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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 6, 1887)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , NOVEMBER 6 , 1887. SIXTEEN PAGES. "Wo ore sliou'inij tlio moat complotu line of LADIE ' SUITS ! And Ladies' and Childrens' Cloaks , Ever shown in Omaha , and at priced that defy competition. Wo can easily give you a long list of panes but by so doing we coiild give yon no idea how largo our stock is or how very cheap wo are soiling goods. There is only one way to do nnd that is to visit our store and sro for yourself , We will Bliovv you with pleasure an 1 if you do not wish to purchase , you will not be urged to do so , We find that we have too many Jackets and wewill quote reductions on these goods Jackets , reduced from $4 to $2.75. Jackets , reduced from $5 to $3. . Jackets , reduced from $8 to $5.5O. THOMPSON , BELDEN & CO. , 1319 Farnam Street. IN THE FUNNY MAN'S ' DOMAIN A. Joko'a Confession A Lawyer's Aclvico to His Cashier Client. THE CARAMEL COURTSHIP. Ball 1H87 On a Pullman Oar Kiln IMilloMiphy The Imwyer'M blllty. A Joke's CJonlVsslon. St r.ml Cti > he. I'm a Joke. A weary joke. I'm it gag. A spavined gag. I'vu traveled tin ouch this giddy world , O'or uud o'er again ; I'm worn out , knock-kneed , ring'bouc < ] , bllnd , Hut in the ring remain. I'm n special friend of thu journalist , Who wins hia broad by thewagof his wrist. I'm laughed at , cried o'er , groaned und scorneil , I'm mourned , I'm udonietl , I'm icfonnod , Oneo u week , As 1 Hticak 'Hound the world on my mission of fun. I'vu got u corner on laughter. I'vu also filed a ulaim on brevity. I'm a dandy , I'm awful nandy , I'm very hiimly When lliupar.igr.iphcr'H stock of wit Is low. I'm great on filling spore. And always , as a rule , Tell tilings 1 know about The inollensivu mule , liCfjal Advice. New York ITorald : Time Year of our loodlo nltlormon trialH , 1887 ; n sutn- nior'H day , nJtor dnrk. I'lnco Floor of Straight Laced it Cheatemwell's build- inff "ono flight to .the right ; please ring the boll. " Cashier What will I do ? I'm ruined ! I'll'ho sent to state prisonl Lawyer What's the matter with you , tuiyhowV Ilnvo you killed someone:1 : Cashier No , 110 , no ; but I'm short 81,000,0(10 ( in my accounts. Lawyer Olil is that all ? Well , you oughtn't worry yourself about a little tiling like that. Cashier Out I came hero for legal advice. X.tiwyor Oh ! I BOO. How much do you say you got away with ? Cashier One million dollars. Lawyer IJus the bank got anything loft ? Cashier Yes ; $2,000,000. Lawyoi Well , go back to-morrow and steal that. Cashier : Hut that'll break the bank. Lawyer : Kxactly ; then , don't you FOO , I know some ono who will have plenty to live on like a prince while you lire negotiating for a uomnrontibc day by paying ( iO per cent. ' Casinos : I'll do it. 13ut who will take care of the $2,000,000 you bid mo , 113 my legal advisor , to steal11 ! Lawyer : I will , of course. Cashier : And how much will you bo kind enough to let mo keep ? Lawyer : OhI ahl yes. I forgot all about that. Well , d'yuboe , as I take all the risks and in a matter like this must look out for my fee I'll keep it all and pay you a regular salary out of it for the rest of your life. Good night. Oh , by the bye. If you want to see mo to-night , drop lu on mo at the Bar asso ciation. I'm going to read a paper there on "Tho Lawyer , Equally with thu Judge , Should bo Above Suspicion. " llnso Itall , 1K87. St. 1'aiil Globe. Thank heaven , it's over , the Reason Is pnst , And our eyes and our minds get n butvea.so at lust ; For the chill Incident to a northern fall Has brought to a stop the great game of base ball. No more , will wo rise in the morning and feast Our eyes on two columns of matter at least , Nor yet lu the owning we'll hear the rude call , "Dispatch 1 All about the great game otbaso ball. " No more will the doleful , sad taps of the drum Attract our attention as onward they como , 'With ua old siuviucd horse that a small boy doth maul , Advertising the news there's u gameof huso No more will a voice In the pool rooms do- rl.iro , "Ten dollars on OshkoMi. " "How much for Kau Clairol" No nmro will the suckers rush In with their all And stake their lust ccut on game of base ball. No moro will the feeling grow strongly In tense llocttuio "Cleveland lined the ball over the fence. " No nun o will the small boy cry "Hire a hull I" To the umpire who's running the pamo of base ball. No moro will the llend , exulting exclaim , While trudging along , cowing home from the pauie , "Well , the umpire I'm sure , hod a surplus o ( P"l , But wu won , just j the same , In the tjamo ol W-o bull. " On 11 rulliiinn Car. Pas eiiigcr : Porter , your insolence and inattention to your duties are in- mulct-able. I'crhups you don't know int > Porter : Oh , yes , I knows yo' . Bah ; yo'u do president ob do road. Alt' DOM let mo d'rcct yo'r 'tontion to do fact dat I's a prominent member ob do syndicate w'at's uegodlmlin' wif a view to takiu a mo'gago on do road ; an' I'H not pleu : > ed. wid do tone yo' sees fit to 'humo mo 'deed 1 isn't. Passenger : I beg your pardon , my dear sir. Ilave a cigar. Tell us not in mournful numbers That the fight for Truth is lost ; That the people of this city Are forever to bo bossed. For the boodlers are not masters While "tlio People" still exist , And the rule of oflicoholdors Is a thing wo must resist. _ Lives of great men all remind us JgJJ ( To adopt a famous rhyme ) , That 'tis easy to bo brilliant , But 'tis hard to ba subllmo. What wo want is honest servants , Men