
astonished clergyman could speak all
filed solemnly out. Ono youth , when
iskcd what the proceeding meant , re
plied :
"Well' , it's jest dis way : wo couldn't
afford no organ an1 no weddin\mareh at
li * affair , an' so de gang doj * jest got
tergeddcr an' give 'cm do best weddln'
saloot tint wo had in stock. SeoV
She dill not Call.
Chicago Herald : A few evenings
since a justice of the peace , whoso busi-
icss is in the city , was returning to his
residence in the suburbs , and upon
ilightlng from the curs was hailed by a
rosy-faced son of Erin.
"An" is it a justice yonreV'saldMlko.
"Yes , why , " replied the magistrate
rather grullly.
"Then It's to marry a couple we want
ylz , jist down the street there. "
"Well , " said the justice , "I'll stop
lomo and wash and shave , and bo there
shortly. "
"Niver a bit of if. sure your honor is
well enough as it is. an' It's yourself
than can do it now. "
The justice accompanied Mlko to the
residence of his friend , where ho found
a man and woman possessed of the nec
essary credentials , and being in haste
: o get homo ho performed the ceremony
, \ \ a few words , received his foe of
: hree dollars , and then took up his hat
.o depart.
"Sure , sir , ' ' said the bride , "it isn't
worth that much money for so small n
job , an' it done so quick ; it don't seem
: hat I'm married at all. You'd bettor
give mv man a half back , sure. "
"Madam , " said the justice , with all
iho dignity ho could muster , "come to
my house iioxt week , and if you arc not
satisfied you are a properly married
woman you shall have all the money
lack and as much moro into the bar
gain. "
The lady did not call , and the justice
s of the opinion she is satisfied he is a
'aithful magistrate.
The Sort of WIIV Hvery Sinn AVIshew.
Told by a. philosophical writer on
matrimony in a western newspaper :
"And just bore let me repeat tin anec
dote of a wife of a few months , who , in
Lho midst of her first quarrel , was asked
Ity her husband which ought to give up
first , the man who was the head of the
woman , or the woman who was created
for the man. With a smile and a kiss
the wife replied : 'Neither the stronger
nor the weaker , but the ono who loves
the best. ' "
COXXUlllAhlTIKS.
One hundred marrliiga licenses were issued
in Chlc.ipo ono day hist week.
CoiiKresimun 1m Davenport's bride is said
lo ho one of the social leaders at the capital.
A few days ago a couple were married in
Kentucky by telegraph. This looks like get
ting nmrricd on "tick. "
Dr. Henry , who has just hccn decorated by
the sultan of Turkey , married a daughter of
Hugh Hastings , the Albany politician.
The old maid pities the sorrowful life of
: he old bachelor so sincerely that she is even
unselfishly willing to share it with him.
The editor of the Boston Advertiser , Mr.
AV. E. Barrett , was married on Wednesday
evening to Miss Annie Bailey , of Chiremont ,
At Weiinur , Germany , two old people
named Bayer , husband and wife , died sud
denly on the sixty-fifth anniversary of their
niarriiigo.
The late Governor Hnrtlctt , of California ,
never married , lie said the reason was that
! ie had a high temper , and that ho feared to
make n wife unhappy.
A young college debater will argue for
lours that the pursuit of happiness is better
than the realization , and then feel disap
pointed because his girl reluses for the
fourth time to marry htm.
Susan 11. Anthony says that , "if a young
man spends two hours with a young lady
every night and her 'old folks' don't make
; uiy fuss ubfmt ft , the two young > follis may
L c said to bo ongaged. " Clearly.
Miss Eva Cartwright , of Michigan , has just
married .I.W. Coffey , the living skeleton in a
Detroit ditnu nniscnm. Eva now possesses
the prounil dignity of having a genuine readymade -
made skeleton in her finally closet.
Johnny More proposed to-a girl. Slio said
she would send her answer next day. Ho
was surprised to receive ut green leaf. He
took it to a botanist and since then ha has
been mournful. It was n leaf from a siek o'-
More tree.
Fifteen couples got married in Paris , Ky. ,
the other night , and it was ; said lo bo the
poorest night they had had for many moons.
When Kcntuckians arc notilyiag in ambush
for each other to settle old lauds they arc
getting married.
For the past month marrlagiM and dengus
fever obuvo prevailed in Uiuttrop county ,
Texas. These not affected by one epidemic
have boon subject to the other. In no case
that \va have heard ot has there been a com
plication of the two.
