THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , NOVEMBER 6 , 1887. SIXTEEN PAGES.
"Wo ore sliou'inij tlio moat complotu line of
LADIE ' SUITS !
And Ladies' and Childrens' Cloaks ,
Ever shown in Omaha , and at priced that defy competition.
Wo can easily give you a long list of panes but by so doing
we coiild give yon no idea how largo our stock is or how very
cheap wo are soiling goods. There is only one way to do
nnd that is to visit our store and sro for yourself , We will
Bliovv you with pleasure an 1 if you do not wish to purchase ,
you will not be urged to do so ,
We find that we have too many Jackets and wewill quote
reductions on these goods
Jackets , reduced from $4 to $2.75.
Jackets , reduced from $5 to $3. .
Jackets , reduced from $8 to $5.5O.
THOMPSON , BELDEN & CO. ,
1319 Farnam Street.
IN THE FUNNY MAN'S ' DOMAIN
A. Joko'a Confession A Lawyer's
Aclvico to His Cashier Client.
THE CARAMEL COURTSHIP.
Ball 1H87 On a Pullman Oar
Kiln IMilloMiphy The
Imwyer'M
blllty.
A Joke's CJonlVsslon.
St r.ml Cti > he.
I'm a Joke.
A weary joke.
I'm it gag.
A spavined gag.
I'vu traveled tin ouch this giddy world ,
O'or uud o'er again ;
I'm worn out , knock-kneed , ring'bouc < ] , bllnd ,
Hut in the ring remain.
I'm n special friend of thu journalist ,
Who wins hia broad by thewagof his wrist.
I'm laughed at , cried o'er , groaned und
scorneil ,
I'm mourned ,
I'm udonietl ,
I'm icfonnod ,
Oneo u week ,
As 1 Hticak
'Hound the world on my mission of fun.
I'vu got u corner on laughter.
I'vu also filed a ulaim on brevity.
I'm a dandy ,
I'm awful nandy ,
I'm very hiimly
When lliupar.igr.iphcr'H stock of wit Is low.
I'm great on filling spore.
And always , as a rule ,
Tell tilings 1 know about
The inollensivu mule ,
liCfjal Advice.
New York ITorald : Time Year of
our loodlo nltlormon trialH , 1887 ; n sutn-
nior'H day , nJtor dnrk. I'lnco Floor of
Straight Laced it Cheatemwell's build-
inff "ono flight to .the right ; please
ring the boll. "
Cashier What will I do ? I'm ruined !
I'll'ho sent to state prisonl
Lawyer What's the matter with you ,
tuiyhowV Ilnvo you killed someone:1 :
Cashier No , 110 , no ; but I'm short
81,000,0(10 ( in my accounts.
Lawyer Olil is that all ? Well , you
oughtn't worry yourself about a little
tiling like that.
Cashier Out I came hero for legal
advice.
X.tiwyor Oh ! I BOO. How much do
you say you got away with ?
Cashier One million dollars.
Lawyer IJus the bank got anything
loft ?
Cashier Yes ; $2,000,000.
Lawyoi Well , go back to-morrow
and steal that.
Cashier : Hut that'll break the bank.
Lawyer : Kxactly ; then , don't you
FOO , I know some ono who will have
plenty to live on like a prince while
you lire negotiating for a uomnrontibc
day by paying ( iO per cent. '
Casinos : I'll do it. 13ut who will
take care of the $2,000,000 you bid mo ,
113 my legal advisor , to steal11 !
Lawyer : I will , of course.
Cashier : And how much will you bo
kind enough to let mo keep ?
Lawyer : OhI ahl yes. I forgot all
about that. Well , d'yuboe , as I take all
the risks and in a matter like this
must look out for my fee I'll keep it all
and pay you a regular salary out of it
for the rest of your life. Good night.
Oh , by the bye. If you want to see mo
to-night , drop lu on mo at the Bar asso
ciation. I'm going to read a paper
there on "Tho Lawyer , Equally with
thu Judge , Should bo Above Suspicion. "
llnso Itall , 1K87.
St. 1'aiil Globe.
Thank heaven , it's over , the Reason Is pnst ,
And our eyes and our minds get n butvea.so
at lust ;
For the chill Incident to a northern fall
Has brought to a stop the great game of base
ball.
No more , will wo rise in the morning and
feast
Our eyes on two columns of matter at least ,
Nor yet lu the owning we'll hear the rude
call ,
"Dispatch 1 All about the great game otbaso
ball. "
No more will the doleful , sad taps of the
drum
Attract our attention as onward they como ,
'With ua old siuviucd horse that a small boy
doth maul ,
Advertising the news there's u gameof huso
No more will a voice In the pool rooms do-
rl.iro ,
"Ten dollars on OshkoMi. " "How much for
Kau Clairol"
No nmro will the suckers rush In with their
all
And stake their lust ccut on game of base
ball.
No moro will the feeling grow strongly In
tense
llocttuio "Cleveland lined the ball over the
fence. "
No nun o will the small boy cry "Hire a
hull I"
To the umpire who's running the pamo of
base ball.
No moro will the llend , exulting exclaim ,
While trudging along , cowing home from
the pauie ,
"Well , the umpire I'm sure , hod a surplus o (
P"l ,
But wu won , just j the same , In the tjamo ol
W-o bull. "
On 11 rulliiinn Car.
Pas eiiigcr : Porter , your insolence
and inattention to your duties are in-
mulct-able. I'crhups you don't know
int >
Porter : Oh , yes , I knows yo' . Bah ;
yo'u do president ob do road. Alt' DOM
let mo d'rcct yo'r 'tontion to do fact dat
I's a prominent member ob do syndicate
w'at's uegodlmlin' wif a view to takiu a
mo'gago on do road ; an' I'H not pleu : > ed.
wid do tone yo' sees fit to 'humo mo
'deed 1 isn't.
Passenger : I beg your pardon , my
dear sir. Ilave a cigar.
Tell us not in mournful numbers
That the fight for Truth is lost ;
That the people of this city
Are forever to bo bossed.