whose characters are < trong , Men who hate the sight of bribers , Men who'll war against the wrong. A Caramel Courtship. The beau sat on the sofa by the love liest of belles ; ' * Mi H .Tones , " ho bhihhod and btammered , "I have brought some caramels. " "Oh , thanks , mo.st awfully 1" she gu&heil. "liko you they're just too sweet ; " and then at ouco her tongue was hushed , for .she began to cat. Now caramels are sticky things , and when too quickly chewed they form a sticky piwto that clings until the jaws are gluod. The lover watched his hun gry dove , who cho\\cd without a stop , and thought , "If I'm to win her love now is my time to pop ! " So down ho tumbled on his knees and to his angel said : "Miss .Tonca ! Oh. will you won't you please say 'yes. ' I want towed. " Her heart against her corset knocked , "Yes , yesl" she tried to bay , but couldn't for her jaws were locked and turned her head away. ' 'Oh , apeak to mol" the lover cried , "do not my love discard. " But not a word the maid replied , although she struggled hard. "Oh , heavoiisl toll mo ' ' 'no' don't kill with 'yes' or me sus- peiibo ; ii you won't talk , " ho screamed , "I'll go and auk a girl with saoiibo. " Ilor perspiration came in drops ; her oycs stuck out with pain ; she tried to tear apart her lips , but couldn't stand the strain. Thou ho with dignity arose nnd glared at poor Mis.s Jones , and laughed a bitter laugh that froze the marrow in her bones. "Adieu ! " hu groaned "I've got the sack , "and started for the door ; she grabbed his coat tails , pulled him back. then fainted on the floor. "My starsl" ho gasped , "I'vu killed her deudl"and water on her throw , while she , a-nod- ding with her houd , came very slowly to. LSul when her tongue , at' last untied. burst with a thuudor bound , it's "Yes ! yesl yes ! I'll bo your bride ! " was hoard for miles around. It's two years since the marriage bolls ; now nothing can or will , nor oven tons of caramels , keep that dear woman Ijiine Kiln Philosophy. Detroit Free Press : "Remember dat a lawyer will work harder to clnr a mur derer dan ho wrll to convict a thief. "Remember dat a naybur who offers you do loan of his hoe am fishin' 'round to secure do loan of your wheolbarror. "Romombpr dat you can't judge of do home happiness of a , man an' wife by sooin' 'em at a Sunday skulo picnic. "Remember , dat while do aivorngo man will return do k'rcct change in a busincbri transaukshun , he'll water his milk an' mix beans wid his coffoo. "Remember , dat all de negatives of do best photographs am rotuchcd , an' do wrinkles and freckles worked out. "Remember , dat society am made up of good clothes , hungry btomuchs , de ception , heart-aches and mixed gram mar. * "Romombor dat people will nobor stop to queshun the truf of iiny-rumor or any scandal tilTcctin' your character , but it takes years to satisfy 'em dat your great-grandmddor do leadin' gal in n 15-ccnt ballot. "In dispavsin' to your varus homes , " said tlio president as the triangle hounded its notes of warning , "remem ber dat civility am do grease which keeps do wheels of society from stickin' fast to do axoltrces. An oblegin' dispo sition may keep your washtub an' tkvt- irons lloatiu' arouu' do nayborlioocl 'lobon mouths in do y'nr , but do faumo reason will bring in chicken broth an' ' kind words incnbe you have n run of bil ious fovcr. Somebody wako up Elder Toots an' lot us go keorfully down stairs. " Tlio Lawyer's Itcspimslbllity. Texas Sittings : "Have you got any family ? " asked Mae Anderson , a Sai Antonio lawyer , of a colored man whom ho was appointed by the court to defend the latter being charged with having Btolen a horse. " 1'so got no family yit. I looks to you for dat. " "Look to mo to supply you with n family ? " exclaimed the astonished ad vocate. ' I looks to you nn' do jury , boss.I doe : for a fnc. " ' What kind of stuff Is that you arc talking ? " "Hits iust what I Fays. Miss Matildj Snowball says of I only gets one yeah it dojyonopotontiary sho'll wait fur mebu of I gets moah , don she id gwine tei inurry de very first niggah what comet along. So yor sees , bo s , what u ' pen bibility dar 'in ' reatiu' on yor. " There are about eighteen thousand female stu.lentH in the 'diftcrent colleges in thi United States. Them aro. 1S1 medical colleges lit tk < Tlie Olil ttullnbln Ppprlatl t nf innnf je rfT eiporl- i-neo , trnH wllh wonderful Jiitpos , all LL.S'U , Til IIO AT. CANUKH. I'll.Kt , KlSrULA. lllnTlinr cnrwl williout ruin or hindrance 1 1 II I llnr from biiMni'Si. All Oiron1oIHi Ci ! cii. IUI I UMU larln mlmm-Mif HUT liHtllutlmi in til < rninlrr. 1 I.I ' ) " ! i < > c.uiliMnpliilo Kolnit I" Hot I'rlnir of I'rlvnlc Illixvl * for tlio twMinonl any or ll > Vni > u run ba curud lur uuu-Ujlld Uia cu > l ul uur ivoc peii'nrf. niCt' lljrlilntrriitincnln I''iro. . ' JoY AlllliS I'li-xtim , free from mltuwncst , freckle * , i.tlUIUU d'Heki ' , , . , , , ! , , eruption * , etu. , brilllunl yp nd perfect lioiiltlii nn bwlm I. t fl lml "moil' ' reullnB iui'1 all fiimnlo wonkne * n * roinptlr otireil. llloiiUn * MemlnrlicB. .Nunroiu I'rof nrnlmii ! nernl Debility. Heeji . " "nrv" IW'rp'Mun ' 'nil ' liiillKettliiii , t ) nrlmi Iniulile" , liilliiiinntlon anil Icleriitk.n. . ( iilllnu nnd IILiilnruiiienM. Hplnnl wonk- JIM. Kliliu-y complaints and Chunxc of Ute , Consult fin old Durtiir "VC AMfl CUD Acute M nironio InflnmniR- "it Ail I tAn tlnnnr llmiji-lhH : or tllol.u L. I U nilU I- " ! ' nil Furor Ni'iir Sliflilediic , ntcmlnnnf thoI.Mt , Fcrnfiilout Kyn . Uli-erntloin. nllmiiiii.ttluni , Al co ' , l > lmni. ' of Vlslun ut onuor nth ym , and TUIIIOM of Mil. . . . rBHntlnmmatlon of tni r.nr.