Lord Braxlield was an eccentric Scotch
judge , with a bad-tempered wife. His butler
determined to leave because Lady Braxiiuld
him. " " exclaimed
was always scolding "Why ,
the old judge , "yo'vo little to complain o' ; yo
may be thankfu' yu're no married to her. "
It is said that Signorina Tun , the violiniste ,
will shortly return to this country to become
the wife of Alexander Lambert , director of
the New York consurvrtory of music. An
other rumor has it that Adele Aus Der Ohe ,
the pianistc , will shortly marry Walter Dom-
rosch.
A Nebraska man has applied for a divorce
because ho can't keep step with h's ' wife. Be
fore grunting a decree the court should be in
formed as to whether or not his wife is
knock-kneed or bow-lcggcd. Marriage is too
sacred a tie to bo knocked endwise for trivial
reasons.
"My dear , " said a well known politician to
his wife the other day , "what do yon mean
by speaking so familiarly to the man who
was engaged in moving in our furniluruf I
think it was highly indecorous. " "Oh ,
pshaw 1" answered his better half with a
flourish of her head. "Indecorous in
deed ! I like that. Do you know , Mr. G ,
that before I married you ho was my hus
band I"
Although the dowry of Princess Terka ,
Manrico Bernhardt's brido. is ( ! 00,000 , the
mutch was purely a love affair. The princess
met a girl cousin of Maurice Hernhardt in
her painting class and they became great
friends. When the cousin fell ill Terka came
to see her frequently , and helped nurse her ,
and then met La liurnhardtand herson. It
was a case of love at llrst sight , and they be
came engaged about a mouth ago , although
Mtle. Terka had always been emphatic in her
decided resolution never to marry. She is
twenty-four , and Maurice Is twenty-three.
Marion Vamlerpool , who lives on Cain
Creek , in Ihis conntyhas been married twen
ty-six years , and is tliu father of
twenty-two children , fifteen of whom are liv
ing , and none twins or triplets. Bis wife's
maiden name was Louisa Miles , and she is
forty-three years old , and Marlon says she
can shoulder two bushels of corn. She is the
mother of all the children. Marlon is only
forty-live years of age , and was born in this
county , while his wife was born In Anderson
county , Tennessee , but was i eared here. Wo
doubt if this record can bo beaten outside of
Whitle.v.
Miss Mattie Kecler of Head City , Mich. ,
has had her experience In advertising and
will never hereafter say that "advertising
does ijot pay. ' . In a spirit of fun she re
cently Inserted an advertisement in the local
paper requesting correspondence , and repre
senting herself as young , handsome , and of
good family. Daniel Ludingtou of Kcgo-
inic , Kmmui county , saw the advertisement ,
wrote to Miss Kcelcr , and a regular cor
respondence begun. Thcro were many
points of similarity about the two persons
and just enough dissimilarity to make things
interesting. After the acquaintance had
continued four weeks , Ludington proposed
for Miss Keeler's hand , explaining how they
had bccomo acquainted , The lady's father
hesitated , but after satisfying himself of
LudiiiRton's rpspectabllity and honorable
intentions , guva his consent and the marri
age was performed ono day hut week. Mr.
Luilington has largo lumber Interests in
Emmett county , and is young , with brilliant
prospects.
You need not rack your throat and
lungs with that horrid cough when a
pleasant and certain remedy may bo
found in Dr. J. II. McLean's Tar Wine
Lnn < ; Balm. 'Jo cents a bottlo.
A VERY THOUGHTFUL CIVILIAN
Ho Prefers the Spcurlty of Prlvnto
Llifo to the Dangers of u ThrOno.
SLAUGHTER OF CROWNED HEADS.
An Oinnlmii AVho Would Itntlior tie n
Dooi-.Kcepcr to nn ICillloral SIIIH-
tuni Ylinn nn Occupier ol'n
I'aluc-c Kurnlnhcd AVItli
K\lllNlVH. |
HVIIff n for Hit Kumlau life.
There is just now considerable ill-
feeling in Kuropo and the wiseacre's
and weather prophets agree that war is
imminent. What this means wo all
know. Ever since the little unpleasant
ness between Franco and Germany in
1870-1 , the powers have boon arming
themselves to the tooth , and conscrib-
lug for the military service every male
biped that isn't positively blind , deaf
and lame. All the art and science of
the old world , and what could bo pur
loined of the new , has been concen
trated upon the invention of a now
ordnance warranted to kill deader and
quicker than any previously known.