For the boodlers are not masters
While "tlio People" still exist ,
And the rule of oflicoholdors
Is a thing wo must resist. _
Lives of great men all remind us JgJJ
( To adopt a famous rhyme ) ,
That 'tis easy to bo brilliant ,
But 'tis hard to ba subllmo.
What wo want is honest servants ,
Men whose characters are < trong ,
Men who hate the sight of bribers ,
Men who'll war against the wrong.
A Caramel Courtship.
The beau sat on the sofa by the love
liest of belles ; ' * Mi H .Tones , " ho bhihhod
and btammered , "I have brought some
caramels. " "Oh , thanks , mo.st awfully 1"
she gu&heil. "liko you they're just too
sweet ; " and then at ouco her tongue
was hushed , for .she began to cat.
Now caramels are sticky things , and
when too quickly chewed they form a
sticky piwto that clings until the jaws
are gluod. The lover watched his hun
gry dove , who cho\\cd without a stop ,
and thought , "If I'm to win her love
now is my time to pop ! "
So down ho tumbled on his knees and
to his angel said : "Miss .Tonca ! Oh. will
you won't you please say 'yes. ' I want
towed. " Her heart against her corset
knocked , "Yes , yesl" she tried to bay ,
but couldn't for her jaws were locked
and turned her head away.
' 'Oh , apeak to mol" the lover cried ,
"do not my love discard. " But not a
word the maid replied , although she
struggled hard. "Oh , heavoiisl toll mo
' ' 'no' don't kill with
'yes' or me sus-
peiibo ; ii you won't talk , " ho screamed ,
"I'll go and auk a girl with saoiibo. "
Ilor perspiration came in drops ; her
oycs stuck out with pain ; she tried to
tear apart her lips , but couldn't stand
the strain. Thou ho with dignity arose
nnd glared at poor Mis.s Jones , and
laughed a bitter laugh that froze the
marrow in her bones.
"Adieu ! " hu groaned "I've got the
sack , "and started for the door ; she
grabbed his coat tails , pulled him back.
then fainted on the floor. "My starsl"
ho gasped , "I'vu killed her deudl"and
water on her throw , while she , a-nod-
ding with her houd , came very slowly
to.
LSul when her tongue , at' last untied.
burst with a thuudor bound , it's "Yes !
yesl yes ! I'll bo your bride ! " was hoard
for miles around. It's two years since
the marriage bolls ; now nothing can or
will , nor oven tons of caramels , keep
that dear woman
Ijiine Kiln Philosophy.
Detroit Free Press : "Remember dat
a lawyer will work harder to clnr a mur
derer dan ho wrll to convict a thief.
"Remember dat a naybur who offers
you do loan of his hoe am fishin' 'round
to secure do loan of your wheolbarror.
"Romombpr dat you can't judge of do
home happiness of a , man an' wife by
sooin' 'em at a Sunday skulo picnic.
"Remember , dat while do aivorngo
man will return do k'rcct change in a
busincbri transaukshun , he'll water his
milk an' mix beans wid his coffoo.
"Remember , dat all de negatives of
do best photographs am rotuchcd , an'
do wrinkles and freckles worked out.
"Remember , dat society am made up
of good clothes , hungry btomuchs , de
ception , heart-aches and mixed gram
mar. *
"Romombor dat people will nobor
stop to queshun the truf of iiny-rumor or
any scandal tilTcctin' your character , but
it takes years to satisfy 'em dat your
great-grandmddor do leadin' gal in n
15-ccnt ballot.
"In dispavsin' to your varus homes , "
said tlio president as the triangle
hounded its notes of warning , "remem
ber dat civility am do grease which
keeps do wheels of society from stickin'
fast to do axoltrces. An oblegin' dispo
sition may keep your washtub an' tkvt-
irons lloatiu' arouu' do nayborlioocl
'lobon mouths in do y'nr , but do faumo
reason will bring in chicken broth an' '
kind words incnbe you have n run of bil
ious fovcr. Somebody wako up Elder
Toots an' lot us go keorfully down
stairs. "
Tlio Lawyer's Itcspimslbllity.
Texas Sittings : "Have you got any
family ? " asked Mae Anderson , a Sai
Antonio lawyer , of a colored man whom
ho was appointed by the court to defend
the latter being charged with having
Btolen a horse.
" 1'so got no family yit. I looks to you
for dat. "
"Look to mo to supply you with n
family ? " exclaimed the astonished ad
vocate.
' I looks to you nn' do jury , boss.I doe :
for a fnc. "
' What kind of stuff Is that you arc
talking ? "
"Hits iust what I Fays. Miss Matildj
Snowball says of I only gets one yeah it
dojyonopotontiary sho'll wait fur mebu
of I gets moah , don she id gwine tei
inurry de very first niggah what comet
along. So yor sees , bo s , what u ' pen
bibility dar 'in ' reatiu' on yor. "
There are about eighteen thousand female
stu.lentH in the 'diftcrent colleges in thi
United States.
Them aro. 1S1 medical colleges lit tk <
Tlie Olil ttullnbln Ppprlatl t nf innnf je rfT eiporl-
i-neo , trnH wllh wonderful Jiitpos , all LL.S'U ,
Til IIO AT. CANUKH. I'll.Kt , KlSrULA.
lllnTlinr cnrwl williout ruin or hindrance
1 1 II I llnr from biiMni'Si. All Oiron1oIHi Ci ! cii.