-tJIcerntlnn or Oitarrh. nlonml or i : tcrnnl llrnfne" , or I'nnilysU , Slnsln * r Itimrltitf nol ov Tll ) ( ki'li'rl Drum , etc. iirnl/nH / ? Debility. I. " " of VIlnllMwnr. Plecp- itnVUUo | I'IIHIH. . Iwwpomlener. . ! * ; "f IUIIV UUU Mpmorr.Ciintinlonof IdcnItlura ) pforo tlio Kye * . Ijiolturte , Linifuur , < ll < > nmli ) ; ' % leprr lnn of Spirit. ' , AToflon to u le , l.n f I J ; ourn iil , l.iii'k of ConH'Icnce ' , Hull. IJUlim , Unlit nrStmty nr Mtl'lm" , n > l MmMlfon burden , Mifulr. 'oiiniini'nily mi I I'rlvnli'lv Cured. 3LOOO AND SK M era , Tnlniln Ilio Mend anil llonp .HyiililllUCSoro Mroat. Mintth nnd Toni > n' . ( llnndnlar IdiliiivuiniMit rthn.Verk , HliFiimatl'in.f nlnrrli , htc. , IV'riiinnfiit- r 'nre l Wln-n OUii-r * Iliirn I nlleil. Consultation free nnd strictly conlldimtlnl. ledlclno sulit free from obif rvntion to nil parts of tliti Tnlteil States. Conespondenco reculvi-s prompt attention. . No letters nnuwured unless iccoinpanlod liy four cents in stumps. Simu ten ents In stamps tor pnmphli'l miailst of cmc - Ions upon private , special and nervous ais- Turing trlctly cash. Call on or aildro s , DR. FOWELL REEVES , No. 3U South Vlth St. . Omahi. Vrlij United States , with nn aggregate nttundance of 15,000 student . There are in India 42,000,000 children quali fied by : IKO to attend school. Of the number only some : ir , > fH,000 ) are being educated. Hon. James AV. Uradbury of Augusta , Me. , hi- fat her of the normal school system in Now England , H eighty-four years old , but still halo and hearty. A memorial to Helen Hunt .Tackson will > e tlio Uiiinoim Indian girls' school at Santu l-'c. The building will cost fc 0 , < JXt ( , mid will iccominoiluto l.V ) pupils. Miss Chin lotto Morrll , Bocretnry of a .Brooklyn educational institution , may suc ceed Miss Freeman as president of tlio \Vellesloy college. The lutter is to bo mar led next month. Mi s Hose Cleveland's ' salary ns teacher in .he high-chiss school for. young hulien In Now York is said to bo higher than that paid to my American woman , except the stars on the Htngo. Miss Hnlda Luudiu , the iaspectress of needlework in the Stoulcton , Cal. , primary schools , has carried out u rule by which the joys in the lower classes share the girls' .eui-hing in needlework , so that they can hereafter make small repairs for themselves. According to Prauleiu Sohr , Italy is wak ing up in her turn among the nations to the necessity for higher female education. A quarter of a century ngo she enjoyed the bad lire-eminence of u larger poiccntuge of the untaught than any other European country. Two young ladies uro running for school commissioner in New York on opposition tickets. The CHIIV.ISS has so for been a very exciting one , but the democratic candidate , who is exceedingly bountiful , knocked out her opponent , HO to speak , by distributing several thousand of. her photographs among Ihc voters. trade school In New York for the training of carriage draughtsmen and me chanics luiH passed beyond the experimental stage and ia now considered well established and measurably meeting the design of tlio originators. The school is intended to sup ply as far as possible the place of the old- Cashioncd apprenticeship. Vassar is about to add all the facilities for physical training to its advantages for mental culture. Ground has been broken for a new gymnasium there , und very soon the excuse 3f the Harvard oarsmen , who exblained that the women stood first in the classes becuuso they had nolhing clso to think about , will bo removed and there will bo the sumo tempta tion to ub.indou classics for athletics sur rounding the collegiate young woman that tempts her brother from , the path of learalng. Aa ancient law on the statute books at Yale makes it "tho duty of the senior class to inspect the manners of the lower classes and especially those of the Freshman cbiss , " "That , " Buys the IJoston Post , "seems to bo abundant legal excuse for haz ing. " This is jumping at a most unwar ranted conclusion. Hazing , as practiced to day , Is carried on , not by tbo seniors , but by the Sophomores. Then , again , it does not improve the manners of a Freshman to fill his lungs full of tobacco smoke , make him crawl under n tnblo on all fours , dash cold water down his back or stand him on his head against the wulL No , there is no excuse - cuso for hazing , cither in college law , com mon law or the laws of Immunity. Huziugr is barbarity. MUSICAL AX1 > J1IIAMATIO. Marie Van X.indt is to appear in "Lakino" at Nice this winter. Ninety-two people wcro brought over for Irving's "Kuust , " with 555 tons of scenery , costumes , etc. MJ.'S. Scott-Siddons arrived hi New York from London last week , and has already be gun her tour. Muics. Scalohl anil lima dl Murslai nnd Signer ! Galussi , Nannctti and Baldini have arrived from Kuropo. Kate Uammolsbcrff , of Cincinnati , is known in England as Mile. Holla , primn donna of the Mupleson opera company. Miss Helen Dauvray Is said to contemplate "doubllng-up" with Mr. Sothora ajid starring next season as the Uauvruy-Sothcrn combin ation. Theodore BJorkstcn , who was the tenor of the Nilsson company in-lS&J , has como to Now York City to take up a permanent resi dence as teacher. The most noteworthy dramatic event of the week in Now York has been the Joint appear ance nf Mr. Joseph Jefferson and Mrs. John Drew in "Tho Kivals. " Kate Thaycr , daughter of Judge Thnyor of New York city , bus created a sensation ii : Parisian musical circles by the compass und beauty of her voice. The