Hence when the fight does come oft it
will bo Kilkenny rules and no mistake.
As a result there will bo a painful
shortage of able bodied men in Kurope.
As a result , also , there will bo several
vacant throne to lot , cheap. No taking
in view the difllculty some of the coun
tries had in filling such vacancies in the
past , when war hud not yet decimated
the masculine population , juul when ono
throne was to be dispo-icd of at a time ,
lam grieved to think of thetroubl
likely to occur after that happens , and
when a whole job lot of 'royalty will be
needed. The only escape from this
dilemma 1 can think of is that the sub
jects of Europe will look for the supply
to the United Stales , where every man
is a sovereign , just as they look to us
for hogs and other raw product.
Under the circumstances it behooves
every intelligent citizen to consider the
subject and canvasshischances betimes.
Maybe that is the reason why Jay Gould
lingers abroad so long. I have can
vassed my chances already , and after
considerable rellection concluded to de
cline a royal crown when it is offered
me. 1 do not want it. There may be
millions in it. but \Villiam Shakes
peare says : "Uneasy lies the head that
wears a crown. " I want my head to lie
easy when it lies tit all , and when it
stands up I don't care to have the multi
tude look upon it as a bulls-eye for
promiscuous target practice. My head
won't stand it.
I was born in 1851 but I do not remember
;
member much of anything thntoccurred
in that year , since my mother wouldn't
allow nio to go far away from homo at
once. But in the year succeeding I
recollect somebody at Versailles throw
ing an infernal machine at Napoleon
III. Now I have u constitutional dis
like for infernal machine and wish to
avoid , if possible , any collision with
them. They are sometimes very dis
agreeable objects to meet. The par
ticular machine in question did
not slay Napoleon , to bo sure ,
but neither did it put the quietus
to these who believed they had a first
mortgage upon his life and must fore
close on it at once. They attacked him
again in 18/iU , and failing once more , re
newed their efforts in 1855 , 18.57 , 1858
and 18011. The result was not satisfac
tory , still the business was getting
pretty lively by this time too lively , in
fact , for a man like mo , who prefers a
safe nnd conservative investment. Nor
was this all. Simultaneously , attempts
were made on the lives of Queen Vic
toria. Francis Joseph , of Austria , Victor
Kmnnuol. Ferdinand II. , of Naples , who
was stabbed : Isabella II. , of Spain : the
dude of Parma , who was mortally
wounded ; William III. , of Prussia , and
the queen of Greece. At the same time
Maximilnn I , returned from Mexico to
Vienna in a handsome and becoming
hoarse. That was going into the whole-
sal o sloughter with branch houses allover
ever Kurope , excepting Russia.
In 18ii ( ( Russia got her branch house
too , and the Into c/.ar dodged tho. first
bullet dexterously in St. Petersburg.
The year following ho was saved from
death In Paris by a peasant who knocked
the pistol out of the assassin's baud just
at the moment of firing. Two years
later the prince of Sorvia took a
morning walk , from which ho returned
a disfigured corpse. After that King
Amadeus , of Spain , was assaulted , and
like a sensible fellow that ho is , ho ab
dicated the throne and left the Span
iards to kill homebody else which they
proceeded to do. though having no king
to practice on , they contented them
selves with General Prim nnd Minister
Xorilla , the former of whom they dis
patched with skill.
Then followed a season of inactivity ,
until 1878. when operations were re
sumed with improved facilities , includ
ing dynamite and gun cotton. The
Gorman emperor was the first victim of
tlio hostiles , receiving the nttoution of
Ilcedol and Nobiling in quick succes
sion , and a helmet full of buckshot.
Some lodged in his head and neck. On
the unveiling of the NiedorwahTo monument
ment in 1881 ! a dynamite train was dis
covered leading to the spot designated
for the kai.ser , his guests and suit. Had
it blown up , as intended , all there is of
German celebrity would have been
scattered in atoms in that historical
vicinity. If that had happened to mo ,
I am sure I would not hayo survived the
shock and lived to bo ninety years old.
Some people have bettor constitutions
than others.
Previously , however , and following
closely upon Nobiling's attonste King
Alfonso of Spain was attacked by Mon-
casi and King Humbert , of Italy , by
Passiiminte. Alfonso was again the
shining mark for an ugly missile in
18SO. Meantime the old czar had an
awful time of it. Three narrow es
capes had ho within a year , among
thorn ono from a dynamite train plot in
Moscow , until finally his pursuers blew
him up in his own palace. I would
rather live in a dugout on a broad prairie -
rio than in n palace furnished with ex
plosives. Since that tinio his son has
boon a standing candidate for the
coroner.