IUI I UMU larln mlmm-Mif HUT liHtllutlmi in
til < rninlrr. 1 I.I ' ) " ! i < > c.uiliMnpliilo Kolnit I" Hot
I'rlnir of I'rlvnlc Illixvl
* for tlio twMinonl any or
ll > Vni > u run ba curud lur uuu-Ujlld Uia cu > l ul uur
ivoc peii'nrf.
niCt' lljrlilntrriitincnln I''iro. . ' JoY
AlllliS I'li-xtim , free from mltuwncst , freckle * ,
i.tlUIUU d'Heki ' , , . , , , ! , , eruption * , etu. , brilllunl
yp nd perfect lioiiltlii nn bwlm I.
t fl lml "moil' ' reullnB iui'1 all fiimnlo wonkne * n *
roinptlr otireil. llloiiUn * MemlnrlicB. .Nunroiu I'rof
nrnlmii ! nernl Debility. Heeji . " "nrv" IW'rp'Mun '
'nil ' liiillKettliiii , t ) nrlmi Iniulile" , liilliiiinntlon anil
Icleriitk.n. . ( iilllnu nnd IILiilnruiiienM. Hplnnl wonk-
JIM. Kliliu-y complaints and Chunxc of Ute , Consult
fin old Durtiir
"VC AMfl CUD Acute M nironio InflnmniR-
"it Ail I tAn tlnnnr llmiji-lhH : or tllol.u
L. I U nilU I- " ! ' nil Furor Ni'iir Sliflilediic ,
ntcmlnnnf thoI.Mt , Fcrnfiilout Kyn . Uli-erntloin.
nllmiiiii.ttluni , Al co ' , l > lmni. ' of Vlslun ut onuor
nth ym , and TUIIIOM of Mil. . . .
rBHntlnmmatlon of tni r.nr.-tJIcerntlnn or Oitarrh.
nlonml or i : tcrnnl llrnfne" , or I'nnilysU , Slnsln *
r Itimrltitf nol ov Tll ) ( ki'li'rl Drum , etc.
iirnl/nH / ? Debility. I. " " of VIlnllMwnr. Plecp-
itnVUUo | I'IIHIH. . Iwwpomlener. . ! * ; "f
IUIIV UUU Mpmorr.Ciintinlonof IdcnItlura
) pforo tlio Kye * . Ijiolturte , Linifuur , < ll < > nmli ) ; ' %
leprr lnn of Spirit. ' , AToflon to u le , l.n f I J ;
ourn iil , l.iii'k of ConH'Icnce ' , Hull. IJUlim , Unlit
nrStmty nr Mtl'lm" , n > l MmMlfon burden , Mifulr.
'oiiniini'nily mi I I'rlvnli'lv Cured.
3LOOO AND SK M
era , Tnlniln Ilio Mend anil llonp .HyiililllUCSoro
Mroat. Mintth nnd Toni > n' . ( llnndnlar IdiliiivuiniMit
rthn.Verk , HliFiimatl'in.f nlnrrli , htc. , IV'riiinnfiit-
r 'nre l Wln-n OUii-r * Iliirn I nlleil.
Consultation free nnd strictly conlldimtlnl.
ledlclno sulit free from obif rvntion to nil parts
of tliti Tnlteil States. Conespondenco reculvi-s
prompt attention. . No letters nnuwured unless
iccoinpanlod liy four cents in stumps. Simu ten
ents In stamps tor pnmphli'l miailst of cmc -
Ions upon private , special and nervous ais-
Turing trlctly cash. Call on or aildro s ,
DR. FOWELL REEVES ,
No. 3U South Vlth St. . Omahi. Vrlij
United States , with nn aggregate nttundance
of 15,000 student .
There are in India 42,000,000 children quali
fied by : IKO to attend school. Of the number
only some : ir , > fH,000 ) are being educated.
Hon. James AV. Uradbury of Augusta , Me. ,
hi- fat her of the normal school system in
Now England , H eighty-four years old , but
still halo and hearty.
A memorial to Helen Hunt .Tackson will
> e tlio Uiiinoim Indian girls' school at Santu
l-'c. The building will cost fc 0 , < JXt ( , mid will
iccominoiluto l.V ) pupils.
Miss Chin lotto Morrll , Bocretnry of a
.Brooklyn educational institution , may suc
ceed Miss Freeman as president of tlio
\Vellesloy college. The lutter is to bo mar
led next month.
Mi s Hose Cleveland's ' salary ns teacher in
.he high-chiss school for. young hulien In Now
York is said to bo higher than that paid to
my American woman , except the stars on
the Htngo.
Miss Hnlda Luudiu , the iaspectress of
needlework in the Stoulcton , Cal. , primary
schools , has carried out u rule by which the
joys in the lower classes share the girls'
.eui-hing in needlework , so that they can
hereafter make small repairs for themselves.
According to Prauleiu Sohr , Italy is wak
ing up in her turn among the nations to the
necessity for higher female education. A
quarter of a century ngo she enjoyed the bad
lire-eminence of u larger poiccntuge of the
untaught than any other European country.
Two young ladies uro running for school
commissioner in New York on opposition
tickets. The CHIIV.ISS has so for been a very
exciting one , but the democratic candidate ,
who is exceedingly bountiful , knocked out
her opponent , HO to speak , by distributing
several thousand of. her photographs among
Ihc voters.
trade school In New York for the
training of carriage draughtsmen and me
chanics luiH passed beyond the experimental
stage and ia now considered well established
and measurably meeting the design of tlio
originators. The school is intended to sup
ply as far as possible the place of the old-
Cashioncd apprenticeship.
Vassar is about to add all the facilities for
physical training to its advantages for mental
culture. Ground has been broken for a new
gymnasium there , und very soon the excuse
3f the Harvard oarsmen , who exblained that
the women stood first in the classes becuuso
they had nolhing clso to think about , will bo
removed and there will bo the sumo tempta
tion to ub.indou classics for athletics sur
rounding the collegiate young woman that
tempts her brother from , the path of learalng.
Aa ancient law on the statute books at
Yale makes it "tho duty of the senior class
to inspect the manners of the lower classes
and especially those of the Freshman
cbiss , " "That , " Buys the IJoston Post ,
"seems to bo abundant legal excuse for haz
ing. " This is jumping at a most unwar
ranted conclusion. Hazing , as practiced to
day , Is carried on , not by tbo seniors , but by
the Sophomores. Then , again , it does not
improve the manners of a Freshman to fill
his lungs full of tobacco smoke , make him
crawl under n tnblo on all fours , dash cold
water down his back or stand him on his
head against the wulL No , there is no excuse -
cuso for hazing , cither in college law , com
mon law or the laws of Immunity. Huziugr
is barbarity.