famous Melnlngen company of actors will probably como to the United States in the autumn of 1SSS. It is said that the con tracts to this effect have beea signed. Mary Anderson will not go to Australia next summorbut will tour Germany Instead , nnd will follow at the Star theater next No vember under Henry E. Abbey's manage ment. Mrs. Langtry and Mrs. James Brown-Pot ter will compete with each other for the pop ular appreciation in Philadelphia , both being booked for that city ut the same time next January. M. Coquelln began his season nt the Royn' theatre , London , on Monday night , when ho appeared in the leading character of "Un Parisien , " supported by a first-class French company. Arthur Sullivan is making nn attempt at grand opera. "Mary Stuart" it will bo culled. The title. port 1ms been written for Mine. Albaui , who will sing at thu licglnulug of the London season. Max Strakosch's new opera company in eludes Marie S. Greenwood , Slgnor Tiujlla pletra. T. H. Perse , W. H. Hatch , Catherine McNeil , Signer Mania , Profs. Gori nnd Vol dlti , Klsio Potter , Mine. Dialin ! und Signet Uiallni. Miss May Uobson , of the Madison Souaro New York , stock company , is n daughter o Stuart Hobrton , now nt the Union Square She Is the idol of her parents , and goes on the stage only because the is devoted to the dramatic art. Holiry K. Abbey's complete Gerstcr com. pany comprises the Hungarian prima doiia Mine. Hastri'itur , Signer de Anna. Signo Carbona , Mmo. Saccoul , Nettie Cari > ater Violinist SIguor Ferrart and Adolf Neuen uortT , conductor. The rehearsal of Sardou's new drama , "Lt Tosca , " take place every Jay at the Porto St Martin theatre , whore the first performance is to be given on November 15. The plot i laid In Rome , und begins the day after the buttla of. Mareugo. The luter-ftate commerce business Isiloinj. with ordinary sosnery. Flat wing * SUITS. MENS' SUITS AT SB. MENS' SUITS AT SO. MENS1 SUITS AT S7.GO. MENS' SUITS AT SO. MENS' SUITS AT SIO. MENS' SUITS AT $12.50. MENS' SUI fS AT $13.50. MENS' SUITS AT SIG. Also higher grades nt nobby di vlot suits In button ( utiiw.iy frocks anil sncVs. n.s well us a general line of worsted mlU from (7 up. Need a new suit or an overcoat now , and if you will look at the prices quoted in the upper corners of this advertisement. You will be nearly convinced that OMAHA CLOTHING 1308 FARNAM ST UNDERWEAR. I'or Suit UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS. 80C UNDERSHIRT DRAWERS , $1.25 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS. SI.60 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS , S2 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS , S3 UNDERSHIRT & DRAWERS. $4 UNdERSHIRT&DRAWERS.SS Also a general line of Imported utuU'nvenr In cotvh wool , n no merlin > , In pl.iln uiul fancy , ml CartH light & Waruor's celebrated umle-r- wear. aid flics can bo carried in a trunk nowadays , or the scene la painted on thin cloth with lyes , and can bo tacked to the frames of or dinary sccne.9 in theaters that are visited. Among the most interesting revivals of the orthcomiug'London musical season will bo hat by the Bach choir on March 1 of Pur- cell's "Dido and /Kneas. " The work was is sued in KiT7 to a libretto by Tate , nnd in 18-10 t was published by the Musical Antiquarian society. John Qanvnrd , now living in Watertown , Dakota , was the first theatrical manager to ; ive matmco performances. They wcro 'lvcn in Harnum's museum , at Ann street uid Hruadway , when lianvard immured that nstitiitloa for the Seuddcr estate. Mr. Har- num bought the museum for $5,000 , paying for it in Installments. Hiet/ , the composer of "Carmen , " Is win ning fresh laurels through his posthumous opera "Lcs Peehours do Pccrles. " It was > urformcil last spring by tha Maplcson com- > .iny in London under the title "Lola , " and 3amc vury near being a fiasco at the tlmo. It has just now been produced in Hamburg with a brilliant cast , under Von Burlow's direction , and Una achieved a great success. Four piratical opera companies are doing "Errulnio" on the roaduriderdillercntnames ; : ho Robert Grnu Fifth Avenue Oix-ra com- jnny , under the title of "The Two Thieves ; " the Temploton OHra | company , under the name of "Tho Two Vagabond ; " the Wilbur Opera company , under the title of "Caddy and Itavvy. " nnd the Hcnnett and Moulton company , , uuder the name of "Kobcrt Macairo. " A. ballet representing animated pool la pleasing the English 'public. ' Fifteen girls : -hul in bright red appear on the stage in the form of a pool pyramid. The stage repre sents n billiard table , and six girls stand at the Hide each holding a net representing the pockets. The leading dancer , who is cos- Lumcd in white , scatters the pyramid of fif teen "reds" and pirouettes among them , sending ono nnd another into the pockets. Jules Burbior , author of the librettos of some of the most famous operas of modern times Meyerbeer's "Dinorah , " Gounod's "Faust , " "Homco and Juliet , " "Queen of Shoba , " Masso's "Noces do Jciinnette , " Thomas' "Mignon , " Bizet's "Carmen , " and many others has just been appointed direc tor of the Paris Opera comiquo in place of M. Carvnlho , who was the manager at the tlmo of the fatal lire last May. Mine. Patti will , after a banquet tendered to her by the Brazilian minister at London In December , start via Paris , where slio will sing once ; to Lisbon , whera she will give eight representations , and thence to Madrid , whence she will sail to reach South America at Easter. She holds n guarantee of 1,200 a performance in the southern hemisphere , be