Alexander , of Bulgaria , was not mur
dered , but merely kidnapped. Yet it
weaned him of his ambition to bo a
ruler , ami n-lion tlio Bulgarians invited
him to como back and resume business
at the old stand , ho sent thorn away.
Ono crown head , Sultan Abdul Aziz ,
killed himself with a pair of scissors ,
presumably to save some other Mohom-
medan the trouble.
Thus , looking over the situation with
an unbiased eye I find that a crown is
i risky thing to fool with. It is not
nromo'tivo to longevity , and above all
things I like to live long. I am not cut
lip for ono. Accordingly I have in
structed the office boy to turn away from
mv ante chamber any delegation that
might come to mo with sealed projKd-
als for a throne. When I want to go to
Kuropo it will bo as a private citizen
and incognito. This is my ultimatum.
AMXAXI > KU L. PQU.OCK.
n * Fife I Lavrio
ARCHITECTS.
D. L , SKANE , B , H. BROWN ,
( of Chicago. )
Present ofliccs retained until tlio completion of the new Paxton -
ton Building ,
16TH AND FARNAM STS.
mm
12,1 , and 1213 Farnam Street
Carpets , Stgves ,
WEEKLY AND MONTHLY PAY
MENTS ,
HIMEBAUGH & "TAYLOR ,
ICE TOOLS , Wire Rope ,
Plows , Buffalo Scales ,
Markers , Scale .
Hooks , Repair Shop.
Grapples ,
Slide Iron. OMAHA.
The Old Hcllalilo
Spi'clnlht of miiiiy
yi ' I'Mieilcncc , ticnls
\\ltli wonderful MIC-
cam all l.i'Mi.T
I'A.NCKll , 1'Il.hS ,
I. A.
RUPTURE
rurt'il without piiln or
hlmlrnncu from biis-
Inrss.
Ticiits nil forms of
> Tin oat , l.imu , Ntrvo
I nml lllooil illst-uses , all
Chronic diseases nnd
, m , . m- i , , . - , -ts , n > ofoimltU-s , furlnml-
vnnte ol nny liixtltmion in this country. Tlio-o
who cimteimilnto KOIIIK lo Hot Sin-Inns lor the
treatment or miy prlvntu or mood dlst'iiies can
lie cured for onu third the cost nt our I'rlvnto
DNpensni v.
knirP H > lilntroAtmontn I'uro , Ixivclr Cnm-
I ftlllrN iileilon , freofrom Bllownos , JrerklCH.
LHUIUU bliu-khciuH , eruption' , etc. , Urillliuit
. < nd oer-ei'l lii-allh ( Mil be bad.
MTThBt "tired " rcalliiKumt all loinnla wenkm-ixoi
enroll , niontlnic llendaclii-s. Nervous I'-of
ronintly
i rnton < : mr l IHibtllty. Wi'eiile no i. Dt-pre-lon
.ml lmlliie ll n. Ovuricin troubleliiilmniB.'jn ami
L Iccrntliin. Fnlllnif nml Displacement"Jl'lmil , wcHk-
m-ii KKIiioy complaints mid Change or Life , Consult
the Old Doctor mi
rur * I tin rill Acutuor Chronic Inflnmnm-
l-Yr ANII rUll Hun "f the Kjelhls or ( ilolia
Lit HIIU Unil an , | i-aror Neiir MKlitoilne
inrxrulnn of the IJdi , Scrofulous Ke" , Ulcernlln ni ,
lUflSmmSnon"AbsceNs , Dimness of' Vision ol one or
a o Kir. Ulccmtton or Otmrrli.
n ( - ) fne , or l ml , l ,
or Ilonrtni ! noise * . Thickened Drum , etc.