MUSICAL AX1 > J1IIAMATIO.
Marie Van X.indt is to appear in "Lakino"
at Nice this winter.
Ninety-two people wcro brought over for
Irving's "Kuust , " with 555 tons of scenery ,
costumes , etc.
MJ.'S. Scott-Siddons arrived hi New York
from London last week , and has already be
gun her tour.
Muics. Scalohl anil lima dl Murslai nnd
Signer ! Galussi , Nannctti and Baldini have
arrived from Kuropo.
Kate Uammolsbcrff , of Cincinnati , is
known in England as Mile. Holla , primn
donna of the Mupleson opera company.
Miss Helen Dauvray Is said to contemplate
"doubllng-up" with Mr. Sothora ajid starring
next season as the Uauvruy-Sothcrn combin
ation.
Theodore BJorkstcn , who was the tenor of
the Nilsson company in-lS&J , has como to
Now York City to take up a permanent resi
dence as teacher.
The most noteworthy dramatic event of the
week in Now York has been the Joint appear
ance nf Mr. Joseph Jefferson and Mrs. John
Drew in "Tho Kivals. "
Kate Thaycr , daughter of Judge Thnyor
of New York city , bus created a sensation ii :
Parisian musical circles by the compass und
beauty of her voice.
The famous Melnlngen company of actors
will probably como to the United States in
the autumn of 1SSS. It is said that the con
tracts to this effect have beea signed.
Mary Anderson will not go to Australia
next summorbut will tour Germany Instead ,
nnd will follow at the Star theater next No
vember under Henry E. Abbey's manage
ment.
Mrs. Langtry and Mrs. James Brown-Pot
ter will compete with each other for the pop
ular appreciation in Philadelphia , both being
booked for that city ut the same time next
January.
M. Coquelln began his season nt the Royn'
theatre , London , on Monday night , when ho
appeared in the leading character of "Un
Parisien , " supported by a first-class French
company.
Arthur Sullivan is making nn attempt at
grand opera. "Mary Stuart" it will bo
culled. The title. port 1ms been written for
Mine. Albaui , who will sing at thu licglnulug
of the London season.
Max Strakosch's new opera company in
eludes Marie S. Greenwood , Slgnor Tiujlla
pletra. T. H. Perse , W. H. Hatch , Catherine
McNeil , Signer Mania , Profs. Gori nnd Vol
dlti , Klsio Potter , Mine. Dialin ! und Signet
Uiallni.
Miss May Uobson , of the Madison Souaro
New York , stock company , is n daughter o
Stuart Hobrton , now nt the Union Square
She Is the idol of her parents , and goes on the
stage only because the is devoted to the
dramatic art.
Holiry K. Abbey's complete Gerstcr com.
pany comprises the Hungarian prima doiia
Mine. Hastri'itur , Signer de Anna. Signo
Carbona , Mmo. Saccoul , Nettie Cari > ater
Violinist SIguor Ferrart and Adolf Neuen
uortT , conductor.
The rehearsal of Sardou's new drama , "Lt
Tosca , " take place every Jay at the Porto St
Martin theatre , whore the first performance
is to be given on November 15. The plot i
laid In Rome , und begins the day after the
buttla of. Mareugo.
The luter-ftate commerce business Isiloinj.
with ordinary sosnery. Flat wing *
SUITS.
MENS' SUITS AT SB.
MENS' SUITS AT SO.
MENS1 SUITS AT S7.GO.
MENS' SUITS AT SO.
MENS' SUITS AT SIO.
MENS' SUITS AT $12.50.
MENS' SUI fS AT $13.50.
MENS' SUITS AT SIG.
Also higher grades nt nobby di vlot suits In
button ( utiiw.iy frocks anil sncVs. n.s well us a
general line of worsted mlU from (7 up.
Need a new suit or an overcoat now , and
if you will look at the prices quoted in
the upper corners of this advertisement.
You will be nearly convinced that
OMAHA CLOTHING
1308 FARNAM ST
UNDERWEAR.
I'or Suit
UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS. 80C
UNDERSHIRT DRAWERS , $1.25
UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS. SI.60
UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS , S2
UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS , S3
UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS. $4
UNdERSHIRT&DRAWERS.SS
Also a general line of Imported utuU'nvenr In
cotvh wool , n no merlin > , In pl.iln uiul fancy ,
ml CartH light & Waruor's celebrated umle-r-
wear.
aid flics can bo carried in a trunk nowadays ,
or the scene la painted on thin cloth with
lyes , and can bo tacked to the frames of or
dinary sccne.9 in theaters that are visited.
Among the most interesting revivals of the
orthcomiug'London musical season will bo
hat by the Bach choir on March 1 of Pur-
cell's "Dido and /Kneas. " The work was is
sued in KiT7 to a libretto by Tate , nnd in 18-10
t was published by the Musical Antiquarian
society.
John Qanvnrd , now living in Watertown ,
Dakota , was the first theatrical manager to
; ive matmco performances. They wcro
'lvcn in Harnum's museum , at Ann street
uid Hruadway , when lianvard immured that
nstitiitloa for the Seuddcr estate. Mr. Har-
num bought the museum for $5,000 , paying
for it in Installments.
Hiet/ , the composer of "Carmen , " Is win
ning fresh laurels through his posthumous
opera "Lcs Peehours do Pccrles. " It was
> urformcil last spring by tha Maplcson com-
> .iny in London under the title "Lola , " and
3amc vury near being a fiasco at the tlmo.
It has just now been produced in Hamburg
with a brilliant cast , under Von Burlow's
direction , and Una achieved a great success.