sides a share of the receipts over u certain sum , She hopes to return to Craig-y-nos at the end of next year. Tom Keene and his audience billed for Macon and failing to got their trunks kept faith with the Macon audience In their busi ness suits. It was "Julius Cicsar. " Keene borrowed n ciute-kinfe and u wig and said let the play go on. It did. Marc Antony's pcp- per and salt pants , Brutus' glittering watch chain , Cresar's striped suit , Denius' old gold yachting shirt , and Flavins' picnic garb wore slightly anachronistic , but otherwise the tragedy moved smoothly , Calphurnia's bus tle staying in place and Caesar dying hard. All of which proves that not Parisian toilets , but the plain , ungarnished drama is what the public want and will have. 11ELIUIOUS. The present membership of 'the Universa- list denomination in the United States is 0 , 07. The richest clergyman in the Unitarian church is said to bo Itov. Dr. C. A. Bnrtol , ol Boston , Mass. The bishop of Leon , Mexico , has ordered the clergy to wear citizens' and not ecclesias tical dress. The Protestant Episcopal clergymen of Now York have organized themselves into an association to benefit workingmon. Mr. D. L. Moody ia expected to hold n series of meetings in Pittsburg , Pa. , be ginning about the 7th of November. There ia no trouble In finding feet to fit Henry Ward Beecher'3 shoes. But when it comes to finding a head to fit his hut the difll < culty begins. November 13-19 Is to bo observed aa a wceh of prayer for young men. Pastors ore re quested to preach a sermon Sunday morn ing , November 13 , suitable for young men. Bishop H. B. Whipplc , of Minnesota , hac long locka like Buffalo Bill , and known ti great deal about the Indians in his section , Ho speaks several of their dialects and has o great influence over them. A union between the Presbyterian nnd Congregational churches In Japan has been proposed , and gone as far as a formal agree ment sot forth by a committee for the con sideration of tile churches. A general summary of the Knglish Wes loynu Methodist conference gives tlio total membership of the community as 5:17,000 : , with nearly 47,000 on trial. The ministers number 2SQ7 , Including probationers anO supernumeraries. , Those who love church , order and decency says tin English iu | > or , were somewhal startled a few mouths ago upon read ing of the Innovation of a surpllucil female choir , row | > rtcd from Melbourne. Thi < odd freak has reached England , and was in troduced at a recent harvest festival in York shire. l His Holiness Pope Leo XIII. has determined mined February , 1388 , as the time at whicli the corner-stone of the new basilica of St Patrick's in Homo will bo solemnly blBsset ; and placed. Promliicnt.ecclcslastlca from ul over the world are expected to be present al this importrnt event , and among the orators on this occasion will be the celebrated Arch bishop Croke of Cnshel. Archbishops Carr ol Melbourne and Uyan of Philadelphia. Parisians are about to have a museum o ; religion. The founder of thi.s rcmarlrnbh and Interesting Institution is M. Guluiet. The building is In the Gneco-Koman style o : architecture , and with Its pillared jwrticocB its rotontlo , its columns , and it caryatides looks like an ancient temple. It la situate * ! near the Trocadero.at a corner of the Avcnu < d'Jcna. The ediileo has been constructed after design * which were taken from tlu last mosaics discovered at Pompeii. Tin religions of Greece and Koine ure mosi strongly represented , and In the northert gallery Is an atrium which is to contain tin altar of n Pagan divinity copied from at original model. In the lattcral galleries wll bo exhibited objects appertaining to the re ligions of Eorypt , India and China. In a gar den attached to tha building there is to bi placed a large conservatory and a pond con tainlng plants consecrated to religious usca Can furnish yon with "the best bargains , and when you have once seen their goods you will be thoroughly convinced that they have the very best bargains both as to quality , price and fit. Bead the. the.OOR.2STEIR.S. OOR.2STEIR.S. . VARIOUS RINDS OF FAKIRS , Ono of the Graft GivoB Some Inter esting Information. AN EVANGELIST'S SOFT FAKE The Faith Cure The Auction The Street ItcprencMtntlvo Sumo of the "Ways of the Wicked Ones. "Yes , I am a fakir , " said one of the most successful men of that craft to a BEE representative this morning , "and did you over stop to think under how many different names the 'fakir' plioa his vocation ? Didn't ' , oh ? Well lot mo give you a few tips that may cause you to go to figuring. Perhaps the most successful man in our time it the 'evan gelist fukir , ' of which Sam Jones is the most prominent representative. Now , I am a great admirer of Sam. Ho can stow away moro good solid cash than any man in his lino. IIo and his pard , Sam Small , took $1,400 per week out of Chicago , and their weekly eales of im mortality delivered in rough packages and tied up with strings of slang , net them from $800 to $1,000 on an average. Pretty good easy money , isn't it ? " "Then there is the 'tomporanco fakir. ' Ilis methods are similar to those of the evangelist , but ho don't rake in the gleaming fahckols quite ns fast. But they will average at from $25 to $50 per niglit. I am a great admirer of thcso boys , too , as they got something for nothing , and blow in the profits. " "Tho 'faith ' euro fakir' is a queer sort of a cuss. You see they have to dross like a preacher und wear a solemn cx- tiroshion all the while. That fake is dying out rapidly 3 am afraidas it didn't go every