Ol nnn . ' , Scrofula ,
'l l'llpl1 ? llullllfl
HI Illlll Krj liol sFcverMm-i
ULUUU nilllClieS , rillllllU-l , 111-
corn , rains In the 11 end nnd llnnen , syphilitic N > ro
TliritHt , Mouth anil TIMIJJIIIS lllanUnlnr I'.nlarKf-mont
nt tlio Neck , llliiiuinntl in , Ciiturrh , Kla. , 1'cruiiincnl-
ly furcil When Others llnvo Fulled.
rUIYATE DISEASES uSri
nml strictly ( imlliU-ntlnl. Mniu-lnn Kent Iron Iniiu
uli-i-rvutliin lu nil luirts of Iho l.'nltc.'il Mutes. Curii'H-
lioinlencu rvec-lvi-i | irnni | > t iitti-ntlnii. No lettcm uu-
fWi-n-d iinli-HH Ht'rniiiimtiti'il liy fniirc < * ntR In tHinp- * .
bt-iiil lUclnrtiimpa tcir | iiiuiilik | > l anil ll t nl iiiu < tliin < i
iipnn iirlviiH' . | ii-t-liil anil m-rvmii illo i < . nvinlnnl
weakni-xo , Hiii-raiitturahnca. Impotuncy , i-yplillif , KV
niirrlniea , Kli-L-t anil varlciKt-li- .
Terms Mrlctly cash. Call mi nr aililrc" ,
llll. I'OWKI.I , HKKVKS
No. l'JI houlli lltli tl.jiinllui , Nub.
Thn "MJDhOW" shoo tia obtained n
roputntlon wherever introduced for
' " " lit " "coin-
'correct style , "perfect ,
fort and durability. " They Imvo no
superiors In Hand Turnsllnnd WrltH.
Goodyear WeltH , ana Mncjiine Sowed.
Imdlcs , auk fur tlio "IjlfniXMV" shoo.
Try them nnd you will buy no other.
FREE OF CHARGE !
Important to Spectacle Wearers ,
Mini & Hailes , Opticians ,
Jlrutt from Jx > mloii. Nownt
3.512 Fameuao. Street ,
Will thoronuhly test your cycslcht
Free of Charier , nnd hliow you where
neccHfinry the Glaabeti most muted to
your condition.
There nro then nmls of pemins permanently
InJmliiK their e > es by the IIMof Inferior and
ill-liltItiK ( ilnsfos , who leget when too Into their
mistake. Wonotlld invite those perilous nbont
to bruin nnd those who think they cannot be.
Milted to i > ee tin. Itcmember , it cobts you
uotliliiK Ijtitu few moments' time.
Tlio proper adjustment of Hpectaclcs Is u
( clence which none but tliu skilled optlulun or
oculist btunild prnctlto. We havu the. most Im
proved and scientltiu IniftriiincnN nnd tests for
Aeternilnltuf the dcfncta of vision and prmil-
Ise to remedy where possible by tlio nso of Spec
tacles ,
We use none but thn most perfectly jrround
and nccurutely centered leu ei > , ami make frames
to lit UKI fuee. tin fancy priced. Our CryHtallno
iJpcctailoH at 11.00 are uueqDiillcd for comfort
ami cuiio to the wcurer.
The following if u list of u few of the
bargains au
FERGUSONS'
Great Houseturnish-
ing Establishment
where they furnihh houses from cellar
to garret , every day.
A handsome writing doslc $ 8.00
A nice easy willow roi'kur : ; ! . / > ( )
A nice hanging lain ] , for L'.fiO
An easy roekor , carpet cover . . . U.r > 0
An elegant center table ii.OO
A largo si/.o mirror , wiilHut fn mo Jt.OO
A Smyrna rug ' . . ' ; 1.0(1 (
A bienilid | plush parlor suit 25.00
llqual to these advertised by other
houses nt $75.
A bed room unit for 14.05
Kfjunl to those ndverti-it-d by other
houses for $ .11.
Parlor suits , shellIncor.s. wardrobes ,
dressing cases , book cases , folding beds ,
and tv few more heating stoves below
cost.
cost.PUHGUSON FURNITURE CO. ,
716 and 717 N. loth street.
THE
i. a.
A La Persephone French Hand-made
CORSETS !
Highest standard ofCori-cl ever intro
duced into tliis market. They impart thnt
graceful figure and ( inc form which any
well dressed lady would , be justly proud ,
especially when obtainable without injur
ious ti ht lacing , etc. Indorsed as the
Peerless Corset
By leading dressmakers of Paris , London
and New York , and for sale in Omaha by
N. B. Falconer ;
Thompson , Belden & Co.
And ether morclianta.
FOR SALE BY
N. B. FALCONER AND FISHER BROS.
Proprietor Omaha Butlneit College ,
IN WHICH IS TAUdHT
Book-Keeping Penmanship
- , ,
Commercial Law , Shorthand , Teligraphlng
and Typewriting.
Send for Cuiiee Journal.
S. E. Cor. Ifith and CitpUtil AVD.
1 ! t Mil till OiuiUkUo * '