Four piratical opera companies are doing
"Errulnio" on the roaduriderdillercntnames ;
: ho Robert Grnu Fifth Avenue Oix-ra com-
jnny , under the title of "The Two Thieves ; "
the Temploton OHra | company , under the
name of "Tho Two Vagabond ; " the Wilbur
Opera company , under the title of "Caddy
and Itavvy. " nnd the Hcnnett and Moulton
company , , uuder the name of "Kobcrt
Macairo. "
A. ballet representing animated pool la
pleasing the English 'public. ' Fifteen girls
: -hul in bright red appear on the stage in the
form of a pool pyramid. The stage repre
sents n billiard table , and six girls stand at
the Hide each holding a net representing the
pockets. The leading dancer , who is cos-
Lumcd in white , scatters the pyramid of fif
teen "reds" and pirouettes among them ,
sending ono nnd another into the pockets.
Jules Burbior , author of the librettos of
some of the most famous operas of modern
times Meyerbeer's "Dinorah , " Gounod's
"Faust , " "Homco and Juliet , " "Queen of
Shoba , " Masso's "Noces do Jciinnette , "
Thomas' "Mignon , " Bizet's "Carmen , " and
many others has just been appointed direc
tor of the Paris Opera comiquo in place of
M. Carvnlho , who was the manager at the
tlmo of the fatal lire last May.
Mine. Patti will , after a banquet tendered
to her by the Brazilian minister at London In
December , start via Paris , where slio will
sing once ; to Lisbon , whera she will give
eight representations , and thence to Madrid ,
whence she will sail to reach South America
at Easter. She holds n guarantee of 1,200 a
performance in the southern hemisphere , be
sides a share of the receipts over u certain
sum , She hopes to return to Craig-y-nos at
the end of next year.
Tom Keene and his audience billed for
Macon and failing to got their trunks kept
faith with the Macon audience In their busi
ness suits. It was "Julius Cicsar. " Keene
borrowed n ciute-kinfe and u wig and said let
the play go on. It did. Marc Antony's pcp-
per and salt pants , Brutus' glittering watch
chain , Cresar's striped suit , Denius' old gold
yachting shirt , and Flavins' picnic garb wore
slightly anachronistic , but otherwise the
tragedy moved smoothly , Calphurnia's bus
tle staying in place and Caesar dying hard.
All of which proves that not Parisian toilets ,
but the plain , ungarnished drama is what the
public want and will have.
11ELIUIOUS.
The present membership of 'the Universa-
list denomination in the United States is
0 , 07.
The richest clergyman in the Unitarian
church is said to bo Itov. Dr. C. A. Bnrtol , ol
Boston , Mass.
The bishop of Leon , Mexico , has ordered
the clergy to wear citizens' and not ecclesias
tical dress.
The Protestant Episcopal clergymen of
Now York have organized themselves into
an association to benefit workingmon.
Mr. D. L. Moody ia expected to hold n
series of meetings in Pittsburg , Pa. , be
ginning about the 7th of November.
There ia no trouble In finding feet to fit
Henry Ward Beecher'3 shoes. But when it
comes to finding a head to fit his hut the difll <
culty begins.
November 13-19 Is to bo observed aa a wceh
of prayer for young men. Pastors ore re
quested to preach a sermon Sunday morn
ing , November 13 , suitable for young men.
Bishop H. B. Whipplc , of Minnesota , hac
long locka like Buffalo Bill , and known ti
great deal about the Indians in his section ,
Ho speaks several of their dialects and has o
great influence over them.
A union between the Presbyterian nnd
Congregational churches In Japan has been
proposed , and gone as far as a formal agree
ment sot forth by a committee for the con
sideration of tile churches.
A general summary of the Knglish Wes
loynu Methodist conference gives tlio total
membership of the community as 5:17,000 : ,
with nearly 47,000 on trial. The ministers
number 2SQ7 , Including probationers anO
supernumeraries. ,
Those who love church , order and decency
says tin English iu | > or , were somewhal
startled a few mouths ago upon read
ing of the Innovation of a surpllucil
female choir , row | > rtcd from Melbourne. Thi <
odd freak has reached England , and was in
troduced at a recent harvest festival in York
shire. l
His Holiness Pope Leo XIII. has determined
mined February , 1388 , as the time at whicli
the corner-stone of the new basilica of St
Patrick's in Homo will bo solemnly blBsset ;
and placed. Promliicnt.ecclcslastlca from ul
over the world are expected to be present al
this importrnt event , and among the orators
on this occasion will be the celebrated Arch
bishop Croke of Cnshel. Archbishops Carr ol
Melbourne and Uyan of Philadelphia.
Parisians are about to have a museum o ;
religion. The founder of thi.s rcmarlrnbh
and Interesting Institution is M. Guluiet. The
building is In the Gneco-Koman style o :
architecture , and with Its pillared jwrticocB
its rotontlo , its columns , and it caryatides
looks like an ancient temple. It la situate * !
near the Trocadero.at a corner of the Avcnu <
d'Jcna. The ediileo has been constructed
after design * which were taken from tlu
last mosaics discovered at Pompeii. Tin
religions of Greece and Koine ure mosi
strongly represented , and In the northert
gallery Is an atrium which is to contain tin
altar of n Pagan divinity copied from at
original model. In the lattcral galleries wll
bo exhibited objects appertaining to the re
ligions of Eorypt , India and China. In a gar
den attached to tha building there is to bi
placed a large conservatory and a pond con
tainlng plants consecrated to religious usca
Can furnish yon with "the best bargains , and
when you have once seen their goods you will
be thoroughly convinced that they have the
very best bargains both as to quality , price and
fit. Bead the.
the.OOR.2STEIR.S.
OOR.2STEIR.S. .
VARIOUS RINDS OF FAKIRS ,
Ono of the Graft GivoB Some Inter
esting Information.
AN EVANGELIST'S SOFT FAKE
The Faith Cure The Auction The
Street ItcprencMtntlvo Sumo
of the "Ways of the
Wicked Ones.