timo. Still some of the hoys tire doing pretty well with it yot. "The 'auction fakir' represents a dif ferent class , inasmuch as it IB necessary for thorn to have confederates , in order to successfully play their gaino. They must have the pigeon-stool bidders ia order to catch the ' 'suckers. " They got some poor devil into the house and put up a fino-looking watch. Thcu eomo capper says $ o. The auctioneer com mences to call , 'Five I am bid , llvo Iain bid , five I am bid. " but if the sucker should make an offer ho would change hisyollto 'Six I am ollered , six I am ollcrcdj"otc. , and this change of ono word gives the tip to the cappers. Still there is lots of money in the business , and a good auctioneer commands a good biliary. "What kind of a fakir am I ? Oh , I am what you call ono of the street fakirs. I got up on the corner and soil the suckers something , no matter what it is , they will buy if you give them the right talk. I manage to got enough to eat , drink and wear , and always have n few hundred in my pocket , and that'sail any man could wish for. Fakirs are not the worst people in the world. They are us a class sharp and u little lack ing , just a little , mind , in their respect for the principles of morality. To bo a first class man in our business ono must possess nerve , wit , a ready tongue , Imvo a profound knowledge of human nature and bo the least bit unscrupulous. A man possessing thcso accomplishments can make more money annually than the biggest lawyer in Omaha. By the way. what's your fake ? ' 'Newspaper man. 'The dovill Why didn't you say so ? ' " HOME DECOHATIONS. An exceedingly artistic portiere can bo made of an ordinary purti-colored gross ham mock. Twisted Iron is considered the proper thinn for Ras brackets in a good many hundaomo rooms. One of the accessories of a fashionable writing table is a small penknife encased in hammered gold. Old thread-lace collars are used to trim the hill : lamp ahadcs that tone down the bright porcelain globes of parlor lamps. Snndal wood is exceedingly fashionable ajjaln. All sorts of ornaments are carved out of It , and its perfume pervades the fashion able boudoir. Most interiors nowadays run to "trash. " Everybody embroiders and everybody "dec orates" cliitui , and a place must bo found for the result of their Inborn. Keep your crockery where it belongs.plates nnd Jugs do not belong on parlor wails or over parlor doors unless they ure really works of art , which precious few of them are. are.Sash Sash curtains of rich but thin materials suspended from a slight end at the top of the window frame answer all the purposes of the ordinary roller shade , and are much prettier to look ut cither front within or without. Some new wall papers are so handsome , and look no much like old tapestries and silli brocades that they furnlnh the walls of a room by themselves. So , after you huvo them up don't conceal them with cheap pictures In cxiMinsivo frames. The handsomest , ono might say the only admissible tire screen , is a thick bevel-cdgtxl sheet of plate glass. Anything that hide ? the glow of the 11 ro from the sight is a palpable blunder , for in these days of furnaces and steuin heaters , the open fire is used , us u rule , only for decorative purposes. The present taste In brlc-o-brao favors low nnd broad objects , such an shallow bowls of brass and handsome porcelain , for cabinet and over mantel , rather than the Ull. Blender uud much more graceful vases. Form Is lit tle considered in these mutters nowadays , they are simply "bits of color. " When a woman with artlatic Instincts , but on untrained eye and hand , "goes In" for homo decoration , she should always reserve botli spare money und energy enough to ut terly undo her own work. Give a Woman , n house , paint pots nnd brushes , hammer nnd nails , a collection of "urt stuns" and "urt pottery , " and the results are apt to bo rather frightful. A popular , though utterly false decorative Idea is that if an article of ordinary use , such aa a clock or thcruiometor , tan bo made to look like something else it at once becomes nit object of art. bo wo have battle-axes , an tique keys and Place Vendomo columns with Incongruous thermometers stuck on them , and yachts , triphammers , helmets , embossed shields and pluuques with clock faces star ing from them. All these things are in the vilest taste. Ornamentation In such objects , no matter how elaborate , hliould rather em phasize their use an nature lu a word bo con gruous. roues. "Oh , mnnimn , " sighed little Ethel , "I have such a headache in my sash , " Teacher SupiKiso youweroa klng.Toinmy , what would you do ? Tommy I'd ' never have to wash my face any more. "Rufus , thnr wuz five pears on this tree. an' now I only count four. How's thutl" "I don't know , granny , 'ulcss you counted ono twice. " Little Johnnie's mother docs not answer one of his many questions. Johnnie grows nnd asks "Munimn haven't impatient : , you got any talk In your mouth. " "It must take n long tlmo to get to heaven , " remarked a little Pittsburgboy as ho watched a funeral procession go past. "Why , Will- html" asked his mamma. "Uccauso the car riages go BO slow. " A little Hurlington girl who dislikes arith metic was asked to give the bum of nine cows und seven cows. "Fifteen , " she replied. When informed that this was wrong , she petulantly exclaimed : "It doesn't make any difference if wo only got the inillt. " "Why don't yon como to Sunday schooU" said a au | > crintendent to a boy. ' ' 'Cause pa owes my teacher for a pair of bootH , and the teacher got to sending notes homo by mo , and pa said I needn't ge any more till ho paid for the boots , uud I don't think I'll go any more. " "Yes , Tommy , " said the teacher of the In fant class , "that Is right ; vegetablesromo from the ground ; and now can Willie Wattles tell us whcio meat comes from } " "Yessum. " responded Willie , with the air of one familiar with the subject ; "meat comes from the butchers. " "And what would you do , Henry , " asked a lady of her little nephew , who had been as- HUriiiK her of his unbounded affection for her. "if your good aunt were to die and your uncle were to raurry ugainl" "Why , " re plied Henry , without the slightest hesitation , "I should go to the wedding , of course. " "Who was the most patient man ? " asked a teacher In one of Pittsburg's Sunday schools yesterday. None of the small scholars seemed to know until a little chap , who had been in a brown study for n few minutes , held up his band. "Who was it , Johnnyl" "It was the man who had the awful poor turkey. " AQuincy teacher recently In giving pri mary language lessons wrote upon the black board the words "Ingrain , " "Brussels. " "Wilton , " and requested her pupils to write each a sentence containing ono of thcso words. Ono boy displayed his iugonulty us follows : "A hudgehog has Brussels ou his back. " The pastor of ono of our churches told a good story from his own family. Ono of bis little ones was very much interested in the story of Elishu , the bad small boys and the bear , as road by his mother. After a mo ment's thought , ho said : "I wouldn't have said so to Elisha , would I , mammal I would have said : 'Please go up , thou buldhcad. ' " ACTRESSES' HUSBANDS. Emma Nevada married Dr. Palmer about throe years ago. Hornhanlt married an actor named Damala , but was divorced. Knso Coghlau Is married to a Now England business man named Edgcrly , who acts as her business manager. Annie Loulso Carey Is a devoted wife , as she has inada her husband the all absorbing objoctof her life , when not behind the foot lights. Modjeska's first husband was a Polish actor named Modjoska. Mr. Bozcnta was. a young nobleman who fell hi love with her across the footlights when she was a girl widow. Clara Morris married off the stage a Mr. Harriet , a society man , but her marriage does not prevent her from following her pro fession. It was a mutch of affection. Her husband Is as devoted to her as bho is to her art. Among quite recent alliance of wealth and the stage are the marriage of Harry Weber , son of the millionaire piano maker to Irene Perry , a burlesque actress of Henry nixoy's company , and Miss Agnes Ethel to Francis W. Tracy , n millionaire of Buffalo. Tracy , who after n great rivalry , bccured her bund , died recently , leaving her a million or two. The will Is now being contested by the daughters of bis first wife , The marriage of Nilssou to August Uou- zuud , a nephew of Admiral Bouse , was per formed in Westminster abbey. The nuptials were witnessed by a number of distinguished Individuals , including mnny of the aristoc racy , artists , Journalists , Husstan , American , Swedish and French ministers. Count do Steenbock , secretary of the Swedish lega tion , gave the bride away. The marriugo service was performed by Dean Stanley. PKIU'EUMINT miors. To be struck for mouoy Is a very painful blow. The frost strikes out the whole base ball fraternity. A Minneapolis paper advertises "leggings for children with or without feet. " The fashionable tones In kids this winter will bo bowling green and blind man's bufl. You cannot always Judfro people by appear ances ; but you can often judge bank cashiers by their disappearances. The bee is very Industrious and never loses any tlmo. You have possibly noticed how quickly it brings you to the point. No base-ball trust will be fonncd until a , written gtmruntee can be furnished that cuch und every club will win the pennant. Counsel Had the accused uny distinguish ing features by whloh you recognUed him ! Witness Yes , sir ; ho was bowleegod iuboth eyes. 'Business men should look out for n new counterfeit dollar piece , " haya iln exchange. Bettor look out for u genuine one ; it will do him more good. "Don't think It's At the garden gate you gutting urotty late , George. " "Yc , deurti , OVERCOATS. MENS' OVERCOATS AT $4 , MEMS' OVERCOATS AT $5. MENS1 OVERCOATS AT $0 MENS' OVERCOATS AT $7.50 MENS' OVERCOATS AT SO. MENS' OVERCOA FS AT $10. MENS1 OVERCOATS AT $12. MENS' OVERCOATS AT SI3.C IS , MENS' OVFRCOATS AT $15. iff Alsnn Inrgo iiMnrtniont of fur overcoats < I ' J\ \ fuc trlmnieu nvercoiiti' . ! ft Cliildrens1 Department. CHILD'S SUITS $1.50 TO SIO CHILD'S OVERCOATS , $2 TO SIO BOY'S SUITS , $3 TOSIG. BOY'S OVERCOATS , S2.50 TO 315 SHIRT WAISTS.2GC . TO SI. SINGLE PANTS , 50C AND UPWARD is n little late for ono to bo out , but not so very late for two. " A plant has been discovered In India which Is said to destroy the power of tasting sugar. It promises to bo Just tlio thing for grocers to mU with their sand. Talk about pugilists knocking out tholr rivals. Wo have known a whole sidewalk full of people to bo cleared by n painter's bidder with ten rounds. Magnctist Yes , waiter , I nin n magnctlst. Would you like to see mo tlpthetnulel Walter No , mih ; but If It's ' all do same to you call , yor might tip do waiter , sab. Wo don't care how high coal Is tills winter. Wodon't care If it is Lchlgh. But wo hope it may bo BO high that the lailroiul companies will not bo able to heat their airs with it. "Water as n ini-dU-ino , " read a Kentucky politician in a sanitary Journal. "Next some blame fool will be advocating