"Yes , I am a fakir , " said one of the
most successful men of that craft to a
BEE representative this morning , "and
did you over stop to think under how
many different names the 'fakir' plioa
his vocation ? Didn't ' , oh ? Well lot
mo give you a few tips that may cause
you to go to figuring. Perhaps the most
successful man in our time it the 'evan
gelist fukir , ' of which Sam Jones is the
most prominent representative. Now , I
am a great admirer of Sam. Ho can
stow away moro good solid cash than
any man in his lino. IIo and his pard ,
Sam Small , took $1,400 per week out of
Chicago , and their weekly eales of im
mortality delivered in rough packages
and tied up with strings of slang , net
them from $800 to $1,000 on an average.
Pretty good easy money , isn't it ? "
"Then there is the 'tomporanco fakir. '
Ilis methods are similar to those of the
evangelist , but ho don't rake in the
gleaming fahckols quite ns fast. But
they will average at from $25 to $50 per
niglit. I am a great admirer of thcso
boys , too , as they got something for
nothing , and blow in the profits. "
"Tho 'faith ' euro fakir' is a queer sort
of a cuss. You see they have to dross
like a preacher und wear a solemn cx-
tiroshion all the while. That fake is
dying out rapidly 3 am afraidas it didn't
go every timo. Still some of the hoys
tire doing pretty well with it yot.
"The 'auction fakir' represents a dif
ferent class , inasmuch as it IB necessary
for thorn to have confederates , in order
to successfully play their gaino. They
must have the pigeon-stool bidders ia
order to catch the ' 'suckers. " They got
some poor devil into the house and put
up a fino-looking watch. Thcu eomo
capper says $ o. The auctioneer com
mences to call , 'Five I am bid , llvo Iain
bid , five I am bid. " but if the sucker
should make an offer ho would change
hisyollto 'Six I am ollered , six I am
ollcrcdj"otc. , and this change of ono
word gives the tip to the cappers. Still
there is lots of money in the business ,
and a good auctioneer commands a good
biliary.
"What kind of a fakir am I ? Oh , I
am what you call ono of the street
fakirs. I got up on the corner and soil
the suckers something , no matter what
it is , they will buy if you give them the
right talk. I manage to got enough to
eat , drink and wear , and always have n
few hundred in my pocket , and that'sail
any man could wish for. Fakirs are
not the worst people in the world. They
are us a class sharp and u little lack
ing , just a little , mind , in their respect
for the principles of morality. To bo a
first class man in our business ono must
possess nerve , wit , a ready tongue , Imvo
a profound knowledge of human nature
and bo the least bit unscrupulous. A
man possessing thcso accomplishments
can make more money annually than the
biggest lawyer in Omaha. By the way.
what's your fake ? ' 'Newspaper man.
'The dovill Why didn't you say so ? ' "
HOME DECOHATIONS.
An exceedingly artistic portiere can bo
made of an ordinary purti-colored gross ham
mock.
Twisted Iron is considered the proper thinn
for Ras brackets in a good many hundaomo
rooms.
One of the accessories of a fashionable
writing table is a small penknife encased in
hammered gold.
Old thread-lace collars are used to trim the
hill : lamp ahadcs that tone down the bright
porcelain globes of parlor lamps.
Snndal wood is exceedingly fashionable
ajjaln. All sorts of ornaments are carved out
of It , and its perfume pervades the fashion
able boudoir.
Most interiors nowadays run to "trash. "
Everybody embroiders and everybody "dec
orates" cliitui , and a place must bo found for
the result of their Inborn.
Keep your crockery where it belongs.plates
nnd Jugs do not belong on parlor wails or
over parlor doors unless they ure really
works of art , which precious few of them
are.
are.Sash
Sash curtains of rich but thin materials
suspended from a slight end at the top of the
window frame answer all the purposes of the
ordinary roller shade , and are much prettier
to look ut cither front within or without.
Some new wall papers are so handsome ,
and look no much like old tapestries and silli
brocades that they furnlnh the walls of a
room by themselves. So , after you huvo them
up don't conceal them with cheap pictures In
cxiMinsivo frames.
The handsomest , ono might say the only
admissible tire screen , is a thick bevel-cdgtxl
sheet of plate glass. Anything that hide ? the
glow of the 11 ro from the sight is a palpable
blunder , for in these days of furnaces and
steuin heaters , the open fire is used , us u rule ,
only for decorative purposes.
The present taste In brlc-o-brao favors low
nnd broad objects , such an shallow bowls of
brass and handsome porcelain , for cabinet
and over mantel , rather than the Ull. Blender
uud much more graceful vases. Form Is lit
tle considered in these mutters nowadays ,
they are simply "bits of color. "
When a woman with artlatic Instincts , but
on untrained eye and hand , "goes In" for
homo decoration , she should always reserve
botli spare money und energy enough to ut
terly undo her own work. Give a Woman ,
n house , paint pots nnd brushes , hammer nnd
nails , a collection of "urt stuns" and "urt
pottery , " and the results are apt to bo rather
frightful.
A popular , though utterly false decorative
Idea is that if an article of ordinary use , such
aa a clock or thcruiometor , tan bo made to
look like something else it at once becomes
nit object of art. bo wo have battle-axes , an
tique keys and Place Vendomo columns with
Incongruous thermometers stuck on them ,
and yachts , triphammers , helmets , embossed
shields and pluuques with clock faces star
ing from them. All these things are in the
vilest taste. Ornamentation In such objects ,
no matter how elaborate , hliould rather em
phasize their use an nature lu a word bo con
gruous.
roues.
"Oh , mnnimn , " sighed little Ethel , "I have
such a headache in my sash , "
Teacher SupiKiso youweroa klng.Toinmy ,
what would you do ? Tommy I'd ' never have
to wash my face any more.
"Rufus , thnr wuz five pears on this tree.
an' now I only count four. How's thutl" "I
don't know , granny , 'ulcss you counted ono
twice. "
Little Johnnie's mother docs not answer
one of his many questions. Johnnie grows
nnd asks "Munimn haven't
impatient : , you
got any talk In your mouth. "
"It must take n long tlmo to get to heaven , "
remarked a little Pittsburgboy as ho watched
a funeral procession go past. "Why , Will-
html" asked his mamma. "Uccauso the car
riages go BO slow. "
A little Hurlington girl who dislikes arith
metic was asked to give the bum of nine cows
und seven cows. "Fifteen , " she replied.