water ns n buv- crago , " ho added , In n tone of deep disgust. "Will you give your daughter much of a wedding , Mrs. Overthellnol" "Oh , no , It will bo a very quiet affair a few kegs of boor , nnJ possibly some skyrockets from the roof. " The book stores in Iowa are selling large numbers of a work entitled "Uoveries of a Bachelor. " The volume is so full of spirit carefully pnckrd In a flask between the cov ers that every drinking man in the state wants It "I have Just ordered an clnvator , " said tha Boomer to the Hustler. "What forl An other .seven story ofllco buildlngl" "No , for my front gate. You see they have been grading our street nnd 1 must provide some means of getting down to grade. " A cow In Washington county , Ohio , re cently gave birth to throe calves In ono ( lay. Xcnia. O. , boasts of a two weeks old baby that is the proud possessor of u perfect tooth. A young mulatto girl who barks furiously nnd constantly like a doy , la u curiosity of Starke , Fla. It is reported that a being with a face that Is half man and half dog lives near Oil City. Ho or It goes upon all fours. An oik that weighed 800 pounds , dressed , was recently killed in Coos county , Oregon. It was 15 > j' bonds high and 11 feet 6 inches long. long.Floyd Floyd Tuft , n young giant of Wcstvillo.Vt. , is eight years old and weighs 125 iwunds. Ho is as strong as an ox , and can easily shoulder two bushels of corn. There is an alligator over three foot long In Asnew's pond , at Oeala , Fla. , that cornea by calling , and cats three tiuicu a day out of the hands of hit owner. He is being easily trained. .T. P. Johnson , of Chattooga county , Tonn. , haw n pig born with only -three legs , there being no shoulder blade on the loft aide or other indications that a leg was intended to grow thoro. The famous Hardeo Grove In the Hock- ledge , Fla. , hammock , has produced an orange that measures fifteen and a half inches in circumference uud weighs two pouuds and two ounces. There Is n grapevine growing In the hum mocks of Sawhntuheo measuring creek , near Blakely , Ga. , measuring twolvolnches in di ameter and thirty-six Inchesin circumfereiu'o. ThoM > who have seen the vine say It is tht largest known. Miss Hhoda Burchett , a prominent young lady at Owensboro , ban given birth to a child without ears , eyes or arms. It has a patch of hair on each cheek and also between the shoulders. The report says it la living uud doing well. A woman of Jersey City , N. J. , recently brought homo a strange egg us a souvenir of a trip , and placed it on the parlor table. Ono week after she was surprised to see a little turtle break the shell of the egg and slowly crawl out. The heut of the room hud hatched it. The Santa Cruz Surf tells of an hnmonsa sea turtle which was caught near C'upltola the other day. It measured eight foot f ronj the tip of its nose to the tip of its tail , and lt weight Is guessed by a local guesser to bd about 1,000 pounds. A Georgia man has an old hen that since she was hutched until recently , was decided ly white. Not long ngo she began moulting , and every white feathorthutdropped out win replaced by a black one , and now biddy is clad in somber black from bill to tall. A Bclmont county. Ohio farmer rejoices In a heterogeneous collection of freaks , con sisting of a pig whoso feet are split so ns to give It tha appearance of having toes , an other with three oara , a cat with one ear growing wrong side out and a boy with throe thumbs. A child was recently born on Statcn Island , N. Y. , whoso mouth ran ut right angles to Uie place where the mouth should be. The lly * wcro perfectly formed , nnd the upper end of the mouth split the nose between the nostrils. A surgical operation was recently performed , the child is doing well , and it Is believed that it will bo but slightly disfigured. A twelve-pound cannon shot was found Im bedded seventeen Indies deep in an ouk tree in tha suburbs of Finnklin. Tenn. It was evidently fired from a federal cannon dur ing the bloody battle twenty three years ago , as It entered the tree on the side next to the town. The ilbera of oak are still at tached to the ball and nru nearly us hard us the lion Itself. The other day ns Mr. Stansflcld Baldwin , of Jaeksonvill , 111. , was hauling wood ha found a blood-red owl about the si/oof a half- grown chicken. The day being bright he captured the bird nnd put It into his pocket , Intending to bring it to Dr. King to ba mounted , but unfortunately It escaped. Mr. Baldwin says it wa * > the only owl of the kind ho had ever saw , and ho regarded It as a great curiosity. Saya the Astoria ( Oregon ) Transcript : 'Mr. O , Poison , who has been flshhitf In the Columbia for the last eight years , ou Monday night last caught In Voung'a river a tlsh that Is u mystery to fishermen. It was twelve feet In length and not of the sturgeon Hpeo les. Centering between lla oyu It baa a bony projection about thirteen InclusH In length , varying from three inches In diame ter to a needle point sharpness ut its extrem ity. " Tlio San Bernardino Times says : "Thero Is in Hit ! canyons and on the bills north of the city a tree which is covered with u fruit resembling the cherry both In looks and sl/.o. U him a very pleasant tatto , does not grow In j clusters , as does the cherry , has a very lurgo fctono , which nlscr resembles the cherry htone In shapo. The tree grows moio like a bush 'A UHimlly , though some attain a height of foity to it fly feet. Tno leaf resembles that of the live-oak. " A Berlin company offers electricity for boiling water and othur an well as for lighting ,