When informed that this was wrong , she
petulantly exclaimed : "It doesn't make any
difference if wo only got the inillt. "
"Why don't yon como to Sunday schooU"
said a au | > crintendent to a boy. ' ' 'Cause pa
owes my teacher for a pair of bootH , and the
teacher got to sending notes homo by mo ,
and pa said I needn't ge any more till ho
paid for the boots , uud I don't think I'll go
any more. "
"Yes , Tommy , " said the teacher of the In
fant class , "that Is right ; vegetablesromo
from the ground ; and now can Willie
Wattles tell us whcio meat comes from } "
"Yessum. " responded Willie , with the air of
one familiar with the subject ; "meat comes
from the butchers. "
"And what would you do , Henry , " asked a
lady of her little nephew , who had been as-
HUriiiK her of his unbounded affection for
her. "if your good aunt were to die and your
uncle were to raurry ugainl" "Why , " re
plied Henry , without the slightest hesitation ,
"I should go to the wedding , of course. "
"Who was the most patient man ? " asked a
teacher In one of Pittsburg's Sunday schools
yesterday. None of the small scholars
seemed to know until a little chap , who had
been in a brown study for n few minutes ,
held up his band. "Who was it , Johnnyl"
"It was the man who had the awful poor
turkey. "
AQuincy teacher recently In giving pri
mary language lessons wrote upon the black
board the words "Ingrain , " "Brussels. "
"Wilton , " and requested her pupils to write
each a sentence containing ono of thcso
words. Ono boy displayed his iugonulty us
follows : "A hudgehog has Brussels ou his
back. "
The pastor of ono of our churches told a
good story from his own family. Ono of bis
little ones was very much interested in the
story of Elishu , the bad small boys and the
bear , as road by his mother. After a mo
ment's thought , ho said : "I wouldn't have
said so to Elisha , would I , mammal I would
have said : 'Please go up , thou buldhcad. ' "
ACTRESSES' HUSBANDS.
Emma Nevada married Dr. Palmer about
throe years ago.
Hornhanlt married an actor named Damala ,
but was divorced.
Knso Coghlau Is married to a Now England
business man named Edgcrly , who acts as
her business manager.
Annie Loulso Carey Is a devoted wife , as
she has inada her husband the all absorbing
objoctof her life , when not behind the foot
lights.
Modjeska's first husband was a Polish actor
named Modjoska. Mr. Bozcnta was. a young
nobleman who fell hi love with her across
the footlights when she was a girl widow.
Clara Morris married off the stage a Mr.
Harriet , a society man , but her marriage
does not prevent her from following her pro
fession. It was a mutch of affection. Her
husband Is as devoted to her as bho is to her
art.
Among quite recent alliance of wealth and
the stage are the marriage of Harry Weber ,
son of the millionaire piano maker to Irene
Perry , a burlesque actress of Henry nixoy's
company , and Miss Agnes Ethel to Francis
W. Tracy , n millionaire of Buffalo. Tracy ,
who after n great rivalry , bccured her bund ,
died recently , leaving her a million or two.
The will Is now being contested by the
daughters of bis first wife ,
The marriage of Nilssou to August Uou-
zuud , a nephew of Admiral Bouse , was per
formed in Westminster abbey. The nuptials
were witnessed by a number of distinguished
Individuals , including mnny of the aristoc
racy , artists , Journalists , Husstan , American ,
Swedish and French ministers. Count do
Steenbock , secretary of the Swedish lega
tion , gave the bride away. The marriugo
service was performed by Dean Stanley.
PKIU'EUMINT miors.
To be struck for mouoy Is a very painful
blow.
The frost strikes out the whole base ball
fraternity.
A Minneapolis paper advertises "leggings
for children with or without feet. "
The fashionable tones In kids this winter
will bo bowling green and blind man's bufl.
You cannot always Judfro people by appear
ances ; but you can often judge bank cashiers
by their disappearances.
The bee is very Industrious and never loses
any tlmo. You have possibly noticed how
quickly it brings you to the point.
No base-ball trust will be fonncd until a ,
written gtmruntee can be furnished that cuch
und every club will win the pennant.
Counsel Had the accused uny distinguish
ing features by whloh you recognUed him !
Witness Yes , sir ; ho was bowleegod iuboth
eyes.
'Business men should look out for n new
counterfeit dollar piece , " haya iln exchange.
Bettor look out for u genuine one ; it will do
him more good.
"Don't think It's
At the garden gate you
gutting urotty late , George. " "Yc , deurti ,
OVERCOATS.
MENS' OVERCOATS AT $4 ,
MEMS' OVERCOATS AT $5.
MENS1 OVERCOATS AT $0
MENS' OVERCOATS AT $7.50
MENS' OVERCOATS AT SO.
MENS' OVERCOA FS AT $10.
MENS1 OVERCOATS AT $12.
MENS' OVERCOATS AT SI3.C IS ,
MENS' OVFRCOATS AT $15. iff
Alsnn Inrgo iiMnrtniont of fur overcoats < I ' J\ \
fuc trlmnieu nvercoiiti' . ! ft
Cliildrens1 Department.
CHILD'S SUITS $1.50 TO SIO
CHILD'S OVERCOATS , $2 TO SIO
BOY'S SUITS , $3 TOSIG.
BOY'S OVERCOATS , S2.50 TO 315
SHIRT WAISTS.2GC . TO SI.
SINGLE PANTS , 50C AND UPWARD
is n little late for ono to bo out , but not so
very late for two. "
A plant has been discovered In India which
Is said to destroy the power of tasting sugar.
It promises to bo Just tlio thing for grocers to
mU with their sand.
Talk about pugilists knocking out tholr
rivals. Wo have known a whole sidewalk
full of people to bo cleared by n painter's
bidder with ten rounds.
Magnctist Yes , waiter , I nin n magnctlst.
Would you like to see mo tlpthetnulel
Walter No , mih ; but If It's ' all do same to
you call , yor might tip do waiter , sab.
Wo don't care how high coal Is tills winter.
Wodon't care If it is Lchlgh. But wo hope
it may bo BO high that the lailroiul companies
will not bo able to heat their airs with it.
"Water as n ini-dU-ino , " read a Kentucky
politician in a sanitary Journal. "Next some
blame fool will be advocating water ns n buv-
crago , " ho added , In n tone of deep disgust.
"Will you give your daughter much of a
wedding , Mrs. Overthellnol" "Oh , no , It
will bo a very quiet affair a few kegs of
boor , nnJ possibly some skyrockets from the
roof. "
The book stores in Iowa are selling large
numbers of a work entitled "Uoveries of a
Bachelor. " The volume is so full of spirit
carefully pnckrd In a flask between the cov
ers that every drinking man in the state
wants It
"I have Just ordered an clnvator , " said tha
Boomer to the Hustler. "What forl An
other .seven story ofllco buildlngl" "No , for
my front gate. You see they have been
grading our street nnd 1 must provide some
means of getting down to grade. "
A cow In Washington county , Ohio , re
cently gave birth to throe calves In ono ( lay.
Xcnia. O. , boasts of a two weeks old baby
that is the proud possessor of u perfect tooth.
A young mulatto girl who barks furiously
nnd constantly like a doy , la u curiosity of
Starke , Fla.
It is reported that a being with a face that
Is half man and half dog lives near Oil City.
Ho or It goes upon all fours.
An oik that weighed 800 pounds , dressed ,
was recently killed in Coos county , Oregon.
It was 15 > j' bonds high and 11 feet 6 inches
long.
long.Floyd
Floyd Tuft , n young giant of Wcstvillo.Vt. ,
is eight years old and weighs 125 iwunds. Ho
is as strong as an ox , and can easily shoulder
two bushels of corn.
There is an alligator over three foot long In
Asnew's pond , at Oeala , Fla. , that cornea by
calling , and cats three tiuicu a day out of the
hands of hit owner. He is being easily
trained.
.T. P. Johnson , of Chattooga county , Tonn. ,
haw n pig born with only -three legs , there
being no shoulder blade on the loft aide or
other indications that a leg was intended to
grow thoro.
The famous Hardeo Grove In the Hock-
ledge , Fla. , hammock , has produced an
orange that measures fifteen and a half
inches in circumference uud weighs two
pouuds and two ounces.
There Is n grapevine growing In the hum
mocks of Sawhntuheo measuring creek , near
Blakely , Ga. , measuring twolvolnches in di
ameter and thirty-six Inchesin circumfereiu'o.
ThoM > who have seen the vine say It is tht
largest known.
Miss Hhoda Burchett , a prominent young
lady at Owensboro , ban given birth to a child
without ears , eyes or arms. It has a patch of
hair on each cheek and also between the
shoulders. The report says it la living uud
doing well.
A woman of Jersey City , N. J. , recently
brought homo a strange egg us a souvenir of
a trip , and placed it on the parlor table. Ono
week after she was surprised to see a little
turtle break the shell of the egg and slowly
crawl out. The heut of the room hud hatched
it.
The Santa Cruz Surf tells of an hnmonsa
sea turtle which was caught near C'upltola
the other day. It measured eight foot f ronj
the tip of its nose to the tip of its tail , and lt
weight Is guessed by a local guesser to bd
about 1,000 pounds.
A Georgia man has an old hen that since
she was hutched until recently , was decided
ly white. Not long ngo she began moulting ,
and every white feathorthutdropped out win
replaced by a black one , and now biddy is
clad in somber black from bill to tall.
A Bclmont county. Ohio farmer rejoices
In a heterogeneous collection of freaks , con
sisting of a pig whoso feet are split so ns
to give It tha appearance of having toes , an
other with three oara , a cat with one ear
growing wrong side out and a boy with throe
thumbs.
A child was recently born on Statcn Island ,
N. Y. , whoso mouth ran ut right angles to Uie
place where the mouth should be. The lly *
wcro perfectly formed , nnd the upper end of
the mouth split the nose between the nostrils.
A surgical operation was recently performed ,
the child is doing well , and it Is believed that
it will bo but slightly disfigured.
A twelve-pound cannon shot was found Im
bedded seventeen Indies deep in an ouk tree
in tha suburbs of Finnklin. Tenn. It was
evidently fired from a federal cannon dur
ing the bloody battle twenty three years
ago , as It entered the tree on the side next to
the town. The ilbera of oak are still at
tached to the ball and nru nearly us hard us
the lion Itself.
The other day ns Mr. Stansflcld Baldwin ,
of Jaeksonvill , 111. , was hauling wood ha
found a blood-red owl about the si/oof a half-
grown chicken. The day being bright he
captured the bird nnd put It into his pocket ,
Intending to bring it to Dr. King to ba
mounted , but unfortunately It escaped. Mr.
Baldwin says it wa * > the only owl of the kind
ho had ever saw , and ho regarded It as a
great curiosity.
Saya the Astoria ( Oregon ) Transcript :
'Mr. O , Poison , who has been flshhitf In the
Columbia for the last eight years , ou Monday
night last caught In Voung'a river a tlsh that
Is u mystery to fishermen. It was twelve
feet In length and not of the sturgeon Hpeo
les. Centering between lla oyu It baa a
bony projection about thirteen InclusH In
length , varying from three inches In diame
ter to a needle point sharpness ut its extrem
ity. "
Tlio San Bernardino Times says : "Thero
Is in Hit ! canyons and on the bills north of
the city a tree which is covered with u fruit
resembling the cherry both In looks and sl/.o.
U him a very pleasant tatto , does not grow In j
clusters , as does the cherry , has a very lurgo
fctono , which nlscr resembles the cherry htone
In shapo. The tree grows moio like a bush 'A
UHimlly , though some attain a height of foity
to it fly feet. Tno leaf resembles that of the
live-oak. "
A Berlin company offers electricity
for boiling water and othur
an well as for lighting ,